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H O W T O B U T T F U C K
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Okay. Everybody makes jokes or makes faces at anal sex. The ultimate
insult in many cultures is for one to be invited to shove something up
one's ass. A hefty minority of the world's population finds this
thought to be more or less pleasurable.
I've been taking it up the ass and returning the favor since I was 14.
I'm now 45, so I have a fair amount of experience with this joyful
proclivity. I wouldn't be doing it if it didn't feel good, okay?
Anal sex is one of those things in life that you either like a lot or
you can't stand the thought of. A person's reaction to the subject is
colored a lot by how he or she feels about his or her body. (In order
to avoid tedious phrasing, I'm going to use the masculine pronouns
from here on; but I want to make it clear that 'she' and 'her' are
included except when speaking of male-only structures.)
If you feel good about every part of your body, regarding no part of
it as unclean, "filthy" or shameful, then you have a lot less problems
with oddball pursuits whether you're considering them personally or
just being informed about what other folks like and do.
In the male anatomy, it is possible to excite the prostate gland from
behind. Check out the placement of the rectum, bladder and prostate
in an anatomical drawing of the region and you'll see why this is
possible. It's not for the embarrassment angle that a doctor puts a
cotted finger in your butt at a physical. He can tell a lot about the
condition of your digestive terminus and your genital-urinary system
by feeling around in there.
There is a minority of women who like being butt-fucked. The ones who
really go for this often say they get a better orgasm from it than
from the usual penetration. A straight male friend of mine would
rather run it up a poop chute on a woman than into a snatch. He
cultivates several females who like getting it that way because his
wife won't cooperate. One of his girlfriends practically has to be
tied and gagged to keep neighbors from calling the police when she
gets into it, screaming and thrashing the way she does. And Jose'
couldn't be happier!
A sage once said that there is no greater pleasure on earth than
taking a really good shit. I'd say he was a candidate for some
butt-fucking. The same sensation of that cable sliding out could be
his over and over again if he'd just go bottom-up and get pumped.
Dicks are bigger than turds, right? Not necessarily. Get turd-locked
on cheese sometime and you'll have a new appreciation for the joys of
childbirth... And who wants to stick their dick into an asshole and
get shit all over it? Nobody, that's who. And it isn't necessary for
that to happen, and it won't happen if the two know what they're
doing. A properly functioning rectum is empty unless you should
really be heading for the outhouse. It is when the rectum fills that
you get the urge to go dump it someplace. So all the crap about
butt-fucking being basically nothing but fudge-packing is all so much
... shit.
Being fucked will hurt. Not if you are ready for it, and not if you
know how to be fucked and not if whoever is fucking you knows how to
do it. Well, if it's so complicated, why bother? Because doing it
right, if you find you do like it, is so rewarding in terms of a
mind-blowing orgasm. Or two orgasms. Or maybe three or four...
The active partner should always wear a condom. He should do this
even if there were no such thing as AIDS and other diseases. (You
don't hear much about syphilis and gonorrhea these days, but they can
fuck you up pretty good, too! -- even if they *are* curable.) It's
also easy to get a non-specific urethral infection from going up an
ass unprotected.
You'll need a plentiful supply of a reliable lubricant. Unlike a
vagina, a rectum has no lubrication of its own. You should use a
water-soluble lube. The best is KY or other water-soluble "surgical"
lubricant. Another very good, but more expensive, one is PerPair.
PerPair is more fluid than KY, but it is much slicker, and less will
be needed.
Well, if I have to go to bed with my "socks" on to fuck an ass, what's
the point? The point is that any lessening of sensation you have from
the presence of a condom will be made up from the supreme heat and
tightness of that chute you're going into.
Whoever is supplying the ass to be fucked can insure both parties a
better and cleaner ride if he (or she) avoids highly-seasoned or
aromatic food for 24 hours before the session. The passive partner
should also "douche" before the ession by taking a one-pint enema and
repeating it once. This will flush out any remnants of yesterday's
vittles and also leave the rectum wet so that the lube will spread and
become super-slick.
Active partners will get little more than a yelp from their
co-conspirator and maybe a kick in the nuts if they try to just shove
their business in and start pumpin' away. Anuses are a bit of a
one-way street by tradition. Your anus will appreciate some
preparation before being filled with the Bullet of Love. The best way
to pave the road is to do some well-lubed finger-fucking. The anus
will dilate somewhat when the receptive partner has relaxed.
Calling someone an asshole as a way of telling them they are stupid is
incorrect. There is nothing stupid about an asshole. You can't fool
an asshole into opening up until the sub-conscious mind that it's
attached to is convinced that everything is going to be all right.
Relaxation in the passive partner is key. You really have to like
someone to let them fuck your ass.
Okay. You've douched, he's put on a cocksock and slicked it up, and
he (or you) have fingered your asshole to dilate it a bit. He puts
the head of his cock to your butthole and pushes... NO! He HOLDS it
there and waits for your hole to begin relaxing enough for the head to
slip between the two rings of muscle. You can alternately clench and
release your ass muscles to aid the process -- sort like having your
asshole "chew" on his dick head. Sometimes it works better to bear
down as though you were trying to expell something from your ass. As
you open up, he gets more of his cock into you, slowly. If he rams it
all in at once, you'll want to kick his nuts down the street when you
get your breath back.
Boy, what a lot of fooling around and a bunch of work, for what? And
can both of you keep a straight face while all this is going on? The
second time you successfully fuck an ass or have yours fucked, you
will. By then you'll know if you like it or not. And if you do,
you'll really like it. The first time at anything is usually a
bummer. That's why the two of you need to care enough for each other
to be considerate and careful.
Once your cock is buried in that ass up to your nuts, you'll know the
real meaning of hot and tight. And if you're the one getting it, try
pulling back when he pulls out. He'll think you're trying to pull his
cock off, and he'll love you for it. Use your ass muscles to squeeze
that dick. Want to tease your passive partner? Pull your dick out
until just the head is inside. Now pop your dickhead in and out of
the anal muscle rings several times. This is a good way to bring your
passive partner to a resounding climax.
The traditional way to fuck a butt is to have the receiver lying
face-down. The trajectory is better if the passive partner lies
face-up and puts his or her ankles behind the active's ears... And
while you're both fucking for Old Glory, don't forget to play with
other things like tits and uninvolved genitalia.
An old whore trick to get a guy to finish his business is for her to
tickle the john's ass with a finger. Not polite, but effective. The
lesson is that if the passive plays with the active's asshole, it can
increase the active's ardor.
For a nice liesurely fuck, the two of you can lie on your sides,
facing the same direction. Those actives who like ramming into nice,
springy voluptuous buns will favor this position. This also leaves
both hands free for horkin' some tit action. Guys can have erotically
sensitive tits just as women often do. Some people get turned on when
they have their belly-button tongggued. Whatever is there to play
with that feels good, use it and do it.
Happy butt-fucking!