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Archive name: nyear.txt (MF-teens, rom, TV-parody)
Authors name: Jennie (jennie@burningobsession.com)
Story title : Lost in the Shadows

------------------------------------------------------
Not meant as an infringement to the WB series. This 
work is a "parody" of the real show and neither the
characters nor the writers have ever written anything
resembling this episode.
------------------------------------------------------

Lost in the Shadows (MF-teens, rom, TV-parody)
By Jennie (jennie@burningobsession.com)

***

It's New Years Eve senior year when Rory's life 
ultimately changes and she realizes that there is no 
going back. In this story the second season didn't 
happen, meaning Tristan never left!

***


CHAPTER 1: Fighting Mental Failure


"Come on! Please?" Rory begged, jumping up and down 
which was a hard feat to do in the shoes she was 
wearing.

Dean shook his head and laughed. "I learned my lesson 
last year. You and your mother are both forbidden 
from fire, remember?"

She glumly nodded. "But it's not really fire, just a 
little sparkler. Look! She has one!" she said pointing 
to a little girl dressed as a firecracker who was 
swinging her sparkler stick in the air.

"Luke's hat," Dean said warningly.

"That was NOT me. That was my mom. Besides, it was a 
marshmallow, not a sparkler." She pouted and purposely 
made her lip quaver.

Dean seemed oblivious as he led her through the crowd. 
"The marshmallow was on fire, Rory."

"It was my mom!" she said exasperatedly, pulling out of 
his grasp/

"You're so cute when you're ticked." She ignored him, 
instead waving hi to Miss Patti and Taylor who seemed 
to be arguing. "Rory, I can't wait any longer."

That got her attention. "What? Wait for what Dean?" She 
watched as he got down on one knee, her curiosity soon 
becoming horror.

"I wanted to wait until midnight but I'm too anxious. 
Rory Gilmore, will you marry me?"

Her heart stopped. A hand went to her chest in shock 
and confirmed it. Yes, her heart did indeed stop 
beating.

She knew they were drawing a crowd, they had to be, 
they were in Stars Hollow after all, but all she could 
see was the tiny diamond ring that was being thrust up 
at her.

Suddenly, her heart kicked back into motion, sending 
the blood rushing to her head. She reached past the 
ring, instead taking purchase on his wrist. He let her 
pull him across the street and a bit away before 
speaking.

"Rory?"

She stopped and faced him. How dare he use such an 
innocent tone with her. "Dean, I'm not ready for 
marriage."

"But you're leaving for Harvard in the fall. Rory, I 
love you and want to spend the rest of my life with 
you"

She cut him off with a wave of her hand. "First of all, 
I haven't even been accepted yet, and secondly, we've 
discussed this before! I don't want to get married 
until AFTER I graduate." She was growing angry at him. 
How dare he do that to her in front of the whole town? 
He probably thought that if they had an audience it 
would be harder to say no.

"I'm not saying we have to do it right away. I can wait 
as long as you need me to BUT I do need you to say yes 
now." He seemed desperate but it just angered her more.

"You NEED me to say yes? Dean, I can't. Please. I can't 
do this." Rory turned sharply on her heel.

"Don't walk away from me unless you don't plan on 
coming back," he threatened, his voice full testament 
to the pain he felt.

She stopped, her back still to him as she felt 
something die inside of her. The end... it came so 
suddenly. Without looking back, she ran as fast as 
possible to her home.

Once inside, she couldn't hold still. Pacing in the 
dark, she contemplated the fact that she wasn't crying. 
Why wasn't she?

It was just a matter of time before it got around to 
her mother and she came rushing home, but she wasn't in 
the mood to discuss what had just happened because it 
felt as though it didn't. She felt numb and that scared 
her, but at the same time it was nice.

She didn't want to turn on any lights, didn't want to 
face the harsh light of reality. The darkness 
surrounding her was comforting.... consuming. She was 
in a daze and she was afraid that at any moment the 
emotions would hit her.

Ignoring her cloudy mind, Rory kicked off her shoes and 
walked into the kitchen enjoying the feel of the cold 
in the tile seeping through her feet and into her body.

She moved deeper into the freezing kitchen, stripping 
off her puffy jacket. She tossed it to the side, 
flinching as the sound of glass shattered across the 
floor.

Sighing, she went to the wall and switched on the 
light, the harsh fluorescents making her squint. She 
collapsed next to the blue-tinged glass and pulled the 
wastebasket to her, tossing the delicate pieces into 
the trash. It was kind of like a metaphor for her life, 
being shattered like that.

Her mind numbly dissected the previous moment with Dean 
as she gingerly handled each sliver. What had Dean been 
thinking? Did they just really break up? A sharp sting 
in her finger brought her attention down and she 
dropped the bloody piece of glass. It was amazing that 
such a tiny sliver could cause such pain.

Moving her hand over the trashcan, she watched 
curiously as the blood dripped off her finger. 
Fascinated, she enjoyed the pain. It made her feel. 
Made her feel alive.

She glanced down and saw a crumpled yellow sheet of 
paper in the trash. Picking it up, she stained the 
sunny color with her blood. It was an invitation to 
Madelyn's New Years party that Rory had received in the 
mail. At the time it had seemed like a joke but now she 
saw it as an escape...

Maybe not an escape from herself but an escape from her 
town, the questions, and maybe the numbness. She 
grabbed her keys, wrote a brief note to her mom, 
slipped on her jacket and shoes and jumped into her 
mom's jeep. 


CHAPTER 2: Trusting Desire


She knew she was close because the streets were lined 
with cars. She found the house and saw a spot at the 
bottom of the driveway where she hopefully couldn't get 
blocked in.

The clock read 11:45 before she shut off the jeep. She 
took off her jacket and darted up the extremely long 
driveway. The front door was wide open despite the 
chill in the wind and she walked right in following the 
noise of the party to a dark room throbbing with 
lights, heavy beats of music and of life.

Standing in the doorway, she let the atmosphere 
overtake her.

"Jello shot?" a boy offered with a glint in his eye.

She wasn't sure why she accepted. She told herself she 
was just trying to get the guy to leave her alone but 
she knew better.

She took the small cup into her hand and brought it 
swiftly up to her lips. It tasted like strawberry 
jello. Just regular strawberry jello.

She found herself smiling although it was only on the 
surface. It never penetrated any deeper.

The guy handed her another and then disappeared into 
the crowd with a smile. She quickly downed it and was 
surprised to find a slight buzzing in her head.

She liked it.

*****

He saw her the moment she entered the room.

Between the deep strobes of light he watched her look 
around. Before the light flashed out he noticed there 
was something different about her.... her demeanor.... 
her eyes.... they were void.... empty. She looked lost, 
as if somehow she had arrived but didn't quite know 
how.

He wondered why she wasn't with Dean and then he 
understood. They had broken up. Nothing else would 
leave her so.... dead.

Dan walked up to her and offered a jello shot. Tristan 
smirked, prepared to see Rory blow the guy off. He was 
a bum anyway.

She didn't.

Instead, she downed the shot by the time the strobe 
flashed back onto her.

She smiled but it never reached her eyes. He shivered.

Dan handed her another and Tristan clenched his fists 
as the guy obviously checked her out as he left. She 
wasn't his.... by a long shot. But he couldn't control 
the feelings of jealousy or possessiveness that coursed 
through him.

He thought that maybe he should go over and talk to her 
but he knew that he was the last person she probably 
wanted to deal with. In another flash she was gone, 
disappearing into the milling crowd.

He searched between the strobes for her familiar figure 
finding her against the wall to his right. She was a 
mere twenty feet away but it seemed so much further.

He sat back for a night of torture watching her every 
move.

*****

Her body hummed. Well at least it would be if it could 
sing.

She found herself keeping to the edges of the room 
craving the comfort and support the shadowed walls 
provided.

Suddenly, she saw him in a flash bright blue eyes 
following her and then it was black again. She moved 
slowly, eyes unmoving from that spot. The lights 
flashed back and he was still there, his eyes meeting 
hers.

Her heart fluttered and she paused as the crowd jostled 
her. She felt her heart flutter. That feeling was so 
intense with everything else numb, that she almost 
collapsed under the weight of it.

Why did HE make her feel? How did he do it?

She held her breath as the light illuminated him again. 
They were only ten feet away from each other yet the 
air was thick making it difficult for her to breath. 
The lights danced over his face and darkness hit hiding 
her shaking hands.

Then he was back, still absorbing her with such an 
intense look that made her want more. She darted to him 
and grabbed his hand, craving contact.... needing 
someone to ground her before she ceased to be. She 
closed her eyes reveling in the heat spreading in her 
stomach.

"Rory?" His voice was weak, soft, hesitant. Everything 
he was not.

She opened her eyes and smiled at him. Carefully, she 
led the way out the door and down the hall. There was a 
room on the right with a roaring fire in the fireplace. 
The library. It was deserted so she pulled Tristan in 
behind her and locked the door.

She leaned her forehead against the wood door and 
sighed.

"Rory, what's going on?" Though he was concerned she 
could also hear nervousness in his voice. Very un-
Tristan like. But then again she was acting unlike 
herself as well.

She didn't face him. Maybe he wouldn't understand. But 
then again, maybe he would.

"I'm numb."

He took a moment. "You and Dean?"

She nodded. "I can't feel." Slowly, she faced him, 
knowing what she wanted. "Make me feel." She could see 
the passion smoldering in his eyes but he didn't move. 
He was frozen in place, his breath coming in short 
rasps. If he wouldn't, she would.

She closed the gap in a whisper and pressed her lips to 
his, feeling a shudder pass through him and into her. 
His hands moved to her back, pressing her flesh against 
his hard chest making her want to feel more.

He began hesitating so Rory wound her fingers through 
his unruly hair and guided his mouth down to her neck. 
He groaned softly and nipped at the sensitive flesh.

She toyed with the hem of the soft sweater he wore as 
he moved back up to her mouth. Before he could make it, 
she lifted up on the garment helping him shrug out of 
it, leaving an expanse of delicate skin exposed.

The burning sensation inside of her intensified, 
leaving her knees weak.

Leaning his forehead against hers, he let her explore 
his chest with her shaking fingers.

Beyond the walls they could hear the countdown being 
enthusiastically yelled.

She met his eyes and felt a smile tug at her lips. 
"Happy New Year," she whispered, running a tongue 
across his bottom lip.

He took that gesture as permission to continue. He 
backed her against the heavy door attacking her mouth, 
neck, arms, anything he came into contact with.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried 
her to the over-sized couch in front of the fire. Under 
her hands she could feel the taut muscles in his back 
constricting as he easily lifted her weight. She didn't 
know what it was about that act that made her smile, 
but it did.

She found herself giggling as he gently laid her down, 
the firelight illuminating them both.

It was just so clich‚.

He quickly covered her body with his own, warming what 
the fire could not reach. Moving his way down to her 
stomach, he softly kissed the burning flesh above her 
belly button. The feel of his breath tickling her skin 
made her head spin and she welcomed the feeling.

Slowly, as if to torture her, he slid her sweater up 
and over her head, letting her fall back down to the 
couch. He sat, propped above her, eyes blazing, gulping 
in air as if he hadn't breathed in an hour.

She needed more.

She needed him.

She told him just as much. "I need you."

He growled pleasurably and she deftly moved her fidgety 
hands to the zipper on his pants. Without a moment's 
hesitation, she held her breath and pushed it down 
letting her hands travel back up to his waist to push 
down his pants as well. She prayed he didn't fight it.

To her relief, he helped her slide them gracefully off 
and onto the plush carpet below them. He cautiously 
worked at her jeans next, in what looked to be pure 
reverence. They too managed to find their way to the 
floor.

He devoured her mouth, expertly ridding them of their 
remaining articles of clothing.

A voice inside her questioned what she was doing and, 
more importantly, whom she was doing it with but she 
pushed it aside and focused on Tristan above her, 
observing her.

Did he realize just how amazing he was? If she had been 
asked that question a year prior she would've had no 
doubt in answering affirmatively. But now.... now she 
had caught a peak at his vulnerability and she knew 
there was more than a cocky attitude there.

He looked as though he wanted to say something but 
couldn't seem to get the words out. She reached up and 
softly traced his cheek and lips with her fingertips 
before leaning up to pull his lip into her mouth.

He eased his way on top of her, into her, through her.

The pain brought tears to her eyes but she welcomed it 
all. He had opened an emotional floodgate and she 
didn't want it to close.

He stopped and she held back a sob. His eyes held 
surprise and he was shaking. "You're ah, I mean you and 
Dean.... you never...?"

She shook her head, mesmerized by the conflicting 
emotions flickering in his eyes in the firelight. 
Frozen in place, his breathing became sharp. She put a 
finger over his lips and slowly moved beneath him, 
adjusting to him.

Gradually he took control, searching her face for 
something she couldn't give him. They picked up their 
rhythm and she found herself clinging desperately onto 
him. Lightheaded, she pulled away from his intoxicating 
lips. Tears found their way down her cheeks and she 
smiled.

"Tristan," she called out, as her mind was hit 
forcefully with sensation after sensation. Closing her 
eyes against the onslaught, she felt him shudder above 
her groaning her name before weakly falling onto her.

Her body was still tingling when he withdrew and slid 
next to her, turning her and pulling her body to him. 
She lay there, feeling his slowing heart pound against 
her back enjoying the feeling of his body curling 
around her, fitting her perfectly.

She relaxed and melted into him. Her eyelids became 
heavy and she let them close, finally unafraid.


CHAPTER 3: That Was Then, This Is Now.


Tristan was afraid to move, frightened that it would 
shatter the moment and take the angel in his arms away 
from him.

Angel, huh. He realized tonight that she had a little 
devil in her too.

When she had said she was numb, he had known exactly 
how she felt. The difference was that he felt that way 
all the time. It was an odd sensation, being empty.... 
void, at first but he learned how to steal moments with 
a girl here and a girl there. But it never lasted 
long.... at least until he met her.

With one glance, she set his body trembling, with a 
touch he lost all ability to speak. She was an enigma 
to him and he loved every moment of it. So when she 
approached him, so lost in the shadows, he knew what 
she was going through. He knew that he was lucky that 
he happened to be there because she could have easily 
chosen anyone, WOULD have chosen anyone else.

He didn't take offense; after all he had done it to 
countless girls himself, but he couldn't help but smile 
at the fact that he had been used. Never in a million 
years would he have imagined that happening. But he 
embraced the thought because it meant that he had one 
night, one amazing night with the girl of his dreams 
and he wouldn't have given that up for the world.

Her breathing became even and steady and he leaned down 
inhaling her sweet scent. She smelled like strawberries 
and champagne though the former was probably for the 
jello shots she had downed earlier.

As she slept peacefully in his arms he realized what he 
needed to do. It wouldn't be easy but he had to.... for 
her.

She had needed the act, the comfort, not him. It would 
never be him and he would accept that and move on.

He would leave her alone.

But not at the moment. Nothing short of a nuclear bomb 
could tear him away from her at the moment.

He reached above his head to the blanket draped over 
the arm of the couch and carefully spread it over them 
before letting the fire and the company loll him to 
sleep.

*****

Rory woke up groggily. She moved her foot 
experimentally and instantly stopped. The fuzzy blanket 
on top of her was unfamiliar and she began to panic 
when she couldn't remember anything.

Hesitantly, she opened her eyes and blinked until a 
fireplace came into view.

A fireplace?

A soft moan erupted behind her and she identified the 
weight across her waist as an arm. Suddenly, she was 
assaulted by the vivid memories, one after another. She 
unconsciously blushed, unbelieving.

And then it hit harder. She and Dean had broken up.

Maybe she could talk to him, explain to him. But how 
could she explain that while she refused to sleep with 
him even after two years, here she was, quite naked 
with someone whom, on a good day, she claimed to hate.

No, she had condemned her relationship the moment she 
had locked eyes with Tristan.

Tristan.

The moment they shared together proved just how gentle 
and caring he could be. She knew he had done it many 
times before but even still, it had been special.

The fire crackled loudly and a log shifted sending a 
cascade of sparkles into the air.

Tristan flinched and she felt him start to wake. Now 
came the awkward part. He instantly withdrew his arm as 
if she had burned him.

"Hey," he whispered, yet it had lost the element of 
softness it had had before.

"Hey." She pulled away form him feeling her skin slide 
against his sending shivers down her spine. No, she 
shouldn't feel that way. Not now. Not him.

"Well, we couldn't have been out for too long. The 
party's still going on."

Rory suddenly heard the music gently throbbing in the 
background.

Tristan cleared his throat and reached for his boxers 
at the bottom of the couch. He slid into them and 
slipped over her, letting her have the blanket. She 
wrapped it tightly around her, embarrassed. Watching 
Tristan, she felt an empty thrum in her stomach as he 
went around collecting their discarded clothing. He 
placed hers on the couch next to her and got dressed, 
never one making eye contact.

For a moment they both awkwardly shuffled and then he 
met her eyes. The normally crystal blue were cloudy and 
unreadable.

"I'll um, I'll leave you to get dressed." He took a 
breath as if to say something else but instead shook 
his head and stepped out the door.

Rory quickly dressed.

*****

He stepped out of the room and felt a tear slip down 
his cheek. Angrily he wiped it away and eased back into 
the party. It wasn't as crowded as before but there was 
still a large chunk of people dancing.

"Tristan!" Louise came up behind him, dragging a 
seductive finger across his back and around to his 
chest. "And where did you disappear to? Hmm?"

As much as he wanted to stand in the middle of the room 
and yell at the top of his lungs that he had just made 
love to Rory Gilmore, he couldn't. He refused to taint 
her. Nobody would ever taint her as long as he was 
around.

"I've been around," he replied cryptically. "What time 
is it?"

"Around 1:30."

Happy New Year.

He smiled flirtatiously, surprised that it still came 
naturally to him, and faded away into the shadows near 
the wall. When Rory emerged, he didn't want to be in 
eyesight. It was hard enough as it was.

Luckily for him, Louise gave up on him and turned to 
the next unsuspecting victim.

He leaned against the wall and shoved his hands into 
his pockets just as she stumbled thought the doorway. 
Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself and it 
took all his strength not to run over there and comfort 
her.

He clenched his fist.

Watching her walk with a little bit of trouble, he 
noticed that her legs looked weak and sore. He did that 
to her. Oh God, he was going to be sick. Her hair was 
messy and she furtively darted her eyes around.

Was she looking for him?

Who was he kidding? He shouldn't get his hopes up. She 
was probably trying to avoid him. Well, he would make 
it easy for her.

She finally reached the other side of the room with 
only a few curious glances thrown her way and then 
disappeared from sight out the door. He found himself 
following her, needing to make sure she made it to her 
car all right.

Leaving his jacket in the coatroom, he followed her 
outside and spotted her at the bottom of the driveway 
struggling with her keys. He slipped down after her, 
sticking to the darkness of the trees in the yard. He 
saw the shaking of her shoulders before he noticed the 
tears streaming down her face. He became sick all over 
again. He would never be able to look at her beautiful 
face again without seeing the pain he put her through.

Her car pulled away and he felt his body fall to the 
soft grass below him, unable to stop the sobs from 
coming.



CHAPTER 4: Blown Away


Rory groaned and tried to ignore the finger that was 
annoyingly poking her side.

"Rory..." her mother whined. "Hey, wake up. You've 
slept half the day already."

Her head pounded slightly but she tried to ignore it as 
she blinked against the sunlight that was streaming in 
through the slits in the blinds. Squinting, she found 
everything blurry. Yep, definitely a sign that she 
should go back to sleep.

"No," she said resolutely, burying her face deep into 
her pillow. "I want to go back to sleep." As muffled as 
it was, she knew Lorelai fully understood it's meaning.

"Oh no you don't, sleepy head. You and I need to talk."

She sighed deeply into her pillow before giving up. 
When her mom was determined there was no stopping her. 
Dragging herself up into a sitting position, she 
attempted to tame her hair.

Amused, her mom watched for a moment before joining her 
on the bed, propping herself up against the pillows. 
"So talk."

Rory stared at her blankly. "About what?"

"Hmm..... perhaps about Dean proposing and then you two 
having a very public break-up and then disappearing to 
a Chilton party instead of getting me and then when you 
got home, you didn't even wake me up like you 
promised!"

Guilt was nothing new in their small but close-knit 
family. It was how they got what they wanted, so Rory 
brushed it off with a sigh. Her mother was only trying 
to find out what had happened.

"Sorry, I just.... everything's fuzzy." She slouched a 
bit and hugged a pillow to her chest. "I can't believe 
he proposed!" She found herself giggling. "What was he 
thinking?"

Lorelai leaned her head on Rory's shoulder. "Was the 
diamond big?"

Rory snorted. "Oh yeah, two months salary for a bag boy 
is just way too much to spend on a ring." Though the 
pain in her head had subsided to a dull throb, it had 
still not dissipated from her heart.

"Well, it's a good thing that you said no then. 
Wouldn't want you to get arm cramps from the weight of 
it."

"Yeah," Rory said quietly. "Good thing."

They sat absorbed in their own thoughts. Between the 
two of them, silent moments were few and far between so 
Rory took advantage of it.

Lorelai was the one to break it. "Have you not stressed 
your dream of Harvard enough to him? Does he not 
realize that you're leaving for four years, maybe 
more?"

"That's exactly the problem. It's like he wants to 
'stake his claim' on me before I go."

"What's wrong with that? Sounds kinda obsessive but 
sweet in a Dean sort of way."

Rory thought about that. What WAS so wrong with it? "I 
don't know.... I just.... I love him but I don't want 
to go away constantly thinking about him, missing him."

"So you knew it was coming? The break up, I mean."

Sometimes her mom surprised her with her astuteness. 
This was one of those times. She had a way of making 
Rory realize exactly how she felt without forcing her 
into it. "I guess I did," she conceded. "Although it's 
sooner than I expected."

Lorelai patted her daughter's knee affectionately. "How 
about we go rent a bunch of movies and escape reality 
all day."

Rory found herself smiling despite the emptiness she 
still felt. "Sounds great."

Once her mom had gone, Rory sunk back down into the 
thick blankets. She wanted to tell her everything. She 
really did. But she was afraid that she wouldn't 
understand.

Tristan DuGrey had been the bane of her existence from 
day one at Chilton. She had done nothing but complain 
about him. How could she now tell her that while 
everything had been cold, hard.... distant, he had been 
warm, soft.... REAL.

That thought scared her.

Although she had had some alcohol, she knew she hadn't 
been drunk. She had known exactly what she was doing 
and she did not regret whom she had done it with.

She had used him. Flat out took advantage of him, but 
he was the only one who she couldn't feel sorry for. He 
had been trying to bed her for two years now and now 
that he had, his crusade was over. He would move on 
without giving her a second thought.

She ignored the lump in her throat as she contemplated 
that.

So no, she wouldn't tell her mom. Plus, if she did, 
Lorelai would insist on putting her on birth control

Rory stopped breathing.

God, how could she have been so stupid? They hadn't 
used any kind of protection. Nothing.

No, she definitely would not be sharing how idiotic she 
had been the night before.

That decided, she got up, thankful that she still had 
two and a half weeks until she had to go back to school 
and face him.

*****

The breeze picked her hair up off her shoulders and 
Rory pulled the jacket tighter around her body. She sat 
in the town's center park, thoughts dwelling 
dangerously close to the events of a week before. She 
couldn't keep her mind off of Tristan.

She saw the way his eyes flickered in the firelight

No, she wouldn't go there.

"I didn't realize how entertaining watching stores was. 
I've been missing out on a lot."

Rory felt a grin spread as he sat down next to her and 
slung an arm comfortably over her shoulders.

"Hey Jess." She turned to study his face, rosy from the 
crisp air. A few days before, she had confided in him 
and she hadn't regretted the decision yet.

"Hey yourself." He became serious, his brows creasing 
in concern. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine." Yes, she told him what had happened with 
Tristan but she refused to acknowledge the twist her 
thoughts had recently become to take.

"Yeah, freezing to death for two hours, staring off 
into space shows just how fine you are."

Rory genuinely smiled. "Really, I'm okay. Just 
thinking."

He stood up in front of her, towering over her. "Why 
don't you come inside with me and think where it's 
warm."

"Okay, but only if there's coffee involved." She 
glanced down at the leaves the wind was blowing around. 
They dipped and danced around his feet.

"I think I could swing it." He offered his hand and she 
was instantly grateful that she had a friend like him. 
She slipped her mitten-clad hand in his and looked up, 
startled to see two pairs of eyes staring down at her.

"Dean...." she subconsciously whispered.

Jess turned and nodded his head to Dean, dropping her 
hand. Dean acknowledged him and they both looked to 
Rory.

"Come by later, okay?" Jess asked slowly, his eyes 
betraying his calm countenance. He was worried about 
her and she would love him forever for that.

She nodded and watched him walk back to the diner 
across the street.

Dean hesitated and then sat silently beside her.

She looked down at his hands clasping and unclasping. 
They were the same hands that used to make her knees 
weak with they slipped through her hair, but now they 
looked different.

"I'm sorry." His voice was quiet and was almost blown 
away with the wind.

"Me too."

She took a chance and looked up into his eyes, noticing 
the spark they usually ignited in her was absent.

"I won't lie. This hurts me more than I thought 
possible, but I love you Rory. I'll do anything for 
you."

"Then you'll be my friend and give me time."

He sucked in a shaky breath. "If that's what you want, 
I'll try."

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Thank you." She 
had held his hand countless times before but this time 
it was lacking something.

He smiled, trying to conceal the pain he felt, but she 
saw right through him. They had been through a lot 
together and Rory was certain they would survive this 
as well.

He was one of her best friends.

Comfortably, they sat side by side, holding hands and 
listening to the wind.



CHAPTER 5: If You Need Me


The day had dragged on for Rory and she just wanted it 
to be over. She tried to keep her mind off of the next 
day because the thought of it sent her stomach flip-
flopping. So she was trying to read one of her favorite 
stories Pride and Prejudice. Even that wasn't helping 
too much which was why she was thankful when somebody 
tapped on her bedroom door.

"Come in!" she called, too lazy to actually get up.

The door swung open with a loud whoosh. "So are you 
ready for tomorrow?"

Rory grimaced. So much for a distraction. She turned 
her attention back down to the novel in her hands.

"Don't remind me," she grumbled, hoping he would drop 
it and go away. No such luck. Jess plopped down next to 
her on the bed.

"You know that you're excited to see him," he teased. 
There was no mistaking who the 'him' was he was 
referring to.

Tristan.

She couldn't get him off her mind for the past two 
weeks. He haunted her dreams and consumed her thoughts. 
She constantly wondered what he was doing. How he was 
doing.... WHO he was doing.

Did he ever think of her or the amazing moment they had 
shared? Probably not. She sighed loudly hoping to get 
her annoyance with this subject across to him. Jess 
simply kissed the top of her head.

To be honest, she was thankful she had him around. She 
didn't know what she would've done if he hadn't been 
there for her these past weeks. Not that he like 
Tristan though, in fact, he utterly despised the guy 
even though he'd never met him.

She'd tried explaining to him that she was the one who 
practically seduced HIM but he wouldn't hear of it. 
Jess said that the guy was always at fault, whatever 
that meant.

He thought that with her alcohol consumption and the 
fact that Dean had JUST broken up with her, Tristan had 
taken advantage of HER.

"So what do you want to do on your last day of 
freedom?"

She closed her book and tossed it on her desk. "I 
dunno. Whadja have in mind?"

"Oh, I thunk we could go wrassle up some of them there 
movin' pictures and then kill us a goat."

Rory rolled her eyes and laid down on her back, staring 
up at him. "This is a small town, but it's not THAT 
small."

He chose to ignore her. "And then I thought we could go 
cow tipping. It's a recognized Olympic sport now, you 
know."

"Hmm. How ignorant I am. I was unaware of that. Thank 
God, I have you around to teach me the ways of the 
world."

"I'll get some culture in you yet." He stood up 
suddenly. "Come on. What do you want to do?"

Sitting up, she thought about that. "Honestly, I feel 
like wallowing in my 'vacation's over' self-pity."

Jess gaped in mock surprise before going to her closet 
and pulling out some tennis shoes. "Not allowed. This 
is Jess you're talking to, King of Mischief"

"A self appointed title," she interrupted giggling as 
he tried to pull the shoes on her feet.

"I'm choosing to ignore that." He finally got one on so 
he began struggling with the other. "But anyways we can 
scrounge up some sort of trouble that irks poor 
Taylor."

She scoffed. "Ah, Taylor's boring now. How about Kirk?"

"Okay, the forever bachelor it is. Let's go." She 
looked down to find both shoes on and tied.

"Um, that's all fine and dandy but they're on the wrong 
feet."

Jess quickly lifted her feet examining them, confused.

"Made you look." She giggled.

"What are you, ten?" he asked, but was chuckling as 
well.

He started to the door, grabbing both their jackets and 
she surprised herself by following. What was she 
getting herself into?

The second he opened the door, Lorelai yelled from the 
living room. "What are you two doing? Can I do it too? 
I'm bored."

Rory looked to Jess who was smirking. "Thank God we're 
not into anything kinky," he whispered, eyebrows 
raised. 

Rory smacked him and then led the way to the couch 
where her mother was perched upside down watching some 
MTV special. Jess casually leaned forward and lightly 
wiggled a finger in her side, causing her to squeal and 
fall at the same time.

"Oof," she cried, rubbing her head and glaring.

Rory ignored the injury. She was like a little kid. If 
you made a big deal about it then she would cry and 
pout and never let it go but if you ignored it she 
would forget just as quickly. "We're gonna go play with 
Kirk."

"Since when did you revert to the first grade? Wait 
Kirk?"

Jess rolled his eyes. "Lorelai, it's me here. Do you 
really think we're gonna go over there and play 
hopscotch?"

Rory saw her mom's eyes light up and she groaned. 

"Now there's an idea!" Lorelai sat up hurt head 
forgotten. "Hopscotch! I've got chalk!"

Jess collapsed onto the couch next to Rory probably 
realizing that it wasn't going to be a quick escape. "I 
don't even want to know why you have chalk."

"Remember when those pesky termites attacked the 
porch?"

Jess shook his head. "Really, I don't want to know."

Her mom continued rattling on. "And Luke came over to 
try to get rid of them?"

With a pained expression, Jess looked to Rory. "Don't 
look at me buster. You started her on this tangent with 
the hopscotch comment."

"And he went around making all those little marks that 
didn't seem to be doing anything but encouraging those 
annoying buggers to migrate. So, I went out shopping 
and came back with those cute pumps to match my purple 
suit and Luke told me they were tacky and made my feet 
look big."

"That WAS pretty funny mom. You almost killed Babbett's 
gnome when your shoe missed him."

"Yeah, well I stole his chalk."

Sometimes Rory felt as though she was the mature one in 
her family.

Jess grinned. "Ooh. Good revenge. Stealing a person's 
chalk can be considered a capital offense you know."

Lorelai glared at him. "So you're going to go play jump 
rope with Kirk?" she said pointedly.

He sighed. "No, we're going to mess with him. Play a 
joke if you will."

Her mom brightened. "Oh! I wanna go! Please let me go! 
I can be stealthy and stuff. I've watched Mission 
Impossible a million times."

"She has," Rory interjected, reaching across Jess to 
her mom's soda on the end table.

Jess' jaw dropped. "Mission Impossible! Sacrilege! 
We're doing it James Bond style."

"But Tom Cruise is sexier."

"Are you forgetting about Sean Connery, mom?"

"Ooh, he's definitely sexy."

"Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan."

"Okay, I get the point."

Jess stood up. "Do you two want to go or not?"

"Yes!" Rory flinched at the new octaves her mom hit. 
"I'll be right back." She stomped up the stairs before 
either of them had a chance to say anything.

Jess sat back down and put his head in his hands. "What 
is she doing? Should we run?"

Knowing how long her mother could take, Rory laid down, 
plopping her head comfortably in Jess' lap. "Probably 
but my curiosity is getting the best of me. So what are 
we doing to Kirk?"

"That's a surprise."

"Frightening."

"What?"

"I'm voluntarily wrecking havoc with you. I really 
shouldn't have finished that paper before Christmas. 
I'm in desperate need of homework."

"Soon enough." She looked up into his eyes as he gently 
ran his hands through her hair. There was something 
there, in his smoky eyes that she couldn't place.

Lorelai chose that moment to hop down the stairs 
dressed completely in black from her boots to her 
jacket and ski cap.

"I'm ready."

Rory snorted. "To what, rob a bank?" Jess was laughing 
so hard, Rory had to sit up for fear she would have 
been tossed from his lap.

"You two ruin all my fun. Now come on! Let's go!"

*****

"Mom, would you stop doing that?"

"I'm not doing anything."

"Yes you are. You're walking funky." Rory stifled a 
giggle as her mom almost lost her balance stepping off 
a curb.

Jess walked past them. "Try bending your knees Ms. 
Gilmore," he threw over his shoulder.

"Oh, you did not just 'Ms. Gilmore' me, you hooligan. 
I'm gonna get you for that one!" She tried to run after 
him but she couldn't seem to move too easily. Her jeans 
were abnormally tight. Suddenly, Rory recognized them.

"Weren't those mine? I thought they were given away at 
one of the rummage sales."

She turned stiffly towards her daughter. "Yes and no. I 
couldn't find any other black pants at the moment."

"I grew out of them years ago, no wonder you're 
breathing so hard."

Jess whipped around sending each of them a warning 
glare. "You both better stop talking or I'm turning 
back to Luke's."

"Okay," they both grumbled simultaneously and then 
giggled conspiratorially.

"So what's the plan 007?"

His shoulders tensed as he faced them. "The plan is for 
you two to shut up for a few minutes while we sneak up 
to THAT window." He pointed to a small side window at 
Kirk's small house a few doors down.

Nervously, Rory nodded and followed him, holding her 
mother's hand. She peeked through the window and found 
an empty kitchen with only a lone pot on the stove. She 
heard Jess unzip the backpack that he had picked up at 
Luke's and she turned to see him pull out a video 
camera.

Lorelai looked bored. "Umm, Jess, what are we doing? 
Are we going to, gasp, catch him cooking? Unbelievable, 
yes but humiliating? No."

"Just wait," he hissed back.

Suddenly a stereo in another room came to life blasting 
a familiar beat. Rory recognized the beginning of 
"Roxanne" by the Police just as Kirk came dancing in 
wearing only a pair of tighty-whities.

"Oh, eww!" Lorelai cried, covering her face with her 
hand but Rory caught her peeking through her fingers 
grinning wildly.

Jess began taping as Kirk grabbed a wooden spoon and 
used it as a makeshift microphone. He shook his quote 
on quote stuff as he poured a bag off noodles into the 
pot. Rory felt violated. She felt as if she were 
watching the downfall of mankind yet she couldn't seem 
to drag her eyes away. It was mesmerizing in a 
terrifying way. It was kinda like a car accident. It's 
a horrible travesty but you can't help but look.

The song ended as quickly as it began, much to Rory's 
relief and Jess switched off the camera, signaling for 
them to follow.

They walked silently, too stunned to talk until Lorelai 
began to manically giggle. "I can't wait to tell Luke!"

Jess' smirk faltered. "No, you can't. It'll ruin the 
surprise."

Rory suddenly became worried. She hoped Jess wouldn't 
be too mean to Kirk. "What are you going to do with the 
tape?"

"Oh, don't worry. It'll pop up sooner or later. 
Patience is key."

They reached the entrance to Luke's and Lorelai 
carefully waddled up the steps. "I'm going in, you two 
coming?"

Rory smiled faintly at her mom as she thought about the 
next day. She was surprised that Jess had been able to 
distract her as long as he had. "Nah, it's late. I'm 
gonna head home."

"Okay sweetie. See you in a bit." She turned to Jess.

"I'm gonna walk her. Make sure she doesn't get mugged 
or anything."

Lorelai nodded seriously. "What would we do without 
you?" 

They watched her walk into the diner in time to hear 
Luke exclaim, "What the hell are you wearing?"

Rory turned her attention to Jess as they slowly walked 
home.

"Thank you for tonight. You completely took my mind off 
of things." 

He grinned slyly and took her hand in his. "Anytime 
Rory, anytime."

They walked in comfortably silence and Rory enjoyed the 
comfort his hand offered.

"How about I pick you up after school tomorrow? We can 
bum around the mall and celebrate the fact that you 
survived the day."

"That is IF I survive. Thanks but no thanks. By the 
time you could get down there, I would already be home 
if I took the bus."

"Ah, but you forget. I do not have a last period." He 
gave her puppy dog eyes and she gave in without a 
fight. She loved being on the back of his motorcycle.

"Fine. Meet me in front of the school," she said 
curtly.

"It's okay. You don't have to pretend to be put out. I 
know you're excited."

"You wish."

"You'll hardly be able to sleep tonight because you 
won't be able to get it off your mind."

"No my sleeplessness will definitely be attributed to 
Kirk dancing around in his underwear. I don't even want 
to know how you knew he would do that. That's just 
disturbing."

They reached her darkened porch and she walked in.

"How many time have I told you two to lock your door?" 

"Probably around a hundred." Stripping off her jacket, 
she tossed it to the couch.

"Actually more like fifty but why don't you listen to 
me?"

"Because this is Stars Hollow." She continued on to her 
room and chuckled when she heard him lock the door 
before following. Turning on her light, she grabbed a 
large Harvard shirt Jess had bought her the last time 
they went to visit. He walked in and went straight to 
her CD player.

She slipped the shirt on and then stripped out of her 
clothes underneath the protective covering of the huge 
shirt.

"Where's my CD?"

"You mean the Metallica one that you were hiding from 
my mom?"

He looked at her, his eyes narrowing. "The one and the 
same," he said suspiciously.

"My mom found it and is currently holding it ransom for 
her CD."

"Which one?"

"The one you threw out the window on the way to 
grandma's last week."

He smirked. "She was pretty pissed wasn't she?"

Rory giggled and slid under her warm covers. He 
casually climbed over her and lay down next to her on 
his back.

"What are you doing?"

"It's early. You couldn't possibly be going to sleep 
now."

Rory pointed at the clock that read 10:05. He looked. 
"Oh."

She looked at him, surprised to find his head already 
turned to her. They were close, about two inches from 
each other.

And then he closed the gap and kissed her. 

It was slow, sweet, and soft but it was missing 
something. She kissed him back but it never deepened. A 
few seconds later, he pulled away and smiled.

"Sorry," he whispered. She shrugged, perplexed. "I just 
wanted to see what it was like."

"What was it like?"

"Honestly? Like I was kissing my sister."

She sighed and giggled. "Same here. But a manly 
sister." She dragged her finger across the scruff on 
his chin. Ignoring the glare he sent her way, she laid 
her head on his chest and listened to his steady 
heartbeat.

Surprisingly, that kiss did not create a rift between 
them like it would've done to most but instead pulled 
them closer together. They shared something that most 
friends never did and it made them stronger.

She felt her eyes become tired and she let them close.

"I love you, Jess," she mumbled sleepily.

She felt him wrap his arms around her and kiss her 
head. "Love you too, kiddo."

***

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Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of
the hands of children. They should be outside playing
in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.

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