Clitorides Awards: FAQ

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This page contains a lot of information you may or may not have ever wanted to know about the Clitorides Awards. In the event that your inquiry is not answered here, feel free to e-mail the moderator and he (Kenny for the Silver Clits) or she (Souvie for the Golden Clits) will be sure to get back to you as soon as possible.
What ARE the Clitorides Awards?	Eligible Stories	The Nominating Process
Voting	The Presentation	Images

WHAT ARE THE CLITORIDES AWARDS?

Q. What good are Clitorides Awards? Isn't this just another popularity contest?

A. The "Silver Clitorides Awards" were created as a monthly adjunct to the Golden Clitorides Awards, which were created by Maria Gonzales and John A and currently run by Souvie (in the absense of Rui Jorge) with the purpose of helping promote good stories and good authors, and, at the same time, stroking the ego of the authors. :)

It was also suggested that there is a dearth of "acceptable reviewers", and the various awards serve to spotlight stories that someone felt were worthy of a read. (Maria herself stated that this was one of her chief goals) :-)

Q. Why "Clitorides?" And what are clitorides, anyway?

A. Without going into the Great Debate over pornography versus erotica versus literature versus story telling versus you name it, these are awards for ADULT fiction. We needed an ADULT word to signify that. I wasn't present for the debate over the name, but I'm happy with the choice.

The word "clitorides" is simply a plural of the word "clitoris."

Q. Who the hell is this "Maria Gonzales" you keep mentioning?

A. You never heard of Maria Gonzales??? What are you, some kind of hermit?! Try to picture the most beautiful, most gorgeous, sexiest brunette Latina you have EVER laid your eyes on. Talented, witty, enticing... got that image in your mind? Got it? Okay, that's Maria dancing topless on the table with her. Yeah, the short one.

(Drum riff with rim shot) Seriously, Maria is an intelligent, charming woman who is chiefly responsible for instiga... initiating the Golden Clitorides Awards among other things. Visit her website - you'll be glad you did. It's at /~MariaGonzales/.

Q. What does Jane's Sex Guide say about the Clitorides Awards?

A. Jane says: "This is a great idea for a site! Basically, this is a place where you can nominate and vote for your favorite story published on the internet. The story has to be new (just published for the first time that month) and must be on a freely accessable website or newsgroup. The current nominees and all past winners are listed on the site, with links to where you can read them. Winners become eligible to face off for the Golden Clitoride Award. Nomination and voting is accomplished through a simple online form. Nice site, and no clutter. This is a great place to go if you want a list of well written stories to choose from! - Vamp"

ELIGIBLE STORIES

Q. What kinds of stories are eligible?

A. The Golden Clits have many categories, two of which are for the authors rather than the stories.

The Silver Clits have only one category - Best Story of the Month. Any story published on the internet in a freely accessable website or newsgroup for the first time during the month in question is eligible. It is assumed that the story will have some erotic or sexual appeal, or why would they want this award?

There is no prohibition against long stories or serials which have the FINAL chapter published during the month. If a story, poem, or song would be eligible for nomination for the Golden Clitties, it is eligible here. Regretfully, stories which are "in progress" can't be accepted until the final chapter is published.

Q. What about stories at pay sites?

A. Maria states that the key is "freely accessable" on the net and free portions of pay sites are not excluded. Stories for which the reader must pay are not eligible. Should the story be published outside the pay site, however, as many pay sites allow after a contract period, then yes, unless the free period is a ploy.

THE NOMINATING PROCESS

Q. So how do I nominate a story for the annual Golden Clitorides Awards?

A. Souvie is handling the awards for 2005. After that, well.... we'll take it one year at a time. For now, nominations for either of the Best Author or any of the other story categories of the Golden Clitorides Awards from the first day of the month following the previous year's Presentation (target date 15 August) until 31st day of of the following July. Use the handy Nominating Form or if that fails, send your nominations to: [email protected]. Be sure to make the subject, "Nomination for the [FITB (year)] Golden Clitorides Awards".

Please include the categories, Title(s), and author(s), as shown on the Nominating form.

Although not required, a link to the story will always be appreciated, as will one to the author's web site if they have one. This is especially true if the story is published on a web page rather than through a newsgroup. Souvie will try to provide links on the nominations page so that others can read the story and decide if they want to second the nomination and/or vote for it. For example:

Q. So how do I nominate a story for the monthly Silver Clitorides Awards?

A. Nominations for Best Story of the Month will be accepted from the first day of the month until noon (EST) on the 5th of the following month. Kenny runs the Silver Clits now. Send your nominations to him at: [email protected].

Please include the month, Title(s), and author(s), or use the Nominating form.

Although not required, a link to the story will always be appreciated, as will one to the author's web site if they have one. This is especially true if the story is published on a web page rather than through a newsgroup. He'll try to provide links on the nominations page so that others can read the story and decide if they want to second the nomination and/or vote for it. For example:

From: 
      (Your email address)
  To: [email protected]
      (Use the link if the form doesn't work.)
Subj: Nomination for the month of 

Title, author, link (optional/deeply appreciated)
   Title, author, link(optional)
    I would like to nominate the following stories:
    "The Alien Cheerleading Bikini Sluts Overcome" by Rich Ardshon, http://www.hornystories.wank/Ard_on/wank.txt

    "The Alien Cheerleading Bikini Sluts Come Over" by Rich Ardshon, http://www.hornystories.wank/Ard_on/wankagain.txt

    "The Alien Cheerleading Bikini Sluts Series" by Rich Ardshon, at http://www.storiesonline.net

    Thank you,
    Gary's Muse's Sockpuppet

Kenny will do his best to ackowledge every nominating e-mail. The number of nominations for a story affects its standing as a finalist. If you don't get an acknowledgement within 72 hours, you may wish to resubmit.

Q. Can I nominate more than one story?

A. You can nominate as many eligible stories as you like, provided that you nominate each story only once. Please don't nominate the same story ten times in one month (nine of them will be thrown away). If you like a story that has already been nominated by someone else, by all means nominate it yourself - the three-to-six Most Nominated stories become finalists.

Q. Okay, my favorite stories got nominated. How do they become finalists?

A. The three most-nominated stories become finalists. It may not be obvious, but three stories might get 20 nominations each, and twenty stories might get one each. In that case, the 20 stories are tied for the fourth finalist position and all 23 stories will be finalists.

If the above is a prevalent condition, the issue will be revisited.

Q. What if I got nominated and I want to withdraw from the awards?

A. Non-participation is the prerogative of any author. The author's wishes will be respected.

VOTING

Q. How do I know if my nominee became a finalist?

A. Kenny will update the website to indicate the selection of finalists on or around the fifth or sixth or seventh of the following month, allowing those five days for folks to read stories (and nominate them) at the end of that month. He also will post a notice in the newsgroup alt.sex.stories.d. Even if you have no news reader, or aren't interested in usenet, you can see the announcement via Google Groups.

Q. Okay, my favorite story became a finalist. How do I vote for it?

A. Send one (1) email to:

Silver Nominees ([email protected]), or use the Voting Form.

For example:

From: 
      (Your e-mail address)
  To: [email protected]
      (Use this link if the form fails)
Subj: I vote for:
      The Alien Cheerleading Bikini Sluts Overcome
          by Rich Ardshon
      The Alien Cheerleading Bikini Sluts Come Over
          by Rich Ardshon
      The Alien Cheerleading Bikini Sluts Series
          by Rich Ardshon
      The Story I Never Wrote
          by Lisala
      Naked Through the Snow
          by Sailor Jim
      Boingy, Boingy, Boingy
          by Sailor Jim

Kenny will do his best to ackowledge every voting e-mail. If you don't get an acknowledgement within 24 hours, you may wish to resubmit.

THE PRESENTATION

Q. Hey, who won? How do I find out?

A. The Winner will be announced here in this website (on that month's page) and on ASSD and ASS via ASSM. Kenny will also try to inform the winner via e-mail.

In keeping with the traditions established by Rui and Maria, Kenny will try to make the presentations amusing, if somewhat less formal then the traditional banquet. :)

IMAGES

Q. Who did the artwork?

A. Gary Jordan did some initially, and Rui did some a bit better. Rui's artwork is used almost exclusively now (except for all these man in boat pics). It may change again while you're not looking. [Gary would especially like to thank Rui for the image of "Argent Tina", as I have christened her.] :)

Q. Can I use the images on my site?

A. Short answer: yes. But since image files are a huge and costly bandwidth drain on ASSTR, the images are served from elsewhere. If you have a site on ASSTR, you should also serve the images from their source.

The following images are hosted at AOL: http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images.htm
Using these links will not use ASSTR bandwidth.

The Silver Clitorides Awards Nominee Banner (GIF)

The Silver Clitorides Awards Finalist Banner (JPEG)

The Silver Clitorides Awards Finalist Banner (GIF)

Winner's Images:

<a href="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0312csff.jpg"><img src="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0312csff.jpg" width="200" height="150" alt="certificate suitable for framing" /></a>
December, 2003

<a href="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0401csff.jpg"><img src="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0402csff.jpg" width="200" height="150" alt="certificate suitable for framing" /></a>
January, 2004

<a href="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0403csff.jpg"><img src="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0403csff.jpg" width="200" height="150" alt="certificate suitable for framing" /></a>
March, 2004

<a href="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0404csff.jpg"><img src="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0404csff.jpg" width="200" height="150" alt="certificate suitable for framing" /></a>
April, 2004

<a href="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0405csff.jpg"><img src="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0405csff.jpg" width="200" height="150" alt="certificate suitable for framing" /></a>
May, 2004

<a href="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0406csff.jpg"><img src="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0406csff.jpg" width="200" height="150" alt="certificate suitable for framing" /></a>
June, 2004

<a href="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0407csff.jpg"><img src="http://members.aol.com/silvernominees/images/SCA0407csff.jpg" width="200" height="150" alt="certificate suitable for framing" /></a>
July, 2004

P.S. Suggestions for improvements are cheerfully accepted and will be discussed in the newsgroup Alt.Sex.Stories.D {ASSD}.

Gary Jordan (with slight changes by Souvie and Kenny)

The Clitorides Awards

Frequently Asked Questions and Frequently Questioned Answers :)

Winner's Images:

Frequently Asked Questions
and Frequently Questioned Answers :)