Well shit, I guess all my money troubles are over just not the way I planned damn it. It all sounded so simple and easy when Jeff had first approached me. “Look Hannah, you’re going to be there anyway, all you have to do is pick up the bottle and put it in with the rest of the samples from the field station and everybody will think its just more ground up rock or some other shit. Nobody will look close enough to notice the difference, what’ll you have from the research you’ll be doing, two, maybe three hundred bottles and jars and cans of all this weird stuff. Who is going to notice one in all that? You’ll make enough to pay for the rest of your schooling and maybe have some left over.”

This guy showed up, I gave him a couple of our sample jars, and just before we left he dropped them off. I figured there was drugs in them but really didn’t know, none of my business anyway. I was the last to leave and one of the things I had to do was ship our samples and gear home. I had it all at the dock and had just signed all the papers when the cops came in and arrested me. Stealing state secrets was the charge and I was the one caught. The bastards had set me up. The guy that had given me the filled jars had been followed and I had been watched. They even knew which jars were the right ones. There was a closed trial [if that’s what you call it. No lawyer, no defense, no jury, just these three guys in robes and masks.] and I was found guilty [big surprise]. I figured that the school or the US government would get me out but both just washed their hands of me. I waited forever as my trial and guilt was reviewed by somebody somewhere.

Time is funny, a clock ticks at the same speed all the time, right? So why did the time I was waiting for the review take so long? Every day was a year long. Then the warden or whatever he was came to my cell and dropped the bomb. Both the trial and my sentence had been upheld. Sentence, what sentence? Nobody ever said anything about a sentence. What was I sentenced to? HANGING TO DEATH, WHAT THE HELL, THEY”RE GOING TO HANG ME FOR LETTING SOME GUY STICK A COUPLE OF BOTTLES IN MY STUFF, OH MY GOD!!!!

He just stood as I had a screaming fit and bounced off the walls. Again strange time I would have sworn that I recovered in a very short time but he acted tired from waiting and slowly repeated himself. “Hannah, in two days you will be taken out and executed by hanging by your neck until you are dead. You will be naked and it will be public and televised. There is nothing or no one that can or will save you, there will be no last minute stays or pardons, and you will die. There will be no visitors, no priest, no fancy last supper, just a bath, an enema, cuffs and chains, and death. I will see you in two days.”

Where was that slow motion time when I needed it? The clock must have been buzzing instead of ticking. I spent the last two days of my life trying to make sense of it all but it seemed that there was no time, I was woke up with breakfast and even before I had finished it was time for lights out. I lay on my bunk trying to sleep and its morning. I close my eyes and I see a gallows or a noose coming closer and closer. God I do not want to die. I do not want to die with a rope around my neck and naked and a lot of strangers watching. And I sure do not want to die today.

The warden returns with a pair of minions, one a guard with cuffs and chains and the other something else. The second one was the only on to speak. “Good morning Hannah, I am your executioner. I realize that this is a very stressful time for you but if you will just follow instructions, it will all be over soon with a minimum of fuss and pain. We can do it the easy way or we can do it the hard way. It’s up to you.” What, there is an easy way to be hanged. I have a better idea; let’s just forget the whole thing. The look in his eyes as he waits warns me this guy does not have a sense of humor and somehow he can make my death a whole lot worse if he wants.

“W What do you want me to do?” Now that the time is here things move at a weird mixture of fast and slow and timelessness. My words seem to tumble out in a rush and his sound as if his batteries have run down. I am cuffed, leg ironed, and we leave my cell. I don’t want to leave my little snug safe home and I turn to look at it one last time. The thought that I will never return hits me and I almost fall. The awful truth has at last become only too clear, I am going to die. In a short time, I will no longer exist. My body will still be somewhere but I will be gone, snuffed out by a puff of stray wind. Now I see both the gallows and the noose even with my eyes open and every short step brings them closer.

We arrive at a shower room where I am given a complete and total washing. Inside and out. Starting with the first enema of my life, also the last. What an ugly thing even if I had done it to myself. To have it done to me by two large men while I stand helpless in chains only made it uglier. I could not spread my legs and was forced to shit myself before I was hosed off and scrubbed clean. I had expected that someone would take liberties with my body but nothing was done beyond what was necessary to clean me. I caught a few smiles and I am sure it was an enjoyable time for them but at least they acted like pros. God it felt good to be clean, even cold water was wonderful as the filth rinsed away. Hey, guys do my hair, huh. It was not to be, why wash what is not going to be there. I was shorn, clipped, and shaved until the only hair on me was my eyebrows. Head, armpits, legs, and pussy, all bald. As we passed a mirror I saw myself, damn I like this look. Makes my neck look longer and sexy, can really see my pussy lips- nice ones too, the chains somehow make me look really hot and I fell my nipples crinkle. What the hell, I’m going to be hung and I’m getting horny, god is that weird or what.

A short walk and we are in the back of a truck. I am parked in a chair that is bolted to the floor and a short chain goes around my neck and is hooked to the wall while a seat belt holds me in place. Shit my last ride and no windows, figures. Again, the weird time, the truck seems to be hardly moving but my thoughts race. I notice little things and seem to have all the time in the world to watch them while at the same time my thoughts run a light speed. All the same thoughts, me dropping through the trap, my neck snapping like a dry twig, my body jerking and twitching, me struggling for one last breath, on and on and over and over along with the constant reframe - I don’t want to die, don’t kill me.

I have no idea of who far we rode, could have been one mile or a hundred. The ride took too long and was too short but it is now over and as the door opens, I am unhooked, unbelted, and led out. It is a lovely day, bright sun, gentle breeze. Somewhere a bird sings, stupid bird, doesn’t it know I’m here to be killed, no reason to be singing. Lots of people, big crowd, all for me. Some of the nearest and bravest reach out and touch me, not in friendship or in kindness but to grab my tits or pat my ass. I’m going to die and these bastards are copping cheap feels, son of a bitch. I am poked and prodded all the way to the scaffold steps. I notice that most of the men seem to all have large lumps in their pants and no few of them are playing pocket pool. The bastards are getting off on my being hanged, the pricks. Even some of the women are quietly and gently rubbing themselves. What the hell is my death the reason for an orgy? Seems like everyone but me is going to get off, doesn’t seem fair.

We stop at the base of the steps and while my leg irons are being removed I count, yep thirteen. What am I doing, I’m only a couple minutes away from death and I’m counting steps. My mine splits, one half is gibbering over and over the mantra about not wanting to die while the other half ignores the reality of the situation and busies itself with small things like the number of steps and the hardons around me. Damn stupid bird is still singing too. I am half led half carried up the steps and at the top, I shake off their hands. I will at least walk the last few steps of my life on my own, fuck them all.

Somehow, the executioner has gotten to the noose ahead of me and is waiting with a gentle smile as he watches me approach. “Come Hannah, it is almost over now, be brave for just a while longer.” Somehow, in some strange way the man who is going to kill me seems like a friend. Maybe it is because we age joined in an intimacy that is so close and intense, almost lovers but even closer. I give my lover my body and maybe my heart but this man will get my life. He takes my arm and guides me to my proper place. He is so gentle he fills my sprit with peace even as he places the hard rough rope noose about my neck and snugs it up against the skin of my throat. Wait, I thought that the knot went behind my ear, not under my chin. And where is the slack that will allow me to drop until my neck snaps? While I am wondering about the placement of the noose, he has uncuffed and unchained my hands and refastened them with a longer chain running between my legs. I now have enough slack to almost reach my neck. Why? “Hannah, you have been found guilty of serious crimes against the state and have been sentenced to die here and now. It is your sentence to be hanged until the life has left your body plus one night and a day. You noose will be pulled up until your feet leave the scaffold and you will choke out your life. Make your peace with your god now, your time is short.” He moves closer and whispers to me “I’m sorry Hannah; until we arrived here I thought that they would allow me to end your life quickly and cleanly. They have decided to give the crowd a real show and hang you as slowly and as painfully as possible. I have no choice and I am truly sorry. Please forgive me both for lying to you and for having to take your life? I shall pray for you. Go with god little one.”

Now I know and I stand panicked as the awful truth hits me. They are going to torture me to death. Not a clean quick drop into nothing but a slow awful horrible struggle for life’s breath. My unchained feet try to turn me to run but as I start to take the first step, the rope tightens and lifts me. The knot lifts my chin as my weight transfers from my feet to the killer noose. I am hanging; my feet will never tread the earth again. I try to inhale and find I can get some air. Hey, maybe if I hang quietly and do not fight just maybe I can live. I force myself to be still and save my strength for important things like breathing. A second and third breath, hey this may work. By the tenth I notice the tightness in my chest, kind of like the feeling you get after swimming a long ways underwater, you know getting air but just not enough, needing more. By twenty, I am starting to doubt the plan as the burning in my lungs grows into a fire that threatens to overwhelm me. I can hear my breaths squeak and whistle past the place where the rope has narrowed my windpipe. Spit is starting to block my throat and I try to swallow it but I cannot. I try to cough it up but that also fails to clear it out of the way. A desperate breath pulls it into my lungs and I cough without result. All of my hard won control flies away and the panic hovering at the back of my mind takes control. My body is in control now and what is left of my mind watches helplessly. My hands pull against the chain, trying to reach the choking rope but all that happens is the chain disappears between my pussy lips. I kick, run, and try to jump. Trying to run away from the awful death bearing down on me, jump to try to loosen the horrible stranglehold the rope has on my life, kick just to be doing something even as I know that there can be only one ending. I’m still getting air but in smaller and smaller gasps and sips. My vision narrows until it seems I am looking down a pipe. At the other end of the pipe, there are clouds and sunshine but at my end there is only pain, agony, and ugly death. My mind is still trying but my body is weakening and my once strong movements are now just shudders and twitches. The pipe closes and I am left in the dark. I feel wetness on my legs but it is unimportant as the darkness is pierced by a blinding white light. I marvel at its beauty and somehow all my struggles seem small and unimportant and I go to the light.

I really hate my job on days like this. Very few deserve to die like this and I hate it when they make a liar out of me. I force myself to watch as the rope pulls her body into the air. I admire her courage as she forces herself to remain still and husbands her strength. I know that it is useless and worse than useless for it will only prolong her pain and suffering. Too soon, she will lose that control and the need for air will rule her and she will put on the show she is dying for. The show that the bastards will use to prop up their corrupt rule, the show that all these useless bastards have come to see. What they will see as they fuck each other tonight. Already there are both men and women playing with themselves and I am sure that there couples watching on TV as they couple, making copies so this poor girl can entertain them time after time. Good her control has failed and she starts to thrash and kick, go girl- use up as much of the oxygen as you can as fast as you can. I want to grab those lovely legs and pull down but I cannot. I can do nothing to help her except pray for her. Pray and hate the bastards that put her here and those enjoying her agony. God she is a fighter. Nobody can keep it up for much longer and she soon slows and stops. Like an old wind up toy, she is running down toward the end. Her arms hang limp except for the grasping of her fingers. Almost as if she is trying to hold onto the sands of her life as they slip away. The kicks are now just twitches and it will not be long now until she will give her last shudder and the golden stream will announce her death to all. Ah yes there it is. Go with god Hannah, there has to be a better place waiting.

By her sentence I must leave her hanging but I do not have to leave her to suffer the indignities that some might wish to inflect on her. I have my men guard her with orders not to allow any near her and I return as soon as I can to lower her down and remove her from the sight of those who would enjoy her further. As I said sometimes, I hate my job.