Disclaimer: Intended for adults only. Do with this story whatever you want. I don't care. I'm just posting it one last time to purge it forever. Self-abuse is the only good kind...They didn't teach me that until it was too late I think. yadaydayda. written in 2001 in someone's bedroom on a chinese takeout menu...

I'm 19 but it started when I got my first period at 12.

My Godfather told me he needed to do his Holy Duty and check my hymen. He became the guardian of my virginity for two years, pushing his finger in me every week and testing the thin wall of my cherry.

He started to show me his cock when I was 13 and he made me jack him off while he touched me. He told me sperm would make my breasts larger and he would cum on my budding breasts and I had to smear it around and rub it on my nipples especially, he said. My breasts really did get bigger, but not very much.

When I was 14, I was confirmed in the Church. That's when he told me that I was a woman and he needed to fulfill a different obligation. He made me suck him until he came in my mouth. He told me I should swallow it because it was a gift from God. So I did. Every week he would finger my pussy and ejaculate in my mouth or on my breasts, whichever he thought was the right thing to do that week.

That summer I had an accident when I was roller-blading and I landed badly and hurt myself. It also broke my hymen. Not much, but enough so that it was ruptured. I bled a little and had to see a gynecologist. My Godfather found out and came to visit me. He didn't believe that it was an accident. He told me it was a punishment because I was having impure thoughts about boys. He told me that he would complete God's work.

I was laying in bed and he took off his pants and got in with me. It hurt and I was trying to push him off but he was too strong. His penis was inside me and his hand was on my mouth to keep me quiet. He fucked me very hard and very fast. It hurt more than anything else in the world. I don't remember when he stopped.

Since then for the next 4 years, until I turned 18 and graduated from high school, my Godfather fucked me nearly every week. He made me get an abortion when I was 15 and put me on the pill after that. I love him now and I know he was only doing what he was obligated to do when my Father asked him to be my Godfather 19 years ago. My family is so proud now because we are going to be married in the spring. Although he is 51 now, I know he will be a fine and God Fearing husband and I love him very much.

Seattle, March 19, 2000