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Subject: NEW TG: Life With Brian
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Hi.  

This is the first story I've ever written.  Let me know if you like =
it, or if you think it needs more work.

Thanks

Becky



Life with Brian.
by Rebecca A.


Brian and I had been best friends for as long as I could remember, =
although I wondered why from time to time.  Sometimes he drove me =
nuts.  He sometimes behaved really oafishly - or just insensitively - =
and he could be opinionated, too.  Not that he didn't have good =
reason to be.  He was always one of the smartest kids I knew, and he =
was captain of the football team when we were at high school.  Brian =
was one of those good-looking golden boys for whom life always =
naturally came easy, smiling his way through difficult situations =
with a flash of his blue eyes and an easy laugh.  Whenever we fell =
out he always won me over again with some quick-witted remarks and a =
look that seemed to say "what, you don't like me?  How can you =
resist?"

I never figured out why he was friends with me, unless it was just an =
accident of geography since we lived next door to one another when we =
were kids.  I was the opposite of everything Brian surrounded himself =
with.  While Brian's family was relatively well-off my Mom and I were =
always struggling.  I was only average at school, and while I wasn't =
one of the geeks I wasn't very popular either.  I was too short and =
small to be any good at sport, and not muscular or handsome enough to =
get girls easily.  The girls I did go out with were more attracted by =
the proximity to Brian, I think.  

For whatever reason, Brian and I remained friends throughout school.  =
After we graduated he went off to California to do pre-med at college =
in Los Angeles, and I stayed in the same hokey little burg we'd grown =
up in, working myself into a brain-dead state in a job in an =
insurance company.  I didn't have the grades for a scholarship to =
college, and my Mom couldn't afford to help me out with money since =
Dad had skipped out on us when I was three.  There was the community =
college, but I would have to move closer in to the city to attend, or =
commute four hours a day on the bus.

Only three months after I got the job the company went through a =
round of 'downsizing', and after three more months I still hadn't =
found a new job.   I got a phone call around then from Brian, =
wondering how I was and what I was up to.  I told him I wasn't up to =
much, and he told me I should come out to the coast and stay at his =
place - he was sure there were more jobs in California, and he had =
plenty of room.  After talking it over with Mom we agreed that at =
worst I'd get to see the ocean (I never had before) and I couldn=B9t =
do much worse than the jobs I'd recently been getting rejections for. =
 Mom and my Grandma gave me farewell hugs and a couple of hundred =
dollars, and I caught a bus for the bright lights.

Brian met me at the bus station, and sped me home to his little =
apartment in his beat up Rabbit convertible.  He was wrong about =
having plenty of room, I realised as soon as we walked in.  Apart =
from the apartment being tiny it was full of an enormous amount of =
clutter.  Where had he acquired all this stuff in such a short time?  =
I said as much and he told me all the furniture had come with his =
previous girlfriend, Ashleigh, who had dropped out a few months =
earlier and decided to leave for Nepal on some weird spiritual =
enlightenment thing.  Brian told me she was coming back but he didn't =
know when.  He looked kind of dejected when he talked about that so I =
didn't press him on it.  I did think at the time that Ashleigh's =
sense of interior decorating needed adjustment, but the awfulness of =
the striped couch was matched by Brian's evident total inability to =
clean so I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

We agreed I'd have to sleep on the couch for the time being.  Brian =
proposed that as soon as I got a job we could move to a bigger =
apartment and share the expense, which sounded fine with me.  In the =
meantime he would cover all the bills and rent from the money his =
parents gave him.  

Within a few days it was just like old times.  Despite our occasional =
ups and downs I was always more relaxed in Brian's presence than with =
anyone else, and he seemed glad to have someone to distract him from =
Ashleigh=B9s absence.  Pretty soon he began to devote more time to =
his studies, so I tried not to disturb him and devoted my time to =
searching for work.

In a few weeks I had begun to realise that in Los Angeles a =
high-school diploma didn't qualify me for much more than a car wash =
attendant.  I found that out when I got a job washing cars.  It =
didn't last, though.  One of the guys I was working with, Bob, had an =
argument with a customer a few weeks after I started, and it =
developed into a fight.  I was kind of shocked, and I just stood =
there while they hit one another.  When the customer filed a =
complaint with the police he claimed that there were two guys =
fighting with him - I don't know why unless he was embarrassed at Bob =
humiliating him - and my boss decided to fire both of us to shut the =
customer and the police up.  

Brian thought the whole incident was hilarious, since he knew I'd =
never been in a fight with anyone my whole life except the time Nicky =
Davis hit me in third grade, which didn't count because I was winded =
so it wasn't a fight, it was a single punch.

Needless to say I was less than amused.  I had no more savings at =
all.  I couldn't even afford to get my hair cut.  As it got longer I =
took to tying it back most days, and I always put it in a ponytail =
when I went for a job.  Brian tried his best to cheer me up, and made =
sure the refrigerator was well-stocked and we never wanted for =
anything at home, but I was dispirited with my lack of success with =
jobs and the difficulty of getting one without references.  I started =
to sleep late, and mope around the house all day because I had no =
money to go out.  One day I became aware that I really didn't like =
myself that much anymore.

After about two months of this I was at a low ebb, and one night over =
pizza which he had paid for I was unburdening myself on Brian yet =
again when suddenly he told me to cut it out, he'd had enough of my =
whining.  I was shocked, and upset, but I knew he was right - I had =
been complaining a lot lately.  He told me if I really wanted =
something to do I could start by cleaning the apartment up a little, =
he didn't know how I could be at home all day but the place looked =
worse than ever.  I started to say that he was the source of most of =
the mess but caught myself and held it in.  I owed Brian an awful lot.

Later he seemed to realise that he'd hurt my feelings with his =
outburst, and to make it up to me he treated me to a movie.  It was =
typical Brian, to act as though nothing had happened and be his usual =
charming witty self as we drove through the warm night with the top =
down.  By the end of the evening I'd forgotten all about our argument.

In the morning I made sure I cleaned the kitchen, bathroom and living =
room thoroughly while Brian was at college.  I left his bedroom =
alone, I figured that was his business.

In return, Brian started to try to involve me more in his life =
outside the apartment.  I got to meet more of his friends from =
college who were mostly nice although we didn't have a lot in common =
except for Brian.  I could see that a couple of girls in his year =
were infatuated with him.  He still had those good looks and that =
charm, but it seemed he was still hung up on Ashleigh and didn=B9t =
notice all the other attention.

Brian decided we should both be fitter, and we started jogging =
together in the mornings before he went off to classes.  At first I =
was reluctant, but it did make me feel better and got me out of the =
apartment.  We both started taking vitamins, and tried to eat better =
foods.  In a few weeks I noticed both our moods improved =
substantially, so I guess good health does have some short term =
benefits as well as the lasting ones Brian was keen about.

Over the next few months my success with jobs was just as limited, =
and I toyed with the idea of going back home to Mom.  But I enjoyed =
my time with Brian, although I was seeing less and less of him as his =
study increased.  And although I'd so far had only a little exposure =
to LA it seemed so much more exciting than my home town, and I didn't =
think I could stand to go back to somewhere where everyone knew me =
and I wasn=B9t anything.  In LA I was a failure but at least no-one =
except Brian knew.

I got to be a very good housekeeper.  Brian commented on it one =
morning about six months after I moved in, and as I looked around I =
had to admit the place had changed since I first saw it.  Apart from =
some general cleaning I'd also moved some stuff around, washed the =
curtains and put a cover on the horrible couch to tone it down a bit. =
 While the place didn't look like it would make Architectural Digest, =
it looked like my Mom wouldn't drop dead when she saw it.

Not long after that Brian got a letter from Ashleigh, the first in =
ages, and it really brought him down into a slump.  He became kind of =
listless and empty, and didn=B9t want to talk about it, so I tried my =
best to be supportive and didn=B9t pry.  I made sure he ate well and =
always had clean clothes and all that kind of stuff so that at least =
he could focus on his studies.  He looked at me kind of funny one =
night as I was doing the dishes after dinner and said "you know =
Chris, you make a terrific wife".  I threw the dishcloth at him in =
mock anger and he gave me his first smile in ages.  

Brian's spirits improved quickly after that, and I figured that he =
was finally over Ashleigh.  She sure had made a big impression on him =
considering they=B9d only been together for a few months.  Anyway, he =
devoted himself more to work, but we also did more stuff out like =
in-line skating and some hiking.  

About nine months after I moved to LA I started to feel a kind of =
strange fatigue, but I passed it off as a  mild virus and didn't =
think much about it.  I did notice that I wasn=B9t able to run quite =
as well as I had been.  I thought maybe I needed to improve my muscle =
tone a little, and so I signed up for a yoga class that was taught =
after hours at the civic centre.  Brian agreed to pay for it as a =
present for my eighteenth birthday, on the understanding that I =
wasn't going to go all mystical on him like Ashleigh did and wig out =
for Nepal or anything.  I had to reassure him that it wasn't that =
kind of course - it had very little meditation and a lot of muscle =
work.  Even so, I found that I had lost a little of the strength I =
had, and holding some of the poses was more difficult than I=B9d =
imagined it would be.  

Most of the others in my yoga class were women, and I struck up a =
friendship with one woman about ten years older than me.  Her name =
was Barbara and she was married with two kids.  She referred to the =
yoga as her sanity break.  She started driving me home after the =
class finished because it was pretty much on her way.  I liked her, =
she reminded me of a younger version of my Mom, who I was missing.

I started losing weight, even though I thought I was still eating the =
same amounts.  I didn't notice it at first because we didn=B9t have a =
set of scales in the apartment, but I did notice that some of my =
jeans were looser on me and so were the collars on my shirts.  Some =
of them were getting kind of thin, and I thought maybe they'd =
stretched.  But in the bathroom one morning I noticed that I was =
definitely thinner than I used to be.  I started to worry that I was =
wasting away.

Finally I got a little work.  Barbara told me her husband needed some =
part time assistance with his business, routine stuff like mail-outs =
to clients and keeping track of orders and deliveries.  It was only a =
day a week, but he could pay me cash and I could choose the day that =
was best for me.  I was really happy, not just because of the money, =
which wasn't going to be much, but because it would be my money and I =
wouldn't have to ask Brian for as much each week.

Brian was pleased for me, but reiterated that we were doing fine with =
the money we had,  He said I shouldn't feel obliged to contribute to =
the house expenses - the money I earned should be mine.  So I went to =
work for Barbara=B9s husband, John, who was nice enough but a bit =
distant.  The first day I started there I got the idea that he didn't =
really need me but that Barbara might have talked him into employing =
me.  I tried to impress him anyway, doing the work scrupulously, and =
dressing as well as I could.  I had become very used to having long =
hair by now, and so I always made sure my hair was tied back, and I =
was as polite as possible.  It didn't seem to matter, he always =
regarded me with a kind of surreptitious distrust.

I tried to make sure the house was as clean as ever and that Brian =
always got a healthy evening meal.  I didn=B9t want my work to =
interfere with that, because I was conscious of Brian's generosity in =
paying for all our living expenses.  I even began to clean his room =
as well as the rest of the apartment.  One day during the course of =
cleaning I found a few letters and photos which Ashleigh had sent =
him.  I idly flicked through the photos.  She sure was gorgeous.  I =
could see why Brian would still be hung up on her.  I felt guilty =
looking at the photos for some reason, so I decided not to pry =
through the letters and put them back in the drawer I=B9d found them =
in.

Brian=B9s room still had a fair bit of Ashleigh's stuff in it.  That =
made sense, I guess, since she had promised him she was coming back.  =
I straightened Brian's things up as much as I could, but I left the =
drawers with Ashleigh's underwear and other stuff untouched.  I =
didn=B9t think Brian wanted his life totally organised.

The apartment looked great, and I saved a little money from the job, =
so I spent a little on a couple of minor things to brighten the place =
up.  I was gonna buy myself some clothes with the first few paychecks =
I got, but I figured Brian had been really good to me and so I wanted =
to spend the money on stuff we could both benefit from.  Brian seemed =
pleased with the minor changes I made around the place, and I felt =
good for having done it.  Anyway, there were paychecks in the future =
to take care of clothing and other stuff.  The clothes I had were =
worn, but who cared?  John didn't seem to care how I looked at work.  =
I guess the benefit of running a mail-order business is you never =
have to see the customers.

A few weeks after I started work I was in the shower when I noticed =
my nipples were unusually sensitive, painful even.  I studied them =
and noticed that they looked pinker, and a little swollen.  There was =
a little hard lump under each of them.  I wondered if I had some kind =
of infection, and whether it was related to the weight loss.  I =
thought I'd ask Brian, he was still only doing the pre-med course but =
he was the closest thing to a medical reference I had.  

But I was too embarrassed for the next couple of weeks.  I almost =
asked him one night after dinner, but then I felt self-conscious and =
changed the subject before I got to ask anything.  Then after a =
couple of weeks the pain went away, although my nipples stayed a bit =
puffy.  If anything they were even more swollen.  

Over the next month I noticed Brian sneaking quick glances at me when =
he thought I wasn=B9t looking.  I wasn=B9t sure what he was looking =
at, but whenever I turned to meet his gaze he looked away.

I found I was needing to sleep more.  I still got up early to go =
jogging with Brian, but I started taking little naps in the =
afternoons on days I wasn=B9t working.  I thought I might still have =
been losing weight, so I bought a cheap pair of scales with some of =
my own money and weighed myself.  I was shocked.  Since I moved to LA =
I=B9d lost almost thirty pounds!  I wasn=B9t a big guy to begin with. =
 

I studied myself closely in the mirror, concerned by my still puffy =
nipples and the amount of muscle I seemed to have lost from my =
shoulders and chest.  My legs were still in good shape, the jogging =
seemed to be helping that, and I looked fit.  Maybe I was naturally =
meant to be lower in weight and it was just the exercise?

Later that evening I finally asked Brian what he knew about sudden =
weight loss.  He wanted to know why I was asking, and I mentioned =
most of the changes that had been taking place.  He shrugged, and =
said it didn't seem like anything to worry about, but if I wanted to =
see a Doctor...  I knew where that might lead considering the job I =
had with John didn't give me health benefits.

I didn=B9t want to mention what was happening to my chest to Brian.  =
There were some things guys just didn't talk about.

Over the next two months my weight seemed to stabilise at a little =
over 100lbs, which was alarming, but then it rose another 10lbs.  But =
there was no doubt about it now, my chest was definitely doing =
something weird.  One Sunday morning, a non-jogging day, I was in bed =
contemplating the day ahead when I ran my hand over my chest and =
noticed how extraordinarily good it felt.  I stroked my nipples a =
little and was rewarded with a very intense sensation.  That's when I =
knew.  

I leapt out of my bed on the couch and ran to the bathroom.  Tearing =
off the t-shirt I usually wore to bed I stared at myself in the =
mirror.  

I was turning into a girl.  

Oh so slowly, but that was what was happening.  I had small but =
definite breasts with largish dark pink nipples, and the weight I had =
put on recently seemed all to have gone to my butt.  There was an =
indentation at my waist, and I noticed that my neck and arms looked =
more slender.  The hair on my legs still looked kind of dark, but it =
seemed as though it was thinning.  I had never had much on my arms =
and none on my chest, so it was hard to tell anything from that.  

My penis didn't look as though it was affected much at all.  Although =
now that I reflected on it I hadn't had an erection for a long time.  =
I wondered why I hadn=B9t noticed that before?

I sat on the edge of the bathtub and wondered how and why this was =
happening.  I must have some kind of strange disease or something.  I =
had to find out a way to see a doctor.

Eventually I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror again.  I =
pulled my hair up and studied the way I looked.  My face had changed =
a little I think, though it was hard to tell.  It looked thinner =
overall, but my cheekbones looked bigger and my lips a little fuller. =
 Perhaps I was just imagining it.  I'd have to try to find a photo =
from a while ago to make a comparison.  I turned with my back to the =
mirror and tried to look over my shoulder to see how I looked from =
behind.  I noticed my back looked very much like a girl=B9s, too.  

Strangely, I felt more surprised than upset.  I got into the shower =
and washed my hair.  On the spur of the moment I decided to reach for =
the razor and shaving foam on the vanity and began to shave my legs =
while I was in the shower.  I nicked myself once, but mostly it was =
surprisingly easy.  Then, for good measure, I shaved my armpits too.  

I  got out of the shower and dried myself off.  "And the colored =
girls go doop, she-doop, doop-doop, she-doop" I sang under my breath. =
 How did the rest of it go?  "Plucked her eyebrows on the way, shaved =
her legs..."  Well, I wasn't quite ready to pluck my eyebrows.  But =
my legs felt great.  I idly thought I must have been losing my =
marbles to shave them, but they looked pretty good as well.  No =
regrets, I decided.  

I stayed in the bathroom a while, looking myself over.  Eventually I =
guess I came to my senses.  I realised I was gonna have to start =
covering myself up a little more unless I wanted Brian to notice what =
was happening to me.  I guessed I should also work out a way to get =
to a doctor pretty soon.  Idly I wondered why I wasn't really upset =
about all of this.  

I got out some surgical bandage from the bathroom cupboard and wound =
it around my chest in an attempt to flatten out my - well, my =
breasts, that was what they were now, there was no question about =
that.  When I was reasonably satisfied I wrapped a towel around =
myself, including my chest this time instead of letting it hang =
around my waist.  I wondered how come Brian hadn't said anything to =
me yet.  Surely he must have noticed this  before considering I hung =
around the house in t-shirts most of the time.  I stopped worrying =
about that and got dressed.  My legs felt amazing as I pulled my =
jeans over them, so smooth and, I had to admit, kind of sexy.  Then I =
combed my still damp hair out.  It was well and truly down between my =
shoulder blades by now.  I had gotten used to it being so long, in =
fact I kind of liked it.  

During the next week I explored a couple of aspects of my body I =
hadn't known about before.  My nipples were no longer sore, but they =
felt great when I touched them.  I played with them idly one morning, =
and although I didn=B9t get an erection I got the most wonderful =
feelings from them.  One morning in the bathroom after our run when =
Brian had gone off to college I experimented a little to see how much =
like a girl I was becoming.  I tied my hair up and tried to thin my =
eyebrows out a little.  I remembered reading years ago in one of my =
Mom's magazines that you had to do that from underneath the brows =
rather than on top.  I only took a little off, it hardly seemed =
noticeable.  Brian didn't notice it when he came home

Next day I went a little bit further.  I had been tidying Brian's =
room the day before and noticed a box of Ashleigh=B9s stuff in the =
bottom of the closet.  It was just some old makeup, a couple of =
lipsticks and some eyeliner and a dried up mascara.  So I tried on =
the lipstick and the eyeliner.  I couldn=B9t get anything out of the =
mascara, it seemed like it was all dried up.  I didn't much like the =
way the lipstick looked, either, I guessed it was the wrong colour =
for me since Ashleigh had dark hair and mine is blonde.  But it was =
an interesting experiment.  I thinned my eyebrows ever so slightly =
again the next day.

I realised a few weeks later that my body was still changing.  We =
were jogging, and although I'd bound my breasts up I could feel the =
weight on my chest moving around a little as we ran.  Next day I did =
the bandage up tighter but there was still a bit of discomfort.  I =
noticed after the shower that my breasts seemed to have grown a bit =
more.  They didn't look much bigger, but they felt kind of heavier.  =
And the nipples were definitely larger.  Maybe I should stop playing =
with them, I thought.

The other thing was that I wasn't needing to shave quite as much.  I =
had never needed to shave more than twice a week, anyway. The hairs =
didn't seem to be getting any thinner (well, maybe a little) but they =
weren=B9t growing as fast.  One morning I decided to just pluck the =
ones I could see instead of shaving them.  There were only about =
twenty or thirty.  I had always hated shaving, and not having to made =
my skin feel a lot better.  But I kept shaving my legs.  I asked =
myself why I was doing it, because I thought it was a little bit =
kinky.  But I guess in the context of the way my body was changing it =
was the least thing I needed to worry about.  It did mean that I =
needed to wear long sweat pants when jogging with Brian, though.

I started to jog a bit less strenuously, and found that if I moved a =
little differently there was less impact and I could still run =
comfortably.  I was pleased, since I figured a lower impact would =
help prevent injuries anyway.

I was being more careful about how much of myself I let Brian see.  =
Because I slept in the living room I didn=B9t have a lot of privacy, =
but I was always up and dressed before Brian even stirred so there =
wasn=B9t that much chance he=B9d see me naked.  Just in case I took =
to getting dressed in the bathroom so there wasn't any chance at all =
of trouble.  

My clothes started to be hard to wear.  My jeans just didn't seem to =
fit right any more, they were way too small around my hips - =
painfully tight in fact.  And way too loose around the waist.  I =
tried belting them in a bit, but that made the size of my waist way =
too obvious.  It made me look too much like a girl, and I was worried =
Brian was gonna say something if I did that.  I still hadn=B9t saved =
much money, but I knew I was gonna have to do something about buying =
some jeans that fit.  

I went shopping during the next week, and bought two new pairs of =
jeans from the Gap.  The saleswoman and I spent a lot of time trying =
to find the right size.  The first thing I told her, without =
thinking, was my old size, and she looked at me kind of weird.  =
Eventually we found some that fit.  I wasn=B9t sure what to think =
when I noticed they were 'classic women's fit'.

Brian complimented me on the new jeans when he saw them on me, and =
strangely I blushed.  I was pleased he liked them.  I realised when I =
tried them on with some of my other stuff, though, that my old =
clothes were getting too faded and ratty for me to keep wearing them =
for much longer.  And my shirts kind of hung on me, since I'd lost so =
much weight up around my shoulders.

Since my hips and butt had gotten so much bigger I was having trouble =
with my old underwear, too.  I stole a couple of pairs of panties =
from Ashleigh=B9s stuff, and they fit very well.   I also found that =
I was a lot more comfortable in the jeans if I tucked my penis behind =
me inside the panties.  What the heck, I figured, panties and such =
like were the least of my worries.  I wasn=B9t queer, I was just =
turning into a girl!

Work was pretty boring, but I was grateful for the money, however =
small it was.  I'd been for three more jobs recently, but now I was =
having to explain to the interviewers what I'd been doing for the =
past year or so.  'Home duties' didn=B9t seem to really cut it with =
them.  I couldn't mention the job with John because that was off the =
books, and the only other job I'd ever had was those three short =
months back home.  My future seemed bleak, so I was glad when John =
offered me an extra day at work, and then an extra half day as well.  =
I did notice he'd started acting a bit different around me, though, =
which I took as a sign that he actually knew I existed.  He was even =
pretty nice a few times.  Of course whenever Barbara came in she and =
I had a great time talking and laughing, but I tried not to seem like =
I was slacking off.  We had both stopped the yoga classes together, =
although I still practised at home every morning after jogging, so it =
was great that I still got to see her from time to time through work. =
 Apart from Brian she was really the only friend I had in LA.

It had been four more months since I'd first noticed the changes that =
were happening to me, and the weather was starting to get warmer.  My =
hair was now down to just above my waist.  In the supermarket I =
noticed people started to mistake me for a girl from time to time, =
especially if I had my hair out.  I also noticed it was getting =
harder to bind my breasts up.  So around the house when Brian was out =
I stopped bandaging them up.  Every afternoon when I wasn't working I =
had a little nap, and afterward I=B9d put the bandage on and get up =
to prepare dinner.  In the mornings, though, I would let them hang =
free, which felt much more comfortable.

A couple of times I tried on some of the things that were left in =
Ashleigh=B9s side of the closet.  There wasn't a lot there, just a =
few dresses and a couple of blouses and skirts.  Mostly they fitted =
me pretty well.  Each time I tried them on I marvelled at the way my =
body had developed, but I also felt guilty rummaging through her =
things.  I didn't do it often.  Out of more curiosity I bought myself =
a better color lipstick and some cheap mascara one afternoon.  I =
didn=B9t have anywhere to wear it, but I was trying to figure out =
more about who I was becoming.  It looked much better than Ashleigh's =
old colours.  I started to think I might even be a little bit good =
looking.

The thing that made me finally go to a doctor a few months later was =
that my penis seemed to be shrinking slightly.  I hadn=B9t had an =
erection in over two years now, since just after I'd moved to LA.  =
That didn't really worry me, especially since I got so much pleasure =
out of playing with my breasts.  But although a lot of the other =
changes that had happened to me hadn=B9t bothered me much I thought I =
should go and get all this checked out.  After all, inside I was =
still a guy even if my body was beginning to resemble a game show =
hostess.

I had saved a bit of money, enough for a visit to the doctor.  I went =
late one afternoon.  At reception I introduced myself as Chris =
Neilsen, and didn't have to wait long before I was called by the =
doctor, a pretty woman in her mid-thirties who was about my height.  =
In her office we talked for a short while and then she started =
looking at me a bit strangely.  She looked at the notes the =
receptionist had made, which were basically just my name and address =
and the fact that I didn=B9t have insurance, and then she said "So, =
Chris is short for...?"

As soon as I said Christopher I knew from her expression what the =
problem was.  She had thought I was a girl, too.  So that made it =
easier to tell her what the problem was, since clearly she could see! =
 She had me undress and then she examined me.  "You obviously have =
some kind of hormonal imbalance", she said.  "How long has your body =
been like this?"  I told her the whole story, about losing all the =
weight and everything else.  She asked me how I felt about the =
changes and I shrugged.  I figured I shouldn=B9t have been worried =
but really I was kind of used to things, it had all happened so =
slowly.  And there were some things I liked.  I know I was more =
sensitive in a lot of ways, especially to smells and touch and subtle =
sounds.  I didn=B9t mind that.

She told me I should buy myself a sports bra if I was going to keep =
running, at least until she could arrange for a mastectomy.  When she =
said that word I flinched involuntarily, which she noticed.  I =
didn=B9t want anyone to cut into my breasts!  She murmured something =
like "if that=B9s what you decide you want" and told me to get =
dressed.

What did I want?  Who knows?

I walked out of her office and down to the bus stop feeling kind of =
odd.  So, she=B9d told me I had a hormonal imbalance.  Like, duh!  =
She couldn't tell me why without a whole lot of tests.  She did tell =
me that I was otherwise incredibly healthy and fit, which I pretty =
much knew.  Apart from that virus back before I lost weight I hadn't =
been sick for years, and since I exercised almost every day I knew my =
body was in great shape.  It was just a strange shape!

As I stood at the bus stop I noticed in the corner of my eye that a =
guy was looking me over.  Then I realised I hadn=B9t put my bandage =
back on after I'd left the doctor, and he could see my nipples =
clearly outlined through my t-shirt.  I crossed my arms to try to =
cover them, which had the paradoxical effect of pushing my bust line =
higher.  Fortunately the bus came at that moment and I got on.  He =
remained at the stop, so I guess it wasn't his route.  As the bus =
pulled away I caught his eye again, and surprised myself by giving =
him a wink and a smile.  He grinned back at me, and for some reason I =
felt really good.

By the time I got home it was getting late.  I stopped off at the =
mini-mart down the street and got some ice-cream for dinner.  Yi, the =
Taiwanese woman who ran the place, gave me an enormous smile when she =
saw me, and told me how well I was looking.  I realised I was still =
smiling, ever since that guy at the bus stop.  We chatted briefly as =
we always did when I went to the mart for anything,  then I hurried =
back home.  I did like how that guy had made me feel.  That was =
pretty weird, wasn't it?

I walked up the stairs singing softly to myself, swinging the plastic =
bag with the icecream in it and thinking about what I was going to =
cook Brian for dinner.  I opened the door and was sailing blithely =
through the living room when he appeared in the doorway to the =
kitchen and said "Hi, I=B9m home early".  

"Hi," I said cheerfully, before I noticed his eyes go straight to my =
chest,  they flicked straight back up again, and he tried to keep the =
expression on his face fixed, but I had noticed him looking at my =
breasts and I blushed.  I squeezed past him into the kitchen and put =
the icecream into the freezer.  I didn't know what to say as I turned =
around.

He couldn't stop looking at my chest, though he was trying hard not =
to.  I folded my arms again.

"Uh, Chris..."  he gurgled.

I had my back to the fridge, and I sank down to the floor and put my =
head my knees.  Uh oh.  What was he gonna say, now that he knew?  =
Brian wasn't just my best friend, he was practically my only friend.  =
He walked over to me and bent down to take my hand.  I looked up at =
him and he pulled me to my feet.  I was terrified.  Was he gonna hit =
me?  What?  Instead he hugged me.  I could feel his hands on my back, =
and my breasts flattened against his chest.  I realised for the first =
time just how much bigger than me he was.  He probably weighed at =
least twice what I did and then some.  

He pulled back from me and looked me up and down, paying particular =
attention to my breasts again.  I tossed my hair behind me and tried =
to smile, but I guess I was really looking like I was gonna burst =
into tears.

"Wow", Brian said.  Then I did burst into tears.  He hugged me again, =
and then he poured us both a large tumbler of Scotch each.  I slugged =
mine down, and he poured me another.  "Did you know you=B9re =
beautiful?"  he suddenly said to me.

Well, that caused some strange reactions in me!  I blushed again, and =
looked away.  I was secretly pleased.  And then I realised, for the =
very first time, that I loved Brian.  Not the way guys like each =
other.  I actually loved him in a really deep way, and in a physical =
way, too.  I realised that he=B9d known that things were changing =
between us for a while, but he had been too kind to say anything to =
me - until today, when he couldn't pretend he didn't know because he =
couldn't take his eyes off my tits.  

I raised my eyes to meet his again and he tilted my face up to him =
and bent to kiss me.  I just melted into him.  He kissed me and =
touched me and then I felt his hand moving up to my breast and it =
felt so good!  After a little while I kind of lost track of what was =
happening, because everything he was doing felt wonderful.  Then he =
actually picked me up and carried me into his room.  

He stood me beside the bed and undid the button on my jeans and began =
to pull them down.  He looked a little surprised when he saw the =
panties, but he didn=B9t say anything.  He pulled my t-shirt over my =
head.  He began to undo his own clothing as he bent to kiss my neck, =
and then my chest.  After he had his shirt off he lifted me onto the =
bed, standing, so that my nipples were at the height of his mouth, =
and he flicked his tongue over them as he took his own jeans off.  I =
moaned and closed my eyes.  Then he lifted me again and lay me down =
on the bed.  

He explored my body with his mouth for a long time, kissing me on my =
belly and my thighs and my breasts and even on the arches of my feet. =
 I was on fire.  I was running my hands over his body and loving the =
way he felt - his body was so different to my own!  Eventually I came =
to his cock, and when I felt it I opened my eyes in surprise.  It was =
enormous, at least it was now that it was fully erect.  I stroked it =
a few times and he smiled gently at me and then went back to kissing =
me again.  Then, as though he could bear it no longer, he rolled me =
over on the bed and tore down my panties, and then I could feel him =
applying something slick and wet to my anus.  I tensed a little, but =
I didn't say anything.  If this was what he wanted...

He told me again how beautiful he thought I was, and then came into =
me gently - at least I think he was trying to be gentle.  But it felt =
like agony, he felt way too big for me.  I whimpered, and he =
withdrew.  Then he brushed my hair off to one side and kissed my neck =
until I relaxed, then came in me again, this time forcefully.  He =
held my shoulders and pumped into me, and the pain gradually gave way =
to a different feeling, a good feeling.  I did love Brian, and I =
loved it that he liked the things that had happened to me, and it was =
good to have him inside me like this.  After a while, as I was =
starting to enjoy the sensations, he tensed and shuddered and came =
into me in an enormous series of spasms.  A few moments later he =
withdrew.  I could feel his seed inside me.  He lay behind me with my =
back to him, and cupped my breasts and stroked them some more.  I =
smiled.  I felt great, better than I ever had when I'd had sex with a =
girl, even though I didn't come.  I  snuggled into him as he held me =
and told me he loved me.  I warm glow went through me and we lay =
there together for a very long time.

***

It was getting dark by the time we got up from the bed.  Brian kissed =
my neck and told me it was time to go have a shower, so I stood up =
and turned away from him, worried that my body would look odd from =
the front, and scurried into the bathroom.  I felt his seed running =
down my leg as I walked.  I took a very long time in the shower as I =
washed my hair.  When I came out I wrapped a towel around my body, =
including my breasts, and smiled shyly at him.  He stood up and came =
over to kiss me.  

"Let=B9s go out,"  he said.  "Somewhere nice.  Why don=B9t you get =
dressed up?"

I was about to respond that I had no clothes that would be 'dressed =
up' when it hit me that Brian was thinking of me as a woman, and =
suggesting that we go out together as a couple.  I blushed again.  He =
released me from the embrace and patted me on my butt.  Then he went =
off to have a shower, and I dried my hair.  I hardly ever used a =
dryer on it, which meant it was in good condition for long hair.  =
After I finished it had a lot more body to it, and it shone.  By that =
time Brian was out of the shower again and had dressed and was in the =
living room watching television and waiting for me.  All my stuff was =
in the living room, but I realised I didn't need my stuff, I needed =
some of the things that Ashleigh had left behind.  I rifled through =
her drawers and found a very sexy pair of panties I hadn=B9t seen =
before.  I looked through the few bras that were there, too, but all =
of them were a little small for me.  Ashleigh had been an A-cup, and =
I was easily approaching a C.  It was probably better to do without =
one.  I took a long black sleeveless linen dress from the closet and =
put it on.  It had a low back with straps that crossed below my =
shoulder blades, and it gathered my breasts together a little and =
accentuated my cleavage.  I had tried it on before, of course, though =
I think my breasts had become a little larger since then.  

I was glad I'd practiced with makeup before.  Even so I was a little =
nervous, and I had to reapply my eyeliner because I was shaking.  I =
kept thinking of the way Brian had made me feel when we were in bed.  =
Eventually I got the makeup right.  I looked at myself in the mirror, =
and then reached for one of the barrettes in the box of Ashleigh's =
stuff and pinned my hair up on my left side.  It showed off my neck =
and breasts better.

The only shoes I could find were a pair of strappy black sandals with =
a chunky 2" heel.  I didn=B9t have any trouble walking in them but =
they were a little tight on my feet and I hoped I wouldn=B9t have too =
stand up too much in them.

Finally I was ready.  I took a deep breath and went into the living =
room to see Brian.  He smiled broadly when he saw me, and then he =
stood and took both my hands in his.  "Chris, you look absolutely =
beautiful", he said, looking me deep in the eyes.  I knew he meant =
it, and I relaxed and smiled back.

We went downstairs to the car.  I discovered I had to be careful on =
the stairs in heels.  In deference to my hair Brian left the top up =
although it was a balmy night.

Brian took me to a wonderful little restaurant that was dark and =
intimate, and we were given a very private table over in a corner, =
with just a candle lighting it.  At first I was very nervous that =
people in the restaurant would realise I wasn't exactly a woman, and =
I was shaking a little as we were led to our table.  I couldn't =
remember when the last time was that I'd eaten out.  The waiter =
pulled my chair out for me so I could sit down, and I remembered to =
smooth my dress under me so it didn't crease too badly.  

At first I was afraid to talk over dinner.  I thought my voice would =
give me away.  I didn't have a very deep voice at all, but I knew I =
would sound like a guy when I spoke.  So I let Brian do the ordering, =
and mostly that night I just listened to Brian talk, and asked him =
the occasional question to keep him going.  He never had any trouble =
talking, and that evening he was especially witty and entertaining.  =
I found myself laughing and smiling and overcoming my nervousness =
easily.  As we left the restaurant I took his arm.  He seemed to like =
it, and that made me feel good.

When we got back to the apartment he undressed me slowly, murmuring =
his approval of my body before he once again laid me on the bed and =
made love to me.  This time I wasn't as scared when he came into me, =
and he lasted for longer.  Afterward we lay together facing one =
another, both very happy.

He asked me how I felt about the events of the day, and about looking =
the way I did.  I told him I felt better then than I ever had before =
in my life.  I also said that I was surprised by my reaction to all =
the changes in my body.  I should have been afraid of everything that =
had happened to me, but instead I seemed to accept the changes quite =
happily.  Maybe I had been meant to be a girl all along.

"I've thought that about you for years,"  said Brian.  "You've always =
fascinated me that way."  Then he told me he'd like it if I kept on =
being a girl, his girl.  I realised there wasn't anything else I =
wanted as much.  I ran my hands through the thick mat of blond hair =
on his chest and he told me he loved me, that he=B9d always loved me. =
 We made love again and then finally went to sleep.

***

Next morning he woke me with a kiss.  I saw that it was much later =
than I usually woke, and that we had both slept through our jogging =
time.  So I hugged him and then jumped up from the bed and pulled on =
my panties.  I borrowed one of his giant t-shirts, and trudged off to =
the bathroom and then to the kitchen to make breakfast for him.  We =
each took our vitamins with orange juice, and this morning I decided =
to squeeze it, fresh, from the bag of oranges I had bought a couple =
of days earlier. 

As I finished squeezing the juice Brian came into the kitchen, =
showered and dressed for college.  He patted me on the butt again as =
I poured his juice, and stroked his fingers up my thigh as he was =
sitting down.  I purred.  Then he handed me a credit card, and gave =
me instructions to use it sparingly but to buy myself some new =
clothes that day.  I was gonna protest but he would have none of it.  =
As he said, I needed some new clothes anyway.  He pulled me into his =
lap and told me that if I was going to be Christina instead of =
Christopher I was going to have to pay more attention to the things =
he said.  I pulled a face at that and told him that he'd have to look =
up feminism in the college library, and we both laughed.  

After I kissed him goodbye at the front door I did the breakfast =
dishes and decided to take him at his word.  I called Barbara up and =
asked her if she was busy, and if she'd mind coming  shopping with me =
for some stuff I needed.  I didn't tell her what had happened between =
Brian and I, or the kinds of things I needed help shopping for, but =
she seemed very pleased to get out of the house and said she'd be =
over to pick me up in an hour or so.

I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt (only this time one of Ashleigh's), =
then brushed my hair carefully and pinned it back from my face but =
without tying it up.  I put on just a trace of mascara and some =
lipstick.  Then I spent the rest of the hour watching bad morning =
television and talking into Brian=B9s tape recorder, trying to =
imitate the way the women on TV talked.  I found if I talked softly =
and pronounced words more carefully I sounded much better.  I knew =
I'd need a lot of practice, but I felt more confident.  

The buzzer for the door downstairs sounded and I pushed the button to =
let Barbara come up.  As I opened the door to let her in her face =
registered only mild surprise at the way I looked, though she did a =
double take when she saw my breasts puching though the t-shirt.  =
"Well, hello," she said, smiling.  "Haven't you come out of your =
shell today."

I blushed and said hello, trying my best to keep my voice sounding =
acceptable.  I asked her whether she wanted coffee, and she sat at =
the kitchen table while I made it.  

"I wondered when you'd get around to telling everyone," she said.  I =
looked at her questioningly.  She told me that she'd known for ages =
that something was going on.  She'd noticed in yoga classes that my =
body had been changing dramatically.  I protested that I had been =
careful to bind my breasts when I was doing yoga, but she told me it =
was my hips and butt more than anything else that had given the game =
away.  I shrugged.  Whatever.  At least she was still my friend.  She =
asked me if I wanted to be called anything different, and I said =
Brian had called me Christina so I guessed Chris was still okay.  She =
raised her eyebrows at that.  "How does Brian feel about all this?"  

I blushed all the way down to my toes.  Barbara had never met Brian, =
but I'd told her all about him and our friendship over the years.  I =
think she guessed from the way I skittered nervously around the =
kitchen that he and I had been more than friends since he found out.  =
I told Barbara that he had discovered my secret by accident when he =
came home early the previous day.

We finished our coffee and drove down to the mall.  The first thing =
we did was head to the lingerie department.  I had to try on a few =
bras before I worked out which ones fit best.  I was right, I was a =
C-cup.  I bought a few cheap pairs of panties, too.  Then we went to =
the cosmetics section of one of the anchor stores and got a makeover =
from a woman at one of the counters.  I only bought some blusher and =
a powder compact, but she taught me some tricks I didn't know.  The =
three of us actually had a pretty good time as the consultant showed =
me how to apply stuff.  I tried to keep my voice soft and a little =
higher, and she seemed not to think there was anything unusual about =
me.  Barbara distracted her from time to time when she thought I was =
taking too much.  

Then I bought a new pair of women's sneakers to replace the rather =
awful pair I had on.  Barbara told the salesman to throw the old ones =
in the bin, and demanded that I also buy a pair of high-heeled pumps. =
 I told her I was trying not to spend too much because it was Brian's =
credit card, and she raised her eyebrows at that, too.  But I gave in =
and bought them.

Walking back through the mall Barbara diverted me to a small boutique =
and ruffled through the racks before pulling out a short red silk =
dress.  She told me to go try it on.  I hesitated, since I certainly =
wasn=B9t going to spend that much of Brian=B9s money, but she bundled =
me into the fitting room.  When I came out she and the saleswoman =
exchanged glances and Barbara said immediately "We'll take it."  I =
protested, and she told me she was buying it for me as a gift and =
that I should shutup and be thankful.  I dutifully thanked her and =
insisted we leave the mall before I could do more damage to anyone's =
bank balance.

But instead of leaving we went and had lunch at a cafe downstairs in =
the mall.  Feeling  guilty, I paid for lunch for both of us out of my =
own money.  Then Barbara led me over to a hair salon, and asked if =
they could squeeze in an appointment that afternoon.  I took her =
aside and said that I liked my hair long and didn't need it cut, but =
she insisted that it would look better if the ends were trimmed and =
that Brian would appreciate it.  So in I went.  Barbara said she had =
some shopping she wanted to do by herself, and scurried off.

At the urging of the stylist I agreed to have a couple of inches =
taken off my hair, so that it would be healthier and more manageable. =
 I was reluctant, but she pointed out that it was almost down to my =
butt and that it would probably be better to cut it even if only for =
the sake of my spine.  So I agreed.  A few hours later I emerged with =
my hair trimmed and styled and softly curled and subtly lightened =
from its usual mousy blonde to a lighter more feminine shade.  =
Barbara, laden down with shopping, smiled and told me I looked =
beautiful and that I was going to make an enormous impression on =
Brian that night.

We drove home late in the afternoon.  I invited Barbara up again to =
chat while I began to prepare dinner.  Then she gave me two small =
shopping bags, and told me I couldn't look inside until after she'd =
gone but that they contained other presents I would need.  I tried to =
be angry at her for spending so much on me, but she told me it was =
her way of making up for John underpaying me so badly.  That was when =
I remembered I had to work the next day, and that John would need to =
know.  Barbara said not to worry, he had already figured most of it =
out and he'd decided he liked me much better as a girl than as a boy. =
 She said it had been a good thing for him to have to deal with how =
strange and androgynous I had been some days at work, because he had =
been very narrow minded until he discovered he had a soft-spot for me.

So that was one hurdle out of the way.

We were nattered on about nothing in particular for a while, and then =
Barbara said to me "How did you bring about this amazing change?  Is =
it a local doctor?"  I looked at her blankly, and explained that the =
changes in my body had just kind of happened, and that when I=B9d =
been to a doctor she=B9d said it was probably just a hormonal =
imbalance.  "Some imbalance,"  said Barbara cynically.  "You haven't =
been taking pills?"

I told Barbara I had an aversion to drugs of almost any kind except =
wine, and that the only things like that to pass my lips were the =
vitamins that Brian and I took every morning.  Since we both took =
them - and Brian hadn=B9t changed - that couldn't be the cause.  =
Curious, Barbara asked to see them.  I took down the bottles from the =
top of the refrigerator, and she studied them carefully.  She paid =
particular attention to the ones for calcium and vitamin E, then =
finally she said softly to me "Honey, I don=B9t know what they are, =
but these sure ain=B9t vitamins."  She showed me the little drug =
company logos on the tablets, and then held up the vitamin C, which =
had no markings.  "This is a vitamin tablet."

I had to sit down.  How?  And why wasn't Brian changed by them?  =
Finally I realised how dumb I was.  Brian was taking them, but he =
clearly wasn't swallowing them, or he was just pretending to swallow =
them.  

I looked at Barbara, who shrugged.  "Why?" I said softly, and she put =
her hand on mine.  

Then everything became clear.  Brian had done this to me.  I felt =
strange.  Did this mean I couldn't trust him?  Barbara asked me how I =
felt about the changes, and I told her I felt good, I felt great.  =
She said that in that case I had nothing to worry about, and I should =
be grateful to Brian for giving me what made me happy.  She seemed =
kind of unconvinced, though.  I thought of what Brian had said the =
previous night, "I've thought that way about you for years."

Barbara told me she had to leave and get dinner started for John, but =
that she would stop by at work next day to see how I was.  She hugged =
me and wished me luck, and told me she thought I made a beautiful =
woman and she was jealous of how pretty I was.  By the time she left =
I was feeling a little better.  I unwrapped the shopping and put on =
the beautiful red dress.  I felt better.  Then I unwrapped the two =
other presents Barbara had bought for me.  The first was a copy of =
'Everywoman', which made me smile.  The second was a very sexy blue =
nightgown.

Brian came home at his usual time.  As he came through the door I =
wasn=B9t sure what to do.  He smiled one of his gorgeous smiles and =
told me how wonderful my hair looked, then swept me up in his arms =
and kissed me.  I must have been a little cold, because he pulled =
back from me after a moment and asked me what was wrong.  I looked =
across at the table, and he followed my gaze and noticed the =
'vitamins' spread out there.  He looked back at me and I caught a =
flash of guilt.  Barbara was right.  

He reached out for me and held my hands in his.  Looking deep into my =
eyes he said "Christina, I love you, I=B9ve always loved you.  I love =
you more now than ever before.  And you are truly beautiful.  I =
didn=B9t know how to tell you before, although I meant to several =
times.  But I knew you would like this.  I knew this was right for =
you."

We talked.  Brian had gotten the pills from a nurse he knew.  From =
what I could understand he had to pay quite a lot for them.  But he =
knew what he was doing medically.  At first he had just given me =
antiandrogens, which were the things that had made me weak and tired =
and caused me to lose a lot of my muscles.  It wasn't until later =
that he=B9d begun substituting estrogens and progesterones for the =
other vitamins, and my breasts and hips had started growing so much.  =
He told me he just couldn=B9t bear to watch me trying to be a guy, =
since inside he could see a beautiful woman.

Brian said a lot of other stuff, mostly about how he wanted nothing =
more than to make me happy and to be with me.  I learned that =
Ashleigh had written to him ages ago to say that she had fallen in =
love with a Dutch guy while hiking and that she was moving somewhere =
in Asia with him and wasn=B9t coming back.  Brian had been very hurt =
by that, but that it was the thing that cleared his mind and allowed =
him to see that the reason he hadn't been happy with her or other =
girls was because he really wanted to be happy with me.

I have to admit that all his talking began to overwhelm me.  I was =
trying to be stoney faced and angry with him, but he gradually wore =
me down.  Eventually he even got me to smile a bit.  He knew then =
that I had forgiven him, even if it might take a while for me to tell =
him so.  

He knelt on the floor beside my chair and produced something from his =
pocket.  I hesitantly took the small box, knowing what would be =
inside (I might be dumb, but I'm not completely idiotic!).  It was a =
small ruby and diamond engagement ring.  I looked at him and he =
returned my gaze.  I was speechless for a few moments.  I wanted to =
slip the ring onto my finger, but I knew this was all too good to be =
true.

"Brian, I can't.  I=B9m not really a woman."

"Yet,"  he said seriously.  "But you can think about that, can't you? =
 It can be a long engagement if you want."

And with that he helped guide the ring onto my finger, then scooped =
me up and took me to the bedroom.

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