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Confessions
by Henrik Larsen (henlar@hotmail.com)

***

A boy brought up by young female au pairs all his life. 
His parents are busy with their careers. The boy has 
little contact with other kids, he's a bit of a sissy 
really, slightly nerdy and shy in the company of other 
children. But one day he begins to come of age with his 
pretty cousin. (mf-teens, underage, inc, 1st, oral, 
anal, rom)

***

Author's Note: This and most of my stories would have 
been a mess of spelling errors and grammatical rubbish, 
had it not been for Old Rotorhead, Cagey and Marie. I'm 
very thankful for their patient work and encouragement.

If you liked the story, then feel free to tell me so. If 
you thought it could have been better, please let me 
know as well. My E-mail is henlar@hotmail.com. Comments 
are very much appreciated.



-= 1 =-

Religion didn't play an important role in my home. My 
parents weren't religious and even if they had been, 
they never had the time to tell me about it. Still, it 
became a very important part of the most exciting time 
of my youth.

I wasn't conceived by mistake; a married couple were 
supposed to have kids and my parents were awfully 
conventional. They were also very, very ambitious and by 
the time I was born, they must have figured out that 
they didn't really have the time needed to bring up a 
kid, if they were going to look after their careers.

So, they hired a young girl to look after me. She was 
replaced by another young girl and so on. From about the 
age of four, I can begin to remember the girls. I 
remember them better than I remember my parents from 
back then. There was many a day when I didn't see my 
parents at all. They went to work before I got up and 
didn't come home until after I was put to bed.

My parents really loved me and cared about me. I'm sure 
they did, in their own way. But career and material 
wealth were what mattered. The only kind of parental 
guidance I got from them was about correct behaviour in 
the presence of adults and that knowledge was important. 
Naturally, I was spoiled rotten. I got more or less 
everything I asked for. Actually, I didn't need to ask 
for anything, I just got it.

The only thing I didn't get was a playmate. We lived in 
a very fancy neighbourhood and I was practically the 
only kid for miles around. The rest of the houses were 
occupied by wealthy, middle-aged couples with grown-up 
children or no children at all.

I think you pretty much get the picture now. A boy 
brought up by young girls, with no contact with other 
kids. A sissy little boy, slightly nerdy and shy in the 
company of other children.

This was the situation until I was six. Then I learned 
that I was going to start attending school. I was 
terrified, to say the least. The mere thought of school 
scared me to death. Having to leave my safe, protected 
environment and go to a place, filled with strange 
children, seemed to me to be the ultimate nightmare.

Mom and dad sensed my fear and one evening, they said 
they had something to talk to me about.

'You know, Dan, you have a cousin, Annie. I don't think 
you remember her, I hardly do myself,' my mom began.

'I remember uncle Paul,' I said, enthusiastically. He 
was my father's brother and he had visited us a couple 
of times over the past two years.

'Yes, uncle Paul and aunt Emma. They have a daughter, 
Annie. She's the same age as you and is going to begin 
school this fall, too. Uncle Paul wants her to go to the 
same school as you, so she's going to come and stay with 
us,' mom said.

'Here? In our house?' I asked, startled. 'What about 
uncle Paul?'

'He and aunt Emma have to stay in China. Uncle Paul's 
job requires him to stay there and aunt Emma prefers to 
stay with him.'

I must have looked a little disappointed. I loved uncle 
Paul. He had been stationed in China for as long as I 
could remember and when he came to visit, he always 
played with me and he had given me some fantastic things 
from China.

'Uncle Paul will follow her over here from China. It's a 
long trip, too long for a child to take on her own,' mom 
added.

'When will they be here?' I asked, excited.

'In three days. We'll pick them up in the airport,' dad 
replied.

***

The next three days passed slowly. I didn't like the 
thought that Annie was going to come and live with us. 
But I really wanted to see Uncle Paul. Finally it was 
Saturday evening and we were waiting in the airport. My 
eyes were glued to the doors where the arriving 
passengers came out.

And then suddenly, they were there. There was a lot of 
confusion. Everybody saying hello and embracing and I 
was kind of left out, until a little girl poked me in 
the side.

'You must be Dan,' she said. 'I'm Annie. I'm going to 
live with you.'

I stared at her at the red-haired, freckled girl. I 
don't know what I had expected. A Chinese girl perhaps.

'Eh, hi,' was all I could say.

'Dad says you're a nice boy. He said we were going to 
give you a present, when we arrived.'

Annie handed me a little parcel. I looked at it.

'Aren't you going to see what it is?' Annie asked, 
impatiently.

'Maybe I should wait until uncle Paul and my mom and dad 
can see it too.'

Annie shook her head.

'They're too busy talking.' Annie said, matter-of-
factly.

I wasn't sure it was the correct thing to do, but Annie 
somehow sounded very convincing, so I began unwrapping 
the gift. Inside was a cardboard box with Chinese 
letters on it. Excited, I opened the box and very 
cautiously took out the contents. It was a radio; a 
tiny, tiny radio. I had never seen anything like it 
before. I was used to big radios. The smallest radio I 
had seen up to then was a transistor radio, the size of 
a shoebox. This was more like the size of two 
matchboxes. I was thrilled beyond my wildest 
expectations.

'It's a radio. My dad says it's the kind of radio they 
are going to use, when they send a man to the moon,' 
Annie said.

'Wow.'

'I got one too,' Annie said.

'Can we talk with them too?' I asked.

'No, you can only listen.'

I tried to turn it on.

'You have to put the batteries in,' Annie said.

I looked in the box again and there were two batteries 
and a little earplug. Soon, the batteries were in and 
the radio turned on. It took a little while to get 
anything but static, but suddenly, loud music sounded 
from the tiny speaker.

Suddenly, the grownups all looked at Annie and me.

'What on earth is that?' mom exclaimed and then added: 
'Turn it down for God's sake.'

'It's a radio, mom. When they send a man to the moon, 
Annie and I can hear him,' I said excitedly.

'Well, let's see if they can get a man up there first, 
shall we?' my dad said, smiling.

That was '66, I was seven years old and I was in heaven. 
Annie showed me how to use the earplug and we sat 
together on the back seat of the car listening to our 
radios all the way home. All my fears about Annie coming 
to live with us were gone. I'd found a friend.

When we got home the grownups went to the living room 
and I showed Annie around the house. I ended the tour in 
her room.

'This is your room. Do you like it?'

Annie looked around the room.

'It looks nice. What's behind that door?' Annie asked 
and pointed.

'My room. You have to go through my room, if you're 
going to the bathroom.'

'Hmm, then we can open the door and talk, when we've 
gone to bed,' she said, sounding excited.

'Yeah, I guess so,' I replied, not really getting the 
idea.

'I mean, it's like... we're not alone,' Annie explained.

We sat down on Annie's bed.

'Why isn't your mother with you?' I asked.

'She's ill. She needs a lot of medicine and she hides it 
from dad, because she doesn't want him to know how ill 
she is. It's our secret, mom and me. You mustn't tell 
dad. He gets so worried for mom,' Annie answered, 
seriously.

'That's sad. Do you think you will miss them a lot?'

'I don't know. I don't see dad much. He travels a lot. 
And mom sleeps until late. The medicine makes her 
sleepy. I play a lot with the other kids or play with 
Yin.'

'What's a Yin?' I asked, ignorant as I was about Chinese 
names.

'It's not an "it" she's the woman who takes care of me,' 
Annie answered and giggled.

'Oh. Mine is called Susan, and the one before her was 
Andrea. Have you only had one Yin?' I replied.

'Yes. She's my best friend. I'll miss her,' Annie said, 
a little sad. 'But I can go home every summer and visit 
her.'

We talked a little longer, but it was late and somehow, 
we just fell asleep on Annie's bed. Late, mom and dad 
and uncle Paul woke us and I was put into my own bed.

Annie was right about the door. It was nice to talk, 
after we had been put to bed. Soon we had arranged our 
beds on each side of the wall, so we could talk quietly; 
we couldn't see each other, but we were only inches 
apart.

Annie and I got along well. We looked much alike but 
inside, we were very different. Annie was outgoing and 
daring. She would go to the line every time and often 
cross it. But she always got away with it, no matter 
what she did. She had this fantastic ability to look so 
innocent and, if needed, remorseful. I was usually 
reluctant to follow her lead. Still, I guess I gradually 
became a little more daring too.

From the time Annie came to stay with us, and until we 
were around ten, the young girls that looked after us 
were replaced at an ever-increasing rate. It took that 
long for my parents to realise what the problem was. But 
when one of them left after 3 days, we were in trouble. 
Before she left, she told my parents loudly and clearly, 
in a voice loud enough for us to hear it (while we 
eavesdropped outside my dad's study) that we were two 
little monsters. Even Annie's innocent look couldn't 
help us that time.

Mom and dad had a serious word with us; very serious! 
They didn't threaten to send Annie home, but it was 
close. By then, Annie and I were inseparable. The 
duration of Annie's summer visits to China had gone down 
from five to two weeks. Separation would have been a 
catastrophe for both of us. We had to promise that we 
would behave nicely towards the next young girl and in 
school as well.

School was primarily Annie's problem. We both did well 
in school, but Annie often got comments from the 
teachers on her report card, because she was a little 
too mischievous.

Mom decided that it would be a good idea to employ a 
young girl from a foreign country. She wanted an English 
girl to help us improve our English, but for some reason 
she couldn't find one from Britain. Instead, she hired a 
French girl.

This girl's name was Simone and she was an exchange 
student, studying English. We had just started learning 
English in school and Simone didn't speak one word of 
Danish, so we all had to try our best. That way, it did 
work out as my parents had intended. We were all forced 
to speak English and we had to learn it fast.

One thing helped us learn English more than anything 
else: Simone was Catholic and apparently, she believed 
in the stuff. Mom thought it would widen our horizon to 
know a little bit more about Catholicism, so we had to 
follow Simone to church every now and then. Going to 
Mass was the worst. It lasted forever and since the 
church was full of people, we had to sit quietly and 
listen.

We also went along, when Simone was going to confession. 
Annie was restless and began wandering quietly around 
the church. Suddenly, she gestured to make me come over 
to her. I went over to where she was, next to the 
confessional.

'Listen,' Annie whispered.

I could hear Simone's voice very clearly. Father Peter 
apparently didn't understand French so Simone spoke 
English, fairly loud and clear enough for us to hear.

'...and I then I touched myself,' we heard her say. 
Father Peter mumbled something we couldn't hear. 'Uh, I 
touched myself... very... intimate place,' Simone 
relied. More mumbling and Simone answered again. 'Only 
outside my clothes.'

At this point, it sounded as if one of them got up and 
it scared us. We rushed back to the bench and sat 
quietly with beating hearts and blushing cheeks. Nothing 
happened for a couple of minutes. Then, just as Annie 
was about to get up and sneak over there again, Simone 
came out of the confessional and headed towards us.

We didn't really have a clue what she was telling Father 
Peter about, but the thrill of listening made the 
confession much more exciting than Mass. Over the next 
month, we heard a lot about "inappropriate thoughts" and 
how Simone "touched" herself and how she touched her 
"Perle".

The whole thing intrigued us so much that, in the 
evening, when we lay in our beds, we sometimes played 
"confession".

'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned,' Annie would say 
and I would reply something like: 'Tell me and Jesus 
will give you absolution.' Then Annie would "confess" 
something, usually repeating what she had heard Simone 
say in confession and I would ask her to tell more.

We didn't really know what Father Peter said. He always 
mumbled. We caught a few words here and there and 
guessed at some, but the rest I made up.

We only heard Father Peter speak out loud once. It was 
three months later. By this time, Simone had a boyfriend 
and she no longer talked about touching herself. Now it 
was her boyfriend, touching her and doing things to her 
with his "thing". It seemed as if this "thing" was in 
her hands and in her mouth all the time.

One Sunday, Simone was confessing this week's escapades 
with her boyfriend, unaware of the extra ears, listening 
to her confession. 'he was so persistent and then I gave 
in. But I was afraid that it would have consequences, so 
I let him use the other entrance,' Simone said.

The father mumbled.

'How do you say it... mon derri re... sodomize,' Simone 
said.

And that was when we heard Father Peter.

'MY CHILD! That is a very serious sin. Don't ever let 
him do that again. 

It must have hurt terribly!' Father Peter yelped, 
appalled.

'Oui, tout d'abord... in the beginning, but then it felt 
bon. Tres bon.' Whenever Simone was angry or excited 
about something, she put in a lot of French words, when 
she spoke.

Father Peter lowered his voice again and Simone told him 
a little more about "sodomize" or whatever the terrible 
sin was called.

Simone was a very cheerful girl and we grew very fond of 
her. I think she liked us too and she showed it. She 
would always hug us and kiss us on the cheek, which we 
weren't accustomed to. But we got used to it. Actually, 
I ended up liking her hugging and kissing on the cheek. 
It felt good.

Simone took her job seriously. She was there for us. 
After school, she had often baked a cake or something 
similar and she was always ready to play cards or board 
games.

Simone always smiled and I guess we knew something was 
seriously wrong, when we got home that day. Simone had 
been crying, her eyes were all red and swollen. She was 
pale and there was no sign of a smile. Of course, we 
immediately tried to find out what was wrong, but she 
wouldn't say.

Later that day, we listened by the door, while she was 
talking to mom and dad. Simone talked very quietly and 
cried all the time. We could hear mom trying to comfort 
her, but we couldn't hear what it was all about.

***

The next day, mom was home when we got back from school. 
She told us that Simone was ill; it wasn't anything 
serious but she would have to be in the hospital for a 
few days.

The day Simone returned from the hospital, she still 
looked very sad. Not at all like the Simone we knew. We 
tried to cheer her up, but in vain and she didn't want 
to tell us what was the matter with her and why she had 
to go to the hospital. Finally, she told us that she was 
going home to France again. We were genuinely sad about 
that and Simone was too. We all cried.

Simone had been special and not just because of the 
confessions. Maybe it was because we had been told to 
treat her nice. We'd had a chance to get to know her, 
but I still think it was more than that.

Simone left and her absence left a vacuum. The girl who 
took over was nothing special. We still treated her 
nice, but she wasn't Simone. We didn't spend much time 
with her, as we had done with Simone. When she quit, my 
parents decided that we were old enough to look after 
ourselves.

Time passed and we grew older. Annie went home twice a 
year to visit her parents; at Christmas and for three 
weeks in the summer. It was lonely without her. We still 
didn't see any other children except in school and at 
gymnastic training. They all lived too far away and 
besides, Annie and I had each other and didn't need any 
other kids to play with.

***

The summer we turned fourteen, Annie left to visit her 
parents as usual. She was supposed to be gone for three 
weeks, but 5 days after she had gone, mom suddenly told 
me she was coming home the next day. I was both happy 
and a little worried. Mom hadn't said anything about why 
she was coming home so quickly.

Annie was very quiet, when we picked her up in the 
airport, but I assumed it was the long flight. It was 
late, when we got home and we went more or less straight 
to bed. We talked a little about nothing. Annie mostly 
answered my questions about the visit with monosyllabic 
words.

Suddenly, she didn't answer. At first I thought she had 
fallen asleep, but then I could her she was crying 
quietly.

'Annie, are you ok?' I whispered.

There was a loud sob from the other side of the wall. I 
got out of bed and went into her room and sat down on 
the side of her bed.

'What happened? What's wrong?'

Annie tried to speak, but it only made her cry harder. 
She was shivering like she was cold. I had never seen 
her like that before. I put my arms around her and 
hugged her for several minutes, until she had calmed 
down sufficiently to speak again.

'Why... why didn't they tell me?' Annie finally managed 
to whisper.

'Tell you what?'

'Mom... is an alcoholic. The medicine... all the things 
she... never could do... because she was ill... it was 
all lies,' Annie said and began crying hard again.

I didn't understand the full implication of what Annie 
told me, but I understood enough to figure out why she 
was so sad.

'They just sent me away,' Annie sobbed. 'T-they... lied 
to me.'

I didn't know what to say. My stomach was one big knot. 
I just held her and let her cry until she fell asleep.

Annie felt better in the morning. Mom and dad acted as 
if nothing had happened. Maybe they didn't know. After 
breakfast, Annie told me what had happened.

'I found my mom drinking vodka from the bottle. At 10 in 
the morning. Suddenly, it was all so obvious. We had a 
row. First she tried to convince me that she wasn't 
drinking. She "had just mixed some medicine in the 
bottle". Then she blamed me, because I had moved away.'

I interrupted her. 'But you were only 6. They sent you 
over here to go to school.

'That's what I told her. Then she blamed me, because I 
had been a difficult child when I was there. I asked her 
how she knew; she was never there. Then she started to 
cry and was very remorseful, telling me that she would 
quit right away. We both cried a lot and I forgave her.'

'Why did you come home then?' I asked, stupidly.

'She didn't really keep the promise. In the afternoon, 
she was drunk as a skunk and we had another row. Mom 
went to bed. Then dad came home. I told him what I had 
discovered and he started talking about "protecting me" 
and "keeping it a secret". He didn't understand. He 
didn't understand how I felt. I was so... I felt so let 
down. All these years, I had worried about mom. I had 
kept her secret from dad, because I really thought she 
was ill and that it would make dad sad if he knew how 
ill she was. And it was lies. It was all lies!'

Annie had to inhale deeply a couple of times. But she 
didn't cry. It was a different Annie this morning. 
Older, more mature. She didn't sound like a little girl 
any more.

'I decided that I didn't want to stay there anymore. It 
wasn't my home. I wanted to come back here.'

She looked me straight in the eyes.

'You are my closest friend,' she said, very seriously. 
'Promise me that you'll never lie to me.'

'I promise,' I said with a lump in my throat.

'I'm your sister now. I'm never going back.' Annie said.

***

It took a while before Annie got back her normal good 
mood. Mom and dad acted as if nothing had happened. I 
didn't know if they knew or not, but I guess they did. I 
myself didn't know what to say or do. I found it a 
little awkward just to ignore it, like mom and dad did, 
but I couldn't really say anything to make it better. I 
tried to forget about it and gradually, I succeeded.

Annie didn't go home for Christmas. I certainly didn't 
mind. I loved Christmas; the mood, all the lights and 
the presents. Spending Christmas with Annie there only 
made it better.

Other things soon began to occupy my mind. The older 
boys on my gymnastics team had been talking about girls 
and sex for a long time. I listened but wasn't really 
interested. But gradually, I began to find it more and 
more interesting. I began to look at girls differently. 
I also noticed that I was getting hair in places I 
hadn't had hair before.

I knew, from the very rudimentary course on human 
biology in school, that I had entered puberty. I knew 
the physical signs, nothing else, but I suddenly felt 
that the things the older boys were talking about were 
very exciting. Looking at girls and dreaming about them 
was even more exciting.

My knowledge about sex was mainly based on the locker 
room discussions. The older boys used words that I 
didn't know at first. I learned, though. The meaning of 
words like pussy and wiener. I could translate the words 
"von hinten" from German, but it took a little while 
before I found out what they were talking about, when 
they said "giving it to her von hinten" - apart from 
"from behind".

I didn't really gain any specific knowledge from 
listening to the older boys, but enough to figure out 
what Simone's confession was about. And that the thing 
that had shocked Father Peter so much, was pretty much 
the same as "von hinten".

I also figured out that Simone must have followed Father 
Peter's advice and stopped doing it that way. Instead, 
she had let her boyfriend enter her in a way accepted by 
the Catholic Church and she had gotten pregnant.

My first real sexual revelation came shortly after my 
fifteenth birthday, in January. I was in the shower, 
washing myself and dreaming about one of the girls in my 
class. I must have washed my dick while I was dreaming. 
Suddenly I got a funny feeling in my groin and when I 
looked down, my dick spewed out some milky fluid. I was 
scared at first, but then I realised that it was what 
was described as ejaculation in my lesson on human 
biology; or what the older boys described as "coming".

It became a frequent activity when I showered, since it 
was the only place I had a enough privacy. The door 
between Annie's and my room was never closed and I found 
it difficult to find a good explanation as to why I 
suddenly would want it closed. Besides I was so used to 
it that I really didn't want the door to be closed. 

We always talked, when we went to bed and it was usually 
the best time of the day. We could discuss almost 
anything. I say almost, because I hadn't discussed my 
new discovery with Annie. Somehow, I didn't think she 
would be the least interested; maybe even disgusted.

Masturbating was the only active form of sex I 
practised. We didn't have parties in school or any other 
events where I had a chance to socialise with girls. 
Going to the local disco wasn't an option at all. I 
would never have gotten my parent's permission and even 
if I did, I wouldn't dare to go alone. I was still a bit 
nerdy and slightly introverted.

Life went on. The summer marked the beginning of our 
last year in elementary school. Annie and I were already 
destined to continue our education at a famous gymnasium 
and that was pretty much the same for the rest of our 
classmates. That meant the schoolwork and the coming 
exam was pretty important.

I guess in every class there's always somebody who tries 
to get around things the easy way. Our class was no 
exception. His name was Mark and his father was a well-
known and wealthy businessman. The only thing Mark was 
really good at was soccer. Apart from that, he was a 
selfish, self-satisfied, bragging nuisance. He acted as 
if he was God's gift to the world and somehow, he always 
got away with it.

Mark rarely bothered to do his homework. Instead, he 
would "borrow" the assignments from one of the girl's 
desk and copy the answers. He always returned the papers 
he "borrowed" but I couldn't figure out why the girls 
let him do it and most of them did. Some of the girls 
had learned never to leave their homework lying on their 
desks, but other girls still did it.

One day, when we were assigned to write an English essay 
for the next day, Annie had put her essay on the desk in 
plain view. We had often discussed Mark's habits and 
Annie never let him copy her homework, so I was very 
puzzled. Mark didn't waste any time and took the essay 
and copied it between classes. Even more surprisingly, 
Annie hardly complained when he took it.

'Why did you let him copy your essay?' I questioned 
Annie in the bus on the way home. 'You'll have to write 
another. You can't both hand in the same essay.'

'I've already written another. Here, read this, this is 
the one Mark copied,' she answered with a broad grin, 
handing me the paper. 'Read the second paragraph.'

I read the paragraph Annie pointed to.

---

'I'm going to blow you,' she whispered and put it into 
her mouth. He was stiff and moaned incomprehensibly.

'Suck it!' he hissed.

'How does it feel? Can you feel it raising inside you? 
Are you happy now,' she asked.

He stuck it deeper into her mouth and she pulled hard on 
it. His head exploded and it splattered out over her 
face and chest.

---

I looked at Annie, shocked and blushing. It shocked me 
that Annie could write something like that and that she 
actually knew the meaning of it.

'Are you crazy? You can't write something like this in 
an English essay. Old Miss Rabinowich is going to kill 
you, if she doesn't have a massive coronary first," I 
said.

'I never had any intention of showing this to Miss 
Rabinowich,' Annie said, still grinning.

She took the paper, folded it up and put it in her 
pocket.

'This is the one I will give her, if Mark admits copying 
my essay,' she said, taking out another paper and 
handing it to me. 'Read the second paragraph in this 
one.'

I did and it was completely different, yet almost the 
same words:

'I'm going to blow your head off,' she whispered between 
her teeth and put it into his mouth. He was stiff from 
fear and moaned incomprehensibly.

'Suck it!' she hissed at him. 'How does it feel? Can you 
feel the fear rising inside you? Are you happy now?' she 
asked.

She stuck it deeper into his mouth and pulled the 
trigger hard. His head exploded and blood splattered out 
over her face and chest.

I suddenly realised that Annie had planned it and wanted 
Mark to take the essay.

'Annie, Mark is going to be in a lot of trouble,' I said 
and looked seriously at her.

'Serves him right. He's had it coming for a long time,' 
she said and added, 'I only wish I could see Miss 
Rabinowich's face when she reads his essay.'

I couldn't help laughing, trying to imagine Miss 
Rabinowich's reaction. And Mark did deserve it. He had 
sponged off others' work for far too long. We got off 
the bus, laughing ourselves to tears. Annie took the 
folded up paper and put it in the garbage can.

'Promise not to tell anybody?' she said.

'Of course I won't.'

'Don't you think Mark noticed?' I asked, suddenly 
realising that this could backfire.

'Don't worry. He's too dumb to notice. His English is 
too lousy for him to understand what he is copying.

We had to wait two days to see the result of Annie's 
practical joke. We were going to have Miss Rabinowich in 
the first lecture that day, but she didn't show up. 
Looking out the window, we saw Mark's father walking 
from the parking lot, followed by Mark, who looked like 
he was being taken to the gallows. Annie and I exchanged 
knowing glances.

A couple of minutes later the headmaster, Miss 
Rabinowich, Mark's father and Mark walked into the 
classroom.

'Miss Hansen,' the Headmaster said, very strictly.

Annie went up to him and he showed her Mark's essay.

'This young man claims that you wrote this for him. Is 
that true?'

'No. He stole my essay and I had to write another.' 
Annie answered and began reading the essay.

She put her hand over her mouth, looking genuinely 
shocked and handed the paper to the Headmaster.

'I certainly never wrote that,' she said, blushing 
fiercely.

'I'm sorry, Miss Hansen. I know this is not something to 
show a young girl,' the headmaster turned to Mark.

'But she did write it!' Mark protested.

'And you took it and copied it?' the headmaster asked, 
inquisitorially.

'Yes... you saw it, Sofie,' he said and looked pleading 
at Sofie. She was one of the girls that usually let him 
copy her homework.

'It's true. He took Annie's story and copied it,' Sofie 
answered.

Just as Annie had planned, the Headmaster turned to her 
again.

'Do you have the original paper?'

'Yes,' Annie said and went down to her bag. She took out 
the decent version of the essay Mark had copied and went 
back to the group of angry adults.

The headmaster read through the essay and handed it to 
Miss Rabinowich. She scanned it as well and smiled with 
satisfaction.

'This is the kind of work Annie always delivers. I knew 
she would never write that filth,' she said and looked 
at Mark's essay with disgust.

'Not only do you steal your classmate's essay, you are 
too dumb to even copy it correctly,' the headmaster 
said, sarcastically and turned to Mark's father, who 
looked like he was about to have a fit.

'I'm not sure your son is the kind of pupil we want in 
this school. We have a reputation...'

Mark's father interrupted the Headmaster. 'I can only 
agree and I assure you that it will never happen again. 
I'm sure we can work out something,' he said and tried 
to guide the headmaster out of the classroom, with Mark 
in a tow.

Miss Rabinowich was somewhat upset but not shaken and 
proceeded with her class, almost as if nothing had 
happened. Mark didn't reappear until after Miss 
Rabinowich had left the class. As he passed Annie on his 
way down to his table, he hissed, 'I'm going to get you 
for this.'

'What?' Annie said and looked very innocent.

A couple of the other boys came to Annie's rescue.

'You can't blame Annie for your own stupidity, Mark. 
It's not her fault that you can't copy correctly.'

'You had this one coming... moron.'

Mark mumbled something and slunk off to his own table. 
The defeat was total.

***

The incident with Mark meant two things to me. First, I 
suddenly realised that Annie had grown up too and maybe 
she wasn't as innocent and ignorant as I had led myself 
to believe.

Secondly, she began to appear in my fantasies, when I 
masturbated. This worried me. It was wrong to think of 
her that way. I mean, she was almost my sister and you 
shouldn't think of your sister that way. I tried hard, I 
really did, but whenever I fantasised about girls, her 
face would suddenly appear in my mind.

I thought about Simone again and her confessions. She 
seemed so happy and relieved, when she came out after 
confession. Maybe that was the way to get rid of the 
guilt I felt, when Annie appeared in my fantasies. I 
never got beyond thinking about it. I honestly didn't 
know how to become a Catholic. I wasn't sure I believed 
in God at all. Could I become a Catholic, if I didn't 
believe in God? Would I have to go to church all the 
time or could I just go to confession, when I needed it? 
It was too complicated and I gave up the idea.

I felt terribly guilty, but Annie took over more and 
more in my fantasies. No matter how hard I tried, her 
face and body still occupied my mind. And I was suddenly 
beginning to notice her body.

Annie always walked through my room to the bathroom. 
When we were younger, she often walked naked through my 
room, when she was going to shower. She'd stopped doing 
that a couple of years ago. She began to wear a 
bathrobe. But lately it had changed again. She often 
just wore a towel, wrapped around her torso and it 
barely covered her behind, since it was also covering 
her chest.

I tried not to, but I couldn't help staring at her and 
trying and get a glimpse of her lovely shaped behind or 
the swellings on her chest. She would often stop to talk 
to me and it was awfully difficult not to stare, when 
she was standing in front of me, barely covered by a 
towel.

Maybe it was my imagination, but it seemed as if Annie 
spent more and more time talking to me, after her 
showers. She was driving me insane and fuelling my 
fantasies and my guilt.

I was both relieved and disappointed, when she began to 
wear her bathrobe; not every time, but more often than 
not. However, I soon realised that it would only add to 
my torment. When she stood or sat and talked to me after 
her shower, the robe slowly opened. A couple of times, I 
got a sneak peek at her breasts and once I could almost 
see all the way up to her crotch.

I fought a losing battle, trying not to look at her, 
whenever I got the chance. Something inside me, over 
which I had no control, urged me to look, but 
afterwards, I was plagued with guilt. Not knowing what 
to do, the situation remained the same and for the time 
being, I learned to live with the constant guilt.

As autumn turned into winter, it became colder and 
darker and I spent more time in my room. I was 
practically always in my room, when Annie came from her 
shower. I gradually became used to her casual dressing-
habits and the guilt wore off a little bit. I could 
almost talk with her without constantly trying to get a 
glimpse of her feminine attributes. And I did get a 
glimpse fairly often. She was very careless when tying 
the belt that held the robe together.

One day, just before Christmas, Annie was particularly 
talkative. She talked and talked, moving around in front 
of me and making a lot of gestures as she talked. She 
was wearing a towel that day. I can't recall what she 
was telling me, but her arms flew around her body and 
she had to tighten the towel several times. It didn't 
help though. The towel loosened again and before she 
could tighten it, the towel fell to the floor. Annie was 
suddenly standing in front of me, completely nude.

'Ooops,' Annie giggled shyly, but she didn't try to 
cover herself.

I just sat there, looking like a cod on dry land, 
gasping and staring at her. Then she said something that 
took whatever breath I had left, away.

'Do you like what you see?'

I was flabbergasted.

'I... yes,' I finally managed to stutter.

I felt very embarrassed, but my body's reaction opposed 
that of my mind. Nothing happened for an eternity. 
Suddenly Annie picked up the towel, leaning towards me 
and getting so close I could feel the heat radiating 
from her nude body. Then she rushed into her room.

It was the first time I had ever seen a girl nude. I had 
imagined what they looked like, using the images I had 
seen in paintings or dark, shaded images from movies, 
but I had never seen a girl fully undressed. The girls 
often trained in the same hall as the boys, when we 
practised gymnastics and I had looked a lot at the girls 
in their leotards. Now, I suddenly knew what a girl 
really looked like.

The image of Annie in the nude was burned into my brain. 
I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had to go shower 
very quickly to get relief. It was still hard to 
concentrate on my homework after the shower.

Annie began to consult me, when she was getting dressed, 
asking if she looked OK, if her arse looked big and 
stuff like that. She would come into my room and do a 
little catwalk and then ask me about her clothes and how 
she looked. It was rather innocent and yet I found it 
slightly disturbing. My mind always began undressing 
her, when she turned and showed herself off to me like 
that.

Just after Christmas, she bought a new swimming suit. 
She hadn't paid much for it, because it was on sale. 
Just before we went to bed, she wanted to try it on and 
show it to me. I was used to seeing her in leotards, but 
this was a two piece bikini and it showed more than it 
covered.

'What do you think? Do I look sexy?' she asked, swirling 
and jumping around, making her breasts bounce. It looked 
as if her breasts were going to burst the flimsy 
material.

I tried to keep my composure and answer calmly.

'You look very good. But it is very... revealing,' I 
answered.

'Do you mind?' Annie promptly replied, teasingly.

'Don't be silly,' I said, blushing.

'Come on. You've promised never to lie to me, remember?'

Yes, I remembered.

'I don't mind, okay?' I said, feeling the blood rush to 
my face.

Annie looked down her legs. 'God, I need to shave my 
legs,' she said and in an instant she was gone. 

Ten minutes later, she reappeared from the bathroom. 
'That's better, don't you think, she said.

I was sitting on my bed and she put her left foot on my 
thigh, showing me her freshly shaved leg up close. Her 
crotch was right in front of my face and it distracted 
me.

'Eh, yes,' I said, not able to tear my eyes away from 
her pink slit.

'Feel,' she offered, leaning towards me and taking my 
hand, leading it to her leg.

Her skin was so smooth. She pulled my hand up to her 
thigh. The skin on her inner thigh was unbelievable 
smooth. Annie innocently guided my hand closer to her 
crotch, oblivious to the effect it had on me. I was so 
aroused. I didn't know what I was doing. My hand just 
continued on the course Annie had set.

In a trance, I let my hand brush over her slit, feeling 
the heat almost burning my fingertip. Annie gasped and 
froze. 

That woke me up.

'I'm sorry. I shouldn't...' I said, feeling awful.

'It's ok,' Annie said and added with a shy giggle, 'It 
felt nice, really.'

'It was wrong. I'm sorry.'

I had already changed into pyjamas and suddenly I became 
very aware of my own predicament. It made me feel worse 
about it all. If Annie looked down, it would be 
impossible to hide. I tried to put my hands in my lap to 
cover myself, but I wasn't sure if it did the trick and 
I didn't dare to look down. I didn't dare to look up at 
Annie either, so I just stared at her tummy.

Finally, Annie took her leg down.

'I'd better get to bed too,' she said casually and 
strolled out of my room.

Relieved, I rushed out to the bathroom and brushed my 
teeth. I had hoped to be able to get back under my duvet 
before Annie had finished changing into her pyjamas, but 
I didn't make it. She was waiting outside the bathroom, 
when I got out and I could feel her eyes on my crotch. 
My dick had almost gone back to normal size, but her 
stare immediately woke it again. 

I rushed past her to the safety of my bed. My sleep that 
night was disturbed by numerous dreams about Annie. I 
felt utterly bad about the whole thing and promised 
myself not to get carried away again. I promised myself 
that it was all over, but little did I know that it had 
just started.


-= 2 =-

Nothing happened the next couple of days. I mean, 
nothing extraordinary. Annie came in to talk after her 
shower, but nothing more. Not until the third day.

We had gone to bed and were talking as usual. Somehow, 
we began to talk about Simone. How nice she had been to 
us and how much fun we'd had. Annie mentioned the 
confessions and how we had played "confession".

'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned?' Annie said, 
playfully.

'Confess your sins my child and thou shalt be forgiven,' 
I replied, equally playfully, with no intention of 
playing the game again.

'I have had naughty thoughts,' Annie said, just as 
Simone did it.

I suddenly didn't know what to say, but Annie didn't 
wait for me to answer.

'I dream about a man touching me. I dream about him 
touching me in places only a husband should touch,' she 
said.

Her voice sounded different, her breathing faster. I 
felt myself tense and a part of me badly wanted her to 
go on, another to stop. The part that wanted her to go 
on won.

'How does he touch you, my child,' I asked, just as I 
did back then. But the words suddenly meant something. 
It wasn't just words we had heard any longer, and didn't 
know the meaning of.

'I am naked and he puts his hands on my stomach. Slowly 
he moves them up to my tits,' Annie answered. 'His 
fingers brush over my nipples and it feels so good. My 
nipples become hard from his touch. I want him to pinch 
them, to play with them.'

I heard myself say, 'That is very sinful.'

'But there is more, Father. When I get these thoughts, I 
have to touch myself. I pinch my nipples, imagining that 
it is him and that makes me feel so hot. My hands are 
drawn towards my crotch. I can't help it, Father.'

Annie was breathing very heavily now. I think I was too. 
I was in the same kind of trance I had been in, three 
days earlier, when I had accidentally touched her 
crotch.

'It is the devil, my child. He makes you do it.' I heard 
myself say.

Even though it was a ritual, a repeat of words we had 
once heard, it was extremely arousing. I knew what Annie 
was going to say next and yet I was trembling with 
excitement and anticipation.

'I know it's the devil, Father, but I can't resist. My 
fingers part my lips and I have to touch myself in that 
special place. It feels so good, Father. I imagine that 
it is him, touching me. I become so hot Father, and I 
can't help myself. I have to go on and touch myself 
until I get relief.'

'How much do you have to touch yourself to get relief, 
my child?' I hissed, short of breath.

'I pinch my ...nipples and rub my little pearl. 
Sometimes, my fingers slip into, you know...and in my 
fantasy, we are united as man ...and . . . wife.'

Annie sounded awfully short of breath too and there was 
a long pause. All that could be heard was our breathing. 
I hoped she would go on, even though I would have given 
her absolution at this point. But I was hardly able to 
speak. I just lay there, listening to Annie's breathing. 
It was very fast and slightly ragged. Then it stopped.

A few seconds later, she began breathing again, gasping 
for air. Slowly, her breath returned to a deep and 
relaxed rhythm. I assumed she had fallen asleep. Lately, 
I'd had a bit of trouble falling asleep myself, battling 
the images of Annie in my mind and she often held her 
breath, then gasped and breathed normally again. It was 
probably some recurring dream she had.

***

We didn't talk about the confession-game in the morning. 
I felt rather embarrassed about it and preferred to 
forget it. No; part of me preferred to forget it, but a 
nasty little voice inside my head wanted to repeat it. 
And that voice was feeding my feeling of guilt, my 
feeling of doing something wrong.

To feed my fantasies and attempt to eliminate the image 
of Annie's nude body from my mind, I concentrated on one 
of the girls in my class, Catrine. She was a petit girl 
with a very innocent appearance. Always quiet, always 
smiling. She usually wore very tight shirts and jeans. 
Her breasts weren't as big as Annie's, but she looked 
very cute and very sexy in a gentle kind of way.

Over the next couple of days, I had some success. She 
gradually took over Annie's place in my fantasies and it 
made me feel a lot better. Whenever I was close to 
Catrine, I felt a surge in my stomach. We began talking 
a little, Catrine and I. I loved standing close to her 
and inhaling the wonderful aroma of her perfume. The 
best thing was that I felt she was watching me too, like 
I was watching her; secretly.

I was still a bit nerdy, but because of the gymnastic 
training, I had a nice, muscular body. I wasn't muscular 
in the bodybuilder-way that Mark was and I didn't have 
his smart looks either, but I wasn't at all bad-looking.

I began to figure out a ways to be with Catrine, alone. 
It was difficult, because she lived far from me. My 
initial plan was to invite her to the cinema one 
evening. We could meet downtown, see a film and then go 
home. It would be equal distance for both of us. The 
only problem was to work up the courage to ask her. I 
couldn't' ask her while others were around, I didn't 
dare to. I did have her phone number, but whenever I had 
gathered enough courage to call her, somebody else was 
using the phone or sitting in the room where the phone 
was.

It took three long weeks, before my courage and discreet 
access to the phone coincided. My heart was beating like 
a scared rabbit as I dialled the number. I just prayed 
that it would be Catrine who answered the phone.

My prayers were heard.

'Hello'

'Eh hello Catrine?'

'Yes.'

'Eh, it's Dan. I wondered if you wanted to go see a film 
tomorrow?' I said, determined to get it over with as 
fast as possible.

'Who's coming?' Catrine asked.

'Eh, I was thinking... just you and me,' I said and held 
my breath.

There was a short pause, but it felt like an eternity. 
'No, I don't think so. I'm going out with my boyfriend. 
But thanks anyway.'

My heart sank and a big knot formed in my stomach. 
'Okay,' I said, trying not to sound too disappointed. 
'Maybe some other time. See you tomorrow.'

'See you. Bye,' Catrine answered and hung up.

I was devastated and felt utterly humiliated. I had 
finally worked up enough courage to call her and then 
she already had a boyfriend. I wasn't really sad, I was 
scared that she would tell somebody and I would become 
the laughingstock of the whole school. The rest of the 
day and the next morning were a nightmare, anxiously 
awaiting the inevitable confrontation, meeting Catrine 
in class.

Nothing happened. Catrine acted exactly as she had done 
before. No giggling girls in small groups, pointing at 
me and whispering. No funny remarks, nothing. The knot 
in my stomach, which had been growing to the size of a 
basketball during the evening and morning, slowly 
disappeared and by lunchtime, I could only feel a little 
sting, when I recalled the phone conversation.

***

During the past three weeks, I had spent a considerable 
amount of my time in the living room, waiting for the 
right time to call Catrine, during the past three weeks. 
That also meant that I hadn't been in my room, when 
Annie returned from her daily shower and that had helped 
keeping her off my mind. Now that I no longer needed to 
be by the phone, I returned to my room. Catrine sort of 
drifted out of my fantasies. The first time Annie 
returned from the shower, she sat down on my bed with 
her legs pulled up under herself and spread a little, 
giving me a clear view to her crotch. Annie was back in 
my fantasies.

Soon it was February and we were now sixteen; both of 
us. I had recovered from Catrine's rejection, but not 
enough that I felt like trying my luck with another 
girl. One night, in the beginning of February, Annie and 
I were talking in our beds as usual. We talked about 
everything and nothing, mostly nothing. I was getting 
kind of drowsy, when Annie suddenly asked a question, 
which made me wake up very quickly.

'Do you want to play Confession again?' she asked.

Before I had time to think, I had already answered: 
'Yes.'

Annie didn't hesitate either.

'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.'

'Confess your sins my child and thou shall be forgiven,' 
I answered, feeling the excitement build rapidly.

'I have sinful dreams, Father. I dream of a boy, coming 
to me, naked. I'm naked too and I open myself for him. 
He sits down on my bed and his hands touch my skin so 
lightly. I take his hands and press them against my 
tits, but he wants to be in control. He takes my hands 
and holds them tight over my head. I'm helpless and have 
to let him have his way. He kisses me deeply. His lips 
leave mine and he plants small kisses down my neck and 
chest.'

Annie paused, waiting for me to say something. Her 
confession took my breath away. It wasn't one of 
Simone's confessions, it was something she made up 
herself.

'Go on,' I said, a little out of line.

'He's strong, but gentle. His lips close around my 
nipples and I feel the heat spread from my chest. I can 
feel his tongue, caressing my nipple. He is driving me 
insane with his light caresses. He holds my hands with 
one hand and I can feel his other hand on my thigh. 

'I try to resist him, Father, but he is so strong and he 
gently forces my thighs apart and slides his hand up, 
closer and closer to my pussy. Just when I can feel his 
hands touching me in my most private place, I wake up. 
It is my own fingers, Father and I can't stop touching 
myself as I dreamed he would.'

Annie paused again and it took a moment for me to regain 
my composure and my ability to speak.

'It... ahem... is very sinful, my child,' I coughed with 
a hoarse voice.

My brain worked at high speed, trying to find something 
to say, but I couldn't make my brain function. It was 
clouded with the image of Annie's outstretched body with 
her hands between her legs.

'Eh ...I think you should say three Ave Marias and then 
take a cold shower to cool the heat inside you.' I 
finally said.

'Do you think it will help Father? The cold shower?' 
Annie said, sounding really innocent.

'I do.'

'I hope so Father... I'm so terribly hot,' Annie gasped.

We were both quiet. I was extremely hot too. I badly 
wanted to go to the bathroom and relieve the pressure, 
but I was afraid it would be too obvious. I could hear 
Annie shuffling in her bed, probably turning around. 
Then she held her breath for some time. A strange, 
muffled noise escaped her, hardly noticeable. She began 
breathing again, slowly returning to normal. I assumed 
she was sleeping, until she spoke.

'Are you asleep?' she asked.

'No.'

'Well, good night then. Sleep tight.'

'Good night.'

It took a while before I fell asleep. Annie's 
"confession" had excited me beyond anything, but it also 
had me puzzled. She knew a lot more about it than I had 
thought. The more I thought about it, the more it became 
obvious that she knew a lot more about it than I did. I 
had no idea about how to touch a girl to make her feel 
good; or how a girl would touch me, for that matter.

***

The next day, Annie didn't shower until just before we 
were going to bed. Just before she finished her shower, 
I heard some excited squeals from the bathroom. When she 
came out with a towel wrapped around herself, her cheeks 
were blushing. She didn't stop to talk, but headed into 
her own room and to bed.

'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.'

She didn't even ask if I wanted to play, but I was game. 
As always, I fought a losing battle with my better 
conscience.

'Confess your sins my child and thou shall be forgiven,' 
I quickly answered.

'The cold shower didn't help, Father. It only made my 
skin more sensitive. I'm so hot, Father. I have to sleep 
naked or I will run up a fewer. The cold water made my 
nipples so hard they almost hurt.'

I was about to swallow my tongue. Annie was lying naked 
in her bed, a couple of feet away.

'I had to rub them to make them stop hurting, but that 
only made me hotter,' Annie continued. 'And my skin is 
so sensitive. Feeling the sheets and duvet caress my 
skin makes me think of warm, soothing hands, caressing 
me. When I put the duvet between my legs to stop it from 
rubbing against me, it feels as if there was a boy lying 
between my legs.'

I could hear Annie shifting in her bed and I saw her, in 
my inner eye, with the duvet between her legs. I was 
speechless, just waiting for her to continue. Annie 
continued to "confess" her sins, her dreams and how it 
made her touch herself. It was a very exciting 
repetition of the previous confession, ending the same 
way as last night. I recommended cold showers again and 
we said good night. I wasn't able to fall asleep right 
them, but eventually I did.

I masturbated, thinking of Annie's confessions and with 
the image of her, nude in her bed. Afterwards, I still 
felt guilty, but I could almost convince myself that it 
was ok. It was just words and imagination, after all.

I was full of anticipation the following evening and 
found myself wishing it was bedtime at eight. Again, 
Annie had postponed her bath until we were going to bed. 
I had finished in the bathroom, before she showered and 
was lying in bed, waiting. Suddenly, the bathroom door 
opened and Annie flew through my room, naked. I only 
caught a glimpse of her bouncing breasts. I could hear 
that she jumped straight into bed.

'Have you ever tried to sleep naked?' was the first 
thing she said.

Her voice sounded as if she was really cold. She had 
really been taking a cold shower. She was taking the 
little game one step further.

'Uh no, I haven't,' I answered.

'It's nice. You should try it.'

'Now?' I asked, a little anxious.

'Uh-huh.'

I hesitated. Still, nobody could see me and nobody would 
ever know. Except Annie of course, but she wouldn't tell 
anybody.

'Okay,' I answered.

Quickly, I took off my pyjamas and briefs. It felt 
strange to lie in bed, naked. Strange but also exciting. 
Annie was lying a few feet away, also naked.

'Are you naked now?' Annie asked.

'Yes. Are you?' I couldn't make myself ask the question.

'I am. It feels so good, doesn't it.'

'Uhu.'

I just wanted Annie to start her confession. I had 
turned off the light as soon as Annie was in her bed, 
but Annie hadn't turned hers off yet. It was as if she 
was waiting for something, but finally she turned off 
her light too and the ritual began with the same 
sentences; the start of Annie's confession.

'The shower made me so cold, Father. I start to dream 
about a boy, coming to me, naked. He puts his body over 
mine to warm me up. I feel the heat spreading throughout 
my body, especially between my legs. I become burning 
hot, Father. I have to push off the duvet to avoid 
burning up. And I dream that he lays down next to me. 
His strong hands caress my breasts, my tummy and my 
thighs. His hand slides up my inner thigh, so slowly and 
reaches my pussy.'

I could hear her push the duvet off and I badly wanted 
to get up and peek into her room, but it was dark and I 
wouldn't be able to see anything.

'His fingers brush over my pussy, lightly and teasing. I 
want him to touch me, I want it so much, Father. Is that 
very bad?'

I had to snap out of my own fantasy to answer.

'Yes, my child. It's very bad. What happens next.'

'I want him so much, but he suddenly disappears. I have 
to touch myself instead. My fingers become his and I let 
a finger slip in between the lips...'

Annie stopped for a second and gasped. I'm sure her 
finger was doing what she said it was. I was touching 
myself in much the same manner Annie was.

'I'm so hot and wet, Father. It feels so good to touch 
myself. Why is it a sin, Father?'

The question had me stumped. I had no idea what to 
answer. Nobody had ever told me that touching myself was 
wrong. I knew that the church, at least the Catholic 
Church considered it a sin. I knew there was something 
in the Bible about Onan, spilling his seed on the barren 
land, but that was about it.

'Because the Bible says so. Personally, I don't think it 
is a mortal sin, my child.' I answered.

'You mean, I'm not doomed. That's good because it 
feels... so... good.'

Annie sounded very excited. Her breathing was very 
ragged and I could hear a slurping, wet sound a couple 
of times. She held her breath and suddenly I knew what 
was happening. 

I went through a lot of different emotions: first I was 
shocked, then very aroused, followed by a feeling of 
relief -- a feeling of not being the only one who had 
these kinds of feelings. And then the perpetual feeling 
of guilt. This was wrong. Siblings weren't supposed to 
have that kind of feelings towards each other. Even if 
we only were cousins; in a way, we were brother and 
sister.

We said good night and I tried to fall asleep, more 
confused than ever before.

The next five evenings were a repeat of that evening. 
Even though I felt guilty afterwards, I was able to 
forget it the next evening.

The first evening, Annie turned to me as I left the 
bathroom before she went in to take her shower.

'You will sleep nude, right?' She asked and without 
waiting for the answer, she disappeared into the 
bathroom. I took off my pyjamas and slipped into bed. I 
didn't want to be caught by surprise, so when I heard 
Annie squeal as she turned off the warm water, I kept my 
eyes glued on the bathroom door. A minute or two later, 
the door opened and Annie rushed to her room, nude and 
giggling. My eyes tried to absorb as much as possible of 
the sight of her nude body in the split second it took 
her to get from the bathroom to her own room.

The confession ritual was repeated as on the previous 
evenings, but Annie and her imaginary boyfriend became 
more and more daring as the days passed.

'His fingers part my lips and he lets a finger enter me 
where no man has entered me before. Slowly, his finger 
sinks in deeper and it feels so good, Father. I just 
have to put a finger inside myself and, Ummm... pretend 
it is him.'

The second day, she took another step: 'He kisses my 
nipples until they are so hard. Then he proceeds down 
over my tummy, kissing me all over. His strong hands 
force my legs apart. Oh Father, I'm shivering with 
anticipation. I feel his hot breath on my pussy. I feel 
his fingers spread my lips. And then... I feel his 
tongue touch me in that spot where it feels... so nice.'

I wondered how Annie could make up these "confessions" 
and then tell them to me. But it made me feel more 
relaxed that she did. I was shy and I found it very 
difficult to talk about sex or even listen to others 
talk about it, even though I wanted to. But the darkness 
and Annie's boldness made me feel secure.

The third day: 'He took my head and guided my mouth to 
his groin. I was helpless, Father. He was so strong and 
I had to open my mouth to his tool. But I did it anyway. 
I wanted it. I wanted to please him with my mouth as he 
had pleased me with his mouth. I let my tongue swirl 
around the head.'

That was almost enough to make me lose my composure 
without touching myself. I began to consider, if there 
was a way I could masturbate without her hearing it and 
without making my bed wet. I could take a cloth or 
something with me to bed, but I would have to dispose of 
it somehow. It would have to lie in my room all night 
and I was afraid that Annie would be able to smell it.

The fourth day: 'He places himself over me, leaning on 
his strong arms. I feel his tool, pressing against my 
opening. It feels so big, but suddenly I feel it enter 
me. In my dream, his tool fills me.'

I was becoming a little braver and was trying to get a 
bigger part in the game, asking questions as Father 
Peter.

'What do you do, when you dream about that? Do you touch 
yourself?' I asked.

'I can't help it, Father. I have to fill myself. I put 
two fingers into myself. H-he... penetrates me... deeper 
and deeeeeper. Oh Father, I want him so much...'

She always had to discard the duvet at some point in her 
confession and the urge to get up and peek was growing.

The fifth day: 'He asks me to get down on my hands and 
knees. I feel him behind me, but I can't see him, only 
feel his tool, pressing against my opening. His strong 
hands grab my hips and he enters me with great force. He 
pushes me forward, pressing my shoulders down on the 
bed. He orders me to touch myself, while he fills me 
again and again. He reaches around me and squeezes my 
tits. He enters me hard and deep... so fast... deep, 
mmmm faster!'

The sixth day was a Saturday. My parents had a small 
dinner party that night. Annie and I had been allowed to 
drink a glass of wine. We were young adults now, as my 
dad put it, and my parents thought it best to learn how 
to behave in the safe environment of our home. So we 
were occasionally allowed to have some wine and this 
evening we had even had a weak drink afterwards.

We weren't drunk in any way, but I felt a little 
uplifted. Around 11 o'clock, I said I was tired and was 
going to bed. Annie excused herself too and we went up 
to our rooms. Annie was very playful and probably a 
little tipsy too.

'Are you too tired to hear my confession,' she asked 
teasingly, when we got into her room.

'Of course not,' I said and added boldly. 'That was why 
I wanted to go to bed now.'

'Hurry up then!' Annie giggled.

I was finished in no time and left the bathroom to 
Annie. She showered quickly and came into my room, 
wrapped in a towel. I had expected her to be rushing 
through the room, nude, but instead, she sat down at the 
end of my bed, leaning against the wall.

'Are you naked?' she asked.

'Yes.'

'Show me!'

'NO!' I said, blushing and embarrassed. My excitement 
was already showing.

'It's not fair. You have seen me naked,' Annie 
protested.

I blushed even more, because I knew she was right.

'I just want to see. I've never seen . . .' She 
hesitated, suddenly a little timid, '...you know. I'll 
take the towel off too.'

'But...'

'On the count of three, ok? Pleeeeease,' she pleaded in 
the sweetest voice.

It must have been the wine and of course my desire to 
see her naked. I shrugged, nodded and Annie began to 
count.

'One... two...' Annie hesitated and looked at me to make 
sure I would pull the duvet off.

I sat up in the bed, trying to sit in a way that would 
hide my predicament. Annie loosened the towel and I took 
hold of the duvet. We looked at each other, shy but 
excited, anxiously awaiting the count of three.

'I'll start again,' Annie said, blushing. 'One... two... 
three!'

I pulled the duvet away and Annie pulled the towel off. 
We had both folded our legs to the side, hiding our most 
private parts. But Annie's breasts were in plain view 
and I couldn't help staring at them. Annie looked a 
little disappointed at me.

'You cheat. Come on, I want to see it.'

Something inside me took over.

'Okay, but then you have to show too,' I said boldly.

We looked at each other and began shifting our legs. My 
dick had been squeezed between my thighs and as soon as 
I moved, it popped up. There wasn't really anything to 
hide anymore and I sat cross-legged, giving Annie a 
clear view. I could feel the heat raise in my cheeks and 
I suddenly felt very ashamed again. I didn't dare look 
directly at Annie.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Annie's crotch. 
She was leaning against the wall and had spread her 
legs. She looked a bit timid too, trying not to stare at 
me, but secretly glancing at my crotch.

We sat like that for a while, secretly studying each 
other. Annie had red hairs down there like I had, but 
not as much as me. Only a small patch on top. I noticed 
for the first time that she had freckles on her chest, 
all the way down over the top of her breasts. It looked 
kind of cute.

Annie broke the silence.

'Is it always like that, so big?' she asked.

'No, it's only when I get... you know, like... when I'm 
looking at you... naked,' I replied, blushing and very 
timidly.

'It's bigger than I thought it would be. Are all men 
that big?'

'I don't know. I haven't compared myself with anybody,' 
I answered.

'I haven't,,, you seen some of the other boys on the gym 
team in the showers?' Annie asked, determined to get an 
answer to her question about size.

'No... well yes, but they're... soft. You can't really 
tell. I don't think it's big.' I said, not really 
wanting to talk about it. It made me feel embarrassed to 
admit to looking at other boys.

Annie shrugged and looked more openly at me. 
Involuntarily, my dick jerked, making Annie giggle.

'It's alive,' she said, and giggled nervously.

I couldn't help laughing too. It kind of broke the tense 
atmosphere. I still didn't really know what to say. It 
was very exciting to just sit there, naked. It was a 
little uncomfortable to sit cross-legged. I took the 
duvet and my pillow and put them against the headboard. 
Then I could lean back and sit like Annie. Our legs 
touched at the ankle. It felt nice too.

It was Annie who took the initiative again.

'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.'

I think I had expected her to go to her own room, before 
we started the game and I wasn't prepared. It didn't 
take me long, though.

'Confess your sins, my child and thy sins shall be 
forgiven,' I answered solemnly.

Annie hesitated for a second, looking at me timidly. 
'I've had this fantasy about... a boy. I'm lying in my 
bed... and he... comes to me... and does such wonderful 
things to me.'

Annie looked down shyly as she spoke. It was funny, but 
her sudden shyness made me feel more relaxed.

'What does he do to you that is so wonderful?' I asked.

'First he... well, he touches my tits and pinches my 
nipples.' Annie was looking at me again. I don't know if 
it was deliberate, but her hands cupped her breasts and 
her fingers began to rub the nipples in small circles. 
It was so exciting to look at.

'His fingers make my nipples hard. He caresses my tits 
and nipples until I'm going insane. He makes me so hot, 
Father. Then his hands slide down over my tummy...'

Annie's hands began to slide down, down towards her 
crotch. My mind was clouded, but completely focused on 
Annie and her hands. I watched closely as she caressed 
her inner thighs. She was still talking and I heard it 
and saw it. Saw her hands move back towards her crotch. 
She brushed over the lips and the sparse hairs. The 
fingers spread the lips as "his" fingers were doing in 
her fantasy. Inside, the skin was red and glistening, a 
lot of crinkles and folds. It looked wet.

She slid one finger down between the lips. Then up again 
and circled the top of the folds. She stopped talking, 
breathing faster. The finger moved faster. She started 
talking again, telling how she felt his tool at the 
entrance. She placed a stiff finger between the lips, a 
little under the finger that moved in small circles. 
Suddenly, she pushed and the finger disappeared into 
her. She moaned and arched her back, pushing her chest 
up and lifting herself from the bed.

I must have been touching myself. I was touching myself! 
As she arched her back and I saw the finger disappeared, 
I felt a familiar feeling. I stopped touching myself 
immediately, but it didn't help the situation. I froze 
in panic and watched the eruption helplessly.

Unable to move, my eyes followed the first jet landing 
on Annie's chest and tummy. I watched Annie open her 
eyes, surprised and stare at me. She leaned closer and 
the next jet, equally powerful, hit her chin and chest. 
Annie watched the white liquid splash out on her body. 
Her eyes were wide open in surprise and amazement.

Normally, I loved the feeling I had when this happened, 
but this was the worst thing that had ever happened to 
me. I wanted to die, I wanted it to stop, I wanted to 
get away from Annie. It was so embarrassing. Then Annie 
giggled.

'Go away!' I hissed, humiliated and angry.

I regretted it as soon as I saw tears fill Annie's eyes, 
but it was too late. Annie rushed into her room, crying.

'Annie! I didn't mean it like that...'

No reply. All I could hear was her weeping. My 
embarrassment disappeared. Instead, I just felt like a 
real lousy asshole. I got up and went into Annie's room. 
She was lying on her bed, face down on her pillow. She 
was shivering and weeping.

'Please don't cry, Annie. I'm sorry... I didn't mean it. 
Please stop crying.'

'You don't love me. Nobody loves me.' Annie wept, half 
muffled by the pillow.

'I do love you, but what we did was wrong.'

'Why? We are both over 15.' Annie answered, angrily.

'Yes, but we are almost brother and sister. It's...' but 
Annie cut me off.

'We're cousins. Cousins can marry and all. If we had 
done it, it would be ok.' She said, her eyes still 
filled with tears. 'You just don't love me.'

'I do. You are my best friend. You know that.' I 
protested.

'Then why won't you touch me?' Annie said, sounding 
really hurt.

'What do you mean?' I answered, utterly confused.

'You are the boy in my dreams, stupid.' Annie said and 
buried her face in the pillow again.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean deep down inside, 
I guess I had dreamed that it was me she was thinking 
off, but I had suppressed it, because it was wrong to 
think that way, being almost sister and brother. God, I 
was an idiot.

I put my arms around her trembling shoulders.

'I'm sorry, Annie. I didn't think,' I whispered in her 
ear.

'Well, why do you think I told you all those dreams and 
did those things, stupid?'

'I-I've been dreaming about you too. But it just felt 
wrong. I mean, I think of you as my sister and... I... 
felt bad.' I whispered. I felt good finally to say it. 
'Is it really true that cousins can... you know, marry?' 
I added.

'My mom's...' Annie bit herself off. 'Someone in my 
family are cousins. It isn't wrong.'

I squeezed her shoulders and leaned closer to her. 'I 
love you so much, Annie.'

'You really mean it?' Annie asked and turned to face me.

'Uhm.'

Annie hid her face in my neck. We said nothing for a 
while. Then Annie surfaced again. Her eyes were red, but 
happy again.

'It was great to see you... have an orgasm. That was an 
orgasm, right?' Annie asked, a little insecure.

I felt the embarrassment return for a second. But just 
for a second. Suddenly, it didn't feel so wrong any 
more. 'It was. I-I... want to see you have an orgasm 
too,' I answered.

'Yes, but I think I'm too tired now. Can we just lie 
close?' Annie said and looked at me with big, warm eyes.

'I'm sorry. Yes of course. I'll do anything for you.' I 
said and I meant it.

When Annie had fallen asleep, I went into my own bed. I 
felt so relieved, so happy. I feel asleep without 
feeling any guilt for the first time in months.

***

I slept like a log and didn't wake up until my father 
knocked on the door to tell us that breakfast was ready. 
We always had breakfast together on Sundays. It was one 
of the few occasions, where we were together, all of us.

It was a wonderful Sunday. Annie and I were together as 
always, but it was different. A touch of a hand suddenly 
felt different. A smile or just a glance. I was filled 
with anticipation. I was longing for the evening and 
bedtime.

We hadn't had much snow that winter. One or two days, 
but it had melted away as fast as it had fallen. Frost 
and snow hadn't coincided at all. Winters here are often 
like that. Maybe that is what makes snow so much more 
fascinating.

When the heavy snowflakes began to fall and stayed on 
the ground, Annie wanted to take a walk in the snow. We 
were too old to go sledding, but it didn't matter. The 
snow itself was reason enough.

We walked to the park. The small hill was already 
crowded with kids on sleds. The layer of snow was way 
too thin to take the heavy traffic and the snowfall 
couldn't keep up. The side of the hill was just icy mud, 
but the kids didn't seem to mind.

We walked on with no preset goal. It was so nice to walk 
in the snow, just being together. Annie suddenly stopped 
and turned towards me.

'I love you,' she said and put her arms around me.

'I love you too.'

'Kiss me,' Annie said.

I kissed her in a brotherly way, just a brief touching 
of our lips.

'No, not like that. A real kiss,' Annie said, pulling me 
back.

'What do you mean?' I asked, ignorant as I was.

'Like, French kissing. With the tongue and all, you 
know,' Annie answered.

She didn't give me time to admit that I didn't have a 
clue. She put her arms around my neck and pulled me 
close. Our lips touched again. I could feel her tongue, 
probing tentatively. Instinctively, I did as she did and 
opened my mouth a little. The tips of our tongues met. 
Our mouths open a little more and more. Our tongues made 
love like snakes.

The feeling took my breath away. Maybe it was a 
combination of not being able to breathe through my 
nose, because of the frosty weather, and the kiss. 
Anyway, we had to break after a minute or so. I was 
dizzy. The whole, white world around me was spinning. It 
was so arousing.

'Where did you learn that?' I uttered, surprised.

'One of the girls on my team told me how. She told me a 
lot of stuff. Don't boys talk about ...girl stuff?'

'No. I mean, yes, but not like that ...you know, how 
to,' I answered, timidly.

I was still feeling very uneasy, talking about it. I 
didn't need to, not right now. Annie pulled me close 
again.

The second kiss was even better than the first. I could 
feel a nice warm feeling, spreading throughout my body. 
It made me kind of expect the snow to be melting around 
us. God, it felt good.

Annie must have thought so too. We kissed and kissed 
until we realised that the heat, spreading in our 
bodies, didn't reach our feet. A minute longer and we 
would have been unable to move, our feet frozen to the 
ground.

We headed back home. It took me an hour after we had 
returned to get the heat back into my feet, but it 
didn't really matter. I felt light and warm. The rest of 
the Sunday dragged along. I just wanted to go to bed; to 
be alone with Annie again. Around nine, I was counting 
the minutes. We usually went to bed around 10 and I 
didn't want to do anything out of the ordinary. I 
already felt terribly embarrassed, sure that my 
excitement showed all over.

Finally, ten minutes to ten, Annie announced that she 
was tired and wanted to go to bed. Once in our room, I 
was suddenly very nervous. I finished up in the bathroom 
and opened the door with shaking hands. Annie was still 
in her own room, but when she heard the door, she 
appeared in the doorway. Not wearing her bathrobe as 
usual, but in her panties and bra. Funny, because I 
often walked around in my jocks, like now, after 
showering, but Annie never did.

When Annie saw me staring, she blushed and looked down. 
Somehow, it made me more relaxed. She went into the 
bathroom.

'See you in a sec,' she said. 'Wait for me.'

I could do nothing but wait. Even if she had taken all 
night, I wouldn't have been able to fall asleep.

It felt like hours, but I'm sure she was finished in a 
matter of minutes. All my concentration was on the 
sounds from the bathroom. I heard the squealing that 
told me she had turned off the warm water and finished 
with a cold shower. Heard her turn off the water. Then 
the sound of teeth brushing and, finally, the sound of 
the handle being turned.

She had a towel wrapped around her. Her cheeks were 
blushing and her eyes shining. I was sitting up in my 
bed, staring at her. She was just standing there, in the 
doorway.

'Are you naked?' She asked.

'Uh-huh,' I said and nodded, eagerly.

It looked like she was going to take off the towel, but 
she changed her mind and kept it on. Like yesterday, she 
sat down at the foot of my bed. We looked timidly at 
each other in silence. For the first time, I took the 
initiative. I don't know where I got the courage.

'Confess your sins, my child and thou shall be 
forgiven.'

Annie giggled nervously and blushed.

'I sit on his bed and I'm naked, except for a towel. He 
reaches over and pulls the towel away.'

She stopped and looked at me in nervous anticipation. 
Leaning forward, I took hold of the towel and pulled. 
Annie had to lift herself a little before I could remove 
the towel.

'He removes the duvet and reveals that he's naked too.'

I pulled the duvet away and tugged it behind me.

'He's so big and hard. He moves closer to me and he puts 
his hand on my breast...'

I followed her direction. Tentatively, I put my hand on 
her breast. It was so soft. I could feel her nipple in 
the palm of my hand. Annie closed her eyes and sighed.

'He squeezes it a little caresses it... His fingers 
touch my nipple... rub it... yes... He takes it between 
his fingers and squeezes it... yes, a little harder... 
yessss...' She whimpered and I was afraid I had pinched 
it too hard. Frightened, I removed my hand.

'I'm sor...' I started to say but Annie cut me off.

'No, don't stop,' she said.

I put my hand back on her breast. Annie sighed and 
leaned back, letting me caress her breasts and nipples. 
I shifted around, getting up on my knees. It was a 
little more comfortable and I could use both hands. My 
bed wasn't very wide and I had to be careful not to fall 
off.

After a while, Annie started her "confession" again.

'He moves his hand down over my tummy, down to my thighs 
and makes me spread my legs.'

It was easier said than done. Annie's legs were trapped 
between the wall and me and I had to pull her left leg 
up and over my legs to be able to spread them. It was 
awkward and took a bit of time and giggling, before I 
was kneeling between Annie's legs.

I put my hands on her inner thighs. God, her skin was so 
smooth. Slowly, I slid my hands up, but stopped before I 
reached her crotch. I was still a little uncertain about 
how far I was supposed to go. Annie felt my hesitation.

'His hands caress my thighs... they move up... to my 
pussy and touch.' she took a deep breath as my fingers 
brushed over her crotch. 'He... his fingers... part my 
lips...'

I was staring at her crotch, trying to follow her 
direction, but a little uncertain about how to do it. 
Tentatively, I put my fingers on her lips. Her crotch 
was so hot.

The lips were much softer than I had expected. I tried 
to remember what Annie had done last night. Cautiously, 
I spread the lips and gazed at the glistening, red folds 
that were exposed. Annie was breathing heavily and her 
thighs were quivering.

'His finger touches me... between the lips,' Annie 
gasped with closed eyes.

Very, very cautiously, I let the tip of my finger touch 
the delicate skin between her lips. It was slippery. 
Annie gasped for air and in a brief second, her body 
tensed. I retracted my finger.

'More,' Annie hissed, opening her eyes and looking at me 
with blurred eyes, 'touch me.'

My finger returned and tentatively, I moved it a little 
up and down, like Annie had done yesterday. She was 
really wet down there. Annie's hips began to move up and 
down very slowly. She had closed her eyes again and 
tilted her head back. I tried to follow her movements. 
Apparently, that wasn't what she wanted me to do. She 
grabbed my hand and guided my finger to the top of her 
crotch where the lips met. I could feel a little hard 
nub under my finger.

Annie moved the tip of my finger up and down over the 
nub.

'There,' she gasped and let go of my hand.

I rubbed the little nub gently. Her hips continued to 
move up and down faster. Gradually, she slid closer and 
closer to me until her buttocks rested against my knees 
and her legs were spread wide around me. Her breathing 
was ragged. Her hands were clenching the sheet. Her hips 
began to move more strongly. She held her breath and her 
body strained until she stood like a bow over the bed. 
Her tummy convulsed. 

It looked so violent, as if she was being tortured. 
Suddenly, she grabbed my hand and rubbed herself against 
it very hard and fast. She gasped for air, whimpering 
and her body began to jerk, rigidly.

I watched, astounded and unable to do anything, as Annie 
ground herself violently against my hand... until she 
just held my hand tightly against her crotch, panting 
and covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

'Are you okay?' I asked, when I regained control over my 
voice.

'God yes,' she panted and opened her eyes. 'Did I break 
your hand?'

She let go of my hand and I must admit that it was a bit 
sore. She had twisted it into a slightly unnatural 
position.

'I think it is okay,' I said and rubbed my wrist.

She pushed herself to an upright position, still sitting 
with her legs spread around me, her buttocks touching my 
knees. Her eyes moved down towards my crotch.

'Can I touch it?'

'Yes.'

Her fingers brushed lightly over the shaft.

'It's so smooth,' she said, surprised.

She formed a fist around the shaft and held it. Her warm 
hand felt so good, better than I had ever been able to 
imagine. My dick jerked in her hand and it made her 
giggle excitedly.

'It's moving.' She said, excited.

'What do I do?' she asked, after holding it for a while.

'Eh, my legs are about to cramp,' I said and began to 
rearrange myself.

I leaned back on my elbows and got my legs out from 
under myself. It was a lot more comfortable. Annie 
closed her hand around my dick again, leaning forward to 
get a closer look.

'What do you want me to do? Can I make you squirt like 
yesterday?' Annie asked.

For a moment, the embarrassment returned, but then I 
realised that I had just watched Annie have an orgasm. 
My excitement helped me overcome my embarrassment.

'Hold it a little tighter... pull down... then move up 
again,' I gasped as she began to move her fist up and 
down.

She was excited and tense, concentrating on her hand and 
my dick. It felt a million times better than my own 
hand.

'Faster!' I managed to gasp.

Annie's hand gripped me a little tighter and moved up 
and down faster and faster. I could feel it approaching, 
much stronger than ever before. I didn't think of 
warning her. As the first spurt erupted, everything went 
black. I didn't see how Annie reacted. It was an 
overwhelming orgasm.

Annie kept moving her hand up and down until I stopped 
her. We looked at each other. Annie had globs of my 
fluids on her chin, her chest and in her hair. I guess 
she must have leaned over me, when I began to spurt. The 
rest had landed on my tummy and chest. I would probably 
have been very embarrassed if Annie hadn't smiled the 
way she did, so happy and lovingly.

We sat there, looking at each other until Annie looked 
over my shoulder at the clock on my table.

'We better clean up and go to bed. It's after eleven,' 
Annie said.

'Oops. Better turn out the light in case mom or dad 
comes up here,' I said and jumped out of bed.

We helped each other wash my cum away. Just before Annie 
went into her own room, she stopped and turned to me. We 
just sort of drifted into each other's arms and kissed 
deeply. The heat began to spread in my body, just as it 
had done when we kissed before. I didn't want to stop, 
but we had to.

'We'll be alone tomorrow afternoon,' Annie said. 'Good 
night and have pleasant dreams.'

'You too.'


-= 3 =-

Monday was great. We had a lovely time in the afternoon, 
spreading out our duvets on the floor to get more room 
for our activities. In the evening, we did the same 
thing.

Tuesday afternoon almost ended in catastrophe, when mom 
came home unexpectedly. We barely managed to get dressed 
before she came up to our rooms to see why we didn't 
come down when she called for us. After that, we decided 
not to undress in the afternoon, unless we were 
absolutely sure that we wouldn't be disturbed.

Mom and dad never entered our rooms, after we had gone 
to bed. They would look for light seeping out under the 
door, when they themselves went to bed, but that was 
always an hour or more after we had retreated.

The afternoons were still exciting. We would caress, 
kiss and arouse each other to the point where we were 
just about to throw all caution aside. I wouldn't allow 
Annie to bring me to orgasm, because I was afraid of 
staining our clothes and Annie would normally not let me 
bring her to orgasm, because I couldn't join her. I told 
her I didn't mind, because it was so exciting to bring 
her to orgasm, (almost as good as getting one myself), 
but Annie felt it was kind of lonely to be the only one 
to have an orgasm.

I was very content with the way we pleased each other. I 
knew there were other ways, but, right then, I didn't 
feel the need to explore those ways. It was all so new, 
so wonderful and so much better than doing it alone and 
that was all I could think about.

Annie, on the other hand, was the adventurous type. She 
probably also knew a lot more than I did, from her 
friends on the gymnastic team. And she dared to express 
her desires. Monday, she had showed me how to penetrate 
her with a finger or two, to heighten the sensation for 
her. She also taught me that her nipples and nub became 
oversensitive after an orgasm and that I should stop 
rubbing her there at that point. I could easily relate 
to that. Annie was able to sense that sort of thing, 
without needing to be told.

Thursday afternoon had been three hours of sultry 
kissing and caressing, mixed with periods of frantic 
caresses, bringing each other to the brink. I was in a 
daze the rest of the day and I think Annie remained very 
aroused too.

We showered in no time at all. I hardly had time to 
arrange the duvets on the floor, before Annie came out 
of the bathroom. We started kissing and feeling each 
other's naked bodies, but after a minute or two, Annie 
pulled back and looked me deep in the eyes.

'Will you do something for me?' she asked.

'Yes,' I answered without hesitation; I would do 
anything for her.

'Will you...' she bit her lip and blushed, 'Kiss me down 
there?'

Although I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, I had 
heard about "going down on a girl" and it had been a 
part of some of my fantasies. Blurred, but definitely 
exciting!

'Okay,' I replied and nodded.

Annie spread her legs to make room for me and I crawled 
in between them. The smell of her excitement was very 
strong as I brought my face close to her crotch. 
Tentatively, I planted a kiss on her lips.

'More. Use your tongue like you use your finger.'

I don't really know what I had imagined I was to do, but 
the thought of licking her there was a bit strange. 
However, I wanted to please her and I knew it was 
something that was common practice, so I parted her lips 
with my fingers and put the tip of my tongue on the 
little nub.

'Yesss,' Annie sighed and pushed herself against me.

The taste wasn't foul, as I halfway had expected, 
considering what bodily function that part of the body 
also performed. I licked her a little cautiously in the 
beginning, but soon it felt very exciting. The smell, 
the taste and the way she looked and sounded. I enjoyed 
it, I loved it and I loved the reaction I got from her. 
I let a finger slip into her wet tunnel. Annie moaned 
quietly and put her hands on my head, pressing me 
against her crotch.

It became a short, wild ride. A few minutes was all it 
took. Annie put a pillow over her mouth to muffle her 
moans as she climaxed. I got up next to her, my face all 
wet with her secretions. Annie didn't seem to mind. She 
kissed me passionately. Strange as it may seem, I felt 
almost as satisfied as her.

'Dan?' Annie whispered in my ear.

'Uh-huh.'

'It was great.'

'Thanks. I thought it was great too, you know... doing 
it.'

There was a short pause.

'If you want me to, I'll do it to you,' Annie whispered.

She didn't wait for my reply, but pushed me gently on to 
my back and positioned herself between my legs. What was 
about to happen had indeed been a part of my fantasies. 
It was a lot easier for me to imagine what a girl would 
do to a boy in this situation ...and I had. Seeing Annie 
pull back the foreskin and slowly lower her mouth to 
kiss the tip was almost enough.

Her tongue touched the tip as if she wanted to sample 
the taste. The light touch to the very sensitive part of 
my body made me jerk. Annie giggled and licked the tip 
again. She looked up at me, excited, opened her mouth 
and engulfed the head.

The feeling of her warm mouth was beyond anything and 
seeing it was unbelievably exciting. When she put her 
hands on my hips and began to move her head up and down, 
I was unable to control myself. Involuntarily, my hips 
jerked, pushing my cock deeper into Annie's mouth. She 
gagged and backed off.

'Easy now. I can't take all of it.'

'I'm sorry. It wasn't on purpose. I'll try to lie still, 
but it feels so good.' I replied.

'So, you want me to continue?' Annie said, teasingly.

'Yes please.'

'Hmmm, and if I don't?' she said and wrapped her hand 
around my dick, squeezing it a little. She took the head 
in her mouth briefly and popped it out again.

'Pleeeeease,' I moaned and put my hands on the back of 
her head, trying to push her down.

'Promise to lick me again?' Annie said, resisting the 
light pressure from my hands.

'Yes I promise.'

'Okay them.'

The break had actually been good, because it allowed me 
to enjoy the wonderful sensation of her mouth much 
longer. I kept my hands on her head, guiding her speed. 
She kept her fist around my dick, preventing me from 
accidentally getting too deep. She increased the speed. 
I was getting so close again. When her other hand began 
to caress my sack, I was gone. I pressed her head down 
and exploded.

Totally consumed in my own feelings, I didn't even 
consider if Annie would allow me to climax in her mouth. 
I just pushed her head against me until I hear some 
gurgling sounds coming from her. Then I immediately let 
go and opened my eyes to see if she was ok.

Whatever her reaction had been when I began spurting in 
her mouth, she had regained her composure. She smiled 
with her mouth closed, pointing to her cheek, opened her 
mouth and showed me that she had my cum in her mouth. I 
don't know what she had planned, but the liquids follow 
the laws of gravity and ran down over her chin. She 
rapidly closed her mouth and swallowed reflectively. 
Judging by the look on her face, it wasn't what she had 
planned to do.

'Oops,' she said and wiped her chin with the back of her 
hand.

She lay down beside me and kissed me. I was a little 
reluctant, but had little choice. She tasted a bit 
salty. I guess it was ok, I mean, she could kiss me, 
when I had licked her.

Pleasing each other with our mouth and tongues became 
the favourite way. It was so much better than using the 
hands and fingers. Annie tried to tease me again, but 
only one time. Just as I was on the brink of orgasm, she 
pulled my dick out of her mouth. But I was too far gone 
to stop and the first spurt shot straight up into her 
nose, making her cough and puff. Afterwards, it was very 
funny, but I don't think it was very pleasant getting it 
up her nose.

We continued this way for almost two weeks until one 
afternoon when Annie told me we couldn't.

'Why,' I asked, surprised and disappointed.

I was just about to slip my hand into the front of her 
panties.

'Because I have my thing, you know. I'm bleeding.' Annie 
said, not sounding too happy.

I knew what it meant. Annie's "thing" was highly 
irregular and had caused my mom a lot of worrying, which 
meant that it had been discussed several times. Apart 
from that, I only knew when because the pack of tampons 
in the bathroom was only there when she had her "thing". 
I backed off.

'How long will it take?'

'Umm, it usually takes four or five days. But we can 
still kiss and touch, but not down there,' Annie 
answered and pulled me close.

'Are you sure you want to?'

'More than sure. It's like I want to much more, but I... 
become so dry... you know, the tampon... sucks it all 
up.'

I wasn't quite sure I understood the mechanics of it, 
but since the tampon was meant to keep her dry, it 
sounded right. It became the beginning of five days of 
kissing, fondling and wild fantasies.

It was as if Annie tried to make up for her lack of 
orgasms by fantasising. We began to play "Confession" 
again. Her fantasies were wild. They were about us, of 
course, but included a lot of things we hadn't done. She 
imagined me forcing her to take all of me in her mouth, 
although she admitted afterwards that she didn't want me 
to do so. It was just something that excited her.

She also imagined us having intercourse. In those 
fantasies, I always had to pull out at the last second 
to avoid making her pregnant. She made it sound 
wonderful and very easy. We didn't really discuss it, 
but a certain tension was building. I think we both 
wanted to do it but both were a little afraid of the 
risk of pregnancy.

Maybe it was that fear that led Annie to her most 
astounding fantasy. She must have been thinking 
seriously about it, because her fantasy was very 
detailed, beginning with me getting some butter from the 
kitchen. I was to spread it on her other opening and 
finally take her from behind.

At first I was shocked and a little disgusted. I mean, I 
had heard about it, but it was kind of dirty in my mind 
and I hadn't given it any serious consideration at all. 
Annie obviously had and it forced me to think about it. 
The more I thought about it, the more I got used to the 
thought, to the extent were I began to find it exciting.

Still, it remained a fantasy, even after Annie's thing 
was over and we could resume our normal activities. The 
thought of having real intercourse was much more likely 
and it was easier to talk about. I couldn't bring myself 
to ask Annie if she really had considered letting me 
enter her from behind. I had become better at talking 
about sex, but sodomy wasn't just sex, it was sort of 
taboo.

The first day after Annie had finished bleeding was a 
Saturday. Not just that, but it was a Saturday when mom 
and dad were going out and we were to be home alone all 
evening from six until midnight, at a minimum. Mom and 
dad were probably not going to be home before one or two 
in the morning, but just in case, we decided to be in 
bed by midnight.

I had been able to give myself relief the previous days, 
but Annie was starved. Mom and dad left at six o'clock. 
About one minute later, we were nude. Five minutes later 
Annie was squealing and bucking her hips in her first 
orgasm in six days. Annie made a lot of noise when she 
had an orgasm, usually muffled by a pillow, but since we 
were alone, she let it all out and it made me very 
excited to listen to her.

She was still hungry for more and rested only for half a 
minute before she returned the favour and let me come in 
her mouth. Within fifteen minutes, we were both 
satisfied and relaxed.

We dressed again and had the dinner mom had prepared for 
us. TV was boring and soon we were kissing on the couch. 
The clothes were in the way of our hands and mouths, but 
we didn't dare continue naked in the living room ... in 
the unlikely event that my parents might return 
unexpectedly. Instead, we went to my room and laid our 
duvets on the floor.

Annie stretched out next to me. Lazily, I let my hands 
follow the curves of her body. It felt different. I had 
time to feel and see her body. She relaxed completely 
and purred contentedly as my hands explored her breasts. 
They were flattened a bit when she was lying on her back 
and the nipples were small and soft. That changed 
quickly when I touched the one closest to me. The skin 
around it sort of crinkled and the nipple grew and 
became hard.

I moved on downwards to her crotch. It looked like the 
hair on top of her pussy had been trimmed. I was sure it 
had been longer and that there was more last week.

'Did you shave... down there?'

'Ummm, I can't have hair sticking out, when I wear a 
leotard.'

'Isn't it easier to... you know, just shave it all off?'

'Some of the girls do, but most of them just shave a 
little and trim the rest.'

Annie talked about it as naturally as if we were talking 
about me shaving my chin. I found the thought of Annie 
shaving very arousing.

'Doesn't it fell funny when you shave ...I mean, my 
shaver buzzes a lot,' I asked, thinking that she used an 
electrical shaver like I did.

'I use a razor, stupid,' Annie reply, giggling.

'You mean foam and all?' I said, picturing Annie making 
foam like a barber in an old movie.

'Yes. Haven't you seen the can in the cupboard? You 
know, instant foam.'

'And which can exactly would that be,' I asked 
sarcastically. There were a zillion cans in her bathroom 
cupboard, deodorants, perfumes, hairspray and what have 
you.

'Ha ha, very funny.'

'Aren't you afraid of cutting yourself?'

'I'm careful. It isn't that difficult. You wanna see?'

'Now? Yes!!'

We went into the bathroom and Annie got the foam and the 
razor.

'Do you think I should shave it all off?' she suddenly 
asked.

'I don't know. Won't it be embarrassing... you know, 
when you have to shower with the other girls?' I 
replied, thinking how embarrassed I would feel.

'Why?' Annie asked, surprised, 'Lots of the girls do 
it.'

'Must look kind funny.'

'We'll see,' Annie said and took a pair of scissors too.

She sat down on the bench in the shower stall. First she 
trimmed the hairs really short, then washed with hot 
water, before she applied the foam.

'You wanna help?' she asked, when she saw how I stared 
at her.

'No way. I might cut you,' I replied.

Bit by bit, the razor removed foam and hair. She was 
very careful, when she shaved the lips. After a few 
minutes, she washed off the last traces of foam.

'Smooth as a baby,' she said, running her hand over the 
top of her crotch.

'It looks...' I hesitated, because I didn't really know 
how it looked. Exciting, yes, but also strange. I was 
used to seeing her with hair down there. Now, she looked 
like she did when she was ten years old. 'It looks kind 
of funny,' I finally said.

'Don't you like it?' Annie asked, a little disappointed.

'Yes. I think it's very exciting,' I rapidly replied. 
'And I won't get hair in my mouth now,' I added, 
teasingly.

She had dried herself and we went back into my room. Her 
crotch felt really smooth. She was on her back and I was 
lying next to her on my side, leaning on my elbow. I was 
fascinated with her new look and explored it thoroughly 
with my fingers, causing Annie to become very wet and 
short of breath. We snuggled up close, kissing and 
caressing.

After a while, I ended up on top of Annie, lying between 
her legs. My dick was between us, rubbing against her 
crotch. It felt really good after she had shaved. We had 
laid this way before and it was okay but her hair could 
scratch a little and sometimes, a hair got caught behind 
the foreskin and it felt a little unpleasant. Now, it 
was as if the moisture, flowing freely from her pussy 
was spreading much more. We moved slowly against each 
other almost without friction.

We broke the kiss and looked at each other, tense and 
excited. Somehow, we both wanted the same thing. Our 
eyes spoke without words. Annie spread her legs wide, 
pulling them up. I raised myself, resting on my hands, 
to give Annie room to get a hand in between us. 
Determined, she guided my dick into position.

I eased myself slowly forward, feeling resistance, but 
also feeling her move against me. Annie looked tense. 
She bit her lips as if anticipating pain. Then I could 
feel her opening up for me. There was still resistance, 
but bit by bit, I entered her.

A strange and very exciting feeling was growing in me. 
WE WERE DOING IT. We had crossed a border. I didn't know 
which border or what was on the other side. I hesitated 
for a second, trying to sense if Annie felt the same. 
Her mouth was open, her eyes feverishly shining with 
arousal. I think she was feeling the same excitement as 
I did.

It was so intense. Everything happened in slow motion. 
My sense of time was lost. I was lost. Hours could have 
passed, when Annie whispered.

'Is it... all in?'

I raised myself and we both looked down. About half of 
me was inside her, as far as I could see. Our eyes meet 
again.

'Do it now.' Annie whispered determined.

She crossed her legs behind my back and pulled to 
accentuate her words. In one long push I entered her 
fully. She tilted her head back, mouth and eyes wide 
open. I had heard that it would hurt a girl when she 
lost her virginity.

'Annie, are you okay?' I asked, anxiously.

'Yessss... I'm... so full... it feels... good,' Annie 
gasped.

We didn't move. I didn't want to move. I was only just 
beginning to grasp the feeling of being inside her. So 
tight so complete, squeezing me from all sides. At that 
point, the meaning of life was clear to me. We were 
animals, put on the planet to breed and populate the 
world. That was it. This felt so good, so right. It had 
to be it.

Annie put her arms around my neck.

'Try moving,' she whispered almost soundlessly.

Very cautiously, I began to move. An intense feeling of 
pleasure spread from my groin, leading to an urge to 
move more, to intensify the feeling. Our eyes were 
locked together, transmitting the feelings of pleasure 
between us.

'God you feel so good,' Annie whispered.

'I love you Annie,' I whispered, short of breath.

'I love you too.'

We went beyond words again as the intensity of our 
motions increased. I was so engulfed by it all that I 
almost forgot about the risk. Fortunately, a little 
voice inside my head began to scream out loud. I could 
feel it approaching and suddenly I panicked and pulled 
out of Annie. It wasn't that close, but I panicked.

'Why...?' Annie gasped, disappointed.

'I can't... come inside you.'

'It felt so gooood,' Annie wailed and spurred me with 
her feet on my back. I was just about to enter her 
again, but I was stronger than her.

'Annie don't! You might get pregnant,' I said, a little 
shocked by her action.

'But I want you inside me.'

The frustration made me hazy. I snaked out of her arms 
and buried my head between her thighs. The fragrance and 
taste only aroused me more. Annie pulled her legs up as 
if she was trying to make me lick her more, give me 
access to new parts of her body. It was only second 
best, but it was good. It felt good to give Annie 
pleasure, felt so good to feel and hear her climax. I 
forgot my own frustration.

Panting, sweaty and exhausted, we snuggled up close 
together, me on top of Annie. I felt satisfied, even 
though I hadn't been satisfied.

'What time is it?' Annie asked after a long time of 
kissing and looking deep into each other's eyes.

I still had my wristwatch on.

'It's half past eight.'

'You... didn't come in me, did you?'

'No, of course not!'

'Good. It felt so... right. I want to do it again,' she 
giggled.

Annie rotated her hips, trying to position my dick and 
get it inside again. Everything down there was very 
slippery and it seemed to be impossible. I tried to 
help, lifting myself to get a better angle. It felt 
right a couple of times, but Annie backed off, when I 
pushed forward. We were uplifted and giggling silly, 
when it suddenly happened.

This time, I sank in like a warm knife cut through 
butter. In an instant, we were moving slowly against 
each other, savouring the intensity. Much too soon, I 
had to pull out again. And it was a closer call this 
time. I didn't dare to go on and I told Annie.

'Hmm, I wonder what you would like to do then,' Annie 
said, teasingly.

What we had just done changed something in me. I felt so 
free and uninhibited.

'Well, I could let my tongue take over again,' I 
suggested, knowing that it wasn't what she was thinking 
of.

'I can't take any more right now,' she answered, 
covering her crotch as I moved down.

Playfully, I tried to remove her hands. 'What if I want 
to?' I asked in the same manner as she often did, 
teasing me.

'Pleeeease. Maybe later, but I've already come twice,' 
she begged.

'Promise?'

'Yes!'

'Okay. What do you want to do instead?' I asked.

We both knew what both she and I wanted. Her sweet, hot 
mouth engulfed my dick and with a hunger almost as great 
as the hunger I'd just had for her, she made me explode 
in her mouth.

After that, we were both spent. I think we fell asleep. 
I did. I woke up an hour later, warm on one side, the 
side where Annie was cuddling on my shoulder and 
freezing cold on the other. We put on some clothes and 
went down to watch TV. I didn't try to make Annie live 
up to her promise of letting me lick her again. Well, I 
did, but not that night. We were flat out, bushed, 
wasted.

***

I gained more confidence in myself after that evening. 
It was easier to talk about it and sometimes take the 
initiative, even though Annie usually was the one with 
the new ideas. There was one girl in particular on her 
gym team, who apparently supplied Annie with ideas. Her 
name was Jane and she was a year or so older than us. 
She had a steady boyfriend and from what Annie told me, 
she was experienced, when it came to sex.

To the outside world, we tried to act as if nothing had 
happened. We were considered as brother and sister by 
almost anybody. We had the same surname, a fairly 
unusual one too, we lived in the same house and looked 
very much alike. It was reasonable for everyone to 
assume we were siblings. Some even thought we were 
twins. 

Actually, we would have had to be, had we been brother 
and sister. Our birthdays were only a couple of months 
apart. The fact that we were cousins was almost 
forgotten by everybody that knew it. I no longer felt 
that we were doing was wrong, but our parents and our 
classmates might see it differently. I think Annie had 
the same reservations. We hadn't discussed it but we 
never acted like lovers in the presence of others.

That didn't mean that we couldn't show affection, we 
just had to conceal it. A casual touch, while walking 
from one classroom, would go unnoticed, even if seen. To 
us, it would feel almost as good as a hug or a kiss. 
Sometimes, I really wanted to hug her or kiss her in the 
middle of the day, but our secret caresses had to do.

Once we had tasted the forbidden fruit, there was no 
turning back. Making love for real became an integrated 
part of our bedtime love sessions. I had to be very 
careful of course, but we had to do it, if only for a 
few strokes, just to feel the closeness.

We would kiss and fondle until Annie was wet, usually a 
little longer than that. Annie was very easy to excite 
and, at times I would probably have been able to enter 
her, almost before we had undressed. I would be in her 
for as long as possible and then go down on her. 
Sometimes, I would enter her again, before she took me 
in her mouth, but we also found a new variation. I would 
turn around to face her crotch and she would face mine. 
That way, we could reach climax together. Annie's idea, 
of course.

It was also Annie who wanted to be on top, a couple of 
weeks later. I didn't protest. Especially not when she 
began to move up and down, making her breasts bounce 
every time she came down on me. It was wonderful but 
Annie got carried away.

Annie had often urged me to go on a little longer, but I 
rarely dared and when I did, it was never enough for her 
to reach the point she wanted. This night was no 
different. I warned her that she would have to get off, 
but she didn't.

'Annie, I can't take much more. You have to get off 
NOW,' I repeated, with a hint of panic in my voice.

'Please... just a little longer,' Annie gasped and 
grounded her crotch hard against me.

'God no, Annie! I'm going to come in you. I can't, you 
have to get off!' I hissed, now fully panicking.

'Just... Yes... I'm...'

'Noooo!' I cut her off and tried to throw her off, but 
it was too late.

Annie's muscles clenched tight around my dick as she 
finally reached the climax. In a daze of panic and 
pleasure, I felt myself shoot those dangerous fluids 
deep inside her womb. Annie must have felt it too. 
Frightened, she jumped off and stared in disbelief at my 
dick, shooting into the air.

It all happened very quickly. Annie began to cry and I 
was very close to starting as well. Then she rushed to 
the bathroom and began to try to wash the cum out of her 
womb. She detached the showerhead and used the hose, 
putting it inside her where my dick had been only 
minutes before. Under different circumstances, I would 
probably have found it very exciting, but now it looked 
slightly frightening.

Later, all kinds of thoughts went through my head as I 
tried to fall asleep. Annie couldn't have the baby, if 
she had become pregnant. She would have to have an 
abortion, but than we would have to tell mom and dad and 
what would they say?

We talked about it again on the way to school the next 
morning. Annie was convinced that she wasn't pregnant. I 
don't know how she knew and I didn't question it. I 
trusted Annie. I suppose I assumed that girls could feel 
that kind of thing. It made me feel a whole lot better. 
I still felt the knot in my stomach, when I thought 
about it, but generally I was able to repress it.

Miraculously, it only took 4 days before Annie got her 
thing again. She was highly irregular, but for once it 
came too early. I was genuinely relieved, but it also 
reinforced my strong belief in Annie.

Our sexual activities were back to normal as soon as 
Annie had finished bleeding. While she was out of 
action, her imagination ran wild again and we had some 
very arousing games of confession. Her fantasies were 
mainly about me teasing her with my fingers, lips and 
tongue, driving her wild over and over again until 
finally giving her orgasm. No intercourse, but then 
again after what we had just been through, it wasn't all 
that strange.

She had one other fantasy that came up the last evening 
before she was ready again. As the other fantasies, I 
had been teasing her endlessly. Annie was really 
excited, not just in her fantasy. In her fantasy, I 
finally turned her around on her hands and knees and 
knelt behind her. While I caress her pussy and tits with 
my hands, I enter her from behind, in the other hole.

The fantasy excited me a lot this time. I had fantasised 
about it since she "confessed" it to me the first time 
and this time, I dared to ask her after her confession, 
if it was something she wanted to try.

'Annie? Do you really want me to put my dick in you... 
you know, back there?'

'I-I...' Annie was still panting. 'If I were really 
excited... I think... maybe,' she hesitated. 'Jane says, 
if you use a lot of lube, it feels good,' she hesitated 
again. 'She says... it might hurt a little... until you 
get used to it. Do you think it's gross?'

'I don't know,' I replied, I think it's kind of... 
exciting.'

'I-I'm a little afraid... because she said it would 
hurt... and, well... it's kind of... dirty perhaps,' 
Annie stopped for a moment. 'I...' she hesitated again, 
for once sounding really timid. 'I tried... with a 
finger in the shower one day and it felt kind of good 
but... you're a lot bigger.'

'Maybe if we, you know... do it very slow like... you 
know, if I'm very cautious?' the thought was more and 
more appealing. 'I'll stop if it hurts.'

'Maybe, I don't know yet. I think I'll ask Jane again 
about it.'

We were silent for a while.

'Dan?'

'Uhm.'

'You know, right now, I just want you so much. Can I... 
come into bed with you, just to... you know. but not do 
anything, just...'

'Yeah, of course,' I agreed immediately.

In a fraction of a second, Annie was in my bed, kissing 
and groping. We were very excited after the confession 
and the talk about doing it in the butt. Our hands were 
frantically moving around, trying to touch as much as 
possible. My hands were on Annie's buttocks, inside her 
panties.

Panting, Annie broke the never-ending kiss we had 
engaged in and began to kiss my chest instead. Her nails 
scratched my skin lightly as she moved lower and lower. 
Her tits brushed over my tummy and my very erect dick. 
There wasn't much I could do, except put my hands on her 
head and let my fingers get entangled in her thick, red 
hair.

Annie stopped her kissing for a moment to make me spread 
my legs. She knelt between my legs. Slowly, her hands 
moved up my thighs to the crotch. Her face was only an 
inch away from my dick. I could feel her rapid breath on 
the exposed head. If her confession hadn't driven me 
insane already, this would.

Her fingers delicately tickled my sack, moving the balls 
around a little. One hand moved lower, touching the 
sensitive skin between my balls and my butt. I tensed, 
not used to being touched there, but it felt too good to 
be uptight about it.

I was extremely excited, but Annie looked like she was 
on some kind of drug. Her eyes were glazed and 
flickering and her breathing short and fast. She looked 
up and me while she slowly opened her mouth and extended 
her tongue, touching the tip of my dick. It jerked and 
throbbed at the light touch.

Annie didn't have the patience to continue slowly. Her 
warm mouth engulfed my dick. Greedily, she sucked while 
her head moved up and down. With her free hand, she 
caressed her breasts. Sometimes, the hand disappeared, 
but I couldn't see where it went. At this point, I 
didn't bother. I was hardly able to think straight. My 
brain was cluttered with what I saw and imaginative 
images of Annie's confession. One second, I was seeing 
my dick in her mouth, the next I was seeing it pressed 
against her tiny, wrinkled entrance.

It was way too much. Fireworks exploded inside my brain 
and spurts of hot cum shot into Annie's sucking mouth. 
Annie purred excitedly around my dick and continued 
sucking. I had to pull her off, when I was done and 
couldn't take any more. She had swallowed it all and 
looked very content. I was content too, although tired 
and exhausted. We cuddled up for a few minutes, our 
bodies glowing hot in the aftermath, before Annie 
slipped away into her own bed.


-= 4 =-

We quickly forgot the near-pregnancy experience. There 
was so much else to think about. The first preliminary 
test before the final exam came in the beginning of 
March and we had to spend more time, studying. It was 
judgment day for Mark in particular. I had a fair idea 
about how his father had persuaded the headmaster to let 
Mark stay, after he "copied" Annie's English paper, but 
I had no idea about how Mark managed to convince his 
father that he was doing well in school. But he couldn't 
hide the results of the test and I guess his father got 
pretty upset.

It became the end of social life for Mark, at least 
until after the final exams. His father hired a teacher 
to try and put some of the missing knowledge into Mark's 
thick head before final exams. Every afternoon, Mark 
studied with his tutor and in the evening it was 
homework, closely followed by his father. Mark was 
furious and somehow he felt it was Annie's fault. He 
hated her guts, but he couldn't do much about it. The 
few times he tried to ridicule Annie, she crucified him 
with her wits. So, of course, he still hated her.

Annie and I didn't have a social life the same way Mark 
had, with friends and such. But kissing and cuddling in 
the afternoon had to make way for homework and extra 
studying. Sometimes, it was hard to concentrate on the 
Napoleonic Wars or trigonometry, when Annie was sitting 
at the same table. Her fragrance tried to lure me away 
from the books, tried to distract me. Too often, it 
succeeded, but Annie was very determined to do well on 
the final exams and she blankly refused to do anything 
but study together, until we went to bed in the evening. 
But then she was as loving and wonderful as ever.

Even though caution became had become very important, 
when we had real sex, it was close a few times. We both 
badly wanted to let go. Unfortunately, we didn't have 
access to any form of contraceptives and neither of us 
dared to ask our parents. The fantasy about using 
Annie's other hole was still there and excited us both, 
but so far, Annie hadn't been up to it and I didn't want 
to push her, no matter how much I wished she would do 
it.

***

Spring was early and very warm that year. Late April was 
sunny with summer temperatures. Sometimes, we could sit 
in the garden and study in the afternoon. It made the 
studying feel less tedious and that was much needed.

Only one of our teachers had some kind of understanding 
about how stressful it was to prepare for the exam. He 
was relatively young, at least compared to the rest of 
the staff, who best could be described as museum pieces. 
Maybe they weren't that old, but they had been at the 
school since dinosaurs walked the surface of the earth. 
A lot of them had been pupils at the school and after 
they had finished their education, they had returned as 
teachers. 

I guess it maintained the "spirit" of the school, 
keeping it as old-fashioned as it had always been. We 
had reached an age where we suddenly realised how 
ridiculous many of the rules and traditions of the 
school were. One more year and we would probably have 
rebelled against it too.

But there was one young teacher, who hadn't been a pupil 
in our school and hadn't been there long enough to 
assimilate the special "spirit" of the school. He was 
very, very popular amongst the pupils and I assume he 
was equally unpopular amongst his colleagues.

Anyway, this teacher seemed to understand the pressure. 
Maybe he was young enough to remember. One day, at the 
beginning of May, just before the exams began, he came 
into the classroom, looking very serious.

'Class! We are approaching the final exam and you are 
all studying hard. This lesson will be one of the most 
important lessons you will ever receive from this school 
and I want you to pay special attention. I know how your 
brains are close to overload, but I think it will be 
possible to cram in another important piece of 
information.'

He sounded just like all the old teachers. It was 
typical of the way they all started, when they wanted to 
give us the lecture on why it was their particular 
subject that was the most important subject of all. 
However, it wasn't like him and, sure enough, he had 
something up his sleeve.

'Throughout all your life, you will be facing situations 
where pressure and stress will prevent you from thinking 
straight and prevent you from doing the best you can. 
There is one and only one cure for this. Pay attention, 
ladies and gents, this is important stuff. You have to 
learn to relax, disconnect the brain, give it a rest. 
You need to learn to unwind completely for a few 
minutes, for an hour, for as long as needed to let your 
brain clear. 

'This doesn't mean sleeping. In your sleep, your brain 
is still busy, dreaming and working on the same problems 
that you had before you went asleep. No, you have to be 
awake and occupy yourself with something that doesn't 
require too much of your brain, but preferably something 
of your body. That way, your brain can concentrate on 
your body mechanics and nothing else. So...' he opened a 
large basket and took out a football, 'we are going to 
spend this lesson learning that. I suggest a game of 
soccer.'

A loud roar rose in the classroom. Everybody cheered, 
even those girls who normally didn't do any kind of 
physical exercise. The teacher hushed us.

'Quiet now. We don't want to attract too much attention. 
I'm not sure my colleagues approve of my theory of 
education. Now, let's all walk quietly to the sports 
field.'

We calmed down as much as possible. I mean, it was a 
little like taking the cap off a bottle of soda that you 
have shaken intensively and then try to stop the flow. 
But we managed to get to the field without causing too 
much commotion.

The game was chaotic but fun. None of the girls were 
used to playing soccer and just kicking the ball yielded 
very unpredictable results. Still, the game served its 
purpose up the point where Mark's team got a free kick.

Mark was to take the free kick. He was a brilliant 
player with fantastic control over the ball. He would 
usually score on a free kick at that distance. It was 
fairly close to the goal and some of the players on our 
team formed a wall, but it would probably be useless, 
considering how good Mark was.

Annie was standing a little bit away from the others, 
not in any way in a spot where it would be expected that 
the ball would come. Mark stood for a second, before he 
started his run. With the greatest precision and force 
he could master, he sent the ball directly into Annie's 
stomach. Considering where Annie was and where the goal 
was, it was obvious that he had done it on purpose.

The force of the ball knocked Annie over and she 
crumpled up in pain. I ran to her, everybody did.

'Got you, bitch!' I heard Mark say, triumphantly. While 
a couple of the girls tried to get Annie up and make her 
stretch out to ease the pain, I turned towards Mark. I 
was furious and even though I had never engaged in 
fighting, I was ready to smack him good. I was strong 
enough to beat the hell out of him. He was a few feet 
away and I looked at him. He was grinning, but suddenly, 
his face changed. He looked like he had seen a ghost, 
pale and frightened. He was looking at the scene behind 
me and I turned to see what was wrong.

Annie was standing between two of the girls. Small 
streams of blood were running down her thighs. I think I 
heard somebody say they were going to get an ambulance. 
If I was mad before, I was totally enraged now. I turned 
towards Mark with the full intention of hurting him bad, 
but he was gone. Then I looked down and there he was, 
unconscious on the ground.

Since I was too late to beat him up, I turned my 
attention to Annie. She was crying, obviously in pain 
and it looked like she was seriously hurt. It took ages 
for the ambulance to arrive. In all the confusion, 
nobody noticed that Mark had passed out and when it was 
all over, he was gone.

Our teacher thought it best if it was one of the girls 
that went with her in the ambulance. I was to contact my 
mother and then go to the hospital. When I got there, 
mom was already there, sitting by Annie's bed. My 
entrance in the room seemed to be the cue she had waited 
for. She got up and said something about getting back to 
work and that she would come around in the evening.

I took a chair and sat down next to Annie. She didn't 
look that bad.

'So, are you okay?' I asked.

'Yes, I guess. Kind of. It still hurts a little, but 
they say it will pass quickly,' Annie replied.

'When will you be sent home?'

'They'll keep me here tonight, just in case.'

'In case of what? What was the blood? What had 
happened?' I asked, trying not to sound too worried.

'I was pregnant. The ball... I had a miscarriage,' Annie 
said and took a deep breath. 'Don't worry, it's okay 
now. It was just a bit of a shock.'

'You mean... but we haven't... I mean, we have been so 
careful. What's mom going to say? Did you tell her? 
What...' A million thoughts flew through my head. I was 
terrified but also relieved in a strange way. What on 
earth would have happened if Mark hadn't kicked the 
ball, if Annie hadn't aborted?

'She was more concerned about why we were playing 
soccer, when we were supposed to be studying for the 
final exams. All she said was that she thought I'd 
better get on the pill. She didn't even ask who the 
father was.' Annie replied, sarcastically.

I was shocked. I think I wanted to say something, I just 
didn't know what. I didn't know how to handle this. I 
was confused, frightened and still I knew it was Annie 
that was in trouble, not really me. I mean, she was the 
one that was, or rather had been, pregnant. I was 
supposed to help her, comfort her, do something and I 
couldn't. I was depending on her to be strong. She was 
always the one that knew what to do. I guess I was too 
concerned about her pregnancy to question mom's 
reaction. I was kind of pleased about her indifference.

'Don't worry, it's all right,' Annie said, sensing my 
desperation. 'The problem is solved and nobody will ever 
know anything about it. If I get on the pill, we won't 
have to worry about that anymore.'

'Annie, I don't know what I would do without you.'

Annie giggled.

'You wouldn't have got into this situation.'

'It's my fault too. But you... you can handle it. I...'

'You could too, if you had to.'

'I love you Annie.'

'I love you too.'

I wanted to hug her, to kiss her and hold her really 
tight, but a nurse came in to check on something. I held 
her hand and gave it a little extra squeeze. Annie 
smiled. She was so strong.

***

Annie came home the next day, but she stayed at home a 
few days, before she returned to school. I was a little 
surprised at how easily she got over it. 

Mark somehow managed to avoid being expelled from 
school. I guess his father had a way of convincing the 
headmaster. Personally, I think Mark would have 
preferred to stay away. The headmaster gave him a public 
scolding the next day and really humiliated Mark. In 
class, he was left out, socially. Everybody ignored him. 
Still, the final exam was a fortnight away.

Annie got over the whole thing very quickly, but she 
became more moody. Maybe it was the pill that did it. 
She was sometimes depressed and she developed a temper 
she hadn't had before.

We had a wonderful summer together. We didn't have to 
worry about pregnancy anymore and we had the whole of 
each weekday to ourselves. We could indulge in each 
other for hours, physically and mentally, just the two 
of us. 

Most of the time, Annie was as happy as I was, but 
sometimes she would get depressed. I tried to find out 
why, but she wouldn't tell me. She said she didn't know 
why, it just happened. It was probably the pill, but she 
didn't want to stop taking them and have to worry about 
pregnancy again.

When summer holidays were over, we started at high 
school. After our summer together, it was hard to go 
back to the old ways of having to hide our love all day. 
But we still didn't dare to show our love publicly. 
Actually, it was me that didn't dare. Annie didn't care 
that much, but then again, my parents weren't her 
parents. 

Apart from that it was great. School was closer to home 
and we could actually begin to see some of our 
classmates after school. It meant that we saw less of 
each other during the afternoon and evening, but that 
didn't matter too much. We still had each other at 
bedtime.

Troubles began when we were at our first school party. 
It was very different from the few school parties in 
elementary school. We could buy beer, there was a band 
playing and the teachers participated, instead of acting 
as moral policemen if a boy and a girl were dancing too 
close. Here, people danced as close as they wanted to. 
Compared to what we were used to, this was either Sodom 
and Gomorra or heaven, depending on which way you looked 
at it. To us it was heaven.

Annie loved parties and dancing and she danced a lot, 
particularly with one boy from her class. I danced a 
little, but I didn't really want to. I wanted to dance 
with Annie. Seeing her dance close together with Anton 
made me jealous.

I was angry and sad when we walked home. Annie was 
beaming, talking about how wonderful the party had been. 
It took a long time before she noticed my silence.

'What's the matter? Didn't you have a good time?' she 
asked.

'Anton did, I'm sure,' I answered, gloomy.

'Come on. We just danced. I am allowed to enjoy myself, 
am I not?' Annie replied, slightly offended.

'Sure, go ahead and enjoy yourself.'

'You don't own me and since you won't dance with me, I 
have to dance with somebody else.'

'Go ahead then. What do I care!'

I cared, a lot. But I was so jealous and angry. I felt 
that Annie had let me down. Somewhere in the back of my 
mind, I think I knew she was right, but that didn't make 
it easier.

'Come on. I didn't mean it like that,' Annie said, 
trying to make up.

But I was too jealous.

'I think we should take a break and start seeing other 
people, if that's what you want.'

'I don't, I just want to have a little fun.'

'Sure. Then I can sit and wait for you, while you have 
your fun.'

I knew it was a mean thing to say. I wished I hadn't.

'OK, if that's the way you want it,' Annie answered, 
angrily.

That night the door between our rooms was locked for the 
first time.

***

The next day we both felt bad about what had happened 
and we made up. But we also agreed that it would be good 
for both of us to see other people. Deep down inside, I 
didn't want to see anybody but Annie apparently had a 
need to try something different.

I accepted it. I accepted that she saw more and more of 
Anton. I accepted it because I didn't' want to lose her. 
Our life continued. Not much changed. Gradually, I 
learned to live with the idea of Anton. I still had 
Annie in the evening and that was better than nothing.

At the next party, Annie was with Anton all evening. I 
spent most of the evening with the boys from my class, 
listening to the music and drinking beer. It wasn't too 
bad. A girl from my class, Camilla, came and asked me to 
dance a couple of times, but I really didn't feel like 
dancing at all. Well, I guess I did, but I wanted to 
dance with Annie. I was still jealous.

About a week later, something happened that suddenly 
made Anton and parties unimportant, at least for a 
while. Dad came unexpectedly home from work at 3 in the 
afternoon, looking very worried.

'Annie, I've just got a call from your mom. You father 
is ill. He collapsed yesterday at work and was taken to 
a hospital. They have transferred him to another 
hospital, in Hong Kong. They are still examining him to 
determine what is wrong.'

Dad took a deep breath.

'I've book a ticket for you. I think you should pack and 
then I'll drive you to the airport. The plane for 
Frankfurt leaves in two hours,' he added, quietly.

Annie still hadn't forgiven her mother, but uncle Paul 
called her on a regular basis. In the beginning, she 
refused to talk to him, but after a few months, she gave 
in. I think she missed him.

'Is it serious?' Annie asked, fighting to hold back the 
tears.

'I don't know, Annie. Your mother didn't know. I tried 
to call the hospital, but they couldn't say anything 
either. I think you should go. It might be nothing, but 
if you stay here and it turns out to be serious, you'll 
regret it.'

'I'll go pack,' Annie said and rushed out of the room.

'I'll help you,' I said, running after her.

I caught up with Annie in her room and hugged her while 
she cried. After a couple of minutes, she had calmed 
down and was able to speak again.

'He... he better be well when I get there,' Annie said, 
smiling weakly. 'If not, I'll kill him.'

'He'll probably be picking you up at the airport, when 
you arrive,' I said, trying to sound optimistic.

'I hope so,' Annie replied, quietly.

We packed a suitcase for Annie. She didn't know how long 
she was going to stay and just to make sure she had 
enough clothes, she packed what looked like the entire 
content of her wardrobe. When we had finished, she 
couldn't lift the suitcase and we had to go through it 
all one more time and take a few expendable things out. 
It was still heavy, but at least she could handle it.

The packing gave Annie a little break and a chance to 
gather her thoughts. She wasn't happy, when we drove off 
to the airport with dad, but she wasn't completely 
devastated either. We helped her check in and said 
goodbye. I hugged her. We were both on the brink of 
tears, but managed to hold them back.

It was a long trip, almost 20 hours, including the 
change of planes in Frankfurt and the stop in Singapore. 
It felt equally long for me, waiting to hear from her. 
She had promised to call as soon after she had landed as 
possible. While I waited, I began thinking about the 
trip. I would have been terrified, if it had been me. I 
mean, changing planes in Frankfurt, all alone. I had 
heard dad tell her what to do with the luggage. How to 
get it in Frankfurt and check it in again for the plane 
to Hong Kong. Just the thought of all the things that 
could go wrong scared me, but Annie could handle 
everything. Nothing seemed to bother her.

Finally, almost 24 hours later, Annie called. Mom talked 
to her first and then I got the chance. It was a short 
conversation, but uncle Paul wasn't terminally ill. It 
was a bleeding stomach ulcer. He had been operated on 
and was, everything considered, in great condition.

Annie only stayed 3 days, but with the time spent 
travelling, she was gone almost 5 days. I was out the 
second time she called, so I didn't get a chance to talk 
to her again, before she returned. She arrived back in 
the morning, after I had gone to school. I had tried to 
convince dad that it would be a good idea, if I went 
with him to the airport to picked up Annie, but he said 
Annie would be tired and that I just wanted an excuse 
for skipping school that day.

He was right about Annie being tired. She had gone 
straight to bed and was still sleeping, when I came home 
from school. Mom woke her up for dinner, but even then 
she was very tired and very quiet. We all wanted to know 
how the trip had been, how uncle Paul was doing, in 
short: everything. Annie answered with little detail, 
but I assumed it was because she was so tired after the 
long trip. Still, I feared that her visit hadn't been 
all that pleasant.

She stayed up until ten, when we both went to bed. I had 
expected that she would be too tired to make love, but I 
was wrong. Annie didn't shower, because she had showered 
just before we ate dinner. When I came out from my 
shower, she had arranged our duvets on the floor and was 
lying on them, waiting for me. I was surprised, 
pleasantly surprised. I had missed her immensely. Not 
just making love to her. I mean, we couldn't make love, 
when she had her period, but it was the physical 
closeness. Even when she had her period, we would cuddle 
and caress each other and that was what I had missed the 
most. I guess that's the difference between loving and 
making love to somebody.

We didn't talk at all. With a growing intensity, we 
caressed each other. Annie was more passionate than 
usual, almost craving my caresses. She pressed my head 
against her pussy and my hands against her breasts. When 
the time came for me to penetrate her, she pushed me 
over and straddled me, sliding down over my stomach. She 
left a wet trail, a little like a snail. I thought I 
could feel her clitoris against my skin, but it was 
probably my imagination. She was very aroused. Reaching 
behind herself, she guided me into her cave. In one long 
motion, I filled her completely.

Even though Annie moved very slowly, it was so intense. 
She ground herself against me, sitting upright. I 
kneaded her breasts and she rotated her hips faster and 
faster until she reached her climax and began bouncing 
up and down. I was already on the verge of exploding. I 
pulled her down to me. I wanted her close to me, wanted 
to hug her so tight. At a maddening pace, I trusted into 
her until I couldn't hold it back any longer. It was 
really intense.

Afterwards, we lay in silence for a long time. It was 
then, Annie began to talk about her trip.

'Mom was supposed to pick me up at the airport, but she 
wasn't there. I had to find my way to the hotel myself. 
Your father had arranged for me to stay at the same 
hotel. When I got there, I tried to phone her room, but 
she wasn't there. I was worried sick that dad's 
situation had turn worse and I rushed to the hospital.'

She sounded as if it was hard for her to tell me this, 
so I didn't interrupt her, just listened.

'Dad was OK and it looked like he was happy to see me. 
Mom wasn't at the hospital either. It was so awkward, 
because I didn't dare ask him where mom was and he 
didn't dare say, but we both knew she was out drinking. 
I don't know why, we just knew it. I mean, I told dad I 
had rushed from the airport to the hotel and then to the 
hospital and he didn't ask if I had seen mom.'

Annie shifted, laying her head on my chest.

'Dad, we talked about him and me and he kept telling me 
how good it was that I was living here. I mean, he was 
happy to see me and all, but sometimes it sounded as if 
it was better I hadn't visited him. Anyway, I met mom 
back at the hotel. I tried her room again, but she 
wasn't there. I was going out to take a look at the city 
and get something to eat and for some reason, I went 
into the hotel bar. There was mom.'

Annie took a deep breath.

'She looked so... old. She looked like someone who had 
scrubbed floors for 40 years. She looked worn out. Her 
eyes had no life at all. She was so thin.' Annie sounded 
weak and distressed. 'She was drunk and began whining 
about how happy she was to see me. It didn't take long 
though. Then she went on about how terrible it was that 
I was living here and how much she missed me and that 
she had to drink to stand it.

"The next second she claimed she was sober and had just 
had a single drink, before she was going to see dad at 
the hospital. I didn't say anything. I mean, I knew we 
would start fighting if I did. Mom didn't care. She just 
babbled about herself. She was so... god, she was a 
sorry sight. She wasn't my mom. She was... she was some 
drunk woman in a hotel bar. She didn't even look like my 
mother used to. I don't think she noticed it, when I 
left.'

Annie sniffled, but she didn't really cry.

'I didn't visit the hotel bar again and I didn't see her 
again. I couldn't stand the thought of her, looking like 
she did.' Annie paused and added, bitterly: 'She was 
much too busy feeling sorry for herself, anyway.'

Annie needed a break. I hugged her and we lay in silence 
for a minute or two.

'I told dad about it the next day. He didn't say much. 
It was like he didn't want to talk about it. He more or 
less suggested that I go back right away. I didn't want 
to. I wanted to see him and talk to him. So I stayed. I 
visited him a couple of hours in the morning and a 
couple of hours in the afternoon. 

'In the evening, I just walked around. They have some 
great markets there. It was good walking around and 
looking at all the stuff they were selling. I didn't get 
back to the hotel until midnight.'

'You walked around all alone in the middle of the 
night?' I asked, probably sounding terrified.

'It's not dangerous at all. I think it is the safest 
place to be in the world. I don't' know why, it's just 
safe. Nothing happens. And it's really funny. There's so 
much to look at. The restaurants have all kinds of live 
fish and shellfish and all sort of things in buckets and 
containers out in front. You can choose what you want to 
eat and then they prepare it for you.'

Annie suddenly sounded much happier.

'And the markets are so interesting. You can buy 
anything: watches, designer clothing, electronics, 
everything and it's really cheap.' Annie got up. 'Hang 
on a sec. I got something for you.'

When she got up, her pussy began to leak and she had to 
go to the toilet first to clean up a bit. Then she went 
to her room and shuffled around in her still unpacked 
suitcase. She came back with a little box.

'Here, this is for you,' she said and handed me the box.

I opened it and it was a watch. A Rolex. Here, it would 
cost a fortune.

'God Annie, thanks. How could you afford that?' I asked, 
flabbergasted.

'Don't get too excited. It's a copy. Everything they 
sell in these markets is a copy. They're really good at 
it. It's almost impossible to tell. I looked in some of 
the real shops and it looks exactly like the real 
thing,' Annie said, giggling excited at my reaction.

'Thanks Annie. It's really great,' I said and gave her a 
kiss.

We cuddled up really close again. It was so wonderful to 
have her back again. I'd forgotten all about Anton. It 
was just us, but only until the next day, when we were 
back in school. Then we were back to normal.

***

I hadn't really noticed Camilla before. She was the 
quiet kind in school and in between classes, she was 
always with two of the other girls in class. But all of 
a sudden, she seemed to be wherever I was, all the time. 
We began to talk a little, at first out of politeness 
until I realised that it wasn't sheer coincidence that 
she always happened to be there.

She was a pretty girl and as time passed, I began to 
find her more and more attractive. She wasn't Annie, but 
maybe Annie did have a point about seeing others.

At the next party, I danced with her. I forgot to look 
for Annie and Anton all the time. It was good. A lot 
better than it had been for a long time. We danced close 
and kissed. Camilla was only the second girl I had ever 
kissed. It wasn't like kissing Annie, but I couldn't say 
that it was better or worse, just different. Her 
fragrance was different and she felt different.

I hardly noticed when I saw Anton out of the corner of 
my eye, walking towards the door, hand in hand with a 
girl. I remember that I wondered who it was. It wasn't 
Annie.

I didn't see Annie before we were going to leave. I had 
kissed Camilla goodbye and there was Annie, alone. I 
suddenly remembered seeing Anton leaving. Annie didn't 
look happy at all. We began to walk home in silence. It 
was November and a cold wind sweet through the streets.

'So, what happened,' I finally said.

'What do you care? You were all entangled in Camilla all 
evening,' Annie replied.

'Sorry. You know I care.'

'Anton ...He got tired of waiting,' she said.

'What do you mean, waiting?' I asked, puzzled.

'He wanted to have sex with me and I didn't. And then 
you and that... that Camilla are suddenly all over each 
other. I thought you loved me,' Annie sobbed.

I put my arms around her but she pushed me away. 'But we 
didn't...' I started but Annie cut me off.

'You would have, wouldn't you? Your hands were all over 
her.'

I hadn't realised that Annie had watched us so closely. 
'Annie, we just...'

'You just kissed and groped all evening.'

I didn't understand it. I didn't understand what I had 
done wrong. I mean, she and Anton had danced and kissed. 
I thought they had been together sexually too, but I was 
obviously wrong. Still, I hadn't done anything with 
Camilla either.

Annie was very upset and unhappy and I assumed it was 
over Anton leaving her more than me kissing Camilla. We 
walked the rest of the way home and went to bed in 
silence.

***

Saturday morning, Annie slept late. I was going over to 
one of my classmates to do some homework and mom was 
going to work for a few hours. Dad was out playing golf 
with some customer and wouldn't be home until late 
afternoon, but mom and I agreed to be home around noon.

I got home at half past twelve. I didn't pay any 
attention to the ambulance as I came down our street. It 
wasn't until I got into the house that I felt that 
something was wrong. The silence.

I found the note from mom on the console in the hall.

'Taking Annie to the hospital. Mom'

I can't remember if I closed the door behind me, but I 
think I did. The first taxi stopped and picked me up. I 
would have gotten to the hospital whether he had stopped 
or not, because I stepped out in front of him. I think 
the driver could feel the urgency. We speeded towards 
the hospital and got there in no time at all, even 
though it felt like we were driving in heavy traffic on 
a dead end street all the time.

She hadn't been registered when I arrived, but the 
receptionist sent me to the emergency room. I found mom 
in the waiting room. Her eyes were red from crying and 
she looked very shaken.

'What's happened? Where's Annie? Is she okay?' I asked, 
frightened.

I can't really recall the conversation we had. It's all 
kind of blurred in my mind.

'She... She cut her wrists.'

'How?'

'She tried to commit suicide,' mom whispered.

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

'What? She...' I gasped, unable to believe I had heard 
her right.

'She drank some vodka and cut her wrists.'

'Is she...?' I almost couldn't say the words. It 
couldn't be true. It just couldn't.

'She was conscious when we got here. I don't know how 
much blood,' mom wept and had to take a deep breath. 
'She said that nobody loved her anyway. Oh God, I was 
never good at being a mother. I should have spent more 
time with the two of you. I'm...'

'You're okay mom. It's not your fault. Anton broke up 
with her last night,' I said, trying to comfort her.

'I should have been there for her to talk instead of 
going to work. I could feel she was unhappy this 
morning. I should have talked to her.'

'I think I'm to blame too,' I said, not really wanting 
to.

Mom looked up at me, puzzled. For a few seconds, she 
looked questionably at me. Then it came to her.

'Oh my god. Annie's miscarriage. You mean... but Anton?'

'He was just, I mean, even though we are just cousins 
and it is okay to, you know... I didn't want to... I 
didn't dare... to show...' I think I began to cry too.

It took a little while before I was able to speak again.

'She is going to be okay?' I asked, anxiously.

'She is. She has to be.'

A very tired looking doctor came out of a room and 
headed towards us. It felt as if my heart stopped. He 
looked so tired and sad.

'Annie Hansen's mother?' he asked.

'Is she okay?' we both asked.

'She's fine. She's a little drunk still, but she's fine. 
She didn't cut deep enough to do any damage. I don't 
think she meant to kill herself. It was more like a cry 
for help. Young people often do that. She'll be fine.' 
The doctor took a deep breath. 'She claims she wants to 
go home. Unless you want to commit her to psychiatric 
care, we can't keep her. We gave her something to calm 
her down and, if you decide to take her home with you, I 
would recommend that she see a psychiatrist.'

'We will take care of her. Can we see her?' mom suddenly 
sounded so strong and determined.

'She's in there,' the doctor pointed to the door he had 
just come out of.

We rushed into the room. Annie looked pale and drowsy. I 
don't know if it was the medication or the vodka. She 
looked up at us, seeing our tear-filled eyes. Later I 
realised that it was the first time Annie had seen me 
cry.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered and began to cry too.

I was the fastest. I leaned over her and hugged her. We 
cried together for a long time, just holding each other. 
Even if I had known what to say, I wouldn't have been 
able to speak. I was so shocked that she had tried to 
take her own life and so relieved that she was all 
right.

When I let go of her, mom, who was standing next to me, 
leaned over and hugged Annie. It took a while before any 
of us was ready to speak. The word "why" was never said 
out loud, but Annie began to explain.

'I felt lonely. Nobody cared anymore,' she sobbed.

'But we do care. We all care,' mom interrupted.

'When you, when I had the miscarriage, you were... so 
indifferent. You just said that I should go on the pill. 
You never asked about anything, and I needed to talk 
but...'

'I'm so sorry. I just... I mean, I felt so sorry for 
you, with your mother and all you have been through. I 
didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I just 
wanted to make it easy for you. I thought you would ask 
if...' mom's eyes flooded again. 'I'm a sorry excuse for 
a mother.'

'It just felt so... like you didn't care...'

'I guess I've become too good at hiding my feelings,' 
mom said and tried to smile. 'But I really do care about 
you.'

Dad suddenly came through the door.

'Thank God you're ok!!' He burst out.

There was a lot of talk, a lot of tears and regrets. In 
the end, we all went home. Annie was tired and drugged 
and she was put to bed. I sat next to her bed all 
afternoon. She woke a few times, but she was too tired 
to really wake up. She just looked and me and smiled 
weakly, before she fell asleep again. I ate my supper in 
the room and moved my mattress into Annie's room to 
sleep next to her. I didn't want her to wake up alone.

It gave me time to think. Everything that happened in 
the hospital was so confusing and I hadn't had time to 
think. I still can't remember much about what really 
happened, from when I saw mom's note until we were back 
from the hospital. But sitting there next to Annie's bed 
gave me time to think about everything.

I suddenly realised that she couldn't handle everything. 
She had looked so fragile, lying in the hospital bed. I 
knew I had to be there to help her now. I didn't know 
how, but I felt as if I was growing. I had to be strong. 
I had to, because Annie needed me. I woke several times 
during the night. I woke with a fear that Annie was dead 
and, each time, I had to touch her to make sure she was 
really alive.

I wanted to tell Annie how much I loved her. I did, the 
few times she woke up and I promised myself to tell her 
every day from now on. I don't know why it had been so 
hard to say before. Maybe it hadn't been; maybe I just 
hadn't thought about how much it meant to Annie. I mean, 
we all love her and I guess we all thought she knew 
that. I would hold hands with her in school, I would 
kiss her. I would show everybody that I loved her. She 
was never again going to doubt that she was loved, ever.

I knew it was going to take some time to get her back on 
her feet again. I tried not to think about it that way. 
Sitting there next to her, I imagine that she would wake 
up and be her old self, like she had always been, but 
deep down inside I knew she couldn't just go back to the 
old ways. Too much had happened. We would have to start 
over again, not from the beginning, but some things 
would have to be rebuilt.

However, that was tomorrow. As the night fell, I was so 
content just sitting next to her, just being there, in 
case she woke up and needed me. Everything else could 
wait until morning. It was going to be better. I 
wouldn't have it any other way!


-= 5 =-

The next couple of days were difficult, but in a way 
they were good too. A lot of things happened, a lot of 
new things. We all changed and I guess we learned a lot 
too; about ourselves and each other.

Mom and dad were there. Not that they hadn't always been 
there, even though it might have sounded like they 
weren't. They had been there, but for the first time 
they tried to involve themselves in Annie's feeling and 
mine.

Mom was at least partially right, when she said she had 
been too good at hiding her feelings. But both mom and 
dad tried now. They tried to understand what had 
happened and why. So did I.

***

Sunday was a strange day. Of course, we were all 
terribly worried about Annie and her state of mind. We 
tried our best to treat her with all the love we could 
master. In that respect, we did really well. But it was 
still a very tense atmosphere. I didn't know how to 
approach the whole situation; the suicide and Annie's 
mental state. I don't think mom and dad knew what to do 
either. It was all terribly awkward at times.

On Monday, the bubble burst. In the middle of lunch, 
Annie suddenly stopped mom in a middle of the very 
neutral conversation we'd had all day.

'Please stop,' Annie said, sounding tired. 'I can't take 
this beating around the bush. I tried to commit suicide 
and I don't want you to act like it never happened. I 
need to talk about it and I think you do too.'

'I'm sorry, Annie,' mom answered, 'but I think you are 
the one that has to start the conversation. I think we 
all are on thin ice here and terribly scared of hurting 
you again. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not afraid of 
talking about it, I just don't know what to say.'

'I guess you're right. I just don't know how to begin 
either. I mean, you're the adults... you... I want to 
talk about it. I want to explain but, I don't want... I 
don't want you all to be sad or feel guilty. I've 
thought a lot about it and there were a lot of different 
things getting me down... but... I guess most of it was 
myself, overreacting.'

'Annie,' dad said and reached over the table to take 
Annie's hand. 'Maybe you overreacted, maybe you should 
have said something, but you're alive and the important 
thing here is to make sure you don't get there again. 
That doesn't mean we don't want to talk about what made 
you feel that way. But don't start feeling guilty about 
what happened. You've had a hard time and we haven't 
been the best help for you. 

'It's not because we don't want to help you. You have 
always seemed to be able to cope with your life and I 
guess it was too easy for us to assume that everything 
was fine as long as you didn't say anything. It was our 
fault. I wish I could do it all over again and do it 
right. But it's no good now and it serves no purpose to 
blame myself for what happened, either. We all had our 
part in it and we will all help you back on your feet.'

Annie's eyes filled with tears.

'I know I should have said something,' she whispered, 
'but... I don't know... I'm so confused. I just don't 
want to go on like... like being some kind of freak, a 
mental case. I want to talk about it and I do want to 
get beyond it. I want...'

Annie gave up trying to explain. Mom took over. Her 
voice was thick.

'You're not a freak Annie and we can talk about it as 
much as you want. I think it's difficult in the 
beginning, but we'll all learn.'

I wanted to say something too; I just didn't know what 
to say. Instead, I took Annie's hand, the one dad wasn't 
holding, and squeezed it lightly. Annie let go of dad's 
hand and got up. I was about to get up too, thinking 
Annie wanted to go up to her room. She stopped me and 
sat down on my lap, burying her face in my neck. I put 
my arms around her shaking body and she cried; really 
crying. 

I suddenly felt so strong. I held her, whispering 
comforting words in her ear. Just like mom used to do 
when I was little and I had fallen and hurt my knee.

I'd never seen dad cry, but I'm sure he wiped a tear off 
his cheek, when I looked over at him. I couldn't see 
mom, but her eyes were red, when Annie finally calmed 
and lifted her face from my shoulder.

'I'm sorry,' Annie said.

'Don't be,' I answered, soothing. 'It helps to cry, 
right mom?'

'It does,' mom said smiling, almost starting to cry 
again.

It did. Not so much to cry, but it helped to talk, to 
get it out in the open. We talked and there were lots to 
talk about. Gradually, we all began to come to terms 
with Annie's suicide attempt, but there were other 
problems that needed to be tackled.

Annie was tired for some time after the suicide attempt. 
She had lost a lot of blood and it took some time to 
regenerate it. If she got up too quickly, she would get 
dizzy and she couldn't take much physical strain. The 
first week, she stayed at home, but she didn't want to 
miss too much school and, by the second week, she felt 
she had to go to school.

Physically, she wasn't really up to it, but Annie 
insisted. She wanted to go to school. We discussed it, 
mom, dad, Annie and me. Annie and I weren't in the same 
class, so I couldn't be there all the time to help her. 
If she wanted to go to school so soon, she would have to 
explain her condition to her classmates and the 
teachers. Dad tried to come up with a suitable excuse, 
but Annie had already thought about it.

'No, I'm going to tell it like it is,' she said. 'I 
might be able to explain why I'm so tired and all, but 
it will be bloody hard to explain the bandages on my 
wrists. I might as well get it out in the open. It 
worked pretty well here didn't it?' She added with a 
grin.

'Do you think that's a good idea?' mom asked a little 
worried.

I don't know what worried mom most, Annie's reputation 
or her mental state.

'Yes, I think it's better than trying to hide it. 
Somebody is bound to guess it anyway and then the gossip 
will start.' Annie said.

'You're right, but don't expect it to be easy. A lot of 
your friends and classmates will probably find it very 
difficult and embarrassing,' dad said.

Annie hesitated, 'I know but it's still better than 
hearing the whispering in the corners and the odd looks. 
I'll face it, I have to,' she said, determined.

Annie was tense when dad drove us to school Monday 
morning. He and Annie had spoken with her teacher on 
Sunday. Dad asked if Annie wanted to wait. Annie had 
always been stubborn and this was no exception. She was 
nervous but she was determined to go through with it. I 
offered to be with her and be there, while she told 
them, but she declined. Maybe, it was more for my own 
sake than hers. I don't really know what I could have 
done.

Annie looked much more relaxed, when I saw her again 
after the first class.

'How did it go? How did they take it?' I wanted to know.

'It was a little difficult but I did it and everybody 
was so sweet. I mean, when I'd explain what had happened 
and all, I told them what dad had said. You know, that I 
knew that they might feel uncomfortable about it and 
they didn't have to, you know, be afraid to talk about 
it, but it would be ok if they didn't, too,' she said 
and hesitated a little. 'And they kind of... you know, 
they all hugged me and I began to cry. It was good. I 
mean, I know it's not over yet, but right now, it feels 
like I've done the right thing. I'm sure I have.'

We embraced and kissed deeply. I didn't think about it 
until later, but it was the first time we'd done that in 
public. It was a relief not to have to tell a lot of 
lies about what had happened to Annie. However, even 
though it went well the first day, there were a few 
incidents later. One of them was concerning Anton.

He was a senior and I didn't really know him, but one of 
the guys on my gym team did. He told me Anton had been 
really upset, when he found out about Annie's suicide 
attempt. He didn't know how to handle it. Maybe he felt 
guilty. At first, he avoided Annie. Perhaps she should 
have taken the initiative and talked to him, but they 
never got around to talking. After a while, Anton began 
to act really shitty, telling everybody that Annie had 
tried to kill herself, because he had broken up with 
her. He acted as if he was proud of it. I think that was 
the one incident that hurt Annie the most.

I had one problem of my own. Considering what Annie had 
done, I felt really bad about having to tell Camilla 
that it only had been a little flirt. I mean, I knew she 
was fond of me and we had been a little intimate at the 
party, even though we weren't going steady or anything 
like that.

I hadn't had time to think about it over the weekend, so 
I faced the problem Monday morning, completely 
unprepared. I was blushing and stuttering, when 
suddenly, I was face to face with Camilla. I did manage 
to tell her that we couldn't see each other but we still 
could be friends but it was so embarrassing and felt 
like it took ages. She didn't get mad or upset, thank 
God, but we didn't talk very much afterwards.

It was as if Annie's mental restitution was over faster 
than the physical. It probably really wasn't like that; 
even though her spirits were considerably lifted, once 
she was back in school and the first week had passed.

Regenerating the lost blood took time. She had to take 
it easy for several weeks. No gymnastics, no physical 
training and lots of sleep. That also meant no sex. The 
doctor told her it would take three months, before she 
was back to normal. Since she was in good shape, she 
could slowly start gymnastics training after six weeks, 
if she felt up to it. Annie had kind of assumed that it 
was the same, when it came to sex. She hadn't dared ask.

Funny, but it didn't matter all that much the first 
couple of weeks. We would sleep together in her bed or 
mine, trying not to push each other out of the narrow 
beds. We could have moved one of the beds, putting them 
together in one room, but somehow we didn't want to do 
that. Mom and dad still had to get used to us as a 
couple, not siblings and even though they never said 
anything, I think it affected us. I mean, they knew we 
had had sex, at least mom did, but it was never 
mentioned.

***

After 5 weeks, our lust began to grow. The closeness was 
good and we enjoyed lying naked together, but it was a 
long time and, as Annie felt better and better, she also 
began to feel the need to do more than just lie 
together. I had felt the urge a lot earlier than that, 
but I didn't try to push it. I mean, the first night I 
was lying naked next to Annie, my dick reacted 
immediately, even though I hadn't as much as considered 
doing anything. I had explained to her that it was kind 
of a reflex reaction and she was kind of flattered that 
she had that effect on me.

We began to talk about the "deadline", the day we could 
have sex again. We planned it a week ahead. Annie was 
already feeling up to it, but she didn't dare start 
before the six weeks had passed.

'Saturday,' Annie said, lying with her back to me like 
spoons, my erect dick nestling between her buttocks.

'Do you think you can wait?' I teased her, having 
detected a hint of arousal in her voice.

'I have to. But next time I try to commit suicide, I'll 
use pills or something. Then I won't have to wait so 
long afterwards,' she joked.

'Don't even considered it! I'll kill you if you try 
again!' I replied in the same tone.

Annie took a deep breath. 'It's just six more days,' she 
said, with more than a hint of excitement in her voice.

'Yeah, six days!' I repeated, my dick twitching 
involuntarily between her buttocks. We lay in silence 
for a while.

'Dan?' Annie asked.

'Uh-Huh,' I mumbled, sleepy.

'It will be something special? Kind of the first time, 
officially. You know, as a real couple?' she said.

'Uh-Huh,' I mumbled again.

'I want it to be special. I want it to be something to 
remember,' Annie said and turned to face me.

'What do you mean?' I asked and opened my eyes.

'I wanted to ask you... I mean, if you don't want to, 
it's ok... if you don't think it's... proper,' Annie 
said.

'You know I will do anything you ask,' I said, 
reassuringly.

'I know, I mean... I only want to do it if you want to 
too,' she said, flustered.

'What is it?' I asked, very awake.

'I would like to try... you know, what we'd... I was 
fantasising about, I mean...' Annie was, for once, timid 
but finally she came around to it. 'I want to try to 
take you... from behind... you know, in the bum.'

'Are you sure?' I asked surprised, having discarded any 
thoughts of that a long time ago, thinking Annie didn't 
want to do it.

'Yes but you have to help me prepare and... I mean, I'll 
wash very carefully and all but... I don't know if... 
Jane says it isn't dirty but... do you think it's 
disgusting?' Annie asked.

'No,' I said, 'I've been fantasising about it sometimes 
after we talked about it.'

'It will be a little like... like losing my virginity,' 
Annie said, more composed now. 'I want to lose it with 
you. I mean, you were my first and the only one, but I 
had broken the seal myself.'

'How?' I asked. I had assumed it had broken during 
gymnastics or something like that.

'I got a little carried away one day and I did it with 
my fingers.'

It was funny, but she seemed much more at ease, talking 
about masturbating than asking if I wanted to make love 
to her from behind. In a way, I found that a little 
strange. And, at that instant, I was more interested in 
the latter.

'Do you really want to do it?' I asked again.

'Yes, if you want to. You have to be gentle and help me 
prepare for it. I talked to Jane... after we... you 
know, and she said that you would have to use a finger 
first and then two to help me get used to having 
something in me.'

'I'll do anything you ask me. I don't want to hurt you,' 
I said, reassuringly.

'I know you don't. Jane said that if I was well prepared 
and relaxed, it wouldn't hurt at all; it would feel so 
good.' Annie said, sounding quite enthusiastic.

'I'm ready,' I said.

'So am I,' Annie sighed, 'but we have to wait until 
Saturday. The doctor said six weeks. We better go to 
sleep now.'

'I think that is easier said than done,' I moaned.

'You want me to go into my own bed?' Annie asked, 
probably joking.

'No way,' I said and pulled her closer to me.

We did fall asleep, of course. But the next six days 
were really hard to get through. We talked about it 
every night. I had to masturbate every day, sometimes 
twice. I don't know how Annie kept herself from 
exploding. On Saturday, I don't think my dick was soft 
for more than an hour, max.

By a stroke of luck, my parents were going out that 
Saturday. They were going to leave at six o'clock and, 
as soon as they were out the door, I was ready.

'I need to wash first,' Annie said and wriggled herself 
out of my arms after the first kiss.

'Okay,' I said, very aroused. 'I'll be waiting.'

I had already showered. I took off my clothes and 
proceed to arrange the mattresses on the floor and take 
the lid off the Vaseline. I felt like she was showering 
for hours but finally she came out from the bathroom. 
She blushed all the way down to her breasts, when she 
saw me.

'I'm very clean now,' she said, blushing a very deep red 
colour.

'You are so beautiful!' It blurted out of me, but I 
really meant it. She was so beautiful.

'I love you so much,' I added.

'I love you too,' Annie said and nestled close to me.

We kissed and I guided her down on the mattresses. In 
spite of our (at least mine) urge to get on with it, we 
took time to just feel each other, kissing and letting 
our hands explore. We rediscovered each other. The past 
six weeks, we had touched each other, but we had 
subconsciously avoided exciting each other. I don't 
think Annie had touched my dick with her hands once and 
I hadn't touched her breasts or pussy with my hands. 
Now, we could do it. Annie was very wet, when my fingers 
reached her pussy.

'I think you forgot to use the towel down here,' I said, 
more outspoken that I usually was.

'I'm so hot,' she gasped.

'I think I can do something about that,' I said, kissing 
her tits and moving down.

'No, I don't want to come before you're in me,' she 
said. 'Let's start.'

'To prepare your bum?' I finished for her.

'Yes.'

'Are you sure? You sound a little insecure about it,' I 
replied.

'Yes. I'm just... It's kind of... kinky and I know it's 
silly but it feels like we are about to do something 
forbidden.'

I thought about it for a moment. In a way, I was feeling 
the same, only I had forgotten all about the "forbidden" 
part of it and was left with a feeling of being about to 
do something kinky and very exciting.

'It still excites you, doesn't it?' I asked.

'God yes! But it also scares me a little. I mean, it can 
hurt.'

'I'll be very careful and stop if it hurt. I'm sure this 
night will be something to remember, even if we do it 
like we always do,' I said, trying to calm her fear.

'No, I want to do it! And I want to come with you in me. 
I want this night to be very special,' she insisted.

'Okay. Do you want me to start preparing you?' I asked, 
knowing how stubborn she could be, once she wanted 
something.

'Yes please,' she replied, relieved.

I took the Vaseline and crawled down between Annie's 
spread legs. She pulled up her legs, exposing herself.

'Begin with your little finger,' Annie suggested.

I coated my little finger with a generous amount of 
Vaseline. Looking at her tiny, crinkled opening, I 
suddenly found it very hard to believe that my dick 
would ever be able to penetrate her without ripping her. 
But if Jane had done it, it had to be possible.

Very cautiously, I pressed my little finger against her 
arse. Much to my surprise, it slipped in almost without 
meeting any resistance. In no time at all, it was 
imbedded to the first joint.

'Does it hurt? Are you okay?' I asked a little 
anxiously.

'It's okay. It feels funny, but it doesn't hurt. It 
feels kind of good,' Annie replied, a bit unsure.

I eased it in to the next joint. Annie's breathing was 
quickening.

'Stop me if it hurts,' I said, as I slowly pressed it 
deeper.

'It's exciting,' Annie replied with a relieved giggled.

Very slowly, I eased all of my little finger into her 
bum. I moved it back a forth a few times.

'Still good?' I asked.

'Yes, try your index finger instead,' Annie replied.

For the first time, the thought of getting my fingers 
soiled crossed my mind. I watched my finger as it popped 
out of her bum, but it looked clean. I think I was a 
little relieved. My index finger got a Vaseline coating 
and slipped in almost as easily as my little finger. I 
was very careful not to be too rash. Steadily, it 
entered her until it was all in.

'How does it feel?' I asked.

'Good and a little bigger,' she said, panting a little 
more than before.

I leaned forward and let my tongue circle her clit.

'Don't,' Annie gasped. 'If you do that I will come in 
two seconds. I ... want to wait.'

I obliged. Instead, I just moved my finger slowly in and 
out to help her get used to it, like we had talked about 
all week. Jane had given Annie some directions as to how 
she, or I, should prepare her for the final penetration. 
She gripped my finger tightly and it seemed even more 
unlikely that I ever would get my dick into that tiny 
opening.

'Try your thumb,' Annie said after a while.

My index finger was longer than my little finger, but it 
still didn't look soiled, when I pulled it out. My 
Vaseline coated thumb met a little more resistance, but 
I worked it in slowly. It was almost double the 
thickness of my index finger and I was beginning to be 
afraid that it would hurt Annie. Annie moaned a little 
as it stretched the tight ring and slipped in.

'Did it hurt?' I asked.

'No, but it feels big,' Annie panted.

'Are you ready for the rest of it?' I asked to make sure 
before I continued.

'Yes,' Annie replied without hesitating.

Slowly, the first joint passed the tight ring of muscles 
and my thumb disappeared into her. The thick second 
joint made her moan again. I really thought that was it.

'Did I hurt you?' I quickly asked, ready to pull back.

'No, I just feel a little... stuffed,' Annie gasped 
back.

'You are,' I replied. 'My thumb is all the way.'

'Try to move it,' Annie said.

Once again, the tight ring of muscle had to give way for 
the thick thumb joint. Annie moaned, but now it began to 
sound like she was enjoying this. After a while, she 
began to move her hips against my thumb as it slowly 
moved in and out of her bum. It looked obscene but 
terribly exciting.

'I think I'm ready for you,' Annie gasped.

'Are you sure? My dick is thicker than my thumb. A lot 
thicker,' I said, slightly worried about the change of 
plans. I was supposed to use two fingers now and then my 
dick.

'I'm ready!' she gasped. 'I need you now. It doesn't 
matter if it hurts a little. It's supposed to hurt when 
you lose your virginity,' she added, trying to giggle 
while she was panting.

'You're in charge, but please promise to tell me to stop 
if I'm hurting you,' I said.

'I will, just do it,' Annie said and as soon as my thumb 
had left her bum, she turned around and got up on her 
hands and knees. She looked so inviting, both her pussy 
and her tiny entrance. Her pussy was very red and 
swollen. I couldn't recall if I'd ever seen her so wet 
before. Small droplets were running down her inner 
thighs.

Annie's bum was thoroughly greased with Vaseline, but I 
didn't want to take any risk and gave my dick a good 
coating too. I was ready. I got up on my knees behind 
her and positioned my cock at the entrance. It looked 
impossible, simply impossible. But I didn't care. I had 
never been more excited, consciously excited. I mean, I 
was very excited the first times I did something with 
Annie, but this time I was so much more aware.

Annie felt the head touched her. She took a deep breath 
and tried to relax.

'Careful,' she whispered as a signal for me to go on.

'I will. Please tell me if it hurts,' I replied.

Very slowly, I increased the pressure. I don't think my 
dick had ever been so hard before, but I wasn't thinking 
about it. If I had been thinking about it, I would 
probably have come on the spot. It was so exciting, but 
again I was concerned that it would hurt her. It looked 
so impossible. I tried to brace myself with the thought 
that Jane had done it, but it still occupied my mind. 
Which in a way was good, because it definitely kept me 
from coming from sheer excitement.

Nothing happened at first. Annie's bum was tightly 
sealed and didn't give at all. I tried to massage the 
lower part of her back to help her relax, but it didn't 
help much. Nothing happened. Again, I increased the 
pressure. Maybe I had been too generous with the 
Vaseline. My dick slipped and I had to start over again. 
We both giggled nervously and perhaps relieved at the 
little mishap.

This time I held on to my dick as I increased the 
pressure. The head slowly began to stretch the tender 
skin.

'Does it hurt?' I asked, realising that I was breathing 
very heavily, almost as if I was doing 100 push-ups.

'No, is it in?' Annie asked in return.

'No, just the tip,' I said, prompting an impatient sigh 
from Annie.

'Push hard and let's get it over with,' Annie said.

I tried to assess how much more she would have to 
stretch to accommodate the thickest part of the head. 
With half the head in, she was dilated approximately as 
much as the first joint of my thumb dilated her. I was 
going to tear her up, if I just forced the rest in 
rapidly. I chose to ignore her command and pressed on 
slowly.

Slowly and cautiously I pressed on. Annie was resting 
her head on the pillow and holding her breath. All of a 
sudden, the head popped into her and the ring closed 
behind the rim.

'Ouuuch!' Annie yelped, arching her back.

'Are you okay?' I asked, anxiously.

'Yes!' she gasped. 'Just hold it there, okay?'

She was breathing rapidly, but tried to get her 
breathing under control, taking a deep breath. It felt 
as if she was trying to bite off the head of my dick, 
but as she regained control of herself, the pressure 
eased slightly. Or maybe I just got used to it. I waited 
a minute, maybe more.

'Slowly,' she gasped.

I pushed in a fraction of an inch.

'Oh god... slowly... oh god, oh god... slowly,' Annie 
moaned, almost whimpered as I pushed in a tiny bit at a 
time.

It was an absurd, but extremely exciting sight to see my 
dick disappear into her bum. My mind was racing. It was 
possible and we were doing it! It was nothing like my 
fantasies, it was even more exciting.

In my state of excitement, I interpreted Annie's moans 
and whimpers as signs of her excitement. Half my dick 
was in her, before she asked me to stop.

'Am I hurting you?' I asked, the fright returning.

'How... how much is in now?' she asked, not answering my 
question.

'Half, I think.'

'Try to pull back just a little,' she gasped, before she 
buried her head in the pillow again.

I retracted slowly, until only the head was in her. 
Then, I moved forward again. It felt easier this time 
and I did it a little faster. Two thirds of my dick 
slipped into her, before I pulled back again. Annie 
lifted her head.

'Oh god Dan... make... me...come,' she whimpered.

I had to lean forward over her to reach her pussy with 
one hand, steadying myself on her buttock with the 
other.

'Oh god yes! Ooooh god... no, no, no... oh god, oh god, 
oh, oh gaaawd!'

Annie's whimpers grew in strength and she began to 
shudder. I moved steadily and rubbed her clit. It 
sounded like she was really close already. She held her 
breath, then started to almost scream.

Annie screamed at the top of her lungs, only slightly 
muffled by the pillow.

Her body jerked like she was getting electric shocks. 
She alternated between screaming yes and no. It was 
exciting but the intensity made it kind of scary too. 
Her jerking didn't coincide with anything I did, so I 
just continued. There was no sign that she had come, at 
least she hadn't reached the point where she would 
normally want me to stop. Not that any of her reactions 
were normal, but I don't think I was thinking about 
that.

I was briefly thinking that it was a good thing mom and 
dad weren't home. If it hadn't been for the pillow, I 
might have had to worry about the neighbours hearing us. 
Annie's cries grew louder and more incoherent until she 
just whimpered and screamed.

Suddenly, she tensed and stretched her legs. It took my 
support away and I more or less fell down on top of her 
still upturned arse. I had pulled back, but my dick was 
forced very rapidly into her, deeper than it had been 
before.

Annie squealed with a very high pitched voice.

Her hips moved violently up and down. My hand was forced 
away from her clit and my dick moved very rapidly in her 
tight bum. It was like riding a wild bull and it was 
just too much for me. I hadn't consciously been holding 
back, but seeing, or rather hearing Annie come, brought 
me there, too.

My orgasm was almost as powerful as Annie's sounded. 
Annie's bum contracted so hard around my dick it felt 
like I couldn't come at all. Of course, it didn't stop 
me from coming, it only felt that way. I came like I 
hadn't had an orgasm for six weeks.

Annie was squealing and shaking under me for a long 
time. Then we both collapsed, completely exhausted. I 
realised I was lying with my full weight on Annie and 
got up on my elbows. I could hardly support myself. In 
my mind, she had got what she aimed for; we were going 
to remember our lovemaking this particular night.

'Are you okay Annie?' I asked, still panting heavily.

'I think so,' Annie gasped, hardly audible, because she 
still had her face in the pillow.

'It was fantastic!' I gasped and kissed her neck.

Annie raised her head and turned to look at me as much 
as she could. Her face was flushed and hot, her eyes red 
and slightly swollen, but she was smiling. 'It... was... 
wonderful,' she said.

Two wet spots on the pillow caught my eye.

'You've been crying! It hurt, didn't it? Why didn't you 
say something?' I asked, suddenly feeling very bad about 
it all.

'No..., well, yes, it did hurt, but it got better,' 
Annie said. 'It hurt in the beginning, but when I had 
gotten used to it, felt good. I mean it still hurt, a 
little but it felt good too. Then it just felt good.'

She had to stop to catch her breath again.

'Then when I was about to come, I hurt a little again 
and I couldn't let go. Every time I was just about to go 
over the top, it hurt. Or maybe I was just afraid it 
would hurt. I don't think it actually did. I wanted to 
come, but at the same time, I didn't dare. I mean, it 
wasn't something deliberate, it just felt that way. And 
it felt like I had a thousand small peaks. It just 
dragged it out and kept me on the edge for a long time. 
Suddenly, I couldn't hold it back any more. I just came 
and it didn't hurt. At least I don't think it did. It 
was so overpowering. It was just so fantastic. I don't 
think I have ever felt anything like it.'

'But it still hurt enough to make you cry,' I said, 
still not convinced.

Annie nodded. 'It hurt like hell. But I wanted it and 
Jane had told me that if it did hurt in the beginning, 
it would stop pretty quickly,' she said and added with a 
smiled, 'She hadn't told me it would hurt so much.'

'You're so stubborn. But I love you,' I said and kiss 
her as well as I could in that position.

My cock was still hard. I think Annie's tight bum kept 
the blood from running back. My back and my arms were 
beginning to feel the strain it took keeping my weight 
off Annie.

'Think I'd better pull out now?' I asked.

'Okay. You are a bit heavy,' she replied.

I pulled out and rolled over next to her. Annie yelped. 
'Ouch.'

'Did I hurt you again?'

'God, I'm sore,' she replied and squeezed her legs and 
buttocks tightly together with a painful look on her 
face.

'Oh Annie, why didn't you stop me? It must have been so 
painful. Why did you let me hurt you like that?' I 
asked, really distressed by the fact that I had caused 
her so much pain.

'It didn't hurt all the time and I... I don't know. I 
mean, I didn't know it would end up feeling so good, 
but... I just wanted to do it and... I guess I was 
afraid... I didn't want to disappoint you,' she replied.

'But you know I would never ever want to do something 
that would hurt you,' I said, trying not to sound angry. 
'Please promise me never ever to do anything like that 
again.'

'But it did feel good in the end,' Annie said, 
defensively.

'But you didn't know it would. You made me hurt you. I 
love you so much Annie and the last thing I want to do 
is hurt you.'

'Hey, I didn't know you would care all that much,' Annie 
said, obstinately.

'Christ Annie. What does it take for make you understand 
that I care for you? I love you. Why can't you believe 
it? I thought that was what that suicide attempt was all 
about,' I almost yelled, but I regretted it as soon as I 
had said it.

'But I do know!' Annie protested, tears filling her 
eyes. 'I didn't mean it like that.'

'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it, only... you scare 
me when you do something like that.'

'I didn't think of it that way,' Annie said and wiped a 
tear off her cheek. 

'I... I wish I'd talked to you instead of... cutting 
myself, but... I just want to forget about it.'

I thought about it for a moment. I wanted to forget 
about it too; I thought I had, in a way. But there was 
something left inside, a fear I guess, a fear that I 
would do something that would make her do it again. I 
don't know if it was that clear to me back then, but I 
felt something like that.

'I love you so much, Annie. The last thing I want to do 
is hurt you in any way. I want to forget too. I just 
want you to be sure that I love you,' I said quietly.

'I am,' Annie said.

We hugged each other really tight for a long time. When 
we let go, Annie dried her eyes and smiled weakly.

'I think we'd better clean up a bit,' she said, 'but I'm 
not sure I can walk.'

She wasn't kidding. I had to support her on the way to 
the bathroom and I had to help her into the shower. She 
was really sore back there, but the shower seemed to 
help. I tried not to, but I couldn't help thinking that 
she tried to hide the pain to avoid hurting me. Maybe I 
was wrong, maybe the shower did help. I didn't dare ask.

After we had eaten and were sitting in the living room, 
Annie lying on the sofa because she didn't feel 
comfortable sitting up, she suddenly turned to me with a 
big smile.

'You know what?' she asked, rhetorically. 'I'll only 
remember that fantastic orgasm you gave me. It was just 
so wonderful.'

I could only agree, although I wasn't sure I'd be able 
to forget the rest of it. Maybe I didn't need to. Maybe 
I could get rid of my fear instead. 

I guess I eventually did learn to, and yes, cousins can 
marry.

END

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This story was written as an adult fantasy. The author
does not condone the described behavior in real life in
any way, shape or form. Anyone tempted to act out any
of the scenarios in this story should seriously 
consider seeking professional help.
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Kristen's collection - Directory 79