Tween Magazine
Ima Skinn-Nea's Fitness Advice
by ‘this guy’
Every girl wants to stay thin. While it is important to avoid over-eating, burning the calories you consume is just as important. So we at Tween Magazine asked female fitness guru Ima Skinn-Nea to compose a list of fun activities that will help a tweenage girl stay thin.
Fitness activities are divided into three categories: cardio, strength training, and finally body sculpting.
CARDIO
Typically cardio includes walking, running, cycling, climbing stairs, cross-country skiing… These are easy activities to do; the key is to make them fun. A few tips to try:
Don’t wear a bra if you are running, jogging, or stair stepping: bouncing boobs will improve your workout.
Wear all the jewelry you own: the extra weight will give you a better workout.
Be sure to wear bottoms that cradle your butt without underwear
Make sure to avoid drinking too much water: no need to get all sweaty and gross.
STRENGTH TRAINING
Typically involves weights or resistance bands…
Try to lift as much weight as you possibly can. If somebody tells you its too heavy, tell them to go to hell…
Always lift with your back: You don’t want to hurt your knees.
BODY SCULPTING
Specific movement aimed at adjusting the shape of your body…
Even if you decide not to do any cardio or strength training (they are hard work after all), be sure to do plenty of body sculpting: guys notice a properly sculpted butt and legs…
Toe raises and pelvic thrusts are the most important activities you can do as they sculpt your legs and butt.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Be sure to dress sexy when you work out: you never know what kind of studly guys you might meet at the gym… Ima Skinn-Nea’s always wears a skin-tight long-sleeve black latex body-stocking; and a pair of black shoes with a six-inch stiletto heel when she works-out.
Try smoking while you work-out: the appetite suppressant aspects of nicotine will keep you from feeling hungry afterwards.
Try drinking vodka instead of water during your work-out: a buzzed work-out is a fun work-out.
Never pull your hair back in a ponytail: it's distracting and annoying having that thing flopping against your back. Instead leave your hair down; it will find the most convenient spot on your body for the particular exercise you are doing and stay put. [EDITOR'S NOTE: Loose hair is beautiful, but remember that a pony tail is sure to make guys think about oral sex. You are thoughtfully providing him a handle.]
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