God, Please Don't Hurt Me, Part 1

by Joanne

A new story, I hope you like it.

I remember that I was about nine or ten when I first found the pleasure that I could get from my pussy. At that time I thought I was the only one and expected to be struck down at any moment. I found my clit by accident, I didn't know what it was for or what it was called, all I knew was it was my favourite spot. Whenever my pussy tingled, as it often did, I would go to my room or to the toilets at school and play with my favorite spot until I shook with pleasure.

This was in the sixties when any suggestion that there should be sex education in schools would got you written off as a pervert. On the contrary any talk of sex would damn you to hell. In my catholic school you were not even allowed to wear patent leather shoes for fear they would reflect your panties. There were no boys in my school. At games, we would all strip to our panties before putting on the short gym skirts that were a compulsory part of the school uniform. We would then run around the school yard bouncing a ball and trying to throw it up and into a net. The ridiculously short skirts displayed our panties to anyone who cared to look. Who then, was going to strain her eyes trying to see my panties through my shoes, I was never sure. Imagine then, in this strict catholic school where nuns told you constantly what happened to those who sinned, the guilt I felt as I walked unsteadily from the school toilets, still damp and flushed from the sinful pleasure I had given myself. I would always whisper to God, “Please don't hurt me.”

Boys were rough and nasty, I had no interest in them at all. They were loud and rowdy and when they grabbed you, they were hard and knobbly and I just thought they were ugly. They were never in my dreams as I played with my spot. I would think of the girl next door. She was the daughter of the house. Looking back, she must have been about seventeen or eighteen. Very tight and very short shorts and very short skirts had just come into fashion. I would watch her from my bedroom window. Her legs looked very soft and long, her hips were round and her bottom wiggled as she walked on her high heels. I was desperate to see her panties that were only inches from my view. She had wonderful breasts, but my interest and fascination was with her mobile bottom. My pussy would take on a life of its own, the tingles would start in the pit of my stomach and run down to my pussy and down my legs. My own panties would get wet as my pussy wept into them. I would fall onto my bed and find my spot. I would lie there panting and waiting for my heart to stop pounding and expecting God to strike me down.

My sister Christine was born three years ago. She had gone from a crib in my parent's room to a cot. These days though, she was in a bed in her own room. She was just my sister, most of the time she was just in the way. I don't remember my mom and dad making a fuss of me in the way they do with her, but it didn't bother me. I was happy to be left in peace.

One night, she had wet the bed, she was still asleep as she came into my room. She must have been lost and looking for her mom. Something had alarmed me as my bedroom door opened and I was suddenly awake. I watched as she stripped off her wet night clothes, her vest and her panties and climbed into my bed. I pulled back the bedclothes with a view to steering her to my parent's room. I was hit by the strong smell of urine. She lay there on her back fast asleep, her soft little body was on full display. I looked at her camel toe and the familiar tingle went to my pussy. I touched her gently, not wanting to wake her. Goose bumps covered her skin and her little button nipples stood out as she reacted to my touch. I withdrew, sure that she would wake up, but she didn't. I had never seen another pussy, in fact, I hadn't seen mine very well. I gently stroked her legs, and as if by magic, they spread open. I crouched down on all fours to take a close look at this tiny pussy. I looked up her body to make sure that she was still asleep and then spread her slit with my fingers. I slipped my hand under myself to reach my spot and I leaned into her pussy and kissed it. I was looking up her body watching her breathing. I licked her and the strong taste of her, and the feel of her, sent my pussy into overdrive. As I watched her breathing getting faster. I licked at her littler pussy even faster and I frigged myself into a frenzy. As my body shook, I wasn't sure, but I thought I heard her whisper, “God.” I was filled with fear and remorse, fearful that she had seen him frowning down at us.

I was awake but pretending to be asleep when she woke up the next morning. It took a little while before she realized where she was. She got out of bed, picked up her wet clothes and padded off to our Mom's room. I heard my mother say, “Oh darling, never mind, get into here and get warm.” I found my spot and booked my place in hell thinking of my little sister.

I was at the window as usual, as Julie next door went off to work. She worked in an office and left at the same time each morning. She had dark hair and wore a dark mini skirted suit, black tights and black high heels. Men passing by in theirs car would whistle or sound their horns. I didn't care, by then, my eyes had misted over as I played with my pussy trying to imagine what lay just inches under that skirt. I preyed to God to help me.

I was surrounded by girls at school, but the nuns and the fear of the canes that they used to enforce their discipline kept me focused most of the time. Sometimes, however, when the lesson was boring, my mind would wonder and I would raise my hand and ask to be allowed to go to the toilet. Every time I did it, I prayed for forgiveness and promised God that I would never do it again. I kept my promise for three weeks. Whenever my panties got wet, I would pray hard for help.

I was asleep in bed. I didn't hear the door open and softly close. The first thing I knew was Christine shaking me by the shoulder. “I'm frightened,” she said. She was dressed in her night dress that covered her down to her toes. “Get in,” I said and closed my eyes and searched for the dream I had lost. I felt her naked body against me. “What happened to your nightie,” I asked. “I took it off,” she said.

I turned over and felt at her warm, dry, naked little body. “Kiss me Jenny,” she said. I leaned towards her. “No,” she said, “not like that.” She threw the covers back and spread her legs. “Like you did before,” she said. I rolled onto my back. “Please God help me,” I whispered.

She got to her knees and straggled my head. She kissed me with her pussy. My own pussy exploded. I lost all control. My hands were on my spot and in my cunt. I fucked myself to a frenzy and screamed silently into her. I licked and probed this lovely little cunt with my lips and with my tongue. I drank hungerly of her essence. I was lost to the devil and didn't care.