How to Suck A Strap-On

        OK, you've tuned in and ten to one you're wondering who'd ever do a
thing like sucking on a strap-on dildo? After all, it's just a piece of
rubber, right? Why bother? Well, first let's ask what sort of individuals
generally use strap-ons. As a leathercrafter who's been making custom
harnesses for years, I've made them for the following sorts of individuals:
Lesbians and bisexual women who want to pleasure their female lovers. Butch
dykes (goes without saying). Heterosexual and bisexual women who want to
pleasure male lovers who like anal penetration. Lesbian-identified
pre-operative male-to-female transsexuals who want to strap back their
existing (and often nonfunctional) genitals and use a strap-on to pleasure
their female lovers. And, of course, female-to-male (FTM) transsexuals and
transgender folk of all kinds. And I'd say most of the above, at least, tell
me they love getting their dicks sucked.
        Having someone get down on their knees and blow you is a very
special thing, and it packs a lot of psychological punch in this culture.
Even if the individual in question can't come from it - and it's not
impossible; with a properly crafted harness, I certainly can - the visuals
alone are enough to get most people wet and dripping and hot to go on. It
can also help a nervous beginner with their first cock feel more comfortable
about using it.
        The first time I strapped on a cock to pleasure a lover, I felt
awkward, inexperienced, and a little silly. I was terribly worried I'd do it
wrong, and it felt strange to be losing my virginity all over again at 25.
Fortunately my lover (now my wife) was wonderful about it. It had never
occurred to her to suck on a dildo (her other lovers had been standard men
and women, I was her first FTM) but a friend had suggested it to her while
we were shopping for the right size cock. I got hard on the spot just from
the idea.
        So, the first step: the harness. Most of the ones sold through
mail-order catalogs are lousy. Your best bet is to have one personally
crafted, or if you're good with rivets and snaps, build it yourself. My most
popular model is bascially a G-string of leather (although many prefer the
jock-strap model that leaves the anus uncovered) with an attached circular
strap on the front of the leather triangle and a padded ridge just behind it
on the inside. The cock-holding strap should have several snaps so that it
can expand to different widths; one of the wonderful things about "magic
dick", as a friend of mine calls it, is the ability to come in many sizes
and shapes. The ridge behind it, which I make out of padded leather, should
be centered right where the cock is going to press, and it's a very
individual thing. Obviously, we're suggesting that the wearer can get off by
foreign-object friction on their clitoris here, and not everyone can, but if
you can it's well worth doing. Work with various shapes to see what settles
comfortably between your labia and rubs just the right spot - conical,
ovoid, whatever. Since clitorises are lower on the groin than penises, this
will probably mean that your cock sits a little lower than a flesh one, but
I've never found that to be a problem.
        Some women who don't get off well from friction have found that a
small AA-battery vibrator tucked into a built-in pouch that fits between
their labia works better than a solid piece. It's up to the wearer. There
are also devices being sold now that consist of a double-headed dildo bent
at an angle, so that one end fits into the wearer's vagina and the other can
be used to fuck with. However, everyone I've asked who's tested them says
that as soon as the wearer gets wet and horny, they fall out. If you want to
be penetrated while penetrating (a fun trick) use the G-string style of
harness and use it to hold in any dildoes or buttplugs you might desire.
        And, of course, with all this I've been assuming that the wearer has
female genitals. Note: I'm *not* assuming that they are female. FTMs aren't
female, genitals or no. In fact, pre-hormone FTMs should be warned that
they'll probably need to get their harnesses reworked once the testosterone
kicks in, because the clitoris changes a great deal. It swells to about an
inch or inch-and-a-half, about the size of the end joint of your thumb, and
needs a very different kind of friction. Mine went from liking to be rubbed
to wanting to be grabbed on the new shaft with thumb and finger and be
yanked and/or firmly stroked. (And it wants to be sucked hard instead of
licked.) The external skin became less sensitive, more like an actual penis
(which it very much resembles now, only in miniature) and the internal
erectile tissue became more sensitive to pressure. 
        Some FTMs have had luck with reworking the inner ridge to a
donut-like shape they could slide the new mini-cock in and out of. Others
have found that it responds well to being clamped at the base with a really
wimpy clamp, like a very weakened clothespin or (the best) a test-tube
holder. Rather than hurting, this feels much like a cock ring would on a
flesh penis, and they can be attached to the harness if you like. (To test
clamps while standing in a store: clamp them on the skin between your thumb
and forefinger. If it doesn't hurt in the least, it shouldn't hurt a
thickened post-testosterone mini-cock.) Test tube clamps are about six
inches long and can be jammed right into one of the hollow dildoes currently
on the market (which are great for packing in your pants anyway), and then
they only need a ring around the base of the cock and a strap around the
waist to hold them in place, leaving the rest of the genitals free. I've
found that the gentle pulling is maddeningly wonderful. I can't come that
way, but it keeps me at a just-preorgasmic plateau for a *long* time, which
is its own reward.
        OK, so now your lover's got the dick picked out and strapped on, and
you're kneeling in front of him or her. What's going on in your (and
his/her) head? Maybe s/he's thinking of hirself as male for the first time,
playing with the idea as in a fantasy. (There's nothing like a dick to bring
out the guy in someone, even in a very feminine woman.) Maybe s/he's
thinking of hirself as female, but suddenly with a cock. I know one femme
who likes to strap on and pretend she's a drag queen. People assume that
women don't cross-dress, but I've found that nothing could be further from
the truth. Given a chance and a willing lover, many women will will play
with roles; it's just that finding lovers who will put up with FTM
crossdressing is even harder than finding ones who will put up with MTF
crossdressing. And if you've got an FTM transsexual in front of you, you can
bet that that cock feels like coming home and is pretty damned important to him.
        Here I have to stop and put in an aside to men. Many men like to be
assfucked, even straight guys, because let's face it, if it's done right it
feels great. If you want your wife or girlfriend to assfuck you, it doesn't
mean you're gay, it just means you like the sensation. (Of course, some of
the men I'm talking to will be bisexual, and will simply laugh at this
reassurance.) In fact, your lady may be pretty unsure about this whole
strap-on thing. Well, it's time for a dirty little secret: Lots and lots of
heterosexual women have gay male fantasies. Probably just as many as men who
have lesbian fantasies. At a recent erotica conference, one writer's panel
was full of het women who write gay porn which editors market to het women
as much as to gay men, and het women who loved it, drooled over it, and
snapped it up. Many of them had drag-queen fantasies, too. So if you can
ease up on your "Dammit, I'm straight, dammit!" trip for just a few minutes
in the privacy of your bedroom where nobody's gonna find out anyway, helping
your lady to enact a fantasy like this can be fun. Or, as my wife said while
I wrote this, "Anything that encourages suburban housewives to sodomize
their husbands is a Good Thing."
        So anyway, back to you on your knees. Take hold of the cock and
stroke it like you would a flesh penis. Actually, this is that last time I'm
going to use those last few words. From here on in that's exactly what
you're going to treat it like. Let it become real in your mind. Lick your
palm and slide it up and down the shaft while maintaining eye contact with
your lover. Tell them that you love their cock and you want to make it feel
good.
        If they're a beginner, a cool thing to do is to stop and ask them to
stroke it for you. Tell them, "I want to see you make it good and hard for
me." If they're shy, take their hand and put it on the cock, cover it with
your own and move it up and down the shaft until they get the idea. Then
stop and let them keep going. Stare at the cock and imagine it inside you.
Lick your lips. "Yeah, baby, get it good and hard, yank that dick." Ten to
one, by now, they're getting into it. If their hips start moving, it's working.
        Now lean forward and put your lips around the end of the cock. With
a strap-on, as opposed to a flesh dick, you're going for two things: visuals
and rhythmic pressure. That basically means we're talking deep-throating
here. Luckily "magic dick" comes in lots of sizes, including smaller ones
you should be able to take into your mouth easily. Borrow it first to
practice with at home if you're not sure you can do it.
        Start slow. Tease them. Give your throat a long slow trip down that
cock until your lips touch the harness. If you're worried about them
thrusting, grab their hips or asscheeks to hold them still. Stay down there
as long as you can and then come up. Now start a rhythmic in-out on the
upper half of the shaft. If you absolutely can't take using your throat, put
your hand around the base of the cock and press in time to your shallow
in-out on the head.
        (This is, of course, all assuming that you're not in the middle of
an SM scene, tied up and on your knees in front of an experienced top, in
which case you'd better just open your throat, get your gag reflex out of
the way, and accept a battering.)
        Pay attention to how their pelvis is thrusting. If it isn't, they
may not be enjoying it as much and you might want to stop and ask if
everything's OK. If your lover is OK with having their cunt touched (some
FTMs aren't) put a finger up under the strap and see if you can inch it in.
One dyke I know likes to get practically fisted standing up while having her
cock sucked. In the early stages, stop periodically and lick up and down the
shaft. No, they can't feel it, but it's done for visuals, so make a good
show of it. Be dramatic.
        If you can stand it, in the later stages, if your lover can come
this way, you'll want to let them fuck your mouth with their own rhythm.
Tell them, "Grab my head, honey, fuck my mouth, do it baby," and then try to
open your throat. If need be, you can bite down on it to keep it from going
too deep, although if you leave too many deep teeth marks in someone's
precious cock they may not be too pleased with you later.
        This can end one of two ways: either they come (and you'd better be
prepared for a few hard thrusts and/or some grinding deep in your throat) or
they don't come, in which case just turn sideways and drop to all fours,
offering the hole(s) at your other end, and it'll go on from there.
        Have a good time and make sure to tell your friends about it, too.

Raven Kaldera