| War Stories 5 Kath sat up suddenly, everything had stopped, not a breath from the other two lying on the table, not an artillery shell exploding, not even a foot step could be heard. “Bugger, I’m dreaming aren’t I?” “How could you tell?” a figure walked out from the shadows. It was slender and had a tightrope-walker’s gait. “Well the fact you forgot to make them breathe kind of gives you away.” Kath said patronisingly. “Well I can sort that out,” said the figure in the corner. Anton started to snore. “He doesn’t snore Kate. You know he doesn’t,” Kath sounded exasperated. “That’s one reason I thought he was one of the best roommates you could possibly get. Though the way he sighed and went on a walk when we were having sex was pretty good.” Kate looked up in recollection. “So how are thing in the not-in-your-head world?” “I’m fine. Holly’s doing OK I guess, but Anton is really in the shits,” Kath said sullenly. “Oh how can you tell? To me he was always in the shits even before the war.” “He’s getting to that stage again. He slept with me and Holly yesterday. Things are looking bad for everyone.” Kath sagged onto the table. “Well this will be one interesting night won’t it?” Kate said smiling. “How do you know?” Kath said angrily. “Because a group of people who want you dead are entering your trench right now.” Kate smiled again and bobbed off. Kath heard a distant artillery strike hit the ground. Her eyes opened to see a large man collapse with a nose flattened to his face. Anton woke up and looked around madly failing to spot the man who a few seconds ago had Anton’s fist in his face. “What the hell was that!” Holly yelled as an elbow hit her chest. The man on the floor started to groan. “Anton should you want to see to him soon?” Kath said just as Anton realised her existence. “Oh, well a good morning to you too Kath.” He got a good slap round the face for this. “What the hell was that for, I didn’t say anything about Kate did I!?!” he yelled, he got slapped again. “Do not bring her up here, or for that matter ever!” she yelled. “Am I missing something here?” Holly said bemused by the sudden outburst of her lover slapping one of her only friends in the trenches. “Long story,” Anton and Kath said simultaneously. Kath slapped Anton again and ran off. “What in God’s name was that about?” Holly asked as some male screams could be heard from about ten meters away. “Well the second slap was justified, but the other two were just malicious attacks on a defenceless man.” Anton sounded hurt. “So what’s this Kate thing?” Holly said as they both stood up. “I can’t say,” Anton answered neatly. “Why not?” “She’d do the annoying straight-man thing.” “What’s that?” “She stabs you with a pencil, and in some of the most unpleasant places too.” He sighed and walked off shaking his head. “Oh the pencils woe.” He finished dramatically. “You coming then?” he walked round the corner out of the mess leaving Holly to stand there bemused. |