Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories
From: an162461@anon.penet.fi (Nostrumo)
Date: Sun, 29 Jan 1995 21:29:15 UTC
Subject: TG: An Afternoon with Mother

		      An Afternoon with Mother
			    A short essay
				 by
			Miss Karen-Anne Brown

	Confusion was the word that described my feelings better than
anything else, as I sat here, in my mother's living room, in the big
old country home where I had grown up.

	I'd been away from home for three years now, because I just
knew that if I went home, I would do what I was doing this minute. I
just knew that I loved those old feelings just too too much to resist
them.

	I plucked daintily at the ruffled hem that tickled my nyloned
knee. Oh, how I loved this. I was so ashamed of my inner feelings,
but I loved this and craved this feeling of being pretty. My dress
was a light orange color, with wide ruffled shoulder straps. It was a
sun dress, with a wide tight waist band. It had been three years
since I had last worn it.

	I could hear my mother in the kitchen, humming as she prepared
a light lunch for us. I was very aware of the pressure of the high
instep of the three inch heeled sandals I wore on my feet. I felt,
constantly, the caress of my satin panties, the tight fingered grip of
my corsetry, and the dainty jewelry that adorned my neck, wrists and
ears. I could smell my perfume. I could sense the halo of curls my
shoulder length hair framed my pixie face with. My silk slip rustled
delicately across my nyloned thighs, as I stood and went to the
kitchen.

	In the kitchen, I dropped a ruffled pink apron over my head,
and tied the big bow at the back. "Can I help out with anything, Mom?"
"No, you just relax. Now, take off that apron, and get out of my
kitchen. You should know by now that two women in a kitchen is a ready
formula for trouble."

	"Okay." I removed the apron and went out onto the front porch
to look once again at the beautiful scenery. A slight wind was teasing
at my skirt hems.

	I resigned myself. I knew that I never wanted to be a boy
again. Girl's clothes were just too exciting, to ever settle for
anything less again. I was thankful that my mother understood me and
that she had insisted, almost from the moment I walked in the door,
that I go up to my old room and change into something more natural for
me. I had not resisted. I'd willingly doffed masculinity, and
gratefully, once again, accepted my feminine role in my mother's house.

	My room had not been changed. The pink canopied bed with its
lace trimmed skirts, still dominated the room. The pictures of ballet
dancers, were still on the walls. My dolls were seated prettily on
the satin pillows of the bed. The vanity that I'd spent my formative
years before, was still there, with all the necessary cosmetics to
make me as feminine as I could be.

	Three years ago, I had left home, in a desperate attempt, to,
for once in my life, try to be a male. I'd enrolled in college, and I
had been a miserable failure. I'd been a failure, not in my marks. I
had received my degree, one year early, but, in my ability to adjust
to living as a boy. It had been worse there, trying to live as a boy,
than it had been growing up in a household of eight brothers, where
they all knew I was a boy, but, was cast in the role of the baby
sister.

	When I was born, I was the last in a long line of boys. I was
also very small and delicate. My mother could have no more children,
and, she convinced my father, somehow, that he should agree
to letting her dress me as her little daughter, for just the years
before school. Unbeknownst to him, mom would go to the barn once a
week, and get a small jar of the hormone creams that were used on the
cows.

	The result was, that by age seven, when I should have joined
my brothers in school, my hair was long enough for me to sit on it. My
facial features were not those of a boy. I had a delicate frame. I
still did not even know that I was a boy.

	My brothers knew, but they did not tell me. I grew up, being
treated like a girl in a house of men, under a special umbrella of
protection and favor of a rather domineering mother. Because of my
obvious feminine orientation, my father accepted the fact that I was
more of a girl than a son. He let mom enroll me in school as a girl.
My bothers disliked the favoritism that was poured out on me.

	I did not do chores, like they did. I was allowed to stay in
the house all the time, and help my mother. I was encouraged to wear
pretty and soft clothing, unlike them. Mom encouraged me to learn how
to run a home, to read, to paint and to study music. We were not
rich, and, I was the only one allowed to take music lessons. She
encouraged the artistic nature that I had, with special
classes in poetry, prose and artwork. By the age of fifteen, I could
make my own dresses and lingerie, cook, crochet, do needlepoint and
knit with a fair amount of alacrity.

	Because my brothers resented the special treatment that I got,
I did not get along with them at all. They would not let me join
their games or anything like that. In fact, whenever I did try, Mom
got very mad at me, and made me stop playing boys games. If I did not
spend time with my mother, I was alone. I guess that was why I did
spend so much time with her. I wanted to be just like her, she was so
competent and pretty. It just seemed that she was the wisest person
in the whole world, to me, and, she was greatly respected by the men
in the house. I grew up thinking that the womanly role in a home was
the most valued role in life, and I just wanted to do every thing that
I could, to be just like her.

	She continued having me rub that special cream into my chest
area, every night, for as long as I was at home. The result was, I had
very small genital and breast development, almost no hair on my body, 
and my voice never changed.

	I learned that I was a boy, when I was thirteen.
One of my brothers, Bobby, about three years older than I, started
to become very friendly with me, shortly after I started to develop my
breasts. One afternoon, a very hot summer afternoon, Bobby and I were
alone at home.

	I was laying on my bed, in shorts and halter, sandals, 
and my hair was pulled back in a ponytail. I was laying on my tummy,
reading a novel.

	Bobby came into my room, and sat on the bed. He did not say
anything, but, I sensed somehow, that this was going to be something
different. It was. He reached over, put his hand on my bum, and
gently rubbed my cheeks. It felt so nice. It was certainly the
nicest that any of my brothers had ever been to me. His hand moved
around my bum, delightfully slowly.

	I waited to see what he would do next. His fingers went down
between my legs, and gently rubbed my privates. It got hard under his
finger's manipulations. I moaned, and rolled over onto my back. I
closed my eyes and let him do whatever he wanted to. His fingers
gently rolled my erect nipples, driving me wild.

	Then, his hand went to the front of my red shorts and began,
again, to rub my private. I could not help myself. I
shuddered uncontrollably, and pushed myself up into his hand. Then,
the most glorious sensation washed over me, as I began to release
something into my panties. I felt like I was on a pink cloud, and it
took many minutes for me to settle back to normal.

	"Bobby, why did you do that?" "Did you like that, Karen?" "I
adored it. Can that happen all the time?" "Lots of times. I just
wanted to see if you would act like a boy or a girl." "Why wouldn't I
act like a girl?" "Because, you are a boy. In fact, you are the only
one who does not know it. You are a guy."

	"I am not." But, I knew, deep down within me, that it was
true. "Listen, Karen, you are a boy. I'll prove it to you. You have a
cock, just like mine. I just jacked you off, just like any boy gets
off." With that, he stood up, and took off all of his clothes. He
stood totally naked in front of me. Except for the hair, and the flat
chest, he was a lot like me. He also had an erection. I was fascinated
by it. It was ugly and horrible, but, I was fascinated. I wanted to
feel it. I wanted to kiss it. I wanted to suck on it. I was amazed, as
I had never had thoughts or feelings like that before. I could not
take my eyes off it.

	"I bet you feel like a girl, though, don't you?" "What do
you mean?" "I bet you would like to feel it, maybe give me a blowjob?"

	"What is a blowjob, Bobby?" "It's where a girl takes a guy's
cock into her mouth and sucks him, till he cums. Then she swallows it.
I bet you'd like to give me a blowjob, just like any other girl, even
if you are a guy, wouldn't you?" "Yes, I would."

	"Okay, kneel down in front of me. Good Girl. Now, first wrap
your hand around it...no...like this. Now, see this spot right here,
under the head, well, I want you to rub it with your
thumb...oh yeah...just exactly like that."

	It was so very hot, hard, and, yet, it was satiny smooth. It
jerked wildly in my hand when I touched it the way that he wanted me
to touch it. I liked making it react like that. I looked up and saw a
look of total bliss on Bobby's face. I wondered if he felt like the
way that he had made me feel. "Now, Karen, you have to kiss it, and
lick the head, kind of like a lollipop." When I did as he told me, he
nearly screamed with what I was making him feel. I loved having such
a control over him.

	"Oh...Baby...you are one fine cocksucker. Ahhhh...Now, pretty
one, I want you to open your mouth and take it inside of your mouth.
Do it slowly....take it as far in as you can...that's the girl."

	Soon, I had it so far inside of me that my nose was in his
sweaty smelling pubic hair. He was jerking and throbbing in my mouth.
I liked this. I liked the way I was making him react. I felt kind of
like I was controlling him. "Now, Baby...what I want you to do, is,
keep just the head inside of your mouth, and rub it the way you did
before, with your thumb, okay?"

	I did what he told me to do, and, in a matter of only seconds,
he was moaning. He grabbed my head and drove himself into me, nearly
choking me, and filling me with his stuff. I tried swallowing, as he
told me that was what girls did with it. I kind of liked the texture,
it was so thick and creamy. It was a bit salty, but, I liked it.

	I kept him in my mouth, till he was drained, and he nearly
fell on my bed. I lay down again. "Bobby?" "Yeah, Karen?" "Am I
really a boy?" "Yeah, but, you are the prettiest and foxiest boy I
ever saw. You really turn me, you are so foxy. I've been waiting for
weeks to get to be alone with you." "You think that I am really
pretty?" "Oh yeah, Babe. You are gorgeous." "Thank you."

	"So, was I right? Did you like sucking my cock?" "Yes, I did.
I can not explain it, but, I felt...right about it." "Yeah...well...the
old lady turned you into a fairy, and, I guess that is what you are. 
If you like sucking cocks, you're probably as queer as a three dollar
bill. You will probably never be a real guy. But, I got to tell you,
Karen, there are guys, like me, who really get turned on by having sex
with a guy, when they are more like girls than they are boys. If you
can meet a guy like me, he'll treat you like a royal queen. He'll treat
you a lot better than guys usually treat their girlfriends."

	I looked at him. I realized that my brother Bobby was a
cute guy. I wanted him to kiss me. Instead, he got dressed and left
my room. I did not get to be alone with him till nearly a week later.
I had gone swimming at the old gravel pit on our farm.

	It was later in the afternoon. I had thought that I was alone.
I'd laid a towel out on the grass to get some sun. Because I was
alone, I had untied the bra of my bikini, and was enjoying the feel of
the hot sun on my sensitive breasts. Suddenly, I heard a soft quiet
voice. "God, you are beautiful, Karen."

	I opened my eyes and saw Bobby standing a few feet away,
staring at me. I wondered if he liked my breasts. I hoped so. I smiled
to let him know that I was glad that he was there with me. He came
over and slowly knelt down, then he lay beside me. I felt entirely
natural as he gathered me into his arms and began kissing me. My arms
encircled his shoulders and neck, and I hungrily sucked his tongue
into my ravenous mouth. I craved his loving.

	His fingers were calloused and rubbed my delicate breasts
roughly, but, I did not want him to stop it, even if it did hurt a
bit. Bobby was a strong young man, and I felt very small beside him.
I knew that he could do anything that he wanted to me, and I would not
be able to resist him. I loved the feeling of helpless dependence
that I had, on his good intentions towards me.

	He then did something that drove me absolutely wild. I
screamed it felt so beautiful. He lowered his head, and began kissing,
sucking, then biting my nipples. His other hand went down and untied
the straps to my bikini panties, and was soon tugging them down over
my hips and pulling them off my feet. I was totally naked and helpless
as my brother kissed my breasts, driving me incapable of even desiring
to resist his advances. I loved the feeling of being naked and
vulnerable, as his hands roamed over me. Bobby was muscular and he
probably had twice the body mass that I had. I was his for the
taking. He knew it. I knew that I craved this feeling.

	He stood, removed all of his clothing, then lay beside me on
my towel. Hungrily, my hands reached for that gorgeous cock of his,
as he kissed me all over, returned to my breasts, then, he kissed down
to my crotch. He reversed himself beside me. He was kissing and
licking my inner thighs. I could no more resist sucking his cock than
I could stop shooting up, had I been a heroine addict. I grabbed at
it and sucked it deeply into my self. He shifted so that I was on my
back, and his legs were astraddle my thin chest. He drove himself
down into my mouth, and I lovingly received him, craving that cum of
his, again.

	When he took my little thing into his mouth, he drove himself
down into me, unloaded a huge load of his cum. I do not know how I
managed to not suffocate, but, I swallowed till I had all of my reward
from him. I exploded into his mouth at the same time.

	The afternoon wore on as we lay beside each other, loving each
other. When my emotions had stabilized again, I wondered if he could
shoot it again for me. I reached over, and soon had that pretty little
thing hardening in my mouth again. I made him cum again for me. We
walked home, holding hands, like a girl and boy friend. He made me
promise that I would not tell anyone else about our love affair. Just
before we came in sight of the house, I went on by myself, and he took
another route. We did not want our parents to find out about us.

	About three weeks later, I was awakened one night, by the feel
of someone crawling into my bed with me. It was Bobby. He told me
that he wanted to fuck me. He said that when a girl loves a guy, that
she lets him fuck her. He kissed me, put his hand inside the panties
of my baby dolls, to see if I was hard, to prove that I loved him, and
told me that was the proof that I loved him. I asked what I should
do.

	He told me that it might be painful, at first. He took off
my panties, and told me to put them in my mouth. It seemed pretty
strange, but, I did what he told me to do. I then rolled over onto my
tummy. I wanted to feel my brother shooting inside of me. I loved
the feeling of his hot hairy body in my satin sheeted bed, rubbing
roughly over me.

	He then got up, and I could see in the faint light, that it
looked like he was putting something on his cock. He then got back
into the bed, positioned himself on top of me, and I felt his greased
cock poking at my bum cheeks. He reached down and found the little
hole, and he pushed his weight onto my back, and drove himself into
me. I screamed. The panties in my mouth deadened the sound, but,
the pain was horrible. Because of his weight on me, I could do
nothing but receive him as he moved in and out of me. Once my bum was
conditioned to his movements, the pain subsided.

	I lay there, my arms under my head, Bobby's weight on my back,
and his lips were kissing my cheeks and my shoulders, telling me what
a sexy girl I was, and how he was so turned on by me that he had a
hard-on all day, that he thought about me constantly. I was
flattered. It began to feel good, as he moved inside of me. I was
liking being a girl getting fucked by a hunk.

	I shook off these thoughts when I heard my mother setting the
dining room table. I had struggled at school, but, I never met anyone
who accepted such a feminine man. I had enrolled as a man, but, knew
with in a week that had been a mistake. Men do not have delicate
features, hairless bodies and breasts.

	It had been horrible, but, I had learned, gotten my degree,
and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I could never adjust to
living as a man. It was not in me. I did not want to. I hoped that
somehow, I'd meet a man like my brother Bobby. My degree would enable
me to work in an office, for that I was thankful.

	I entered the house again, being accepted for who I was, a
girl with the attributes of the male and the soul of a lady. My
mother smiled. "Karen, you sit here, Dear. Now, tell me all about
how horrible that time as a man was for you....I just can't imagine."

				*****