("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._ `6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`) (_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-' _..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,' (((' (((-((('' (((( K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N _________________________________________ WARNING! This text file contains sexually explicit material. If you do not wish to read this type of literature, or you are under age, PLEASE DELETE THIS FILE NOW!!!! _________________________________________ Scroll down to view text Archive name: creative.txt (MF, MM, mf, mm, humor) Authors name: Internet Author (no address) Story title : Creative Sex -------------------------------------------------------- This work is copyrighted to the author © 2002. Please don't remove the author information or make any changes to this story. You may post freely to non-commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites. Thank you for your consideration. -------------------------------------------------------- Creative Sex (MF, humor) By Internet Author (no address) *** 1. THE RODEO - Get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach around and cup each of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, "Boy, these feel just like your sister's." Then you try to hold on for 8 seconds. 2. THE BOND - Tie your significant other up and blindfold him or her. Then invite people over to watch you having sex with your helpless partner. They might not like it as much as you, but the orgasm is really intense. 3. THE HOOVER - the hoover is performed by mounting your partner from behind and kicking out her arms while lifting her legs. Proceed to push her around the floor like a vacuum cleaner. 4. THE DONKEY PUNCH - *the* classic. It is performed while practicing the "doggie style" position. Right before climax punch your partner extremely hard in the back of her neck. This will cause her to tighten up, enhancing your climax. 5. THE FELCH - the felch is performed by placing your lips around your partner's butthole and proceeding to suck the feces out of it. 6. THE SHOCKER - the shocker is performed by inserting one of your fingers into you partner's butthole in a rotating manner. Should be done with plenty of lubrication. If you're a male, you can also add your erect penis to the equation at the same time. After all, there are two holes in your female partner. 7. THE CINCINNATI STEAMER - the cincinnati steamer is performed by squatting over you partner as she performs oral sex on you. Just before orgasm, proceed to defecate on her chest. Many girls love this. But some don't, so be sure before performing this one. 8. THE RAGING BULL - the raging bull is rather complicated. Get a bunch of friends (one with a stop watch) and put them in the closet. Then mount your partner from behind and proceed with sex "doggie-style". Let your friends out of the closet and proceed to hold on to your partner as she tries to get you off of her. Any ride lasting ten seconds should be considered successful. 9. THE PINKY - the mixture originated in Simsbury, CT. It is performed by ejaculating all over the floor. Then, have your psycho girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Proceed to mix it with your finger until you get a pink mixture. Then paint your partner's face with it. 10. THE MANDINGA - also know as the "bowling ball". The mandinga is performed by inserting your thumb and middle finger into your partner's vagina and butthole, respectively. You know if you have performed the mandinga correctly if your partner yells "Mandinga"! If she yells, "Ow!" you probably did it wrong. 11. THE NOOMSHEBAH - the noomshebah originated in Tariffville, LA. It is performed by disrobing yourself completely and jumping off a dresser yelling "noomshebah". After completing your jump, feel free to touch penises with your partner. Best performed by young boys. 12. THE BLUMPKIN - a personal favorite. The blumpkin is performed while defecating on the royal throne. Have your partner give you oral sex as you proceed to relieve yourself. If you find a woman who actually gives you blumpkin, never, ever talk to her again. She is not normal. 13. THE MAINE SPECIAL - liberally apply peanut butter to your dick. Then call over the family dog and your sister. 14. THE MUNG - obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach and try to catch as much stuff as comes out of the vaginal opening as you can in your mouth. 15. THE BOX BOY: - the "box" requires an old refrigerator box preferably in someone's secluded back yard. Cut a whole in the side facing up, big enough to stick your head out of, and then kneel down inside with your head through the hole. Your partner can suck your dick while you keep watch for any intruders. This works will with either a boy or girl cocksucker. Best performed by young people who don't have their own place. 16. THE TWO WAY BANG - Of course this takes in the help of a friend. Your woman has two holes, so why not fill them both? Ask your buddy if he's "UP" for a threesome and then surprise your wife late one night. The best time for a two way bang is after a big party, make sure wife's had a lot to drink. *** ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Please keep this work, and all erotic works out of the hands of children. They should be outside playing in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Kristen's collection - Directory 20