Sleepy Insomniac

Taste the Rainbow

Chapter 3

The engine hummed for a few minutes before Ashley finally heard the voice in her head speak. What am I doing?!, it said, simultaneously amazed and detached by the recent turn of events. Here she was, in the passenger seat of a beat-up Subaru with a man she didn’t even know at the wheel. While his driving was modest and safe, for all she knew he could be taking her to the middle of nowhere to rape her and bury her in a grave where a future estate would be built that she would then haunt as a ghost. Or something to that extent, she thought.

That would be her fault, of course. She had been pushing his buttons pretty hard, and even that, Ashley knew, was an understatement. For all the effort she put into piquing his interest in her, she might as well have raped him with a hand-job and saved some time. Oddly enough, though, that would not have produced the results she was looking for. In fact, something that direct would have ruined it.

It was weird; seeing this stranger, this man, gave her a sudden longing for company, something more than small talk. She knew girls her age wouldn’t start to really go through puberty until a couple years later, but just then, when this man, John, walked up to her and offered his help, a switch went off. She burned, and not the burn she felt while pleasantly experimenting with herself at night; this was a deep burn, unforgiving. It made her heart take precedence over any thought her mind produced. She wanted to be with him. No, she had to be with him. And not with any other man or boy. Him.

She didn’t understand it, either. John wasn’t exactly a hunk of a man. He wasn’t bad, but nothing about him should’ve made her feel that way. He was a little nerdy, no glasses, but he definitely possessed that general lack of coordination with conversations and movements. His suit was lame and his attempt to not stare at her ass was laughable. Though his reaction to her catching him was cute…and she kind of liked his tie, blowing in the wind like that. It was his tiny cape and he was her superhero, here to save her from another unfortunate consequence of her father’s chronic neglect. John was a tall, lanky Superman disguised like Clark Kent in that stupid, depressing suit. She felt better thinking of him this way; he was, after all, only trying to help. It was her fault that he felt awkward, causing him to drive in that stiff, mechanical way older people find themselves doing once their senses start slowing to a crawl. After grabbing a look at John, however, Ashley knew his senses were more than alert; he was bound to pop like a balloon if his insides tightened any further. She needed to get him relaxed.

“John, thank you for giving me a ride home,” Ashley said, sincerely. “I hope I didn’t interrupt whatever you needed to do-”

“Insurance,” John interjected.

“What?” Ashley asked.

“I sell life insurance…well, other kinds too, but mainly life. I’m an agent, travel a lot, hence the plain suit,” John picks up his tie when he says this and waves it a few times. Insurance? Ashley thought. That’s kind of like a superhero, I guess. Kind of...

“I’ll cancel my appointment later…it’s no problem, it’s going to storm anyway. I’m just glad I was there to make sure you got home safe,” he said. Ashley felt her chest heat up a little. I’m glad too, John, Ashley thought.

The sky had darkened a lot once they started leaving. Ashley had told John the extremely long way to get to her house. She wasn’t sure why. Something made her feel like talking to him, without the blatant advances. She saw his pants bulge pretty quickly during her little act and knew it wouldn’t take much to get his heart racing again. She needed more time with him...for other reasons. Just to be sure.

“Why were you there, anyway? At the school?” Ashley inquired. She really did wonder this. Why was he at the school that late? Nobody else stuck around waiting like Ashley so clearly was.

“Yeah…that’s…I was there to pick up my daughter, got caught up in an appointment and…” John faces his hand at his head and flips it, like something fell out. “I forgot.”

“My dad always forgets, too,” Ashley said, recoiling back on the last word. John didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry,” “No, it’s alright,” Ashley and John said at the same moment. They both glanced at each other and laughed. This is the first time Ashley heard John laugh; she liked it. It felt real, unforced. That’s how John was, she realized. Unforced. When he smiled, his face really stood out, like a college boy who developed contemplative wrinkles in his eyes and forehead as he matured, but retained elements of his boyhood. Ashley liked the ones he kept: not the annoying territorial elements like her father or boys at school had, but the good ones, the sweetness boys can possess but only fully develop after learning to cherish life, not destroy it. She knew if a squirrel ran across the road, John would swerve to miss, not swerve to hit. With this in mind, Ashley studied his face again, his soft eyes and his gentle presence. She flushed a little; he looked more handsome than he first appeared.

"Are you alright?" John asked her, not looking. She instantly looked away.

“D...did your daughter get a ride from someone else?” Good save, Ashley thought. She really did wonder this, too. John did that hand gesture on his forehead again.

“Yeah, I’m an idiot. I also forgot my ex-wife had her this weekend…we alternate weekends, and I thought this weekend was the second in the month, but I saw her two weekends in a row and…” John realized how boring he must sound. “Just forget it.”

“No, it’s fine, what’s your daughter’s name?” Ashley urged the conversation on, her mind once again losing control over what her mouth said. The more she listened to him, watched him, she felt something else building up inside her. Not the slow burn heating up her chest, though that, too, had worsened. It was...affection for him. Deep, passionate affection, like she had it for years. Why was she feeling this way?

“Megan…do you know her? Fifth grade, I think," he said.

“No…I don’t think I’ve seen her before,” Ashley responded and she jolted; John gave an unexpected laugh at this. Letting one last laugh draw out, he quickly smeared his face with his right hand and sniffed, little after-laughs still trickling through.

“I don’t really see her either…most weekends she’s with me she stays at a friend’s house,” John mentioned. A hint of sadness poked through his voice.

“I’m sorry about that,” Ashley said, sincerity still intact. Lightning struck and rain started to fall. It was thick, but still safe to drive in.

“So, how about you? I got that you’re really smart,” John said, pointedly.

“I like to think I am…” Ashley was obviously a little embarrassed by John’s compliment.

“Well, how smart do you think you are? You’re smarter than me, I bet,” John said, pointed once again at her, making her feel good about herself.

“I doubt that,” Ashley said, being modest.

“Come on, give me an example…like, how much history do you know…what grade math level are you?” John pressed on. Ashley felt small, but her heart pounded; she never had this much interest in her from an adult before. Yeah, she had questions about her knowledge, but more from an assessment level to try and determine how best to treat her without spending money on a private tutor. Her dad sure as hell wasn’t going to help, so that left it up to the school’s extra curricular funds and she knew very well how that turned out: old donated college textbooks and a special corner in the classroom, just for her! Still, she was happy to discuss what she’s learned with John; most people only pretended to care and this interest coming from him…it was different.

“I just finished Calculus a month ago,” she quietly said. John hesitated with his response.

“That’s amazing…that’s amazing, Ashley. I didn’t take Calc one until my senior year and you’re, what? Sixth grade?” John glowed while he said this. Ashley sank a little in her seat.

“I finished all of them last month,” she said, even quieter. John just drove. He had a hard time compiling thoughts on how to react.

“Why are you living here? You need to be at a gifted school or something,” John looked at her. “You’re incredible.”

The rain started pounding harder now. Ashley looked up at John, analyzing his face. The windshield wipers and the rain casted alternating shadows on his face from the headlights as the wipers moved back and forth. It looked like giant, streaming tears ran down his cheeks, matching his somber demeanor and tone when he gave her a look, a caring, concerned look, longing for a way to help her, but unsure as to how. She knew, then, she couldn’t return home. Not now. She needed John, more than she knew. She couldn't let him go.

“Does your dad have a job or something? Is that why you have to stay here in this Podunk town of ours?” John asked with concern.

“My mom died from a wreck with a truck driver. It was the truck driver’s fault. There was a big legal battle and my dad won. He has more money than he knows what to do with,” Ashley let out. Talking with John about this made her feel good. He just continued driving, quietly. He spoke after a few moments.

“And why are you here? Why isn’t he taking care of his daughter?” John asked, tension mounting in his voice.

“He hates big cities…and around here he can have sex with any woman he wants,” Ashley said, with difficulty. “He likes women like him, country women, usually a little bigger like him, too. I hear them every night in my house,” Ashley let more out. She found John becoming more than an outlet, though. He was really listening to what she said. No one, not even those in her family, listened to her like this. Their only interest was in her father and his small fortune. It made her extremely sad about herself and gave her an extreme longing for John. She realized why she had to be with him now. He just met her and he cared for her more than anyone in her entire life, except maybe her mother, but she didn’t remember her. And John was here, right now.

“It’s not all his fault…he went a little crazy after mom died, and he has no idea how to take care of me,” Ashley said, further explaining her dilemma. "He never paid anyone to drive me to school...he did it because it was his way of taking care of me, at least a way to justify it, that he was doing alright, but he can't even do that right..." Ashley's voice started to crack, so she stopped. She expected John to lose interest in her after hearing that and become more parenting. That's not what she wanted and it scared her. She may have lost him. She may have pushed too far, too fast. Good job, Ashley, you scared him away, she thought, glancing over. But John just sat there, quietly driving behind the wheel. After a few more moments, he spoke.

“So there’s nothing keeping you here? Except him?” John asked. Ashley wasn't sure where he was going with this, so she just spoke her mind.

“Not until I’m old enough to leave, and even then I won’t have the money to. He will never let me touch it,” Ashley said, feeling depressed while thinking about her future.

“Ashley…you need to get away from him…” John mulled out-loud, his voice lowering. Her heart skipped a beat and a low thunder rumbled in the distance.

“What do you mean?” Ashley asked, hoping dearly for John to say what she wanted to hear.

“Well…because you’re…” John drifted off. He drove in silence for moment and then looked over. Ashley gave him a silly smile as if to say And?! John recoiled back, giving the same cute reaction he gave before when she caught him staring at her ass.

“You’re brilliant…and gorgeous…God gave you that, you’re special…and that seems like something that shouldn’t go to waste…” John nervously said. He gripped the wheel a little tighter. I shouldn't go to waste? Ashley thought, her chest pounding in rhythm with the high-velocity wiper-blades, That's your confession?!

“God gives people retardation and ugliness, too. Are they less special?” she said, slightly hostile. Ashley was very touchy with the use of God in an argument. She knew her problems paled in comparison to what other people had to go through.

“No, of course not…but because other people have their problems doesn’t make your problems any less important. You could help people with their problems if given a chance. And I think you would…you’re…” John didn’t know if he should continue.

Ashley grew quiet again, afraid he could hear her heart pounding straight through her chest. She had to steady her voice, so it wouldn't tremble with anticipation. “What, John?” she quietly asked, waiting.

“You’re everything I could ever want in a woman,” John whispered, glancing out of the side of his window. Ashley felt an overwhelming pride and affection overcome her for John. Her heart screamed and what slowly started as a slow burn had become a raging wildfire. No longer was he a subject of speculation, hope and desire. She knew him now and both her mind and her heart knew where they stood with him. Soon, she thought, he would know, too. That moment couldn't come soon enough.

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