Tween Magazine
Reader Suggestions
by ‘this guy’
Once again Lita Luvor has sorted through all of the suggestions and tips readers of Tween Magazine have sent in for the best ideas.
---"If you have sex with a guy in your bed make sure he shoots in you; if he doesn't you'll have a sticky mess on the sheets to deal with." Tina hit the nail right on the head with this one: the stuff that shoots out of guys during sex can make a huge mess. Obviously you have to contain the stuff: the easiest and most effective way to do that is to simply have the guy shoot in you.
---"I always hated having such a flat chest, so I went to a ‘Dr. Steve's Pumping Party.’ When I got to the party I was an ‘A’ cup, when I left I was a ‘C’ cup. I only intended to have silicone injections in my boobs. I was surprised when I saw other girls and women were getting silicone injections in their butt cheeks; but when I saw how they went from having flat butts to bubble-butts I knew they were on to something." Michi is really on to something here: silicone injections are much faster, less invasive, and cheaper than implants; but more importantly they don't leave tell-tale scars.
---"Inhaling hairspray will give you a great buzz, but it makes your mouth all sticky. Drinking a glass of vodka right after inhaling the hairspray will not only keep your mouth from getting sticky, but will also enhance the buzz." Bekki correctly reminds us that alcohol works well as both a cleansing agent and an amplifier of enjoyment.
---"Everybody knows that wearing pantyhose will keep their legs warm when wearing a skirt or dress during cold weather. Everybody also knows that wearing pantyhose makes it a lot harder to use the bathroom. This past winter I tried crotch-less pantyhose: even in the subzero temperatures of Polagrad [the town is 35 miles north of the Arctic Circle] winter my legs were nice and warm and I didn't have to get undressed to use the bathroom." Karina is introducing a new generation to old knowledge. While most tweenagers don't know about crotch-less pantyhose, women whose jobs require them to wear stockings have been doing this for years. I, for one, pity those women (lawyers, executives, politicians, etc.); and thank god I earn minimum wage for the six hours a week I work reviewing the suggestions of tweenage girls!
---"Initially when I started smoking every day, last year, I was afraid my little sister would catch me smoking and tell our parents. My friend suggested that she couldn't tell on me if she smoked too. So when my little sister caught me smoking I tied her to a chair and made her smoke an entire pack of cigarettes. Not only did my little sister NOT tell on me, she started smoking AND introduced several of her friends to the joys of smoking!" Danah was protecting herself using the most effective form of "pesky little brother / sister" control there is: you tell on me, I tell on you."
---"When I found out I was pregnant four months ago I was pissed. Then I realized that being pregnant meant I'd get to have a really cute baby in a few months: it's gonna be great, all my friends are gonna be so jealous... More importantly, since I already am pregnant, I don't have to worry about getting pregnant anymore: now I get to have consequence free sex with as many guys as I can find!" Mia has discovered the only 100% completely and totally foolproof form of birth control: already being pregnant.
---"Pill Parties are awesome! Swallowing a handful of random pills followed by a glass of gin was the greatest thing I've ever done in my life: all the cool colors I got to see and feeling like my body was weightless... I wish I hadn't waited until I was ten to try it." Caroline reminds us the amazing effects a mixture of medications can have on the body.
A Tween reader survey: I Have... I Will!
