("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._ `6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`) (_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-' _..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,' (((' (((-((('' (((( K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N _________________________________________ WARNING! This text file contains sexually explicit material. If you do not wish to read this type of literature, or you are under age, PLEASE DELETE THIS FILE NOW!!!! _________________________________________ Scroll down to view text Archive name: cosbys.txt (MF, ped, inc, exh, TV parody) Authors name: RadioDaze (dwprivateeye3@juno.com) Story title : Cosby Show, The -------------------------------------------------------- This work is copyrighted to the author © 2003. Please don't remove the author information or make any changes to this story. You may post freely to non-commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites. Thank you for your consideration. -------------------------------------------------------- The Cosby Show (MF, ped, inc, exh, TV parody) by RadioDaze (dwprivateeye3@juno.com) *** An evening with the Huxtables as they attempt to teach their youngest daughter about the birds and bees through show-n-tell. *** {The Birds and The Bees: the lost episode} Clair and her husband, Dr. Huxtable, was arguing about their youngest daughter, Rudy's home sex education. Clair wanted her husband Cliff to join in like he had done with the other three girl children when their time had come. Dr. Huxtable thought that the times had changed from the old show-n-tell method he had used on the older three girls. But it didn't take much persuading for Clair to convince her husband, Dr. Huxtable, that their youngest daughter, Rudy, would be more eager and willing to learn than the other children before her. So on one free Saturday evening on the sofa when all the other children except Rudy are out and away from home, the lesson began. Clair stood in back of the sofa while the precocious six- year-old child and her father sat together in front. After the fairy tale story about the stork and the baby, Dr. Huxtable looked into the bright, lovely, brown eyes of his daughter and told her that he has something else special to show her. Rudy sat on the edge of the sofa clasping her small fingers together. Standing behind them Clair began to smirk at the clumsy, mischievous, boyish grin of her husband. They were both into their forties but Heathcliff Huxtable could behave like such a naughty boy at times. Clair looked down at the neatly parted scalp down the middle of her daughter's shinny black hair, forming two thick plaits tied in red ribbons on either side of her small head. "Cliff!" Clair exclaimed, slapping the shoulder of her husband in admonishment. "What? I'm just going to show the child, Clair, what the stork uses to get the baby here, that's all. Do you mind?" Dr. Huxtable glanced back at his wife with a naughty smirk of his own. His words came slow, deliberate and explanatory. His whole demeanor was slow and deliberate. A man of patience, especially with children. "You see the stork comes-- and then the baby-- and the poop-- and the breast feeding -- and the sperm-- and the egg-- and then the college fund... anyway, this is what I wanted to show you." "Alright, Cliff. But I don't want any part of it," Clair declares with a hint of playful pomposity to what her husband was about to do. She covered her eyes with her fingers, peaking through the cracks as Dr. Huxtable slowly, meticulously unzipped his zipper. "And it comes out like this," he carefully reached his hand inside his trousers and extracted himself. Rudy's hands flew to her open mouth, her eyes large as saucers. "Wow!" Rudy exclaimed. "Didn't I tell you that I had one?" Dr. Huxtable says to the child with a wide mischievous grin across his face, shaking his head teasingly. "Can I touch it?" Rudy quickly, excitedly chirps. "No. No you can't touch it," Dr. Huxtable protest in fake abhorrence, frowning. "You mind as well let her touch it, Cliff," Clair chimed in with an air of logic, being the Lawyer she was. "No. No, Clair. She's just a child. She cannot touch it. She can't touch it because it's mine, see-- and unless I want her to touch it," Cliff pouted. "Anyhow, I thought you wanted no part of this," Dr. Huxtable looks at his wife over the shoulder, teasing. "I mind as well help, Cliff, if she's going to learn anything from us two old birds," Clair teased. "Well, can I?" Rudy chirps again impatiently. "Well, child, yes you may," Dr. Huxtable answers his youngest daughter's request with a wide grin mocking his wife's idea. "Your mother thinks that it's alright-- and ask your mother, see-- and your mother she'll tell you that it's alright-- won't you, dear? So, go ahead and touch it-- and help yourself--" Rudy's little fingers doesn't even touch their tips together as she wraps her small, childish hand around the thick shaft of her fathers throbbing meat. Clair leans down to get a closer look. Dr. Huxtable and his wife's head lean together watching the eyes of their youngest daughter marvel at the feel of her father's prick. "I think she likes it, Clair," Dr. Huxtable whispers into his wife's ear. "Can I suck it?" Rudy suddenly pops the next unexpected question, looking up into her parent's faces as if she had just discovered a lost kitten and wanted to keep it. Dr. Huxtable and his wife looked at each other. "You better handle this one, Cliff. You started it," Clair teasingly sassed her husband, rolling her eyes. Dr. Huxtable clears his throat. "Well, uh." "Go on, Cliff! Answer the child," Clair playfully nudges the back of her husband's head. Dr. Huxtable turns around in a grimace. He turns carefully back to the child whose small fingers are still wrapped around his shaft. "Well, you see, honey, it's like this," his eyelids droop in embarrassment as a long explanation promises to develop. Suddenly his eyes brighten, and an evil grin spills across his face. "Sure, why not," he suddenly decides. "Your mother doesn't mind. Do you dear?" No sooner does the words leave his lips does the eager, bright eyed child chomps down on the full, dark, bulbous head of her father's arching manhood. "After all it's only cock. Isn't it, dear?" Cliff turns to his wife with a naughty grin playing through pursed lips, wagging his head in self-confidence. "Cliff, you'll choke her," Clair half protest. But Dr. Huxtable barely hears his wife's protest as he become aware of the annoying baby teeth gnawing at the sides of his schlung instead of the warm moist pleasure he had expected from such small lips and tongue. "No! No, Honey. You're biting it," Dr. Huxtable protest in a whimper, lifting the child's smooth, round forehead from his shaft. "You're suppose to suck it, not bite it," he tries to explain to the overly eager child. "Tell her, Clair," he glances back at his wife. Clair is having trouble of her own trying to keep her composure from laughing so hard. "Clair!" Dr. Huxtable admonishes his wife. Clair regains some composure. "Well, Cliff, she won't know how to do it if you don't teach her, Cliff," Clair teases her husband. "Well, that's what I'm trying to do, Clair," Dr. Huxtable answers his wife smugly. "Now, now, look, Honey," with soulful eyes Dr. Huxtable turns to his youngest daughter. "You're suppose to suck, not bite," he pleads for her to understand. "See, that's why they call it sucking, you see? You, you get it in your mouth like this, see. And, and you let it sit there. Just, just sit there like a thumb, you see?" He wiggles the child's small finger that she's been frequent to suck when bored. "I ain't never had no thumb that size when I was a child," Clair teasingly sasses her husband behind his back. Dr. Huxtable quickly glances back with eyes of playful warning. "Well, look at it, Cliff; you can choke a horse with that thing," Clair winces. "I can, can I?" Dr. Huxtable wags his head with an egotistical grin. "No, but the point is that-- no, you don't bite it, Honey," Dr. Huxtable suddenly turns more serious. "You let your lips do the holding and then you just draw air and release. Draw air and release," his mouth mimics the sucking action in exaggerated mime. Clair is doing all she could now to keep from exploding with laughter at the silly antics of her doctor husband. "Got it?" Dr. Huxtable continues with the child. "I think so," Rudy answers her bewildering dad. "Alright, I think she's got it, Clair. Yeah, Jack! Now lets try this again. This time remember--" Dr. Huxtable's mouth does the sucking mime movements again to remind the child how it's done. "What's that?" the child suddenly exclaims, pointing down between Dr. Huxtable's zipper. "What's what?" Dr. Huxtable answers looking more annoyed with the child's diversion than concerned that something's wrong. "That!," Rudy points to the same spot. Dr. Huxtable grins with relief. "Oh, that. That's dear old dad's nut," he answers the child. "No, beneath that," Rudy persist. Dr. Huxtable looks again. "Oh, that! That's dear old dad's other nut." "There's two of em?" Rudy asks, surprise. "Well-- well, yeah," Dr Huxtable begins to blush. "What did you expect?" He says half annoyed. "They're just sitting on top of one another because of how I'm sitting," he raises himself up a bit to straiten himself out. The whole time Clair loses all composure in laughter. "But why?" the precocious child becomes inquisitive. Dr. Huxtable looks at his wife to discover how the moment has gotten away from them, from what they intended. Clair tightens her lips in a grin and shakes her head resolved of no solutions. "Why what, dear?" Dr. Huxtable asks the child, puzzled. "Why do you have two of them?" the child clarify her question. "Oh, that. Well, Well, you see honey, God gave us men two balls because he thought that that would be a good idea, you see. In case one wore out, you know. And it's a good thing he did, you see, because your mother... well your mother bust my balls every night, and your dear old dad hardly knows what it feels like to be a man with balls the way God intended, you see." The child glances up at her mother. "But, but don't blame your mother, because-- because your mother-- well after you was born your mother couldn't have any more children, and-- well she just wants to make sure that..." Just then the doorknob to the front door jiggles. Clair slaps her husband's shoulder to warn him that someone's coming. Just in time Dr. Huxtable puts himself away before Vanessa, the second youngest daughter, walks through the door. The three of them compose them self in calm, stiff postures, a dead give away that something's wrong. Vanessa stands there grinning in suspicion. "What's up?" she asks, testing them. "Oh, nothing, sweat heart," Clair smiles, fondling an earring. "We didn't learn nothing about the birds and the bees," Rudy pipes up. Dr. Huxtable nudges Rudy with an elbow. "Ha, ha," he says with a phony laugh. "What she meant was that--" "Save it, Dad!" Vanessa says. She heads towards the stairs with her book bag slung across her left shoulder. She stops halfway up the stairs and says, "Watch it, Rudy. Dad has a big one." END ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ This story was written as an adult fantasy. The author does not condone the described behavior in real life. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Kristen's collection - TV, Sitcom & Movie Archive