Play - Britslut's Slutty Stories

Britslut’s

Slutty Stories

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[alex and bob, two youths, are sitting on the steps of the town square, watching the world, and specifically its females, go by.]

alex: Cor, look at the tits on that!

bob: Like bloody basketballs, they are.

alex: Wouldn’t mind a feel of them.

bob: Nah, probably sag down to her ankles when she takes her bra off.

alex: Yeah. That’s the trouble with older women.

bob: How the fuck do you know? Never even shagged a girl your own age.

alex: I’m working on it. Anyway, Mr Experience, you haven’t popped your cherry yet, have you?

bob: I’m saving myself for Sylvia.

alex: What, Sylvia in the lower sixth? You’ll be lucky. Get to the back of the queue.

bob: She’s a cracker though, isn’t she? Legs that go all the way up, tits to die for.

alex: Bit chubby round the waist.

bob: Those are love handles, mate. Something to hold on to while you’re giving her one. Can’t stand bony girls.

alex: What about that one? [points]

bob: Her? That’s Ed’s sister. She’s not bony, just slim. Knows how to strut her stuff, doesn’t she?

alex: Not half. Look at that arse. Like two ferrets fighting in a sack.

bob: Where’d you get that from?

alex: My uncle says it. Annoys my mum every time.

bob: Talking of ferrets, what about her? [points]

alex: That’s Dave’s mum. You have got a thing about older women, haven’t you?

bob: Yeah, but! She’s a MILF and no mistake.

alex: What’s a MILF?

bob: Mom I Like to Fuck. There’s websites full of ‘em. Hot women getting fucked by young blokes, like us.

alex: In your dreams! Anyway, they’ll be all wrinkly with saggy tits and things.

bob: She doesn’t look like she’s got saggy tits. Look, you can see her nipples sticking out! Wow, she must be feeling horny.

alex: Or cold. My mum’s nips stick out sometimes. I don’t think she’s horny.

bob: Wonder what her minge is like.

alex: You’re sick.

bob: I’d give her one, sick or not.

alex: Be like fucking your own mum.

[Silence. They are joined by chris]

chris: Hi.

alex & bob: Hi.

chris: Anything doing?

alex: We’re just looking. Bob’s got the hots for Dave’s mum, over there.

chris: Wow, Gina. Yeah, she’s a babe, isn’t she?

bob: See?

alex: How d’you know her name?

chris: I keep my ears open. She’s hot stuff, you’re right.

alex: God, you two. She must be 45 if she’s a day.

chris: So what’s wrong with that?

bob: Yeah, a shag’s a shag. Think of the years of experience in there. Done it all. She must have had loads of blokes.

chris: So they say.

alex: What?

chris: That’s the word. She’s up for it. Might try her myself.

bob: Who says?

chris: Oh, lots. Paul saw her snatch the other day. She was sitting on the grass, short skirt. He swears he saw everything.

alex: And? What was it like?

chris: He reckons she shaves. Couldn’t see any hair.

bob: Fucking hell.

chris: I was round there a while back, she was in the garden, in a bikini. Not a big one either. Got a fucking hot bod, I tell you. Gave me a right boner.

alex: Has anyone ... actually done it with her?

chris: I heard that Ed gave her one.

bob: What, Ed from Stretford Road?

chris: Mmm.

alex: What was it like?

chris: Dunno. Ask him yourself. Here he comes.

[They are joined by ed]

chris: We’re talking about Gina. They say you bonked her.

ed: Hi guys. Who, Gina, Dave’s mum?

bob: The same. She was here a minute ago, looking extremely sexy, for someone who Al thinks is ready for a bus pass.

ed: Yeah, she’s a hot little tart.

alex: So you did do it with her?

ed: Might have done.

bob: Are you going to tell us about it?

ed: Oh, it’s personal. I never tell.

bob: I don’t believe you did it.

alex: Yeah, prove it.

ed: How can I prove it? Ask her if you don’t believe me.

alex: Oh yeah, like I’m going to go up to her and say, Hi, Mrs, did Ed shag you? What was he like?

ed: She might tell you. She’s doesn’t make a secret of her sex life.

chris: What’s it worth? Free beer tonight?

ed: Hmm. OK. I popped round one Saturday afternoon, I knew Dave was out playing football. Gina was in, pleased to see me, well what woman wouldn’t be? I told her how attractive she looked, said she was a really sexy woman, put my arms round her and gave her a big snog. She didn’t even struggle. In fact she started rubbing my cock and unzipping me. Then she knelt down and gave me a blow-job - nearly blew it there and then. So we got naked and did it on the floor. She was quite wild, made more noise than anyone I know. We did it three times, she couldn’t get enough of me. Don’t blame her, mind.

alex: Wow! What’s her minge like?

bob: Yeah, is she shaved?

ed: Completely. Bare as a baby. You can see everything.

[alex and bob moan softly.]

chris: You going to do it again?

ed: Might do. Afterwards she gave me a kiss and said pop round any time.

bob: What a slag. Christ, here’s Dave. What do we say?

[dave joins them.]

dave: Hi guys.

alex, bob, chris and ed: Hi.

[A brief silence]

alex: Dave, your mum. Um. Does she shave her pussy?

dave: Yeah, why?

alex: You’ve seen it?

dave: Course I’ve seen it. She often goes around starkers.

alex: Christ, I’ve never seen my mum naked. Not sure I’d want to.

dave: She’s cool. Says she doesn’t believe in secrets.

bob: Hehe. No secrets at all?

dave: Don’t think so.

bob: So, she tell you about Ed?

dave: Oh, yeah. Sounds like you gave her a good one.

ed: You knew?

dave: Yeah, course I did. She told me all about it. A word of advice for next time: give her puss a good licking. She loves that. Likes to cum a lot.

chris: Christ, I’m getting a hard-on here.

alex: Me too. Don’t you ... I mean, with your mum walking around naked and telling you all about being shagged and all ... doesn’t it give you a boner?

dave: Yeah, every time!

bob: Fucking hell! Why don’t you tell her?

dave: She knows.

bob: She’s just winding you up! Don’t you ever, like, want to give her a good hard shag?

alex: She’s his mum!

bob: So? Don’t you?

ed: I don’t want to hear this.

dave: Course I do! Wouldn’t you?

chris: Ever done it?

[silence]

alex: Jesus, of course he hasn’t!

chris: Dave?

dave: My mum may have no secrets, but I do. And that’s one of ‘em.

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last modified 29 October 2008