From the Twisted Primer Saving the Seed By Will Somers, 2007 Codes: bsolo, bg, oral, cons, 1st, parody Jimmy is taught about the sin of Onan. Can Rose save him from God's wrath?

Will Somers Index This File in text form

Jimmy likes Rose. He likes her long, blonde hair. He likes her short, green dress. He likes her long legs and sandals.

He thinks of her when he falls asleep at night. He dreams he saves her from bad guys.

She is so happy she gives him a big hug. They hug and kiss.

He rubs his hands on her little titties. They make cute mounds under her silky green dress.

He reaches under her dress. He rubs his fingers on her underpants, tickling her little muffy.

He doesn't know why, but he loves to think about this. It makes him excited.

It makes his weenie tingle. He rubs and rubs until he feels a funny squeezing. Then he falls asleep.

Every morning in class they say the Pledge of Allegiance. This make Jimmy happy, too. He is proud of his Flag. He is proud of the United States of America. He is proud of his dad. His dad is in the Army.

When he says the Pledge, Jimmy puts his right hand over his heart. He puts his left hand in his pocket. He says the Pledge. He rubs his weenie. Sometimes he gets the funny squeezing feeling.

One day, he said the Pledge and rubbed his weenie. Rose was standing near the Flag. She was wearing her pretty green dress. He looked at her. He looked at the Flag. He said the Pledge. He rubbed his weenie. He felt the funny squeezing. Then his pants felt wet!

The teacher sent Jimmy to the school nurse. The school nurse quoted from the Bible:

"Onan spilled his seed upon the ground and the Lord was angry. He smote Onan."

Jimmy was scared. He didn't want God to smite him. He tried not to rub his weenie any more.

He told his big brother. His big brother said, "No, the Lord wasn't angry because Onan rubbed his weenie. God wanted Onan to make a baby with a woman, but he squirt his seed upon the ground instead. Don't squirt it on the ground."

Jimmy wondered about making babies, but his big brother chased him away.

The next day, Jimmy was walking past the library. He saw Rose. Her long, blonde hair was smooth and shiny. She wore her pretty green dress. She carried a big pile of books.

A book slid off the top. It fell on the ground!

Rose stopped. Another book fell on the ground, and then two more.

Rose cried out. She didn't want to hurt the library books.

Jimmy ran over. He helped her pick up the books. He helped her clean them off.

"I can carry some books, if you want me to." Jimmy said it, but he felt shy.

Rose smiled at him. She had a really pretty smile. Jimmy felt a little tingle in his weenie.

"Thanks."

They walked to her house. When they opened the door, Jimmy smelled cookies.

Rose asked, "Do you want a cooky?"

Jimmy said, "Oh, yes, please."

They went to the kitchen. They put the books on a chair. Rose's mom was not home. Nobody else was home. Rose got out some cookies and milk.

When they were finished, they carried the books to Rose's bedroom. They put the books on her desk.

Rose asked, "Do you want to play 'house?'" Jimmy nodded.

Rose took a little blanket off her bed. She and Jimmy took her dolls, one by one, and tucked them in under the blanket. Rose read them a bedtime story.

Then she said, "Now it's time for mommy and daddy to go to bed."

She took Jimmy by the hand and crawled into her bed.

"Good night," said Jimmy.

"Good night," said Rose. "But you still have to kiss me," she added.

Jimmy kissed her. Rose curled up next to him. She put her arms around him. She rubbed against him. It felt really nice.

Jimmy put his hand on her bottom. He rubbed it a little. Rose wiggled her bottom and kissed him some more.

He slipped his hand under her little green dress. He touched her underpants. They were soft and silky. He rubbed her bottom some more.

Rose snuggled him. She kissed him. She rubbed his bottom, too.

Jimmy felt his weenie tingle. It started to get really stiff. He was getting excited. But he was afraid of God.

Jimmy said, "We have to stop or God will smite me!"

Rose was surprised. Jimmy told her about Onan. Jimmy told her about spilling his seed.

Rose said, "I know what to do! Solomon talked about it. He said: 'In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.'"

"What does that mean?" Jimmy asked.

"I can show you," Rose said. She took off Jimmy's pants. She took off Jimmy's underpants. His weenie was stiff and hard. She licked it with her tongue.

Jimmy groaned. "Oh, my!" he said.

Rose licked his weenie some more. She slid it in and out of her mouth.

"Oh, no!" Jimmy cried.

Rose stopped.

"I can't! God will smite me!" he cried.

"But it is written in the Bible. It must be okay," Rose said. "We won't spill any seed. I promise."

"Okay," sighed Jimmy.

Rose's mouth made an "O" around Jimmy's stiff weenie. Her tongue slid along its bottom. She licked and sucked. Jimmy gasped again and again.

"Oh, oh, oh," he cried. He felt his seed squirt into Rose's mouth.

She licked his weenie all over. Soon all the seed was gone. His weenie was limp.

"See?" she said, "I swallowed it all. It doesn't spill on the ground."

Jimmy gasped for breath. "That was great!"

"Yes, it's fun," said Rose, "and it is written in the Bible!"

Next: The Baker's Little Room