My Life, Hooked on Ice Cream

by Jenna Lezped

I am an only child, and I was born on an air force base in Florida. I was raised very differently from most. My mom was dating this guy I don't even consider to be my father, because of who he is, and that's how I came to be. My mom was 18 when she had me, and since she has been a lesbian. Her name is Elizabeth. Everyone calls her Lizz and some joke and call her Lezz. I am a bisexual, but I find myself leaning more toward lesbianism the more time I spend with my mom. I'm writing this to express my very different beliefs about children.

When I was very young I didn’t want ice cream. Of course I had never had it before. So like many kids I was just being picky and immature and didn’t want to try it because it looked all “mushy” or “icky” and whatnot. So my mom encouraged me over and over and over to just try it. Here is how it happened: I was 3 or 4. I was at the dinner table with my mom and she had a small bowl of ice cream. I refused it. She got a little spoonful and poised it in front of my face, just begging me to simply try it. I was complaining and refusing and being kind of a brat and in the middle of a sentence, mouth open, my mom moved in and put the spoon in my mouth against my will…. I was blown away! This was the best thing I had ever tasted!!! And so from then on ice cream was always my favorite desert.

It was the same way with sex in my family. My mom always had her little ways of offering to get into bed and to explore each other. But to me, when I was very little, touching another girl's genitals was “icky” and having mine touched by someone else was a little awkward and embarrassing. So when my mom offered sex I would refuse. And when I refused my mom stopped asking, and started saying things like, “It’s time for sex” or “we are going to have sex now” and things of the sort.

One time when I was 2, maybe 3 (but probably closer to 3), I had a nightmare and went to my mom’s bed to sleep. I was tired and crying and I just wanted to still be asleep. But the dream kept me awake. I was too scared to sleep. So I was tossing and turning and therefore keeping my mother awake also. She flipped on the light and turned to me and asked if I wanted help relaxing. I wasn’t sure what she meant until she took off her night shirt and lay down next to me naked.

I still remember her grabbing my hand and placing it on her breast. She seemed so much older than me so I thought it was kind of weird. It wasn’t new to me… but for some reason it had always felt weird. I pulled my hand back away from her and told her I didn’t want to. She tried then to convince me that she would make me feel good.

I said “no.” And this is something children shouldn’t do. When kids start telling their parents “no” there are problems. You know when you are in a grocery store or somewhere and a kid completely throws a fit and the parent just gives them anything they want. And the kid gets away with saying “no” to their parents. What are these parents thinking? Where is the discipline? Well anyway, this was the first time I had said “no” to my mother… and it would be the last. My mother wouldn’t have that at all! She grabbed me by the arm and made me look her in the eyes and told me to never tell her “no.”

I have some…… very different beliefs, even for a childlover. I will raise my own children on these beliefs one day, I hope. I believe that children are sacred and should be looked after and taken care of… and that also includes doing what you know is best for them. Before you are 18 you aren’t considered an adult and aren’t given all the rights of this country. Just the same, the child only has the rights in which the parent or guardian gives to their child. A child must obey their parents simply because they are child, and the parent is the adult. And I don’t believe the government should have the right to dictate how a child is raised. That should be up to the parent. A child should never be granted any rights over their own parent. Basically I believe that what a parent says goes. A child can’t say “no”.

I believe a parent has a right to their own child in any and every way, including sexually. Most disagree with me however my life portrays it’s truth. I don’t mean beating or hurting a child out of anger or anything. It should never be out of anger. My mom was very calm and patient with me. She was forceful but it’s not because she was angry or wanted to force me. It was to teach me a lesson and to make me see the pleasures of sex. Really, how would they know that they don’t like it until they have tasted it?

My mom didn't choose to ignore the fact that all humans, whether you are a week old or 100 years old, are sexual beings. My mom brought me up on sex. Some called it molestation. Some call it love between mother and daughter. It was a teacher/learning experience between us. I have no regrets. She broke my hymen when I was just 3 years old. She gave me oral at least three times a week for the first 14 years of my life. We had a great bond and a great sex life together. Soon I was able to please her as much as she could me… which was a LOT!!!

When I was 14, all hell broke loose within my family. My dad came back saying how "I was his daughter too" and demanded to see me. My mom had compassion on him and let him stay a few days. He just sat around and drank his beer and ate our food… but also when through our stuff. And that's when he found a stash of pictures of my mom and I being intimate together. He of course freaked and actually went to my grandmother (mom's mom) and told her about it, with some pictures as proof.

It has been different ever since. My grandmother told my mom that if it ever happened again she would have her arrested. She also moved to live closer to us, and drops in every once in awhile… and gives some lame made-up excuse as to why she came by.

My mom was rather traumatized by the events that happened. In the last four years from when I was 14 till now my mom and I have done nothing sexual of the sort… which I miss very much actually. I never regretted anything that happened between us except that it stopped happening. Everything that we did together or that was done to me was out of love and affection and I was taught to enjoy it, and did.

But I didn't always… I wasn't always so willing. Luckily my mom pulled through and did what she had to do… did what she knew was best for me.