Chapter 1 – Consequences of a Poor CAP

When the CAP testing first was announced, I did not worry too much. My wife, Janice, begged me to participate in the early testing, and I did quietly set up a test one weekend. However, when the test returned a three point nine score for me, I hid the card in the back of my wallet and never spoke of the testing.

I could not say the testing was wrong. Looking back now I have to say that I loved my wife and our then two children, but deep down I was a selfish and shallow man who was loyal only to himself. I did not cheat on Janice, I did not have the passion needed for that, but I always held something back. I never offered more than the absolute minimum of my time or efforts, and it showed in my life. I had few friends, and struggled in business.

But, Janice and I still had a good life. Financially things would get tight at times as my work habits annoyed my employers and my salary reflected my lack of devotion to work. Janice controlled the finances at home and was surprisingly good at finding bargains and deals which helped us to survive.

It was the special episode of "Average Joes" that opened my eyes to what my future might hold. I did not watch the show, but it was the talk of the office the next day and the news about the coming Sa'arm attack clearly worried many of my co-workers. I ended up feeling a momentary twinge of guilt that I could not save my by then three children, but years of thinking mostly of myself kept me from acting.

I did investigate possible ways to save Janice, but in the end she was the one to show me how strong a love she had for her children. We had stopped at a McDonald's for lunch one Saturday shortly after my thirtieth birthday and found ourselves in the middle of a pickup. As I sat there in shock Janice stripped to her panties and crawled up to one of the men who had been announced as a sponsor. At home she had always been inhibited about sex. She even still wore a floor length flannel nightgown every night, only lifting it up for me to enter her before covering up and turning away from me.

That day was the most erotic and disturbing day I could have imagined in my thirty years. One of the men growled something to Janice and she immediately took his cock into her mouth, giving him what appeared to be an enthusiastic if novice blowjob. She was clearly getting into it when one of the other sponsors came up behind her and after exchanging words with the man she was fellating, ripped her panties off and started fucking her doggie style.

My jaw dropped at this point. Janice and I had been virgins when we married, and she had never seemed all that interested in sex. Now, the woman who had lived with me for nine years, and given birth to my three children was performing like a porn actress in the middle of a fast-food restaurant.

And it did not end when both men pulled out of her. I could tell that the blowjob must have worked as Janice had cum dripping down her chin, but rather than wiping her face in disgust as I expected, she merely smiled as the man pulled her to her feet. He looked over at a young co-ed who was standing nearby. I thought I was done with shocks, but Janice walked over to this girl and knelt at her feet. Then with a smile on her face she pulled the girl forward and starting sucking on the co-ed's pussy.

Our children were confused, but I was beyond speech at that point. I just put my head down and cried, trying to close my ears to the sounds of sex going on around me. My eldest son, Jeremy tried to ask me what mom was doing, but I said nothing until Janice came back over with the man.

"I'm sorry David," she said quietly. "It's for my babies though."

I wiped my face against the back of my arm before looking up, trying to hide my tears. "I understand, Janice. Please, take good care of the children. I'll miss them and you."

Janice looked sad for a moment, but gathered the children up as the co-ed walked over to help. "You'll survive," Janice told me. "Now, why don't you step up and try to get picked up?"

I just shook my head. "I can't. Please don't ask me why, but I can't."

Janice gave me one final shrug and took Jeremy by the hand while lifting Alicia into her arms. The co-ed had managed to get Daniel to stand. I sat there wishing I could change things as they walked away, Jeremy giving me one final wave before my family stepped into the transport beam and left Earth.

I went home, to a quiet and empty house. The rest of that evening and the next day I spent looking at the walls of my house and asking myself what I had done wrong. Janice and I had been childhood sweethearts, and I had promised to always protect her, but her actions at the pickup proved my words a lie. How could I have protected her with such a poor CAP score? And more importantly, why had I always held so much back of myself. I knew that my failure to give of myself was the reason for my poor score, but twenty hours of drinking and contemplation later I was no closer to an answer as to why I refused to open up.

The next day I showed up for work still in shock about the whole experience. The shock ended up with me changing what I did at work. With no family at home, and the empty home acting as a reminder of my own failures, I hid from my problems at work, throwing myself into projects. I discovered a new need to help my co-workers and soon was being invited out for lunches and after work drinks.

My heartache faded, but did not quite go away during this time. My co-workers knew that my wife had been picked up, but none knew about the circumstances surrounding the pickup, nor my feelings of failure that arose during it. Instead, they seemed to think of me as a quiet but helpful man, who would listen to them spin tales of woe without condemning them for their mistakes.

I guess I should have come out of my shell, but inside I still missed Janice terribly and mourned for my lost family. I could listen to the others, but spoke little of myself outside work related topics, concentrating on work whenever possible. However, time did deaden the pain and nine months later, during a Friday night at the bar with my co- workers, Missy dropped into my lap and my life.

Missy, or more formally Melissa Jean Scott, was a young widow trying to care for her two children with the help of a small insurance settlement from the company where her husband had worked. We met one night when my co-workers had managed to pull me away from putting together the month-end reports and get me to a bar. I was sitting at the table watching the dance floor and finishing off my fifth or sixth beer of the evening while reviewing the basketball scores from the night before, when a fight broke out and Missy was knocked into my lap.

Now, I had gone to the bar with my friends thinking to deaden the pain of being without my wife and children, but when one hundred fifteen pounds of brunette haired perfection dropped into my lap, my cock stirred for the first time in months. Missy was trying to apologize, but I drunkenly put an arm around her waist.

"Don't go," I pleaded. "You're beautiful."

This petite woman giggled and put her arms around my neck. "Are you making a pass?"

I found myself looking into the deepest set of hazel eyes I had ever seen. I sat there silently for several moments as my brain tried to compose an answer. "I don't know. Do you want me to?"

To my shock, this lady burst out laughing. "I should warn you, I have two children waiting at home. If you accept me, you are accepting them."

There was a roaring in my ears after she said that. The silence extended and the woman relaxed her arms and started to stand up. Suddenly, I came to life and put my arms around her, pulling her deeper onto my lap. "Come home with me. And tomorrow we can meet your children together."

The woman gasped and looked into my eyes. "Are you sure? You would really take a widow and her kids in?"

I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I just know I have a beautiful woman in my arms, and my home is a lonely place right now."

The woman just said there in shock for a moment and then smiled. "I'm Missy, how about we leave now. You willing to pay for the cab?"

I just nodded and stood up, discovering that I was a bit drunker than I had expected. Missy dashed off, but returned a moment later carrying her purse and put an arm under my shoulder, helping steady me as we made our way to the door. I could hear a couple of my co-workers call out to me, but after a pause at the bar to ask about a cab, Missy and I exited the bar.

The cold air helped sober me up some and I turned to look at my new companion. Missy smiled as we stood there and the giggled. "You just realized what you did, I see."

I nodded. "But I'm not complaining. It's just, I know nothing about you, and I think I just asked you to become my girlfriend."

Missy giggled louder. "Well, let's start with the simple one. Do you really think I'm beautiful?" She let go of my arm and pirouetted in front of me.

I let out a long slow wolf whistle. Missy stood five foot six, and her body had the slender curves of a healthy woman who got regular exercise. Part of me wanted to ask if she really had two children, but before I could speak, she pulled the left side of her blouse up a bit and revealed the faint scar from a C-section operation.

"Just before you ask," she said.

"Wow," I responded. "You truly are beautiful. Why aren't men beating down your door?"

Missy smiled. "This scar shows why. I have two children waiting for me. Amber is four and Alex Junior is two. Sadly, their father died in an industrial accident at the wind farm last year. And now, few men are interested in me, because I won't leave my children."

I just smiled and reached to hug her, but Missy pushed me away. "And that makes me wonder. Why haven't you refused me?"

I sighed and closed my eyes. "A year ago, I was married and had three children. Nine months ago, right after my thirtieth birthday, we went to a McDonald's as a treat for the children. There was a pickup."

I could hear Missy gasp, but I continued. "Neither Janice, nor I had the CAP to volunteer, but Janice was determined. As I watched she crawled naked across the floor of the restaurant, accepting the commands of two of the volunteers. When the interdiction field was lifted, I was sitting alone. My wife and children had left with the marines for a new life on another planet."

I dropped to the ground for a moment. "I could do nothing for them. I promised my wife I'd protect her when we got married. I was a father, and I could not lift a finger for my children. I failed them."

I was sure Missy was going to run off, but I felt her arms reach around my neck. "I'm sorry, I didn't know," she whispered. "Come, let's go see my children, perhaps they can start you on the path to healing."

I was incapable of protesting at that moment. My little speech has been the first time I had admitted how helpless the pickup had made me feel and I was shaken by how much emotion I had bottled up for months. Missy just held me until the cab arrived and then guided me into the seat, giving the cab driver directions.

The drive took us to a very poor part of town, and finally led to a battered apartment building that was little better than a slum. I sat silently as Missy negotiated with the driver. She made it clear that she needed to run inside for a few moments, but wanted him to wait with me in the cab until she returned. The driver was not happy with the idea, but I roused myself enough to hand him forty dollars and he grudgingly agreed to wait no more than fifteen minutes.

It was probably twenty minutes before Missy reappeared. She had changed from the flirty dress she had worn at the club and was now wearing jeans and a t-shirt. In her arms was a very sleepy two-year-old boy and just behind her an older lady was leading a young girl while carrying a couple of suitcases. I opened the door and Missy quickly put the boy inside.

"I have to go back and get the other suitcases, give me a moment more, please," she told the driver as her companion picked up the girl and handed her to me.

The driver grumbled more, but another twenty out of my wallet quieted him down, and Missy dashed off with a smile, returning only moments later with two more suitcases and a battered diaper bag. The driver grumbled once again, but got out to help her put everything into the trunk, and then waited as Missy gave the older lady a hug and slid into the cab beside me.

"Sorry about that lover," she told me as she gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I wasn't as well packed as I thought."

I stared at Missy as her friend closed the door. Missy motioned for me to give the cab driver directions to my home and I turned to tell him my home address. I could feel the car pull away and turned back to Missy. "Lover?"

Missy blushed. "Well, you offered to take me and my children in. I thought you would like being my lover. I haven't had a man since Alex was killed."

I stared for a moment at Missy who looked at the floor of the cab. Next to me I could hear Alex Junior fuss a bit, and felt Amber put a gentle hand on my knee. For a moment my thoughts came to a stop, but then I reached out and put my arms around Missy. "I invited you to my home because I wanted to help," I whispered. "My bed is open, but never believe that you have to be there. Only come if you truly desire to be with me."

Missy flashed an incredible smile and kissed me deeply, causing Amber to giggle. The cab driver coughed once to let us know he was turning onto my home street and moments later pulled up in front of the now ill kept home I had purchased when Janice and I first married.

It took a few moments to coax Alex and Amber out of the car, and collect the suitcases from the cab trunk, but moments later I found myself holding the hand of a frightened little girl as her mother held her brother in her arms and looked at my home.

"Its not much," I admitted. "I'm afraid that after Janice and the kids left for some colony I kind of stopped caring about how it looked. The inside is good, and both Amber and Alex can have rooms of their own."

Missy giggled. "Let's get them inside and collect the suitcases and then we can divide up the rooms."

I grabbed the largest suitcase, and Missy picked up on of the smaller ones as we walked up to the door. The time spent in the cab had sobered me up considerably and moments later I had the door open and was turning on the interior lights before dashing out to collect the remaining suitcases.

Missy had set her suitcase just inside the door and wandered down the hall. It was not hard to see which of the three smaller bedrooms had belonged to each of my children, and before I could talk to her Alex was settled into the crib that Daniel had last slept in nine months before. He fussed a moment, obviously unhappy to be in an unfamiliar house, but Missy sang him a gentle lullaby as I brought the suitcases back with me.

"Leave the smallest one and the diaper bag in this room," Missy said. "Put the next two in whatever room you want Amber in and take the two largest into our room."

"Our room?" I asked as Amber looked up from the crib and walked over to me.

Missy giggled. "Yes, our room. Stop trying to be noble and accept it. I need some time to sing Alex to sleep, but Amber is falling asleep where she stands. Put her to bed and you can wait for me in our room."

I shook my head, but managed to coax Amber into following me down the hall to Alicia's room, where I lifted her into the bed and even fluffed the pillow to help her sleep. She seemed a bit distressed that her mother was not there, but the bed was soft and her tired body drifted into slumber quickly. As her breathing slowed, I tiptoed out; leaving the door cracked open in case Missy wanted to check on her daughter.

At that point I stumbled into my own room, and removed my clothing. Part of me wanted to shower off the residue of smoke and beer that lingered around me from the bar, but I was simply too tired. Once I had removed my briefs I crawled under the blankets of my bed and closed my eyes.

The combination of too many long nights and a few too many beers had me deep in sleep, so I never felt the bed move when Missy crawled up next to me some time later. I discovered her presence the next morning when I woke up spooned into her and holding her right breast with my left hand. I had a bit of a hangover and struggled to piece together what was happening, but quickly realized that something was not right and tried to disengage from Missy.

I had started to pull my hand away, when she rolled over and put her arms around me pushing her breasts into my chest. "You running away?"

I coughed. "No. It's just… well… Its not right," I sputtered as I tried to pull away. "Besides I need to use the toilet."

Missy looked down between us at my cock, which was standing at attention between us. "Aww, you mean that isn't for me?" she vamped. "It's a nice one too."

I gasped, for a moment I could not remember Missy's name and growled. "Lady. Right now I'm trying to remember what I did last night. I'm trying to be an honorable man and not take advantage of you, please let me go."

Missy threw her arms around me and held me tighter for a moment. I struggled to get free, but a moment later she released me with a giggle. "Very well. Missy will let you run to the bathroom," she said as she pushed me away.

I stood shakily and hurried to the bathroom before I embarrassed myself. As soon as I no longer felt the urgent need to piss, I paused to look into the mirror. I could see no signs of lipstick on my face or neck. Still it was clear I had partied heavily the night before, and I again wondered what had happened.

I turned to leave the bathroom to find Missy standing just outside the door, waiting for me. Before I could protest she gave me a long kiss and then spun me around and pushed me onto the bed. I fell onto my back and my cock stood up proudly. I tried to protest, but Missy had followed me down and before I could get my arms under me she had straddled me and thrust her pussy down over my cock with a moan.

"Missy!" I hissed, remembering her name, thanks to her help. "What are you doing?"

She was slowly rocking her body over my cock, rubbing her pussy up and down. She looked at me with a sigh. "I'm honoring our agreement."

"Our agreement?"

She giggled. "Well, we never talked about it, but I think its fair. You took my children and me in, and are going to be the daddy. Shouldn't the daddy and mommy have sex?"

"What?"

I was struggling to sit up, but Missy was slowly speeding up her thrusts on my cock, and after nine months without a woman, I was rapidly approaching orgasm. Missy was obviously close as well as she began moaning passionately. I managed to put my arms on her hips thinking to lift her off, but Missy gasped out an orgasm, and instead I pulled her hips down, thrusting my cock deep inside her and cumming myself.

Missy collapsed forward, her breasts falling onto my chest as both of us caught our breath. She had her eyes closed and I felt tears fall against my neck. I was trying to figure out what had happened when she reached up and gently kissed me. "That was the first time I've ever cum during sex," she admitted quietly.

"But you have two children."

Missy nodded sadly. "I lied to you last night. Not about being a widow, Alex really did die last year while at a windfarm, but he did not work there. He was one of those thrill- seeking BASE jumpers and somehow got a wild idea to jump off a windmill. But he chose one that spun vertically. I never went to see it, but I guess the blades are in a diamond-like shape and spin around a center pole."

I nodded. It had been a few years, but I remembered seeing windmills in this configuration years ago. Missy smiled as I did and then continued. "Well, I guess you already have a guess as to what happened. Alex opened his chute and the spinning blades caught his chute almost immediately. The doctors think the whiplash from that killed him instantly, but the fall would have been fatal anyways. But, there was no insurance because Alex was violating several laws when he jumped. I've been living with an old retired lady, but there was no space, and not much money. When you offered your house, I couldn't take a chance that you would change your mind."

I was momentarily shocked and then remembered Janice in the McDonald's and her wanton actions with the sponsors. For a moment I wanted to vomit, but Missy just gazed into my eyes and I sighed.

"You don't have to be here though. It was exciting, and wonderful, but you didn't have to do this."

Missy giggled. "Oh, but I wanted to. I wasn't as horny as you, since it hadn't been nine months for me, but five months without sex was getting to me. Even if it had been terrible sex."

I looked at Missy. "Terrible?"

Missy nodded. "With Alex it was always missionary with the lights off. I never came, and he didn't try to initiate it very often or ever try to help me out."

I laughed, thinking of my married life with Janice. I was about to explain my laughter to an obviously confused Missy when Alex Junior started crying and we both realized that her children required attention.

The rest of the day ended up being spent playing with the children and discovering that my drunken pledge of the night before had given me a ready-made family. With the memory of my failures with Janice never far from my mind, I spent my time playing games and reading to the two young children while Missy hovered, always close enough for me to hug or kiss. I remained a bit worried about how happy Missy was, but she gave freely of her affection, and by the time we wrapped our arms around each other Sunday night after a vigorous and passionate bout of lovemaking I realized that I was happier than I had ever been before.

That happiness continued for the next six months. I remained active at work, regularly putting in ten hours days, but my period of sixty-hour weeks ended quietly. Instead I was arriving early so I could be home before five. Once home I was spending hours with Amber, Junior and Missy, enjoying their presence in my life. Weekends were even more fun as Amber and Junior loved outings and their simple and honest enthusiasm infected Missy and me.

Missy worked hard to make sure I never regretted my decision. The five suitcases that she had brought to the cab that first night proved to contain all of her family's worldly possessions, and when I insisted on adding to her store of clothing, she dragged me to the stores and demanded that I approve every outfit. I was astounded by her decisions. She never selected any pants. The skirts she found were rarely long enough to reach the middle of her thigh and the blouses she did find always seemed to be near transparent. Missy did not really need a bra as her 36B breasts were tight and firm, but I still ended up sitting in on more than one private fashion show in lingerie stores, with Missy making her decisions based on what outfits made my cock rise.

And the sex was amazing. Missy never refused me when I started foreplay. She even took to pouncing on me with kisses and hugs, an action that always resulted in my stripping her naked and finally collapsing on her after cumming deep inside her pussy.

Things were idyllic for me. Once again I had a family. More importantly I had a discussion with one of the officials manning the local CAP testing center. Since my only test had occurred more than two years before I had the option to test again. The standard policy was to retest on your birthday, but as I inquired about this four months after Missy had entered my life, I was looking at an eleven-month wait. The official promised to look into a waiver to allow an early test.

Everything was moving along near perfectly. The official had called me and said that the Confederacy AIs had agreed to allow me to retest exactly three months after my official birthday. I was hopeful that I would obtain a much better score, and on a Monday, twelve days before my retest I stopped by a jewelry store to purchase a ring, which I concealed at work, planning on bringing it home the day of my test, which I was keeping secret from Missy.

It was near perfect, and that Saturday, we headed to the mall to look at summer clothing and swimsuits for everyone. Missy seemed to sense that I had a big surprise planned and was more flirty than normal, once reducing a poor teen salesclerk to blushing with her outrageous antics. I just thought about how happy this was making me. We were having a family outing and I was already picturing Missy's happy reaction as she danced in front of me when we heard a scream.

"There's an interdiction field! It's a pickup!"

To this day the next minute is burned into my mind. The mall we were at had a large Cineplex in the center, and there was a major blockbuster out. The lines to get tickets filled the mall, and with that one shout, the entire crowd stampeded towards Missy and me, charging towards the interdiction field.

I grabbed Alex and Amber and ducked into a small alcove to protect them from the rush of people, but Missy had been standing in the center of the hallway and I could hear her scream as the tide of humanity dragged her away. The crush of people passed quickly, but the screams and shouts of the crowd only grew louder once they reached the field and found no way to reach the pickup.

I waited where I was, hoping that Missy would be able to break free. Amber and Alex cowered against my legs, as the crowd grew louder and angrier. Finally the field vanished, and there was a momentary riot before the crowd dispersed in disgruntlement as the pickup was over.

I looked out and still could not see Missy, so I slowly led Amber and Alex in the direction the crowd had stampeded. I could see a couple broken bodies lying on the ground and gripped both children's hands tightly reflecting on the possibility that they could have been victims. Unfortunately, we turned a corner and discovered that Missy had also become one of the casualties.

I let go of the children's hands and ran forward to where Missy's body lay. To my eternal shock her eyes were open and she reached out with her right hand. "David…" she whispered as Amber and Alex caught up to me. They tried to touch her, but I gathered them into my arms as tears streamed down my face.

Missy struggled to smile. "You saved them. Thank you. David, I'm sorry. I wanted to be with you forever. You brought so much excitement to my life, and so much love. Promise me you'll protect our children. You weren't the man who created them with me, but they are yours. Love them for me. Please."

I wanted to put a hand out, but I could see no safe place to touch. Missy's left arm, and both legs were broken and twisted, and the left side of her chest appeared crushed. Trying to clear the tears from my eyes I nodded. "I will my love. I'm sorry, I failed to protect you."

Missy gave one last smile and closed her eyes as she did she spoke her final words. "It's okay dear heart."

I sat there wailing my agony for the next hour. Amber and Alex were crying as well. I was so broken I did not notice as the mall security arrived to assist medical personnel in helping some survivors of the riot. Later, I would hear that fifteen children lost their lives along with Missy in the stampede towards the interdiction field, but at the time all I could think of was the loss of my lover.

I struggled to get through the rest of the weekend, but did remember to call my friend at the testing center. After I explained that my lover had been killed in the mall riot, he promised to get my test rescheduled, although I was tempted to tell him not to bother. I could only think of the box sitting on my desk at work, containing the engagement ring I would now never present to Missy.

Monday, I returned to work, a sad and near broken man. Amber understood only that her mother was gone, but had decided that it was her mission to cheer me up, so when I tried to sleep in and mourn, she dragged me out of bed and insisted that I go to work. I did, but took her and her brother with me. That proved to start an interesting conversation when I set them up in a corner of my cubicle.

"What's this?" my supervisor Peter Svenson said upon seeing Amber quietly coloring a drawing she had done.

I was just finishing a weekly report and fired it off attached as an email before turning to look at him. "Sorry Peter," I replied once the email was on its way. "Their mother was killed on Saturday, and I have nowhere else to send them. They are good children."

Peter stared at me just as one of the executive secretaries Heidi strolled by and noticed the children. She looked at Peter and me and then spoke. "David? I thought your children were taken away by the Confederacy over a year ago. Where did these two come from?"

I sighed and tried to choke back a sob. "Their mother had been living with me for six months, but…."

Heidi looked at me and then noticed the box next to my phone. "Oh god, was she the lady killed Saturday at the mall?"

I could not nod as the memory crashed into me. Instead I put my head down on my hands and sobbed. Peter said something, but I could hear Heidi bark. "Oh fuck you! If I'm not mistaken he was going to ask her to marry him, and its not like he hasn't worked harder than anyone else recently. Leave him alone."

Peter must have said something more because I heard the crack of a hand hitting his cheek before Heidi stormed off. I sensed him glaring at me for several moments as I tried to compose myself before he too left me to my work and sorrows.

That short meeting set the stage for the rest of the week. Getting Amber and Alex up early was not possible, so I was arriving at work after seven and putting in eight hours while the two children played quietly in the corner of my cubicle. Heidi and some of the other office ladies stopped by to visit, but Peter stayed away. I expected some trouble, but I had turned the building of the various reports into a very routine procedure long ago, and had no trouble keeping up the workload despite reducing my hours. The only sad news I received that first week was when my friend at the testing center reported that I would have to wait until my birthday before I could test again.