November 25th, 2002 November 25th, 2002 Dear Maggie, Lately I’ve been seriously thinking back over my life, and I realize that I’ve never had a girlfriend. It’s never been an issue with me, I’m used to being alone. But now that I’m thinking about it, I’d really like to have someone to talk to, someone to smile with and laugh with. Someone who really makes me feel good inside, and whom I do that in return for. So now I’m thinking, "Where can I find someone like this?" Now I’ve never been religious or really gone to church except on Christmas and Easter, but I pray that someday soon I’ll be able to find someone to make me fall to my knees with passion and desire. I’ll respect her and give her everything she’s ever dreamed of. I know that she’s out there, I just don’t know where yet. Have you ever had this dilemma with guys? I’m sure you have, I’m sure every one has a dilemma with love at some point in their life. When I was 13, I used to have what some teenagers would call a ‘crush’ on the most beautiful young woman to ever walk the face of this earth! Then when I was about to get up the courage to at least let her know of my feelings for her, her father got a job in Silicon Valley, California. I don’t think that would work out too well, me in Atlanta, Georgia and her in Silicon Valley, California. Since then I’ve pretty much just kept the topic of girlfriends out of my head. Though my father told me that girls were not something to worry about until at least college, and he didn’t want to see me bringing girls home, I think I’m going to find a girlfriend anyway. I mean, when has he ever done anything even slightly decent for me? Never, so why should I listen to him? One time I told him that there was no way I would listen to him because he can’t even take his own advice. He gave me a beatin’ for that one. School lately has been more and more difficult for me. I find myself in these dazes where I’m looking back on things that have happened in my past. One was about my mother, I was six at the time I think. Her and I were out on the front lawn playing with these sticky mitt things where you throw a tennis ball and they catch it on their sticky mitt. Well the ball missed my mitt and I ran out into the road to get it and a car almost hit me. My mom grabbed me out of the way less than 2 seconds before the car would have hit me. I wonder if I’d even still be alive if I had been hit, or if my mother could have been hit while trying to save me. I get rather disturbed when I think that because I know if she had died then everything that happened over the next year would have been different. I wouldn’t have caught my father with Lori, and he wouldn’t have beaten me. He wouldn’t even have probably met Lori, since Lori had worked with my mom for about two months before my mom died. At times I despise Lori for this because maybe if she hadn’t come around my dad would never have had that affair and I wouldn’t have gotten beaten. That’s all I can say right now, I’m getting rather choked up talking about mom. Sincerely, Mike December 3rd, 2002 Dear Maggie, It’s been a while since I’ve written, so I figured I’d write you the events of the last week or so. Last week Tuesday after I finished writing to you, I went downstairs to find my stepmother sitting in the kitchen crying. Well of course I was concerned, seeing as I’ve never known Lori to cry before. When I asked her what was wrong, she took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. Her response was, "Its your father. He’s so drunk all the time...and when I tried to tell him that he needs to quit, he hit me." She moved her hand off her cheek and I saw the bright red shiner in roughly the shape of a fist. Though I had never been very close with her I wrapped my arms around her in a comforting hug and told her that I knew what it was like. She looked at me with wide, surprised eyes. "He’s hit you before?!" "Many times, Lori. My father is a very abusive person, and I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him." With that Lori stood and gave me a sympathizing look. I knew this was the end of our conversation and turned away to make something to eat. Finding there was nothing to eat, I returned to my room and slept until 6:30 the next morning. Of course I panicked thinking I was going to be late for school and showered and dressed quickly. On my way out the door as I passed Lori I gave her a quick kiss on her good cheek, which I think may have surprised her a bit, but she smiled none the less. Once in school I quickly took my seat towards the back of the class and put my head down waiting for the teacher’s usual lecture on sitting up and paying attention. A few minutes after the bell rang, and after the teacher had given me the lecture, quite the surprise came to me. A short girl with long thick black hair, bright green eyes, and at least a 36c bra size rushed into the class room, her ivory cheeks flushed slightly. The teacher looked up and asked, "Sara?" "Yes ma’am, I’m sorry I’m late...I got lost." "It’s alright Sara, you can take a seat towards the back of the room." To my surprise she sat down in the seat next to mine, and smiled at me shyly. She was dressed in a long black velvet dress with black lace trim, the low cut in the front showing the tops of her voluptuous breasts. Mind you I was obviously very attracted to her, so I tried to smile back, probably making myself look like a love sick fool. The entire class I kept peeking over at her wanting to say something, but not knowing what. Well that class ended and it was time to go to Science, sadly parting with the beautiful young lady. I could have smacked myself for not talking to her! Well the next day wasn’t much better, though I did have the courage to say hello to her when she sat down at her desk. She flashed a smile and responded with a quiet "Hello." Meanwhile back at home Lori and my father were fighting more and more, the yelling getting louder and louder. Countless times I heard doors slamming. Thursday afternoon I heard Lori scream for help and I ran downstairs as fast as I possibly could. I found my father holding her up by her throat, I heard him tell her to never cry for help again or he’d kill her. I yanked him off her and punched him as hard as I could in the gut. He stumbled and held his stomach. I helped Lori up and told her to go call the police. My father yelled out, "Don’t you remember what I told you bitch?!" I slammed into him and knocked him hard against the wall. When he knew that I wasn’t about to stop, he shook his fist at me and said "You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into boy!" With this he charged at me and when I tried to move out of the way I tripped on my shoelace and fell; hitting my head on the wooden floorboards. He grabbed my left ankle and dragged me across the room, slamming me into a wall. The cops arrived finally and my father was pulled away from me. Lori just stood in the corner trembling and crying, so I went to her and hugged her. What she said next was one of the few things that had ever given me hope in my life. "Mike, I’m leaving your father...and I’m going to take you with me. Is that alright with you?" I nodded my head and she thanked me for saving her. I had gotten a nosebleed when I was slammed into the wall, so I went to the bathroom to clean up. I knew my father would only be spending one night in jail for this and he’d be back the next day. Next day I made sure I was out the door for school early, not wanting to see my father. Sara was sitting at her desk reading when I got there. Finally I got up the courage to ask her what she was reading. She smiled and responded, "Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls, have you ever read it?" I shook my head no and she said she recommended it. I was just happy that I had gotten up the courage to say something somewhat intelligent to her. Later on during the class she passed me a small piece of folded white paper. I stared at the paper blankly for a moment, then looked over to her. She just smiled, so I opened it to read it. All it said was, "You should call me tonight, we could do something this weekend if you’re not busy. 231-8976" I thought I was imagining this, girls don’t give me notes, let alone their phone numbers. I’ve never had one girl ask me to do anything with her. I smiled at her and nodded, she seemed satisfied with that response and turned her attention back to the teacher. That night I made sure to call her, though a bit nervous I managed. The conversation went something like this: Me: "Hi, is Sara there?" Sara: "This is." Me: "Hey, its Mike." Sara: "Oh hey, what’s up?" Me: "Well nothing really, just thought I’d give ya a call." Sara: "That’s cool, I was wondering if you’d want to do something Sunday?" Me: "Sure, what do you want to do?" Sara: "Let’s see a movie or something." Me: "Alright, should I call you tomorrow to figure out which movie?" Sara: "Yeah, that’ll work. Talk to ya then." Me: "See ya." When I got off the phone all I could think about was how great this was. I couldn’t even fall asleep that night, just laid there and thought about Sara and seeing her on Sunday. Saturday wasn’t much better. It seemed to just drag on forever and it would never end. Around 7 I called her and we decided to go eat lunch at the Big Boy, then rent a couple movies to watch at her house. I thought I was on cloud nine, I was so excited. That night I managed to actually get some sleep though because I hadn’t slept the night before. Sunday morning I woke up at 10, showered, dressed in some black baggy pants and a black fishnet shirt, and spiked my hair. I made sure to put some cologne on and brush my teeth for at least 5-6 minutes. I walked down to the Big Boy where I was supposed to meet her at 11:30. When I got inside I saw her sitting down in a booth in the corner. I quickly joined her and asked her how long she’d been waiting. She’d only been there for about 5 minutes she said, and not to worry about it. Eventually we got to the movie store and rented three movies to watch: Clockwork Orange, SLC Punk and Rocky Horror Picture Show. Her room was huge, with posters covering the wall, and clothes covering the floor. She told me to make myself comfortable on her bed, so I did as was told. She put Clockwork Orange in and cuddled next to me. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just wrapped one of my arms around her loosely. Towards the middle of the movie she turned to face me and put her hand on the back of my neck pulling my lips to hers. She kissed me deeply, her tongue flicking at mine and I moved my hand down the arch of her back to her tight ass. She continued to kiss me as she ran her fingertips along my chest. I slid my hands along her soft bare thighs, moving one hand farther up until her short black skirt hid my hand. My fingers traced the lacy rim of her panties momentarily and she squirmed slightly, pressing herself tighter against me. My cock hardened until it was visible beneath my pants, feeling slightly embarrassed I moved away a bit, but she pulled me back against her. I slid two of my fingers underneath the material of her panties and ran my fingers around the hot, wet lips of her pussy until she could barely stand it anymore and she wriggled trying to get my fingers inside her. I pressed them inside slowly, her pussy muscles tightening around my fingers. I used a third finger to massage her clit as she tugged at my pants trying to tear them off me. I unbuttoned them with my free hand, and twirled my other fingers around inside her, her cum oozing between my fingers and down my hand. She tore my pants off me roughly and slid my boxers off exposing my thick, hard rod. She moved off the bed and onto her knees in front of me. Shaking slightly with anticipation I moved towards her until I was on the edge of the bed. She placed her lush ruby lips over my cock and pressed herself forward a little pressing me deep into her throat, she choked slightly, but was alright once she started to bob her head back and forth. Her tongue twirled around the head for a moment and I moaned loudly as I felt my juices bubbling up, about to burst into her mouth. She could tell I was about to cum and she pressed my cock back down her throat. My load shot into her throat and she swallowed. With this she got up off her knees and frenched me passionately, letting me taste my own seed. We got dressed quickly as we heard footsteps on the steps, not one second after I got my pants on her door opened. Her mom stepped in and smiled at the two of us. "Would you two like anything to eat?" "No thanks, we’re fine." "Alright." She smiled and walked out. Phew that was a relief. Well after that we just watched the other movies and cuddled close. My mind raced, that was the first time I had ever even kissed a girl, let alone fingered one. Well Monday wasn’t all that interesting. I saw Sara in class, and exchanged an occasional smile. Wow she’s the most beautiful creature alive. After class I made sure to ask her to my house on Friday. She said sure and I was so ecstatic I could hardly contain myself. Now today she’s all I can think of. If this is what happened the first time I hung out with her outside of school, what’ll happen next time? I guess I’ll find out soon enough. Well I’ve got to make dinner now so I’ll write soon. Always, Mike