I'm kind of tired, today. I should go rest for a bit. Maybe I should go downtown to watch the lady office workers on their lunch break. That's always relaxing. So many short skirts and V-necked blouses. Lawyer ladies are the best. They have to look good to make the Judge decide to negotiate the sentence on the couch in his chambers, so they always work out and have great hair and make-up.

No, I just can't take the time. I have to make my list and make arrangements for the pickup. When you have the kind of score that I have, you have obligations. I wish I just had a CAP score of 7 or so. Then I could just wait for a pickup, take what was available and be happy. It'd be easier if I could write the list down as well. But there are people that would try to hurt them if they knew they were on my list. No, I have to keep it secret until I'm ready. Plus, writing is so hard with my dyslexia. I wonder if the Darjee can fix that. Well, of course they can. They can fix anything.

Enough procrastination. I need to do the list. There is not much time left. We want maximum diversity, so I need Blondes, Brunettes, Redheads, Blacks, Whites, Asians and Hispanics. This is going to be tough, especially with my limited pool of available women. Eight women to choose and all of them have to be celebrities. If the American public thought that their celebrity women were going to be Swarm snacks, they would riot in the streets. People magazine would sue for restraint of trade. It would be CHAOS.

Back to work, now. Blondes. I'm not really a fan of blondes. Britney certainly looks nice, but she is just too wild lately. Shaving her head, what's up with that? She is too high maintenance for my taste. Jessica is cute and a lot more wholesome, I think. Wait! Jodie! Ever since she got saved from a life of prostitution by that cab driver, she has been such a help to people; catching serial killers, helping Contact Aliens with the SETI program. I can even have the Darjee make her look like twelve again. Hmm, maybe fourteen, that's the rule after all. Get her pregnant. Age her back to about twenty-five so she can carry and deliver it with no problems. Then back to fourteen again. She'll like that. Okay. Jodie is definitely first and Jessica is second blonde. Brunettes. I've always liked Brunettes. I think Teri. She's hiding under an assumed name on that 'reality' show about the housewives. Well, she's probably down after breaking up with Clark and losing that newspaper gig. Hmm, I haven't seen any issues of the DP lately. I guess that the Internet has killed it. Still, it had to be a bigger shock to break up with a superhero.

Hmm. Maybe I need to interest myself in politics. Bi-partisan, of course. Michelle would fit my need for a black lady. I'm sure her husband would be happier in his job if he knew his wife and kids were safely off the planet. Maybe I should help John out the same way. Nah. His wife's another blonde, and it would probably take too long for the Secret service to figure out which house she was in, anyway. I could take Sarah though. She's pretty conservative so there should be no problem with her minding the man of the house and turning out another ten or fifteen kids or so. She'll probably volunteer to throw away her shoes, too. Hmm, as the VP candidate, she's going to have a bigger protection detail. Well, I'm NOT counting them as my Harem choices, but they'll probably have to blend in, so they'll need to be women. They won't be able to come back here afterwards, so I guess I can help keep them happy and pregnant, the poor dears. I think we'll have to take Tina as well. She can be a body double for Sarah. The Secret Service will like that. Tina and Sarah in a threesome! Tina will love that, but I might have to be pretty firm with Sarah. I still need redheads, Asians and Hispanics. Lindsay or Marcia? Well, Teri and Marcia seem to know each other. Lindsay is awful darned cute, but she's almost as bad as Britney. I need more young blood, though. I guess the Darjee can flush her system, and I can give her lots of love and guidance. She'll make a full recovery for me. Lindsay it is. That leaves me one choice. The AIs may give me a supernumerary or two, but I can't count on that. And I haven't even thought about any Indian subcontinent women!

Wait a minute. I can get the Secret service to make sure that they have a racially mixed team. After all, they will have three or four women for Sarah, the same for Michelle, and even more for their kids. They can probably find Black, Hispanic, Asian and even Laplander women. Yeah, that will do it. I'll choose the last just one for myself. There are lots of nice women around here. I'll just uncover my CAP card. It's a good thing that the tin foil blocks the signals or the Marines would have found me a long time ago. They need all of the 9.0s off planet as soon as they can be located. There's a great looking lady lawyer type. I'll just go over there and show her my card.

"Jerry? How you doing? Can you hear me yet?"

"Sergeant Michaels. Long time no see. Hey, you need to go shoot that lady lawyer. She attacked a volunteer. That's against the Confederacy rules you know."

"Jerry, we talked about this. That only works if there is an actual pickup going on and the Marines are the ones that have to decide. Now, are you off your meds again?"

"I don't need the meds anymore. Remember? The nanites take care of everything. Hey, I need my hat back. Without the tinfoil the Swarm can get a lock on me and the planet is doomed. That lady knocked it off with her purse. I don't understand why she got mad. I just politely asked her if she would rather stay here and be eaten by reptiles from space or have mad sex with me. "

"Ok, here's your hat. Let me check your nanite levels." Sgt Michaels pulled out an advanced scanner that looked amazingly like a cell phone. The Confederacy was doing great things with technology these days. "Yeah. Your nanite levels are toast. We need to take you into the station and have you make a statement. We'll pass it on to the Confeds. Then we'll have a doc check you out and get you some more nanites. Okay?"

"That works for me. I'm surprised that there aren't any distortion fields up though."

The people here are pretty nice. They let me stay here while my Harem is being notified. They have to stay out in public to keep up morale until a ship is available. I'll be safe here. There are bars and locks on all of the doors and windows, even the inside ones. The Darjee interlocutor, (He says to call him Dr. Smythe) is collecting my thoughts and preparing them for translation. He has a special recorder for me to use. The nanites are available in pill form now, but something in my super advanced immune system keeps shutting them down, so I need a dose twice a day. Fighting them also drains my body, so it gets hard to think straight. A few times we tried to jump-start the ones in my system with a big jolt of electricity, but that didn't go well at all. I lost my CAP card in the scuffle with that lady lawyer, but they said that wasn't a problem. No one else can use it, and I'm already in the system with my ID verified. I never need my card again. Well, I need to take a lunch break now. The replicator food is healthy enough, but it tastes just like hospital food. I will try to come up with more advice for the Darjee after lunch.

In the corner of a storm drain catch basin sits a small white card. Clearly visible are the following words and number:

Thanks to Thinking Horndog for permission to play in his world. Thanks also to deGaffer and Mulligan for editing help. I want to state categorically, that the author never really contemplated being in a sexual relationship with the above named ladies. Nope, uh uhh! Not me.

Well, except for Britney, and she is just asking for it.

Oops, time to get my nanites jumpstarted again.