Playing with my Cousin

by Kael

My little cousin is 9, five years younger than me, but she's really bossy. One day while I'm babysitting her, we decide to play mommy and baby, but she's just moved and her dolls are still packed. She tells me to play the baby. She orders me not to get off my hands and knees because babies only crawl, so I crawl after her down the hallway into her room. She spreads a blanket on the floor and tells me to sit on it. Then she kneels in front of me and takes my shirt off. I shiver and cross my arms, "Lily, this isn't a good game. We should try so-"

"Shhh," she reprimands me and puts a hand over my mouth. "Babies don't talk Autumn, and they don't wear bras and shirts." She takes her hand away and takes off my bra, freeing my round, soft breasts. Then she pushes me onto my back and slides off my shorts and panties. I feel exposed and embarassed in front of her, especially since she's the younger one, but somehow she's in charge. She leaves for a minute, and comes back with some things from the closet and bathroom. She spreads my legs and wipes between them with a cold baby wipe. Then she puts a diaper on me. I wiggle around but she slaps my thigh and tells me to lie still, so I do. She fastens the diaper, and then walks out of the room. I crawl after her, shivering, unused to being naked indoors other than in the shower, and trying to get used to the heavy crinkly softness of the diaper she put me in.

In the living room she sits on the sofa and looks down at me on the floor. "Hi, little baby, are you tired?" I shake my head, and she smiles. "Do you want to play?" I smile and she puts a stuffed doggy and some blocks on the floor. I lay down on my tummy, using the doggy as a pillow under it, and bang the blocks together," cooing happily at the sound they make. I stack them up, and knock them over, and then roll onto my back. I smile up at Lily and hold up a block in each hand. "Ohh, I can see you're having fun with those blocks," she says, smiling." I line them up in a row down my body, one on my chest just under my neck, one on my belly button and one on the front of my Winnie the Pooh diaper. I pat on top of each one and then look up. The ceiling fan is going around in slow circles and I watch it for a while, my tummy going up and down slowly as I breathe, and my fingers tracing up and down my sides idly. Suddenly "mommy" leans down and pushes the blocks off me. I frown and begin to cry, upset that my toys are away from me, that I'm the one who's supposed to be in charge and here I am in a diaper, and that I'm unable to stand up to her. She kneels down next to me and rubs my tummy, hushing me. "Shhh, Autumn, it's OK. It's time for dinner."

I try to turn over and crawl towards the blocks but she holds me down gently, her warm hand pressing firmly against my belly. "Mommy, block," I whimper. Lily shakes her head.

"You can play again after dinner, sweetie, but now it's time to eat. You're a hungry baby, aren't you?" I nod and she gets back on the sofa. "Now, baby Autumn, climb up here and lie in my lap." I do as she tells me to and lie back in her lap. She takes off her shirt; my eyes widen at her bare chest. Her breasts are just budding, and her nipples are round and dark brown. She cradles my head with her hand and guides it gently up towards her nipple. I jerk away and close my eyes. "Lily, we can't. we're cousins, and I'm supposed to be watching you."

Lily slaps me and tells me to open my eyes. "We're just playing a game, Autumn. This is how babies eat, you know that. And I'm not dead, so I'd say you're doing a fine job watching me. Now don't talk like a big girl talk again, do you understand? You're my little baby now." I nod, still feeling the sting of her hand. "Tell me I'm your Mommy and that you love me, and then I'll feed you, little one."

"Mommy, I love you," I say, and she smiles and strokes my hair.

"I love you too, sweetie." She takes my head and once more guides it to her large brown nipple. I take it in my mouth and begin to suckle, tugging at it gently with my mouth. Mommy sighs and leans back. She nurses me for almost fifteen minutes, rubbing up and down my tummy while I suckle on her nipple like a baby. I reach a hand up to hold onto her small breast and squeeze it lightly, closing my eyes as I suck my mommy's nipples and "drink" her warm milk "There you go, baby. I knew you were hungry. She traces my ear, down my cheek and across my collarbone, and I moan softly in response. She pulls away gently and I look up at her. She tells me that it's bedtime and she asks me if I want to hear a story. I nod eagerly and she tells me to follow her to her room. I crawl after her, swiping playfully at her ankles as she walks. She gets a book from her bookshelf and leans back against the bed's headboard. I cuddle next to her, my head in her lap, and an arm draped across her thin legs. As she reads, mommy runs her fingers slowly through my long, soft hair over and over, letting the ends slip through her fingers and fall against my back. When the story is finished, she puts the book on the nightstand and carefully moves me off of her lap and onto on my back. She bends down and kisses my forehead, pulling the blanket up over me. "Sweet dreams, little baby."

I sigh and nuzzle my face against my pillow."Night, Mommy." In a little while, Lily comes to bed. She curls up around me, her face tucked against my neck and her small arm draped over me. I turn to face her and she moves her hand to rub my breasts, pale in the moonlight. She runs her hands across them, squeezing them gently, and tracing my puffy pink nipples lightly. She tugs on them softly and then leans forward and kisses each one. I moan as her soft warm mouth kisses my nipples, and she giggles and lies back. Then we go to sleep. The next day, she doesn't ask to play the game again, and I act like myself. When her parents get home, we hug goodbye and I go home. Sometimes I still feel ashamed and embarassed, and I worry that if she turns out fucked up it'll be because I let her boss me into that game, but at the time I felt so helpless.