The Lance Saga, by Black Falcon Pancakes and Amusement Parks Lance decided to stop at International House of Pancakes for some fun and relaxation. After checking his digimap he located the closest one and drove there rapidly. He arrived a little while later, parked, and went in. Lance waited to be seated, then followed an employee as he showed him to a seat. Just then a guy and two girls entered the establishment and took seats one booth down from Lance. One of the girls had a pony tail and the other had shorter hair, and both were dirty blonde. The guy was just some dude who looked wimpy. They began talking and laughing and Lance was irritated by their immature behavior. Then one of them mocked an older gentleman who was hard of hearing and sat a few rows down from them. Lance got up and walked to their table. "Can I take your order please." he said, pretending to be a waiter. "We aren't ready to order yet." the man said. "Well you all seem to have a problem. Isn't that right, bitch?" Lance said to the girl with the pony tail. "We have no problem." she said, disturbed by his manner. "Well you have one now!!" screamed Lance as he grabbed her hair and pulled her out of the seat. Lance put her close to his face and bit into her lower lip severing it. She screamed in pain and blood pulsated out and ran down to her shirt. Lance grabbed her with both hands and threw the stupid woman into the window shattering it. Her limb body fell to the outside of the restaurant, large glass shards imbedded her in plush flesh. "What the hell are you doing???" cried the man, trying to protect the other girl. Lance grabbed a knife off the table and quickly stuck it through the top of the guy's hand, pinning it like a bulletin board onto the wooden tabletop. "AHHHHHH!!" he squealed grasping his impaled appendage. Lance then grabbed the other girl and slung her across the table with her ass facing him, ripped off her pants and violently raped her pussy with powerful, vicious thrusts. Her body was on top of the guy's arm further pinning him down and while fucking her Lance beat the man with a bat on the ribs cracking them and causing hideous open bone fractures. He spasmed, spitting up tonnes of blood and expired in agony. Lance continued fucking his meat and she cried out for help but he just bashed her head into the table and spread her legs wide apart. Then a female waiter came over to see what was going on and Lance pulled out a knife and took a swipe at her. The blow caught the bitch right on the chest and her breasts split open spilling fat and blood onto the floor. She screamed in shock and Lance finished her off by stabbing her in the gut all while still raping his female pet. Blood and flesh covered the floor and table, and two were dead. Lance soon came in his meat's pussy and pulled out, turned her around and put her on hands and knees. He moved forward and rammed his dick down the bitch's throat and choked her to death with it. Once she was dead he yanked out his penis and put his pants on and walked toward the exit. Several people got up and tried to stop him. "What's this crap? A citizen's arrest?" Lance said and laughed. "You ain't leaving, killer." said a man from the measly group. "So what are you, a killer of killers?" Lance suddenly flew into a rage and images of death flashed through his mind as he wildly slashed at the gathering with an enormous knife. The blows were on target catching one of the guys in the mid-chest. He went down and the rest soon followed, blood gushing from the phenomenal wounds. "Fucking punks." said Lance while spitting on their bodies. He walked out of the building and raped the bitch that he had thrown out the window earlier. Her pink, juicy pussy felt good as Lance's giant cock slid in and out of it. Once she was degraded enough to satisfy Lance, he pulled his cock out of her and strangled the young girl to death with electrical cord. Afterward he masturbated and ejaculated onto her dead face, then tossed the corpse into a nearby creek bed. He walked back to his car but was approached by a police officer. "Good day sir, can I see some I.D.?" said the pig. "Why, is there a problem?" inquired Lance. "Just doing a routine check is all." Lance reached into his pocket and pulled out a digital I.D. which he handed to the cop. As the lawman took it, Lance grabbed hold of his hand and crushed it like a salad crouton. The cop screamed out in pain and Lance yanked on his arm dislocating his shoulder then rammed his knee into the patrolman's gut and dropped him to the ground with an Aikido move. Lance looked down at the helpless man and shook his head as he pulled out a .45 and blew the cop's brains out. He then jumped in his car and headed someplace more exciting, and with a lot of people. He chose Paramount King's Dominion headed toward the amusement park. Lance arrived in about an hour, but there were no good parking spaces, so he rammed and blew up a few cars to make room, and parked. Lance got out of his vehicle and went up to a family and grabbed one of their tickets. "Hey, give that back, that's ours!" the sissy husband shouted. "I won't give you the ticket, but I'll give you something else!" He spun the person around and did a flying round house kick right on the man's back, cracking it into five pieces. As the man screamed in pain, Lance stomped on his leg and broke it, causing the smashed bone to explode out of his torn limb. He knocked him down and continued walking toward the entrance after stabbing his wife twenty times in the head and savagely raping their only daughter, who was nothing more than a fifteen year old defenseless lamb with a very tight twat. When Lance finished with the rape, he viciously cut her throat and laughed as her arteries spewed warm blood on his face. Once she was deceased, Lance used her shirt to clean his face, then walked through the park entrance and stopped. As he was gazing around the plaza, he thought "This is going to be so much fun!" Lance headed toward the Berzerker and noticed a long line. He hates lines, and as he walked by, he dropped a hypergrenade in some poor fuckhead's pocket. He walked away fast and then heard an explosion which sent blood and severed limbs splattering everywhere. He laughed, and walked up to the ride and shot the operator. Lance put it in high speed and it kept going around in circles until it broke. The huge carriage flew up in the air and people came flying out of it and crushed on the ground as the boat landed on their already mangled corpses. Lance was having more murderous impulses, and went to a refreshment stand. There was a skinny wimp in line and Lance said "Get the fuck out of my way, you fucking rail!" "What did you call me? I hope you weren't talking to me." the wimp said. Then the man suddenly jumped in the air and tried to ax kick Lance. The dude's leg simply bounced off Lance's C- particle shield and the guy fell to the ground like a klutz. "Smooth move, exlax! Where did you learn that, Kim's Karate? Ah, ha, ha, ha!" Lance grabbed the foolish wimp off the ground and rammed his elbow into the sissy's jaw smashing it to bits. Then, as the person wailed in pain, Lance did a flying knee right on top of the wimp's head crushing it like a grapefruit. Lance threw the blood covered carcass into the woods and then returned to the refreshment stand. He asked for a Fanta grape drink, and drank it while raping the young girl who served the drink to him. "You dumb bitch! I think there's something wrong with your drink machine. Maybe you should take a closer look at it!" he yelled at her as Lance rammed the girl's head through the glass container holding the orange drink. Glass fragments imbedded into her soft scalp, and she slowly and agonizingly drowned in the soda because Lance held her head in the drink for twenty minutes until the girl's body stopped wiggling and twitching. He put the soaked, dead female cadaver underneath the refreshment stand and continued walking around while seeing magnificent looking teenage girls and young, soon to be raped, women everywhere. About ten minutes later, Lance started to get horny again and followed two seductive french girls into a bathroom. They both had on bikinis and had perfectly tanned bodies with huge, throbbing tits. They had long blonde hair that was slightly curly at the tips and had nice juicy thighs and a perfect figure. One of them had a g-string halfway up her ass and Lance told them that this was a custom in the U.S. and felt their tight butts. Their buttocks was so silky and wet that his love rod became completely rigid in a matter of seconds. They seemed confused, so Lance made one of them sit on the toilet and he sat on her legs forcing them to spread wide apart. He kissed her and felt under her bikini top, those huge tan tits and then he mashed his dick against her with his pants still on while rubbing her trembling butt with his hands. He took off his pants, grabbed her thighs, ripped off her bikini bottom with his teeth and bounced her on his dick until her pussy was stretched like a fucking rubber band. Then he ate her tits until they were cherry red and sufficiently bruised. After he finished with the first foreign bitch, Lance seized the other one's hair and yanked her down to the piss covered floor. He grabbed her g-string and tore it off, licked her tight sweaty ass, and spit in her pussy. She moaned loud while he fingered her sweet vagina, and as Lance punched her with cinder blocks. He soon let the dumb slut suck his dick until it was red and next he buttfucked the bitch until she was totally sore in the ass. Then he picked her up by her alluring pubic hair and ate her tasty cum filled fucking hole. He hit her, and left the two raped and confused girls begging for more of this bizarre, kinky treatment from Lance. He merely said "Bitches leave." and threw them out. After which he took a piss and left the bathroom. He decided to go the Haunted River boat ride, and see what was going on. He started walking that way when he noticed two park security officers trailing him. "Now for some real fun!" he thought to himself. As he got closer to the ride, he got an idea. Lance slowed down and let the guy and girl catch up. He heard the Haunted River boat coming down the hill so he grabbed one of the guards and threw the dude on the track. The boat hit him with amazing force causing his body to fragment violently into a pile of mangled guts covering the boat with fresh, bright red blood. The people on the ride screamed in horror and were covered in the man's guts. Lance took his sword and slashed and cut them all into little pieces until there was no one left alive. Then he grabbed the other guard, the female, and threw her in the blood quenched car. "Let's go for a ride, bitch. You can pretend you're a horse and I'll mount you." Lance said as he jumped in the boat and harshly raped her while slapping the crap out of the silly bitch. Then he stuffed a hypergrenade into her used pussy and pushed the car back into the tunnel. It exploded so forcefully that it almost brought down the whole mountain as her body tore into flaming bits of what used to be a person. People started screaming as they saw what the sadistic rapist had done and he just yelled "What the fuck are you looking at!!" Lance ran from the scene and headed toward an arcade. He kicked the change machine and $10 in credits flew out. He picked up the money and went to play his favorite game, Virtual Reality Xenophobe 5000. He was having fun playing the game until a huge black security officer entered the arcade and unwisely tried to grab his jacket but instead his hand hit Lance's shield. Lance turned to face the man and said "Is there a problem?" "A problem, you killed three people, and deathfucked a girl you bastard lardfuck! I'm gonna' teach you a lesson you'll never forget!" "We'll see about that, you fucking piece of shit!" Lance said, as he did a spin sweep kick knocking the large man to the ground. The dude quickly recovered and attempted a kick on Lance. He dodged it, dropped to the ground, and kicked the man's leg. He flinched and punched Lance, but missed. Lance grabbed one of his bootknives and sliced the man's leg at the knee. The man fell in pain and Lance tried to stomp on his head. But the tough guy rolled out of the way. Lance got mad and screamed "Enough games!! Time to meet your maker!" He took a fifteen centimeter kitchen knife, severed the man's penis, and rammed it down his throat, choking him. "Who are you supposed to be, John Wayne Bobbitt? Ha, ha, ha!" Lance said to the stupid fuck. Then he drove the jagged knife into the man's skull collapsing it like an egg, and that was the end of this little misunderstanding. Then he grabbed the dead guard's mexican wife who just happen to be standing nearby and told the sexy female what he did to her husband. The girl hollered in shock so Lance raped the bitch and poured concentrated acid into her eyes. Then he cut out her tongue and playfully slapped the girl's face with it several times. "Time to die, bitch!" He forcefully stabbed the young lady in her lower back fifty times with a serrated hunting knife and the girl fell to the ground as blood poured from her already bloody mouth and punctured internal organs. She bled to death in minutes and Lance laughed as he watched the young woman suffer terribly on the dirty arcade floor. "No one fucks with me!" Lance roared at the group of people who were watching his hideous activities. "What are you staring at, fuckers! Get out of here! The show is over!" he yelled, and the small crowd quickly dispersed. He kicked the dead girl's bloody body and some of her guts spilled out so he smiled. Then Lance ran to the parking lot and drove away laughing, without looking back. Written by Black Falcon