The Discussion about simultaneous stories in the Fish Tank had split into various side discussions, with writers visiting other tables at whim and interjecting their thoughts. At one such table, Desdmona, organizer of the Fish Tank and award-winning author herself, was contributing to the "word meanings" thread.
"Apostropher: one who corrects punctuation mistakes quietly and without fanfare.. " She smiled and continued, "Apostrofiend: one who delights in bringing attention to punctuation mistakes.
Nicholas Urfé tries to reassure the lovely Desdmona. "Honest, Des, I swear to God I didn't mean to correct YOUR mistake; I was just in auto-edit mode, flying around the piece cleaning it up before posting, and did it without thinking. No slight was ever intended. --All the more ironic because within the piece itself I did the classic "there/their" mistake which sets my teeth on edge. I can't look at it anymore; it's dead to me. Pah!
"Not to worry," replies Des. "It was meant strictly as a joke.
"And now I'm stuck with this image of a charming man hunkered over his keyboard, cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth, fingertips calloused from use, bandages wrapped precariously around digits, the aroma of caffiene battling with booze for air space, and the sound of clack, clack, clack multiplied to one hundred eighteen times a minute as he rapidly fires away sentences. Meanwhile in the background we hear, 'Nicholas, darling, it's half past the hour. Have your remembered to breathe?'"
Conjugate soothes smiling, "Calm down, Nicholas. They're, they're, it'll be all right."
Ignoring him, Nick mutters the unforgivable insult, "Of course, that was in a quote I lifted from Spin's story, and I can't remember if I typed it, or cut and pasted. And haven't looked to see if it was there in the original. I can, you'll note, sling aspersions with the best of them."
"Arrgh!" Spin argues. "I saw that, you sludge of viridian slime! As if I would do a 'there/their'? I don't even have to check to know." Spin drowns out Nicks comments to Father Ignatious and an additional daffynition.
Barely supressing a joyful bounce, Alexis cries, "Oh, goodie. Those sound like "dueling" words...."
Ray interjects, "Weapons have been chosen .... DrSpin is armed with the green silly string while Mr. Urfe has chosen the yellow. Gentlemen, to your places."
"Unlikely," Spin laughs. "Urfe will run away. He admits to being intimidated by my Ace Dyson persona." (Insult has been answered in kind.)
"You people are taking the 'sexy' element right out of this thread. Geeze. Silly string? How am I supposed to swoon over the winner when he's covered in silly string? No wounds to kiss, no sweaty brows to dab?" Alexis is disappointed. "If this is how you're going to settle insults, then count me out. Just forget it. Either duel correctly or don't, but do not tease like this."
Selena agrees. "You and I could duel properly, Alexis. I've read enough accounts to do the right thing: my foot on your chest, my sword-point at your throat, my cold voice saying above you, 'Ask my pardon or you are a dead woman. Ask my pardon, I say, or you are a dead woman, a dead woman*.' "
continued...
* - That is, always supposing I won. And also supposing you insulted me. Am I getting ahead of myself?
