Fetishdoll - Paula's Story

The Youth group rented a cabin at this national park. At first I kicked myself in the ass for even coming on this thing, but Sister Anna was very intent that I have a good time. Between Sister Anna, Matt and Sasha, I wasn't going to be able to get out of it. It was actually very cute that Matt and Sasha had been so intent on me going to this thing. Sasha had actually jumped up and down when I said I would go! Ever since the party I had spent a bunch of time with Matt and Sasha, mainly for two very selfish reasons. Matt had a basement in his parent's house that had been converted to this mini dorm room and Sasha was so amazingly cute that I couldn't stay away from her! But Sasha had shown no interest in doing anything more with me and Matt had shown nothing but interest. The problem with the latter was that Sasha was "in love" with Matt. She drooled over him like a little hungry puppy and so I did my best to avoid Matt's advances. Matt wasn't used to not getting what he wanted, but that's not to say Matt was aggressive or tried to force me, he was just a spoiled only child. So Matt had kept the pressure on these last few weeks until finally one day we were over at his place and Sasha was in class. Matt had a couch in the middle of the room that I think was at least as old as I was. The springs in the couch gave as soon as you sat on the couch and so if you were sitting close to anyone, the two of you were on top of each other. Matt was obviously used to using this to his advantage and took this opportunity to hit on me. I didn't want to do anything that day, I really just wanted to have a place to hang out were I didn't feel like there were a bunch of lesbian's giving me the evil eye. Sasha's place had become very uncomfortable and hanging out with Matt and Sasha gave me lots of time away from them. So I didn't want to kill that, I didn't want to loose the only friends I had that could give me a place away from lesbo house. So when Matt started fondling my breast while we made out on his couch, I let him do what he wanted.
This teasing and flirting and messing around went on every time poor little Sasha wasn't around. I would have preferred that it went on every time Sasha was around, but Matt seemed to enjoy doing this behind her back. As much as I hate to admit it, the danger of it, the thrill of messing around like this, made me enjoy it more. But I knew at some point I had to make Matt either bring Sasha in on it or we had to stop. Right before the retreat Matt and I were with Sasha and she was telling us that she wasn't going to be able to go to the retreat after all. Her parents wanted her home because they had some family function going on and so Matt and I were really bummed out. Sasha completed our little trio of friendship and without her, Matt and I only had sex. I realized that fact very early on and it bothered me. Matt and I weren't able to have fun unless we were making out and fucking him was something I had been trying to avoid. I felt like if I could just keep from fucking him, everything would be ok. But that didn't happen. Sasha left us to go get ready to meet her parents and Matt and I didn't wait 10 minutes before starting to feel each other up and play with each other. Then we were pulling each other's clothes off and we didn't even wait for the clothes to come completely off. Matt fucked me bent over the coffee table. He entered me from behind and fucked me. Ever since then I had been feeling horrible about it, I felt like I had crossed that invisible line of still being a decent human being. But the reality was, I had crossed that line a long time ago. I wasn't sure what I was at this point.
Being at the youth camp with Sister Anna made things better, made me feel safer. I loved Sister Anna like a mother and lusted after her like a lover. She was everything about a woman that I had ever wanted and yet I couldn't do anything but be around her, follow her around the way Sasha followed Matt around. The first day here involved lots of talks. The talks were all about peer pressure, about how to not get into drugs and about our first desires and how we shouldn't be having sex. It was horrible! I nearly screamed by the end of the day. I faked being interested as much as I could but there was a lot of pressure for me to talk and I didn't want to. The last day turned out to be the whammy!
In the morning they all wanted to take a hike in the woods. Matt, would not leave me alone. I tried to walk with the other girls, but it didn't stop him. I finally found refuge in Sister Anna but he still hung on my tail. When we all got to this creek, everyone split up and started doing different things. Sister Anna got into talking to a few of the kids about some of the plants and they started hunting for arrow heads or something lame like that.
Now, with Sasha not able to make the retreat, Matt acted like I should be all over him. But two things had happened since we got on the retreat. One was that I was with Sister Anna all day long! That was like heaven! As much as Matt was following me around, I was following her around. Being around Sister Anna made me feel bad for what I was doing to Matt and Sasha. I knew it was wrong and horrible and made me a total slut, but in my mind I guess I thought that Sasha would come around and want to join in again. But now I could see that was just an excuse and that I really needed to start to think about what I was doing.
Now with Sister Anna off talking to some of the kids, Matt caught up with me.
"God! You can't take a hint, can you?" I said to him.
"What? Why are you so pissed, I just want to talk." he said.
'Yeah right' I thought.
"Why are you so angry?" he asked.
"Who says I'm angry?" I said to him.
"Well, you act like you're angry and you don't talk to anyone."
"Maybe I just don't have anything to say, and maybe I have a reason for keeping to myself." I snidely replied.
"Matt?" I said, he looked at me, "Yeah?"
"What do I have to do to get you to go away? Blow you!?"
He looked shocked but I really just wanted him to leave. He didn't know what to say and so I rolled my eyes in frustration. We sat down on this rock at the top of a hill that overlooked the stream below and he put his arm around me.
"Would you?" he asked.
God! What a hard-on!
I sat there on the rock, looking out at the woods and listening to the stream below and thought about it. I had been kidding but now the idea suddenly seemed to make me tingle inside. The other kids were walking around, anyone could follow us up this hill at any second and catch us. The idea started to have merit, so I looked at him and said, "Pull it out."
He looked around and then unzipped and pulled his already hard cock out. I went right down on him, making him gasp as his cock slipped into my mouth. I started to move up and down as fast as I could, hoping he would cum quick. He moaned and lifted his hips into me, humping my mouth, but he didn't cum. I started to stroke him and hoped that would help. I could hear voices coming closer. He wouldn't cum. I stopped, and looked up at him.
"Come on, cum." I said and started to suck again.
I heard some voices getting even closer and I wondered if we were going to get caught. I rubbed my hand up and down his chest and stroked his cock, but he wouldn't cum.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" he said.
"Why aren't you cumming?" he just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders, "feels really good though." he replied . I was still stroking him and he was like, "Can I see you, ummm, naked?"
"What!? It's fucking cold!" He just looked at me and then his cock started to go limp a little.
"I just need to see you, then I can cum." He begged.
I pulled off my coat and my sweater and the cold air hit my body like a knife! I had long ago stopped wearing a bra in favor of a little tight Tee. So I slipped this over my head and his eyes lit up as he looked at my little tits. I had to bring my arms in as a cold breeze passed through the trees and froze my skin.
"All the way, please?" He begged again.
"You take your fucking pants off! It's cold!" I almost yelled.
"Ok" was his only reply and he quickly pulled his pants down around his ankles.
I couldn't help it but he was looking at me, expecting me to do it and a part of me wanted to. I wanted to be completely naked out here in the woods. The cold on my body and the thrill of getting caught! I pulled down my jeans and panties and kicked off my boots. I was almost totally nude. Nothing now but socks stood between me and the cold. I shivered as the cold wind hit me but yet my pussy was warm, starting to get ready.
I didn't ask, I didn't care what Matt said. I straddled his cock and lowered myself onto him. Instantly the cold started to feel good as my body heated up. I started to rock on him, I was totally nude now and I wanted, actually WANTED someone to catch us! The thought of this, the thrill of being out here, pure little virgins all around and I was ready to cum. Matt had obviously been closer than he thought because he pressed into me and spurted his cum deep into my pussy. I felt it way up inside as I started, the base of his cock rubbing my clit. We both rocked our bodies into the orgasm and then I fell onto him, hugging in tight as the cold bit into me.
"Holy fuck! It's cold as hell!" I complained as I quickly got my clothes back on. I was pulling my sweater up when one of the girls came over the top of the hill.
"W...what the hell?" she asked.
Matt looked shocked and quickly looked to me for help. I just smiled and finished putting my sweater on. I could now feel Matt's cum slipping down, getting ready to run out of my pussy into my underwear. Messy.
"Were...like, were you guys? I mean...you were, weren't you?" She asked.
"What?" I replied and looked at her, not backing down.
"Oh nothing...nothing at all." She said with a smug grin on her face. The other people came up the hill and she whispered to another girl. That girl whispered to the guy next to her and he said, "So, you guys still doing that stuff huh?"
"I don't know what you are talking about." I said and walked down the hill. Matt stood there for a moment and then came after me.
"They totally know! We are screwed!" Matt whimpered behind me.
I just kept walking back to the cabins. I really didn't give a shit. So far I had been bored out of my fucking mind and so if everyone wanted to talk shit about me, that was their business, but I really didn't care anymore.

Later on back in the cabin, we got into this talk about family. Conversations moved around from person to person and I noticed that everyone seemed really into getting each other to "let it all out". Several people started crying because they had a fight with Mom or Dad about who gets to drive the car or who left the dirty dishes out. It was all really pathetic and I was dying to get the fuck out of this place, but there was Sister Anna...looking at me, smiling. I sat and listened.
Seems Christians are really big into getting you to expose all your pathetic moans and groans. Actually this whole retreat was an exercise in getting everyone as emotionally weak as possible and then building everyone back up again, all in the name of Jesus. The really sad part is, it works! These people buy into it hook, line and sinker! As the "sharing" made it's way around to me, I was like, "No way, I'll pass."
They were all like, "Come on, just tell us about your family."
"Ummm...I said skip." But they wouldn't let up. It almost became the evening's big thing for me to talk. Several comments were made that I hadn't talked the whole trip and then someone said that I was too busy doing other things. I gave the girl who said it a glaring look but she just smiled at me with a prissy, holier than thou look on her face.
"Well, why don't you just tell us about where you grew up Paula?" Sister Anna asked.
"All right! You want to know about my family? I'll tell you..."
"I've listened to you guys and you have been pestering me, so here it is!"
Sister Anna tried to get me to stop, but I was furious, "My father is a paycheck that comes once a month. My Mother is a alcoholic, chain smoking, probable junky and God knows what else! I don't have any brothers or sisters and I spent most of my childhood alone in my room reading. But my Mom didn't really start to ignore me until after I spent a year in an orphanage and foster homes because "someone" found out that I had been molested for three years by my mother's boyfriend/alcoholic/drug dealer!..."
Sister Anna stood up and tried to calm me down and get me to go in another room.
"...NO! You wanted to know! You pushed and pushed...well here it is!" my voice was starting to choke up and I knew I needed to get it out, "But that isn't the worst part, the worst part is that when they decided that she was innocent because I said that she wasn't involved, they sent me back to her. I was fucking overjoyed! I was so Goddamn happy to see my Mom! But you know what she did? DO YOU!?..."
Sister Anna stood beside me and she tried to pull me away by my arms.
"NO! LET ME TALK!" I pulled away from her, tears streaming down my face.
"She blamed me! Can you believe that shit?! Me! I was only a little kid! How the fuck was I to blame!? But noooo...so now she's off to the beach, off to the country, off to this and off to that and leave little Paula, the slut, at home. So you want to know what I did most of my childhood? I spent most of it alone, trying to figure out something to do to pass the weekends and the time when my Mom wasn't around. But...b... " but at this point the crying took over. I wanted to tell them more, but I couldn't. Sister Anna pulled me away.

"I'm sorry." Sister Anna said.
"About?" I asked.
"Well, I didn't realize that things were that hard at home. And...well..."
"Don't be sorry, I'm not sorry."
Sister Anna just looked at me and then asked, "Well why are you crying?"
"I don't know, because...because things are just so fucked up! You know? I mean I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so alone, I'm so God damn alone!"
Sister Anna hugged me and held me close to her. But there was anger mixed in with my tears. I had been dealing with this shit for years. Everyone always says they are sorry but when it comes down to it, it's just you who has to deal. It's not anyone else's problem. I didn't care that my Mom was gone, I didn't care that her boyfriend had raped me over and over again when I was a little girl. I didn't care about any of that shit. I didn't care about being here or if there was a God. I just wanted to go home.
"Can I just leave?" I asked.
"Sure, I'll take you home." She said.
"I don't have a home. I just need to get out of here, away from everyone in that room." I said looking at the closed door, imagining a room full of people all quiet and listening at the door. Waiting for me to come back out so they could stare at me, point and whisper that no wonder I was such a slut. This explains it all, they would say. But it doesn't explain it all. There is so much more that they don't know, that no one knows.
"Well, you can come home with me." Sister Anna said.
"Really?" I looked star struck I'm sure. But the idea of being with Anna, in her house, maybe even sleeping in her bed. I felt good. I felt better.
"Just wait here and I'll tell the other Adults that we are leaving. Don't worry Paula, everyone here is a good person and they understand and I think you are right to want some time to yourself."

It wasn't a long drive back to the Nun's house but it was a long conversation to convince Sister Anna to let me stay with her. Technically she wasn't allowed or maybe it just wasn't smiled upon for her to have young girls sleeping at the Nun's house, but she told me that tomorrow she was going to have to look into getting me home. I was scared about what that meant, terrified of never seeing Sister Anna again and excited about being alone with her.
She brought out a blanket and a more comfortable pillow for me to sleep on the couch. One of the other Nun's was at the retreat and the older Nun had been staying with other people, as her health wasn't allowing her to stay by herself. It was just Sister Anna and I and I could tell this was making Sister Anna uncomfortable. While Sister Anna was in her bedroom, doing whatever before going to bed, I took off my clothes and walked around the living room looking at all the stuff. When Sister Anna came out and saw me standing by the painting in front of a small wall knickknack shelf, she nearly freaked! We looked at each other for a long moment and I think I was just as shocked as she was by what I saw. Standing in the doorway to the living room, was Sister Anna with her hair let down. Beautiful red-blond locks that fell in gentle curls across her face and shoulders. She wore a long white nightgown that covered her from shoulders to ankles, yet the living room was dark. Only the moonlight had been poring in through the large open window by the front door. When Sister Anna had come out of her bedroom, the light from her room had spilled into the hall and put Sister Anna in sharp relief. Her nude body, under the thin white nightgown was perfectly outlined. I could see the curves of a goddess under that sheer cotton dress. The curve of her hips flowed like a perfect half arch into the most petite waist you've ever seen! I could only imagine the genetics, the bringing together of perfection that had to go into making such a body. But above the little tiny waist of this Venus, were the curves of her large breasts. I could see them despite the fact that she had her arms down by her sides. All this lasted only a moment, only the brief second that we both stood in shock at the other one's body and then she moved into the living room and avoided looking at me. At first I felt some shame for being nude in front of her. I felt like I was doing something wrong by being here. But then it hit me that why should I feel bad that I'm nude and she is uncomfortable? Why was she uncomfortable? After all I'm another woman and she is around women all the time. I couldn't possibly believe that she had never seen any of them nude before now! I stood closer to her as she made the couch up for me to sleep in. Sister Anna moved her arm just enough to spread the sheets out, but not enough to touch me. That's when I knew it. I knew she wanted to touch me but was trying to keep it all under control. So I moved closer.
Sister Anna didn't move as my body pressed into her's. I was leaning over her from behind, my head resting on her shoulder and looking down at the bed. She turned her head slightly and then started to move her body to turn toward me. I stepped back so she could stand up and face me. She didn't say a word, just turned toward me and her hand came up and touched my cheek. I closed my eyes and pressed my cheek into her soft hand. When I opened my eyes and gazed into her deep green dreamlike eyes, I was lost in love. Sister Anna stood a few inches taller than me and now her other hand came up to my face, cradling my head in her hands and I felt like the floor had slipped out from under me. Sister Anna was so much older than me, so much like a mother, so much the mother I had always wanted but never had. I let my body slip up to hers and my arms went around that impossibly thin waist of her's. Her arms slipped around my neck and we held each other.
When she started to relax her hold on me I felt as if the world were ugly, hard and cruel and only holding onto Sister Anna would make it safe again. I held her tighter but then relaxed as well, knowing that we couldn't stay like this forever but wishing it all the same. Sister Anna now looked at me a little more like a Mother would look at her daughter and she leaned her head down to kiss me goodnight. I could tell from the way she leaned in that she intended it to be a quick peck but when her lips touched my cheek, I moved my face over so that my lips were close to hers. She froze in the moment, her mouth closed and not moving, my lips slightly parted and my breath heavy now. I was having a hard time actually keeping myself breathing as my lips moved slowly over to her's. I felt the soft full lips that I had been so longing to kiss touch mine and I kissed her passionately. She didn't respond but held me and let me kiss her stiff but full lips. Then her mouth opened a little and she returned the kiss. I pressed my tongue into her mouth and this released a flood gate of desire. Her hands were in my hair and pressing me into her and I was pulling her closer, my hands all over her body as we kissed. I could barely feel the room, feel my own body as her tongue moved around in my mouth and her breaths were hot on my lips. My hands pulled at her nightgown, pulled and pulled until I could feel more and more bare flesh. I continued to pull as we kissed until I could feel her bare hips against my body and the press of her furry pubic hair only inches above where my pubic hair should have been, if I had any. My hands went under the cloth and around her waist and pulled her body to mine. The feel of her naked skin, her soft pubic hairs brushing my lower stomach sent me well beyond ever letting this end. I was in heaven, I was in love and I didn't want this to end. I was terrified to let my hands wander down to that perfect ass because I was afraid that any sexual contact would make her freak out and stop this. I wanted the nightgown off her body, I wanted to feel her body and mine together, her breasts against mine, her legs wrapped around me, pulling my crotch into her's. I lifted the nightgown higher up and this stopped Sister Anna. She broke from the kiss and pushed the nightgown back down. It fell back to her ankles and I stood there in tears, tears of joy and love flowed across my cheeks and I looked my beloved in face and said, "I love you."
Sister Anna just looked at me and didn't say a word. She was in shock, this was obvious and I could see her round, deep ocean green eyes were getting ready to cry.
"No...please. I love you so much. Please." I begged. I felt like all I could do was beg. If Sister Anna rejected me now, I would die. I knew it. I would die!
"I...I can't do this." Sister Anna pleaded. She sounded like a child, no longer the strong mother figure that I had believed unbreakable. This show of weakness and frailty made me love her more.
"Yes! Yes you can." I begged.
"No Paula, my love, I can't do this." But she didn't sound like she was convinced and despite that, she had called me her love! She called me her LOVE! The tears pored from my face and I could hear my whimpering cries as I looked at her and reached out to her. She pulled me close again and held me.
"Then please, please don't leave me alone tonight. Please let me stay with you, hold you." I begged again.
Sister Anna didn't say a word but brought me to her bed room. The bed was small, a single pushed back in the corner of the small and sparse living area of a Nun. A single nightstand beside the bed held her bible and her candles and an alarm clock. We crawled into bed and I put my arms and legs around her, curled into her like a little child. I held on tight because I knew that the evil sun would bring the end of my heaven. I didn't try to kiss her again or anything of the sort. I was happy to hold her, to have my body entwined in her's and to be in love with her.