Fetishdoll - Paula's Story

Karen's little home looked so nice when we got back. Karen and I didn't talk much, but I figured that she would get over it. I playfully plopped on the couch in her living room but she didn't pay any attention. She went into her kitchen, opened the fridge and her face was hidden from me. I kneeled on the couch waiting for what she would do next. The door to the fridge stayed open too long, I knew something was seriously wrong. In fact I had known it for several days now.
Karen had taken off the night of the bondage thing with Meredith. I stayed with Meredith for another day and she even took me to see Tina! I had just about given up on Karen and was making arrangements to stay with Tina for a few weeks until I could work something out when Karen showed up. She said that it was time to go home and so we drove home. I talked the entire way home! I was literally buzzing after seeing Tina! But Karen hardly spoke a word.
Karen closed the door to the fridge and left the apartment.

When Karen came back she told me we were going to church! I wasn't even really aware that Karen was a Catholic, but after our trip, she really wanted me to go to church with her. She said it didn't have anything to do with "saving my soul". She just felt like I might like it. I think her exact words were, "You never know, it may change your life."

Walking up to the big doors I was actually afraid! What a freak I was! Would I catch on fire or people come running at me with crosses? We got to the doors and I walked in. I was sweating like a pig! Why was I so nervous? What are these people? They don't have any power over me! I don't believe in their god, why should I care?
But when I walked in and no one seemed to care. I think I was a little disappointed. But even when people did finally come to speak to Karen and glance at me...God! I fucking hated the feeling of being there! I was like being put on display for people and instantly I started to get pissed that I had ever come back home with Karen!
The "mass" started and we kneeled and stood, then sat, then kneeled, then stood, then sat, then stood, then sat, then they all went up to eat Jesus or something. After the priest and the little alter boys walked down the middle of the church, I nearly ran out the door! People piled in the aisle and I had to wait for them to move before I could get outside.
When we got outside I was ready to jump in the car and head outta there! But Karen had to go and throw a whammy on me.
"I'm going to confession."
"What?! What do you have to confess?" I was nearly pleading. She raised her eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes back at her.
"You know, sometimes I really think you are a child." She blurted out, "Listen, you don't have to go. Just stay here and I'll be back soon."
"Hell no!" I said, a little too loudly. Some old people turned and scowled, I stuck my tongue out at them. Karen didn't even bat an eye, "Here's the keys, go wait in the car or outside or whatever, but I have to do this and I hoped you would be more supportive."
"Supportive!? Why am I supposed to be supportive of you telling some sexually repressed man in a dress about our private business?!"
This really pissed her off and she stormed off! Several people where looking at me and I just stomped away from the front of the church pissed off. Standing out front I felt like everyone was looking at me. Like I was this little devil-child that they were all supposed to stare and gawk at. I looked away from all of them and out to the street. I was muttering something under my breath when I heard, "Are you ok?"
"What?!" I whirled around to see a beautiful woman dressed in a simple brown dress and her hair pulled back and put up.
"Sounds like you where pretty angry back there, something you want to talk about?" She said, smiling.
"Nothing you would be interested in."
"Oh, you might be surprised what I'm interested in." She said sweetly.
I raised an eyebrow at her but something about the way her eyes cut into me made it difficult for me to be angry.
"Listen, we have some food out back and you are more than welcome to come and talk, or whatever." She smiled again. She was radiantly beautiful and her smile was so sweet.
I just stood there, defiantly.
"Or you can stand here..." she said as she walked away from me. She turned her head a little, not really looking at me and said, "If you change your mind, come on back."
She walked across the field to the little building out back. I stood there a little while, thinking. I decided to go look for Karen, see if I could get out of there. But the whole time the woman who spoke to me kept filling my mind. When I got inside the front doors I saw these little wooden doors. I knocked on one of the little doors and nobody answered. I knocked on the other one and this little worm of a man popped out and looked at me.
"Excuse me?!" he said with his little snappy tone.
"Yeah, whatever...listen, have you seen Karen?" I asked.
His face went red and he acted like I was a bug in his cornflakes, "Young lady, this is a confessional and you are disturbing the holy sacrament. Are your parents around? I suggest you find them and learn how to behave yourself."
"Yes Ma'am." I said and walked away.
I finally found Karen back in the actual church, kneeling and praying. I can respect other people's religious beliefs (no, really...seriously) and especially Karen's, so I just walked out one of the side doors of the church and found myself on a walkway to another building. I went inside and soon I found myself in a room full of other people. They were all laughing and talking. Then I saw the woman who had spoke to me earlier. I tried not to look at her but she saw me.
"Oh, I'm glad you found us."
I didn't have the heart to tell her I walked in by accident. She introduced me to some younger people and we spoke a little. They were all very nice, but I wasn't in the mood to be social. Karen walked into the room and started to talk with everyone. The mystery woman found some other people to talk to and left me alone with Karen and these other kids. Apparently Karen was a teacher in their class and they all wanted to know where I went to school, etc. I came so close to telling them I was Karen's lover, but something about the moment made me stop. At the time I thought I was being nice to Karen, but now I know what it really was.

"Did you know that woman was flirting with me today?" I said, trying to make Karen a little jealous. We were sitting on her couch back at her place. Now that Karen had been to church she was being much nicer to me, but still ignoring me a little.
"What woman?" she said, sounding jealous.
"That woman outside the church, you know? With the reddish hair?"
"You mean the woman leading the youth group?" Karen said, sounding a little too elated. "Ummmm...yeah." I said, getting a little annoyed. Karen had that attitude of someone who knows something and now thinks you are stupid. I watched her smirk until I couldn't take it anymore, "What?!" I said, starting to laugh a little, but not that I knew what the fuck was going on! She just started to laugh.
"What! Geeesshhh! You are such a geek!" I said, getting really pissed that she wouldn't stop laughing.
"That woman wasn't flirting with you." Karen said with this 'miss know-it-all' tone.
"How the fuck would you know? She was looking me over, I could tell."
This made Karen laugh even harder.
"That woman wasn't a woman, she's a Nun." Karen said, like I was supposed to be all shocked and shit.
"So?" I said.
"So?" She said, looking at me like I was crazy, "so, she's a nun! She doesn't have sex." She said all matter of factly.
"So..." I said with a snide-ass tone, "...so that doesn't mean she doesn't think about it. Not having sex isn't natural."
Karen laughed. "Just because you can't go for ten seconds without getting horny, doesn't mean the rest of the world shares your over-active libido."
"Are you calling me a slut!?"
Karen just smirked some more and pretended not to hear me.
"You are! You BITCH!!" I said and jumped on top of her. I tried to pin her, but she is much stronger and much faster and she had me down and on the floor in seconds. Her face millimeters from mine. I leaned in and tried to kiss her, but she pulled away.
"Say you love me." she said.
"what?" I said, pretending not to hear her.
"You heard me, say you love me." She was serious, and it wasn't just words to her.
"You know I do, now come here and let me lick that pussy."
"No..." she looked pissed, "...you don't do you?"
"Karen..." but she stopped me and she got off me. Still all I could do was look at her perfect ass and think how much I wanted it on my face.
"Karen...come on..." I said again, but she turned on me, eyes flaring and wet with tears. She opened the door, "Get out!" she said.
"What?" I looked at her, hurt.
"You heard me, get out."
"What? Like out of this room or like out of your apartment?"
"I don't care as long as I can't see you for a little while."
This made me angry, I grabbed my clothes and stormed out the door!
"Fine!" I said.
She slammed her bedroom door.
"Whatever!" I yelled, she didn't respond.
I rushed out the door, slamming it behind me. I walked down the little drive and into the parking lot. I started walking across the lot and tears flowed from my eyes. I started to get to this point were I was ready to leave, to go home, or to Tina's or somewhere. Actually, I really just wanted to find a nice hole and crawl into it.
"Paula!" I heard Karen call. I stopped and my heart raced, then I turned around. Karen was crying and she ran up to me and we hugged. I held her tight and great heaving sobs escaped me. It wasn't until I was out in that parking lot that the loneliness, the years and years of not being wanted by anyone suddenly caught up with me. I'm not sure what I would have done if she hadn't called me back. So I held her and held her and never wanted to let go.
"I do love you. I do!" I cried.
"I know Paula." She said, stroking my hair and looking into my eyes, "I know."

"I'm just saying, you are going to have to take care of your own around here!" Karen yelled. I looked at her defiantly and smirked because I knew she hated it.
"I already have a job Karen." The last part came out like a little kid but I didn't care.
"Oh? Well why didn't you tell me?" Karen said from behind a fake smile that was meant to hide her obvious rage. "All you had to do was let me know you had found something and we could have ended this argument."
I just ran my finger down the top of the kitchen counter and then across the books sitting at the end and looked over my shoulder at Karen and said, "I'm going over to Sil's house."
"Who is Sil? Is that short for something? Is it a guy or a girl?"
"God! Listen to you, you sound like my fucking Mom."
" Maybe I have to! You don't make it easy for me these days Paula. It's like you just don't care about anything but yourself." Karen pleaded. I could tell she was upset but I just didn't want to listen to this crap. So I walked out the door and just said, "bye".

Sil was a dyke's dyke. She always dressed the part, walked the part and talked the part. Sil may have been short for Silvia or it may have been short for something else or the rumor was that she ripped it off from that Movie about that alien chick who fucks men and then kills them. Whatever the case, she was an attractive girl with very large breasts. She always wore a guy's shirt to cover them. This only made her look kinda fat but that wasn't the case at all. She did have very round hips as well but once again she covered those with guy's jeans. She always wore Dr. Martin's boots and she never wore make-up. When we first met, we didn't get along because she said I was a fluff chick and she told me to piss off. But after talking to one of her friends for a while she finally warmed up to me. Now we had become good friends and I hung out with her gang all the time. She was the one that got me the job at the Natural Foods store. Lately she had been bugging me to live in the house her and some other girls lived in. I was thinking that it might not be a bad idea.
The house they lived in was within walking distance from Karen's place. They lived near the downtown area, near the university. The house was one of those really old houses that they only get away with renting to college students. The porch kinda leaned a little to one side and the paint was about a 100 years old but of course everyone thought it was cool. The doorbell didn't work so I had to knock.
Sil answered as I knew she would, she was more of a home body than the other girls living there.
"Paula! Bout damn time you got here! I have good news! There is this really fucking cool party going on tonight and you are coming."
"Very cool! I'm there Sil! What do you want to do til then?"
"Let's go to the art school and check out some of Rachelle's work."
"Very cool."

I was all jazzed about the party and Rachelle let me borrow some of her clothes so that I would look cool. I hadn't been able to buy much of anything since coming up here so I was excited to finally have some cool clothes again.
I called Karen to let her know I wouldn't be home tonight and I totally didn't expect what she ended up saying.
"Well damn, I was really hoping you would come to the CYO party tonight. Paula, I already told everyone you would be there."
"What did you do that for?"
"Listen, it's going to be an early party, maybe you can cut out and go to your little friends party after?"
"Whatever Karen, that's not going to happen."
There was silence for some time and I was furious! Karen had started to control my life! It was worse than being back home again! Then finally she said, "Ok, well I'll tell Sister Anna that you aren't coming."
I paused and then asked, "Is she going to be there?"
"What?" Karen asked obviously seeing that I was suddenly interested.
"Well, it's just been a while since I've seen her and, well, is she going to be there?"
"God Paula, you are so pathetic. She is a Nun!"
"What? I know that!" I said defensively. Karen and I just looked at each other for a while and then Karen said, "Well after this party I want you out of here."
" What? Why?!" I screamed.
"Because I've had it! You go out with these new friends of yours all the time! You come home late at night! Most of the time you are drunk or high and don't try to tell me you aren't! You aren't old enough to drink, hell, you aren't even old enough to fucking be living with me!" Then Karen started to cry.
I could see she was in pain, but I couldn't bring myself to go to her. I wanted to hold her, tell her that it was going to be ok, but I knew she was right. I had been blowing her off more and more lately. Maybe it was best if I did just leave.
"Fine, I'll see you at the party."
"I'm not going"
"Fine!"
"Fine!" Karen spat. Then I walked out the door.