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This work is copyrighted to the author © 2013.  Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
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Used
by Ed Rider (edrider73@gmail.com)

***

Lexi and I had been dating for more than a year, but 
neither of us called it dating, but we soon found we 
had nothing to talk about and nothing in common except 
one thing. Almost at the same moment, we wondered if 
we could stay friends because the sex was so good. 
That's when we started joking about using each other. 
Both of us loved to experiment, and that's how our 
relationship played out. (MFF, reluc, role-paly, oral, 
anal, voy)

***

Lexi was looking around again.

We were hot and heavy in her bed, twisted in her 
latest crazy configuration. I could tell she was close 
to her first orgasm of the night. And there she was, 
bending her body and twisting her neck in various 
directions like she was trying to find something she 
lost.

I was lost in the moment with my eyes shut until I 
felt her shifting and opened my eyes and saw her. It 
was disconcerting, but not enough to slow down my 
urgency. And then I felt the muscle contractions and 
soft "yip" sounds -- like a little dog -- and her body 
slamming against me, and I knew she was coming again. 
That sent me over the edge, and I began pounding into 
her hard, which I knew she loved because it kept her 
orgasms going.

Time seemed to stop for a while as her pleasure and 
mine reached a peak before we finally returned to 
ground leve.

"Thanks," she said in voice that was out of breath. 
"That was amazing."

"Thank you back," I said. "You didn't seem into it for 
a while, but I guess we got there in the end."

"What do you mean?" she said.

"I saw you looking for something," I said. "It seemed 
like you were distracted."

"I wasn't distracted at all," she said, sounding a 
little peeved.

"I'm not upset," I said. "Don't get angry. It's just 
that I've noticed you've been doing this lately, and 
I've been wondering if this is a sign that you're 
tired of using me. Maybe I'm all used up."

Lexi and I had been dating for more than a year, but 
neither of us called it dating. At the very beginning, 
we did go to a show or eat dinner, but we soon found 
we had nothing to talk about and nothing in common 
except one thing. Almost at the same moment, we 
apologized for not being into each other but wondered 
if we could stay friends because the sex was so good.

That's when we started joking about using each other. 
Both of us had strong sex drives, and both of us loved 
to experiment. And that's how our relationship played 
out, usually around twice a week. After learning my 
lesson once, I made sure to never schedule a workout 
at the club on a day when we got together. When I was 
with her, I used every muscle in my body and all my 
lung power. When we were done, I was as limp as a wet 
rag.

As far as I could tell, the other stuff she did was as 
boring as what I did. We were both considered smart by 
our friends -- she worked in web graphics, and I 
worked in finance -- but you couldn't tell it by our 
empty lives. At least mine was empty. Looking back, I 
don't think I was a bad person, just selfish. I never 
asked her what she was doing when she wasn't with me, 
and she didn't ask me. I thought we both felt that any 
real intimacy would adversely affect our lustful 
pleasures.

We used each other to explore almost every variety of 
sex for two people. Neither of us ever got interested 
in adding another body. Also, we didn't get much into 
things like pain and humiliation. Sometimes we knocked 
on the door and took a step or two inside, because we 
tended toward the hot and heavy rather than gentle and 
dreamy. But when I made overtures toward anal sex a 
few times, she declined firmly.

Recently, she had been experimenting with squeezing, 
pulling and twisting my testicles, and spanking me 
hard on my butt. It didn't bother me enough to affect 
my arousal, but I didn't like it and told her so. 
Rather than just agree to my wishes, she said I came 
much harder when she did it. It sounded as though she 
wanted to continue. That's the first time I mentioned 
that if we were running out of things that we both 
liked, maybe we had used each other up. It stopped her 
a moment, and she asked me if I really thought so. I 
told her it was just a joke, but I think she saw 
through me.

When I brought it up again now, I could tell she had 
thought about it. "After you mentioned it before, I 
thought a lot about us," she said. "I don't have any 
answers, but I can tell you for sure that what I was 
doing today has nothing to do with that.

"I know you watch porn on the Web, and I don't care. I 
don't usually watch it, but Raven sent me a link to a 
video a few weeks ago because she knows we like exotic 
positions. It was that pretzel thing we did last week 
where we could barely get untangled. Anyway, after I 
watched it, I wondered what else there might be out 
there, and I looked at some other stuff.

"I didn't find anything we haven't already tried, 
except for some things I know you wouldn't be into, 
but just watching others doing it got me thinking 
about watching us. I fantasized that there was a way I 
could leave my body while we were having sex and walk 
around us looking at everything we were doing in 
extreme close-up, just like those porn videos.

"That's what I've been trying to do. It's impossible 
to really watch us doing it, but when I get some 
glimpses, it gets me even more excited. So I'm not 
distracted. I'm more aroused than ever, if that's 
possible."

"I apologize," I said. "Now I understand. So this is 
something new for you, not an escape."

"Yes," she said. "I just wish that my fantasy could 
come true. It's so frustrating. You know what I was 
thinking? It wouldn't be the same, but what if we 
could do a video of us making love. That wouldn't be 
as good as my fantasy, but it's probably as close as 
we could come.

"I don't see why we couldn't," I said. "We could set 
up a camera and even some lights."

"I thought about that," she said. "That wouldn't be 
any good. I've seen those videos on the Web, and the 
couple has to think about staying in camera range and 
zooming in and out. It takes all the excitement and 
spontaneity out of what they are doing.

"No, the only way to do it would be to have someone 
come and film us. The person could move around 
everywhere to get the best shots, and we would just 
focus on having crazy sex. But that doesn't work 
either, because neither of us wants to share our 
special times with anyone else. So it's a Catch-22, 
unless you can think of something else."

"You're right," I said, "that would be a problem."

***

I didn't think about the video anymore, and things 
went on about the same. She continued to look around 
while we had sex, but it no longer bothered me. A few 
months later, I noticed something else different. She 
was no longer coming up with new things to do. As 
usual, she always had things to suggest, but they were 
all things we had done before. At first, I didn't say 
anything, because I really enjoyed everything we did 
together. But finally, I asked her about it one night.

"Are you complaining?" she said.

"No," I said. "I was just wondering."

"When was the last time you suggested something new?" 
she said.

"I don't know," I said.

"I can't remember either," she said. "But it's been 
months since you offered anything. I finally got tired 
of carrying the ball."

"So we're doing our greatest hits now?" I said.

"Are you complaining?" she said again.

"No," I said again. "But I'll try to come up with 
something so you don't have to do all the work."

"That's why I stopped doing it, when it seemed like 
work," she said. "You don't need to work at it to 
please me. I'm enjoying what we're doing."

"Me, too," I said.

I never did come up with anything new, but as far as I 
could tell, we were both still having a good time. 
About two months later, she was getting dressed to go 
after an energetic evening, and she brought up the 
video thing again.

"Have you solved the problem of who would film us?" I 
asked.

"Maybe," she said. "I've thought about the two of us 
and how another person in the room might affect us, 
and I've decided it wouldn't be so bad if it was the 
right person."

"What do you mean?" I said.

"I mean, it would need to be someone we were 
comfortable with, someone we both know, someone who 
wouldn't inhibit us, someone we could trust," she 
said.

"That doesn't sound like anyone I know," I said.

"What about your friend, Jerry," she said.

"Do you know Jerry?" I said.

"I've met him a few times," she said. "I didn't know 
he was your friend until a few weeks ago. But I know 
he's head of communications at his company and he does 
a lot of video shooting and editing. Do you trust 
him?"

I wanted to ask her about how she knew Jerry, but we 
never asked each other about what we did when we 
weren't together. I thought about Jerry. He was not 
just a friend. He was my oldest and closest friend. 
We'd known each other since high school. We sort of 
lost touch for a while when he went to college out of 
town and I stayed here. But when he moved back, it was 
like we never skipped a beat. And that's the way it's 
been since. Sometimes I don't see him for months, and 
sometimes we get together almost every week for a 
while. I tell him everything about my life, and he 
tells me everything about his. But I never told him 
about Lexi, maybe because I thought of her as 
belonging to a second life that had nothing to do with 
my real life. It had been a while since I last talked 
to Jerry, and I had been thinking of calling him but 
hadn't gotten around to it.

"What are you thinking?" asked Lexi when I didn't 
respond to her question.

"I was thinking about Jerry," I said. "I don't know 
that I'd want him involved in this. Have you mentioned 
it to him?"

"Yes," she said. "At first, he was really against it. 
But I think I've talked him into it. Why don't you ask 
him?"

"I don't know," I said. I was wondering how she and 
Jerry got into that kind of conversation and if they 
were sleeping with each other. If they were, why would 
he agree to something like this? All sorts of things 
were running through my mind. When I was with Lexi, I 
never thought about anything but sex. Now I was having 
strange, unfamiliar feelings.

"Well, if you don't trust him enough, I'll try to 
think of someone that I can totally trust," she said. 
"I know one person for sure, but you don't like her."

"You mean Raven," I said. "Is she a video expert?"

"No," she said. "but I'm sure she could learn enough 
to do this if you prefer her over your friend."

I thought about her gaunt roommate who affected a 
strange voice, had stringy black hair, wore black 
lipstick and purple stuff around her eyes and dressed 
in what looked like black rags sewn together. I had 
met her only a couple of times, but each time she had 
made no effort to hide the fact that she thought I was 
some kind of ignorant square whom she and her fellow 
goths considered beneath contempt. The second time she 
started on me, I let her know how I and normal people 
laughed at the way she and her sick weirdo friends 
dressed and talked. I must have hit a nerve, because 
she broke down and started crying hysterically until 
Lexi hugged her and talked to her and motioned for me 
to get out of there. After that, Lexi made sure I 
wasn't in the same room as Raven again.

"Raven gives me the willies," I said. "I don't think 
I'd feel like having sex if she was in the room."

"OK," said Lexi. "Let's try to think of some other 
people. I can tell you aren't as interested in this as 
I am. For me, it's something that we'll always have, 
and we can watch it whenever we want and remember the 
great times we've had together. I've never asked you 
for much, but I really want this."

"I understand," I said. "I'll think about it some 
more." What I was thinking was that it sounded like we 
were finished and she wanted the video as a souvenir. 
Again, other strange thoughts came into my mind, but I 
didn't want to deal with them. A couple of days later, 
I called Jerry at work.

"Yes, I said I'd do it," he said, "but I told her that 
I wasn't comfortable about it and that you would never 
agree anyway."

"If you're not comfortable about it, why did you 
agree?" I said.

"She's very persuasive," he said.

"Are you sleeping with her?" I said.

"No," he said. "I wanted to, but on our second date, 
when we were telling each other out life histories, I 
mentioned your name, and she freaked. She wouldn't 
tell me why she was acting so weird, but the next time 
we got together, she told me all about the two of 
you."

"I don't know why she did that," I said, "because I'm 
not really part of her life, and I wouldn't be upset 
if you slept with her."

"She told me all about your special arrangement," 
Jerry said, "and she said that you wouldn't mind 
whatever we did, but I told her that even though you 
and I were friends, we didn't agree about a lot of 
stuff, and I would never have sex with her while she 
was with you. That got her upset, but I think she 
understands now."

"So you're still seeing her?" I said.

"Yes, we get together occasionally," he said.

"But you don't sleep with her," I said. "I'm really 
surprised, because I can't think of what else you 
could do with her. She's as shallow and vacuous as I 
am. There's nothing there but an amazing body."

"I'm surprised that you say that," he said. "I love to 
talk to her. Her ideas are so interesting and so is 
what she's doing with her life. She's likes a lot of 
the same books I do -- and music and movies, too. But 
what I like best is when we talk about things we don't 
have in common. I've learned so much from her. She's 
really a special person."

"I can't believe you're talking about Lexi," I said. 
"I don't know how she's fooling you, but she's not 
anything like you describe her."

"She can't fake the stuff we talk about," he said. 
"It's pretty deep. I don't know if this explains 
anything, but once when we talked about you, she said 
that she used to be the same as you, but about six 
months ago, something clicked for her. The way she put 
it is that she started growing as a human being, but 
you stayed the same. She says she tried a few times to 
interest you in some of her new feelings, but you 
never responded. She doesn't even think you heard 
her."

"Well, I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm any 
different," I said. "But I just can't believe she is 
either. The only thing I've noticed is that maybe 
she's getting tired of me."

"Did she tell you that?" he said.

"No," I said. "It's just certain things she says and 
the way she says them. I could be wrong."

"How would you feel if it was true?" he said.

"I don't know," I said. "I really love being with her. 
We always have a great time, and I always look forward 
to the sex. I've never given any thought to ending our 
relationship, but since she's been acting this way, 
I've had some strange thoughts."

"You should talk to her about your thoughts," he said, 
"and ask her what she's thinking."

"But we've never done that," I said. "It's sort of an 
unwritten rule we have, because we both know it might 
get in the way of what we like to do together."

"If things have changed, like you think they have, 
then you should break that rule," he said. "Or you 
might regret it later."

"You're probably right," I said. "Thanks for the 
advice. I'm still having trouble thinking that the 
Lexi I know and the one you describe are the same 
person. This video thing sounds like my Lexi, not 
yours."

"Maybe," he said.

After that we caught up on some things, and neither of 
us mentioned the video again before we hung up.

***

Lexi didn't either, until I was about to leave her 
home a week later. It was late. We had spent the 
evening at her place, and I was dressed and walking 
out of the bedroom when she said, "I heard you talked 
to Jerry."

I turned around. "Yes," I said.

She seemed to be waiting for me to say something. 
There were things I wanted to tell her about the 
conversation with Jerry and things I wanted to ask 
her. If I did, I knew that what we had together would 
be over. Everything would be different. Maybe it would 
be better, but I was also worried that it might be 
worse. In the end, I was more afraid than optimistic. 
I was a coward. I didn't say anything, but I was also 
afraid to leave.

I heard her sigh. "He said you mentioned the video but 
you never told him whether you were OK with him doing 
it or not."

So that's what she was waiting for, I thought. Jerry 
had me thinking all kinds of things about her, but 
she's the same old Lexi. She wants her video. Well, 
why not?

"OK," I said.

"What did you say?" she said.

"I said I'll do it," I said.

She didn't say anything, but she jumped up from the 
bed and held onto me for dear life. She really wants 
that video, I thought, as she gave me a long kiss. But 
something bothered me when she let me loose, and I 
left. I noticed my face was wet. She must have been 
crying during our brief conversation. What was she 
crying about?

***

Jerry phoned me the next day.

"You're really going through with this?" he said. "I 
can't believe it."

"Yes," I said. "I don't know why, so don't ask me. Are 
you going to be totally grossed out watching us?"

"I don't know," he said. "I was thinking about that. 
I'm going to try to stay removed by concentrating on 
all the technical stuff, lighting, angles, zooms and 
all that. But I warned Lexi that I don't know how I'm 
going to feel afterward. I might not want to see her 
again. I'm immune to your disgusting sex life, but I 
don't know how I'll feel about watching her with you. 
She got really upset when I said that. I wonder what 
she'll do. I guess it depends on how much she cares 
what I think."

Maybe Lexi did have second thoughts, because I didn't 
hear from her for a week and a half, and she didn't 
return my calls. It was rare that we stayed away from 
each other that long unless one of us was out of town 
on business. Finally, she called, and the following 
night, after another hot session, she told me to put a 
date on my calendar. It was a Friday night a few weeks 
away. She sounded a little nervous when she told me, 
and I remembered what Jerry had said. She had decided 
to take the risk, I thought.

A few nights later, we got together again. She looked 
like she wanted to say something before we started, 
and she had the same look afterward, but she never 
mentioned the video or anything else. I did notice 
that she seemed a little distant during the sex. She 
was as energetic as always, and she came as often as 
ever, but whenever her face came into view, I noticed 
that it wasn't showing the pure lust that it usually 
did. I figured the reason was she was nervous about 
the video.

A few nights later, it was a repeat. She seemed about 
to say something when I got there, and then she had 
that different look again while we went at each other. 
When I was putting on my shoes, she took a deep breath 
and told me what was on her mind. It was so weird that 
I didn't believe I was hearing right.

"Morgan, please sit down and don't say anything until 
I finish," she said. "I've been thinking about the 
video. You know what I told you the first time about 
my fantasy. I wanted to watch us having sex, but that 
was physically impossible. So I came up with the video 
idea as the closest I could get to my fantasy.

"But I've been thinking. There are two parts to my 
fantasy. One is doing all the wild things we've done 
together -- like you said, our greatest hits -- and 
the other part is watching us do it. That's different 
from watching a video. The more I thought about it, 
the more I realized that I'm more excited about 
watching us than I am about doing it.

"Don't get insulted. I love doing it, but as we both 
know, we've done it plenty. Watching us do it is more 
exciting because I've never had an experience like 
that and this will probably be my only chance. After 
that, I can watch the video, but it won't be the same. 
Do you understand?"

"No," I said. "I have no idea what you're talking 
about. You can't be in two places at once, so how can 
you watch us have sex as we're having sex."

"Yes," she said. "That's my fantasy, and I know I can 
never have that. Having Jerry make the video is a 
compromise. And what I'm talking about is another 
compromise. I would be able to watch us live. I could 
look wherever I wanted. I could walk around the bed, 
get on it, get next to it, move back or stick my face 
as close to every body part as I wanted to. I could 
get splashed with the juices and hear every sigh and 
moan crystal clear. I would see what our faces looked 
as we came. I would get to see every movement at every 
moment."

"I still don't understand," I said. "You can't be 
having sex with me if you are watching."

"But an actress who's playing me could," she said.

At first, I was so stunned that I had nothing to say.

After some seconds of silence, she said, "I've figured 
it all out and I've already talked to Raven. She 
hasn't agreed yet, but I know she'll give in."

"No!" I yelled. At that point, I knew Lexi had gone 
out of her mind. She knew it, too, and that's why she 
had been scared to say anything. But in the end, she 
couldn't let go of the fantasy, and it drove her mad. 
I looked at her. She was smiling.

"I wish you wouldn't be so hesitant about telling me 
how you feel," she said, and she laughed.

"So you've been pulling my leg," I said.

"No, I'm serious," she said. "But I expected that to 
be your first reaction. Jerry was even louder."

"I hate Raven, and she hates me," I said. "You're 
nothing like her. You're hot, and she's weird. You are 
fun, and she's nasty. You don't look like each other. 
Your body makes my mouth water. She's scrawny and 
lumpy. Even if I agreed with your crazy idea, she 
would be the last person in the world who could stand 
in for you. You couldn't feed me enough Viagra to get 
it up for her." Lexi's smile grew bigger as my voice 
got louder.

"Everything you've just said convinces me she has to 
be the one," she said. "You and she are going to be 
wild together. You'll push each other over the edge, 
like we do. You'll both be angry, so you'll be coming 
from a different starting place, but you'll end up 
doing amazing things together.

"And I know that once you get started, you'll forget 
the hate anyway, because lust is going to take over. 
You're so wrong about her. She's got a great body. She 
just hides it under her goth armor. I'm going to make 
her clean up for you, and you're not going to need any 
Viagra. I know you're going to come at least twice, 
and I bet you make her come as much as me. I know this 
is going to be a night that none of us is ever going 
to forget. You and Raven have got to do it."

"No I don't," I said. "I know Jerry thinks I was crazy 
to agree to do it with you in front of him, but I'm 
not this crazy. There is nothing you can say to make 
me change my mind. I'm sorry to make your fantasy 
crash and burn, but I just can't do it."

She was still smiling. "Tell me why not," she said, 
and then she didn't wait for me to answer. "I don't 
have time to teach Raven everything I do with you, so 
I'm only going to practice the stuff that really 
drives you wild. It will be the best of the best, and 
since she's looking at it with fresh eyes, she'll 
probably find some ways to make it even crazier. I've 
never told her about what we do, but she's told me 
some of the things she's done, and I've used them with 
you. Most of them really got you going. You totally 
don't know her. She's much more out there than I am."

"You don't have to convince me of that," I said. "I 
was wondering where you picked up that spanking stuff 
and attacking my balls. Now I know."

Lexi ignored me. "You've got to do it," she said. 
"Both of you have got to do it. Just tell me you'll 
think about it."

"I'll tell you right now that I won't think about it," 
I said. "The answer is no, no matter what she says." I 
stood up. "I'm leaving now."

She was naked, but she followed me to the door and as 
I was walking out, she said, "Just think about it."

I said "no" without turning around.

***

I didn't call her after that, but two days later she 
called me. "Raven's on board," she said. "She doesn't 
think you'll show up, but I got her to agree.

"How did you do that?" I said.

"I'll tell you later," she said, "because you won't be 
happy about it."

"Well, tell Raven that I'm sorry I have to disappoint 
her."

"We've already been practicing," Lexi said. "I'm you, 
and I'm teaching her how to be me. We're not getting 
naked or anything like that, but we get so excited 
that we both come. You are going to be surprised by 
what she can do."

"Maybe you and she can do it for Jerry," I said, 
"because I won't be there."

"You don't want to miss this, Morgan," she said.

"I've got to go now," I said and hung up before she 
could say another word.

Two days later, she called again. "I've thought of why 
you have to do it," she said with a laugh.

"I'm all ears," I said.

"Think of the worst possible scenario first," she 
said. "You and Raven just don't click. She can't get 
you aroused, and after a while, everyone's 
embarrassed, and we all go home. Is that so bad? In a 
couple of weeks, it will be funny."

"Good job," I said. "You are so good, I think you 
could talk a happy person into a depression."

"And the best case scenario is that you and Raven have 
such good chemistry that the two of you are even 
better together than we are. Both of you will go crazy 
with each other and explode together like fireworks 
making a beautiful show for me and you to watch later.

"It's probably going to be somewhere in between those 
extremes," she said, "so there will be some fun and 
some stuff that's not as much fun. You only have to do 
it once, and you're doing it for me."

"What does Jerry say?" I said.

"Why don't you ask him?" she said.

"I can't talk to him about this," I said. "You tell 
me."

"He said he can't understand why any man would agree 
to do this," she said. "I told him you were different 
from him. When it comes to women, you don't think 
about anything but your pleasure. I told him that 
doesn't make you a bad person, and that you give me a 
lot of pleasure, so you aren't completely selfish. Was 
I wrong?"

"No," I said, "but when you say it like that, it 
depresses me."

"That's why I can't talk about things like this with 
you like I do with Jerry," she said.

"That depresses me even more," I said.

"What do you mean?" she said.

"Nothing," I said. "Forget it. And forget this thing 
with Raven, too."

"Listen," she said. "I'm calling in my favors, mister. 
I've done a lot for you, and it's time to pay up, 
buddy." She was speaking in a tough broad voice. Then 
she laughed. "Seriously, I think you owe this to me." 
She laughed again.

"Lady, you come 10 times to my once," I said. "You're 
the one who owes me."

"OK," she said. "I'm ready to pay up. What do you 
want?"

"Never mind," I said. "Just forget it, and forget your 
crazy scheme."

"No," she said, "I'm not going to forget it. You've 
got to do it."

There were more conversations every few days. It was 
always her calling with another silly way to make me 
see the light. She was never serious or dramatic. It 
was always funny, as if she and I both knew there was 
no serious way to talk about it. Each time after I 
told her no and we hung up, I thought about one thing. 
She was so funny, and I had never noticed that about 
her.

I also started missing sex with her. When she called, 
she only talked about watching me and Raven and never 
mentioned getting together. I was in between 
girlfriends, and it was getting frustrating. I should 
have brought it up, but for some reason, it felt like 
I was asking her to do something for me when I 
wouldn't do something for her. It wasn't the same at 
all, because we both liked to do what I wanted, but I 
still didn't ask her about getting together.

On the Wednesday before the Friday, she called and 
told me she wouldn't call me again. She said that 
Raven would be at her place Friday night and ready for 
me, and Jerry would be all set up to film everything, 
and she was so excited about it she was almost jumping 
out of her skin.

"Too bad I won't be there," I said. "I have other 
plans."

"I thought of a way to get you to come," she said. 
"I'm going to lie to you now. If you show up, you can 
check out the scene and everyone who's there, and if 
you decide that you really can't do it with Raven, I 
might give in and do it with you because it would be a 
shame to waste the night. I haven't had sex in almost 
two weeks now, and I'm ravenous.

"Me, too," I said, waiting for her to invite me over. 
She didn't take the cue.

"Just so you understand that when I say I might do it, 
I'm probably lying," she said. "But if I am, maybe 
you'll watch Jerry filming me and Raven. Or maybe I'll 
watch Raven filming you and Jerry. You're such good 
friends, he keeps telling me. Maybe you'd be even 
better lovers." There was something strange in her 
voice when she said this, but then she sounded happy 
again.

"Just think of the possibilities, Morgan," she said. 
"I know you're going to show up Friday night, even if 
you don't want to do anything. You've got to be as 
curious as I am about what might happen."

"I don't think so," I said. "I'm sorry to spoil the 
party."

"You won't," she said. "Goodbye." And then she hung up 
before I could say anything else.

I didn't sleep much that night. All kinds of thoughts 
were keeping me awake, and the next day at work I was 
exhausted. Whenever I was nodding off, the same kinds 
of thoughts came back. When I got home, it was the 
same, and I started to drowse while watching 
television. I went to bed but couldn't fall asleep. 
The last thing I remember was looking at the clock at 
11 p.m. Then it was morning, and I woke up refreshed. 
I didn't think about Lexi once during the day, and the 
first time she came to mind was when found myself 
pulling into a guest parking spot beneath her 
building.

My body shook for a moment. I had no idea how I got 
there. I didn't remember driving there from work. What 
was happening to me?

I thought about what was going on three flights above 
me. I imagined the three of them talking while they 
were waiting for me. What were they saying? What would 
they say an hour from now when they realized I wasn't 
coming. Would they be upset, or would they laugh about 
how crazy it all was. What if I showed up in a couple 
of hours, and we all had some wine and laughed about 
it together. Would they still be there? Would they 
have all gone home? Would Lexi be angry and slam the 
door in my face. Or would she jump me and wear me out 
with wild sex? Did she even want me anymore? Did I 
want her? Yes I did, but did I deserve her, or did 
Jerry deserve her more?

As I was thinking all this and more, I looked down at 
my feet, and then I looked up and saw Lexi's door. I 
didn't remember getting out of the car and taking the 
elevator. I knew I had to turn around and go back to 
my car and drive home. But instead I knocked on the 
door.

I heard a woman's voice scream, "Omigod, he came." I 
couldn't tell if it was Lexi's voice or Raven's. Then 
I heard some voices talking fast, but I couldn't make 
out any words. Then the door opened, and I saw Lexi.

"Welcome, Morgan," she said. I stared at her. She 
wasn't wearing much, but it was the hottest dress I'd 
ever seen on her. It was shiny red, with red fringes 
everywhere, and it was clinging to her like a spider 
web, except where her beautiful breasts were almost 
falling out of it. As she turned and took a step back 
to let me enter, I saw that it only covered half her 
butt, and after that it was only fringes that shook 
and gave a glimpse of her dazzling round ass cheeks 
trying to escape from her bikini panties.

"You know Raven and Jerry," she said, and I looked up 
from her butt. Jerry was standing behind her on the 
right looking bewildered. His mouth was hanging open, 
and that made me realize mine was, too, so I closed 
it. I looked around and saw Raven at the other end of 
the room, next to Lexi's bedroom door. She slowly 
walked toward me, and I saw she looked different, but 
I didn't know why. She was wearing one of her dark 
outfits with the rags hanging down.

As she came closer, she stopped about three feet from 
me, and I realized why she looked different. She 
didn't have any makeup on, and her hair was up in a 
bun. Lexi must have told her what turned me off, was 
the first thing I thought, but that thought didn't 
last long, because two other thoughts replaced it and 
never let it come back.

The first thought was the realization that she was 
beautiful. Lexi was a knockout with her flowing dark 
blond hair, but this Raven with nothing on her lips or 
her face was stunning. She had the kind of face that 
you saw in fashion magazines. With her hair in that 
bun, she looked like a ballet dancer, the most 
gorgeous ballet dancer I had ever seen. The only thing 
that spoiled her looks was her expression. She had a 
snarl on her face. Even her beauty couldn't hide the 
contempt and anger she was feeling as she looked at 
me.

The second thought started as she began slowly taking 
off her clothes. When the rags dropped to the floor, I 
saw she wasn't skinny and lumpy at all. She was tall, 
very tall. She must have been my height or maybe a 
couple of inches taller. But everything was in perfect 
proportion, at least for my tastes. Beneath her dress, 
she was wearing some kind of thin black one-piece 
thing that was so tight, it looked like she had been 
poured into it. It was moulded around some amazing 
breasts and an equally amazing ass. I felt my mouth 
drop again as she took my hand. She turned slightly to 
the right and lifted my hand up to the back of her 
neck and placed it on a zipper. Like a sleepwalker, I 
slowly pulled the zipper down her back. It went so low 
that before it stopped, that I saw the crack between 
her cheeks. When I dropped my hand, she turned back to 
face me again and began slowly shrugging out of her 
cloth thing. I watched her and forgot about everything 
except her stunning face and body. She didn't say a 
word. Nobody said a word.

When she was naked, she took my hand again and slowly 
pulled me toward the bedroom. Most of the next hour 
was a blur. I noticed a few things, like the bright 
lights that made it seem like we were having sex on 
the beach. I noticed we were doing things that drove 
me wild with lust, things that Lexi and I did, but 
they felt new and different and more exciting. Maybe 
it was because of her arms and legs. They were so 
long, they felt like tentacles wrapped around me. She 
pulled me to her so tightly that I had to work really 
hard to move, and then she loosened her arms and legs 
and let me pound away, only to slowly tighten them up 
again and make me pant with my efforts.

The nasty look on her face was soon gone, replaced by 
a lascivious expression that would have aroused a 
statue. She was as totally absorbed in pleasure as 
Lexi ever was, and soon the orgasms started. Hers were 
different than Lexi's. There were soft moans and 
little shakes of her entire body, as if each time she 
came, she turned into a jiggling bowl of Jell-O.

I heard a voice as we were tearing at each other, but 
it wasn't Raven's. It was Lexi's. She was the 
director, and she was softly telling Raven what to do. 
I could hear some of her instructions, because Lexi 
was all over us. Whichever way I turned or rolled or 
slid, she was there, inspecting our bodies up and 
down, mostly where our genitals were connecting. I 
think I saw her face more than Raven's. Jerry must 
have been close to the action, too, but I never saw 
him, and I didn't know how close he was until I 
finally watched the video a long time later.

We moved from one position to another, and several 
times I felt close to coming, but each time, Lexi said 
something to Raven, and she lowered the intensity. I 
remember thinking that Lexi could read me like a book 
and knew exactly how I breathed and what kinds of 
sounds I made when I was close to coming.

As we went through the greatest hits, I overdosed on 
pleasure until I started becoming frustrated at not 
being allowed to have an orgasm. And I also gradually 
became exhausted as Raven's long arms and legs 
squeezed the life out of me. I started thinking that I 
might pass out before I could come.

I was on top of Raven, holding myself up while I 
pounded into her when I ran out of gas and collapsed 
on top of her. As I lay there with my head on her 
wondrous breasts, I saw Lexi's face move next to 
Raven's. She was whispering something into her ear.

Then Raven spoke for the first time. "You lasted 
longer than I thought you would, Morgan," she said, 
"and I'm almost ready to let you come. But you've got 
a little more work to do first. You need to get up now 
and put my legs on your shoulders."

I heard her, but I wanted to rest a little longer on 
her wonderful chest. Then I screamed as she hit me 
hard on the left butt with her right hand.

"Get up, Morgan," she said. "Do what I tell you." I 
screamed again as she hit my right butt with her left 
hand. I tried to lift myself up, but it was hard. 
Smack! Down came her left hand, then the right hand 
immediately after.

"I'm going to keep spanking you until you do what I 
say," said Raven. I heard a giggle, and I turned to 
see Lexi kneeling next to the bed, bent over my butt 
and staring. She was enjoying Raven doing what I 
wouldn't let her do.

I tried to get up, but it wasn't fast enough for 
Raven. She began spanking me in a slow, nonstop 
rhythm. Each time, it stung harder and I gradually 
felt a horrible hot pain getting stronger, like 
someone was aiming a blowtorch at my rear.

Finally, when I got on my knees, she stopped. I lifted 
her legs up, but it was more like she was lifting them 
herself and dropping them onto my shoulders.

"Now move closer to me and push against my legs," said 
Raven. As I did, I looked at her. The lustful 
expression was gone from her face, and the face of 
hate and anger was back. Suddenly, I was afraid of 
her. Pushing her legs back had lifted her butt off the 
bed and into the air. I was still inside her. My butt 
was burning and I felt the pain spreading from there 
through my body, but I was still hard and anxious to 
come.

"Get to work," she said. She was almost spitting out 
her orders.

I began to move in and out of her. "Ow!" I screamed. 
She had slapped both butt cheeks again. Her long arms 
easily reached around me.

"Harder!" she said.

I began to move faster, and she began to grunt. It 
wasn't long before she spanked me again and said 
"Harder!" I tried to go faster. She kept prodding me 
this way until I was pounding her into the mattress, 
and she was bouncing back up at me. Sometimes we 
collided into each other so hard that my bones 
rattled, but she kept hitting my ass if I slowed down. 
She wasn't saying anything now, just making strange 
sounds. Then I heard Lexi's voice. It was louder, as 
if she was trying to get Raven's attention.

"He's just about there," she said. "He's going to come 
soon."

She repeated this, and then Raven said, "Slow down!"

I was glad to slow down, because I was exhausted, even 
though I felt that if I kept up the pace, I could 
finally come.

"Slower!" said Raven. She wasn't hitting me now, just 
telling me over and over to slow down. Finally, I 
stopped.

"Push my legs back more," she said. It took all my 
effort, but I pushed and raised her butt higher in the 
air.

"Put it in my ass slowly," she said.

"What?" I said. I didn't think I heard right. Did she 
really want it in her ass? Lexi had never let me do 
her there.

"You heard me!" she hissed and hit my butt cheeks hard 
with both hands. I quickly pulled out of her vagina 
and started pushing at her anus.

"Easy! Slow!" she said, and I could tell she wasn't 
enjoying this. How did Lexi get her to do it?

I slowly pushed into her anus. Once I passed the 
pucker, I slid in smoothly. I could tell she had 
plenty of lube in there. When I got all the way in, I 
stopped. She was panting and whimpering. I waited for 
more instructions. Finally, they came.

"OK, get to work," she said. "But slowly."

I began moving slowly almost all the way out and then 
all the way in. She was squirming and whimpering. I 
felt her hands grab my butt cheeks and pull them 
apart. Just being touched there made me scream in 
pain. She let them go as I continued moving, and then 
she pulled them apart again and made me scream once 
more.

The sounds of her whimpering and panting in pain and 
my screams mixed together in a crazy rhythm. Despite 
the lube, she was very tight, and her anal muscles 
were spasming around my penis. I think she was out of 
control, but it felt amazing, and I started getting 
excited again, even though I cried out in pain each 
time her hands pulled apart my butt cheeks.

"Here come your five," she said. "Are you ready?"

"What?" I said, but Raven didn't answer.

"I'm ready," said Lexi.

"Now get to work really hard and don't stop no matter 
what I do," said Raven. I saw her mouth twisted in 
pain.

"Are you sure?" I said.

She let go of my butt cheeks and spanked me hard. 
"Damn it! Do what I say!" she hissed. I pulled out of 
her fast and slammed into her anus.

"One!" she screamed. "Don't stop!"

She kept calling the numbers each time I pounded into 
her, and she kept pulling at my butt cheeks. I was 
getting close to coming. Just before she yelled five, 
I felt something. It was one of her fingers, and she 
was pushing it deep inside me as I rammed into her 
anus. Lexi must have told her how that affected me. I 
came hard and kept on spurting deep inside her. Then I 
collapsed onto her. I waited for her to start hitting 
again, but she just lay there panting. She was also 
crying, and I felt her moist face as I put my head on 
the pillow next to her head.

I stayed hard for a long time, but finally I felt 
myself wilting. Raven felt it, too.

"Pull it out slowly," she said, and as I did, I felt 
her arms and legs going around me and squeezing me 
tight. Then she rolled me over until she was on top of 
me. She sat on my belly and looked down at me. I could 
tell she was upset. I felt like telling her it wasn't 
my fault that I ripped her ass apart. She had asked me 
to do it. But I was too weak to say anything. I was 
just trying to catch my breath.

She lifted off of me and turned around until she was 
sitting on my chest and facing my feet. I heard Lexi 
talking to her and felt Raven moving on top of me. 
Then Lexi was lifting my head up and putting a cushion 
under it. When I looked up, I saw Raven's butt above 
me, and she was spreading her legs and lowering 
herself down.

"No!" I screamed, but it wasn't a scream. It was 
barely a whisper. For the first time, I thought I 
heard Jerry's voice, but I didn't hear what he was 
saying. Lexi said something to him, and he didn't say 
anything else.

"Lick my ass!" It was Raven, and her voice sounded 
like she was in a lot of pain.

Her anus was almost touching my mouth, and I saw some 
of my come on it. I gagged and tried to move my head 
away, but her butt was pressing against me, and I 
could barely move.

"Lick my ass, or I'm going to really hurt your butt," 
she said, and to show me what she meant, she pulled 
one of my legs back and let me have it with the palm 
of her hand. It seemed harder than before, and the 
pain ricocheted inside me until every fiber of my body 
was in agony.

"Lick my ass!" she said again. I began licking and 
choking and gagging. As I licked up and down across 
her anus, she began pushing it out and opening it.

"Stick your tongue in," she said. "Deeper! Deeper! Now 
suck everything out!"

I almost threw up several times, but I kept going. I 
tried to spit out the semen, but I swallowed a lot of 
it. When there wasn't much left, she told me to open 
my mouth wide and put it around her anus. Then she 
pushed again and again until she began farting more 
come into my mouth. It seemed like she would never 
stop. When she finally did, she got up, and I just lay 
there. I turned my head to one side and didn't see 
anything, but when I turned it to the other side, I 
saw Lexi sitting in a chair staring at me. Her face 
was bright red, and she was breathing heavily. I 
watched her as she slowly caught her breath and calmed 
down, and then she spoke. She was bubbling with 
delight.

"That was awesome, Morgan," she said. "I came at the 
same time you came, and I came three times more while 
you were eating your come from Raven's asshole. I know 
we've never done that, but I thought that it would be 
something special to remember.

"You've probably guessed by now that we're never going 
to have sex again. I didn't think you were right when 
you said we might have used each other up, but once I 
realized you really felt that way, I really wanted 
this badly. It's a farewell present for me. I want to 
give you one, too, but so far I haven't come up with 
anything because I've given you everything you've ever 
wanted -- well, except for anal, I guess. But now that 
I've seen how your big thing destroyed Raven's ass, I 
know that I was smart to never let you try. Even 
though you weren't in there long, she's still hurting 
badly.

"I would be happy to stop right now, but we can't. 
Remember when you asked me how I got Raven to agree. 
It was hard, especially because you disgust her even 
more than she disgusts you. And she was as scared of 
anal as I was. But I promised her that after she had 
sex with you for me, I'd let her do a couple of things 
just for her, and Jerry would make a video for her to 
keep. Jerry doesn't know anything about this, because 
he would have warned you. But I think he'll cooperate, 
because he knows that I haven't slept with you or 
anyone else for a couple of weeks, and after today, 
I'm all his if he still wants me. I've been watching 
him out of the corner of my eye, and he's as hard as a 
rock. I told him that I would do all your favorites 
with him, and then we'd think of some new favorites. 
I'm so excited because we already have something 
special between us without the sex, and now we're 
going to go to a level that you and I could never go 
to.

"So this next part isn't really for me, Morgan. I'm 
not even sure I want to see it. But it's for Raven, so 
we'll do it, and then we'll be done, and we'll have 
used each other all up, so we can go on with our 
lives. OK, Raven."

Raven came back to the bed and put her face up to 
mine. I noticed her eyes were still moist, and her 
mouth was still twisted as she tried to handle her 
pain, even while she was sneering at me. "I don't 
think you'll fight me," she said in a whisper, "but if 
you want to, I can handle it. No matter what you do, 
I'm going to humiliate and hurt you, but if you 
cooperate, it will be over faster. You don't have to 
do anything. I'll do all the work this time."

I saw her put her hands into a jar of thick white 
cream. Then her left hand grabbed my testicles and 
began manipulating them. The cream was greasy lube, 
and her hand felt good, even though I was too 
exhausted to get aroused. Then I felt a finger between 
my butt cheeks again, and it was going in deep. She 
pulled it out, and I saw her stick her right hand into 
the lube again and scoop up a bunch more. Back it went 
between my cheeks, and this time I felt two fingers 
pushing the lube deep into me. It didn't feel as good 
as one finger did.

A few seconds later, three fingers were pushing 
another big gob into me, and they definitely didn't 
feel good. After she pushed the lube in, Raven started 
moving the three fingers in and out, and she spread 
them apart a little as she picked up the speed. My 
body seemed to move on its own and begin squirming. It 
was trying to get away from the fingers and shake them 
lose, but the fingers kept following my body as it 
moved around the bed. I felt like I was in Lexi's 
fantasy, because I was watching what Raven was doing 
to me, but I was also feeling humiliated and in pain 
at the same time. Then the fingers were out of me, and 
I stopped moving.

"Omigod," I heard Lexi say. I looked at her. Her eyes 
were wide, and her face was as red as her dress. She 
was kneeling on the carpet next to the bed and staring 
at Raven. I followed her eyes and saw a huge ball of 
white move out of the jar and toward my butt. Then I 
felt fingers at my anus. They were pushed together, 
and they started going into me with the wad of lube. I 
was feeling like I was going to split open. Raven had 
four fingers pushing in as far as they would go before 
they stopped. And then they slowly pulled all the way 
out, and a second later, they were pushing back in.

"Oh, Jerry, I can't believe what I'm seeing," said 
Lexi's voice. "Put the camera on the tripod. He's not 
moving anymore. No, you don't have to look. But come 
over here. I'm burning up. She's got all five fingers 
tight together now, and they're going in. I don't 
think he even knows it. His head is moving like his 
neck is made of rubber. His eyes are popping out of 
his head.

"Get behind me, Jerry, please. I need you right now. 
No, forget about what I said before. This is 
different. I promised you I wouldn't let him touch me 
anymore. It's been almost two weeks. It's over. We 
don't have to wait. Pull my dress up, and pull my 
panties down. Come on, Jerry. Don't look at him. 
Quick. Pull your pants down. Now slowly put it into 
me. I'm so wet. Do you feel it? That's perfect. It's 
sliding in and I'm feeling every inch of it for the 
first time. I don't even have to see it. It's 
beautiful.

"She's pushing, and you're pushing. I'm feeling 
something amazing, and so is he, but not the same kind 
of amazing. He's lost all control of his body. He's 
thrashing around like a fish. He can't stop flipping 
in all directions. She's slowly pulling out of him, 
and now she's going right back in. He's got almost no 
voice, but I hear him screaming. Why am I so excited? 
Go a little faster, Jerry. Did you feel that? I just 
came. But I know I'm going to come again. Not too 
fast, Jerry. I don't want you to come yet.

"Here. I just had the strangest idea. It's sick, but I 
want you to push this lube into my ass. Just one 
finger and then two. Here's some more. Keep pushing it 
in. There, I think that's enough. Now just push one of 
your fingers in and out of my ass while you go in and 
out of my vagina. Don't speed up yet. I think we're in 
the same rhythm as Raven is with her hand. She told me 
she could get her whole arm up inside of Morgan, but I 
wouldn't let her. Maybe I will. The thought of seeing 
that just made me come again. OK, Jerry, I'm sorry. 
No, I won't let her. She said it wouldn't hurt him too 
much, but I know he's your best friend. She's pulling 
her hand out of him now. Keep going, just a little 
faster. Yes, like that.

"Omigod. She made her hand into a fist inside him, and 
she's trying to pull the fist out of his asshole. It's 
too small. She'll never do it. What did you say, 
Raven? You promise you won't tear him. Did you hear, 
Jerry? She says if she goes slowly enough, it won't 
cause any real damage. But I can tell it's incredibly 
painful. He's crying and shaking and looks like he's 
going out of his mind.

"Oh wow! It just came out. It popped out, like those 
lottery balls pop out. And when it came out, there was 
this huge hole. His asshole is huge. It looks like 
it's never going to close again. Oh thank god. I see 
it's getting smaller. Very slowly. It looks like it 
will recover. There it is, just a little rosebud 
again. If I hadn't seen it, I would never have 
believed it could get that large.

"Now she's starting to whack him off. You can go 
faster, Jerry. Yes, I've already come a bunch, but I 
know there's more, and I want you to come inside me 
when I'm ready. She's playing with his balls, but he's 
still limp. Now she's leaning over. She sucked him 
into her mouth. She's giving him a blowjob. I can't 
believe it. He's crying and in tremendous pain, and 
he's trying to get away from her, but she's getting 
him hard again. Faster, Jerry. And tell me when you're 
ready to come.

"He's really aroused now. Even though his eyes are 
crazy and his face is twisted, his body is pushing 
into her mouth. Oh! She pulled her mouth off of him, 
and he screamed. But now she's using her hand, and 
he's pushing into it. And she's pulling at his balls. 
She's really attacking them, much more than I ever 
did. She's pulling them hard and letting them snap 
back, and she's twisting them around and slapping them 
hard from side to side. But he's still trying to hump 
her hand.

"Oh, this is what she was telling me about. He's 
almost there, but she's going to ruin his orgasm. He's 
desperate to come, and it's just a matter of seconds 
now, but she let go of his penis, and I can hear him 
begging her to put it back. But she's got both hands 
around his balls now, and there, she's squeezing them 
as hard and fast as she can. And the come is shooting 
out of him. He's screaming, and his eyes are bugged 
out of his head. There's another hard squeeze and more 
come flying everywhere. And another squeeze. He's 
screaming in pain from her hands busting his balls, 
but he's coming anyway. She squeezed really hard, and 
there was still some come shooting out. I can't 
believe what I'm seeing.

"I hear you, Jerry. You're ready to come, too. OK, 
quick. Pull it out and stick it in my ass. Yes, I know 
it will hurt, but I've got lube there, and you should 
be coming soon. Ow, ow, ow! That really hurts. No, 
keep pushing hard. There, I felt that. You didn't even 
get all the way in before you started spurting. Keep 
pushing as you are coming until you're all the way in 
and then stop.

"I wanted to feel what anal was like one time, and I 
sure did. It was only a few seconds, but it seemed 
like forever. It's not for me. Never again. There, 
just stay like that. You're still hard. Can you feel 
me squeezing you?

"Raven, please get off the bed now and take the camera 
and get behind Morgan's head and try to aim it at me. 
I can feel Jerry getting soft now. Pull out really 
slowly, Jerry. I'm going to put my head down and lift 
up my ass, because I don't want you to spill one drop 
of all that come you put in my ass. That's it. Now 
move away. No, don't say anything.

"Are you ready, Raven. OK, keep the camera on me. I'm 
coming over and getting into the same position you 
were before. Push that cushion under Morgan's head 
again and tell me which way to move until my asshole 
is right at his mouth. I wish I could watch me do 
this, but I'll have to watch your video later. Is he 
still conscious? Yes he is. I felt him try to move his 
head away. I'm locking it between my thighs. There we 
are. Now I'm going to lower my butt onto him, but I'm 
not going to threaten him like you did, Raven.

"Do you hear me, Morgan? This won't hurt you. I'll 
wait until you're ready. I'll just sit here on top of 
your mouth until you begin licking. I know your nose 
is in the hair in my crack. I can feel it tickling. 
You can still breathe through your nose, so you'll be 
OK. I just have to give you my ass full of come before 
we're done. You've earned it, Morgan. It's my final 
goodbye to you.

"So take your time. When we're finished, you can go 
home. It could take a few minutes, or we can stay as 
long as you want. It can be a long goodbye or a short 
goodbye, depending on when you start licking. Oh! 
That's wonderful. Thank you, Morgan. It feels even 
more incredible than I imagined. Oh my! Oh my! Keep 
licking like just like that. You don't have to stick 
your tongue inside. I'll let you know when you should 
open your mouth wide. It won't be long. I feel a big 
fart coming soon, and I'm holding back to make it more 
powerful. I want to shoot everything Jerry deposited 
in there right into your mouth."

***

Raven drove me home in silence and helped me inside. 
She undressed me slowly and covered me in bed before 
she spoke.

"I know you're hurting more than me," she said. "I was 
really surprised. I told Lexi you would never show. I 
know it doesn't matter to you, but after I wrecked 
your balls, I started feeling bad about what I did to 
you. I'm sorry, and I don't even know why.

"Your balls aren't really destroyed. I've done that 
before, except with guys who got off on it. Their 
balls recovered, and so did their assholes. You'll be 
fine in a couple of weeks. I guess I better go now. I 
really am feeling strange, because I feel like I want 
you to forgive me, but I know you never will, and I'll 
never even see you again. Goodbye, Morgan."

I heard her, but I didn't look at her. My head was on 
the pillow, and I just stared at the ceiling as she 
closed the door. I kept on staring until I fell 
asleep.

The pain was agonizing every time I made a move on 
Saturday and Sunday, but I decided to go to work 
anyway on Monday. Halfway through the day, I realized 
that was a mistake. But Tuesday was better. I didn't 
talk to anyone I didn't have to. Everyone could see 
they better not ask me any questions about my pain.

The night after the video session, my phone rang. I 
didn't answer. When I checked my voice mail later, I 
heard Jerry's voice, and I deleted the message without 
listening to it. Jerry kept calling on Sunday and the 
rest of the week, even at the office. As soon as I 
heard his voice, I hung up.

I didn't think at all about what had happened on 
Friday night. I found a way to wipe that from my mind. 
The one thing that kept coming back to me was 
something that Jerry had said about Lexi. She had told 
him that something had clicked for her, and she 
started growing, while I stayed the same. I kept 
thinking about that, even after the pain went away.

I met a hot new woman, and she was wild in bed. Not as 
wild as Lexi, but I started thinking she might be 
interested in the same kind of arrangement. But after 
three exhausting dates with her, I didn't call her 
again. For a while, I didn't date, and when I started 
again, I realized that something had happened. I was 
different. I wasn't looking for a Lexi replacement 
anymore. I started getting more involved with the 
women I saw - and other people, too. Maybe it had 
finally clicked for me, I thought, and for a moment, I 
wished that it had clicked earlier, when I was still 
with Lexi. After that, I actually forgot about her for 
a long time -- until one night when I was in a 
restaurant and saw a woman looking at me.

It was after work, and I was with a few friends. I saw 
her out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned my 
head, she was facing the bar. I thought maybe I was 
mistaken, but I kept looking at her anyway because she 
was stunning, at least from the back. She was with two 
other women at the bar, and I could see their faces. 
They were good looking and had hot bodies. She was 
different. She looked like she didn't belong at a bar 
in a chain restaurant.

There was an elegance to her. Her beautiful shiny, 
flowing hair fell flawlessly over her bare shoulders 
and as she moved her head, it seemed to flow like a 
river. I was hypnotized by it. Her dress emphasized 
her curves, but it was elegant, not slutty. Her butt 
was on the stool, so I couldn't be sure, but it looked 
great. Everything about her told me she was out of my 
class.

Then I saw her get up from her stool. I had been right 
about her butt. I saw a flash of cleavage as she 
turned. She had an amazing chest, too.

Curiosity got the better of me. I wondered if she was 
one of those women who looked good from the back but 
had a plain face. I got up and walked over to where 
the women were picking up their purses and paying 
their bill. I would just walk around them and glance 
at her quickly as I went back to my table. I wasn't 
going to be stupid and say anything, because she could 
probably cut my balls off with one look of contempt.

As I approached her, she turned her head, and I gasped 
and staggered. It was Raven, and she was devastatingly 
beautiful. She saw me, too. I started walking faster, 
almost running. I heard her voice behind me. "Wait!" 
she yelled, but I barely heard her, because I walked 
quickly right out the door and down the street. I 
walked around for 15 minutes before walking slowly 
back to the restaurant looking in every direction like 
a hunted animal.

My friends were getting ready to leave, and they asked 
what happened to me. Apparently none of them saw her. 
I told them I just needed some air all of a sudden. 
They looked at me questioningly. Everyone paid his 
bill, and I went home. I felt myself shaking as I 
drove my car, and I had trouble falling asleep.

When I came home the next day, there was a message 
from Raven on my voice mail. "I want to talk to you, 
Morgan," she said. "I've wanted to do that for a long 
time, but I've been scared to call you. When I saw you 
last night, it finally gave me the guts to make this 
call. I know you don't owe me anything, and I could 
tell from last night that you don't want to see me. 
but I promise it won't be more than a few minutes. 
Please call me." She left a number.

For the next week, my mind was full of Lexi, Jerry and 
Raven. Everything I had suppressed came down on me 
like a huge wave. A couple of weeks after that 
horrible Friday night, I had found a DVD in my mail 
box. It was unmarked, but I knew what was on it. I 
threw it in a drawer and never watched it, but now 
every minute of that night ran through my mind again 
as if I were watching the DVD. I couldn't remember the 
pain much, but the degradation and mortification was 
as fresh and devastating as if it had happened 
yesterday. Sometimes I found himself breaking down and 
crying.

Slowly, I pulled out of my depression. Certain 
thoughts still came to mind at odd times, but they 
didn't bother me as much as after I heard Raven's 
message. One day as I was listening to my voice mail, 
and her voice came on again. It was the same message. 
I had never erased it. I listened to it all the way 
through and then sat looking at the phone for 10 
minutes before I picked it up.

We met at the Denny's near my office. I got there 15 
minutes early, and as she walked in, I looked at her 
and then looked around to confirm what I felt. Yes, 
every man in the room had his eyes on her, and most of 
them had their chins on the table. She was too 
beautiful to be real, and she had an air about her 
that was both scary and awesome at the same time. She 
smiled at me when she sat down. There was no hint of 
her trademark scowl. Maybe she's an actress, I 
thought, and she's learned how to fake anything, 
because she's coming across all warm and fuzzy, and I 
know that's not the real Raven.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," I said.

"I can tell you're nervous," she said. "I'm trying to 
cover it up, but I'm sure I'm more nervous than you 
are. Thank you for agreeing to see me. You look great, 
by the way. But then you always looked great. I was so 
jealous of Lexi. That's why I was nasty to you. I 
couldn't admit to myself that I really liked you, 
because you weren't one of us."

"What do you mean?" I said. "Oh, you mean --"

"Yes, goths," she said. "It all seems so silly now, 
but I guess it was something I had to go through. I'm 
not going to bore you with my life story, but it 
wasn't a happy one when I met you. I needed the goth 
thing to help me out of my nightmares. You know, after 
that night, I didn't need it anymore.

"Anyway, I was saying that I was really jealous of 
Lexi, and even though I only saw you a couple of 
times, I think I had a crush on you. Maybe because I 
couldn't love you, I decided to hate you. That doesn't 
excuse what I did, but maybe it helps explain it a 
little.

"I've done a lot of things in my life that I've 
regretted, but the worst of all was what I did to you. 
To this day, I still think about it every day. I have 
the video on my desk next to my computer. I've never 
watched it. I just look at it, and I feel ashamed. 
It's like a reminder to me of how low I can sink if I 
don't watch out.

"So one reason I wanted to see you was to ask you to 
forgive me. I know I have no right to ask, because 
I've never made it up to you. I thought a lot about 
what I could do for you, but there really is nothing 
that can compensate for something like that. If you 
can think of something, I'll find a way to do it, not 
matter what it costs.

"Now I'm going to really freak you out, Morgan, 
because the other reason I wanted to see you was to 
thank you. Like I said, after that night, I didn't 
need the goth lifestyle anymore. But that's not why 
I'm thankful. That night sent some kind of lightning 
bolt into my soul, and it changed me. I didn't realize 
it right away, because it was a slow process. But I'm 
a totally different person now than I was then. Well, 
maybe not totally different, because there are a few 
things that stayed with me.

"Do you know that I have so many friends now that I 
feel like I'm living in a field of beautiful flowers? 
They all think I'm kind and generous and thoughtful 
and loyal and that I would never hurt a fly. Are you 
laughing? Yes, I've really fooled them, but I can't 
fool you. You know the real me that's down inside, the 
disgusting, hateful woman who wouldn't think twice 
about ruining your life. That's why I keep that disk 
on my desk. It tells me to never let my guard down, 
because I don't ever want my friends to know who I 
really am."

"You didn't ruin my life," I said. I wanted to look at 
her face, but I was looking at my hands. "I'm happier 
now than I've ever been. I've got a lot of friends, 
too, real friends. I've changed a lot since you knew 
me. I wouldn't judge you today like I judged you then. 
I think I've grown, and I think you probably have, 
too. You look beautiful, and it sounds like you're a 
beautiful person, too. Throw that disk away and don't 
look at it again."

She didn't answer. I kept looking at my hands waiting 
for her to say something. Finally, I looked up at her. 
Her mascara was running down her cheeks, and her tears 
were falling on the table like a waterfall. She looked 
like a mess, and she still looked beautiful. She wiped 
her eyes with her fists and that made even more of a 
mess. She jumped up from the table and ran to the 
ladies room.

When she came back, her eyes were still moist, but she 
was smiling that warm smile again. She sat down and 
looked at me for a while. "I'll never forget what you 
said tonight, Morgan," she said. "It's much more than 
I ever expected. I still can't forget what I did to 
you, but you've made me so happy tonight that I know 
I'll be able to bear it a lot better. I can't thank 
you enough. I won't bother you again. I promise. Now 
I've taken enough of your time. Just stay right there. 
I'm going to pay for our coffees and leave."

I didn't say anything as she got up and took her 
purse. She took a step away and then she came back. 
"This is so stupid, Morgan, but I have to ask you," 
she said. "I promise you I'll never send you anything, 
but would you mind if I friended you?"

"No problem," I said. I wanted to say something else, 
but I didn't know what it was, so I just sat there 
looking at my hands.

"Thanks," she said and left. As soon as I didn't hear 
her heels clicking, I lifted my head and looked at 
her. I watched her as she paid the waitress and walked 
out the door. She turned her head back for a second 
and saw me and smiled. I tried to smile back, but I 
don't know if she saw.

Things moved fast after that. Two days later I got a 
call from Jerry, and I agreed to meet him. It was at 
the same table at Denny's. We hadn't seen each other 
since that night. He didn't look a lot different.

"The reason I tried to call you before was not to say 
I was sorry," I said. "It took me more than a month to 
understand how sorry I really was. It was after I 
broke up with Lexi. I just wanted to explain to you 
about Lexi and me. She convinced me you didn't care 
about losing her, and she told me she wasn't having 
sex with you anymore, and I would be the only one 
she'd ever have sex with again, and it would be a 
hundred times better than with you. She had me snowed, 
and I was ready to do anything for her, even though I 
knew I wasn't doing the right thing for you.

"So I was there filming you and Raven and getting all 
hot and hard thinking about Lexi and me doing some of 
the same stuff. We were leaving town for a resort the 
next day, and she told me we wouldn't be spending much 
time outside the bedroom. When Raven started spanking 
you, I said something to Lexi, but she said that you 
and she had done that before.

"When Raven forced you to eat your come out of her 
ass, I was almost as nauseated as you were. I told 
Lexi I'd had enough, but she kept telling me this was 
good for you and for us, because you would never want 
to see her again, and the break with you would be 
total. I didn't realize at the time that you would 
never want to see me again either.

"I can't explain what came over me when Raven started 
humiliating you. It was like Lexi had hypnotized me, 
or at least hypnotized my penis. I just did what she 
said. I looked at myself doing her and tried not to 
listen to the other horrible sounds in the room. I 
never really saw what Raven was doing to you, but I 
knew it was ghastly. When I saw Lexi climb onto you 
and force your face into her ass, I lost it and ran to 
the bathroom and threw up.

"That's what I wanted to tell you when you wouldn't 
take my calls. Now I don't even know why I wanted to 
tell you that. I have no excuses. The whole thing was 
disgusting, even at the beginning, when you were 
enjoying it."

"I was enjoying it?" I said. "I don't remember that."

"I do," Jerry said. "For the first hour, you and Raven 
were totally into each other, and both of you were 
glowing. If I hadn't known better, I would have sworn 
that the two of you had been lovers for a long time. 
She had a lot of orgasms, and she wanted you to come, 
too, but she had promised Lexi she'd prevent you from 
coming until you did it in her ass."

"You don't know that," I said.

"Raven told me," he said.

"So you still see Raven?" I said.

"Not anymore," he said. "I saw her a few times after I 
broke up with Lexi. We never slept together. All we 
ever did was talk about what we did to you. She was a 
lot more shaken up about it than I was. She called me 
yesterday and told me about her meeting with you. 
That's why I decided to call you again."

"What happened to you and Lexi?" I said.

"That was your fault," he said. "I was really in love 
with her until that Friday night. The next day we went 
to the resort, and we screwed like rabbits. We did 
that for the next month, and it was amazing. Sometimes 
she would tell me how much you liked something or how 
I did something in a slightly different way than you 
did. You always seemed be there with us, no matter 
what we were doing.

"We stopped talking like we used to. She stopped being 
funny. It was like our normal lives were on hold. All 
the things I loved about her were gone. Don't get me 
wrong. The sex was amazing. But the rest was missing, 
and I think we both realized it at the same time.

"She's the one who had the guts to finally bring it 
up. I'm ashamed to say that I might have gone on with 
her like you did. But thank goodness, she made me 
realize what was happening.

"She said that she couldn't stop remembering what she 
had done to you. She was watching the video and 
getting excited and then feeling horrible about being 
so turned on. And while we were having sex, she was 
thinking about you all the time, even when she was 
coming. Do you know she loved you?"

"What?" I said.

"She said she tried to tell you a few times, but you 
weren't ready to listen. She had a feeling that you 
weren't capable of loving anyone, but she was hoping 
that someday you'd grow up, and you'd be ready to 
listen, and then she'd find out if you loved her, too. 
But when you started talking about being washed up -- 
I think she said used up -- she realized that she 
wasn't going to be around when you woke up, so she 
gave up on you. But you can't turn off feelings like a 
faucet.

"You know that sexy outfit she wore that night? She 
told me later that it was for you, not me. She thought 
you weren't going to go for Raven, and she was ready 
to do the video with you. She told me that deep inside 
she hoped you would reject Raven and pick her. That's 
why she wore it.

"What we did to you really messed us up. We both 
admitted we were scared to have a normal relationship 
because that would mean dealing honestly with what we 
had done. So we decided to split as friends."

"Have you ever seen her again," I asked.

"No," he said, "but I think about her all the time. 
And then I think about you. There are so many great 
things that Lexi and I have in common, but there's one 
bad thing we have in common that overshadows all of 
them."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"No," he said. "I'm sorry, really sorry, and all I can 
tell you is that I'm paying for what I did every time 
I think of her and what a wonderful thing I ruined. I 
hope that gives you some satisfaction."

"No, it doesn't, Jerry," I said. "I'm really a 
different person now. I had suppressed what happened 
until I saw Raven. Then it all came back, but that was 
good, because I was ready to deal with it. It belongs 
to a different part of my life now. You and I have had 
had hundreds of good times together and one really bad 
time. I know you're a great guy, and I forgive you for 
everything, just like I forgive Raven. Hell, I even 
forgive Lexi."

"You do?" I said. "Are you just saying that, or do you 
really mean it?"

"I mean it," I said. "I'm not proud of the person I 
was, but none of us are the same anymore. Raven is 
amazing. I'm sure Lexi is too, and I forgive her and 
wish a wonderful life for her."

I heard a noise, and I looked up and saw Jerry 
shaking. He had his handkerchief in front of his face. 
Before we left, we arranged to get together the 
following week.

When I got home, I looked at Facebook. I stayed on one 
page for a long time, and then I decided to write a 
few words.

***

It turned out that one of the things Raven carried 
over from her old life was her crush on me. We're 
married and have two kids, but whenever we meet 
someone new, they still think I'm married to a model. 
I love to kid her about this, because it gets her red 
in the face and lights up her smile every time I do 
it. I love her smile, and I love her soul. I love 
everything about her, including, of course, her body.

Jerry called Lexi the next day and told her what I had 
said. She didn't believe him, so she came with Jerry 
when I met him the next week. When I repeated it for 
her, she fell apart, and everyone in Denny's watched 
her melt into a wet puddle on the table. After she 
pulled herself together, she couldn't stop hugging me, 
and then she couldn't stop hugging Jerry.

They have two kids also, and the four of us get 
together often, with the kids and without. Sometimes 
our other friends notice that there's something 
different in the room when we're all together.

"It's like you're all so natural and so tight 
together," one of them said. "You can say anything, 
and the others always know what you mean, even if no 
one else understands. It's like you've all been to 
hell and back together, and there's nothing that can 
ever get between any of you now."

"You're very observant," I told him. 

END

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's okay to *READ* stories about unprotected sex with
others outside a monogamous relationship. But it isn't
okay to *HAVE* unprotected sex with people other than
a trusted partner. 4-million people around the world 
contract HIV every year. You only have one body per 
lifetime, so take good care of it!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kristen's collection - Directory 78