"I had the weirdest dream last night!"

The girl picked up her candy-cane hot chocolate in both hands and took a big drink, her dark eyes looking over the paper cup at the man across the table from her, dark curls cascading around her round brown-cheeked face. He looked right into her eyes, clearly mesmerized. She loved it when he looked at her like that.

"You had a dream?" he said.

"Yeah, well, at least I think it was a dream. I mean, it must have been, but it seemed so real."

"What happened?"

"This guy came into my bedroom," she replied.

"A guy came into in your bedroom?"

"Yeah. Weird, huh? It's like he just appeared, out of nowhere."

"Very weird!"

"And he's like, 'Be not afraid,'" she said, mimicking the stranger's voice with a low, affected tone.

"Really? He said 'Be not afraid?'" He used the same tone.

"Yeah. It was so weird! I mean, seriously, who talks like that?"

"Weirdos, that's who!"

She laughed, and he smiled. Her laugh always made him smile.

"So of course I was terrified after he said that," she said with a giggle.

"No kidding." He was leaning forward, smiling dreamily like he always does when he's with her, and listening intently to her story.

"And then he's like, 'You're gonna have a baby.'"

"What? Really? He said that?"

"I know, right? How am I gonna have a baby?"

"Well, I suppose the normal way," he answered with a grin.

She gave him an exasperated look, her thick pretty red lips pursed together. "You know what I mean. I'm only twelve. And I don't even have a boyfriend."

"That's crazy. If I were your age I'd totally want to be your boyfriend."

She settled down into her chair, lifting the candy-cane hot chocolate to her mouth. "I'd rather have an older boyfriend," she said, grinning as she watched his face go red. She loved how easy it was too make him all flustered. It was so cute!

"Nah," he stammered, "you don't want an older boyfriend. You can't trust 'em."

"No? Why not?"

"'Cause they only want one thing!"

"Oh? What's that?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"No I don't, I'm only twelve! Tell me!" God it was so cute, the way he squirmed!

"Ask your parents," he answered.

"They don't tell me anything. You tell me!"

His face was bright red. He looked around uncomfortably at the tables nearby them at the coffee shop, then lowered his voice. "Sex."

"Huh?" she said, much louder than him.

"They just want sex," he said in practically a whisper. "That's all older boys want. Sex."

The girl giggled. "So? That sounds like fun!"

"Yeah, sure, until you get pregnant."

"Well, that's what this guy in my room said was gonna happen, right?"

"Right. Weird!"

"And I'm like, 'You're crazy. I've never even had sex before.' And he goes, 'God's gonna put a baby in you.'"

"What?!?"

"Seriously! That's what he said!"

"Weird!"

"I know, right?"



-------------------



That night, Joseph Johnson was having the most fantastic dream. Little Maria was naked, laying on her pretty bed, and he was fucking her, his big thick grown-up cock driving in and out of her gushing little preteen pussy. Oh god yeah!

Suddenly he was startled awake, his wonderful dream a fast-fading memory. In front of him, at the foot of his bed, was a man. A very big man, tall and handsome and dressed all in blazing white. There seemed to be a radiance emanating from the man, some strange internal glow, as if he was somehow creating light from within himself. It was hard to even see his face, he was shining so bright.

Joseph scrambled to sit up in his bed. "What the fuck?!? Who the fuck are you?"

"Be not afraid," the man said in a low, booming voice that reverberated throughout the room.

What? Did he just say 'Be not afraid?' Joseph thought to himself. That's the same thing that Maria told him the strange man in her room had said to her! Christ, I must still be dreaming. How did this bastard manage to interfere with my beautiful dream?

"I am the angel Gabriel," the big glowing white dude said in the same booming voice.

"An angel?" Joseph said. "Go away, get out of my dream! Where's Maria? I was just about to cum!"

"You are not dreaming now!" the man with the booming voice said. "Don't you fucking humans believe in anything anymore? It's all the fault of the public schools with their science bullshit, you know. I'm an angel, and I'm very real. Get the fuck over it."

"If you're an angel, why don't you have any wings?"

"Fuck the wings!!!" The glowy man hollered, his voice so loud that it shook the walls of Joseph's bedroom. "That's all the fault of that little fucker Michaelangelo and those cute little cherubim he painted on the ceiling of the goddamned Sistine Chapel. Angels aren't fat little kids and we don't have fucking WINGS!"

"Okay!" Joseph said, shrinking away even further against the back wall behind his bed. "Jesus Christ, settle down. You seem to have anger management issues."

"I'll show you anger management, you little shithead!" the man shouted. He suddenly grew, from his already large size to unbelievably enormous, ten feet tall or more. His eyes glowed a fiery red and the tips of his fingers turned to fire. Joseph scrambled back further, like he was trying desperately to disappear into the wall. Then the man's face calmed somewhat and he shrunk back down to "normal" size again.

"Sorry," the man said. "The Boss is always telling me I gotta stop scaring the humans."

"Christ! What the fuck are you? An alien or something?"

"No I am not an alien for god's sake!" His fingertips lit on fire again. "Damn," he said, "sorry. Settle down, Gabe--where's your happy place? Remember your happy place, Gabe. Ah, yeah," his voice quieted and took on a dreamy tone, "me and Michelle at our lake cabin, catching trout... Alright. I'm better. It just drives me nuts that you stupid humans are willing to believe in aliens from outer space, but not in a goddamned angel, you know?"

"I can see why that makes you angry."

"Thanks for understanding, dude. And please don't mention the goddamned wings again, okay?"

"You got it, I promise."

"Thanks. You seem like a good fellow, I can see why the Boss chose you. So now, where was I?"

"I think you were at 'Be not afraid.'"

"Ah, right. Be not afraid!" The last words were particularly booming and echo-y.

"You know, just some constructive criticism here," Joseph said. "If you don't want people to be afraid of you, shouting out 'Be not afraid' in a great big other-worldly voice probably isn't a very good approach."

The man's eyes flashed angry red, but he restrained himself. "Your opinion is noted," he said. "Maybe you'll be able to fill out a review at my next performance evaluation."

"I'd be glad to."

"Angels don't have performance evaluations, you moron! Don't you know sarcasm when it's fucking staring you in the face?"

"Maybe you should have performance evaluations, given the way the whole Lucifer thing turned out."

"Jesus, don't talk about to me about that fucker. I keep telling the Big Guy to let me go nuclear on his shit. Me and my posse would turn him to mincemeat, you know? But no, the Boss is all like, 'Humans have to have free will' and shit. Like who the fuck cares about that? Anyway, you keep distracting me. I'm a busy man, you know? Let's get this done." He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. "Let's see..." His index finger rolled down the paper, singing it slightly. "You're Joseph, right? A carpenter?"

"Yep."

"Really? Humans still have carpenters? I thought everything was made by a machine in the Philippines these days and was 'some assembly required.'"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"You chose the wrong profession, dude!"

"No kidding. It's mostly coffins, to be honest."

"Shit, coffins? That's all Lucifer's fault, you know, the whole death thing. Anyway, I got the right dude. Alright, let's see." He looked at the paper again. "Oh, yeah..." He cleared his throat and started reading from the paper in his boomy echo-y voice. "Behold, the virgin will give birth..."

"Virgin?"

"Yeah... He means that girl Maria you're so hot for."

"Maria? I'm not hot for Maria."

The angel lowered the piece of paper and looked at Joseph, incredulous.

"Okay, maybe a little," Joseph conceded.

"...and his named shall be called 'Emmanuel...'"

"Emmanuel? Okay, I've always liked that name, but really it's up to her what she wants to name her baby, right?"

"Up to her? Not when the fucking LORD God is the father. He gets to choose the damned name if He wants!"

"Yeah, she said you told her that God was going to knock her up."

"Exactly, dude. That's pretty cool, huh?"

"Um..."

"It's a great honor for a girl, and all that shit, right? To be the mother of God."

"I suppose. But she wouldn't be the mother of God, would she? Wouldn't she be the mother of God's baby, not the mother of God?"

"Yeah, you'd think. But just wait, you crazy humans are going to come up with the wacky idea of the Trinity soon."

"The Trinity? What's that?"

"Eh, forget it. You're distracting me again."

"Okay..."

The angel folded up the piece of paper and stuffed it back in his pocket. Then he sighed and sat down on the foot of Joseph's bed.

"Here's the thing, though. See, the Big Guy gets these crazy ideas in His head, you know? And it's up to us, His minions, to carry them out. You follow me?"

"Sure, that's why a guy has minions, I suppose."

"Yeah, I guess. But believe me, sometimes it sucks to be a minion, you know? Anyway, it's like this: Are you familiar with the expression 'God has no hands, except your hands?'"

"No."

"Okay. Well, it means something like, if you want God to do something, like, I don't know, save people from a burning building, or feed the poor, or whatever, well then, you gotta do the work, because the only hands God has are your hands."

"God doesn't have hands?"

"Of course He has hands!"

"Then that doesn't make any sense."

"I know, don't blame me, I didn't make up the expression. Some stupid human did. But I think you're missing the point."

"What is the point?"

"Well, in this case, you could say, 'God doesn't have a dick, except your dick.' You follow me?"

"God doesn't have a dick?"

"I'm not at liberty to comment on the state of the Big Guy's sex organs, okay?"

"So he doesn't have a dick."

The angel's eyes went fiery red again. "Is it really that hard to figure out what I'm saying?"

Joseph narrowed his eyes, looking at the angel. "Well, I think what you're trying to say is, if Maria's gonna to have God's baby, I gotta have sex with her."

"Bingo. Maybe you're not as dumb as you look."

"And what if I don't think she should have God's baby?"

"Then I guess I gotta go find somebody else to fuck her. And you won't get to pop her preteen cherry, which I know you want to do. Here's your chance, moron. Don't blow it."

"What about sperm? Does God have sperm? Or are we talking my sperm, too?"

"Your sperm."

"Then it's my baby, right? Not God's."

"Look, I don't want to get into a theological debate with you, okay? We could talk all day about miracles and incarnation and how it all happens, but, frankly, that's all beside the point. If the Big Guy wants this girl to have His baby, then we just do our part, and let Him take care of the details. And take all the credit, too. That's how it works, you follow me?"

"I guess."

"And in this case, you get to fuck a cute twelve year old. So don't fucking complain, okay?"

"But it'll still be my baby, right?"

"Stop getting so hung up on that, dude. Fine, if you want to look at it that way, I won't argue with you. I'm tired of arguing with heathen. Just pretend then, okay? Just tell everybody she's still a virgin and you didn't fuck her but you're such a nice guy you're gonna take care of the baby anyway."

"Okay..."

"Oh, and this little conversation, it's just between you and me, okay? Don't let the Big Guy know it isn't His sperm, okay?"

"Really?"

"Sure. He thinks He's all 'Mr. Virile,' and you definitely don't want to be the one that tells Him He ain't."

"Alright. So, you're telling me I gotta go have sex with Maria, because God's got some crazy hair-brained idea."

"Yep, you got it. May as well fuck her a lot, too, just to make sure you put that baby in her."

"But what if she doesn't want to do it? Am I supposed to rape her or something?"

The angel just started at Joseph for a second. "Holy Christ, you humans are so clueless."

"Huh?"

"The chick is hot. She's ripe as hell, and she seriously wants to jump your bones."

"What? You're crazy. She's just a kid! I'm like almost three times as old as her!"

Gabriel shook his head in disbelief. "Trust me, dude. I've been down this path a few times. Back in the good ol' days, guys a lot older than you would fuck girls younger than her, and nobody had any problem with it, especially not the girls. Just go and tell her you want to fuck her, and she'll spread those pretty legs open wide in a heartbeat."

"I don't know..."

"Look, dude, I gotta go. I got a million things on the 'to do' list today. You just do your part, okay? If I gotta come back here again 'cause you aren't doing what you've been told, I'm gonna be really fucking pissed off, you understand?"

"Okay..."

"Alrighty then. Have fun, homes. Get yourself some preteen pussy, and lots of it. You want to make sure you fuck that baby into her good, you hear me? And no need to feel guilty about it, it's God's work. Good talking with you, see you later."

And he just disappeared. Not even a puff of smoke. Just disappeared.



-------------------



They stopped at the Starbucks again when he was giving her a lift home from school, as he did most days when her parents were working. Maria got the candy-cane hot chocolate again.

"So, I have a weird story to tell you," he said.

"Yeah?"

"I had a strange visitor last night."

"No way!"

"Yep. At first I was pretty sure it was a dream, but now I'm not so sure."

"That's exactly how I feel!" she said.

"Anyway, it was the same guy that you saw, for sure. He was totally like, 'Be not afraid.'" He used the affected mimicking voice again, and Maria giggled in response.

"Really?!?" she said. "'Be not afraid?'"

"Yep."

"And did he tell you I was gonna have a baby and shit?"

"Yep. God's baby."

"Weird!"

"And that's not all. He told me..." Joseph lowered his voice to a near-whisper. "He told me that God doesn't have a dick, I guess."

"Huh?" she said, looking confused.

"Yeah, so... Well, forget it, it's crazy."

"No, what?"

"Well, he said that since God doesn't have a dick, he needs me to use mine. Or something like that."

"Use your dick?!?"

"Yeah. Look, I know this is crazy. Forget about it, okay?"

"So God, like, wants you to have sex with me?"

"I guess. I mean, I'm not sure he really wants me to, but it's how it's got to happen. I mean, if it's ever gonna happen."

"When?"

"When...? What do you mean, 'When?'"

"When are we gonna have sex?"

"What? You mean, you want to? You want to do it?"

"We could go to my house right now. My parents won't be home for like another hour."

"Are you serious, Maria?"

"Yeah! What, you don't want to?"

"Of course I want to! It's just..."

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence. The girl had already picked up her schoolie backpack and was heading out the door.





"Come on! Hurry up!" Maria said, dragging Joseph by the hand up the stairs to her bedroom. "We gotta hurry, before my parents get home!"

"Slow down!" he said. "A girl's first time should be special."

"Screw that," Maria said, still dragging him along as she flung the door to her bedroom open. "I've waited my whole life for this! It can be 'special' the next time!"

"Maria..." he said, his words caught in his mouth as he stared around her room. He'd never been in her room before, but he suddenly had an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. It was exactly like the room in his dream the night before, a fascinating mix of the paraphernalia of little girldom: a dollhouse against the wall, stuffed animals posed intentional on a little bed that was covered in a frilly light pink bedspread--incongruously combined with signs of the occupant's burgeoning adolescence: posters of shirtless tattooed hip-hop stars on the walls, cheerleader pom-poms in the corner, a bra laying on the floor.

"What do we do?" She was already kicking her shoes off. "Should we get naked? Hurry!"

"Um, sure..." he said, starting to unbutton his shirt. Maria didn't take the time to unbutton hers. She just pulled it off over her head, revealing a little pink bra.

"See?" Joseph heard a booming echo-y voice say from behind him, by the door. "I told you the girl was ripe for the picking!"

"What are you doing here?" Joseph said over his shoulder at the newcomer.

Maria looked around behind him to see who he was talking to, as she slipped her skirt down over her hips.

"Oh, it's you," she said to the angel.

"Be not afraid!" he boomed.

Maria rolled her eyes and shook her head in Joseph's direction.

"Go away, asshole," Joseph said to the angel. "Give us some privacy!"

"Are you nuts?" the angel Gabriel said. "A girl's maiden performance is a beauty to behold. I wouldn't miss this for the world!"

"So you're gonna watch us?" Maria said, her skirt now a pile on the floor.

The angel grinned and nodded.

"Whatever," the girl said dismissively. "Hurry up, Joseph!" She reached behind her back to unfasten her little bra.

Joseph had pulled off his undershirt and was fumbling with excited nervousness at his belt. His cock was already straining painfully against the confines of his trousers, but when that little pink bra came off, it sprang to full attention, tenting up inside his pants. Maria's brown skin was the perfect color for her two creamy pale breasts, little handfuls, and her dark pink nipples stood up proud and prominent, topped with pin-prick nubs. They were so beautiful, even the angel Gabriel let out an admiring echo-y gasp.

A second later her panties joined her skirt on the floor, and the adorable girl was wearing nothing at all but a pair of frilly white ankle socks. She climbed immediately onto her little bed. "How do you want me?" she asked Joseph, who'd finally managed to unbutton his pants and was rapidly joining her in a state of complete undress.

"On your back with your legs spread eagle would be fine," came a booming echo-y answer from the doorway.

"Excuse me, asshole," Joseph said to the angel as he dropped his drawers. "The girl's question was directed at me."

The angel just gave a lecherous grin. "I think you'll be pleased with the result of my suggestion," he said, nodding in the direction of the bed.

Well, that much was certainly true. The sweet twelve-year-old was laying on her back on the bed, her legs spread wide open. Her skinny thighs were the same creamy-chocolate of her breasts, and they focused Joseph's attention up, and in, to her little pussy, dark pink chubby lips dusted with tiny black curls.

"Just look at that vertical smile!" the angel boomed. "Have you ever seen anything so inviting before?"

Joseph hadn't, to be sure, but still... "Would you just shut up?" he said to the angel. "I don't think I'll be able to perform, with your incessant running commentary."

"Who are you kidding, dude? You're so horny you'll pop off in fifteen seconds once you're inside her!"

"That sounds nice," the young girl said. "Come on, Joseph! Hurry! Put your baby in me!"

"God's baby," the angel corrected her in his booming voice.

"Right, whatever," she said. "Come on, Joseph!"

Joseph climbed onto the bed and took his place between her spread-open legs. She smiled at him, her brown cheeks red. "I'm yours," she whispered. "Take me."

Joseph gripped his cock with his hand and directed it down to her. He felt the warmth of her virgin pussy welcoming him inside her; she felt the sting of his thickness forcing its way into her. He moaned, she groaned. His cock bowed against the strength of her seemingly impenetrable hymen and he lessened up the pressure against it, then redoubled his effort, gripping his cock tight to give it added strength and pushing in hard. The poor virgin arched her back, her eyes rolling up in their sockets and her mouth open, groaning in pain.

By the fourth time he'd assaulted her defenses with his battering ram, he began to wonder if he'd ever be able to penetrate her inner sanctum.

"Let's go, dude," the angel boomed. "Haven't you ever fucked a virgin before?"

"Yes, I have, but I've never encountered a cherry quite this hard to pop."

"Well, hurry the fuck up" the angel responded. "I'm already late for a meeting. Stop being so damned gentle, I'm sure the Big Guy put some sort of protection on her virtue. The only way you're gonna get through that is to just fuck it into submission."

Joseph's heart was pounding hard now, hot blood flowing through his body. He was reduced at this moment to nothing more than a sex-crazed maniac, and he just lay down fully on the little girl and started ramming away. Eventually he felt her thick membrane give up its stubborn defense, a little hole tearing open in the taut flesh. His cockhead continued to batter away, driving into the hole now, the girl groaning the entire time. Finally he managed to open the hole enough that he could slide in through it, two inches deep, back and in three inches, then four...

Maria writhed beneath him, painful groans turning into lustful moans as the young thing finally got to have cock inside her for the first time in her anxious life. The pain, while not forgotten, was almost instantly replaced with waves of orgasmic pleasure.

And for poor Joseph, well, the angel's words about him popping off prematurely proved sadly prophetic. He was so supercharged from the effort to conquer her virginity that he had little subtlety left in his love-making repertoire, and while he perhaps lasted longer than the predicted fifteen seconds, it certainly wasn't a minute before his aching cock stiffened and his ardent balls clenched and he unleashed his seed into her in a series of enormous pumps of semen that drown her fertile little womb with sperm.

Maria shook and moaned with unmistakable pleasure as she felt the warmth of his ejaculation fill her twelve-year-old body full, until she was overflowing with cum.

The angel Gabriel clapped his approval. "Well done, you two!" he said. "I've gotta run, but you two should definitely do it again. Remember to fuck as often possible, so we can make sure that baby is in that little womb."

"We will, Mr. Angel," Maria said.

"I don't think we have time to do it again today," Joseph said. "Her parents will be home soon."

"Oh, about that," the angel boomed. "I'll make sure they get stuck in a traffic jam when I'm heading out of town. That's the sort of thing I'm very good at. You'll have all the time you want. Now let's get to work, kids. It's baby-making time!" And he disappeared.

"What do you think?" Joseph said gently to the little girl. "Are you too sore? Or would you be up for doing it again?"

"Whatever you want to do, my lord," she said with a red-cheeked smile.

"Your lord?"

"Yes," she said softly. "It seems like the right thing to call a victorious conquerer, don't you think?"

"Yes, my lady, I do."

"And since you're the conquering lord, I'm entirely at your mercy."

"Well, we are supposed to make a baby, aren't we? It's been decreed by God!"

"It has," she said. And she spread her legs open again.

Because Joseph knew now, thanks to the angel Gabriel, that they had plenty of time before her parents got home, he was determined to make it special for the girl this go-round. I gotta remember to thank ol' Gabe, he thought to himself. He's not such a bad guy after all.

He started by kissing her, and kissing her, and kissing her some more. Five minutes of nothing but kisses, lips and tongues conjoining. Then he moved down, down to her brownish-pink nipples, each of the little sweeties getting his undivided attention, sucks and licks and nibbles. They tasted wonderful. Like little candied flowers. Then he moved down again, down further, down her thin chocolate belly until his face nestled between her thighs, where his mouth and his tongue made love to her.

Her wine poured forth from her like a sacramental font, infused with the lingering taste of her torn virginity and his own cum, and with the essence of flowers. Candied flowers. Her blossom opened and he lapped at its nectar. As his tongue slid into her, past her now-conquered hymen and into her depths, she began to quake, her brown skin becoming the color of a prized rose: dark and pink, subtle and beautiful.

She put her hands gently on her lover's head and, as he lifted his eyes to look at her, she sang out, "Fuck me, Lord! Fuck me and make a baby inside me!"

Joseph sat up and took her hips into his strong hands, turned her over onto her hands and knees, and mounted her from behind. She cried out as he drove in, overwhelmed by the surprisingly powerful and spiritual feeling of being filled with the majestic fullness of her lover. This, she knew, was what she had wanted her whole life! What she had waited for with such impatience for twelve long and lonely years! And so she gave herself fully to him: a young girl, open, willing, welcoming.

She was a small thing in his hands. Really only a child; young, unassuming, even, I dare say, unremarkable in a sea of other more beautiful and more voluptuous women who regularly give themselves to men like Joseph. And yet to him, she was everything. She was the entire world.

And she was even more than this, at least if you are a believer in such things; for you see, the story goes, she had been called upon by the Most High to play an essential role in the salvation of the human race. The humble girl's soul magnified the Lord, if such a thing is possible. If it is even conceivable.

Joseph, for his part, did his duty in this story as well, his cock transformed into a divine staff, driving with unrelenting passion, building gradually to heavenly climax through fifteen minutes of raw ball-slapping, girlcum gushing sex. And as the two lovers felt their orgasms building together in a unison crescendo, a strange and wonderful light descended upon the room.

Their minds were filled with passion, there really wasn't a synapse between them devoted to any other thought than their love, not any other action than their sex. So it's possible that this light that was filling the room was nothing more than a chemical reaction in their sex-addled brains. Orgasm incarnate, you might say.

It's also possible that it was something else. I think it would be best for me to leave that up to you to decide.

But had you been there as witnesses, you might have heard a kindly voice. A man's voice. No, a woman's voice. No, a child's, or maybe the bark of an animal of some sort. Or perhaps it was nothing at all, I can't really say. But as Maria cried out in orgasmic passion, as Joseph lifted his head to the heavens and shouted oaths and alleluias, you might have heard a kindly voice say,

"It is good!"



-------------------



Now I suppose you'd like to know the conclusion of this remarkable tale. How Maria and Joseph made love for days after this, for weeks and months, every chance they got. How the girl did indeed become with child; how her parents kicked her out of her home as a result and how the whole of society rejected her, for you see, to them she was nothing but a whore, a brown-skinned piece of street trash not even worth the value of the stones they threw at her.

How Joseph alone loved her, and took her in, and suffered himself as a result. How when her time was near they had nowhere to sleep but a dirty mattress on the floor of a garage, and how she gave birth that night in that garage, with only Joseph and a couple of stray cats and dogs and a few homeless illegal sharecroppers there to witness the humble birth of the child.

And, some might say, the humble birth of the Savior of the world. But I think it would be best for me to leave that up to you to decide.

Comments

Nickname Date Feedback
Mike 12/12/2016 Loved it. Absolutely awesome. Thank you.
this guy 12/13/2016 Oh my GOD!... So blasphemously erotic: I love it

Can't wait to read about Emanuel and Mary Magdalene...
Hmm... Let's see, an Easter story? Could be fun!
--Chris
Anonymous 12/14/2016 Wow.
I hope that's a "good" Wow, and not a "Wow, that was so sacreligous you're going to rot in hell" Wow.
--CH
erbk 12/5/2016 DEUS VULT (God Wills It), as the Holy Men of old said.

Lovely little tale. Gabriel is a creep but that only makes it funnier, somehow.
Anonymous 12/20/2016 Nicely done, Chris! Long time reader, first time I've left a comment. I guess it's the xmas spirit of giving! Thank you for all your very exceptional work.
I'm glad that the spirit of the holidays moved you to comment, Anon. Happy holidays to you and yours!
--CH
barecock 12/21/2016 Excellent story. Wonderfully blasphemous!
Tanya 12/25/2016 Nice updating of the story. But really would an angel talk with such a potty mouth? I mean he's an angel after all. Now, the devil I would expect to have a potty mouth.
Ponderer 2/25/2017 Wow!

That was hilariously sexy! The commentary is spot-on funny. The reactions, even funnier.

I would say you hit this one out of the park, Chris Hailey.

Side note: No idea how I missed this story on its debut. A week might go by, and I'll still check out your updates. I just missed it. So glad I found it!
Anonymous 2/27/2017 If the whole bible had been writtenn in this style I might just have become a believer rather than agnostic
See now? I keep telling the Big Guy that writing this stuff isn't a sin, it's just an "alternate" form of evangelizing. He isn't convinced, but now I have your comment as living proof!
--Chris

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