FeTishDoLL - The story of Paula

Part 30 - Coming Out of the Closet

Later I found myself marching down the street with a huge group of lesbians and gays. I was right in the middle of this huge Gay and Lesbian demonstration. We marched and marched until we came to this big downtown area.

Trying to take advantage of the people who were being so nice to me, I started asking people for money to get some food. Soon I found myself fighting with this big butch dyke about if I was a real poor kid or a rich brat out to hustle a few bucks. Of course my temper got the best of me and before I even knew it the words are coming out of my mouth and I'm telling this big dyke to go fuck herself! Of course she didn't like that very much and she tells me to get the hell outta here and starts coming at me. Her friends start to try to get in her way, but you can just tell this girl isn't the kind of motorcycle dyke that is used to people getting in her way. She just shoves past them and completely knocks me to the ground. Oh my GOD, I'm like blown away! Stunned! I just sat there on the ground like an idiot and watched her smirk, then someone is taking my hand, picking me up. At first I don't even know who it is. I can feel the unmistakable sting of tears and I am afraid to look at the person helping me.
"Paula?" this person asks.
I look up, expecting...hoping...to see someone I know. Even though it was a bright, sunny day, I was in this nightmare. I was hungry, dirty, and completely lost. Lost in a way that you can only be when you've gone so far down that path of despair that the only way to get back out is to give yourself up to hell. I was ready to do that and kept hoping that someone would save me. So when I heard my name I nearly lost it, I nearly turned to hug the person who knew me! But it wasn't who I expected.
"Holy shit! Wha...what are you doing here?" I asked rudely. The lady cop who had picked me up on the street stood there kinda laughing at me and answered, "Well, I was going to ask you the same thing."
For some reason we both just started laughing. I think I needed to laugh, I needed it so bad my body rippled with the laughter.
"We seem to have a habit of running into each other. Are you trying to tell me something?" She asked.
"God, I wish I knew what the hell I am doing. Did you just see what happened? I'm like a psycho magnet, you may not want to get too close."
"Did you know that woman?" The lady cop asked. I was going to answer her but I noticed that she was in her uniform. She wasn't here for the parade, she wasn't a dyke I guess. She was being a cop, doing cop stuff.
"No, I don't know her. She just didn't like me being here I guess." It was a lame answer and I could see by the downturned corner of her mouth that she didn't think it was very good either.
"You know?" She asked, starting to tell me something, "you look like you need a good meal and someone to talk to."
I could have kissed her!
"Think you can hang here until 4 and then I'll come by and pick you up?"
"Yeah...sure. I mean, where are you going to take me?" I asked, not really trusting her. I mean, after all, she is a cop.
"Where ever you want to go."

At dinner I started to get food into me and it's like everything in my head just started to spill out. The little restaurant was perfect for me to talk without feeling like everyone in the world was listening. The ceilings were tall, the tables spread out and the noise level steady and heavy enough for you not to be able to hear any particular conversation. So I told her everything, well everything that I felt comfortable telling her. I don't know if she believed me or not, but she had this look on her face like she was going to cry. I couldn't understand how in the hell she could ever be a cop. But I think I could tell she was a good person and that was enough for me to just spill my guts.
"Listen Paula, I don't want you on the streets tonight. I doubt this is very smart of me, but I'm going to offer for you to come to my place and sleep. I'm not sure what we are going to do next, but after a good nights sleep you can tell me what YOU want to do. Does that sound like a good idea?"
Was she kidding? I started crying. I mean weeping right there and she came over and put her arm around me and held me close. I buried my head into her shoulders and let the tears flow. She looked at me and brushed a few strands of hair out of my eyes and asked, "So is that a yes?"
"Oh God yes! Are you kidding me?!" I smiled back into her eyes and at that moment she looked like the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

She lived in a small apartment right outside of town. Her cop car was parked in the parking lot and she went to it to take some things out before we headed inside. The inside of her apartment was very cute, very homey. She had the typical rented apartment rug but she had decorated the place with comfortable furniture and there was a dining table in the kitchen area, little spices on the bar that separated the kitchen from the living room. She had a little cross-stitch framed picture that had a small house and the words, 'Home is where the heart is' written above it. Lots of pictures of what was probably her family hung around the room and she had the potpourri bowl in the middle of the coffee table. She was everything that no one I knew was, she was domesticated.

"Listen, if you want to take a shower there are towels in the closet and washcloths."
"Man!! I could fucking die for a shower now!" I nearly ran for the bathroom. Her bathroom was set up like you see in good housekeeping. She had the little soaps on the counter and matching decorative towels on the rail and a cover for the toilet with matching rug. I kicked off the flip flops and peeled off the shorts and shirt. I quickly turned on the water and as soon as it was close to being hot enough, I slipped under.
The shower was clean and the water felt amazing! It felt like years of grime were coming off.
After an amazing shower, the last thing I wanted to do was put those clothes back on. Instead I wrapped her big fuzzy towel around me and I kicked the clothes in the corner. I longed for a toothbrush and for a moment I seriously thought about using hers, but decided that was way too crude. I took a little tooth paste and put it on my finger then rubbed it hard over my teeth. It didn't really get rid of that fuzzy feeling that had been growing, but it helped. Then I went back into the living room.
"Feel better?" Karen asked.
"God Karen, you don't even know! I don't know how I'm going to be able to pay you back for all this, but I'm totally in your debt."
"Listen Paula, I'm just happy to know that you aren't going to be out on some street or back with those people again. I wish you had said something at the station, we could have made sure that you got put with someone who could get you home." then she paused for a minute and tried to recover, "or...you know...with a real friend."
"Well, I thought Desire was a real friend. I thought she would help me out. Damn, you just have to be careful, you know?" As I answered her, I could see that she was avoiding looking at me. I guess it was odd for me to be coming out in only a towel, but I wasn't really worried. Plus sleep was starting to kick in, it was like I was there, but not there.
"Thanks for the date." I said.
"Date? What are you talking about, "Date"." She said defensively. There was even a little tone of anger in her voice.
"It wasn't a date? And here I was thinking you were cute too." I pushed and before she could even answer, I was lying on the couch, going to sleep. I barely remember the feeling of cold as she took the towel off me. For a moment my brain got more alert and I half expected her to start to fondle me or do something to me. But instead I felt a soft blanket fall over me and I was asleep.

I wake up the next morning to Karen getting ready for work. She looks down at me when she sees me starting to stir and she whispers, "Paula, I'm sorry but I have to go to work. So feel free to help yourself to anything in the fridge and I'm going to be crazy and trust you to not take off."
"Hmmm...I'm not going anywhere." I whisper back.
"Good, because we need to figure out what we are going to do."
Then my eyes adjust and I see her standing there, staring at me. The blanket has fallen down around my hips and my body is half exposed. I can't tell, but my instinct says she is checking me out! So I yawn and stretch, giving her a better view. She turns quickly and grabs her stuff off the table.
"Be good." She says softly, then the door shuts.

Later I am still not about to put back on those clothes and so I sit naked and watch TV for a while. I get bored and hungry so I go find something to eat. After eating a bowl of cereal and watching some stupid game shows, I start to explore a little. There isn't much to see in her living room, nothing much to get into so I find myself going to her bedroom. In her bedroom the light is very dim, the curtains over the windows blocking out much of the light and creating a soft light about the room. Her bed is made and beside the bed is a round bedside table. On the table she has some typical things like tissues and a picture frame and lipstick. I open the drawer and more typical things. I then go over to her vanity and start to poke around through her stuff. I open her drawers there too and start to go through her clothes, looking for something to put on. All her panties are wadded up in one drawer, her bras in another and I take out a bra. I didn't even really notice, but she is a double D! I wouldn't have put her as being that big, but I think she doesn't like to show it. I look in the mirror and try on her bra. The thing nearly engulfs my entire chest! I look like a dumb school girl trying on her mother's clothes so I throw the bra back in the drawer. I take out some panties and suddenly picture her in them. I can see her pulling them up her thighs, around her hips, the fabric hugging her crotch as she pulls them up tight. For a moment I think of myself kneeling before her, my face right in front of that beautiful crotch and I start rubbing my fingers up and down my slit. I'm already wet and my fingers slide over my little pussy, spreading the lips open as I imagine pulling her panties down with my teeth. I fall onto her bed with the panties in my hand and then I bring them up to my face, breathing in her scent! My fingers are deep inside my pussy now, getting nice and wet and then I start to play with my clit. It doesn't take me long to spread my creamy wetness around my clit and get myself worked up. Then with her panties practically in my mouth, I start to cum! Mmmmmm...I can feel my whole body shake as I masturbate with her panties. I swear if she came walking in that moment I would have just attacked her.
After a few minutes of laying there with my legs spread wide and playing with myself, I got up to check out the other drawers. The bottom two drawers were larger, running the length of the vanity. So I opened them and found a shirt that looked like it would fit and threw it on the bed. Then I started looking through her jeans. None of them would fit me, so I kept moving around, going down and in the corner I found a small black box. A long box. I thought to myself, "No way!" But I knew, even before I opened it, that it was exactly what I thought it was. I pulled out a slim, plastic vibrator. But better yet was what was under the box. A stack of magazines. Not just any magazines, lesbian sex magazines!
I knew it! I fucking knew it!
I flipped through them, going through image after image of these dykes fucking each other, licking each other's pussys and tying each other up. The magazines were kinky shit. Some of them even had women being tied up and spanked and I was very turned on looking at them and thinking about Karen doing this to me! I turned on her vibrator and laid down on the bed with magazine in hand. I let the vibrator slid over my clit, teasing it, playing with myself. I started to move it around my pussy, letting my slippery juices lubricate the vibrator nicely. I dropped the magazine beside me, and put my hand to my little breast. I started to pinch my nipples hard and then I slipped the vibrator down inside me. I pushed it in as deep as it would go. The dry part of the vibrator starting to stick and so I pulled it back out, pushing it in deeper each time. My pussy quickly lubricated the vibrator so that it would move all the way inside me. The whole thing I was doing was so dirty, so wrong! Here I was in Karen's apartment, fucking myself with her vibrator and laying on her bed.
I wanted more! I wanted her to come home and walk in and fuck me. Well, be careful what you wish for, you just might get something like it, but not quite.
"What in the FUCK are you doing!!" Karen yelled from the doorway.
"Oh god! Karen!" I jumped up and nearly couldn't get the vibrator out of me.
"Give me those!" Karen jerked the magazine off the bed and then started to take the vibrator, then thought better of it and just threw the magazine down and stormed out of the room. I jumped up and ran out to her.
"Karen...wait."
Karen is sitting on the couch, obviously angry, obviously raging mad.
"Listen, I was trying to find some clothes. I mean nothing you have will fit me so I was going through your stuff...and..."
"I would hope that you could tell my clothes wouldn't fit you by looking at me. Why? I mean....what in the hell?"
"I know...I guess I just got.."
"You should just ask, you shouldn't just go through someone's stuff!." she looks at me and frowns, "Can you put some clothes on? I want to eat some lunch and you being nude makes me uncomfortable."
Geesshh! Who pissed in her cornflakes? So I get dressed in the Tee that I had put on the table and I come back out.
She makes some sandwiches and we sit eating, not talking. I look at her and she looks at me and we sit there staring at each other. After some time of this I start to feel odd, like I should do something. It's obvious she wants to do something, it's obvious she likes me. This is so stupid! So I lean over the table and I kiss her. Both of us keep our eyes open, but her's open wide. She doesn't really respond to my kiss, but she doesn't really jerk away either. So then I kiss her again, this time trying to slip my tongue through her stiffly pressed lips. Finally she gives way, letting my tongue start to explore her mouth and as she does my body instinctively presses into hers. She puts her hand up, I think only to put her hand around me but it slips under my shirt. Soon she is cupping my breast and starts to massage it a little roughly. But just as I'm starting to enjoy this, starting to feel her relax, she pushes me away.
"I have to go."
"What? What did I do?" I ask.
"Nothing...it's just...it's me. Listen, I gotta go. Don't worry, I'm not gonna kick you out, but we are going to have to find you a place to stay soon."
"Listen, Karen, let's talk about this..don't go! Wait!" but she is out the door before I can do anything to stop her.
For the longest time after she walked out I just sat there, my legs straddling her chair and my hands wringing my shirt. Her shirt. I was feeling sorry for myself again, letting myself get into shit that was way over my head. I mean what was I thinking? I had a chance to stay in Karen's apartment and already I had fucked things up! I probably needed professional help. I must me one of those pathetic nymphomaniacs that can't keep from fucking anyone who is nice to her. It's really sad, I know. But I need to get in control. I know that. So I have to calm down and I have to call Tina. That's it. It doesn't matter how stupid I look and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, I have to call Tina and find out what is going on. Maybe my Mom'll let me come back home and I can finish up school and then I'll be out of her hair. You know?
"No fucking way?" Tina yells!
"Yes way! But check this out Tina, I totally didn't even believe that she was a lesbian. So here I am with my tongue down her fucking throat and she is like going all up my shirt!"
"You are such a slut! I can't even believe it!" Tina said. But she sounded different. Almost like this was bothering her, like she didn't really want to hear it. So I changed the subject.
"So have you seen my Mom?"
"No, I haven't. My Mom tried to call her a couple of times but she hasn't returned her call. My Mom said that if we hear from you that you should call your Aunt. She said that she would let you stay with them."
"What?! No way am I staying with her and her perverted son. Oh God, that is so gross. So your Mom doesn't want me to...I mean can't I stay with you guys?"
There was silence.
"If it were up to me, you could come and live her." a long pause and I almost started to cry, "But Mom and Dad are pretty pissed that you brought the cops here and then just took off! They care about you, but you know...this was pretty big Paula."
She was talking to me like I didn't know that I had fucked up, it pissed me off. I wiped away a tear and said, "Oh, it's cool." but it wasn't.
"So what are you going to do?" Tina asked.
"I'm going to call Meredith and see if she has seen my Mom around."
"Good idea" Tina said.
"Yeah...then I guess I'll call my Mom and leave a message if she isn't there."
"Do you think that lady cop is going to kick you out?" Tina asked.
"Yeah, if not for trying to get in her pants then once she sees this phone bill." I laughed. Tina laughed back and said she better go then. I told her I loved her and she said she loved me back. It made me feel better.
Meredith was really stand off-ish on the phone. She acted like I was some stranger and she needed to go. But she did say she hadn't seen my Mom so I thanked her and we hung up without much fanfare. Then I called my Mom. I waited for the phone to pick up and prepared to be yelled at, or hung up on. But I got the answering machine. I had to call back twice before I could muster enough bravery to leave a message.
"Mom? It's Paula. I know I fucked up bad this time but I want to come home. I'm staying with this cop and so things are cool but I don't really want to be here anymore. I want to come home, I'm.....you know? I guess I'm sorry." and I hung up.

On to Part 31: A night with Karen