("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._ `6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`) (_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-' _..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,' (((' (((-((('' (((( K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N _________________________________________ WARNING! This text file contains sexually explicit material. If you do not wish to read this type of literature, or you are under age, PLEASE DELETE THIS FILE NOW!!!! _________________________________________ Scroll down to view text -------------------------------------------------------- This work is copyrighted to the author © 2005. Please don't remove the author information or make any changes to this story. You may post freely to non-commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites. Thank you for your consideration. -------------------------------------------------------- Coming To Grips With My Sexuality by Billswilly (billswilly@yahoo.co.uk) *** A true story about my sexuality and how it developed from the age of 14 to present days now aged 53. (MF/M- teen, bi, exh, 1st-gay-expr) *** After reading some of the stories on the net, some of which are a real turn on but most are down right fiction, and would say that out of those that are fiction 90% are, well I would say the author needs locking up… But saying that, the story I am about to share with you is true; it's about myself. Learning about my sexuality, why I am putting pen to paper so to speak I don't really know as I have never told any one about this in all my 53 yr. on this earth. But I feel its time I did say some thing about it, and the people that read this I don't know and in turn don't know me either so this being the age of enlightenment I write this now. Well I started masturbating when I was about 14, and like all teenagers was horny all the time, but it was not a subject you would talk about in the late 1960's. You would just jerk off whenever it was needed, and for me that was at least three times a day. It would start off with the morning stiffy (you guys know what I mean). Show me a man who says he is not stiff when he first wakes up and I will show you a liar. The second jerk of the day would be around lunch time in school, well who would not be stiff after a gym lesson in a mixed class where the girls did it in their navy blue panties, remember it was the 60's and yes girls did do it like that. Well navy blue panties and breasts of all sizes some in bras but most just covered by a T-shirt bouncing up and down as they ran about was enough to turned me on, so a jerk off was needed. Then there was bed time an hour of reading before going to sleep, and the reading matter one of my collection of magazines from under the mattress. This went on for about a year till my folks moved us to another town. I was allowed to stay in my old school as it was still just about on the encashment area, but it meant a two-bus ride to get to school. This in its self was not really a problem but as it worked out it was very help full to my new hobby, that being Jerking off. For my fifteenth birthday I had been given money which I intended on spending on records. You could say that my jacking off had came up a stage, no longer was I happy in jacking three times a day but I wished someone was watching me while I did it. In today's terms you would say I was a bit of an exhibitionist, So off I go into town to buy some records, old plastic 45's were the thing of the day. While shopping around I got caught short and needed to use the toilet, so knowing where there was a public loo decided to pop in there and see if there was an empty stall. Well the one I chose there were three stalls and the middle one was empty. As I entered and locked the door dropped my trousers and Y-fronts (yes I know Y- fronts but they were the in thing in the 60's. sitting there I was reading all the things scratched on the door. Things like "Mary is a good fuck," or "If you want to get laid ring!" and so on. In the wall to my right was some paper stuck into a hole in the wall, the hole being just big enough to look through. Well after being in there for about 5 minutes the bit of paper suddenly dropped to the floor. I knew at once that it was not an accident and had been pushed out, and someone was trying to watch me. Being the way I was those days and always horny and the fact that I have wanted some one to see me jerk off. My cock which was floppy at the time started to rise. One thing I have forgotten to mention was my size, well my cock when floppy was about 3.5inchs and when erect a good 5.5 to 6inchs but boy did I have big balls well still do. My nickname in school was Bull. I got that name from the showers after rugby practice. I had the biggest balls in my year; the boys used to say they were like Bulls Balls hence the nickname Bull. Well as I was saying my cock started to rise and that meant one thing I had to pleasure myself, and the thought of someone watching me was a bit of a turn on even if it was another guy doing it. I decided to put a show on for him, being uncut and having jerked off every day for the last year my foreskin slipped back very easy and my cock head would pop out quite easy. So I started by playing with my balls, my ball sack was so big I could put three or four fingers around it and still my balls weren't squeezed tight the just hung there like a bell pendulum. I cupped one ball in each hand and stretched my ball sack then I started slowly rubbing my cock each time on the down stroke the head would pop out and on the up stroke the foreskin would cover it. After about five minutes of this pre cum was starting to leak but I did not want to cum just then so slowed down, I thought I would take a peek at what the other guy was doing so put my eye to the hole. He must have taken the hint because he leaned back and started to rub his cock it was quite a bit smaller than mine and that made me feel good also his balls were like cherries. And he was about 55 yr. old, what a dirty old man I thought spying on a teenage cock. Then had another thought well I did let him so that makes me as dirty as him, I nearly zipped up right then and leave but I was so hard by then I knew I need to masturbate myself. So I stopped watching and started rubbing again this time I knew I wouldn't stop till I cum. I had been rubbing my cock quite fast for a few minutes when some thing poked though the hole it was a scrap of paper with some writing on it as I read it I was knocked back by what it said Hi there don't cum yet, I have some thing to ask you. It was a message from the guy next door, having nothing to write with I held the paper up to the hole and motioned with my fingers as if writing. He passed a pencil through the hole and I wrote back, "OK ask away." I returned the note and pencil the same way it came. He wrote back, "I want to hold those big big balls and make that young cock cum." Christ I thought I am being picked up here, Christ I'm not a Homo (Gay). but for a laugh I wrote back "OK where when and what's it worth," I thought that would put him off. It didn't, he wrote, "You can come in here if you want." "NO," was my reply. "OK then will you come to my car with me? We can do it there." "Perhaps," I replied. All this time wild things were going through my mind should I shouldn't I. I decided to play him along and see what happened, I asked him where his car was and what did he want me to do. He said, "The car was close in the new multi-story car park, and I did not have to do any thing I did not want to, also he would give me £2 to come with him and let him feel me." Well £2 was a lot of money in those days another four singles or even a LP; today it won't buy you a pint of lager. "OK," I replied. We met out side and he told me his name was Jack, I said I'm John (not my real name) and I was 17 (another lie). We walked towards the car it was on the third floor, and to many people around so he said he would drive it up to the roof not many people parked there as it was not covered and they afraid of getting their shopping wet on rainy days, and today it was damp. On the way to the roof another four floors I asked him if he had come here with other men, he replied a couple, and that he had started doing this kind of thing since his wife had gone off sex a few years ago. "What kind of things did you do with them?" I asked. "Usually just jack each other off," he replied. "And some times we would just watch each other jack off, and once I and this other guy went a bit further." "I don't know about jacking you or going further I'm not a homo," I said. "Nor am I, I like both men and women" he told me. By now we were parking up, he parked in a corner. He was driving an old Ford with a bench seat, supposed idea for this kind of thing. He asked me if I was ok, I told him I was a bit nervous as I had never done this before. Don't worry just sit back and enjoy it, its just like jacking your self off and I bet you done that a few times, but this time it will be someone else doing the work and we can stop when ever you want. "OK," I said. "what do you want me to do first?" "Nothing," he told me. "I'm going to do everything." I leaned back in the seat as he moved closer to me; I closed my eyes as he started to undo my belt then my zipper. He pulled my trousers wide open, then he felt me through my y-fronts. "Umm that feels nice," he said, "I'm going to get him out now, ok?" I just nodded. With that he reached down the top of my y-fronts and I felt his hand touching my now hard cock, he run his hand up and down it before going lower and cupping my balls. He eased my balls and cock out over the top of my y-fronts, "god they are big and that's one hard uncut cock" he said. I opened my eyes to see him staring at my cock and balls as if trying to decide where to start. He started to feel my balls, taking one ball in each hand, then stretching them. I felt like bursting right then from the attention he was giving my balls and a little precum was starting to leak from the tip of my cock he noticed it and started to rub me up and down with a steady motion. My cock was twitching in his hand as he slowly got faster. I needed to cum so badly, I knew what I was allowing him to do was wrong but I just couldn't help it I was so horny right now. I said to him, "Faster, please go faster." He did. There I was watching this stranger my granddads age wanking me off and I really liked it. "FASTER!!" I shouted. With one hand he was pumping my hard shaft like a steam engine and with the other hand my balls were getting the treatment, being stretched, squeezed, pulled this way and that. He said to me when your ready to cum let me know I have a treat for you. Well I must say he sure did know how to jack a cock off. A few minutes later I groaned, "I'm going to cum." He stopped playing with my cock and lowered his head and placed it in his mouth, I was in heaven never in my wildest dreams had I thought I would be in a situation like this. In seconds I started to shoot my teenage seed into his mouth and he was swallowing it all, time after time my cum shot into his warm mouth so much that it started to drip from the corners of his mouth. I could feel him sucking the cum from deep inside my cock. He kept on sucking until I started to get soft. "That was good," he said. "That's the first time I have ever had a cock in my mouth." I told him that was he first time any body had ever touched me there jet alone suck me off. With a big grin on his face he said, "Well I'm sure glad to have been your first, and do you think you might try it again." I replied, "I'm not sure I always thought it would be a girl that would do that first." "So why did you come to the toilets today then," he said. "Well believe it or not to use them," I replied. He just laughed. I started to clean my self up with some tissues he gave me and watching him getting his hard cock out. "Hope you don't mind but I have to do something about this pointing to his cock," he said. "Na just carry on," I replied. "You want to help?" he asked. "No thanks," I said. It didn't take him long to cum and as he started to clean him self up he asked, "You like men watching you jerk off the?" I replied, "Yes, in fact anyone watching me is good." He went on to tell me of a few other public toilets around town that weren't used so much and a good place to see or be seen, also he told me that when you enter a cubicle if the hole is stuffed up its up to you to remove it from your side. Then if the other side is unblocked it's like an invite to look. If not, you don't normally poke it out like I did earlier on, you don't really know who is there and they could take it you're a bit of a pervert and be waiting for you out side. He continued, "I know a guy who did that and the other guy put him in hospital. I thanked him for his advice and for what he had done to me, he said It was his pleasure and any time I wanted he would do the same." ** A few weeks later I was back in town and decided to check a few of the places he told me about. The first one I was in there about 15 minutes with my side of the hole unblocked and the other cubicle had a couple of visitors but they were there not for the same reason. So I decided to try the other one out. This one was on the outskirts of town, you wouldn't really know it was there, it was rather quiet place. There were only two cubicles in this one. One was already occupied so I entered the other removed the paper blocking the hole and could see at once there was nothing blocking the hole on the other side. The only difference with this one was the walls were not so thick more like a partition wall with a gap top and bottom. Well feeling very horny at that point I knew I needed relief as soon as possible, my cock was busting to be let free. I started to slowly undo my belt them the clasp followed by really slowly pulling the zip down I could see there was an eye close to the hole and who ever was there was watching me. With my trousers now undone I let them drop to the floor standing there In a pair of white y-fronts with a bulge where my cock was screaming to get out poking the y part outwards. I started to play with myself through the material putting both my hands around my bulge making my cock and balls look even bigger. I put one hand inside and started to jerk my self for a few minutes sort of teasing the guy the other side of this thin wall. I then put a finger each side of the y- fronts and slowly started pulling them down inch by inch. First my dark pubic hair came into view then a bit of skin, I could hear what sounded like the other guy jerking, that slapping sound as your hand goes down fast against your balls. This really turned me on knowing some one is playing with himself while I tease him, and with that I pulled my y-fronts right down my ridged cock and floppy balls on full view to him. I then started to pull my foreskin back, as usual it slipped back easy. The purple head of my cock was now on display I carried on pulling my fore skin back on its self to show the root of my cock head. Then with one quick push forward the head was gone. Now over the last year I had learnt that doing this gave me immense pleasure. I was to far gone by now to care who was watching or even look at his and started jacking fast. The guy the other side said play with those balls, now this was a shock I never really spoke to any one in the toilets other than the odd message through the hole. But I did as he asked I started to play with my balls I took hold of the loose skin and stretched it upwards to cover most of my cock. Now not many men I know can do that cove their own cock with their ball sack, but remember my nick name Bull. I held it there for a minute or two then returned jacking my self off again, I cum soon after shooting load after load all over the place. Remembering what the old guy in the car told me always try to be first out, that way you can always stand back and see who comes out and they wont really know you. I revisited those particular toilets many times after that first time over the next few weeks. Some times I got lucky and there was someone to watch me, and some times not. This one day towards the end of the summer holidays. I was in my usual cubicle enjoying pleasuring myself and masturbating when some one came into the next cubicle, the paper from the other side was removed and an eye came immediately to the hole. I remember thinking he's eager, as I started my routine. I always got pleasure from knowing someone was watching and didn't really care about watching the other guy masturbate. I know I must have been selfish getting my kicks and not really caring about the other person, but I always reasoned that with at least he gets to see me jerk off and if that turns him on and gives him pleasure by doing it then know harm was being done. Well on this occasion I wanted to see what the other guy had between his legs and I was not disappointed, I stuck my eye to the hole and there was this black guy in his twenties I guessed, with the biggest cock I have ever seen. It was huge, it was cut no foreskin and like a babies hand with an orange in it. It must have been at least ten inches long, about three thick and this great big throbbing head. I watched him play with it for a while and at the same time I was rolling my balls about with my hand. Well I was shocked with what happened next he suddenly stopped rubbing him self and leaned over and put his arm under the dividing wall. I knew what he wanted, he wanted to feel me up. There was some thing about this situation that made me want to for fill his wishes. I positioned my self so that my balls sat in his cupped hand that was all the signal he needed. He expertly started playing with them so much that my ridged cock was twitching like hell, he slowly started to move his hand and feel his way around my cock, the sensation I was having was wonderful. He was flicking my foreskin with his fingers which made my cock twitch even more which he must have realised, as he started to jerk me off slowly at first then slightly faster keeping up a steady movement. This was all too much for me and I started to cum, which he caught most in his hand, but he carried on with jerking me until nothing was left. What happened next really shocked me, he removed his arm with a cum filled hand from under the wall. So I stuck my eye to the hole to see what was he going to do with my cum, then he did it. he rubbed all my cum all over his huge black cock. My white creamy cum spread like butter on bread all over his big black hard cock it was a sight to be seen and a sight I would never see or forget. Well summer holidays were over and it was back to school two more yrs and that would be over I could of left school this year but decided to stay on for two years and get some higher grades. I didn't get much chance to get into town in the following months but that did not stop me masturbating regularly, still about three times a day some times more. Christ looking back I was some horny kid. It was still two bus rides to get to school and two back, in the mornings it wasn't as bad as the connections were quite close but on the return journey there was almost a 30 minute wait for the second bus. This became a bit of a drag so I would some times walk to the next stop to waist a bit of time. At a quick walk about five minutes, dragging my feet could stretch it out to fifteen minutes. But if I walked five minutes the other way there was this rather secluded public toilets across the road were a group of about six houses, every where else were just green fields of the local farm. This one day I decided to walk back on my self to the toilets to have a jack off while waiting for my bus. Now this being sort of in the country, the toilets were made up of one cubicle and a row of three bowls. And to my surprise and I really didn't think there would be there some one had made a hole again at eye height when seated inline with the bowls. The place was very clean and ideal place to waste some time and have a good jack off. Why some one had made a hole for I did not really know, as I didn't think there would be many people using this place only passing traffic. Well almost any thing in those days would make me horny, hard and in need of release. So finding some where to enjoy my hobby (masturbating) on the journey home was ideal. For about a month I visited the toilets about four or five times a week, every school day. This one day two days before my sixteenth birthday and three days before the end of term and the start of the summer break again. I was playing Rugby for the school and didn't have a lot of time to catch my first bus, so I skipped the showers stuffing all my clothes into my bag and ran to catch my bus in my shorts and Rugby shirt. I thought I could shower when I get home. I jumped on the bus but there was standing room only, and I happened to stand by these two girls who were in their early twenties, nice looking and from what I could see great bodies, the one girl had on a rather low cut top short skirt and what looked like no bra. My eyes were glued to her, the feeling I was having in my shorts was no good as I could feel my cock starting to rise to the occasion. I tried to adjust my self but that just made things worse, it just made it stand out like a flag pole. The girls started whispering and staring at my ever increasing bulge. The girl with the tits showing looked up to me and gave me a big smile then her eyes went straight to my cock. Christ was I turned on, turned on in fact that if I didn't take care of the situation I was going to cum in my shorts. I decided it was better for me to get of the bus early so as I turned to get off the bus I let my cock through my shorts rub against her shoulder. I quickly left the bus and as it pulled off the both girls gave me a smile and blew me a kiss the girl nearest the window lifted her top and quickly flashed her tits allow covered in a bra at me, I nearly cum there and then. They had seen me staring at them and they had seen my cock growing at the sight I was viewing. I ran the mile and half to the place I knew I could relieve the pressure that was trying to release from my ever hard cock. Dam as I entered the toilets the cubicle was engaged, shit I thought I need to jerk off, and jerk off I was going to. So I whipped my cock out over the top of my shorts resting the waist band under my balls. It felt so good to just let it out of its prison. There I was stood my floppy balls now full of cum and my stiff hard cock waiting to be played with. Now I had never jacked off in the open so to speak before just in cubicles, but what needed to be done was going to be done. I thought to my self if the person in there watching me he is going to get a show, but I couldn't really care I needed relief. I glanced to the hole that I knew was there, and there didn't seam to be any thing blocking it. He was watching me now this was turning out to be a good day first the girls the flash of tits, and now some guy going to watch me jerk off. It was all I could do to stop myself cumin right there. But stop my self I did I was good at delaying it these days but knew I was going to pay for it later and have a sore cock and balls refusing their release. After what happened on the bus, seeing that cleavage, those tits, that bra, and now someone looking at my cock and balls, I knew I was going to enjoy myself come what may. I was going to tease this guy rotten, I was going to cum. I started by cupping my balls as if weighing them, stretching my ball sack as much as it would stretch and then some more. I took one ball in each hand squeezing them and pulling them to either side. After about ten minutes of this I started on my cock sliding the foreskin over the throbbing head of my cock, pulling it right back as far as it would go. It felt so good, knowing some one was watching, and that some one could walk in any time. But being in my shorts I knew I could easy flip it back in them at the slightest sound of any one coming in. I was masturbating for what seamed like ages, going from rubbing my cock slowly then fast and back to slow, cupping my balls. At one time I even turned around and flashed my arse at him by pulling my shorts down, letting them drop to the floor. Well knowing that Gays like arse from things I had heard and read, and thinking that this guy must be gay to still be there watching me. I bent over so he would get a god view of my arse with my balls dangling between my legs to pull my shorts back up. Well I didn't really want to get caught in that position if some one walked in. After what must have been a good half-hour and my bus must be due soon I decided to give him one last treat and let him finally see me shoot my load. Well I did need to cum my balls were wanting to cum to release my pent up seed. I started to rub my throbbing cock which seamed bigger than normal slowly then increasing the speed, faster and faster up and down. Then it started my cum shot its first load splashing the back of the bowl, then a second, third, fourth, fifth was it not going to stop. If it was all collected in a cup, with out a lie the cup would have been a third full. It was the most cum I had ever made, I put it down to the girls on the bus I was so turned on by seeing just a flash of tit, I knew there and then that this would be the last time I would flash a guy and any deep down thoughts that I might have been gay was ruled out. I wanted sex with a girl, no not a girl a woman. I quickly flicked the last drops of cum away and pulled my shorts back over my now softening cock and left the toilets and the guy in the cubicle to himself. I sat on the wall out side by the bus stop waiting for my bus to come hoping it would before he had finished what ever he was doing and came out. I was not as lucky as less than a minute later he was out, walk the other way I thought. Na I couldn't be so lucky he walked straight towards me, I thought to my self, nope no more cars, no he cant feel it, no I'm not going back in and no I'm not even going to talk to him. He walked right over and stood next to me he said after a few minutes. "Wow son that was some show, what a pity my wife wasn't here to see it she would of loved it." I was taken back by his remark, he was married so I guess he wasn't gay. His next remark was the biggest shock of all. "We live just across the road over there, and we've seen you coming in here most days for months. Spending fifteen to twenty minutes a time and then coming out again." He then continued, "I told the wife you were just a horny kid that needed some private time, but she just disagreed and said you were just regular with your movements." So I asked him how long they had been watching me. "A few months and most school days you're here." With that my bus came and I had a lucky escape. All that night and the following day I was in dream world mulling over what had happened the afternoon before. What he had said about his wife, wondering what she looked like. What it would have been like if it was her in there watching me, would she of liked the size of my cock. Na he was in his forties so she must have been as well, my mum was 45 and the thought of her looking at my cock was a turn off. Well today was my birthday and I was being picked up from school and taken for a meal in town I had now turned 16, it was time to put this behind me time to grow up finish my studies and get a girl friend have sex, get married and so on. But the following day last but one day before the holidays although we weren't going away any where it was six weeks off school. So I thought one last jerk off in one of my now favourite places wouldn't harm. My first bus was late which only left me with about ten minutes before my connection was due, still time for a quickie I thought as I approached the toilets. But standing by the wall was this guy again, shit that's blown it I thought I'm not going in there today. When I finally got to the bus stop he said, "Thank you." "For what?" I asked. "For yesterday. After telling the wife what I had seen and what you had done we had the best sex in years." I was really taken back by this. He went on to explain that they had always enjoyed pretending they where some one else, like dressing up, like pretending they were school teacher and school girl having sex. Or a doctor and a nurse, a nurse and her patient, a maid and her master or in fact any thing they felt like. And last night after tell his wife about me, she was the one doing the looking as he put a show on for her pretending to be me, and later as always they had sex. But last night the sex was the best in years. I told him I was glad for them both. Now with hearing this I was feeling that feeling yet again as the flag pole in my trousers was starting to grow. He looked at me then at my crouch and said, "I see you liked that idea, you not going inside today." "No I can't today need to get home as my folks where taking me out for my birthday," I replied. A small lie as it was yesterday we went out. "Your birthday, when?" he asked. "Today," I said. "What a pity I was going to ask you if you would like to come to our place and meet the wife. I believe the school holidays start soon so I take it you won't be coming this way for a while." "Yes last day tomorrow," I said. He asked me if I would like to pop in tomorrow night on the way home, I told him that I was thinking of skipping the afternoon session as we don't do a lot any way and no point being there. That's even better why not pop in tomorrow afternoon I will get Kath that's my wife to bake you a birthday cake, and we can all have a chat he told me. "How do I know you've got a wife and that she would like to meet me?" I asked. "Well that's her over there, her name is Kath and I'm Tony." I could see my bus coming around the corner, and said this is me my bus is here. With that he handed me an envelope and said don't open it till your on this bus, and if you want to come tomorrow try and be here about noon that way we can have some lunch together. OK I said as I jumped on the bus. I know I am not the best author in the world. And this might not be the best written story you have ever read but, If you like what you have read and remember this is a true story not fiction and would like to read the rest of the story please let me know. END E-Mail me at billswilly@yahoo.co.uk Thanks for reading this true story. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It's okay to *READ* stories about unprotected sex with others outside a monogamous relationship. But it isn't okay to *HAVE* unprotected sex with people other than a trusted partner. You only have one body per lifetime, so take good care of it! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Kristen's collection - Directory 34