Sunday December 18
I'm back at my parents house for Christmas. It's awkward. Last Christmas the three of us had a big blowout. My mom moved out and asked for a divorce. My dad cut me off, so I had to drop out of college and get a job. Both of my parents started dating other people.
Thanksgiving was our first effort to get the family together again, and it went pretty well. I helped Mom cook, and we watched the parade and some movies on TV. Everyone was careful to avoid any inflammatory topics.
At dinner tonight my mom accidentally mentioned "Michael", her new "friend". My parents exchanged a looks that I wasn't supposed to understand, so I guess Dad knows about him. Whatever. It's ridiculous that they think I can't read their faces. Anyway, they were talking about staying married after all, so maybe dating other people was just what they needed.
They're in their bedroom boning right now. My entire life growing up, I never caught the faintest hint of them having sex, but I guess now they've dropped the facade. My mom's in there moaning - long slow "Ooh"'s. She has been for the last fifteen minutes. Sometimes my dad moans too. To make matters worse, I'm getting turned on listening to this shit, which really creeps me out. Maybe I'll go out.
Monday December 19
Being back in town for Christmas gave me an opportunity to see Becca. We met today for lunch and a movie.
I used to babysit for Becca when I was in high school, so we've sort of got a little-sister big-sister thing going. She's fourteen now. Things were rocky between us for a couple years after she caught me fooling around with her brother. Or rather, after she saw the recording her brother had made of me working an improvised dildo in and out of his ass. Becca and I are good now, but her parents still hate me, so whenever I see her it has to be a secret.
"Was that Ethan?" I asked when Becca walked up. The car that had dropped her off left swiftly.
"Yeah," Becca answered.
"How's he doing? I didn't know he was in town," I said.
"He's been around for a couple weeks," Becca said moodily. "He dropped out of college." She didn't seem to want to talk about it, so I complemented her boots and we went on from there.
After the movie Becca asked a question out of nowhere. "You said you like buttsex, right?"
"I do. It feels good," I told her. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason," she said.
"Becca, is there something going on?" I asked, concerned. "Is Caleb bothering you again? I will make his bones into fucking soup if he's bothering you."
"No, he hasn't talked to me at all," she said. "Everything's fine."
After a moment of silence, Becca said, "Me too."
"You too what?"
"Buttsex. I like it," she explained.
"Oh, cool...," I said, surprised. Becca was no virgin: from what I had pieced together, she had been with dozens of junior high and high school boys, often in groups, in exchange for a few kind words and some beer. Still, the anal taboo was something she had always taken super seriously in the past.
"I'm glad you're having fun," I went on. "Does that mean there's a new guy in your life?"
"No."
"That's cool," I said. "I've never tried that solo, but I'd imagine..."
"Ew, no!" She objected.
I felt like she was trying to tell me something. I love that girl, but god I wish she didn't make me work so hard find out what's on her mind.
Tuesday December 20
I texted with Becca today to make plans for going Christmas shopping together.
We had a good time fighting through the crowds at the mall helping each other pick out gifts. She didn't mention anything else mysterious so I stopped worrying about it. She invited me into her house when I dropped her off.
Ethan was sitting on the livingroom couch playing a video game. He looked at me and then, seemingly disinterested, turned his attention back to the TV. There were several empty beer cans on the coffee table. He was dressed in a ratty t-shirt and cutoffs, and hadn't shaved in a few days.
"Hey, Ethan!" I said cheerfully. We had never been friends, but we were lovers of a sort in our junior year of high school. It had been years since we had talked.
Ethan didn't say anything in response. After a few seconds Becca and I started toward her bedroom. Just before we were out of the living room, Ethan said, "Are you going for tomboy or dyke with that haircut?" It was clearly a rhetorical question.
I followed Becca to the laundry room where she took a load out of the dryer, and then to her bedroom. Her bed was bare; I helped her put sheets on it.
"No spare sheets?" I asked casually.
"They were dirty too," she said.
I know a lot had changed since I knew Becca and Ethan years ago, but I couldn't help feeling like something weird was going on. Becca was trying to tell me something.
I called Martin, who had been Ethan's friend in high school. He confirmed that Ethan is kind of a train wreck these days. They don't talk any more, he said: Ethan is too unapproachable.
A long time ago I had infected Ethan's computer with spyware. That computer now belongs to Becca. I logged in remotely and spent some time looking through Becca's files and browser history to try to figure out what's going on with her. I didn't find anything of interest.
Wednesday December 21
My mind is officially blown.
I spent some more time this morning poking through Becca's various accounts, but I didn't find anything of interest. I decided to turn on the webcam, figuring that maybe I'd overhear a phone call or conversation while I wrapped presents.
I couldn't make out any conversations from the livingroom over the TV sounds, so I have no idea what lead to it, but in the late afternoon, Ethan and Becca both came into Becca's room and started undressing. There was no ceremony to it: they didn't talk, or even look at each other. They just stripped.
In the past Becca had been insecure about her breast size, but watching her take of her clothes, it was obvious that she had hit a growth spurt over the last year. If anything, it seemed like her breasts were too mature for the rest of her body: they seemed to almost float in front of her, round and perky, like an anime girl. Whatever was about to happen didn't seem to involve them, though: she lay face-down on her bed wearing only her panties.
As for Ethan: Well, he's always been my type and the years since high school have washed the boy away leaving a man's body. I found my hand unconsciously touching my breast as I watched him shed all of his clothing, his erection growing, and then straddled Becca's legs.
Ethan pulled Becca's panties down to just below her butt and grabbed her ass cheeks, rubbing his cock against them while it grew to full size. Once his dick was ready, he spread her cheeks, spit on her asshole, and then rubbed his dick around in it. He repeated that several times.
Maybe I should have done something about it right then and there: called the police, maybe. But Becca's facial expression didn't show panic or sadness, or even lust - not really much of anything. She seemed bored, if anything. It didn't seem like there was any emergency.
"Are you ready for it, bitch?" Ethan asked. Becca didn't answer. Ethan pushed, slowly, until his cock broke through the resistance of his sister's butt and sunk in, just a little bit.
"Take that, Lexi, you cunt!" Ethan said. That was weird. It's possible, I suppose, that Ethan noticed the LED next to the webcam, and deduced that I was watching - but I doubt it. He seemed to be very focused on what he was doing. With a little more spit and a little more wiggling, he managed to push his dick pretty deep up in her.
Ethan leaned forward, pinning Becca's wrists with the weight of his upper body, and started pumping. He had sort of an angry look on his face as he fucked his little sister's ass, and he was breathing heavily.
Becca still didn't look upset. I might have thought she was merely tolerating this violation, if not for the way her mouth hung open. She didn't make a sound, but she was obviously into it.
For a few minutes they went on just like that. Then Ethan lowered his body - his enticingly hard body - until he was breathing on her neck. He said, "Admit it, Lexi, you'd do anything for my cock, any way I'm willing to give it to you.
Just to be clear, I never fucked Ethan. I gave him a hand job, and he performed oral on me twice. And I fucked his ass with a flashlight, which he liked although he had trouble admitting it at the time. We also had a sort of domination thing between us, and a little blackmail. But whatever was going on in Ethan's mind while he used his sister's junior-high body, it was based on fantasy, not memory. His dick never entered my body in any way.
Still, I guess he did have some power over me, because at the mention of my name I became aware that my hand had been stroking my crotch outside of my jeans for a while. I stopped immediately, struck with shame, but then a moment later I gave in to my appetite and pulled down my pants enough to give myself a good rub.
After another minute of Ethan's cock pounding her ass with his body pressed against hers, Becca reached the point where, despite herself, she couldn't stay quiet. Her moans were wispy, irregular things, not the cyclic wailing of a girl freely embracing a guy's thrusts. She licked her lips and closed her eyes hard sometimes; other times she stared off at who-knows-what in her bedroom. Becca's compressed breasts, visible from the side, wobbled from the motion of their bodies together.
Ethan went back to his hands-and-knees position, again leaning on Becca's wrists. His groans were regular - they were a part of every thrust he made into Becca's rear. One or the other of them was bound to come soon.
Becca got there first. The faintest of moans escaped her lips, rising fast in tone and then fading away as her hands dug into the sheets. For the most part she remained still, but her butt kept tensing, clenching repeatedly, as she came.
Ethan literally doubled his pace. "Yeah, take it!" He cried. "Hate me all you want, Alexis, but there's nothing you can do to stop me from making you come!"
Ethan's entire body was tight, moving fast on top of his sister, as he neared the moment when he would come into her rectum. He grunted forcefully and I could see in his face the moment each jet flew from the tip of his cock. Finally, panting, he stopped grinding into Becca's butt.
Ethan wasted no time getting up, getting dressed, and leaving the room without a word to the girl whose body he had used.
Becca lay there, frozen, until Ethan was gone. Then like a spring, she got up and removed the sheets from her bed. It wasn't just spit and semen soiling the sheet: there was a pretty good sized wet patch under the spot where the brother and sister's bodies had joined. Becca had squirted when she came.
Becca wiped herself clean with the sheets, changed panties, got dressed, and then hauled the dirty laundry out of her bedroom.
For my part, my hand was wet with pussy juice and my body ached for the satisfaction that had been so close. But now that the moment was gone, I realized that I needed to seriously think this thing through.
I mean, what the fuck? Legally, this was statutory rape, I think. I don't know if there are actual laws against incest, but I dare say that everyone they know would disapprove. Ethan was molesting his little sister. But then, laws aside, Becca has been around the block, sexually. Hell, she's been around county. Is it possible that this was something she chose? Or maybe he's coercing her somehow. Fuck, I don't know what to make of all this!
Taking the time to write all that down helped me realize what my next step had to be. I texted Becca:
I could barely contain my anxiety as she walked toward my car. "Becca, is Ethan abusing you?" I asked as soon as she was inside.
"What? No!" She said, seemingly sincere.
"Is he making you do anything you don't want to? Coercing you in any way?" I continued.
"No," she insisted. "You're scaring me. What's going on?"
"Becca, I saw what happened an hour ago in your bedroom," I told her. "I was watching through the webcam."
She put her hands on her face. I couldn't tell if she was crying.
"Becca, it's okay, it's not your fault," I told her. "He took advantage of you."
"No he didn't," she said. It didn't sound like she was crying - just embarrassed. "I mean, he sorta did, but I wanted him to."
Something wasn't right about my assumptions. She didn't seem to be in denial, and she didn't even seem too ashamed. I let her talk.
"I was hoping to make him feel better," the teen explained. "You know, fix him. It seemed like, after the first time, maybe if I let him work out his... issues... by pretending I'm someone else, maybe he'd stopping drinking and getting stoned. He worries me with how sad he's been."
She looked into my eyes. She must have grown a lot over the last year, because she never used to do that when she was emotional. I guess maybe therapy was doing her some good. "Did you hear, too? What he was saying?" She asked.
"The stuff about wanting to dominate me? Yeah," I said. "Whatever - everyone has their fantasies. But - are you sure this is something you chose? Your own free will?" I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Fourteen-year-old Catholic-school Becca, sleeping with her twenty year old brother who, last I heard, had planned on becoming a priest.
"Yes," she said.
"How long has this been going on?" I asked.
"Like, three weeks, I guess?" Becca answered. "Just a couple times at first, but every day since our parents have been out of town. Sometimes twice."
"How did this happen?" I asked. I started driving, but I didn't know where to. She told me the story.
One time he was drunk - like, super-drunk. I was on the couch and he was trying to push me off of it - you know, normal jerky big brother stuff. I was wearing a skirt and I guess it rode up, because all of the sudden he stopped. He was staring at my panties.
He was like, "Your ass looks just like hers." I was thinking, "what the fuck", but I didn't say anything. And then he started touching my ass.
I said, "What the hell?" But he ignored me and kept touching my ass. And then he goes, "I've missed your striped panties, Lexi."
I didn't know if he was playing a joke on me or if he had gone crazy. I didn't know if I should tell him I'm not Lexi - you know, like how you're not supposed to wake a sleep-walker? So I just sort of froze.
Then he pulled down my panties. I was about to stop him, but then he said, "My sister says you like it in the ass. Is that true, Alexis?" I had sort of mentioned it to him a week before when he was being a brat, just to bug him. And again I was thinking, is he crazy? What do I do? So I didn't do anything.
Then he slipped a wet finger between my butt cheeks. All of the sudden I remembered what it felt like when Caleb stuck his finger in my butt that one time. I could never admit it, even to myself, but it had felt really good back then. I suddenly realized that I missed it. And I remembered you saying it wasn't anything to feel bad about - that it was okay to like it. And so I sort of decided to let it happen - to try to let myself enjoy it. At that point, I actually sort of forgot that it was my brother.
So then he started working his finger in my butt, and it felt really good - and I was proud of myself for letting it feel good, you know? Like, personal growth? And sometimes he'd say your name, but it wasn't mean. More like, "God, Lexi, I've missed your ass."
He made me come, but I didn't say anything, so I wasn't sure if he knew. But he stopped, so I figured that was the end of it. But it wasn't. He sat on my legs and he spit some more, and I could feel his dick. I knew it was wrong - I was thinking, "OMG, my brother is about to fuck my ass!" I knew I should stop him - yell and struggle and stuff - but I think, honestly, I just really wanted to feel it: not just a finger this time, but a real, whole cock. So I let him. He had to keep pulling out and spitting more to make it go in, but that was okay because I really liked it. I mean, it felt weird, stretched open, but good.
Then he started to really fuck my ass. I was really liking it, and I was getting close to coming again, but he finished first. And it was the weirdest thing ever - I could actually feel his sperm in my butt.
Then he got off of me. He didn't say anything, he just went to his room.
I figured that was that, you know? A weird secret one time thing. I couldn't stop thinking about it, though. But then, in a couple days, we were both watching TV, and out of nowhere he turned it off, took my hand, said, "C'mere", and led me to my room. He started stripping and he said, "Take off your clothes, Alexis."
Like I said, I thought maybe it would help him - like some weird kind of therapy. I knew it was wrong... but does buttsex even really count as, you know, incest? Anyway, he didn't seem to actually know it was me, so that kinda makes it better, right?
He talked more about you this time. Er, to you. To me. He didn't use his finger this time. He just got on me and started fucking my ass and calling me Lexi. I knew it was wrong but it felt so good, and I just really wanted him to get better. He made me come. I've come every time after the first.
I was astonished. "So, his aggressive fantasy toward me has been escalating?"
"A little," Becca answered. "Not really that much until today. I think seeing you today put a bee in his bonnet."
"And you don't need to be rescued? You're in control?" I asked skeptically.
"I'm okay," she reassured me. "But... I guess I need to stop. It's wrong. I'll tell him no next time."
"Maybe I can help," I said. Becca is going to text me and stall the next time he comes on to her, which she figures will be tomorrow afternoon.
Thursday December 22
I made preparations in the morning. After lunch I sat in my car near the Rivers' house, killing time by tinkering with some code on my laptop. I had to keep the motor running to stay warm.
It was 4:00 when I got Becca's message. I drove up the driveway and barged through their front door, which thankfully was unlocked, and I walked briskly into Becca's room where Ethan was undressing. He was very surprised. Becca was sitting on the edge of the bed with her phone in her hand, trying to look busy.
"Get dressed, you're coming with me," I commanded him. "Bring a jacket. And a tie." He looked at me with disbelief at first, but I raised a razor-sharp eyebrow at him and then he scurried off to his bedroom. I could smell the alcohol on his breath.
With Ethan gone from the room, I told Becca softly, "We'll be back in a couple hours, 'kay?" She shrugged.
When Ethan returned he was, as I had requested, dressed and wearing a jacket. Before he had been wearing a T-shirt, but I guess when I said tie, he assumed he needed a collared shirt, too. No matter. I grabbed the tie and lead him like a dog on a leash out to my car.
My knees nearly froze on the walk to my car. I have this knee-length trench coat - a gift from Oliver welcoming me to the world of private investigation. I was wearing that, and a hat that my aunt had given me last Christmas, and a scarf. Underneath the trench coat was... not much. But the coat did a fine job of keeping me warm from the thighs up. My boots, which went up high on my calves, protected my feet just fine. But my knees were cold. My glasses threatened to steam up from the heat of my face, as well.
"Lexi, I...," Ethan began once we were in my car. I slapped him.
"Looks like someone has forgotten the rules of this relationship," I said authoritatively. "You will call me Miss Green." I really was curious what he intended to say, but re-establishing our roles seemed more important.
We drove until we reached the sex toy store. All the kids at Saint Frances Prep had driven by it a hundred times. All the girls used to make lewd jokes and dares about the place, but I had never known anyone who had gone in. Leading Ethan by his Burberry leash, we went inside.
"Choose three," I told him and let go of his tie.
"I don't understand," Ethan said. "Miss Green," he added a beat later.
I spoke slowly and clearly: "Choose the three items in this store with which I'm going to fuck you." The clerk and the other four shoppers almost certainly heard me, but they pretended they hadn't.
It didn't take Ethan very long at all to select our equipment. Back in high school, Ethan had frequently browsed sex toy websites - I knew because I spied on his browser history. I guess he had a pretty good idea of what was available.
The first pick was no surprise: a strap-on dildo. I'm glad he picked it, even though I had a better one back at my apartment. Wasteful, but I wasn't going to make a four hour drive to pick mine up.
The second item didn't surprise me either. It was a bondage kit: four padded cuffs and several velcro ties of varying lengths. The ideas were already flooding into my head.
Third was a pair of nipple clamps, with a chain between them and a bell hanging from each. That never would have occurred to me. I didn't even know what they were for. But I had set the rules, so I wasn't about to reverse my decision.
All told it set me back $130: a small price to pay if I can help whip Ethan's life back into shape, but still not a bad investment even if all I get is a day of kinky sex with a cute guy.
Ethan looked so incredibly meek as I lead him like a dog to the counter to pay. I was wearing my best sinister smile. The clerk wasn't showing any outward of judgment, but Ethan must have been horribly embarrassed.
The next stop was my parents' house. It was a calculated risk: I was pretty sure that we'd be done before my parents got home. The other options would have been a hotel, or Ethan's house. I figured a hotel would take too long, and I didn't want Becca around while I fucked and humiliated her brother.
As soon as we were inside, I turned to face Ethan and I opened my jacket, revealing my lingerie. Not quickly, but not slowly, I shrugged the trench coat off of my shoulders and let it fall into my hand. From there it and my hat and scarf flew to the sofa.
Up top I was wearing a black lacy bandeau. Down below I had black panties with built in tiered ruffles. My left thigh was adorned with a garter. And of course, from the knees down, I was wearing black leather boots.
I poured myself a shot of whiskey, for warmth and courage, and downed it in one gulp. I offered one to Ethan but surprisingly, he refused.
I let Ethan stare at my ass while I found paper and a marker and crafted a do-not-disturb sign for my parents' bedroom door, just in case. It would have to be my parents' bedroom: my bed frame was completely ill-suited for bondage.
The real fun began when I tied Ethan up at the foot of the brass bed. Each hand was tied to a bedpost and each foot to the bed's feet. His cock and balls were resting on the mattress, peeking through the bed frame's vertical bars like a lonely prisoner.
I lounged on the bed in front of him, toying with his junk with my booted foot. He was completely hard. "Poor little guy," I said about his dick. "So eager. But it will be a long time before he gets to play."
I slipped out of my panties - awkwardly because I kept the boots on - and put on the strap-on harness. On my knees on the bed, I held the detached dildo to his mouth. "Suck it - get it good and wet," I said. "You know, in a minute, you're probably going to wish that one of the three items you picked out was a bottle of lube."
Ethan dutifully covered the first three inches of the fake cock with as much spit as he could manage, and so I snapped it onto the harness before leaving the bed and taking position behind him. His breath was short and shallow as I wrapped my arms around him, touching his chest, brushing his nipples, while my plastic cock poked his thighs.
When I'd had enough foreplay, I covered the dildo with lube from the bottle I had bought this morning. I'm not a sadist. I stuck it in him and he moaned. It went in without much trouble, so I started stroking in and out of him by working my hips.
"You have an experienced ass, Ethan," I remarked. "How many other people have fucked your ass?" Slow thrusts, with my arms wrapped around his chest for leverage.
He didn't answer right away so I asked again, sternly: "How many?"
"Two, Miss Green," Ethan said. His body was tensing up in time with my thrusts.
"Men or women?" I asked. The harness was giving my pussy a nice rub. I reached down to adjust a strap that was pinching me. I tried to give him a reach-around, but the bed frame didn't really allow it.
"A man and a woman," he answered. Surprising. "Well, a man and a ladyboy," he corrected himself.
"Ladyboy, huh? Was she prettier than me?" I asked. I pulled almost all the way out to scout for a new position. I had been poking him pretty deeply, but I wanted to focus more on his prostate.
"No, Miss Green."
"Was her dick as big as mine?" I asked. I rolled my hips and slid back in slowly, watching for the point at which he winced.
"No, Miss Green," he said, and gritted his teeth. That was the spot.
I stood on my tip-toes and hammered him right in that spot. I gave him shallow strokes pushing hard against the wall of his rectum and into the delicate gland beyond it. "Did she fuck you as hard as I fuck you?" I asked, knowing that it was an unfair question.
"No, Miss Green. Oh god!"
I kept driving my artificial cock right against his come gland. His whole body was shaking. "Don't do it - don't come," I warned him.
"I can't help it - I can't last!" He moaned.
I slowed down, dropped to flat feet. I gave him a couple deep cool-down thrusts. "I'm not ready for you to come yet," I told him.
After a brief pause in the bathroom to clean the dildo, I came back to the bedroom with the harness and toy still attached. I felt up Ethan's butt from behind. He was still tied up and helpless. "It's a pity I can't ejaculate," I told him. "I would love for you to feel my hot semen dripping down your thigh. Did your ladyboy come in your ass?"
"Yes, Miss Green."
"Ah. Well, that's one she's got over me," I said.
I untied Ethan and retied him on the bed. He was lying on his back, with his arms tied to the center of the head board and his feet tied to the footboard. Then I set about the frustrating task of trying to attach the clips to his nipples. I spent minutes trying but I just couldn't make them stay put. His nipples were so tiny! I wondered how anyone makes these things work.
Ethan was looking at me, trying to be patient but clearly wanting to say something. Eventually I gave up. "What?" I asked.
"I thought those would be for you, Miss Green," he suggested meekly.
Duh! What the hell had I been thinking? I felt stupid, but I had to maintain a sense of control. "Well isn't that presumptuous?" I said menacingly. "I'll humor you - but it's going to cost you."
I took off my bra, wondering absently whether I had performed a Reddit-worthy boob drop. The clips attached to my nipples just fine. I expected them to hurt, but they didn't.
I sat on the bed and idly fingered his now limp dick: the whole thing was covered with pre-come that had partly dried and become tacky. I teased his scrotum with my fingernails - nothing painful, just enough to trigger a reflex. I looked in his eyes. He really looked like he needed this. Or maybe that was just how I justified it to myself.
It was time to fuck, but at the last second I decided that regular cowgirl wasn't exotic enough. Instead of leaving his feet tied to the footboard, I retied them to the headboard posts. Ethan's knees were up against his chest and his feet in the air. For good measure, I put a strap around his waist tied to the footboard, to keep some tension on him. He looked very, very vulnerable.
Ethan's dick tried to stay tucked between his thighs due to the angle of his hips, but I wasn't having any of that: I pulled it back so that it was pointed straight up, ready for me to ride. I was worried that it might be uncomfortable for him, bent that far, but he didn't say anything. Finally, I squatted down, sucking his cock into my cunt, until I was resting mostly on his thighs. My strap-on dildo was still attached to my body and pointing at his face.
"Shall we begin?" I asked. Ethan nodded.
At first I was upright, mostly sitting on his thighs but bouncing up and down for some short strokes. My own artificial dick was wobbling up and down in front of me putting intermittent pressure on my outer sex. The bells hanging from my nipples chimed pleasantly with my motion, their weight tugging on my nipples in a slightly disconcerting but certainly stimulating way. The sound reminded me of Christmas - jingle bells and all that. 'Tis the season.
I was already so jazzed up I thought I might come in seconds - not something I would ordinarily be embarrassed about, but these were unusual circumstances. Ethan was groaning right away, too. His dick kept twitching inside me with no particular rhythm. Maybe that was a product of the degree to which his dick was bent. I experimentally reached behind me and fondled his balls which made him groan more.
The way Ethan was looking at me made me think about what I must look like to him. I was still wearing my glasses and my cross pendant - white gold which really didn't go well with the stainless steel of the chains and bells on my chest. The neatly trimmed bush above my pussy was covered by the strap-on harness and its wobbling plastic penetrator. Below that, one thigh wore the garter belt; and finally from my knees down, I wore my leather boots. Ethan seemed hypnotized by the jingling jiggle of my breasts, which I thought was cute.
For a while we just went on like that: me embracing the fullness of his cock inside of me, him enjoying the slippery embrace of my pussy. Sometimes I would hold his ankles for support, as if I were riding one of those motorcycles with really high handlebars.
After a couple minutes, I decided to go at him harder. I shifted so that I had one knee and one foot on the bed, for more power and control. I thrust my vag onto his dick faster - nice deep strokes. I raked my nails across his helpless chest, just to create a sense of danger.
I've always felt that it's wrong to fake an orgasm, but is it bad to fake not having one? An out-of-control screaming climax just seemed out of character. As I could feel it coming toward me I decided to hide it, if I could. I didn't make a sound, I tried not to change my breathing. I didn't bite my lip, I didn't curl my fingers. Outwardly I may not have given any sign of what was happening. But inside, oh my god! Blood pounded and fluids flowed. Nerves and muscles danced bringing my body joy and signaling that yes, this man was worthy to plant his seed in me. I've been with other guys since my story with Ethan began years ago, but it felt like this orgasm - this particular one - had always been there, on some shelf somewhere inside of me, waiting to finally be unleashed.
He probably knew that I came, but he didn't say anything. I kept humping him and touching his chest sometimes. As an afterthought, I told him, "You have my permission to come whenever it suits you."
In acceptance of my offer, I guess, Ethan's hips started wiggling - exercising what little control he had. He tried to move his arm, forgetting that he was tied, but it jerked against the cuff. I moved forward on top of him, dangling my nipple bells in his face while I released one of his hands from the bed. Then I stuffed his erection back into my cunt and resumed humping it.
A few seconds was all it took from there. He put his hand on my side. I put my hand on his. And then whoosh: Ethan moaned an "Ah!" and his hips rose, and I felt his warm love flow into me.
I climbed off of him after he fell still and closed his eyes. His cock sprang back to its natural position and a bit of extra semen spouted forth; and then it softened. I untied Ethan, stripped off my remaining clothes and adornments, and curled up next to him.
The bondage thing was done for a time - we both knew that. For the longest time we didn't talk to each other, we just touched and held each other, kissing from time to time.
Finally I figured it was time to talk. "Ethan, what happened to you?" I asked, lying beside him, stroking his hair.
"I just..." he began. "I keep thinking I've finally figured out who I'm supposed to be, but when I try to be him, I fail. The priest thing didn't work out. College didn't work out. Pleasing my parents didn't work out. I got tired of trying. I guess I decided to just let myself be nobody." He was so morose.
"Did you try talking to anyone? A therapist or a priest?" I asked. "Phone psychic?" He laughed.
"I tried," Ethan explained. "I made an appointment with the college's mental health services. They weren't there to talk though. They just gave me some pills. Those did nothing."
"Did you try anything else?" I followed-up.
"Lexi, I don't know how to explain it," he told me. "It took everything I had just to do that much."
I frowned. "I want to see you get better," I told him. "Becca does too - she's really worried about you. But regardless of whether you're able pull yourself out of your hole, this thing with Becca has to stop."
"I know," he said. But he said it like reflex, like he wasn't really thinking about what I was saying.
"No, you don't get it - it has to stop!" I pushed. "Becca has issues of her own - lots of them. She's been working really hard to learn that she has more to offer people than just sex. It's not fair for you to go fucking her up because you can't deal with your own shit."
"I know!" he exclaimed. "The guilt is killing me! I lie awake at night thinking about slitting my wrists to escape the knowledge of what I've done to my little sister!"
"Don't you fucking dare do that to her!" I told him. He was stunned at first, then puzzled. Then he just closed his eyes and sighed.
I waited a while - to see if he would try to argue or make excuses. He didn't.
"You know that Becca has been seeing a therapist, right?" I asked. I took his hand in mine and held it to my heart.
"Yeah," he said, looking at me for hope.
I laid out a plan for him. "Here's what's going to happen: When you get back home, you're going to apologize to Becca. First thing tomorrow morning, you're going to make an appointment to see Becca's therapist - or whoever she recommends if that's a conflict for her. You'll take the very earliest appointment available, and you'll show up to it sober and clean-shaven. And then you will tell the therapist about what was going on between you and Becca. In the mean time you're going to remember that Becca and I are on your side. Can you do that?" I left out the part about going to the police if he doesn't follow through.
"I can," he said. "I will. Thanks, Lexi."
After a little silence I decided a change of topic would be good. "So are you bi?"
"I don't think so," Ethan said, seemingly past his emotional tornado. "I was just figuring some stuff out, you know? I don't know - maybe. What about you? There were rumors about you and Marcie."
I shrugged. "I'm mostly straight," I said. "I mean, I don't look for women to have sex with - sometimes things just work out that way."
So we talked about past lovers, making each other laugh with stories of our sexual screw-ups since eleventh grade. Somehow I ended up on top of him, with his renewed erection bumping around between my recently moistened thighs.
"Hey, so those things you said to Becca about me - being mean and domineering and stuff," I began. "Is that something you want? If you want to dominate me, we can try that."
"I'd rather just be us - no games - if that's okay with you," he told me.
"Perfect," I said and kissed his chin.
Ethan rolled me over so that I was on my back and he was next to me, and then he tilted my hips away from him. After he slid his cock into my pussy we kissed and he played with my breasts.
I don't know if it was a side effect of having worn the nipple clamps before or what, but my nipples were so stiff and eager! Whenever he touched them it was like I could feel it in my clit! It wasn't long before I was coming. He just watched my face while I came, still pumping my pussy at a slow steady pace and fingering my nipple. I kissed him when I was done.
"Becca said you like anal. Is that true?" Ethan asked.
"Yeah," I responded. "You wanna?"
"If you don't mind," Ethan answered.
I rolled over onto my front, stuffing a pillow under my chest. I looked back at him. "Do it," I said playfully.
Ethan lubed up, sat on my legs, and penetrated my ass. Soon my butt was telling me, "Me too," echoing the joy my pussy had been feeling but with a bizarre nonsensical twist.
He pounded my ass vigorously for several minutes, breathing like a hunted animal. Then he leaned forward, his hands pressing down on my arms like he had done with Becca. "I love you, Lexi. I always have," he said while shaking my body with his thrusts.
"Your love feels good," I replied. I don't think he was hurt by me not saying it back.
A new eruption was building in me. I was going to come soon. Strangely, I didn't want to come for me: I wanted to come for him, to show him what he meant to me. It's stupid - I've certainly come for guys who meant nothing to me - but that's how it felt at the time.
"Say it again," I begged him.
"I love you Lexi."
My orgasm rolled up and swept over me. I was helpless beneath his body; my arms were inescapably trapped in his grasp. Contractions rippled through my abdomen. It almost seemed like my asshole sucked the come out of him, because that's when his jizz gushed into my rectum. I could feel it. I moaned with relief and fulfillment until the echoes of pleasure faded away and Ethan rolled off of me.
I cleaned up in the adjoining bathroom and then ducked across the hall into my bedroom to put on some proper clothes while Ethan got dressed in my parents' room.
My mom was sitting in the kitchen reading her tablet when we reached that part of the house. "Good evening Lexi. Oh - hello Ethan," she said. There's no way she hadn't heard us having sex, but she didn't make an issue out of it. No lectures, no dirty looks, no passive-aggressive invitations to church. She didn't seem like my mother at all. Maybe sex out of wedlock has been good for her.
"Hey mom!" I said, surprised and pleased that we were getting along at that moment. "I left a mess in your room. I've got to go to Ethan's house for a little while, but I promise I'll be back and clean everything up before you go to bed."
"Okay, dear," Mom said. "Nice to see you again, Ethan."
"You too, Mrs. Green."
I watched, ready to play referee while Ethan apologized to Becca, but there wasn't any need. They were both remarkably upfront about it - a mutual mistake, they decided.
I talked to Becca privately, just in case. I told her that I was hopeful, but that it's up to Ethan to turn his life around. I warned her about how drowning men sometimes overwhelm their would-be rescuers. She understood.
Sunday December 25
Maybe I helped Ethan. That's what I told myself while all this was going on: through some sort of amateur dominatrix wisdom, maybe I've given Ethan the motivation to get help and fix himself. Or maybe I just showed him that one more person cares about him. Maybe that's enough.
Or maybe I just seized an opportunity to indulge my own kinky desires. I don't think I made things any worse, but fear that I have, somehow, keeps nagging me.