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What's In The Jar?
by Hyulhyulhyul (hyulhyulhyul@yahoo.com)

***

In fractured English, a middle aged man tells the story 
of his relationship with a childhood friend in reply to 
the question "What's in the jar" from fellow patrons at 
a bar. (Fm, nc, ped, exh, bi)

***

"Well, ya see, there was this feller by the name of 
Virgil I used to run with when my daddy lost his job 
and I was stayin' with my granny in Ohio for a coupla 
years while him and Ma went out to look up my uncle Ned 
in Fresno. Ned had him a worm farm out there and my 
daddy figured he could hit him up for a job. Big 
mistake. Anyway, this Virgil was a couple years older 
than me, but he was in the eighth grade, same as me.

"He was a real ugly sucker, with bright orange hair, a 
shitload of freckles, and big ole nose holes you could 
look right into. More times than not, they was full of 
boogers. He was always workin' a finger in there and 
scoopin' 'em out. If you didn't watch out, he'd flip 
one at you when you wasn't lookin'. Nobody wanted to 
mess with him. He was tough as nails and mean as a 
snake. Someone tole me he put one of the teachers in 
the hospital once, but Virgil wouldn't talk about it, 
so I never knowed for sure if it was true. 

"For some reason, he took a shine to me. I could never 
figger out why, but he latched onto me like I was his 
long lost buddy the first time I ever set eyes on him. 
I was takin' a piss in the boys' room and he elbowed up 
beside me and took hisself a look at my pecker. I 
wasn't no slacker in that department, even at the age 
of fourteen. But Virgil put me to shame. After he seen 
the size of my pecker, he whipped out this thing that 
looked like a horse dick and waved it at me. Then he 
slapped me on the back and said that me and him was 
gonna be buddies. 

"He was quite a guy once you got to know him. He showed 
me how to swipe empty pop bottles from behind the A&P 
and cash 'em in at a carry out near his grandma's 
house. We come near gettin' caught a couple of times 
and had to lay off for a while. But we made up for it 
one night when there was this big blizzard and the snow 
was drifted up to our asses. We loaded up a couple 
sleds and made off with ever' bottle they had and put 
'em in the garage at Virgil's grandma's. After that 
they put up a fence, so we had to find us another way 
to get money. 

"Virgil always had somethin' goin' on to get him some 
money. Sometimes he'd cut me in on one of 'em. Like, 
there was this old guy with one arm that run a little 
corner grocery store. He'd take Virgil back in the 
stock room after he was closed and give Virgil twenty 
dollars to play with his peter and let him cornhole 
him. Virgil took me over there with him one evenin' and 
tole me to let the guy put his hand in my pocket so he 
could feel how I was hung. 

Purty soon, that ole guy had his hand down inside my 
pants and was squeezin' my balls. Then Virgil tole me 
to let him put his peter in me and there'd be ten 
dollars in it for me. It hurt like a son of a bitch 
even after he greased me up with some lard or 
somethin', but Virgil said it would be easier the next 
time. 

"After that, I'd go over there ever' week or so and get 
my ten bucks. Virgil would collect the other ten for 
hisself when the ole guy cornholed him. I guess that 
was fair. He coulda jest kept the ole guy to hisself 
and I wouldn'ta got nothin'.

"I only ever seen Virgil cry just one time. That was 
the day his momma come home from the hospital. She'd 
been in there for a while and I guess the inshorance 
run out because they brung her home to Virgil's 
grandma's and put her in a upstairs bedroom. I run over 
that Saturday to see if Virgil wanted to go throw some 
snowballs at cars from the overpass. I found him 
sittin' on his grandma's back porch cryin' like his 
heart was broke. He got all pissed off when he seen me 
watchin' him and come after me with a big ole snow 
shovel. I could always outrun Virgil, but he come close 
to brainin' me with that shovel. A coupla days later, 
he come around all contrite like and tole me about how 
his momma had been brung home from the hospital that 
day and how he had felt so bad about it. 

"Virgil didn't have a lotta free time after that. He 
had to help his grandma take care of his momma 'cause 
they couldn't afford no nurse. Helpin' his grandma 
meant that Virgil had to do ever'thing. His grandma was 
this toothless ole skank with big ole titties that hung 
down to her belly button like a coupla stretched out 
water balloons. She was always heftin' and scratchin' 
em inside one of them men's undershirts that don't have 
no sleeves while she lain out on her sofa and watched 
soap oper's all fuckin' day. Then she'd run out and 
play Bingo two or three nights a week. 

"Virgil took me up to see his momma one night about a 
month later when his grandma was out playin' Bingo. He 
tole me after school that day to come over after seven 
thirty. His grandma wouldn't be back till eleven or so, 
so she couldn't give Virgil a hard time for lettin' me 
in to see his momma. When I come to the door, Virgil 
was there waitin' fer me and tole me to come in and 
follow him. We went up to his momma's room and I seen 
her fer the first time. She was layin' under a sheet on 
this big ole hospital type bed with rails on the sides 
and cranks on it to set her up or raise her feet up.

"I could see right off that she was a real looker, if 
you didn't pay no mind to the blank stare and the 
vacant look. Virgil said she had some kind of a fit at 
the bowlin' alley one night and she was in a coma and 
wouldn't never wake up. He said he needed to give her a 
bath and ast me if I would like to help him. 

I said I guessed it would be all right if he didn't 
mind me seein' his momma nekid. Then he pulled the 
sheet and some kinda gown offa her. She was wearin' 
this big diaper, but the rest of her was nekid. I could 
see her big purty titties with great big nipples 
stickin' up on 'em. I started gettin a boner from 
lookin' at her titties and I turned away to hide it 
from Virgil. I didn't want to piss him off for gettin' 
a boner from lookin' at his poor nekid momma. 

"But that was what Virgil had in mind all along. He 
wanted me to get a boner from lookin' at her 'cause he 
wanted me to fuck her. When he seen my pecker jumpin' 
around in my pants, he grabbed onto it and ast me if 
I'd like to put it in his momma's pussy. Now I may have 
been ole Virgil's buddy and all, but Virgil wasn't the 
kind to give anythin' away for nuthin'. 

"So I knew that there'd be some price to pay for 
fuckin' his momma. I just hoped I'd be able to pay it, 
'cause all of a sudden I really wanted to fuck her. 
Virgil said he'd already give her her bath and that she 
was good and clean. He tole me to go ahead and touch 
her titties if I wanted to. They was really nice. I 
squoze on em for a bit, then Virgil tole me to go ahead 
and suck em. 

"Them big ole nipples felt awful nice in my mouth. My 
boner was gettin' so hard that I thought it might bust 
outta my pants, so I unzipped my fly and pulled it out. 
That was when Virgil tole me I'd haf to suck his dick 
after I fucked his mom or I could forget about it. I 
tole him I reckoned I could do that if I had to. So he 
took that big ole diaper offa his momma and showed me 
one of the purtiest pussies I ever seen, before or 
since. Course I hadn't never seen no pussies before 
that, 'cept in a coupla dirty magazines. 

"Virgil tole me to go ahead and put my peter in her. He 
lifted up her legs one at a time and spread 'em apart 
with her knees up so I could get into her. I guess all 
that squeezin' and suckin' on her titties got her pussy 
all juiced up, 'cause it was good and slick when I 
shoved my pecker in her. It didn't take long before I 
cum in her. It didn't seem like it had lasted near long 
enough to be worth lettin' Virgil put his peter in my 
mouth, but I knew better'n to argue. So Virgil climbed 
up and sat on the bed and had me stand in front of him 
to suck on his pecker after he seen I had cum in his 
momma.

"It was all I could do to get my lips around that big 
ole pecker of Virgil's. He grabbed me by the head and 
started shovin' it into my mouth 'til I could feel it 
in my throat. It was still only 'bout halfways in, but 
he couldn't get no more of it in me, so he started 
pumpin' it in and outta my mouth. He wasn't like me. He 
took a long time to cum. When he finally did cum, he 
squirted so much of his jizz into my mouth that I 
couldn't swallow it fast enough to keep up with it and 
some of it run out of my mouth onto his leg. He made me 
lick it offa his leg and swallow it after he took his 
peter out of my mouth. 

"Virgil said since he had to take care of his momma he 
wouldn't be goin' to school no more. He said ever' day 
when he come home that big ole diaper was so full of 
shit and piss that it took him a good hour to clean his 
momma up and change her bed. His skanky grandma 
couldn't be bothered to tear herself away from them 
fuckin' soap oper's long enough to change her own 
daughter's fuckin' diaper. She said she done changed it 
plenty when Virgil's momma was a baby and she shouldn't 
hafta do it no more durin' her 'golden years'. 

"Anyway, Virgil was already sixteen, so they couldn't 
make him go to school no more. Virgil said I could fuck 
his momma any time I had a notion to, but I'd haf to 
suck his peter after I was finished. I didn't mind 
suckin' on him all that much, but Virgil was fuckin his 
momma five or six times ever' day hisself. If I sucked 
on him after he'd already cum four or five times, his 
jizz would be kinda thin and watery like and I didn't 
much care for the feelin' of it in my mouth. So I took 
to spittin' it out or pullin' offa his pecker when he 
was about to shoot his wad. Virgil would get hoppin' 
mad and slap that big ole peter in my face like it was 
a piece of hose. It hurt like hell. I tole him I'd 
druther he put it in my ass when his jizz was runny 
like that. He said fine, but he still wanted me to suck 
on him sometimes if I cum over early. 

"Takin' that big ole thing of Virgil's up my ass shore 
was a lot differ'nt than bein' cornholed by that ole 
one armed guy. Virgil used some lotion that he was 
s'pose' to rub on his momma's body to keep her skin 
from gettin' sores on it and rubbed it all over his 
pecker. Then he greased up my ass hole with it and got 
behind me on his momma's bed and tried to shove his 
pecker up my ass. Virgil said I could lay on his momma 
and suck on her titties while he fucked me, but I 
couldn't fuck her again unless I give him some money. 

"I had already used up the ten dollars I got from the 
one armed guy, so I jest laid on his momma and sucked 
on her titties while Virgil fucked me. I thought he was 
gonna kill me when he started shovin' that big ole 
peter in me. When he finally got it in me, he shoved it 
in and out of my ass 'til I could feel his big ole nuts 
slappin' against my own. Then he took his own sweet 
time fuckin' me like he had all the time in the world. 
When he finally cum, he pumped so much of that runny 
jizz into my ass that I could feel it squishin' around 
in me when he shoved his pecker all the way in.

"When he pulled his peter outta me, my ass hole was 
stretched so much that it stayed open and a bunch of 
that jizz cum out of it and run down onto Virgil's 
momma's legs. Virgil got real pissed off and made me 
lick it offa her. I'd have druther just sucked him and 
swallowed his runny jizz than haf to lick it up with 
some of my own shit mixed in. After that, when Virgil 
fucked me, I'd real quick put my hand over my ass hole 
and keep it all in me till I got offa his momma and 
made a run for the crapper.

"Sometimes I'd get over there early enough to suck on 
Virgil before his jizz would get too runny. But most of 
the time, after I was done fuckin' his momma, he'd 
shove that big ole peter in my ass and grind away in me 
for a good half hour. 

"Virgil was s'pose' to turn his momma over on her belly 
for a few hours ever' day to keep her from gettin' bed 
sores. One day I ast him if I could fuck his momma in 
the ass. Virgil thought that was a good idea. So we 
greased her up real good and slickened up my pecker and 
I shoved it in her ass hole real easy. Virgil said she 
was real relaxed because of her condition and he'd 
never had no trouble gettin in her ass neither. Anyway, 
I started humpin' her ass and ole Virgil starts 
greasin' up my ass hole. I ast him what the fuck was he 
doin' and he said we could kill two birds with one 
stone.

"After that, ever' time I fucked his momma in her ass , 
Virgil would fuck me in the ass at the same time. If 
his jizz was already runny, he'd fuck me in the ass 
when I was fuckin' his momma's pussy too. 

"Virgil tole me one day that he didn't have no time to 
run over to see the one armed guy no more and I should 
go there twice as often to let the ole guy cornhole me. 
Virgil said he'd split with me fifty fifty, so I 
thought it was a purty good deal for both've us. The 
ole guy was a little pissed, but Virgil paid him one 
last visit and then he seemed to be okay with it. So I 
had twice as much spendin' money after that.

"Virgil was real smart. He got this real good idea 
about how him and me could make some money. He tole me 
to get a couple of sixth grade boys and bring 'em over 
to his grandma's house one night. I picked a couple 
that I knew would keep their mouths shut . One was 
named Merle and the other was named Harold. Merle was 
this skinny little rat faced blond headed runt with one 
eye that looked way over to the side. Kids in school 
called him Wall Eye. Harold was big and tough lookin' 
fer a sixth grader. He had brown hair in a crew cut and 
carried a pack of Lucky's rolled up in the sleeve of 
his tee shirt. They was both dumb as bricks. I seen the 
two of em one time swipin' candy bars and sun glasses 
and some other shit from the drug store when Mr. Willis 
was busy fillin' a perscription.

"I grabbed onto 'em when they come out of the drugstore 
and ast em if they wanted to go to jail where they fuck 
young boys or would they druther suck on my peter. They 
pissed their pants and cried and said they didn't want 
to go to no jail and get fucked. So I took 'em to where 
there was some empty train cars sittin' on a sidin' all 
abandoned and startin' to rust. We climbed up in one 
and they took turns suckin' on my pecker 'til I cum in 
Harold's mouth and made him swallow it. I took half 
what they had stole and tole them they had to split 
fifty fifty with me from now on when they stole 
somethin' or I'd see they went to jail till they was 
eighteen.

"Anyway, I took them two boys over to Virgil's 
grandma's one night when she was off playin' Bingo. 
Virgil met us at the door and tole us to come inside 
quick. When we was all inside, he ast them boys if they 
had ever seen nekid titties on a woman before. Merle 
said he hadn't. Harold said he seen his momma's titties 
when his little sister was suckin' on them, but only 
got a peep before his daddy smacked him and tole him to 
turn his head. Virgil ast if they would like to see 
some nekid titties up real close and maybe even touch 
'em. I could see they was real excited at the idea. 
They both said that would be really great and looked 
like they was afraid Virgil was just funnin' with 'em.

"Virgil tole 'em to follow him and the four of us went 
up to Virgil's momma's room. Virgil's momma was already 
nekid on top when we come into the room. Them two boys' 
eyes purty near popped outta their heads when they seen 
her big titties stickin' up with them big ole nipples 
on top. Virgil give 'em about five seconds worth of 
lookin' at her titties; then he pulled the sheet back 
up and covered em with it. He tole 'em he had give 'em 
a free look 'cause they was friends of mine. But if 
they wanted to see her titties some more or touch 'em, 
they'd haf to pay him. Both boys reached real quick 
inside their pockets and come up with three dollars and 
some change between 'em. Virgil took their money and 
said they could look at his momma's titties for three 
minutes and they could touch 'em for the last minute. 

"Harold ast Virgil if they could suck on his momma's 
titties too. Virgil tole him that suckin' cost more. He 
tole both boys to bring him their lunch money ever' 
week and they could touch his momma's titties for five 
minutes and suck on 'em for the last two minutes. 
Virgil pulled the sheet back down and both boys looked 
at Virgil's momma's titties for the next two minutes 
like they was watchin' a real good movie and couldn't 
take their eyes off it. After two minutes was gone, 
Virgil tole them to go ahead and touch his momma's 
titties, but no suckin'. They squoze on them things 
llike they was tryin' to make bread or some such. 
Harold really liked takin' hold of them big ole nipples 
and pullin' and twistin' em. Merle just liked squeezin' 
them big round titties with both of his little hands.

"When the time was up, both boys was real eager to come 
back and give Virgil their lunch money. He tole 'em to 
come back in a week and bring some other boys they 
could trust not to tell anyone. He tole 'em they didn't 
never want to find out what would happen if anyone tole 
someone about it. They both promised them or their 
friends wouldn't never tell no one and then Virgil tole 
them to beat it 'til next week. After they left, Virgil 
give me one dollar and tole me I'd get a third of what 
he got from lettin' other boys see and touch his 
momma's titties for their lunch money.. 

"Purty soon we had about fifteen boys comin' over ever' 
week to look and squeeze and suck on Virgil's momma's 
titties. Some of 'em was just little guys in the fourth 
or fifth grade and a couple was classmates of mine. 
Virgil and me was makin' out purty good by then. He was 
takin' in seventy five dollars ever' week from them 
boys' lunch money and givin' me twenty five for helpin' 
him set things up. After a bit, the two older boys 
wasn't satisfied with jest playing with Virgil's 
momma's titties. They ast Virgil if they could see his 
momma's pussy and maybe fuck her. Virgil acted like he 
was all pissed off, then he said what the hell, they 
was both friends of mine and he guessed he could make 
allowances fer 'em if they was able to come up with 
twenty dollars apiece. 

"That was what Virgil had been plannin' on all along. 
He wanted to get them fellers real int'rested so they'd 
be the ones to bring up the idea of fuckin' his momma. 
They said that was a lot of money and Virgil said his 
momma was real precious to him and he couldn't let them 
fuck her for less than fifteen dollars apiece. They 
finally agreed to pay fifteen dollars to fuck Virgil's 
momma and Virgil give 'em a free look at her pussy as a 
jester of good will. 

"When word got around secret like that you could fuck 
Virgil's momma for fifteen dollars, it got real busy at 
Virgil's grandma's house. Sometimes four or five boys 
at a time was lined up to fuck her. One night, they had 
some kind of problem with the 'lectricity at the 
Catholic church where Virgil's grandma played Bingo and 
she come home early in a real huff. She run straight to 
the refrigerator to get herself a beer. When she seen 
some boys waitin' in line on the stairs, she ast 'em 
where the fuck Virgil was and run up to find him. She 
walked in Virgil's momma's room when this geeky guy 
with curly hair and real thick glasses named Artie was 
poundin' away in Virgil's momma.

"When she seen what was happenin', she give a big 
chuckle and ast Virgil if he'd been drinkin' her 
fuckin' beer 'cause there was only one bottle left and 
she was real thirsty. Virgil tole her I'd run out and 
get her some beer from the carry out and ast her if 
she'd like me to bring her some chips or pretzels too. 
We didn't never have no trouble gettin' beer from that 
there carry out. 

"Well we was afraid all along that we'd have all kinds 
of trouble if Virgil's grandma ever found out what we 
was doin' with his momma. After she seen what we was 
doin' and didn't seem to mind none, we had boys comin' 
over purty near ever' night of the week to do one thing 
or another with Virgil's momma. We was makin' more 
money than we knew what to do with. Then Virgil's momma 
got knocked up. 

"We didn't know nuthin' about no birth control. Anyway, 
we didn't know she was knocked up 'til Virgil ast his 
grandma to look at his momma's titties. They was 
startin' to look diff'rent. They was gettin' bigger and 
them big ole nipples was gettin' kinda rough feelin and 
swole up at times. Virgil's grandma took one look at 
them titties and whapped Virgil on the head with her 
knuckle and said we'd gone and got his momma knocked 
up. She said she wasn't gonna take care of no fuckin' 
brat after his momma popped it out. We didn't need to 
worry none about that fer a good while yet. 

"When Virgil's momma's belly finally got real big, we 
had to put her on her side and pull her knees up so she 
could get fucked from behind. Virgil weren't able to 
fuck me in the ass when I was fuckin' his momma that 
way, so he'd fuck me on the floor after I cum in his 
momma. That floor was old and creaky like and it made a 
shitpot fulla noise when Virgil was fuckin me on it. 
His grandma come runnin' up one time to see what all 
the fuckin' noise was and like to bust a gut laughin' 
when she seen Virgil shovin' that big ole peter of his 
in my ass. 

"Virgil's grandma didn't want no one to find out about 
how Virgil and his friends was all fuckin Virgil's 
momma, so she got some ole woman she knowed to cum over 
when Virgil's momma was purty near ready to pop out 
that baby. That ole woman knowed what to do, and purty 
soon, Virgil had hisself a little baby sister. His 
grandma said she looked jest like Virgil's momma when 
she was a baby. She decided to name her Bonnie Lou 
after some fuckin' hillbilly singer she used to like. 
She still said she wasn't gonna take care of that 
fuckin' kid. She reckoned Virgil would haf to find 
someone to take it in. Virgil thunk on it fer a couple 
of days and tole his grandma he had a better idee.

"That Virgil was one smart fucker. He knowed this girl 
named Scarlet that him and some of his buddies used to 
fuck a couple years back when they was all in the 
eighth grade and Virgil was in the seventh grade. 
Scarlet had got herself knocked up by some tree trimmer 
that come into town and latched on to her pussy. He run 
off when Scarlet tole him about her little bundle of 
joy that was on the way. Scarlet's mom kicked her out 
of her house and Scarlet was gettin' welfare and 
stayin' in her granny's damp fuckin' basement with that 
baby.

"Virgil tole me to watch his momma and the baby while 
he run over to have a talk with Scarlet. I didn't 
figure it would do no harm if I snuck a quick fuck 
while Virgil was off talkin' to Scarlet, so I fucked 
his momma in the ass real quick and cleaned her ass 
hole good as new before Virgil cum back. That baby 
shore cried up a storm while I was fuckin' her momma.

"When Virgil come back, Scarlet and her baby was with 
him. He was a cute little fucker 'bout a year old with 
real curly hair and big blue eyes. Scarlet was a whole 
nuther story. She was real skinny and had big dark 
circles under her eyes. Her hair was all scraggly and 
she looked real pale. She mighta looked real purty if 
she had took a notion to take care of herself. 

"Anyway, Virgil tole me Scarlet was movin' in to take 
care of Bonnie Lou . Scarlet tole the welfare folks 
that Bonnie Lou was her kid an' they give her twice as 
much money as she was gettin' before. Virgil tole her 
she could keep haf of the extra money and he'd keep the 
rest. It worked out purty good. Scarlet had her a nice 
little room in Virgil's grandma's attic for her and her 
little boy and Bonnie Lou, and Virgil didn't haf to 
give his little sister away and got him some more money 
in the deal.

"After Virgil's momma popped out Bonnie Lou, her 
titties was all full of milk. Scarlet fed Bonnie Lou 
with a bottle, so Virgil and me took to suckin' that 
milk outta his momma's titties ourselfs. It tasted real 
good and it was nice and warm. When some the other boys 
seen milk leakin' out of Virgil's momma's nipples, they 
wanted some of it too, so Virgil tole 'em they'd haf to 
pay an extra dollar to suck out his momma's milk when 
they was suckin' on her titties. With Virgil and me and 
all them boys suckin on her titties and drinkin' her 
milk, her titties and her nipples got real big and they 
was always full of milk.

"Virgil didn't want to ruin a good thing, so he made 
the boys use rubbers when they fucked his momma's 
pussy. She kept on givin' milk for 'bout six months 
'til one of them rubbers musta broke and she got 
knocked up again and her milk dried up. 

"It was about that time when my daddy and Ma showed up 
and tole me we was all goin' to Texas where he had him 
a job drivin' a big oil tanker truck. I only just had 
that evenin' to say goodbye to Virgil and his grandma 
and Scarlet before we piled into my daddy's station 
wagon and headed for Houston. Virgil acted like it 
wasn't no big deal, but I could see that he was 
fightin' real hard not to cry when we was sayin' 
goodbye after he fucked me one last time. I guess ole 
Virgil was the best friend I ever had. And I never seen 
no peter even close to bein' as big as his, and I seen 
plenty of peters. Sometimes I'd catch myself thinkin' 
bout that big ole thing slidin' in and out of my ass 
hole and get kinda nostalgic like about them times.

"Virgil wasn't one for keepin in touch, but I'd hear 
from some of them other boys from time to time about 
how things was goin' for him. Ever' once in a while , 
Virgil's momma would get knocked up again and pop out 
another baby. Virgil and his grandma and Scarlet was 
rakin' in a shitload of money from them welfare folks, 
not to mention the money comin' in for his momma's 
disability. And there was always lots of new boys goin' 
over there to fuck Virgil's momma or play with her 
titties. One night one of the older boys was fuckin 
Virgil's momma when she give out this long sigh and 
shit all over the bed and died with his pecker still in 
her. Virgil cum near to killin' that boy 'til some of 
the boys still waitin' in line pulled him off and held 
him down while his grandma called the 'mergency squad. 

"Scarlet wanted Virgil to marry her, but Virgil said 
them welfare folks would stop payin' all that money if 
they got married. So they stayed together with them six 
or seven kids 'til they was all growed up and on their 
own. Then Scarlet got some kind of cancer and died the 
same year Virgil's grandma died and left everythin' to 
Virgil.

"I was passin' through that part of Ohio a coupla years 
back with a tanker truck full of gas when I seen in the 
newspaper I was lookin' at over lunch that ole Virgil 
had got hisself killed tryin' to beat a B&O freight 
train to the crossin' outside of town the night before. 
I had to be back in Houston the next evenin' , but I 
had me a few hours after I dropped off that load to run 
by the funeral home and pay my respec's. They was all 
closed up by the time I got there, but I seen a light 
on in the basement so I looked in and seen someone down 
there sweepin' up. It was my ole buddy Harold. They had 
a entrance in the back where they could bring the dead 
folks into the basement. I tapped on the door and ole 
Harold come to see who the fuck was at the door so 
late. 

"He wasn't none too happy to see me, but I showed him a 
fifty dollar bill and he let me in. I tole him I wanted 
to see Virgil's body and pay my respec's and I was 
short on time. Harold said they wasn't showin' Virgil's 
body 'cause he'd been chewed up purty good by that 
train. I tole him I wanted to see Virgil anyways and 
give him another fifty. He went over and pulled open 
this big long drawer where they kept the dead folks on 
ice 'til they got 'em ready for their loved ones to 
look at. There was this big black plastic bag with a 
zipper on top and a tag with Virgil's name on it. 
Harold unzipped it and showed me what was left of 
Virgil.

"It looked like what you might expec' to find in the 
garbage can at a butcher's shop. Ole Virgil had been 
chopped up like hamburger with bones and gristle mixed 
in and a few bigger pieces here and there. I grabbed up 
that push broom that ole Harold had been sweepin' up 
with and started stirrin' 'round in that bag with the 
handle of it. I wasn't real sure what I was lookin' for 
'tiI seen ole Virgils peter layin' there purty as you 
please without a mark on it. It was cut off real neat 
with some of them orange hairs still stickin' off it. I 
palmed that sucker while ole Harold was bent over 
pukin' and thanked him for lettin me pay my respec's. 

"Anyway, to make a long story short, you fellers ast me 
what was in this here jar and now you know. It's purty 
well pickled by now. Let me show you. Dern! This 
fuckin' thing's gettin' hard to open. Hey, fellers! 
Where you goin'? I was just fixin to get the next 
round! Come on back! 

"Haw, haw, haw! It works ever' time."

END

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The author does not condone child abuse, this story is
meant as an erotic fantasy not real life. Anyone acting
out such scenarios in "real life" can look forward to
many unproductive years getting it up the butt by a 
fellow convict in their local prison.
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Kristen's collection - Directory 44