Julia

By Azeon

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This work protected by copyright. No unauthorized use allowed.

All items in this story are semi-autobiographical, but the names

and places have been changed to protect, well, whomever.

This story contains graphic depictions of sex between consenting individuals. If you are under the age of 18 or this type of material is offensive, please stop reading now.

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“Oh yeah, I’ve tried a ménage a trois before”

My eyes blinked as I stared at the girl who had just uttered those words. We had known each other for less than 20 minutes so I wasn’t sure what to say. A half smile, half blush look sort of crept over my face as I mumbled something like “wow”

It’s not that I didn’t have plenty to say in my head – but when you are 17, sometimes words don’t drip off your tongue the way they might later in life. That, and my girlfriend was sitting next to me, her eyes rolling with one of those “oh please” looks were enough to keep me quiet.

My girlfriend Heather and I were sitting on the back of Julie’s boat. More accurately, we were on the back of Julie’s Mom’s boat, one so aptly name “Just Revenge” after she took it from her ex-husband. Heather and Julie were marina “friends”. Every weekend their respective broken homes would pack up to hang out onboard a boat and through proximity they became social. Occasionally the girlfriend’s family would say it was ok for me to come to the boat for a while and that’s how I found myself at the very beginning of a long twisted relationship.

Heather and I had been dating for about 2 years, and I was in love like only a teenager could be. Books had her name written in it, I would talk to her on the phone all hours of the night, hormonal overload every time we touched. She was tall and blonde and very athletic. She made me look better just by being next to me. I even gave up a chance at Harvard to go to school nearby so we could be close. Life was as perfect as it could be in high school.

Yeah, I know that’s the love story equivalent of that guy in a war movie who is always talking about his girl back home – showing off her picture- getting married as soon as the war is over. You know he is dead in the next scene. The bastard’s been setup for tragedy by the scriptwriter. Well, whoever wrote my script was about to open fire on me. One stupid phone call about going off to college by me, two scuba trips with the family by the girlfriend, and one diving buddy named Lance was all it took to send me home with a toe tag.

“I heard she was dumping you, I can’t believe she did that” Julie said matter of factly.

I had just gotten the news from Heather and had spent an hour down by the water trying to convince her that it was a wrong move. That never works of course, but what could I do. Now, sitting on a bench trying to figure out how I was going to get up and breathe, I have this nutty girl stroking up a conversation.

“She was always shallow, and you know her mother can’t stand you – it was only a matter of time. Plus, you treated her way to good she couldn’t handle that. She has some self hatred thing going” Julie continued.

“Great, thanks – wish you had been there to give me that kind of advice before we broke up. Are you always so helpful to guys who have just been kicked in the nuts?”

“Hey Tom, don’t take it out on me, your Ex is a bitch. I just hate seeing you sit there like some big lost dog. You look rather pathetic. Why don’t you come down to the boat and have some lunch.”

Having nothing better to do, I followed her to her boat. She went below deck and made us some sandwiches and brought out a few bags of chips. We sat and talked about little stuff – how her year in school was going to go, what I wanted to do in college. I started to notice Julie more closely at that point. She was shorter than me by several inches – maybe 5’4” – 5’5”. She had dirty blonde hair cut kind of short and girlish. She had a cute figure though it was obvious she was a bit softer than Heather. But what got me were her eyes. She had these round, brown pools that were like staring at liquid chocolate. They were the kind of eyes you got carried away in.

I’d love to say in great trash novel style she seduced me and we crawled into the cabin to make wild animal love, but the truth is we just killed a few hours watching other people bring their boats in. After a while it was time for me to head home and face the pity that was in store for me from all of my pals. Before I left, sheepishly I wrote down my number and told her to call me if she ever wanted to and then hit the road.

The next morning I woke to the head splitting sound of a phone ringing. Fate had provided a party for me to go to the night before where I as able to drown the ghosts of Heather with a bottle of Southern Comfort. Now this thing was ringing in my ear causing no end of misery.

“Hello” I mumbled pissed and in pain.

“Hi, it’s Julie, look I was wondering if you are up to it if you want to go to the baseball game today. We have an extra ticket and well I thought it might be fun”

All I wanted to do was sleep, and the thought of moving right now seemed like torture. Why had I done those last few shots?

“Sure what time is the game and where should we meet?”

“Oh, well I’ll come to your house and we can go from there. And take a few aspirin while you’re at it, you sound like shit.”

“Thanks Jules, once again you know how to build a man up. Ok I will see you this afternoon. Oh yeah – thanks for asking me, it’s nice but you don’t have to”

“Tom, one thing you will learn about me is I never do anything because I have to” she replied and then hung up.

I waited for Julie to arrive and thought about how crazy this was. It wasn’t more than a day since getting kicked to the curb by the love of my life, and here I was ready to go out with her friend. I knew I could justify it by saying it was just a ballgame, but anyone in the real world knew things don’t normally end there. Warning bells told me I should have cancelled, but I was lonely and hurt and the comfort of a cute girl had a better ring than the pain of the Comfort I had the night before.

The ballgame was fun; even if I had to watch my Cleveland Indians lose. They were a few years away from being contenders, and, like me, had to settle for getting dumped on more often than not. Julie was a good date. She knew the game, knew the players, and knew when to keep quiet. And when she talked, she knew how to actually have a conversation. She was only 16, but she was going on about politics, and sexism, and the economy like she was a professor. I couldn’t help but be caught up in her energy. By the end of the game I was paying more attention to her than to the game. I felt giddy. She knew what buttons of mine she should push to get me to open up. Let that be a lesson to you dear reader, when a person knows how to push your buttons to make you smile, they probably can do it to make you cry.

Driving home she let her hand rest on my leg. I didn’t make any move to push it aside and she smiled, letting it rest warmly on my thigh. As we got closer to her house, she began to teasingly run it up and down my leg while she was talking. I’m sure she could see that it was a turn on, and by the smile on her face, I’m sure she enjoyed the teasing. By the time we pulled up to my house, I was a teenager on fire. She walked me to my door and fumbled around for a minute trying to get my timing right.

“Just kiss me dummy, you know I’m not going to say no”

Feeling like a moron, I leaned in to kiss her. Our lips touched, shyly at first as we began to find each other’s rhythms. I began to loosen up and enjoy the moment as we teased each other in the way you can do only on the first kiss. I pulled her a little closer, and kissed her a little harder. I could taste vanilla on her lips and that drove me madder with desire, I leaned in and began to kiss her neck when she began to giggle.

“I knew you would be good at that. She always bragged you were a good kisser”

I moved back to kiss her again, but she put her hand up.

“No more of that right now, maybe soon though. I want you to spend the night thinking of me. Trust me – it will be an improvement.”

And with that she disappeared back into her car. I could hear her laughing as she did so. Amused, miffed, horny and emotionally recharged I got ready for the long night ahead.

A few weeks went by and my first year at college had just begun. My friend Rick and I moved into the dorm and began to get to know the natives. In my entire life there has never been anything to compare to those first few weeks in the dorm. Everyone was meeting each other, people didn’t have a reason to hate someone yet and the parties – every night was like some scene out of Animal House. When your 17 or 18, that kind of freedom is better than a drug.

My room had become the party headquarters for all the new people. I would like to say it was my wit charm and drop dead good looks, but I think it had more to do with allowing people to smoke (even though I don’t) and having a big stash of booze on hand. Well you have to give me credit I play to my strengths. This particular Friday night 5 or 6 of us were drinking pretty heavily. My cousin Dave was leaving for the Navy that week so we were doing our best to send him off. We were all getting pretty raucous when the phone rang.

“Hey let us in, we here there is a good party up there college boy”

I knew the voice in a minute. Even though I had only spoken to Julie a few times since our first date, I knew it was she. I rang the buzzer to let her in and in a few minutes she walked into the room

Some people blend in quiet. Some people make an entrance. Some people take over the room – she owned it. Julie dressed to put the competition away that night. Jeans to tight to breath, a shirt cut to tease your mind with the possibilities of what lie beneath, and her hair done up with just the right amount of fuck me. Two of her girlfriends were with her, probably there because they heard about free booze.

Julie walked in and came directly to where I was sitting. She moved the beer bottle from my hand and straddled my hips. She laughed and took a long drink from my bottle before leaning in to kiss me. I almost choked as the body warmed beer splashed playfully back into my mouth.

“So what does a lady have to do to get one of these of her own?” Julia asked.

A couple of guys in the room shouted that they would give her plenty if she would kiss them the same way. Julie just laughed and got off of my lap.

“Well if my host doesn’t get his ass off the bed and get me a drink you may have your chance”

After getting everyone something to drink, I asked Julie what made her decide to come out to the dorm. She said that she had been out driving with Michelle and Diane looking for some way to get in trouble. They figured (well she figured, they went along) that Friday night on a college campus would be about the best place to have some fun and really piss their parents off.

Sometime you get that feeling that you’re playing with fire, or the old Spidey Sense starts going off. Most of the time, a smart person learns to trust those feelings. Smart is the operative word of course. A horny 17 year old is hardly the person to be looked at for sane rational thought. When someone tells you that they are looking for trouble and want to piss their parents off – you should run. Instead I stuck around like the white guy in a horror film.

Michelle and Diane began to talk to a few of my buddies while Julie and I sort of fell into each other. We drank the bottles dry, laughing and carrying on. She was telling me about her last boyfriend, and how she found him face deep between the legs of another girl. She wasn’t one to just walk away crying so she stripped naked and crawled into the bed with them. I told her she was a damn liar, but she swore it was true. She said she slid in and started running her hands over the girls stomach, and that the girl freaked out so bad she started to yell and scream and ran from the room. Julie then kicked her boyfriend in the crotch and left herself. The look in her eyes told me she was telling the truth.

Well I have to say hearing the story made me even more excited. I’d never met someone so ballsy. I got up and put on some slow music and pulled her to her feet. We started to dance in the middle of the room. My hands began to roam her body, feeling her warmth as my fingers found bare flesh. She moved into kiss me, and we swayed there locked in a slow, exploring embrace.

Most of my friends got the hint. Michelle and Diane went off with my roommate and my buddy Paul. All the other guys except one left the room as we continued to kiss and fondle each other. Dave was shit faced and absorbed in some computer game.

Julie pushed me on the bed and began to kiss my neck and chest. She wrapped her legs around my waist and began to push her body down on mine. I started to slide my hand under her shirt, anxious to get my first feel of the breasts that had been teasing me all night. My fingers brushed over the soft swells and I could hear Julie’s breathing become shallower. I started to get bolder and lifted her shirt over her head. Julie smiled and pressed against me even harder. As my thumbs began to massage her nipples, I felt her sit upright.

“Hey Dave, would you mind getting the fuck out of here, I want to get laid in privacy” she yelled while throwing her shirt at him. Dave turned around and went pale.

“Oh man, I’m sorry – I didn’t see you guys were um, occupied” he said as his eyes took in Julie’s body.

“Well now you know, so move your ass”

We could hear him chuckling as he shut the door. Julie stood up and began to take her clothes off. She slid her jeans over her hips just slow enough to look non-chalant without looking like she was trying to tease me. Next came her bra. Her young, perky breasts came into view for the first time. They weren’t large, but maybe the size of oranges. They had the most wonderful softness to them. Not soft as in saggy, but soft as in comforting. She stood there for a moment letting me enjoy the view of her body before she climbed back on the bed with me.

We began to kiss again, this time with pure lust driving us. These kisses were not playful but hungry and wild. My hands caressed her body, feeling her nipples swell at my touch. My thigh slid between her legs and began to grind against her, feeling the heat escaping from her body. She began to grind back against my leg as we embraced.

My mouth found her left nipple and began to suckle at it. It was almost electric to finally taste her hidden flesh. As I swirled and sucked her breast, my fingers began to lightly stroke her belly. I could feel her jump as they slowly made there way down to the elastic. Sucking on her breasts harder, I let my fingers slide under her panties and began to tease her waiting flesh. She moaned into my ear and began to wiggle her bottom at my touches.

As my fingers began to penetrate her, I could feel her working for my belt buckle. After a few tries she managed to get it undone and then started to fumble for my zipper. She was beginning to become lost in her own pleasure so she wasn’t as deft as she might have been, but luckily was able to think clearly enough to manage. When her hand slid into my boxers I thought I was going to explode right there. Truth of the matter is if we had not been drinking so much that night I might have. Who said alcohol was bad?

Her fingers wrapped around my swollen cock and began to move slowly up and down, pulling the skin over the head with each stroke. She was driving me crazy. Every so often she would slide her hand along my belly or down to my balls and caress them, but mainly she just kept rolling her hands along my stiffness.

I began to move my fingers over her swollen clit faster and faster in response. She was pressing her chest into my mouth with urgency so I gladly kept working on her wonderful breasts. I felt her stiffen and then she let out a loud moan as she began to push down on my fingers. It’s always amazing the first time you see someone get off. Some people are quiet and very in to there own space, others are loud and spastic. Julie was just very intense, she didn’t scream, but moaned like an animal on the prowl. The look in her eyes was one of pure eroticism.

I couldn’t take my more of Julie’s ministrations so I moved her hand from my swollen member and rolled her over on the bed. I began to kiss her as I parted her legs and then slid my body between them. My lips brushed against her ears as my tip brushed against her opening. I began to kiss her neck as I slowly began to push inside of her incredibly tight pussy. Our mouths met as I was finally all the way into her.

I began to thrust deeply into her. Julie’s hands reached around my shoulders. Her thighs slid up my legs clinching them tightly. I could feel the pressure in my balls begin to build with each squeezing stroke. I began to thrust harder into her. I lifted my body off of hers balancing myself on my hands so that I could enter her as deeply as humanly possible.

“Oh my god you look like a seal,” she said breaking into a huge fit of laughter.

I looked down at her, suddenly shaken from my building climax to see her staring at me laughing.

“I’m serious if you put a ball on your head you’d be perfect for Sea World.”

I began to laugh at how true the statement was, knowing full well I must look silly perched up with my back arched. Somehow, in all the laughter and embarrassment, the excitement dissipated. I rolled her over and kissed her lightly and just held her body close to mine.

Part 2

“I never understood why the kid got all the birthday gifts, when the Mom did all the work,” I said as I handed Julie’s Mom a big bouquet of flowers. Around me 20 or 30 people all ooohed and ahhed at my bit of grandstanding. Pat ate it up every bit as much as I had hoped and was soon gushing over what a charming young man I was.

My buddy Rick and I had stopped over to Julie’s house for her birthday party. Lots of people we didn’t know stood around talking loudly about things we didn’t care about. They were mainly relatives; gray haired, wrinkled relatives to be exact. This was my first time meeting most of her family, and I was being shown off like a Westminster dog. It wasn’t to bad though, most of them were curious about how long I knew their little girl, what I was going to do in school etc. All the pre programmed questions we ask strangers when making small talk. It took a while to notice that my date was somewhat quiet and aloof.

When I managed to break away from the older crowd, I found Julie and her friend Amanda sitting down in the basement listening to Skid Row with Rick. Julie was being very friendly with him, a little more so than I liked, but I didn’t pay much attention to it. Rick and I had a creed – most guys do.

“Oh, done playing it up to the old folks” Julie asked sarcastically?

“Yeah I guess so. What you didn’t want me to make a good impression with your Mom?”

“Oh sure, but come on, flowers? Isn’t that a bit much? I’m not even sure you have brought me flowers yet.”

“Oh buy you flowers? You mean I could have gotten off easy by bringing you flowers? Then I guess she doesn’t want her gift Rick, we can go home now.”

Rick laughed and started to stand up. Julie began to squirm and protest. She jumped to her feet and ran for me.

“Give it to me, don’t be an ass” Julie said as she playfully slapped at my chest.

I reached into my pocket and took my time fishing out a small box. I held it out in front of her and then tossed it over to Rick, asking him to go by some flowers for me and by some beer with what was left for later.

“Ok you are an ass, and I don’t want your stupid gift.” Julie pouted. She ran up the stairs leaving the rest of us alone in the basement. Amanda looked at me like I had horns growing from my head. Rick handed me back the box and tried to slip into the corner.

“Oh great”, I thought to myself. My intent had been to tease her a bit, make her even more excited, but now in my foolishness I made her angry. I added that to the mental checklist of things never to do again. It was a pretty long list all ready – and I had a feeling that dating Julie was going to add to it, and add to it fast.

All the clichés about legs feeling like they are made of lead or shoes of concrete suddenly became too familiar as I started up those stairs. I was carrying on the mental dialogue of my apology and her likely retorts when I hit the landing. I opened the door to the living room ready to grovel like a TV preacher looking for more money.

“Well that didn’t take you long to figure out the right move” she said laughing at me.

She was seated on a small stool near the door, knowing I’d follow her up. She was smiling at me. Not kind smiles, but a sort of wicked, self-satisfied smile that I would soon learn all to well. In the heat of the moment however all I knew is she wasn’t aiming a heavy object at my head trying to knock me back down the stairs.

“Jules, I didn’t mean to make you mad, I just wanted to tease you a bit for giving me crap about those flowers”

She looked at me like I was the dumbest man on the planet. A small shake of her head and an amused look on her face threw me into a confused state.

“Well yeah, duh. Why do you think I walked up the stairs? Why do you think I was sitting right here waiting for you? I wanted to make you sweat a little for acting like that. How does it feel to be teased?”

I walked over to her and pulled her up from the stool. Wrapping my arms around her I roughly pressed her to my body and gave her a deep showy kiss in front of everyone. When she joined in the kiss with earnest, I almost forgot where we were and why I had come up the stairs.

Julie broke away from my kiss and looked at me again. This time I must not have been the dumbest man alive. She began to hug me and rest her head on my chest. One hand lazily worked its way up and down my side, lulling me into her embrace. The other hand softly rubbed my chest near her head. I began to warm to her touch and loose myself in her when I felt her hand snake forth with lightning speed snatching the box from my breast pocket.

“Man your slow some days” she giggled as she tore open the wrapping paper. Inside the box was a small golden heart with a single diamond in the middle. We had seen it one day when we were in the mall, and I remember her making an “idle” comment about how pretty it was. It took me a little while to save for it, what’s expensive to an adult is not the same as an out of work college student, but managed to get it without going further into debt.

I stood there watching with a mix of nervousness and anticipation waiting for her reaction. I guess I know now that the actual present is less important that the fact you paid enough attention to remember it, but at the time I wasn’t sure she would really like it. I know that doesn’t make sense since she picked it out, but I was a bit out of my element.

Julie pulled the necklace from the box and let the heart dangle on the chain. I know it may sound corny, but I don’t know which was brighter, the sparkle from the diamond as it spun, or the sparkle in her eye as she stared at it. She started to get misty eyed and hugged me tight to her. I could hear the collective ohh’s and ahh’s again from her family, but they were drowned out by the sound of my own heart pounding in my ears. Julie kissed me soft, almost shyly.

“I just really don’t deserve someone as nice as you; I’m not used to being treated this way”

Part 3.

“Oh shit, my Mom’s home”, Julie quietly groaned as she pushed me off of her.

Red and white battled to be the new color of my face as I was torn between embarrassment and fear. Thoughts of her Mom catching me in the act swirled through my brain at rapid speed. I just knew Pat was going to kill me when she found out I was here.

“Quick, go lay down in the tub” whispered Julie as she started to pull on her clothes. “Just be quiet and stay in here while I go find out what she wants”

As crazy as the idea sounded, it was better than any I had. I skulked off to the bathroom and shut the door, praying this wasn’t a time her Mom would walk in. Even though the door was shut, I ended up lying down in the tub. Ok I KNOW it seems silly – if that door flew open, the tub wasn’t going to save me – but in the heat of the moment it made sense.

I could hear them talking in that muffled every third word makes sense kind of way. I could make out by their general tone that Pat didn’t suspect anything. Julie just kept talking as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

Tip to those of you in love – if your girlfriend can sound that casual with her mom minutes after nearly getting caught in the bed with you, you may be on a crash course with trouble. That kind of smooth as silk bullshitting never leads anywhere good.

It was a long wait in the bathtub. You tend to notice things when you’re stuck in that kind of situation that normally you wouldn’t pay attention to. The 3 or 4 types of shampoo on the edge of the tub (who needs more than 1 I wondered naively at the time), the monotone drip of a leaky spigot or the strands of hair that were caught in her comb above me on the shelf. Somehow, with all these exciting things to keep me company, I must have dozed off.

It seemed like forever, but it must have only been a few minutes until I heard the sound of the garage door slamming shut. I could hear a car pull out of the drive way and drive away. The minutes started to tick by as I waited for Julie to come and tell me everything was ok. No sounds came from the house, and I started to get nervous.

I opened the door slowly and made my way into her bedroom. Picking my way over the piles of junk that littered the floor; I went to the window to check that Pat’s car was gone. It was gone but still no Julie.

I walked down the stairs and found that I was quite alone in the house. Other than the vicious parrot she kept in the living room, the house was mine. I went back upstairs to gather my shoes and get out of the house. I walked to the door thinking myself lucky when I noticed the keypad.

“Shit” I cried. I forgot about the damn alarm system. If I opened the door it would trigger the alarm. It was likely by the time someone responded I’d be long gone, but I didn’t want her Mom getting paranoid about the house. So there I was, trapped for the second time in less than an hour. At least this time I was able to grab something to read as I waited it out.

A few minutes and 10 pages into The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, the phone rang. Since it wasn’t my house, I didn’t pick up, but when I heard Julie’s voice I rushed for the phone.

She had told her Mom she wanted to call me to see if I could come over later. Since I was still in her Mom’s good graces (thank you flowers), she agreed and said I could have dinner and spend the night. Provided I sleep in my own room of course.

“Listen, you have to get out of there,” she whispered to me.

“Oh really? I was just going to start cooking for you to ladies since I’m fucking trapped in your house”

She started to giggle but whispered in between the laughter “8, 1, 2, 4”

We hung up and I wasted no time getting out of the house. I figured I needed to kill a few hours before I could reasonably be expected to go from campus to their house. At that point I didn’t have a car so I was a hostage of public transportation. What should have been 30 minutes took 2 hours. Of course, that’s also why I was able to spend the night, so I can’t complain.

I walked around the town for a while. I went into the Hallmark store and picked up a card for Julie, and then grabbed a bite to eat. When I killed enough time, I walked back to the house. The sky was all ready growing darker in the early November afternoon. By the time I got to the house, it was getting cold and my nose was turning red.

Pat opened the door and said Hi. After inviting me in and calling for Julie, she sat down on the couch. She asked me how the ride over had been, and how school was going. We made small talk for a few minutes while I waited. Right before Julie came down; Pat leaned forward and asked how I liked The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.

I froze. Before saying anything I did the mental checklist. Did I remember to put that book back? I may have forgotten to, but so what. Julie could have read it.

“Well, I remember it as a kid, it was ok I guess” I bluffed.

The same wicked smile I had seen on Julies face from time to time crossed Pat’s face. She looked at me in a strange, almost hungry way and whispered, “I know”

That moment seemed to have no stop or start. I was frozen between heartbeats. The best I could do was ask innocently what she knew.

“Tom, you know that Julie can be a bit of a wild child. We have had issues before and I don’t necessarily trust her the way I’d like. She can be a very sneaky young lady. That’s why my neighbor keeps her eyes open when I’m not here. She saw you come to the door, and remembered you from the party. That’s why I dropped home for lunch.”

I started to apologize and say it won’t happen again when Pat stopped me. She explained that she wasn’t mad. Of all the stupid things Julie had done in life, she got it right with me and Pat knew I wasn’t a jerk. She wasn’t happy with Julie inviting me over, but she didn’t blame me. Her daughter knew better, and would be dealt with when I wasn’t there.

“By the way, did you almost die when I made her come shopping?” Pat asked laughing at me. “At least you have good taste with reading. Maybe you should take it with you for the bus ride”

Julie came down the stairs and asked what we were laughing at. A glance from her mother made it obvious to me that I shouldn’t say anything about our talk. I made something up about some weirdo I met on the way over which seemed to satisfy her for the moment. I got up and gave her a kiss and hugged her to me.

I asked if they would be upset if I did the cooking that night, as a thank you. They were both delighted by the offer and a bit curious how I would do. I began searching the fridge and the pantry for something to make. I was a pretty good cook, and created a meal out of some of the things on hand. A little chicken, a little roasted red peppers, some artichoke - add pasta and voila – dinner is served.

We ate that night and I listened to the ladies talk about their past. Pat told the story of how she and Julie ended up in their house after her divorce. Julie seemed to stiffen a bit when her dad’s name was mentioned, but she didn’t say much. Seems that they had met to young, married to young, and had young too young. It was too much for him to be so old so fast. A new leather jacket, a Harley and a nice place near the beach (complete with even younger girlfriend) seemed to be his fountain of youth.

I thought it was notable that Pat wasn’t so much the bitter ex-wife as she was a lonely lady stuck in a life she didn’t quite plan, and didn’t quite know how to handle. I watched the interaction between the daughter and the mother and could tell that the divorce was a sore subject. I was curious. I was intrigued. I was smart enough to not ask a single thing.

When dinner ended Pat cleared the dishes and let us go off on our own. Julie and I snuggled onto the couch and watched TV. It was warm, it was cozy and it felt right. We were at peace with each other and happy just to sit there. Once in a while, I would lean over to kiss her, or she would nibble my earlobe (man that drives me crazy), but mainly we just held each other and enjoyed the moment.

Eleven PM came and Pat told Julie it was time for bed. While Pat may have been pretty accommodating, bedtime for Julie meant bedtime for me. In my own bed. In my own bed outside of Pats room with no door. In my own bed outside of Pats bedroom with no chance of finishing what Julie and I had started hours and hours ago.

Sleep came easy and deep once I got situated. It was always strange sleeping in an unfamiliar house, on a strange bed, and it takes a little time to adjust. I’m not sure how long Id been asleep when I felt something move against me. My eyes opened and in the dim light I could sense Julie more than see her.

She held one finger to her lips silencing me and leaned in to kiss me hard. Her lips came to my ear and she whispered that she had been horny all day thinking of me, and that she just couldn’t let the opportunity pass. Her fingers drew small circles down my chest and over my belly as she kissed my neck.

“Julie,” I whispered sharply, as the tips of her fingers brushed over my boxers. “Your mom could come out and find you here. What are you doing?”

Her response was to squeeze me through the boxers. Her hand slid up and down my shaft and she nodded with dangerous eyes. Her free hand reached for mine and guided it between her thighs. As she stroked me, she used my hand to rub her warm slit moving it back and forth against her. There was a decided lack of material covering her, so my hand was moved against the growing dampness of her mound.

All rational thought was quickly leaving my brain. I did want to stop, I did – honest. But the feel of her hand rubbing my erection, and the total lust in which she rubbed my other hand over her mound was too much. I moved over as closed as I could and began to kiss her neck. Slow, sucking kisses that raised the blood without leaving damage. The neck led to the shoulders. The shoulders to her breasts, and before I knew it, I had one hard, nightie covered nipple in my mouth.

As the excitement mounted I took my hand away from hers and began to probe her on my own

I felt her hand slip inside my boxers and wrap around my hardness. There were still no words between us, but the breathing seemed to speak volumes. I was surprised and excited when I felt her free hand join mine rubbing her. Two sets of fingers stroked her clit, two sets moved in and out of her.

Julie moved close to my ear. As low as she could she whispered, “Do you want to fuck me?”

The only thing I could do was nod and finger her faster. The warning was going off again that this was a bad idea, but quite frankly I needed to be inside her. It was her Mom, not mine anyhow.

Deeper, huskier she whispered “Are you sure you want to fuck me? Do you want to feel my pussy surround your cock?”

Her hand picked up its speed. My legs were quivering and it felt like I was going to explode any second. I tired to match her speed, but her fingers continued their steady, rhythmic playing so I tried to follow.

Julie wiggled a bit and got the nightgown raised over her hips. She pushed my boxers down and freed my cock from the cotton prison. She pushed my hand away from her and moved her body to press against mine.

“You want to fuck me with my mom asleep a few feet away?” she asked as she ground her pussy against my cock.

“Yes, damn it yes” I whispered hoarsely.

She grasped my shaft and moved a leg over my hip. We were lying on our sides so it wasn’t my favorite angle, but she managed to get me all the way inside of her. We rocked back and forth, not wanting to move much, not able to move much without making noise. Her hands clutched my body, forcing me deeper. Ever small movement was bringing us closer to exploding. My mouth found her shoulder and buried in against her neck.

“Yes baby yes,” she nearly hissed. Her hips were slamming against my pelvis, almost painfully. Julie became almost violent in the way she moved into me. The whole time she kept talking in my ear.

“Fuck me; fuck me in front of my mom’s room. Come on take me harder.”

I wasn’t sure whom Julie was trying to fuck at that moment. Me? Her mom? Her deserting dad? I knew this wasn’t recreational sex, by cathartic. She needed to fuck someone. She needed to do what she was doing and I was the one with her. I don’t know that it could have been anyone, but what she was losing herself to didn’t have to be me. Her pussy clenched around me and she spasmed. There were tears of pleasure and frustration as she came. She rocked her hips against me even more sharply

It was the first hate fuck I ever had, without being the hated one.

It didn’t bother me one bit.

When I got to the edge and began to move erratically, Julie pushed me out of her. I cried a little in disappointment, but her hand moved to quickly take hold of me. She began to stroke her hand up and down the slick coated shaft until I erupted with shot after shot of cum. She angled my cock so that I was coming on my belly and chest. When I finished, she slid her gown off and rubbed her body though the warm liquid, spreading it over our bodies. The tacky, warm fluid began to dry on our skin as she kissed me. Without a word, Julie got up and padded back to her room.

I could faintly hear her crying in the dark house. I’m not sure, but I thought I could faintly hear low moaning coming from the other room. I drifted off to sleep confused about what I had gotten myself into.

Part 4.

“Hey Pat’s gone for the night, and people are coming over – any way you can get here?”

I looked at the clock and wondered if there was anyway to make the hour-long trip. Damn man, when am I going to get a car? The bus ride wouldn’t be so bad if I could make it, but it was snowy outside. Winter had come early to Ohio that year. Fall made a brief appearance and gave way to steel gray skies and white lawns by November.

“Let me see what I can do, it’s kind of short notice, but yeah that be great if I can do it.”

“Can anyone give you a ride? They are welcome to stay if they do. We have beer and girls here”

Hmm beer and girls, that may be enough to convince someone to make the long drive. I hung up the phone and went to ask a few friends I knew who could drive. Since the first semester was winding down, most of the people I knew were eyeball deep in study. I finally managed to bribe Troy, one of the new guys on the floor to drive. Seems Troy needed some “help” on a computer programming assignment. When I offered to ease that burden, he offered to make the trip.

It was a little after 8 when we got there. There were more people than I counted on and more guys than I knew would be there. It wasn’t exactly a party, but it was more than a few friends. I knew a few of the girls so I figured that the guys were their dates.

Julie came over and hugged me tight. She also hugged Troy and said she owed him one in that impish way of hers. I laughed and said that I already took care of the payment. With that she pulled me into the living room to join the gang.

People talked and the music played. The conversations were mainly over my head since I didn’t know their school, but I nodded in the right spots and said my “oh really, wow” when needed. Julie sat next to me the whole time, but was pretty caught up in her friends. I drank a beer and watched it all.

It turns out I was wrong about one of the guys. Sean wasn’t one of the girl’s boyfriends. He talked with a familiarity towards Julie that I found odd. As the night rambled on, I noticed he became increasingly more familiar. I didn’t really think to much about it, after all Julie had invited me to come when she didn’t need to, and had not moved from my side, but there was just something slightly off about the way he smiled at her.

Troy left after a few hours. He asked if I wanted to go back, but I said I’d hop the bus the next morning. Julia smiled and poured herself another drink. A few of the others went home leaving about half the original crowd. The crowd that was left started watching a movie and winding down. I curled next to Julie on the couch as she relaxed against me. I was starting to feel a bit tired after a long day and wanted to pull her away for some quiet time.

I whispered to her that we should go upstairs, but she wanted to wait a while and watch the movie. I grudgingly said ok and paid halfhearted attention to the film, some movie called Witch Board or something.

I began to doze off about a third of the way in. I wasn’t the only one either. It seems everyone but Julie, Sean and one other girl had the same idea and were crashed. Julie and Sean were laughing in a whispered voice and having a good time. I tired to clear my head and stay awake, but I was fading fast.

“Hey Jules, lets go to bed, I’m dying on you”

She shook her head and said no. When I told her that I really wanted her to come to bed, she became more adamant. She wasn’t ready to sleep yet. Besides if I was that tired, maybe I should go nap for a while. She wasn’t going until after the movie.

I knew better than to try and argue, so I went up the stairs by myself. I kicked off everything and crawled into Pat’s bed. Since she was gone we got the Master bedroom. I smiled a little thinking I was naked in her mother’s bed, but somehow it didn’t seem weird. I flattened the pillow and pulled up the comforter. It wasn’t long before I was fast asleep on the thick pillow of feathers.

I woke with a start about 2 hours later. I heard the sound of the door closing and looked around in a daze. Silhouetted against the moonlight I could see her take her clothes off. Arms stretched high over her head, pale silver light shining on her skin she looked almost unreal in her beauty.

The blankets moved away and she slipped into the bed. She straddled me, her thighs gripping my hips tight. The light still spilled over her and I became excited. She didn’t ask. She didn’t tell. She just took. She sank over me and shuddered. As she moved up and down, I noticed she was crying. Not loudly, but real tears. I went to ask but she just shook her head fiercely. Her hands found my chest and she held herself up by leaning forward. The feeling of her moving against me was incredible, but I was distracted by the tears. I got a growing sense of unease as she moved faster and faster. Something didn’t seem right. She was to upset, to needy, for things to be right.

As I struggled with the caution signs in my head, my body took over. I gave into her desire and let go. Her eyes became haunted and withdrawn before finally closing tightly. In the moonlight I could see her bite down on her lip as her head fell backwards. I lay motionless under her, letting her use me for whatever release she needed. She moaned and rocked hard against me and I could feel her body shudder. She fell against my chest, still holding me tight inside of her and cried on my shoulder. Somewhere between lust, confusion and compassion I went over the edge, spilling into her as she clung to me.

Time slowed as we lay together. I asked her what was wrong but she wouldn’t say. She just kept crying and rocking back and forth. I tried to press the matter but could feel her pull away physically and emotionally. I held her tight and stopped trying to talk. Several minutes passed and she drifted off to sleep. I kept her safe in my arms and stared at the night sky for the next hour before I to fell asleep.

The next morning, we stumbled out of bed only to realize Pat would be home in about an hour. I hopped into the shower and quickly got cleaned up while Julie was rousing the few people who were still here. Although the house wasn't a complete disaster, it was close. So, we set about cleaning up the place and making it look a little less lived in.

I grabbed all the empty bottles and boxes and headed for the trash. As I pushed the junk

into the bag, a small foil packet caught my eye. Suddenly, in one of those leaps of intuitiveness that people have (but maybe shouldn't) I knew what was wrong with Julie last night. I could feel my stomach

fall as I visualized her with Sean, fucking on the floor only a few feet

under me.

She saw my face as she rounded the corner. Something in my eyes must have told her that I knew, and she started to cry. I stood watching her. She started to say she was sorry through the tears, but somehow I felt disconnected from the events. She mournfully walked to me, tears streaming down her face while I backed up slightly, bumping against the kitchen counter. She tried to embrace me, but I just held her

wrists in my hands, keeping her literally at arms’ length.

"Why?"

She looked at me with wet, heavy eyes and shrugged listlessly. She couldn't hold my gaze; she couldn't look me in the eyes. I could see the pain on her face, and part of me started to soften, but not enough.

Not nearly enough.

"Why? Can't you even tell me why?"

She started to say it just happened—that it was an accident, when I stopped her. I pushed her back slightly and told her not to waste my time if that was the excuse.

At that moment, something came to life in her. Like a predator backed into a corner, the survival instinct seemed to kick in as I held her. Her head lifted and this time there was fire in her eyes, not tears. She held my gaze now, almost defiantly. She paralyzed me with her gaze as she began to talk in slow, measured words.

"’Why?!’ You want to know ‘why?!’ I don't know why. ‘Why?’ Because last night you left me down there because it was more important for you to go to bed, than to stay up with me. Why? Because I was desperate and lonely and abandoned, and he offered. Or maybe the why was just because I was horny and drunk and you didn't pay me enough attention. WHY? I don't fucking know WHY! I could tell you how, or when, if you wanted, or even the where and the what. But I can't tell you why. I can't—that’s it and that's what's hurting me so bad."

I was off balance. Of all the things to expect, I didn’t expect anger. Somehow I had been put on the defensive and wasn’t sure what to do. I could hear myself thinking this is all wrong, but felt myself pulling her close. I grabbed her in my arms and held her, afraid if I let go somehow it would be forever. I held her and tried not to think about anything other than the smell of her hair and the warmth of her arms. I held her and began to cry with her.

“I have to get out of here, your Mom will be home soon” I whispered softy.

She nodded her head into my shoulder and let me go. She touched the palm of her hand to my cheek and softly caressed me. She said she was sorry. Nothing more elaborate, just she was sorry. I took her at her word, and left.

Don’t ask me why I didn’t leave for good. Now it was my turn not to know why. Did I feel betrayed? Of course. Was I hurt? Yeah kind of, but not enough. Not as much as she was hurting. Maybe that pain was kind of seductive. Not to cause more, but to help heal it. Maybe because she was so much more injured than I ever dreamed, it was easy to excuse even the worst from her. I don’t know, but I didn’t leave. Some lessons you just need to learn the hard way.

Part 5.

Trying to sum up how the relationship ended isn’t easy. Like most terminal cases, it lingered and fought for a long time only to end suddenly before we were prepared. From that November day until the end we walked away from each other we spiraled into a semi self destructive pattern of love, lust and loathing. When she wasn’t around I was never comfortable with what she was doing. When she was there I couldn’t help but think of what she had done. I loved her, and didn’t want to let her go, but I hated her in some ways too.

It wasn’t that she cheated. It was more than that. I began to see her more clearly and was frightened by what I saw. It was the way she could lie to her mom with a straight face and feel no regret. Or the way she used sex as a tool or a weapon. Her complete disregard for consequences and how they could affect other people. It wasn’t the cheating I hated, but the personality that had made it so easy.

It didn’t end easily. My need to make her better and her need to be loved fed off of each other. No matter what she did, I found a way to forgive her. She cheated again, but I expected it. She lied often, but I knew it was coming. Julie found a way to be loving and cruel, strong and broken that kept me fixated.

There is no one great event that caused the breakup. Surprisingly it was something small, and almost silly. After surviving a wild Christmas filled with equal parts good cheer and misery (which is another story for another day) it was Valentines Day that tipped the scale.

Julie was scheduled to wait tables that night at the diner she worked in. We agreed to see each other that weekend instead of the 14^th. I was a little sad, but figured I had midterms that week anyhow so it was probably smarter this way. That night I say on my bunk reading 4 weeks worth of Econ (in one day of course) when she called wanting to get together.

“Aw Jules, its kind of late now. I thought you were working tonight”

“They let me out because we were slow. It’s Valentines Day so you need to get over here”

I sat for a minute or two trying to think of some way to get together. It was to late for a bus, and I had an exam the next morning. There just wasn’t a good way to get from point A to point B and back that night.

“You know, Id love to come out there and celebrate tonight, but now its so late and I have to get ready for my econ exam tomorrow. I would have planned it differently if you had been off, but you were supposed to work”

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a few minutes. When she spoke, it was that same cool deliberate voice I’d heard before.

“So your saying to me that you’d rather read economics than spend Valentines Day with your girlfriend?”

“That’s not what I said Julie,” I answered a bit irritated. “You were not supposed to be home tonight. I planned my week around that. You accepted the work shift on Valentines, not me. Now I’m just trying to get ready for exams”

“I’m asking you to come over tonight; it’s our first Valentines Day. Don’t you think that’s more important than a test you’ll probably pass easy anyhow?”

Her voice was cold, hollow. She had asked, but it was more of an ultimatum. Come over here now. Choose me over school now, or else.

For some reason that did it. The cheating hadn’t. The lying hadn’t. But that “request” did it. Suddenly she wasn’t a victim. Suddenly she wasn’t someone to be fixed but a selfish, cruel little girl. I saw it all clearly then. If I gave in to this, there would be no end of giving in.

“No, I’m not coming tonight. I’m studying. Do you have a problem with that?” I told her tersely. “As a matter of fact Julie, I think I’m going to be busy with school for a long long time now. So long in fact maybe you should find someone else to fuck around with.”

“Are you dumping me? On Valentines Day? Why? Because I want to see you?”

“No, because you have no regard for anyone but yourself. I love you Jules, but not more than I love myself. With you that’s one to many people to love. So yeah, I’m breaking up with you. On Valentines Day. Not because you wanted to see me, but because you only want me to see you and nothing else.”

I hung up the phone and stared for a while. There was no relief or sadness. I wasn’t heartbroken or angry, I was just empty. It was finally over. Something died inside me at that point, and there was nothing left to grieve over the end. Maybe that’s what growing up is all about? I should have felt so many things, but I didn’t. I just sat back down and started to study again.

The next day I aced the test. I hadn’t needed to study after all.

Fitting.