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Brenda Breaks Free
by Pat Tomason (pat_tomason@hotmail.com)

***

Based on the true story of a 1970's Baptist mom who 
finds a new world when she goes back to college to 
finish her degree. (MF, 1st, oral)

***

Author's note: This is my second in a series of stories 
based on the experiences of myself, my family and 
friends. Comments and feedback are always appreciated.

***

She was cold, uncomfortable and a little embarrassed; 
but she was mostly proud of the fact she'd actually 
gone through with it this time. Twice before in the 
past month she'd had the opportunity and desire, but 
she just couldn't, but this time, this time she would 
not go home feeling like a coward and a prude.

***

Brenda was the thirty-two year old mother of three. 
Until last year, maybe even six months ago, that had 
been her whole view of herself. Sure she was house-
wife, church member, even garden club president, but 
still the overarching feeling was that her life 
revolved around being a mother of three. To be honest, 
she loved being mom and her life had been busy and she 
had felt fulfilled. 

She had even resisted when her husband suggested that 
with their youngest in school she should go back to 
college and finish her degree. She'd dropped out when 
she was pregnant with their first, she had been twenty 
two and she had finished three years of an elementary 
education degree at Baylor. 

She had first just skipped one year after marriage, 
intending to go back and finish before they started a 
family, but, things happen. Only rarely did it bother 
her that she did not finish, but she loved every minute 
being a mother. When Connie, their youngest, started 
first grade last year she'd begun to think about 
finishing and it had taken her the rest of that year to 
get through the process of resuming her education.

It had been 1963 when she had left Baylor, a (then) 
conservative Baptist college. It was the fall of 1973 
and the world was very much a different place, 
especially on the campus of University of Texas at 
Arlington (UT-A) where she was now enrolled. She had 
decided to pursue anthropology rather than to continue 
to train to be a school teacher. Her classes in the 
fall had proven not to be a great academic challenge, 
she had always been a good student, but the core values 
were challenged, no assaulted, nearly every day in 
class by her professors. 

She had taken a philosophy course, a sociology course, 
a literature class and a course in world religions that 
first semester (in addition to introduction to 
statistics and Ancient Eastern History). Literally 
every day something about her religious views, her 
moral views or her political views were challenged. For 
the first few months she resisted, and finally, in late 
October she went to her Philosophy teacher, a Dr. 
Valerie Driscole, and poured out her concerns. She'd 
told her she wanted to continue school, but did not 
like her values being attacked every day. Dr. Drisole's 
response was kind, direct and changed her life.

"Brenda," she said quietly. "I can't tell you what to 
believe, but what I can tell you is that if your 
beliefs are worth having they will stand up to an 
honest intellectual examination. You are a bright 
woman, a very bright woman from what I've seen, so 
rather than shutting off the challenges to your 
beliefs, take this as an opportunity to affirm what you 
believe by subjecting them to the challenges your 
teachers are giving you. If you are right in your 
views, they will easily stand up to scrutiny, but you 
to be intellectually honest you must be willing to 
accept if you find your views do not stand up to the 
test."

Brenda had taken that challenge home and then back to 
class the next day. Sitting in Sociology she, for the 
first time, really considered what Dr. Hughes, had to 
say, though it was very much different from what she'd 
been thought.

By the end of the first semester at UT-A, she knew deep 
in her heart that her Southern Baptist view of the 
world was not passing the instinctual challenge very 
well. She didn't say anything to her family, but to a 
few friends she'd met in class she begun to open up. 
She surprised herself that over the four weeks between 
semesters, she found her self more comfortable going 
out with her new, younger, college friends, than her 
friends from church or the Garden Club. When her 
children were also out of school it was easy to go back 
to her old lifestyle, but on the Monday after New 
Years, when the kids were back in school, she called up 
Millie and they had lunch.

Millie had been in two of her classes in the fall 
semester, and like Brenda, she was a little older than 
most of the other students and they had hit it off 
right from the start. Millie was unlike anyone Brenda 
had ever known in any sort of personal way. Prior to 
her starting school, just Millie's appearance would 
have been enough to keep Brenda at a distance. Until 
the heat had broken in October, she wore the same 
ratty, very short, cut-offs and the same two or three 
little halter tops nearly every day. 

In the fall she went to a couple of equally worn hip 
hugger, big bell jeans and tee-shirts and when it was 
cold as navy pea-coat. And from what Brenda could see, 
she didn't even own a bra; just letting her, not-
insubstantial, boobs just hang out there. On top of 
that, she was Jewish. That would have been enough on 
it's own to make her exotic. 

Brenda, for all her conservative views, was very 
sociable. Her winsome personality coupled with her 
natural physical attractiveness, had always made sure 
she was never a wallflower in any group. By the third 
week of class she was a regular member of the lunch 
group which was mostly girls ten years Brenda's junior. 

Millie, however, was in her late twenties, so just a 
few years younger than the others and that, along with 
the fact they shared both a Monday-Wednesday-Friday 
class and a Tuesday-Thursday class and they were both 
returning to college after a long hiatus in their 
schooling was what initially brought this unlikely 
friend into her life. 

Millie was very talkative and all too glad to talk 
about herself. Like Brenda, she'd been a middle-class 
suburbanite and went off to college naive and, as she 
liked to say "with a head completely devoid of 
reality." She'd left her home in upstate New York in 
the fall of 1967 to study psychology at University of 
Buffalo. By the spring of her sophomore year she was a 
sophomore the naive eighteen year old had become a 
radical twenty year old. The campus riots in March and 
the violent police retaliation had pushed her firmly 
into a full fledged radical and though she completed 
her second year at Buffalo, when summer came she left 
New York for ever.

While Brenda was busy raising her children in the early 
70's, Millie was leading a very different kind of life. 
It was after a test in October that she gave this 
narrative. "I left New York and with my parents 
believing I was going on a study trip, I went to 
Europe. I was sure the US was soon to fall into anarchy 
and so I wanted to get away, and so I went to London, 
then on to the south of France. London was amazing. 
Unlike hippies here, in London they dressed up in 
amazing clothes, ruffles and colors and style was so 
in. It was all so fun, and for me, best of all they 
were apolitical. 

"It was all about just letting go and having a good 
time. None of the heavy talk about the war or civil 
rights, just smoking hash in hookahs and making it with 
a new person, or two, every night. For like a month I 
just carried my back pack to one flat after another 
going from one party to the next. I don't think I slept 
in the same bed, or with the same guy more than two or 
three times from the first of June till I went to 
France at the end of July."

One of the younger girls at the restaurant table asked, 
"Why'd you go? That sounded really groovy."

Millie continued by saying, "It was, but a girl named 
Bernice, she was from Belgium, she and I had gotten to 
be real close and when she invited me to go with her 
and her boyfriend to commune in the south of France, it 
sounded fun."

The same girl interrupted again, "You and her and her 
boyfriend? Sounds like you were real close."

Millie just gave a wry smile and said, "Yea, she wasn't 
the jealous type and he was very nice looking."

Brenda's eyes must have visibly widened. She was doing 
all she could to not look shocked that Millie was so 
open about having sex with, evidently, a good many men, 
and now she was clearly saying she had been intimate 
with her friend's boyfriend.

A girl who appeared to be the youngest at the table 
commented, "But doing it behind her back?"

Millie defensively said, "Oh, I wouldn't do that, we 
never did it unless Bernice was there."

Even Millie's defense was even more shocking. Did she 
do a manage-a-trios?

Evidently unaware of just how shocked Brenda was, 
Millie blithely continued, "So, we go down to St. 
Tropez, it was so pretty. It seemed that Bernice's 
boyfriend had a cousin who had rented an apartment for 
the summer. I guess he didn't ask if there was any room 
for us, so we just slept on the floor. Fortunately I 
met a guy the second day and hearing of my lack of 
accommodations invited me to stay with him, so I did a 
week. It was great, I'd never been on a topless beach 
before and even though I'm no prude, it was strange at 
first to go topless, but after just a few hours it was 
no big deal. 

"By the time Jacque left to go back to Paris, he asked 
me to go with him but Bernice and I had already had an 
offer to stay at an amazing villa just out of town with 
a guy that she'd taken up with after her boyfriend had 
to go back to Belgium. I guess I should say, Bernice 
was very, very pretty and guys just flocked to her."

Brenda thought it funny that Millie would say her 
friend was pretty, as Brenda thought the same of 
Millie. She had an olive complexion and features that 
looked like a movie star's. Not to mention her figure, 
that from what she'd see would stop a man dead in his 
tracks, all told if her friend was as pretty as Millie, 
the two of them on a beach would have been... extremely 
popular. And that would have been true even if they 
weren't evidently topless and quick to jump into bed 
with just about anyone. 

"So," Millie went on, "we go to this Villa, and wow! It 
overlooked the bay and had it's own pool and 
everything. The guy she took up with was the son of 
some kind of industrial tycoon. I thought he was really 
stuck on himself, but the place was really nice. I just 
hung out at the pool for two weeks as often as not just 
wearing just my bikini bottoms. There were lots of 
people coming and going and it was like a rolling 
party. On the second Tuesday we were there I met 
Kenneth. He was so good looking and funny and smart 
and..." she grinned wickedly ".. he had a great penis 
that he really knew how to use."

The other girls laughed. Brenda blanched.

"I fell hard" she said then looked around and 
corrected, "OK, first I came hard, again and again, 
then I fell for him. He was a law student at Columbia 
and when he left to go back I went with him and moved 
into his apartment. My parents freaked out but they 
settled down when we got married that Christmas. Then 
they freaked out again when we got divorced a year 
later."

She went on to tell how she'd moved in with her sister 
after the divorce and that is what brought her to the 
Dallas area. At first she was repelled by both Millie's 
politics and her lifestyle, but she was just so fun and 
interesting, she and Millie soon spent every lunch 
together and even some weekend activities as well. Thus 
after her children went back to school after Christmas 
break she and Millie spent several days together. It 
was not that having time wither her lady friends was 
something she hadn't done over the years, but what was 
new was that in all her time with Millie she was 
developing an identity of her own, separate from being 
a wife or mother, she was just Brenda. Not Mrs. 
Johnson, not Will or Richey or Michelle's mother, just 
Brenda. It was new, exciting and more than a little 
frightening at times.

The first time a guy tried to pick her up she was 
clueless as to what was happening. It was after class a 
few weeks after Christmas. Millie had taken her to a 
bar just off campus. A BAR! She had never in her life 
been in a bar. She didn't even drink. She had only 
tasted beer once and that was in high school. Sitting 
drinking her Tab at a table, two men asked to sit with 
them. They were very nice, but it wasn't until one 
asked her what she was doing latter that night that 
poor naive Brenda realized he was hitting on her; 
trying to pick her up, he thought she was available. 
Despite the wedding ring, he thought she would go with 
him. It shocked, infuriated and flattered her. 

Millie had brushed them off with ease, but it was a 
revelation to Brenda.

"I thought you were going to pass out," Millie had said 
once the men were gone "How long has it been since a 
guy has tried to pick you up?"
Brenda just looked at her dumbfounded "Never."

Millie had clearly been taken aback by her answer, but 
kindly did not pursue the issue that day. Brenda, on 
the other hand, began to think about a lot of things. 
The next week her husband was out of town again from 
Monday until Thursday. His job provided them a very 
comfortable lifestyle, one far more affluent than how 
she had grown up. However, the price was that her 
husband, as he had promoted, traveled ever more. 

A year ago he was promoted to Junior -Vice-President in 
his company, he was now a real jetsetter, traveling the 
world, or rather away from home, for 10- 15 nights most 
months. After her evening shower, she stood in front of 
the full length mirror and looked at herself: naked. 
She tried to imagine what a man, not her husband, but 
just a man, would think of her body. Millie had talked 
about the topless beaches, and she had made reference 
to the fact she had gone to a nude beach in the Bahamas 
last year, but not elaborated. What would men think of 
her 34 year old body if she were next to someone like 
Millie?

She looked at herself. She knew she'd always looked 
young for her age. When she first went to college at 18 
years old she'd still looked like she could have been 
in Junior High. She had hated it then, but now, she 
could see the upside. She slowly turned to look at 
herself from all sides. The three kids hadn't been 
unkind to her. Her waist was not as defined as it had 
once been, but she still fit easily into size 5 dresses 
and slacks, a size 3, she thought, if she wore them as 
tight as Millie did. 

She slapped a thigh as she look at her rear quarter; 
firm and only a hint of cellulite, again, not bad at 
all. Her boobs, though not remotely as big as the girls 
in her husbands Playboy magazines, were, she thought 
nothing to be ashamed of. Sure they'd lost a little of 
their fullness with nursing, but she had no regrets 
about that. A solid 34C, but she knew, at a nude beach 
she would not be confused with an 18 year old, but she 
imagined she could get her share of looks. "Where did 
that thought come from?" she asked herself aloud. 

She ran her hands through her dark brown hair. She'd 
begun letting it grow out even before she started back 
to school, now it was beginning to cascade over her 
shoulders. She was not bad looking, when she was in 
high school, she'd been rather a wallflower, but with 
maturity had come softening of her features to the 
effect of generally improving her appearance. She still 
was a long way from being a knock-out, but she 
certainly was not homely either. 

An angry scream came from the living room. One of the 
kids was doing something to one of the other kids. 
"Back to being a mother". She pulled her night gown 
over her head, followed by her robe and strode from the 
room in full mama mode. 

Two hours later the kids were asleep. Brenda slipped 
off her robe, then very uncharacteristically, she let 
her nightgown fall to the floor as well, and crawled 
across the bed nude. The sheets were cool as she slid 
across the top of the king sized bed. She went to the 
far side, his side, and opened the drawer in his end 
table. From it she took the top few magazines. June 
(1974) and November Playboy, June's Penthouse, June and 
July's. She slid under the cool sheets and opened the 
first magazine. 

This wasn't the first time she had looked in her 
husband's magazines, but it was the first time she had 
looked closely. The girls were young, pretty and all 
had boobs much bigger than hers. She was very 
interested in two photo layouts, one in the July 
Penthouse and one in the June Playboy. Both were shot 
outdoors. Mostly on deserted beaches, again she thought 
of Millie on a nude beach, and imagined her self as 
well. After perusing the photo spreads, she began 
looking at the articles on modern sexuality. She read 
the advice column from Xandra Hollender, and the 
letters about their sexual exploits. It was more than 
enough to keep her mind running after she put the 
magazines back and turned off the light.

Lying on the big bed, under sheets her mind thought of 
what it would be like to be with another man. To be 
with a man in bed like the in the magazine stories, for 
him to take time to warm her to his desires, to have 
him stimulate her with is mouth and then to engage in 
intercourse, not for the five minutes that was all her 
husband had ever done, but to have sex long enough to 
move from position to position, to have sex until she 
felt as spent as he was. 

As she thought her palms pressed into her thighs, her 
fingers gripped the flesh and she pushed the hands down 
her leg. The friction warmed her legs, though the 
movement was slow. The tactile sensation was very 
stimulating. She drew her hands up, still pressing into 
her flesh enjoying the feeling of her skin being 
pulled. Up the sides of her stomach, the two hands in 
tandem inched up. She felt her ribs under the skin, the 
softness of the outer edge of her two breasts. Her 
palms rotated her fingers inward as they moved up her 
body. 

When the heel of her hand was pressing in, just below 
her armpits, her splayed fingers only floated on the 
soft surface of her breasts themselves. The tips of her 
fingers lighted on the raised surface of her areola and 
the middle finger just touched the firm pencil eraser 
sized crown of her nipple. An unexpected shiver shot 
from her own touch and as it raced downward, brought a 
contraction in her stomach and pelvis before settling 
in her suddenly acutely sensitive clitoris. Reflexively 
her buttocks tightened and her thighs in turn pulled 
inward, putting more pressure on the suddenly alive 
feeling in her crotch.

This also was not the first time she had ever touched 
herself. As a girl she and explored those feelings on 
several occasions, and then in the months between the 
time she began dating and the night she lost her 
virginity to the man who became her husband she had 
again explored the pleasant sensations of touching her 
breasts and pubic area.

When she began having sex, and after some time began to 
realize that though it felt good, it nearly always left 
her feeling empty, she had lost interest in seeking 
those feelings. Who wants to be disappointed? She had 
convinced herself, bolstered by the similar experiences 
of her friends from church, that women who said they 
were having deeply fulfilling sexual experiences were 
either lying or sinfully depraved. That was why she had 
not sought out the mysterious orgasm, or climax or 
cumming of which she had heard. 

That self satisfying belief was one of the things she 
was finding herself questioning as of late. Now, having 
become friends with a woman who's life, who's upbeat 
and seemingly fulfilled life included regular, extended 
sexual encounters with different men, and never had she 
even hinted at the phony nature of sexual promise. In 
fact on a number of occasions she'd refrained having 
'great sex' or 'a mind blowing orgasm'. 

Was her friend Millie lying or depraved? She knew full 
well that she was beginning to think she'd been duped. 
She'd been let to believe sex was just for the man and 
procreation, but what if there was some great 
experience she'd never had? It was that thought that 
caused to look at her body in a sexual way. It was that 
thought that caused her to pull out the magazines. The 
insistent tingle in her thighs was not new, but it was 
more intense than she had felt in a very long time.

Slowly, she let her hands move up and over her breasts. 
The sensitive tips now were being stimulated by the 
ridges in her palm. She gripped the soft flesh and the 
grip on the whole breasts, soon became a tight pinching 
of her nipples. More shivers came. Her thighs were 
pulled as tight as she could get them, her buttocks 
lifted from the bed. With out fully thinking about it, 
her right hand let go of the breast and covered her 
vulva. She held it tightly, palm pressing the insistent 
clitoris, and the fingers stretched out through her 
pubic hair and curved with the same of her bottom, the 
tips of her middle there fingers on the fleshy outer 
lips. She gripped harder. Her clitoris became so 
sensitive that it was almost painful and her middle 
finger slipped down in between the lips of her labia. 

She knew it was said women could masturbate, like men 
did, until they climaxed, but she, until that moment 
never understood what that meant. The feelings were 
getting overwhelming, too intense, she couldn't stand 
it any longer and released her breast and vulva. She 
was shivering as if she were cold. She was sure that 
there was a female orgasm out there waiting for her, 
but how to get there without going out of her skin that 
was what she had to know.

* *

The next day, Saturday, she and the kids went to the 
book store. She and the kids loved the bookstore, but 
she was on a new mission. After ensuring no one she 
knew was in the store she knew, Brenda found a female 
clerk and quietly asked her "Do you have The Joy of 
Sex?" She knew of the book from something her sociology 
professor had said one day. She clerk very matter-of-
factly said "Yes, we do and we also have the new More, 
Joy of Sex."

After only a momentary hesitation she told the clerk 
she would take both books. So she went home with a new 
Dr. Seuss book, a book about cowboys, a book about 
space ships and two sex books.  By Monday, even though 
she hid them from her husband, she had read nearly all 
of the first book. 

On Monday, she could not wait to meet Millie after they 
had finished registering for spring semester classes. 
She didn't even wait to get from the Administration 
building to their favorite lunch spot just off campus 
before starting "I know I'm going to sound like a 
spinster from the fifty's when I tell you this." She 
started "But I think I'm at some sort of turning point 
in my life, but I just don't know what to believe."

She could tell she had Millie's attention and sympathy. 
Millie probably had an idea of what kind of issues 
Brenda was speaking as she had hinted at these things 
before. 

Brenda gathered her courage and went on as they walked 
the nearly a mile distance to their eatery. It was a 
sunny crisp morning and the walk was pleasant. "Is the 
stuff I read about women having orgasms over and over 
again real, or is it just the stuff of men's fantasy?"

Millie visibly restrained her smile before speaking, 
"Oh, the good Baptist girl has been thinking has she? 
Or perhaps reading forbidden material?"

"Both," Brenda answered and gave a brief description of 
her experience Friday night and then told of the books 
she had bought on Saturday. "In the book the author is 
a man but writes authoritatively about women's 
feelings."

"Yes," Millie finally said. "I have the book and yes 
it's written by a man and yes he's right. The book is 
great. I have a signed copy."

Though Millie was surely more interested in how she got 
a sighed copy Brenda was on a mission. "So regular 
women, like you, do those things?"

"What things, have sex?"

"I mean oral stimulation and using artificial penises, 
have sex in lots of odd positions and things like 
that."

Millie stepped from the busy sidewalk to the grass and 
stopped, turned to look at Brenda, "You're kidding me 
aren't you? I mean it's now 1974, not 1874, are you 
really asking me if I have oral sex, use a dildo or do 
it in ways other than the missionary position."

Brenda just looked at her, her silence was her answer. 
Millie burst our "Good God! You are serious. You really 
are a total square." She looked at Brenda quizzically 
then grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back onto 
the side walk, "Come on girl, we've got lots to talk 
about. Way more than we can before our next class." She 
paused for a moment "And I've bee just yakking away 
about my men, and all the time you acted calm, but in 
reality you'd never heard anyone talk about sex like 
that. Right?"

Brenda nodded. 

"OK, first off, let me hear what sex is like for you?" 
She asked.

"Just sex," Brenda said, the subject was embarrassing 
on two levels. One she was in a public place, and 
second because she felt like a total novice to a world 
in which the younger woman was a master.

"What does that mean? Just sex?"

"Just sex," Brenda repeated. "We go to bed, he gets on 
top and puts his thing in and does his thing, then we 
go to sleep"

As they walked Millie gave her a side ways glance, "And 
does that do it for you?"

She thought about playing even more stupid than she 
really was, but decided to answer directly, "No."

"I guess not," Millie said in response. "Do you ever 
get off?"

"Have an orgasm?" Brenda said rhetorically "No."

"Even come close?" Millie said as soon as she'd 
answered and before she could self censor Brenda said 
"I almost did Friday night but it just got so intense I 
stopped" with the last word she threw her hand to her 
mouth, she couldn't believe she'd just said that. She 
had no intention of telling how she had masturbated, 
but it just came out.

Millie was un-phased "Well, that's a start. I guess you 
don't do that very often."

Brenda just choked out "Never, not even a little since 
I was a girl."

"But Friday night you just decided to play with your 
self? Why?'

"I guess just hanging out with you. All the sex talk, 
it just seems so natural to you."

"Well it is natural," Millie said. "What's not natural 
is a grown woman who thinks sex is just five minutes of 
a guy getting off then it's over"

"Five minutes when I lucky. Sometimes his done almost 
as soon as he is in me."

Millie voice showed true compassion, like she'd just 
herd that someone mother had died "I'm so sorry for 
you. I just can't imagine what your life is like." They 
entered the restaurant and got their table. Once seated 
and the waitress had left Millie said "It's a good 
start you almost getting off last week. Why again did 
you stop?"

"It just got too intense, to sensitive. It went from 
relaxing, to tense to almost painful. Is it supposed to 
do that?"

Millie smiled, "The French call it petite morte, or the 
little death because just as you crest a really big 
climax it really does feel like your goanna die. It 
sounds like you were right on the brink. When you get 
there, keep going. It's like blowing a balloon up until 
it pops, it gets really hard to do then "bam" it pops 
all a sudden. But with an orgasm, that's when it feels 
so good and it's like a wave rushing out from your 
pussy to your whole body. Mmmm." Millis paused, 
apparently caught up in her own description.

Brenda thought about what she said "I guess I was 
almost there, but I should have kept going"

Millie nodded, "Yea, I think you were just about there. 
After you can get yourself off regularly, you can teach 
your man how to do it for you. I guess I was cumming 
regularly by the time I turned 15. Of coarse you will 
need to teach your husband from scratch. Of coarse it 
would be a lot easier to set you up with one of my 
guys."

It was Brenda's turn to laugh, "Yea, right."

Millie repeated earnestly, "I'm serious. I've got a 
couple of guy friends who are very talented in the sack 
and would be more than happy to spend some time with 
you."

With an emotional jolt Brenda realized she meant it. 
She was suggesting she commit adultery. She had worried 
she might be on a slippery slope even taking about 
these things, but that idea was a cliff not a slope. 
Inwardly her basic instinct was to be offended and 
shocked by the idea, but she made herself focus on the 
truth that Millie was truly trying to be nice and 
helpful. And though it would take her several weeks to 
admit it to herself, she really did envy Millie and her 
sexual freedom. With a calmness that belied the tremor 
in her soul she said "I don't think I could do that. 
But thanks for the offer"

"I won't push you, but let me know if he doesn't come 
around."

They went on through the lunch Brenda posed ever more 
explicit questions that Millie was all to eager to 
answer. They didn't share any Tuesday-Thursday classes 
so it was Wednesday before she saw Millie after Pre-
Columbian American Paleontology. The first thing Millie 
said was "Dr. Harris is a fox. I'm going like this 
class" before asking "So, how's my student doing. Have 
you made it to the big O yet?"

"No," Brenda said, rather down about it. "Mike is in 
town and I couldn't let him catch me doing that."

"Why not?" 

"I'd die and he'd..... well I don't know what he'd do."

"He'd get off on it," Millie said incredulously "It is 
the rare man that doesn't get off on seeing a woman 
playing with herself. Unless he's got a Madonna/whore 
complex going on he's going like watching"

"A Madonna/whore complex?"

"Yea," She said. "Some men put women into two 
categories, they are either totally non-sexual like the 
Holy Madonna, the eternal virgin, Mary mother of Jesus 
to you Baptist; or the woman is consumed with depraved 
sexual desires like a whore. Men like that never see 
their wife as being sexual and have only the most 
cursory sexual relations. To be honest, relations like 
you and your husband's"

"Yea," Brenda agreed. "I can see that. Mike and I 
didn't have sex until our wedding night, and even then 
it was with the lights out and under the covers"

"Does he buy you sexy stuff from Fredrick's of 
Hollywood?"

"NO!" Brenda said before even thinking. Perhaps that 
was what was going on. "How do they treat other women, 
that aren't their holy wife I mean?" 

"They are the types that hire young secretaries with 
big boobs and short skirts, go to strip bars when they 
are on business trips, and of course screw any girl 
they can."

Brenda thought, she did not like what it sounded like. 
Mike has had a series of young pretty secretaries, but 
as far as she knew he didn't frequent strip bars nor 
did he have affairs. As far as she knew. "If a guy like 
that caught his wife being sexual, what would he do?"

"Well Dr. Franks, in my human relationships class 
talked about it, That's how I knew about all that. But 
he said that it causes cognitive dissidence, what he 
sees is in contrast to what he believes. Most men will 
simply forbid the woman to do such stuff and if she 
continues he will treat her like a whore, rather than a 
Madonna. Some men, more modern open mined men, will 
rethink their view of women, and see their wife can be 
both sexual and respectable."

Brenda just mulled over her friend's words.

Millie added "You don't even know if that is how your 
husband sees things. He might just be a crummy fuck."

They both laughed. 

When Brenda came to class on Friday she was all beams 
as she looked for Millie, but Millie didn't show until 
just as class started. The professor began but Brenda 
wasn't listening, she was focused on her success. 
Discreetly, when Millie sat, she made her fingers in to 
the shape of an O. Millie looked quizzically. She 
didn't get it. Brenda covered the front of her mouth 
and mouthed "I had an orgasm last night".

Millie's eyes brightened and gave her friend a big 
thumbs up and mouths, "Later, tell me latter."

And so she did. Once again the talk to the Campus 
Dinner was all about sex. But this time Brenda did the 
talking. "Just like you said, I kept it up after I 
thought I'd go out of my skin and sure enough, it came. 
I came. It was amazing. How had I not done that before? 
And I can do that while having sex?"

"It depends," Millie said. "I occasionally come when a 
guy is in me, but for me the fucking is what gets me 
most ready to have my partner go down on me, or to get 
myself off. If the guy is good, getting head is much 
better, but if he's not it's just distracting."

Brenda heard with new ears. Like she's been let into a 
secret club and now she knew the coded language. She 
wondered what it was like to have a man give her oral 
sex. The books seemed to take it for granted that men 
do that, but Mike had never kissed lower than her 
nipples. Millie's offer from earlier in the week popped 
into her mind. She shocked her self when she thought 
about taking up Millie on her offer to have sex with 
one of her guy friends. He skin tingled, especially in 
her groin at the thought. But, NO, she could not really 
think about that. She changed the subject, sort of.

"Millie?" She asked. "I told you that Mike gets it done 
in like three minutes. Sometimes less, it's like he's 
done before I really feel him in me. How long do your 
boyfriends do it."

"Again it depends, and some guys are so intense I 
wouldn't want to go for hours. Making love to, like 
Stephen, well he's hung like a mule and he's very 
athletic after thirty or forty-five minutes with him 
I'm done. My pussy hurts and I am fully spent. On the 
other hand, I had a lover a few years ago who could 
keep it up and going till dawn. But he was slow and 
gentle. We would kiss and hold and just be together 
sometimes he was in me other times I just felt him on 
my thigh. When we would finally go to sleep I was 
completely satisfied, but in a different way. Aside 
from quickies, which still last a lot longer than your 
used to, a guy worth bedding a second time will give an 
hour or so, give or take."

"An hour? I couldn't imagine." But she was imagining, 
the idea of meeting Millie's friends had taken lodge.

Brenda's next step into this unknown future was going 
shopping with Millie two weeks later. Mike was home and 
she, uncharacteristically, told him he needed to watch 
the kids and she was going shopping with a friend from 
school. She could tell he was a bit surprised, and 
would have been down right shocked that under her light 
jacket and knit top, she was not wearing a bra. She 
hadn't been outside with out a bra since she was 13. It 
was, not exactly sexy, but she felt daring and more 
than a little bit wicked and exposed. She didn't take 
the jacket off except to try on clothes but she still 
felt exposed.

They went to Foleys, the department store from which 
Brenda usually shopped. Millie guided her away from the 
women's section to the juniors where she snapped up 
some skirts a good six inches shorter than anything 
Brenda had in her closet. Millie unnerved her when she 
followed Brenda into the dressing room. Brenda was 
acutely embarrassed as she pulled off her blouse to 
expose her bare breasts, but hid the feeling under a 
bravado she hoped would fool Millie. For Millie's part 
she didn't bat an eye when Brenda was nearly completely 
naked. She did comment "If your going to wear 
underwear, which you should consider not doing, you've 
got to get something a little less... less, matronly." 

Leaving the store she had purchased, a pair of double 
knit hip hugger slacks, two mini-skirts, two mini-
dresses, three blouses and a pair of black boots, and 
six pair of very brief bikini panties. From Foleys 
Millie took her to Henry's Jean Scene and there she got 
three pairs of, incredibly tight, hip hugger bell 
bottom Levis. Trying them on she understood why Millie 
objected to the underwear she was wearing, it came up 
three or four inches higher than the waist band of the 
jeans. There they got finally they went to the most 
dingy store Brenda had ever entered. It was called The 
Purple Haze and it sold both hippie type clothes and 
was Brenda could only guess was drug paraphernalia. 

Here she just let Millie shop. She didn't even try 
anything on, which was just as well since she didn't 
relish the idea of undressing in that place. They left 
with four blouses, well not really blouses, halter tops 
really, all short enough to leave skin exposed from 
just below her breast to just above her waist band, and 
two of them would likely give less coverage than if she 
were wearing only one of her Playtex bras. She also had 
a cache of miscellaneous jewelry and accessories. 
Arriving home, she left everything in the back of her 
'72 Buick Estate Station Wagon knowing her husband 
would not be observant enough to realize he brought 
nothing in the house.

It was Monday after the she'd dropped the kids off at 
Pope Elementary School that she took the bags from the 
car. She didn't have time to try on any of the outfits; 
however Tuesday, as she only had one Tuesday-Thursday 
class, she was able to give herself a fashion show 
putting together different outfits using the new 
wardrobe. She liked the look, very mod; very not 
Baptists mommy, showing lots of skin. 

It was a week before she had the courage to try out the 
new things and even then she wore the green mini-dress 
with opaque tights underneath and a loose jacket 
disguising the fact she'd not worn a bra. She had 
chosen this one because it was the longest of the new 
skirts or dresses, and even still it was a full 6 
inches above her knee cap. 

She was very self conscious, especially when she'd 
removed the jacket as soon as she entered the classroom 
building. It wasn't that she was overly warm, but she 
was pushing herself. Otherwise the jacket would have 
stayed on all day, as it had when then went shopping. 
The green dress was very pretty, and although it was 
the longest in the hem, but it was of a very light wool 
that draped perfectly over her body. Too perfectly, it 
flowed like water over her ever moving bare breasts and 
even displayed visible crowns over her nipples. Too 
exposed; she was about to put her jacket back on when 
Peggy, one of her twenty year old friends, said "You 
look great" not half-way across the foyer. She couldn't 
back out now, 

Even before class started, she received more than a few 
compliments. Was she that much of a prude? She must be 
or no one would notice. Today she was dressed like 
many, if not most, of the young women in class. She 
didn't hear much of the lecture. She was much too 
wrapped up in her own conflicting feelings and self-
evaluation. Was she wrong to dress this way. Certainly 
the ladies at church would say so. Was this some trick 
of Satan, luring her into a life of fleshly desire? 
She'd been masturbating every day before Mike came home 
from work and on the nights when he was out of town. 

She read and reread the stories in his magazines and 
spend hours naked in her bed exploring all the feelings 
in her body. It took just a few days before orgasms 
came easily and she's moved to two and three in a 
night. Was this enlightenment or a trap? And then there 
were her fantasies, drawing from Millie's stories and 
the stories in the magazine. She dwelled on thoughts 
that a few months ago would have repelled her. And it 
was those thoughts that brought the best and strongest 
climaxes. Those fantasies also brought frustration and 
disappointment at her husband's twice weekly momentary 
bouts of sexual activity.

* * 

Over the next few weeks she tried out others of her 
outfits to ever growing compliment from her classmates. 
In Dallas, March brought warm spring weather, so she 
was able to try out all the new outfits, even the 
abbreviated halter tops. And the guys, she was getting 
looks, interested looks from guys more than ten years 
her junior. And most surprising of all, she wasn't 
shocked or offended. She even found herself playing up 
to it; buttoning up one less button on her blouse, 
letting the short skirt ride up her leg even higher, 
and most significantly she began to talk, and flirt 
with some of them.

It was a beautiful warm late March day. Brenda and 
Millie and a young girl named Jennifer and her semi-
boyfriend Bill all had planned a picnic after class on 
the campus lawn. Brenda had worn a pair of her hip-
hugger jeans and the red print halter top that was 
little more than a thin fabric bikini top, her cleavage 
spilling out of the top. After class she'd undone the 
two button and now it was held together only by the tie 
below her bust.

Not to be outdone, Millie wore a very short denim mini-
skirt and yellow tube top that seemed to slide lower by 
the minute. They spread the blanket and pulled out the 
contents of their several paper bags. It was all very 
idyllic. She was still experiencing more parts of a 
world she had never seen before. When Jennifer pulled a 
joint from her purse and lit up, it seemed so normal. 
She'd seen people smoking pot right in the open on 
campus quite a bit. Again what a change in her 
perspective. 

Millie took a big drag and after exhaling said "I must 
say Brenda that outfit looks great on you. I did good 
picking it out."

"Yea, you did. My new wardrobe seems to suite the new 
me," she replied.

"Ah, the new you, does the good Christian husband of 
yours know about the new you?"

"God no!"

"Well," she said before taking a second drag and 
passing the joint. "You should give him a chance to 
reform before you start fucking around."

Brenda knew she'd been hinting that her resolve against 
committing adultery was weakening by the day, but she 
didn't know she's been that obvious. 

"What makes you think I'm about to start doing that?"

Rather than answering Millie looked over at Jennifer 
and Bill "Do you think she'll make it through spring 
break faithful to her boring husband?"

Bill holding the joint said "If she doesn't do it with 
one of your guys first, I'm sure she'll knock heels 
with Tommy Connors the first time they get alone." He 
looked directly at Brenda "and you know it"

She knew full well he was right, but wasn't about to 
admit it. Tommy was one of their classmates who 
frequently ate lunch with Millie, Brenda and their 
crew. She liked him and they flirted quite a bit. She'd 
made repeated "joking" comments hinting that she would 
like to make it with him. And in the last week he'd 
become the focus of much of her daily self pleasuring. 
Yes, she knew it was true, given a privet room and some 
time she would do it with him, but she was not going to 
admit such. "No I won't"

Millie said, "You don't think so?"

"No, I'm sure so" Brenda lied.

She could Millie thinking. "OK, if you're so sure of 
yourself, when is your husband out of town next?"

Brenda didn't like this line of talk, but she was 
committed "He leaves Monday morning. He'll be gone 
until Wednesday. Why?" though she knew why she was 
asking.

"Jennifer can you baby-sit her kids for a couple hours 
Tuesday night?"

"Sure."

"OK, its set. We'll have dinner at my place. Tuesday 
night."

"Who is we?" Brenda demanded.

"Me, you, Bill and Tommy." Millie looked to Jennifer "I 
can barrow Bill can't I?"

"He's not my boyfriend, do what you like with him."

"Good, then it's set."

Between that moment on Friday and the moment she'd 
arrived at Millie's door on Tuesday, she'd been a 
nervous wreck. Facing a decision she only fantasized 
about, was she ready? She didn't know. What she did 
know was that she began masturbating and fantasizing 
multiple times each day. Mike even asked if she was 
sick because she kept disappearing into the bathroom. 
She couldn't relax enough to climax when Mike was home, 
well at least when he was awake, she, on Saturday 
nights slipped out of the master bedroom and imagined 
it was Tommy touching her as she lay on the living room 
couch, until she had climaxed not fewer than four 
times. 

Monday at lunch Millie was cruel by making sure Tommy 
was invited to lunch with them. She tried to be funny 
and flirtatious but it just seemed so forced. The 
sexual tension inside of her was so strong she felt 
constricted of air. She was glad when she had to go to 
her next class. That night she had to take a sleeping 
pill or she would have never gotten to sleep, even 
after a hour and a half of on and off masturbation. 

She straightened her dress. It was a blue and white 
halter min-dress. Millie had insisted that for an event 
like this she should not wear panties, but there was 
just no way. She might know she would likely commit 
adultery tonight, but she was not about to do that.

Millie opened the door of her apartment. She looked 
fabulous. In contrast to her usual bohemian look, she 
wore what appeared to be a pale yellow silk blouse, 
very low cut displaying a generous amount of her 
breast. She matched the blouse with an extremely short 
blue miniskirt with brass buttons on either side, again 
her lovely olive skin was in ample abundance. The 
outfit was finished off with yellow pumps. Every hair 
in place, make up (which she had never seen Millie 
wear) she looked like she'd stepped off a Cosmopolitan 
Magazine cover. 

"I clean up good don't I?" Millie said inviting her in.

Millie showed off many talents of which Brenda had no 
idea.

The small apartment was richly decorated with a mix of 
avant-garde hippy art and a number of classical pieces. 
Brenda had expected something far more Spartan.

Her Italian dinner was amazing. She played the hostess 
brilliantly keeping the conversation moving, and just 
racy enough to be scandalous in it's own right. Millie 
poured Brenda a glass of red wine, though she knew 
Brenda had never been a drinker. "You'll like this, 
it's made near the Villa where I spent a summer in 
France. It's very fruity and just a bit sweet."

Brenda's hesitation was only in her mind. Outwardly she 
joined in the toast and took her first sip of wine. The 
taste wasn't as bad as she'd expected, but it felt like 
cough syrup going down as the warmth radiated from the 
liquid as she drank.

* * 

After dinner she ushered the guests from the table to 
the sofa/loveseat sitting area and she proceeded to 
serve cheese cake and coffee. Sitting next to Tommy on 
the love seat she could clearly see how short Millie's 
skirt was. When she even bent over slightly the base of 
the curved buttocks was visible. She suspected that 
Millie had taken her own advice and not worn anything 
under her clothes. Her suspicion was confirmed when 
Millie sat, the skirt rode up for a moment and her 
pubis was plainly visible. Granted she did pull her 
skirt back down, but not in any great hast and when 
ever she moved she would again be momentary exposed to 
both she and Tommy. 

She didn't think she'd be taken aback as she was, 
especially since she had told Brenda to do the same. At 
first it seemed crass and just too much, but as the 
conversation wend on and she found herself captivated 
by the game of pee-a-boo she understood the purpose. If 
she was that intrigued, any man would be under her 
spell. She wondered if the peek she was giving of her 
red panties was anything remotely as captivating as the 
show Millie was putting on. She doubted it.

After half an hour she worked up the courage. She 
excused herself and went to the restroom where she 
removed her panties and put then in her purse, then 
returned to the living room; though she was not so 
eager, once back in the room, to show Bill her goods as 
Millie was to show Tommy. After all, she'd see him 
again tomorrow.

In the time she was gone the talk had gotten distinctly 
more sexual in nature. Bill was talking "...and the 
jizz sprayed everywhere," the others laughed. Millie 
looked up at Brenda, "Ah, your back."

Brenda sat cautiously. She was acutely aware of the 
skirt riding up as she bent down to sit. Neither Millie 
or Bill gave any reaction though the cool air told her 
that she was exposed. 

After some more sexual talk Millie stood and motioned 
to Brenda to talk to her on the side. She said "If you 
don't mind Bill and I are going in my room so I can 
take Jennifer up on her offer to let me use him as I 
please." 

Brenda nodded.

She turned to Bill and then seemed to have a second 
though. Loud enough for all to hear she said, "Rather 
this, Bill and I will stay here and you two can use my 
room to get to know each other better."

Brenda just stood next to the love seat, this was the 
moment of truth. 

Millie looked at her not moving. "OK, suite yourself, 
you are free to stay and watch. I'm sure it will be a 
show worth seeing."

With that she hiked her skirt up to her waist, 
completely exposing herself, and straddled Bill who was 
still sitting on the couch. She looked back at Brenda 
and pulled the tube top over her head with a jerk. 
Millie's breasts were surprisingly full and round with 
tiny brown, not pink, erect nipples. She sat there a 
moment, now nearly completely naked looking at Brenda, 
then turned his attention back to Bill and began to 
kiss him with energy.

Brenda just stood there as they kissed like desperate 
lovers, rather than the simple friends they were. It 
was sex without love or even lust, just sex for fun. 
She looked down at Tommy, who was obviously waiting for 
her to act. She looked back at Millie and Bill, he had 
her nipple in his mouth. She initially just enjoyed 
then turned her head once more to Brenda. Her eyes 
clearly said that this was time to act or call it off. 
Brenda looked to Tommy, offered her hand and they went 
to the bedroom and shut the door behind them.

The room was not large, a double bed and dresser. A 
psycodelic painting and an abstract nude graced the 
walls. She led him to the bed and he said. She stood in 
front of him. Like she had seen her friend she moved to 
straddle him, though she only hiked her skirt up enough 
to spread her legs wide enough to stand on her knees 
with his hips between her thighs. With nothing behind 
him, he fell to the bed, she now was sitting on him, 
looking down. As her weight settled she could feel the 
firm ridge of his penis under her. His jeans pressed 
directly on her sensitive lips. The intensity of that 
simple act, not even his flesh touching hers was enough 
to cause her to physically shutter. 

She took a deep breath and ever so slowly rotated her 
hips. The rough denim caused both discomfort and 
arousal, intense arousal. She closed her eyes and just 
felt. She was on another man's penis and it was 
exciting. She savored the feeling as the Joy of Sex 
book said to do. Her hands coursed up her body as if 
they were a separate entity. She held her breasts 
outside the fabric. It was all so satisfying. Her 
arousal was building, she was sure she could climax 
just doing this. She had worked her lips around the 
denim covered shaft and by leaning forward she brought 
just enough pressure on her clitoris. She would 
certainly come.

Her blissful bubble of self pleasure on Tommy's body 
was punctured when Tommy's hands greedily grabbed her 
to pull her down to kiss him. This was a rude surprise. 
In her nearly a month of sexual self exploration she 
had always been the one doing everything, at her pace. 
Now Tommy was urgent, insistent. Her arousal that had 
been building steady for days was washed away. Now she 
just felt cheep and used. And besides, the denim was 
chaffing her sensitive inner lips. She repositioned 
herself to more or less lying on his chest.

She kissed him back, but only as a means of giving 
herself time to think. He could kiss. It was pleasant. 
She felt her body begin to respond. But no, she would 
not do this tonight. She knew that then as if it were 
written in stone. There would be no adultery, but she 
would enjoy the kissing and she let him fondle her 
breasts, though he was better at kissing. 

She did not want to have sex with him, not tonight at 
least, but she also did not want to hurt his feelings. 
She had led him to believe they would have sex. The 
book had the answer, and it was indeed something she 
did want to try.

She broke his kiss and rolled off him. Her hands felt 
for the snap on his jeans. She sat up to unzip him. 
With deliberate precision she folded the two sides of 
the open fly back. Beneath was a pair of white briefs, 
the clear shape of the penis was even more evident with 
the heavier denim gone. 

"Help me with this," she whispered and she, like she 
had taken the pants from her boys where they were 
little, pulled the jeans down when he lifted his 
buttocks from the bed. She then took the waist band of 
the briefs. He lifted again and his penis and scrotum 
were full in view. He was perhaps a little bigger than 
her husband, but in the years they had been married she 
had not ever looked so intently at Mike's penis, in the 
light, as she was looking at young Tommy's. 

It was fully engorged, standing up a few inches from 
the his pelvis. She took it in her right hand. It was 
hot, and indeed it was thicker than Mike's but no 
longer. She caressed it with both hands, gently the 
same way she caressed her breasts.

"That's nice," Tommy said in a breathy voice.

She was glad to hear she was doing well, but did not 
respond. She was preparing herself for the unknown. The 
book clearly indicated that oral sex was a normal and 
enjoyable part of sex, but to her his was so alien.

She swiveled her body onto the bed, up on her elbows 
looking down at his crotch. With deliberation she 
lowered her mouth to the pink tip. Looking at it she 
knew she would have no problem putting it in her mouth, 
it was no bigger than a fudgesicle. 

The kids had been grateful but surprised at their 
mother's sudden interest in fudgesicle's, and amused by 
her funny way of licking it by putting the entire thing 
in her mouth at once. She'd always been able to eat 
fast with out gagging and the last few weeks 'eating' 
fudgesicles had simply confirmed what she thought when 
she read The Joy of Sex and its discussion of putting a 
man's penis in a woman's mouth. 

She treated it not unlike a popsicle, she ran her 
tongue up and down the shaft slowly, tasting it's 
flavor and taking in the scent. It was highly erotic 
and every bit as exciting putting her mouth on this 
penis as she had imagined it would be. 

Her lips kissed the shaft upward until they crested the 
sponge like head. She slowly opened her mouth and began 
to take him into her body. To her, this seemed so much 
more personal and sexual than having Mike's penis jab 
into her for a few moments before shooting out semen. 
She mused that already this was the longest lasting 
sexual experience in her life. She drew the shaft out 
after it was half way in, leaving it slick with her 
saliva. She had an instinctive urge to press her lips 
on the head and suck hard, this elicited a moan from 
Tommy. She repeated and then was aware of an unusual 
taste. Not bad, not good, just unusual. She was sure 
this wasn't his ejaculation, so it must be something 
that comes before that. 

She relaxed mouth, and lowed down on to him again. With 
very little difficulty she felt his coarse pubic hair 
on her lips. She had him all the way in. She held him 
there, enjoying, savoring a man fully in her, yet she 
not he was in charge. This would not be a one time 
event. She was sure she would do this again.

She began to with a steady rhythm stroke him with her 
mouth. Relax on the way down, press and suck on the way 
up. Long languid, unhurried, she continued, for how 
long she did not know, but she was surprised when hip 
hips bucked up at her and into her mouth several long 
burst of semen shot from the object of her enjoyment. 
There really wasn't all that much of it and though she 
knew he'd climaxed, she was not ready to relinquish her 
pleasure. Not even breaking her rhythm, she simply had 
another unusual taste in her mouth. Not exactly like 
the earlier taste, but similar. 

Maybe it really did taste better, maybe it was just her 
feeling of success, but she thought this was a pleasant 
experience to have his sperm in her mouth. She 
swallowed most of it on the next up stroke but she 
could taste it until he had deflated to the point he 
could not hold it rigid. 

She rolled over, onto her knees and pulled her dress up 
over her head and lay back down, her head on his 
stomach and with out discussion began to masturbate. It 
was different not being alone, more focused, and as she 
had become fully aroused again well before he had 
ejaculated it did not take long for her to have an 
orgasm so strong her body shook like she was having a 
seizure. When it was past, she was done. One was all 
she needed and one was all she could do.

Tommy became active before she was ready. Evidently he 
was hard again and ready to continue. She was done 
though. As kindly as she could she said "That was 
great, but I'm done for now." And she stood and pulled 
her dress back over her head before opening the door.

On the floor on the in front of the couch was Millie on 
all fours, with Bill behind her, covered with sweat, 
stroking for all he was worth. I looked just like one 
of the drawings in her book. She knew she should be 
embarrassed, but she wasn't, she was intrigued to see 
how it is done in person. She watched his hands 
gripping her waist with obvious intensity. His arms, 
shoulders and abs all were in strenuous motion and the 
resultant effort had brought up a glistening coat of 
sweat that made his body shine.

With each stroke all the way in, she watched Millie's 
thighs push back into his incoming thrust to make an 
impact hard enough to fill the room with a resounding 
snap as their bodies collided. The collision caused her 
big breasts to jump forward and drive out a small 
breath from Millie's lungs. Bits of sweat flew from 
both of their bodies and the their intensity filled the 
room. All told it was a much more athletic and a more 
violent vision of sex than she had ever imagined.

She stood watching for some time. She assumed neither 
Millie nor Bill knew she was watching, but without 
prior acknowledgment of her presence, Millie said, "How 
was Tommy?" Only then did she, motion for Bill to stop, 
looked up and smiled. Bill sat back against the side of 
the couch. 

Now Brenda was embarrassed, she'd been watching her 
friend have sex like some lecherous old man. She began 
moving toward the door on the other side of the room. 
Walking, she said, "Really, good. A real eye opener." 

Millie stood and met Brenda at the door. For a reason 
she could not explain, now she was very embarrassed. 
Her friend pulled the door open, while still completely 
nude. Bill, another friend, sat against the side of the 
couch, equally naked, with his full erection very 
visible. She's just implied she'd had sex with Tommy, 
though she had not. She just wanted to leave. She was 
sure her face showed that to Mille. 

"We'll talk tomorrow," Millie said with a voice of 
concern.

"OK," Brenda replied and was out of the apartment. 

She was filled with conflicting thoughts and emotions. 
Was she such a different person than the one who she 
had been the first 33 years of her life. She knew, with 
certainty she would be in bed with other men. She was 
also sure this was the last time she'd be with a man 
and not have full sex. What did that mean? Was she 
depraved, or had she been deprived? She didn't have any 
answer. 

She was glad the kids were not down when she got home, 
so she did not have to say anything to Jennifer other 
than a vague reference that she'd had a very good time, 
which was indeed true. 

* * 

The next day at lunch, Millie, Jennifer and Bill 
pounced, and evidently news traveled fast because the 
big round table was filled with an additional three 
girls from their rotating lunch group.

Jennifer stared right off, "OK, what happened last 
night. You said it was great but Bill says Tommy said 
you guys didn't do it."

Fortunately Brenda wasn't blindsided, Millie had told 
her as much as they walked and she had given herself 
the ten minute walk to compose an answer. She arranged 
took a bite of her burger and deliberately made the 
others wait until she'd swallowed. "I guess his 
definition of doing it and mine are a bit different. 
And it hurts me that he seems to say I was not worth 
remembering, but at the time he seemed to be enjoying 
himself." Her hurt was a bit over played as Millie had 
mentioned that he was very complimentary about what she 
had done, but he had noted that they did not have 
intercourse. 

Bill jumped in, "Oh, he went on and on about the most 
amazing head he'd ever had."

"Really?" she replied. "What did he say?"

"He said your deep throat was like nothing he'd ever 
experienced."

"Deep throat? Like Bernstein's source at the White 
House?" she inquired. She thought she had an idea of 
what the term meant in this case, but compliments of 
her sexual skill was something she wanted to hear.

"Like the X-rated movie," Jennifer explained. "Taking a 
guy's dick all the way in your mouth; most girls can't 
do it. I've only done it once and that was on this guys 
in high school who had the littlest dick I'd ever 
seen."

Darleen, the pretty blond who had joined them for 
lunch, added, "I can assure you he is not small." A few 
laughs later Jennifer said, "Did you really take it all 
in over and over like he said?"

"Isn't that how I was supposed to do it?" Brenda asked, 
a bit surprised she had done something unusual.

Darleen again spoke up, "If you can, it's super groovy. 
But, a guy that size rarely has a girl that can do it 
even once to him. I couldn't."

Millie cut in, "Why don't you just tell us what 
happened?"

She had rehearsed this part in her mind, "When, we went 
into your bedroom we kissed for a while, then I took 
down his pants. His penis was very nice looking. Not 
that I've seen very many." That line got the laughs she 
was hoping to get "I got it all wet by kissing and 
licking then I did what I thought was normal, but I 
guess from what your saying it isn't. I put it all in 
my mouth. I really liked the way I could feel and taste 
it. And when I stared having sex with him that way it 
was like nothing I'd ever done before. I could feel 
every response he made. I was more involved and in 
control that I ever have when my husband lies on top of 
me and puts it in my pussy." That word was not in her 
normal vocabulary but she was trying to sound hip.

Jennifer asked, "Now when you say you had sex that way, 
what do you mean? I don't think your using the same 
words we use."

"Oh," Brenda said. "I just meant that I started taking 
almost all of it out of my mouth, then going down till 
it was all the way in: like we were having regular sex, 
but in my mouth. Like I said, I really liked doing 
that, and I could tell he did too."

"I bet he did," Tommy agreed. "If you want a second 
try, I'm right here."

Jennifer elbowed him "Normally girls just do the top 
half or so that way. I don't think I know anyone who 
can do the whole thing."

The others at the table nodded in agreement.

"Well, after a while did start doing it that way. I 
just couldn't do it fast when I took it all in, so as I 
sped up I took less in. By the time he climaxed I was 
going really fast but just doing the top part."

"What did you do when he came?" Vicky, a tall athletic 
red head, asked

"I kept it up. I was enjoying myself, why should I quit 
just because he squirts."

"But what did you do with the stuff?" the red-head 
persisted.

"I didn't do anything with it. There wasn't all that 
much. I guess I swallowed a good bit of it right off, 
the rest I just kept in my mouth to add to the fun. Was 
that unusual too? I mean the book seemed to indicate 
that was normal to enjoy the taste and let it last."

Millie added to the others "She's been reading The Joy 
of Sex." Then to Brenda she said "For some women, like 
me, yea, its normal. But for women coming from your 
background I guess it's just a bit of a surprise."

Was she wanton? Was she some sort of harlot in waiting? 
Was she like someone who was predisposed to being an 
alcoholic having their first bender? Even more of a 
concern was that she wasn't sure she cared.

It was two weeks before she again had opportunity to 
have sex, real full sex, with someone other than her 
husband. This time Mike had the kids and she'd gone to 
a study- night before an exam in her Pre-Columbian 
Culture and Religion course. There were four of them 
that came to study in the apartment that red-headed 
Vicky shared with her boyfriend. The other two girls 
left after two hours of serious work, but Vicky asked 
Brenda to stay for some wine (for which Brenda had also 
developed a taste), with she and her boyfriend Kevin. 
When she began to leave Vicky asked casually "Do you 
have time for some play time with me and Kevin. In bed 
I mean, play with us in bed."

She was taken completely off guard, and flattered. 
Vicky was young and pretty and her boyfriend was 
extremely handsome. She felt her body respond, saying 
yes nearly immediately. But her mind still had to 
process this. Was she ready to have sex with this man 
while Mike was at home babysitting? It seemed different 
with him at home rather than in some distant part city. 
"Wow, I'm flattered. I really sounds tempting," she 
said with genuine appreciation for the offer, but still 
buying time to think. 

She downed one more swallow from the bottom of her wine 
glass. He was really attractive, but she looked to the 
clock it was past 8:00. She assured Mike she would be 
home by 8:00 to put the kids to sleep. "Damn the time." 
She rarely cursed but she really did want Vicky to know 
she wasn't blowing off her offer. "I really, I mean 
really, would love to take you up on your offer, but 
I've got to get home to get the kids in bed. My husband 
is a good provider, but not much of a babysitter. Can I 
take a rain check on that offer, next time we can just 
cut the study time short?"

At 3:00 AM that night, she found herself stretched out 
on the couch masturbating while her husband slept. She 
imagined all the things she would do with Vicky and her 
boyfriend. Millie had spoken of manage-a-trios in 
positive terms on several occasions. Now Brenda 
climaxed three times imagining one.



Though she had several other rather explicit offers for 
sex over the next few weeks a rolling case of strep 
throat at home brought her mommy role back to the 
forefront. It was the second week in April when she 
finally became the adulteress. It had been raining 
progressively harder all morning and she had parked on 
the far parking lot. By the time class let out the rain 
was coming in sheets. Billy offered to get his truck 
and pick her up at the door of the classroom building 
and driver her to her car. Even as she slid onto the 
bench seat of his old Ford pick-up, she visualized 
herself going down on him.

When they found her car and he pulled the old truck in 
an open space two cars from her own, the rain was 
coming harder than ever. Less than half joking she 
asked leaning over toward him "And what can I do for 
you to show how much I appreciate this?"

"I don't know" he said running his hand across his 
crotch "I'm sure there is something you could do"

She was afraid her hands would tremble and give away 
her nervous anticipation as she reached and placed her 
hand on the bulge in his Levis. She was not surprised 
to find the shaft below very firm. "and will Jennifer 
object if I give you a very personal thank you?"

"Other than the fact she really wants to see how you do 
it, she want mind." He said and began unbuckling his 
pants.

Without further words she helped him take off his pants 
and underwear. For a second time, she held a penis in 
her hand and considered how to make love to it. He had 
wedged himself against he door and seat giving her 
better access to his lap. It was rather dark and the 
rain on the roof was making a steady din. The head of 
his penis was bigger than Tommy's had been . She 
wrapped her lips around it and suckled gently. Her hand 
felt up and down the shaft. 

She thought about licking it as she had Tommy's but 
given her cramped quarters that was not possible. 
Instead she just took it slowly down in her mouth. As 
it was dry, it took several warm up rounds to get 
enough saliva on it to take it all the way in. As 
before, she let herself focus all her being on the act 
of taking the penis in her body. He tasted and smelled 
a little different. She wondered would every man be 
different or were there like categories of penises. 

She took her time. Her arousal build as her head moved 
up and down in Billy's lap. His enjoyment was evident 
in his vocalizing, but he made no effort to rush her. 
She soon tasted the spittle coming from the tip of the 
shaft. She wished she was on a bed so she could get 
naked and try to get herself off while she did him. 
That was not possible and she would not let this day go 
without feeling him between her other lips. 

The rain had slacked some when she rose up and kissed 
him. She sat up and pulled her bottom off the seat, and 
slid her panties off under her mini-skirt. She wasn't 
sure exactly how she would do this but she rolled 
around and used the gun rack as a handled to pull 
herself up, knees in the seat facing the rear window. 

With a little finesse she cleared the long shift lever 
and pressed her stomach into his chest, with the 
steering wheel at her back. With the left hand holding 
the gun rack, she lifted the front of her skirt with 
the right hand and reaching down, she found his penis. 
It took a little work, but she soon could feel her 
little lips wrapped around the big head. She closed her 
eyes and concentrated on what was happening out of her 
view, underneath her. 

It took a combination of spreading her thighs, and 
arching her back up against the steering wheel to press 
his shaft into her. Once she was down to his thighs she 
stopped and took in the moment. The quiet fullness was 
oddly satisfying. She could see a few people scurrying 
through the parking lot in the moderate rain. No one 
seemed to take any notice of the blue truck or what was 
happening inside to fog up the windows. She nuzzled 
into the side of his head. "you feel good" she said in 
his ear.

She waned to move on him, but there just was not room. 
She wanted to do this, but how?

After she just couldn't make it work she leaned back 
against the steering wheel so she could look him in the 
face. "OK, I give up. How do you do this. I can't 
move."

He smiled "I think your doing great. But here." He said 
indicating she should dismount. She did. He pulled his 
pants from the floorboard and tossed them over her 
shoulder "Put that on there and lay your head against 
it.

She lay back and he lifted her left foot until it 
rested on the top of the bench sheet. Her right leg 
spilled down toward the floorboard. The only time in 
her life she'd been this exposed was for her 
obstetrician. Rather than getting on top of her as she 
expected, as her husband would have done, he knelt and 
scooped her up, guiding his penis into her as she 
lifted her hips up to meet his. With foot wedged 
against the base of the floor mounted shifter as 
leverage, he was able to begin and maintain a rhythm of 
two or three inch deep strokes. Each one ending in the 
same 'smack' he had heard him do to Millie.

The experience was like nothing she had imagined in her 
endless hours of fantasy and masturbation in the past 
months. Unexpected, but it was not disappointing. She 
began counting the cadence. After fifty she finally 
believed that he could and would keep this up as long 
as he chose. From one corner of her mind came the first 
thought that maybe her husband Mike also kept it up as 
long as he chose, but only chose to do it for three 
minutes at a time.

A loud crash of thunder and a nearly simultaneous burst 
of light caused them both to jump; her up-right and he, 
back to the far door. Their fright led to laughter and 
their laughter to renewed passion. She never did 
remember who initiated the removal of his and her 
remaining cloths, but as their kisses and caresses 
proceeded, they were soon both in the nude. She 
delighted in stroking his penis with her hand as his 
lips coursed over her bare breasts. 

Somehow she knew it was the last act when she found 
herself on her hands and knees, and Billy griping her 
ass, pressing his organ back into her. It felt so good. 
She knew couples did it 'doggie' but until his penis 
began pressing up against the front wall of her vagina 
she did not understand it's special draw. She could 
feel him take fell complete head to base revolutions. 
She could exquisitely feel the ridge of the head first 
push down on the sensitive fore-wall, then arc up 
ending pressed right up onto her cervix. Unhurried, but 
with out lethargy, he worked his tool in her.

Her eyes were closed and she was so close to a climax, 
so close but just couldn't make the final assent. No 
matter; from her loins radiated an electric current 
that ran to her toes, fingers and brain. It had taken 
until she was in her thirties but she knew with out a 
doubt, this was why people loved having sex. This was 
the bliss she'd read about and she'd heard her new 
friends describe. Yes, she had already learned to 
climax, but this was the proper and full way of getting 
prepared.

Her nirvana like state was penetrated, not broken, but 
penetrated by a bump she could feel on the door which 
her left hand was propped to prevent her from hitting 
her head each time Billy's hips hit hers. 

Her eyes opened but it took a moment for the vision to 
make sense. Outside, the rain had significantly eased 
and the clouds not so dark. A red Mustang had replaced 
the blue van that had been there when she and Billy had 
begun. When had the van left of the new car arrived? 
The door of the new car was open against the door of 
Billy's truck. A man she did not recognized was just 
standing beside the door. His eyes looked directly into 
hers. He looked surprised, and then smiled, then he was 
gone. Clearly he'd seen everything going on in the 
truck's cab. Even this intrusion did not break her 
arousal.

Billy on the other hand sped up his pace as soon as the 
man had gone. In short order he felt him grip her 
thighs very hard and hold himself all the way in her. 
His hips still pressed but their bodies did not 
separate until he fell backward, panting hard. She 
stayed on all fours for a few moments imagining Billy's 
semen insider her: inside Mike's private domain. It was 
his private domain no longer. Her womb was hers to do 
with as she wished. And today she'd wished to have it 
filled with Billy's seed. Though her body was still in 
a state of arousal; her heart burst with pride and a 
sense of accomplishment.

Sure, she was cold, uncomfortable and a little 
embarrassed; but she was mostly proud of the fact she'd 
actually gone through with it this time. Twice before 
in the past month she'd had the opportunity and desire, 
but she just couldn't, but this time, this time she 
would not go home feeling like a coward and a prude. 
She hadn't climaxed, but she'd deal with that before 
the kids got home from school.

She was now a full member of the group. Every day from 
the time the kids left in the morning until they came 
home in the afternoon, she was a young, free woman. 
Free to do what she wanted with whom she wanted to do 
it.

But, in all her new found confidence was a nagging 
sense of guilt. By spring break she's had that second 
study session with Vicky, and the ensuing romp in the 
bed with she and Vicky's boyfriend. It was not the fact 
she was now non-monogamous, but rather that she was 
living a life of hypocrisy. In the evenings and 
weekends and especially on Sunday's she professed to be 
something she was not, something she no longer believed 
in. 

Was this the beginning of her life as a modern woman, 
or was it the end of her life of quite happy stability? 
Maybe it would be both, but she was now ready to grasp 
her future with her own hands. Come what may, it would 
be her decisions that brought success or failure, not 
the whims of chance, the creed of the church or the 
expectations of her community.

END

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's okay to *READ* stories about unprotected sex with
others outside a monogamous relationship. But it isn't
okay to *HAVE* unprotected sex with people other than
a trusted partner. 4-million people around the world 
contract HIV every year. You only have one body per 
lifetime, so take good care of it!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kristen's collection - Directory 63