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                 K R I S T E N' S    C O L L E C T I O N


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Archive name: homejill.txt (self, celeb)
Authors name: Nebulosa 
Story Title : "Jill's Dildo Machine"
(A Home Improvement parody)

 ------------------------------------------------------
 This work is copyrighted to the author (c) 1996.
 Please do not remove the author information or make
 any changes to this story. You may post freely to non-
 commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of
 commercial sites. Thank you for your consideration.
 ------------------------------------------------------

	Jill grabbed the pile of paper from the printer
 and handed it to Tim. "Here.  You're always building
 things for yourself; I want you to build this for me.
 For once it will be something I can use."

	Tim looked at the mess of paper and started
 reading.  It was a jumbled collection of ideas and
 opinions about how to build your very own dildo fucking
 machine.  "Where'd you get this, Jill?" Tim asked, sur-
 prised.

	"Remember when we got the computer and signed up
 to get internet access?"

	"Yeah..."

	"And then I signed up for that night class to
 learn about the internet?"

	Tim nodded.

	"Well," she sighed, "I met this person there who
 showed me how to access something called Usenet News
 and I found this one newsgroup called alt.sex.stories."

	Tim's head jerked back and his eyes widened.

	"You wouldn't believe some of the stories people
 write there.  It's amazing; I even found a couple of
 stories about us.  You should've seen the things that
 we did in these stories."

	"W-wa-wait a second..." he shook his head.

	"Just let me finish." Jill interrupted.  "I
 found this," she pointed to the pile of papers in Tim's
 hands, "mixed in with all of the stories.  I thought it
 would be the perfect project for you.  All I ask is
 that you don't try to 'soup it up.'"

	"Aw, now Jill..."

	"Promise." she cut him off again.

	"Okay, okay.  I won't modify it... too much."

 		   ****************

	Tim saw the top of Wilson's head above the
 fence.  "Is that you, Wilson?"

	"Hi-de-ho, good neighbor." came the reply.

	"Wilson, one of the guys at the hardware store
 was telling me that his wife wanted him to build her a
 sex machine.  I thought it was kind of weird.  What do
 you think?"

	"Well Tim, I think I would go ahead and build
 it for her.  It's probably just a passing fad.  She'll
 probably play with it a few times and then forget about
 it.  On the other hand, this could really get her hot
 and the unnamed gentleman would be the lucky recipient
 of the side benefits."

	"Uh, thanks Wilson." Tim strolled back to the
 house.

	Tim thought about what his neighbor had said and
 decided he would build the machine.  He kept thinking
 about how hot his wife would get and fantasized about
 the things she would do after riding such a machine. 
 The more he fantasized, the bigger his plans got for
 the machine.

	Tim read all the descriptions and plans and be-
 gan gathering the necessary hardware; and in the Tim
 Taylor tradition, selected some slightly more indus-
 trial strength components for the machine he would
 build.

	He replaced the diminutive sewing machine motor
 with an industrial vacuum cleaner motor.  "Three horse-
 power at fifteen thousand RPMs," he half-grunted/half-
 laughed, "That ought to liven things up a bit."

	For a speed control he took the power control
 out of his old arc welder. "Two hundred fifty amps...
 Jill's really going to thank me for this."

	He had to get a few odds and ends from the hard-
 ware store and his buddies were bugging him about what
 he was building.  At first he wouldn't budge but
 finally gave in.  He leaned toward them, and they to
 him, "It's a sex machine for Jill." Tim whispered.

	They all cracked up laughing, chiding him about
 not being man enough to take care of her by himself.

	"You guys can laugh all you want," he retorted,
 "It just goes to show that I am willing to do a little
 extra for my wife."

	He bought the needed parts and left, muttering,
 "When all this is over, they'll be asking me to build
 one for each of their women."

	"We'll be watching to see how big a smile Jill
 has on her face." Al yelled out the door, and the
 others all laughed.

	Next was a stop at the local sex toy shop.  Tim
 acquired a small collection of dildos of various shapes
 and sizes.

	When he was finally done building his version of
 the machine it was the size of a two-drawer file
 cabinet and weighed almost 100 pounds.

	Tim plugged the machine into the electrical out-
 let and started it.  He had the power control turned
 all the way down and the machine hummed gently.

	Slowly, he turned the knob to increase the
 power.  The oversized motor started turning and he
 watched as the dildo pumped up and down.  He adjusted
 the stroke and smiled as he changed them from half-inch
 oscillations to nearly six-inch long strokes.  He set
 it back to about three inches and started cranking up
 the speed.  The machine started sounding more and more
 like a jet engine as the speed increased.  The plastic
 phallus was just a blur by now.

	"Woah, I guess I'll have to be careful about
 that."

	He readjusted the machine to a more human
 (humane?) speed and shut it off.

	"Jill is going to love this thing, but I think
 I'll wait until this weekend to show it to her." he
 muttered to himself as he wheeled the massive sex
 machine over to the corner of the workshop and piled
 some paneling in front of it.

		    ****************

	Brad moved the paneling away from his dad's new
 invention.  He just had to see what his dad had been
 building.  He plugged in the machine and turned it on.
 It started humming and he suddenly saw the dildo pump-
 ing up and down.  It took him a moment to realize what
 it all meant.  After the realization set in, he stared
 in awe at the machine and began ((daydreaming))

	((He is leading his girlfriend Jennifer through
 the workshop to this very corner.  She is protesting
 slightly, "Brad, I don't want to see another of your
 father's inventions.  They never work."))

	(("C'mon Jennifer, this one is different. You'll
 like it.  I promise." he grinned.))

	((She stared wide-eyed at the sex machine as he
 rotated the power switch and it came to life.))

	(("Why don't you try it out, Jen?"))

	((She stripped off her tight clothes and climbed
 aboard.  Her body shuddered as the plastic cock invaded
 her tight pussy.)) Keep in mind Brad is day-dreaming
 here.

	Brad watched the machine, imagining his girl-
 friend riding it.  He started cranking up the speed
 and could almost see her body rocking and her head
 twisting from side to side.  Without thinking, he
 turned the knob too far and it broke off in his hand.
 This seemed to break him out of his little fantasy.
 He quickly unplugged the machine and stuck the knob
 back on.  He piled the paneling back in front of the
 device and decided it best to retire to his room for
 an extended jack-off session to the image he'd just
 created.

		    ****************

	Tim lugged the machine into the bedroom, covered
 it with a sheet, and tied a ribbon around it.  He was
 proud of himself for finishing it so quickly.

	That night Jill got dressed for bed and didn't
 even notice the new addition to their bedroom.

	"Honey, I have something for you over here?" Tim
 pointed.

	Jill strolled over to that side of the bedroom,
 her breasts swaying and bouncing as she walked, "What
 is it?"

	"Untie the ribbon and you'll see."

	She pulled the ribbon off and uncovered the
 mechanical beast her husband had built.  "Oh my God,
 Tim!  You did it.  You built it.  But how does it
 work?"

	"Just climb on and I'll show you." he sneered.

	"Not on your life, Pal.  I'm not going to be
 your guinea pig.  I want you to demonstrate it for me."

	"What do you mean, Jill?"

	"I mean I want you to climb on and show me it's
 safe.  I know how you like to give everything 'more
 power.'"

	"Aw, come on Honey; you know I don't go for that
 kind of thing."

	"If you really loved me, you'd do it." she
 pouted.

	Tim knew he was in a bind now.  He decided it
 wouldn't be so bad.  After all, he'd left the machine
 turned down on low when he tested it.  He checked the
 knob just to make sure it was still on low.

	Jill got out a tube of KY jelly and greased up
 the dildo and her husband's behind.

	Tim started climbing on the machine and hesi-
 tated.

	Jill pointed at the plastic cock, "Sit."

	Very slowly, he lowered himself on the dildo. 
 Finally he was seated firmly on the seat with about
 three inches of plastic buried in his lower anatomy.

	"Okay Jill, don't touch any of the knobs.  Just
 turn it on with that switch." he pointed.

	When she turned on the switch, the lights dimmed
 and the oversized motor groaned to life.  It quickly
 gained speed and was soon pummeling his insides at an
 unbelievable rate.

	Tim was overcome by the intensity of the
 experience and was soon howling. Jill couldn't tell if
 it was pleasure or pain but very shortly her husband
 was shooting his cum everywhere as he writhed on top
 of the beast.

	He screamed at her to shut it off but she
 couldn't because she was laughing too hard.

	It wasn't long before he was just a quivering
 mass on top of his invention. She finally managed to
 turn the machine off between her fits of laughter.
 Tim collapsed on top of the machine. "I won't be able
 to sit for days." He whined as he raised his head.

	"Well move over big boy, I think I'll try it
 next," Jill said with a sparkle in her eyes. . .

			--End--

                    Kristen's collection - Directory 6