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 TRUE STORY5 sucide f



   We can only guess what goes on in the mind when all hope is lost, when
life becomes too much to bear.  A pretty young girl, nineteen, beloved
youngest daughter, eats dinner with her parents.  She is happier and more
outgoing than she has been in a while.  She goes upstairs to finish her
collage paper due tomorrow then out to the old barn behind the house.  Her
bare feet make no sound as she leaves the house and slowly walks to the
barn.  The barn once was the center of a well run farm.  Now it collects
the flotsam and jetsam that old places acquire with time.  The old hay fork
still hangs from the iron track at the peak of the roof, held there by the
heavy hand hewn rafters.  The rope is soft with age as it lays coiled
neatly on the top of the grain storage room at the end of the barn.  It is
the rope that catches her eye and her interest.  A ladder is leaning
against the side of the grain room and she climbs to the top.  Her eyes
judge the height and the angle of the rope.  We will wonder what she was
thinking later for now she removes her tee shirt and shorts.  She is naked
underneath them.  She stands there in the fading light and studies the
rope, picks up the end and feels it between her fingers, lets it slid over
her skin.  She is a good looking girl, well built with large breasts and a
fine shape.  A blonde country princess.  She has had several boyfriends and
is no stranger to the effect that her body has on males.  She has enjoyed
the experience of sharing her body with others but somehow there never is
the connection between souls that she hungers for.  Her hands wander over
her body as if she is feeling it for the first time.  She is a still life
study as she stands with the rope draped over her shoulder and her proud
breasts shadowed in the last light of the dying day.  Eyes see only
something unknown as her hands move by their own accord to knot the rope
around her neck.  Feet carry her to the edge and she stands both at the
edge of the twelve foot drop and at the edge of eternity.  One last look
around at the place where she played as a small child and she steps off the
edge.  The iron fork slams into the pulley system when her falling body
pulls the rope tight.  She is jerked by the makeshift noose but just before
her spine breaks the rope fails, weakened by the years and the mice it
breaks instead.  She falls to the floor and lays stunned.  Then she
realizes that she cannot breathe.  All thoughts of suicide are forgotten as
her fingers claw at the noose.  The knot has been jammed tightly around her
neck by her fall and her fingers fail to find the grip that will allow her
to loosen it.  Nails plow furrows in her skin as she struggles to her feet.
She runs blindly as the panic overpowers her.  She runs into things, trips,
stumbles, staggers, and tries to call out for help.  Finally she falls for
the last time and as she fails to regain her footing the end comes.  With
her face darkening and her body failing she lays there until she gives a
few last twitches and with a small quiver she fulfills her wish for death.