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Archive name: newyr08.txt (F/veggies)
Authors name: Anon Author (Ero Tek Publishing)
Story title : Cucumbers Won't Leave you on New Years Eve

--------------------------------------------------------
This work is copyrighted to the author © 1996.  Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
to this story.  You may post freely to non-commercial
"free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites.
Thank you for your consideration.
--------------------------------------------------------

Cucumbers Won't Leave you on New Years Eve (F/veggies)
By Anon Author (Ero Tek Publishing)

***
 
There are advantages to Cucumbers over your average
man...

The average cucumber is at least six inches long. Plus
with a cucumber you know what you're getting right up
front. You can always throw it back onto the grocery
table and take a bigger one.

Cucumbers stay hard for a week. And you don't have to 
tell them they're wonderful, to keep them that way.

A cucumber won't tell you that size doesn't count. 

Cucumbers don't get TOO excited TOO fast. 

A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety.

Cucumbers are easy to pick up. No time wasted playing
games.

You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket... and you 
know how firm it is before you take it home.

Cucumbers can get away any weekend. 

With a cucumber you can get a single room and you won't  
have to check in as 'Mrs. Cucumber'. 

A cucumber will always respect you in the morning. 

You can go to the movie with a cucumber and see the 
movie.

At a drive in you can stay in the front seat. 

A cucumber can always wait until you get home. 

A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn. 

A cucumber won't drag you out to a John Wayne Film 
Festival.

A cucumber won't ask: 'Am I first?' 

Cucumbers don't care if you're a virgin. 

Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin. 

Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin. 

With cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more 
than once. 

Cucumbers won't write your name and number on men's
room wall. 

Cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups. 

Cucumbers won't ask: "Am I the best you ever had?" or 
"How was it?" or "Did you come?" or "How many times?" 
 
Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski 
instructor or hairdresser.

Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate 
about your next one.

A cucumber will never make a scene because there are 
other cucumbers in the refrigerator.

A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when 
your mother comes over.

No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh 
cucumber.

Cucumbers can handle rejection. 

A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache. 

A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is. 

A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails 
are wet. 

A cucumber won't give it up for lent. 

With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry.

Cucumbers won't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on 
your chest or drool on the pillow. 

A cucumber will never give you a hickey. 

Cucumbers can stay up ALL night and you won't have 
to sleep in the wet spot.

A cucumber won't work your crossword in ink. 

A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat. 

Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car. 

A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your 
liquor. 

A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library. 

Cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest. 

A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on, or 
hairspray. 

Cucumbers won't leave dirty shorts on the floor. 

A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet. 

A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you're in 
the shower. 

With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way 
you left it.

Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold. 

Cucumbers won't tell you they liked you better with 
long hair. 

A cucumber will never leave you for another man, 
another woman or another cucumber.

You will always know where your cucumber has been. 

A cucumber never has to call 'the wife'. 

Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it 
for them. 

You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle. 

You only eat cucumbers when YOU feel like it. 

You don't have to wait for halftime to talk to your 
cucumber. 

Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom. 

Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers.

It's easy to drop a cucumber. 

A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a 
property settlement or seek custody of anything.

A cucumber won't leave town on New Years Eve. 

*

Ero Tek Publishing takes no responsibility for this adult 
material, the legality of it, or the distribution of it. 
If this is being offered for download on a BBS, the 
System Operator of that board takes no responsibility in 
this regard. These files are offered for adult amusement 
only.

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Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of the
hands of children. They should be outside playing in the 
sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.

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Kristen's collection - Directory 16