From: b1223@ix.netcom.com
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg
Subject: Lisa's TG Library: "Try It Out, Why Don't Ya?"

   TRY IT OUT, WHY DON'T YA?

   Sub Title: DON'T KNOCK IT IF YOU AIN'T TRIED IT

   Another fantasy by:

   Miss Karen-Anne Brown



   It was a Friday evening, around 6 pm.  The letter on the table haunted
me.  It was like it had some kind of presence or something, that kept me
thinking about it.

   Hi.

   I am Karen-Anne Brown.

   I am also a boy.

   If you saw me at the present time, you would probably not believe that I
am a boy, however.  I am wearing a white and red striped silk blouse, with
long sleeves and puffy bishops shoulders.  I also have on a soft corduroy
skirt, pink.  My legs are clad in shiny black nylons, and I am wearing
three inch high heeled shoes, sling back pumps that I find very
comfortable. My hair (a wig) is dark brown and falls from the crown of my
head to nearly four inches past my shoulders.  I have barettes, long ones
with pearly designs, above my ears, to keep my hair from covering my face.

   I've practised for hours to learn the skills of makeup.  I learned it by
buying a book called "Color Me Beautiful".  I have a summer complexion.  My
naturally long lashes are curled and stiffly stick out, from the dark brown
mascara that I had applied less than an hour before.  My hazel blue eyes
have two shades of eye shadow, a darker blue for the lids, and a lighter
blue that rises from the lid to the arch of my eyebrows.  My eyes look
bigger than they are, because, I highlighted the top eyelid with a dark
brown liquid eyeliner.  My lips are pouty from a rose pink lipstick.  My
cheekbones are highlighted with a rose pink blush.  My fingernails are done
in pink, and on my left wrist, a delicate silver wristwatch, and on my
right, silver bangles.  I have three rings on my left hand and two on my
right.  I looked like a girl, and, that was how I wished I could look all
the time.

   I was in college, studying accounting, and living on my own, so, I often
wore girl's underwear under my regular clothes.  But, the moment I walked
in the door, my pants dissappeared, unless of course, they were replaced by
girl's slacks or very tight fitting jeans.

   I think that I am pretty, and that I look like a girl, but, I have never
had the courage to go outside, or to any public place in girl's clothes.

   I've been wearing girl's clothes for as long as I could remember.  My
sister and I shared a bedroom at home.  She was a tomboy, and, as you can
gather, I was a sissy.  I tried hard to not be a sissy, but, Sandra knew
that I secretly liked wearing girl's clothes.  She liked dressing me in her
clothes.  We lived in a home where the only male around was me, so, I got
privileges that my two sisters never got, and, she wanted us to be equal.
She said skirts made us equal.

   I believe that from that day when I was eight, and Sandra caught me
putting on one of her dresses, and laughed at me when she saw that I had an
erection in her panties, till the time I left home at age sixteen, that not
one day passed by where I did not wear at least one article of feminine
clothing.

   She'd spend hours training me how to walk and move like a girl.  Often I
would have to keep a large dictionary on my head at all times, for walking,
sitting, picking up things that she had thrown on the floor, being careful
to not let the book slide off my head.  Sandy often wore my clothes at
those times.  She hated being a frilly little girl, and we talked often
about how we would like to change places with each other.

   From the age of twelve, I would look at my friends, the boys, and wonder
what they would think of me if the saw me in my sister's clothes.  I
wondered if they would think that I was pretty.

   From the age of twelve, I began paying a special attention to how the
girls at school dressed and acted.  I longed to be able to be with them, as
a normalcy.  I loved the girls.  The more feminine and pretty they were,
the more infatuated I was with them.

   By the age of thirteen, I was also wondering what it would be like to
have a boyfriend.  I did not want to have sex with a boy, afterall, that
was being queer.  But, I would have liked to be able to dance with a boy,
and go for walks, with him holding my hand.  I wanted someone who would be
strong and take care of me, because, I was quite a weakling.

   Even though I was quite small for my age, and even though I wore panties
and dresses every chance that I got, I tried hard to make everyone else
think that I was a normal guy.  I got into a lot of fights.  By fourteen,
the police knew my name and watched for me.  I was macho.  I worked out on
weights, to no avail.  I could not build up my muscles.

   Now, I sat, at age 20, looking over at the table, and seeing the letter
that lay on the table.  I did not have to read it.  I knew the words by
heart.

   "Dear Karen-Anne

   We would be delighted to have you attend one of our meetings.  We meet
at 16A Lawrence St., every Friday night, from 7pm to 10pm.  If you would
feel more comfortable, feel free to come to the meeting as Karen- Anne. 
Your picture was very pretty.  For more information, you can call us at
932-7765.

   Sincerely yours;

   Laura Evans"

   About four months earlier, I had seen a personal column in the local
paper, and had responded to it.  It was asking for anyone who was gay, and
wanted to meet gay people, to write to a P O Box number.

   Because I had had my feelings all of my life, I figured, that I must be
a queer.  I was what they joked about, a Fairy, a Faggot, a Panty-waist.  I
wrote to the box number, because, I figured that since no one else would
accept me the way I was, afterall, everyone wants a guy to be a guy, right,
that maybe, I could find acceptance at a queer's meeting.  I also knew that
if I went to that meeting, I would be saying to anyone that was there, that
I too was a queer.  I also knew that any man who thought that I was pretty
would figure that I was fair game, a conquest.  He would think of me, they
way guys thought of pretty girls.  He'd be trying to get into my pants.  He
would expect me to do queer things for him, like, maybe, suck his cock.

   I was terrified.

   Yes, I did want to go out and be accepted in public as a female.  Yes, I
secretly, would like to have a guy think that I was pretty enough that he'd
want to get me into bed.  But, was I queer enough to suck a cock?  That
would make me a "cocksucker".  That terrified me.  I'd heard the jokes all
my life.  I knew what normal people thought about people who did things
like that.  Was I like one of those?

   I wore feminine clothes, though I was a male.  I must be one of those,
or so I figured.

   That letter had been sitting on my table for nearly three months.  Every
Friday, I would come home, take extra special care with the way I got
dressed, wondering if I would have the guts to actually go to a meeting,
and, then, as I did all the other times, I sat in my livingroom, looking
pretty, and watching the television.

   I glanced at the pretty watch on my wrist, and saw that the meeting
would begin in fifteen minutes.  It would take me about ten minutes to get
to that address.  I had to make up my mind, once and for all.

   I knew that I did not want to spend another night alone.  I'd been alone
for too long.  I had to do something.  With a deep sigh, I gathered all the
courage that I had in me, and stood up, resolving that tonight I was going
to make my debut.  I would be a debutante, tonight.

   I went to the closet by the front door and selected my pale blue suede
blazer.  I picked up my maroon purse, and slung the strap over my shoulder.
A last glance in the full length mirror convinced me that I was not ever
going to look more girlish than I did at that moment.

   My hands were shaking terribly.

   I opened my purse to double check that I had everything that I would
need.  My purse had thirty-five dollars in it, and all of my
identification. I had lipstick, powder, eye shadow, kleenex and my keys.

   Now, I had no reason to stay in the apartment.

   My hands shook as I turned the doorknob, quietly, to peek out and down
the hallway.  No one was there.  Bravely, I stepped out into the hallway,
and pulled the door shut behind me.  The loud click of the lock was a noise
that resounded in my ears.  If anyone of my neighbours stepped out into the
hallway, I would have to appear as a girl before them, fumbling in my purse
to get my keys, in order to get back into the apartment.  I was locked out,
wearing girl's clothes.

   This was it.

   I turned to my right and walked towards the elevators.  Fortunately, I
was on the second floor, so, I chose to take the stairs.  It amazed me how
my delicate heels clicked so loudly on the hollow concrete of the stairs.
My skirt was also a bit on the tight side, so, I was not able to take big
steps.  If for some reason I had to run, I knew, I would be absolutely
helpless.  I could not run on these heels and in a tight skirt.

   Without seeing anyone, I made it to the parkinglot, and got into my car.
My heart was beating wildly, and my breathing was very light.  For a
moment, I was worried that I might even hyper-ventilate.  That would be a
fine mess, if I died in my car, wearing girl's clothes.  I could just
imagine the headlines in tomorrow's papers.

   YOUNG MAN FOUND IN WOMAN'S CLOTHING.  POLICE INVESTIGATING FOUL PLAY

   I had never driven wearing high heeled shoes before, and that took some
getting used to, but, I managed to not crack up the car as I drove to
Lawrence St.

   I had never been so scared or so nervous in my entire life.  This was
taking real guts on my part.  I had never had the courage to do anything
like this before.  As I drove, I was acutely aware of the feel of every
stitch of the soft girl's clothes that I wore.

   My waist was tightly cinched.  I had designed an apparatus that would
keep me under control, if ( I giggled to myself as I thought this thought )
some guy turned me on.  I had sewn small metal rings, four of them, onto
the bottom hem of my waist cincher.  To these, I tied elastic material.  To
the other end, sewn to the elastic material, was a small square of heavy
pink satin.  The elastic strings would allow it to expand a bit, but not
enough to make a bulge in my skirt.  The patch was just big enough that it
covered my pubic mound, and went back between my legs far enough that just
the head of my cock was free.  This way, I'd be able to go to the bathroom,
although I'd have to sit down to pee.

   I could feel my soft silk panties on my bare bum, under my skirt.  My
satin slip constantly caress my thighs as I moved my legs to operate the
car.  My silk blouse caressed my forearms as I steered.  The tension of the
tight bra straps increased and decreased, with every slight movement.

   I was outside, dressed as a girl.  Everyone who drove by my car and
looked at the driver, saw a young woman, not a man.  As I drove, and
noticed that no one was paying me any special attention, I began to relax a
bit.  I was quite excited by this big adventure of mine.

   The house where the meeting was, was in an older part of the town.  I
could park on the street.  I found a spot, as near as I could possibly get
to the apartment, and parked.  Lots of people were out on their porches, as
it was a warm summery night.  They all looked at me curiously, but I could
see no questioning looks.  Taking another deep breath, I reached for the
door handle, and opened the car door.  I knew that all these people were
going to see me as a girl, and think that I was a real girl.  The thought
delighted me.  I reached with my right hand for my purse, then, somehow,
managed to find the strength to force my nyloned legs out of the car.  I
had never realized how delicate women's shoes were, till I felt the little
bumps and irregularities of the pavement under my soles.  It took another
great sigh to make myself stand up, outside the protection of my car,
exposed to the world, as a female.  Desparately trying not to be out of
place or do anything that was not normal for a girl, I reached down and
locked my car door, opened my purse to deposit my keys inside.  I had to
resist the urge to just drop them into my blazer pocket.  I slung the purse
over my shoulder, then, walked, with small swishy steps, up onto tht
sidewalk, and back toward the house that contained number 16A.  This was
scary and, I loved it.  I loved the feeling of walking on pavement in high
heels, and a skirt.  I held my head up high, as a pretty girl would, and
tried to look normal as I passed by my observers, rocking on their front
porches.

   The house I was looking for was an older house, kind of run down
actually, and the apartment was on the second floor.  It was accessed by a
wide stairway on the outside of the house.  I slowly made my way up these
stairs, encountering some difficulty, due to the tightness of my skirt.  My
skirt actually rode up my legs as I took each step upwards.

   As I neared the door, I could hear dance music, faintly.  A sign was on
the door.

   COME IN AND HAVE A GAY OLD TIME

   I smiled.  That was why I was here.  I wanted to know if I was really a
queer or not.  I just had to find out.

   I opened the door.  It opened into the kitchen.  There were a couple of
pretty girls there, fixing food trays.  They turned to see who had entered.
One of them, came over and hugged me, like a long lost girl friend.  This
was the way I had always wanted to be treated.

   "Karen, my...you are much prettier in person than you are in your
picture.  I'm laura Evans.  This is my girlfriend, Stacey Allbright."

   Stacey came over and kissed my cheek.  "You know, I would find it hard
to believe that you are not really a girl.  You look fantastic.  Did you
get that skirt at Suzy Sheir's?"

   "Uh...yes.  It was on sale...only $ 22.00."

   "Lucky girl.  When I saw it, it was $40.00.  Maybe you'd lend it to me
sometime?  You are a size 13?"

   "Uh..." I was almost blubbering with embarassment, " a fourteen top and
a thirteen bottom."

   "Oh, great...you can wear some of my clothes.  We're the same size."

   My aparatus was getting a serious workout.  I had a very painful hard
on, thinking about wearing this pretty girl's clothes, as though it was
normal to wear them.  They had accepted me entirely as a girl, and I was
absolutely thrilled.

   Laura grabbed my hand, pulling me, nearly causing me to trip on my high
heels.

   "Folks, we have a new girl with us tonnight.  This is Karen-Anne Brown.
Now, before you girls get the hots for her, you'd better know that this
exquisite little piece of work is really a boy."

   Everyone crowded around me to welcome me to the group.  I could not
possibly remember their names.  Besides my head was so light from the total
acceptance that I was expereincing, that I was in dreamland.  My mind was
not functioning.

   When we settled down for the meeting in a few moments, I was able to get
my bearings.  I did not know anyone at the meeting.  it was mostly girls,
and, some of them were very mannish.  Some of the prettier ones, were
sitting close to the mannish ones, and, obviously, feeling quite normal
about being the femme in a lesbian relationship.

   There were three men.  Two were real fairy types, overtly effeminate and
they semed to have a relationship going between the two of them.  They kept
touching each other as though they were very familiar with each other.

   The other man was in his late thirties, and looked like a college
professor.  He had greying hair and a full bushy beard.  He also smoked a
pipe.  He wore rather casual corduroy slacks and a bulky brown wool
cardigan over a white shirt.  I found that whenever I looked in his
direction, that he was watching me, and would smile, with a slight nod of
his head.  He made me feel like he was interested in me.  I did not want to
think of myself as being queer, and being interested in a man, but, I had a
hard on in my panties.  He made me blush.

   The meeting was short, and I do not even remember what was discussed.  I
was only aware of Gerry's looking at me all night.  After the meeting, they
broke out wine.  I quite naturally went to the kitchen to help the girls
prepare the food.  They accepted that, and, I was very pleased.

   Soon, the music was turned up and couples, after drinking and food, were
loosening up.  some of the women started dancing with each other.  Gerry
made his way over to me and asked me to dance.

   As I could think of no graceful way of getting out of the stiuation, I
put my arms around his neck and let him lead me.  Even in my heels, he was
about thwo inches taller than I was.  He smelled of rich pipe tobacco.  I
had never danced with a man before.  He made me feel so small compared to
him.  His beard tickled my cheeks.

   We made a lot of small talk as we danced, which led from one dance to
another.  It was obvious that, for tonight, I had become Gerry's girl.  The
wine made me rather giddy and light headed.  I'd drunken too much, to
compensate for my nervousness.  I soon found myself laying my head on his
shoulder for the slow dances, and my fingers were intertwined in the short
hairs at the back of his neck.

   Before I realized it, 10 pm had come, and the meeting broke up.  I was
sad, as I picked up my purse and slung it over my shoulder, preparing to
leave.  Gerry came up behind me and asked if I would like to go for a
coffee with him.  I knew that I shouldn't but, the night was so wonderful
that I did not want it to end yet.  I agreed.

   Outside, I got into my car.  Gerry had walked to the meeting, so, I
drove us to the restaurant he had chosen.  While there, he ordered me a
light lunch and a half carafe of white wine, while he drank beer.

   Soon, he'd told me everything about himself.  He was a design engineer
with a local sheet metal firm.  He was thirty-nine, divorced and had come
out of the closet four years earlier.  He also had an infatuation for
boy-girls.  He held my hand as he told me that he thought that I was exci
ting and pretty, and that he hoped that I would like to get to know him
better.  I could not help but to respond that I would like to get to know
him better.

   He told me of the first time that he found out that he was gay.  He had
picked up a girl in a bar in Toronto, and, when he got back to her place,
soon learned that she was a boy.  He told me that he was amazed that it did
not turn him off, but, that it seemed to get him more excited than he had
ever been before.  He told me that that was the first time that he had
sucked a cock, and, even though he was sucking her cock, she was acting
like a turned on girl.

   He said he could not describe the feeling he got from knowing that it
was a boy wearing the silks and satins of a girl.  He did not know where
this desire came from, but, he had it.  He wrote to many boy-girls who
advertised in the magazines and papers, and he attended the meetings in the
hopes of meeting a real boy-girl.  He did not like the fairy's that went to
the meeting.  They were not feminine boys.  The way they acted made a
mockery of women, so he thought.

   On the other hand, he wanted to know more about me and how come I dress
like I do.  I spent the next hour telling him all about myself, and how it
makes me feel to be dressed up as a girl.  I confessed that this was my
debut, and that I weas a debutante tonight.  He listened to every word I
said, and, seemed to be fascinated by me.  He made me feel very important
for being who I am, and, he made me feel cherished and wanted, as
Karen-Anne Brown.

   I felt so funny, sitting there, in female clothes, telling a masculine
man, all about the sissy side of me.  It was liberating.  He seemed to
somehow understand what I was saying, and, he seemed to really like me for
being that way.

   "So, Karen, you have never gone out with a man before?"

   "No.  You are the first man I have ever told.  This is the very first
time I have ever had the courage to go outside of the apartment, in girl's
clothes."

   "Well, if I had any choice about it, I would never let you wear pants,
ever again.  You are just too pretty and feminine to be in pants.  I,
frankly, can not picture you as a boy."

   I reached over and touched Gerry's hand in a feminine and somewhat
inhebriated gesture, "Thank you, Gerry.  That is a very sweet thing for you
to say."

   "So, you do not know if you are a bisexual or not?"

   "No, I don't."

   "Well, pretty lady, I think that it is about time that you found out if
you are or not."

   I was flabbergasted.  Gerry was telling me that he wanted to have sex
with me, as Karen-Anne.  I was fearful, and, yet, my panties were bulging.

   "Karen, why don't you invite me home for a nightcap?"

   "Ohhh, Gerry, you are so very very sweet to me, but, I don't know if I
am ready for anything like that, yet."

   He leaned over and whispered, while he ran his hand up my nyloned thigh,
up under my skirt.  "Baby, you are ready for this."

   I shuddered, unable to resist his hand.  It pushed my legs open till he
was rubbing my silk panty crotch.  I nearly had a fit, I was so excited.

   "Uh...okay, Gerry...but you have to promise me something."

   "What's that, Babe?"

   "If I want to quit at any time, that you won't make me do anything that
I don't want to do."

   "Karen, I promise.  You see, I know that you are as queer as a three
dollar bill, and that you'll want to do everything that I tell you to."

   "You promise Gerry?"

   "I promise.  Let's get out of here."

   I stood and waited by the cash, as my "boyfriend" paid for the meal.  I
was shaking I was so scared, knowing that I was going to take a man to my
apartment, and, he was going to want me to make love to him.  I knew that
he wanted me to suck his cock for him.  I blushed.

   When he was finsihed paying, he slid his arm around my waist
possessively, and led me out of the restaurant.  He was quiet, and just
kept watching me as I drove him to my place.  I was as nervous as a kitten.

   He held me tightly as we walked into the building, and chose to take the
elevator.  One of my neighbours, from my floor, got on with us, but, she
did not recognize me.  Gerry kept me in his tight grasp while the car took
us up to the second floor.

   I led the way to my apartment, and, as I retrieved the key from my
purse, he took it from me, just like in the movies.  He bowed and with
bravado, waved to me to enter, saying, "Ladie's first."

   As I walked by, I felt his hot hand caress my bum, right through my
skirt, slip and panties.  Fearfully, I wondered "What I had gotten into
with this man," and wondered where my wits were.  I knew only what he had
told me about himself.

   By the time that I got to the middle of the room, Gerry had already
turned on the stereo and was approaching me with his arms open, to dance
with me.

   I melted into his embrace, and enjoyed the feel of his strong arms as
they wrapped around me.  One of his hands soon was slip up under my blazer
and was palying with my bra straps, while the other hand was gently
caressing my bum.  He made me feel womanly.

   We danced like that for a few moments, then, he kissed me.  It was the
first time a man had ever kissed me, in a romantic way, and, I nearly
fainted with the intensity of the emotions that coursed through my being.
Gerry sensed that, and held me even tighter.  Then, his tongue began to
lick my lips and he pushed it into my mouth.  My arms tightened around his
neck and I hungrilly sucked on his tongue.

   He had an erection that he kept driving into the front of my skirt.  It
pleased me to know that I could turn a man on like this.  I liked the feel
of the heat of it, right through my skirt.

   I felt his hand as it lowered the zipper of my skirt.  He worked it down
so that with a rustle, it slithered down over my peach colored slip, to
fall at my ankles.  As we danced, I stepped out of it.

   Then, he worked my blazer off and it fell in a heap, beside my skirt. 
Then he stood and quietly began to unbutton my blouse.  I felt mesmerized
by him.  One after the other, he slowly undid the buttons on the front of
my blouse, then, reached for my wrists and undid those ones as

   well.

   Then he bent over, reached for the hem of my slip, and raised it over my
head, and threw it on the floor.  I stood, totally exposed before this man,
in nylons, high heels, waist cincher and bra.

   He knelt down in front of me, and lowered my panties to mid thigh.  When
he learned how my apparatus worked, he untied it.  He gave my cock a gentle
kiss, threw the gaff on the floor and raised my panties again.

   "I know that you girls like to wear panties all the time, and that turns
me on.  I like to feel your panties, Karen." With that, he rubbed my cock
through my panties, and I nearly fainted with the exquisite delightful
sensations he was giving me.

   "Now, you just sit down there.  Have you got any wine?  Okay, here, you
sip this glass of wine, and watch me get undressed for you."

   I submissively, did as he told me to.

   First he unbuttoned his sewater and dropped in on the floor,
symbolically, it fell on top of my skirt.  He unbuttoned his shirt and
threw that on the floor as well.  Then he sat on the couch and untied his
shoes, then removed his socks.  He stood, undid his belt buckle, and opened
his pants, letting the loose garment slide to the floor.  He stepped out of
them, then he came over and stood in front of me.  He seemed to be covered
in a fine reddish brown hair.

   He was not fat, but, I could see the beginnings of a paunch.  His chest
muscles looked solid and well developed.  His legs were muscular.  I could
hardly believe that I was sitting here, in women's underwear, wathcing a
handsome man, undress for me, and I was not offended, I was interested.  I
was also ashamed of myself for these feelings.

   I was fascinated, and watched intently as he hooked his thumbs into the
waistband of his shorts, and pushed them down, very slowly.

   His cock came into view.  It was not big, about seven inches long,
circumsized, and about two inches in diameter, but, compared to me, it was
huge.  It fascinated me.  I thought it was ugly, yet, fascinating.

   I stared at it, as he stepped out of his underwear.

   He walked over to where I was sitting, and moved very close to me.  In a
moment, his cock was right in front of my face, then, gently brushing my
cheeks.

   I hated myself, because, I felt entirely natural in this situation.  He
was really turned on, and, I as Karen had done it to him.  He turned his
hips slowly, and brought his cock to my lips.  My panties were just about
to burst with my own erection.

   I sat demurely, with his cock head on my lips, not knowing what to do. I
looked up at him.

   Gerry smiled down at me.  "If you're not a grade A Fairy, you would
never allow a man to put his cock on your lips, Karen.  You had better face
the fact that you are as queer as they come.  You are a born sissy.  You
should be kept in skirts for as long as you live.  You should be made to
suck cocks everyday of your life.  I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

   My face burned even hotter than it had all the times that I had blushed
before.  I was so very ashamed of myself.  I was sitting there, in
lingerie, and a man had his cock on my lips, right at this moment, and, he
told me I was a born faggot, and that I should be made to wear girl's
clothes and suck cocks, everyday.  I was so ashamed, because, the idea of
living a life like that was terribly exciting to me.  I was nearly coming
as his words pounded into my ears.  I craved being treated like that.  I
never would have thought so, but, Gerry seemed to know the buttons to push
with me.  I guess that that had come from his experience with the girl-boys
he'd had before.

   He reached down and took my arms, raising me to stand in front of him.
He made me feel so small and weak, and vulnerable.  I hated myself for
loving the way he made me feel.

   "Well, Karen, I promised you that I would not do anything that you did
not want me to do.  So, do you want me to stay?"

   "Yes...." I sqeaked out, hating myself for not being able to resist his
desires for me.

   "You want me to stay here, all night, and make love to you, like you
were a woman?"

   I slid my arms around his neck, because I felt I was going to fall down
without his support.  "Yes...Gerry, I want you to stay."

   "You have to tell me, Karen, that you want me to make love to you, like
a woman."

   I'd never been so humiliated in my life.  "Gerry, I want you to
stay...and to...and to make me feel like a woman, to make love to me, the
way a man does to a woman."

   "Do you feel womanly, Karen?"

   "Yes."

   "Women like to suck cocks, do you know that, Karen?"

   "Yes, Sir.  I know that." I was too ashamed to look him in the eye.

   He took his hand and placed it under my chin, turning my eyes up to look
at him.

   "If you are a woman, and I am your man lover, that means the you "WANT'
to suck my cock....is that right, Karen?"

   Emotions ripped through me.  All the years of training to believe that
being a homo was wrong, seemed to come together at this moment.  Yet,
Gerry's manner and his eyes were so overpowering.

   The worse thing was, I knew, I wanted to do it for him.  No, not for
him. I wanted to suck him, because, that is what girls do with men.  I
craved to have every experience that a girl can have.  I wanted to be as
completely a girl as it would ever be possible for me.

   "Well, my pretty one?  Do you, like any other woman, want to get your
lips around my cock, and make me cum in your mouth?"

   "Yes." Shame flushed across my face, burning this moment into my memory.

   "Yes, what?" His hands were gently caressing me.  One was on my back,
and the other was on my pantied bum.

   "Yes...." I, from somehwere, deep within, summoned the courage to say
those words to this man lover of mine, "Gerry, like any other woman wants
to suck her lover's cock, I want to suck yours."

   "Baby, I don't believe you."

   I looked up at him, unbelievingly.  It had taken every ounce of will
that I had, to make those words pass my lips, and, now, he would not
believe me.

   "Wha...what do I have to do to prove it, Gerry?" I hated feeling so
defensive and submissive to him.  He was asking me to prove that I really
wanted to suck his cock.  That was shameful and humiliating.  All the
moreso, because, I wanted to prove it to him.

   "That's easy enough, pretty one.  All you do is suck it."

   I stepped back half a step.  My hands came from around his neck, and
rested, palms down, on his chest.  I felt his nipples get hard under my
hands, and his breathing became more shallow.  His erection was hot as it
rested on my pantied cock.

   Slowly, my right hand slid down his belly, till it was even with his
cock.  I was staring in his eyes.  His hands were still around my waist,
and he waited for me.

   I moved my hand, and, in a moment, for the first time in my life, I had
a real man's cock in my hand.  Once I got over the shock of knowing that I
was actually standing here, clad only in lingerie, my face made up as a
pretty girl's, holding a man's cock, I began, slowly to massaage it, making
it even harder and hotter.  I masturbated my man lover for a long few
moments.  I'd never felt so vulnerable, nor as close to anyone in my entire
life.

   "You like that, pretty one?  You do that so naturally, like you have a
natural talent for doing what a woman does to a man.  You should be proud
of yourself, Karen."

   I knew he was complimenting me.  I felt I should say something.

   "Thankyou, Gerry."

   I was again, ashamed of myself for saying such a thing with my mouth,
and, the worse part was, I was thanking him for telling me that I was good
at doing queer things.  What would my school chums ever say if they ever
found out about this.

   Now, I knew, the time had come.  Slowly, I lowered myself to my nyloned
knees, in front of this man.  I saw my pink tipped fingers as they wrapped
around his cock, trying to make him cum.  I bent my knees a bit more, and
the cock was even with my face.

   I leaned over, holding it steady with my right hand, and planted a very
large wet kiss on the head of it.  My kiss lingered as I moved my lips all
around.  Soon the head of his cock was smeared with my lipstick. 
Shamefully, I realized that I was not kissing him for sex, I was kissing
him because I loved kissinsg him like this.  I let my lips slide to the
sides, and had soon kissed the sides of the shaft as well.

   "Ohhhh...Karen-Anne Brown, you are turning out to be one very fine
cockscuker."

   I resisted saying thankyou for his compliment.

   Then, came the moment of truth.  I kissed back to the head, and
positioned myself so that I was right in front of him.  I opened my mouth
and felt the head slide past my lips, as I moved my head foreward.

   Now, I was the real girl, and had a real man, in my mouth.  But, I was
not yet a cocksucker, I realized.

   Slowly, I moved my head back and forth, licking the underside of his ock
as I did so.  Ever so slowly, I was able to take more and more of him into
my mouth, till, at last, I was nearly at the base of his cock, the head
touching the back of my throat.

   Now, I locked my lips, and slowly moved my head backwards.  Now, I was a
full fledged faggot cocksucker.  Strangely, I felt that I had overcome a
hurdle in my life, and, I was proud of my accomplishment.

   Gerry let me suck him for a few more minutes, then motioned for me to
stop.  I stood up, holding his wet cock in my hand, stroking it.  I was so
thankful to this man for making me realize who I really was, that, all I
wanted to do was to give as great a pleasure as I possibly could do.

   He reached down, picked me up, and carried me to the bedroom.  I felt
like a girl in a movie, as I clung to his neck, kissing him passionately as
he carried me to the bed.

   He lay me on the bed and lay beside me.  Soon, he was covering my body
with his hand's gentle and exploring caresses and his loving kisses.  He
made me feel like I was something that he cherished, and, I revelled in it.
He made me feel so small.  he also made me feel so passive.  If I tried to
respond with feeling him back, he'd push my hand away, and whisper to me to
just lie still, like a good girl.

   As I lay on my back, I resigned myself to being the one to whom love was
made, and, I delighted in knowing that someone liked my feminine
personality so much, the he wanted to make love to me.  He moved his head
down my belly, spending much time kissing my bra, and the chest area over
my bra.  He really liked the lacey trim I wore on my bra cups.  Then his
lips moved lower.

   I felt his hot breath on the front of my panties.  He kissed lower, all
over my thighs, my knees, down to my high heeled shoes, then, he kissed his
way back to my panties.  He bit me through the delicate material, nearly
driving me crazy with desire and pent up release.  I felt him raising my
panty-waist and push my panties down to my mid thighs.

   He seemed to take forever, just looking at my cock and balls, amidst the
feminine clothing.  He turned and looked at me and told me I was the most
exciting thing he had encountered in years.  He said that I was so very
pretty, down there, and that I belonged in lace and silk panties.  He said
that if he were ever to marry me, he would spank me if I ever wore
masculine clothes.

   Then I felt his fingers very gently probe between my legs, weighing my
balls, gently feeling out the shape of my little cock.  When he put his
fingers back between my legs, under my balls, and pushed, like he would if
I were a girl with a hole there, I nearly screamed with pleasure.  A very
loud moan escaped my lips, and I shuddered in ecstacy.  Gerry found that to
be fascinating, that I would respond to having a man's fingers where a girl
responds to having a man's fingers.

   Next, he turned me over onto my tummy and kissed my bum cheeks.  He told
me that I had the prettiest bum that he had seen in a very long time.  I
felt so completely exposed to him.  He nuzzled down between my cheeks, and
I screamed as I felt his tongue on my hole.  I had never dreamed that that
could be such a sensitive and pleasurable erogenous zone.  I loved it and
involuntarilly, pushed my bum up at him, for more.  He laughed and teased
me about acting like a woman, and the rolled me back over onto my back.  By
this time, I was desparate for release and would do anything he wanted me
to, just so that he would make me cum.  My cock was so hard, it hurt.

   I waited for my lover to make me orgasm, patiently.

   Then, I felt his hot wet mouth on me.  I wondered if it felt that good
for him, when I was sucking him.  It only took a moment for me to release
myself into his mouth.  He sucked me till I was completely drained,
emotionally as well as physically.

   When I was done, he moved back to lay beside me, and kissed me.  He
forced his tongue into my mouth, and, I was soon tasting a mouthful of cum.
When he had emptied his mouth into mine, he smiled and told me to swallow
it.  I did.  He told me that in a relationship such as ours, that there
could only be one girl, and, that the girl was always the cum eater.  That
was the way it was between girls and boys.

   I snuggled up into the crook of his arm and told him that that was just
a fine arrangement with me.

   Then, he straddled my chest with his knees.  He put a pillow under my
head, then stretched over me.  holding my hands way above my head.  He
positioned himself so that his cock was on my lips.

   I could feel the full weight of him, on my chest, and, I knew that I was
helpless to move.  My arms were stretched up over my head, and, even if I
wanted to move them, I would not have been able to, as Gerry was very much
stronger than I was.  I was indeed, the helpless girl in the situation.

   I looked up, and all I could see was his hair covered belly.  He pushed
himself foreward, and he was soon in my mouth, grunting and moving back and
forth.  I was having my mouth fucked.  Because he was holding my hands,
there was not a thing that I could do about it, except to let him fuck me,
like he was, until he was ready to stop fucking me.  It made me feel very
feminine.

   I tried to be careful of my teeth, and gently moved my tongue along the
underside of his cock as it moved in and out, back and foreward, into my
mouth.  He seemed to take a great deal of pleasure from what he was doing,
and he moaned in an almost steady stream of sound.

   "You are turning into one fabuluous little cocsksucker, Karen.  I think
you must really really love having a cock in your mouth, the way you suck
it.  Fuck...you are one hot little bitch.....Ahhhh...suck it Baby."

   I did.  I was ashamed of myself, because, strangely, somehow, I found
his words of praise to please my feminine ego.  I figured that a girl wants
her boyfriend to think that she gave great head, so, why not me.

   Gerry was in no hurry.  He loved the feelings my mouth was giving him. I
am sure that he also loved having such a complete control over me.  I know,
that, I did.  I really loved being his captive girl, and, I responded in
kind.  Whenever he shoved his cock as far as it would go into my mouth, I'd
lock my lips on it and suck very hard as he pulled himself out of my mouth.
I sucked so hard, that after the first ten minutes, my jaw and shoulder
muscles were very sore.  I had to relax, and just let him move the way he
wanted to.

   Everytime he would come close to climaxing, he would stop and wait for
it to subside.  I decided that I had had enough waiting.  I wanted the
reward that a girl gets from a man.

   This time, when he stopped to wait, I got busy with my tongue and tried
to move my head, to suck it right out of him.  He tensed all over, and,
with a loud moan, he began to erupt into my mouth.  I lovingly licked his
cock, and tried hard to swallow all the he was giving me.  It was difficult
as he kept filling my mouth over and over again with the hot salty thick
substance.  But, I managed to get it all into my belly, where it belonged.

   I had made him cum when he was trying not to.  That made me proud.  He
continued to sit on top of me, till his cock got small again.  I tried to
manipulate it into another orgasm, but, it just wouldn't get that hard
again.

   Gerry rolled off me, and cuddled me up in his right arm.  I lay with my
shoulder on his chest, and ran my fingers over his hard little nipples,
playing with the hair on his chest, the way I'd seen girls do it in the
movies.  I felt complete, and natural doing this.  I hoped that Gerry had
liked me enough that he would want to go out with me, on a steady basis.

   After he recuperated, he kissed me and told me that that was by far the
best blowjob that he had ever had.  He complimented me, telling me that I
was a natural cocksucker, and that he was thankful that he'd found me
before some other guy had come along and snapped me up.

   He got dressed and went in to take a shower.  I redid my makeup.  I left
on my waistcincher, but, removed my stockings and panties, and shoes.  I
stepped into a frilly pink babydoll pajama set, pink high heeled mules with
a large pink puff ball ot the toe, and wrapped a floor length diaphonous
pegnoir about myself.  I especially loved this one because it was satiny
soft, and clung to my legs as I walked about in it.

   I was hard again, but, just let it be loose in the frilly pink briefs,
that I wore.  I was sure, that, in due course, Gerry would deal with it for
me.  I hoped he would, anyway.

   I poured myself some more wine, and sat in the livingroom, my feet
curled up under me, waiting for my lover to get out of the shower.  He came
out, naked, and came over to sit beside me on the couch.  As we watched
television, I reached over and fondled his penis, till I had made him hard
again.  I got onto my hands and knees, and knelt beside him, as he watched
the late night news.  I sucked him, slowly, enjoying the fact that I was a
girl, and I was sucking my boyfriend's cock, just like I had always
fantasized.

   As I sucked, Gerry had his hand on the front of my panties, and was
driving me wild.  Every once in a while, he'd slide it down the back of my
panties and poke around at my hole.  It was delightful.  I sucked him for
over twenty minutes before he came again.  He did not cum nearly as much as
he did the first time, but, he did cum for me.  I kept him in my mouth till
he got very small again.

   Then, it was my turn.  I lay on my back.  Gerry pulled down my panties,
and in only seconds, had made me explode in a deliscious orgasm.  When he
deposited the cum into my mouth, I actually licked the inside of his mouth
clean.

   Then, I cuddled in his left arm, finished my wine, and purred.  I was
happier than I had ever been.  He took me to bed.

   More will follow if you tell me to write more.

   End of Chapter One