Tween Magazine
Summer Health Advice for Girls Nine to Twelve
by ‘this guy’
by Dr. Des Troy-Aarr’s
1. I am just starting to grow hair between my legs. What should I do?
A good question. Most girls are confused by the suddenly sprouting tufts of fuzzy curly hair in their neither regions. Older girls want a nice thick bush, so the best thing to do from the age of nine to sixteen is to shave it all off every few days. Yes, you read that correctly: shave off any and all hair on your mound. That way, when you are older, you will have a nice thick bush.
As a result of changes to your body, girls your age can pick up various viruses and infections. Keeping your pussy hair shaved helps to keep that part of your body germ free.
A “thigh gap” quite simply is the space between a girl’s thighs when she is standing (barefoot) with her feet next to each other. If you don’t have one it means you’re severely overweight.
What about a “bikini bridge”?
3. How do I make sure I don’t get fat?
First off, don’t eat too much. If you don’t still feel a little hungry after eating, you’ve eaten too much. A good way to prevent over-eating is to drink a big glass of water before a meal: the water will fill up your stomach making you feel less hungry. Try to avoid fatty, salty, greasy, and sweetened foods (and beverages): they contain more calories than you need.
Second, burn the calories you’ve consumed. That’s right: exercise is good for more than just sculpting your buns. Time on the stair stepper, treadmill, or stationary bike can do wonders. Just remember that you don’t need to go to the gym get exercise: walking around with friends, climbing steps and riding a bicycle are just as effective… That’s not to say there aren’t other ways to burn calories; things like ballet and dancing are good too…
During the summer you can sweat the weight off by spending plenty of time outside in the sun. The hotter it is the more weight you’ll lose.
As important as not over-eating and getting plenty of exercise are, you should try to focus your mind on not getting fat. An easy way to do this is to create a “thinspiration” folder: spend at least an hour every week looking for and collecting pictures of girls and women who are thinner than you. Every time you add pictures to the folder look at the ones you’ve already collected, remove any pictures of girls and women who are no longer thinner than you, and think about how great the lives of these thin girls and women must be because they aren’t fat. Do that and you’ll stay nice and thin.
4. How do I make my boobs larger?
Guys love girls with big boobs. But you already knew that…so how do you get a pair of huge knockers? Well, there are always implants…but guys prefer natural boobs to fake ones.
The truth is it’s not that tough to get big natural boobs, although it does take a bit of work.
Pinch your nipples every day for at least twenty minutes. You can also have a friend pinch them, while you do hers. Yes it hurts, but that means its working: like trainers say at the gym “no pain no gain.”
There is a substantially less painful, although somewhat less pleasant, way to get big boobs. Urine, as you may know, contain some of the hormones that are in our bodies…including the hormones that make a girl’s boobs grow. Let your boobs soak in another girl’s piss. It may not be the easiest or most pleasant thing to do, but it works astonishingly well.
Follow this simple advice and you will soon notice that your boobs are getting larger in no time.
5. Am I old enough to have sex?
Short answer: yes.
Long answer: it depends on how old the guy you’re having sex with is. By nine; a girl’s body is big enough, and physically mature enough, for her to have sex with a guy who is her age or even a few years older than her. By twelve; a girl’s body can handle sex with most teenagers. Of course there are limits as far as what your body will be physically able to handle. If you’re not sure, use this rule of thumb: double your age then subtract six (i.e. at nine you can have sex with a boy who is twelve, at ten the boy can be fourteen, etc.).
That said; lots of kids first have sex even younger. There’s nothing wrong with it: after all it is part of our sexual and youth oriented culture.
Some stats on the age kids are when they first have sex:
Who should I have sex with?
Since guys are perpetually horny, pretty much any guy you ask to have sex with you will say yes.
Don’t guys get jealous?
Sometimes they do, but you’re young enough that most guys won’t mind if you’re having sex with other guys, largely because preteen and teenage guys are usually having sex with multiple girls. Besides, guys know that most girls your age don't have a regular boyfriend yet; and girls who don’t have a regular boyfriend generally have sex with multiple guys.
What should I do if a guy asks to have sex with me?
If he’s too old, simply tell him he’s too old for you. Otherwise, there isn’t really any reason not to have sex with him, so you might as well just do it… It’s fun and you’ll love it!
But I don’t want him to tell his friends about it?
Why? Each and every friend he tells will want to have sex with you. The more guys he tells the more guys you’ll get to have sex with.
6. What about condoms?
Condoms exist for two reasons: preventing pregnancy and keeping sick people from making other people sick.
Given that preteen girls are too young to have to worry about getting pregnant and are generally healthy, you have no practical reason to use condoms.
The only real reason kids your age to use condoms is for a number of games that involve saving certain bodily fluids…
7. What about smoking cigarettes? 🚬
There is a lot of false information going around about smoking. Let’s correct some of these mis-truths…
For one thing: yes, smoking cigarettes is cool! All the coolest celebrities smoke…so why shouldn’t you?
Secondly, smoking does not actually cause cancer: it does slightly increase the chance that one will get cancer at some point late in life. A comprehensive study done by the Tar-Hock Institute has shown that a woman has to smoke some 148,000 cigarettes to have a 5% higher chance she will get cancer at some point in her life than a woman who never smoked a single cigarette. That means that smoking one cigarette will only increase your chances of getting cancer by 0.0000034%. And even if you do end up getting cancer, there’s no reason to worry about it now because it won’t happen until you’re old. The important thing to remember it the increased risk of getting cancer decreases if a person stops smoking. So don’t fret if cancer runs in your family: you can always quit when you get to be the age relatives were when they got cancer.
Third, smoking does not make your skin rough and your teeth yellow. Smoking has NO more effect on a person’s skin or teeth than eating food. Bad hygiene and poor diet, on the other hand will negatively impact your physical appearance. Consider this: many of the world’s most beautiful models smoke and have better skin and teeth than the vast majority of the world’s non-smoking population. For example, supermodel Suzie Derkins smokes four packs every day: her skin and teeth are, for lack of a better word, perfect…
Fourth, childhood cancer: of the children currently undergoing cancer treatment at Saint Judo’s Childhood Cancer Research Hospital not one has ever smoked. As you may remember from reading the interview with Kat Mitchel in last month’s issue; she started smoking in sixth grade, currently smokes three packs of filter-less Babes ExtraSlim 150’s per day, and is perfectly healthy.
Like Kat said in her interview, “Smoking is great… …I really enjoy it. All [girls should] start smoking by the time they’re nine, [just make sure your] parents don't find out.”
Finally; the more you smoke, the more guys will be attracted to you. Once your body gets used to smoking (after a week or two of smoking every day) it becomes quite easy to double or triple the amount you smoke every couple weeks.
8. What about drinking alcohol? 🍸
Drinking alcohol is an integral part of being a teenager. The most popular girls are the ones who drink the most.
Increasing the amount you can drink is a bit tougher and takes significantly longer than increasing the amount you can smoke. For that reason you should start drinking alcohol as young as possible. Be sure to drink enough that you feel a little tipsy every day, and over time, you’ll be able to drink more before you get drunk. Make sure to test out your increasing tolerance to alcohol by getting drunk at least twice a month with your friends.
Hangovers suck, but they are an important part of drinking alcohol. Every time you get a hangover you have succeeded in increasing the amount of alcohol you can consume. So, you should want to have a hangover at least once a week.
Don’t worry if you puke every so often: it’s just a normal part of growing up.
9. How do I get a killer tan real fast?
Spend plenty of time in the sun: at least six hours per day.
But isn’t there a faster way?
Yes, there is a faster way to get a killer tan. There are a number of commercially available products that will help you get a great tan fast. You want to use tanning oil, which focuses the sun’s rays into your skin speeding up the tanning process; as opposed to tanning lotion, which slows the tanning process. Make sure to follow the manufacturer’s directions and use it every day for a week, being sure to spend at least five hours per day in the sun; you’ll have a killer tan in no time. Don’t worry if you get a sunburn in the first few days: simply continue using the tanning oil and spending time in the sun: everything will work out fine. Be sure to use the tanning oil on your lips as well: if you don’t your lips will be paler than the rest of your skin…
I hope these health tips help you to have a great summer, and that you young ladies grow into real teen sexpots. I know if you follow my simple advice, you can do it.
Have a good time, girls!
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