From: adietrech@aol.com (A Dietrech)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories
Subject: Story: Cut It Off 1/1 (TG/TS, femdom)
Date: 3 Dec 1994 09:45:29 -0500

Cutitoff.txt
by
Rebecca


     It has been well over a year now and I think the worst part has
been the loneliness. Oh, I've had television to watch and there have
been newspapers and books to read but the lack of human companionship
was at times almost unbearable. Peggy has been my only visitor and the
pain and humiliations that I have suffered at her hands have not always
made her welcome company. Well, to be perfectly honest, there have been
others who have visited me here but they all worked for Peggy. They only
added to my shame and I probably will not tell you about all of them.
Your first question would probably be, "Why did you stay -- Why not be
a man and leave?" I coundn't!! This room is approximately twenty feet
square and I was wearing a fifteen foot chain attached to my right
ankle. I could travel to my bed, my chair, the television set and the
bathroom. I could not even reach the door and if I could it wouldn't
help because it was always locked. The room had no windows and calling
for help was a waste of strength because this large house is located in
the center of a four hundred acre farm. In the beginning I honestly did
try to conjure up ways to escape but each time Peggy would devise means
to punish me. She broke my spirit and now I offer no resistance to her
devious plans.
     I guess you are wondering how I managed to be in such a pathetic
situation. To be honest, I must admit that it is partly my own fault
even though I do feel that Peggy was over reacting to a degree. As I
look back now, I don't believe that my punishment was her sole motive.
It all started in 1990, or maybe it was 1989. It has been rather
difficult to keep up with time. Peggy was away at a medical convention
and I had closed my law practice for a week. I hardly even knew the girl
I was spending the week with. We met in a bar and I invited her out here
to the farm for drinks and some swimming. As you probably guessed, we
ended up in bed together and she decided to stay for the entire week.
As luck would have it, Peggy came home early and caught us together. I
should have been suspicious when she showed very little anger. She
simply ask the girl to leave and told me that we would discuss my
indiscretions in the morning. When the morning came I discovered the
damn chain around my ankle and although I tried, I could not free
myself. Peggy had moved all of her things into the guest room and all
of my clothes had been moved somewhere.
     I raised holy hell that first day when I discovered the chain.
Peggy stayed extremely calm and refused to argue with me. While
pretending to unlock the chain, she gave me a shot in my leg that
completely knocked me out. When I awoke I not only had the chain on my
leg but my arms were also chained to the bed.
     My first reaction was anger but after an hour that dissolved into
self pity and by the time Peggy finally entered the room, real fear had
ensued. She pulled a chair up to my bedside and very coolly explained
that what I had done to her was not acceptable. I tried to apologize and
promised that it would never happen again.
     She said, "All of you men are the same. You will promise anything
but as long as that thing between your legs is working you will abuse
and take advantage of women. I don't think you are capable of knowing
how we feel as women and I am going to teach you a lesson. It may take
a long time but when I am through, you are going to understand how it
feels to be a woman. Remember one thing -- I'm not doing this to punish.
I'm doing it because I still love you and I want you to grasp some
reality. I want you to see the world through my eyes."
     "How long do you plan to keep me here? I asked. 
     "As long as it takes, which could be quite a while", is all she
would say.
     She reached into her medical bag and removed a hypodermic needle
and a small vile of clear liquid. She loaded the hypodermic and began
to rub cotton on my arm.
     "You don't need to give me any more knock-out drops. As you can
see, I'm not going anywhere".
     "Oh, this will not make you sleep. This is estrogen. Before you
know it, you are going to have so much of this in your system that you
may not even be able to find that tiger that hangs between your legs."
     Before I could raise an objection, she plunged the needle into my
arm and emptied the liquid into my vein. I was so shocked that all I
could do was stare at the tiny hole that was left in my arm.
     "As you know, darling, working as a plastic surgeon has brought me
in contact with many transsexuals. I have helped many of them become the
women they wanted and needed to be. I have never met a group of people
that respected and appreciated femininity as passionately as these men
do. Well, most of them are not men any more but as they go through the
change, it has always been such a pleasure for me to watch them cast
aside all of their pseudo macho garbage and become soft feminine loving
creatures. This is about to happen to you so you might as well relax and
enjoy the wonderful changes."
     I couldn't believe what I was hearing. There was no way she could
get away with this. My anger was uncontrollable. I screamed at her. I
tried to rip the chains from the wall but they didn't give an inch.
Every vile macho phrase I could think of was directed at her. I even
told her that if I ever got my hands free I would kill her. I was
kicking and screaming when she left the room. I pulled at my chains
until my wrist were bruised and bleeding. About two hours later, Peggy
came in and gave me a sedative and I slept.
     For three weeks I lay chained to that bed. Peggy would visit me
twice a day, once before she left for work and once when she returned
home. She would, each day, give me another of the estrogen shots, help
me with the bed pan, wash and feed me. I would beg her to unlock my
hands but she would only say, "Not now darling". I knew that it was only
a matter of time before my law partner got suspicious and came looking
for me. She could not call me in sick forever. I decided to remain calm
and just wait her out but on the third day of my incarceration, Peggy
brought in one of her little helpers. Without a word, the young woman
began setting up equipment beside my bed. Peggy never told me the girl's
name, she just introduced her as my electrologest.
     There was no way I was going to let that woman near my face so I
began to move my face urgently back and forth. Didn't faze Peggy. She
gave me another shot and when I awoke, my mustache was gone -- forever.
The next day Peggy explained that I had a choice. I could behave myself
and cooperate or get another shot. I got another shot. The third day I
cooperated. Most people can only stand one hour sessions of electrolysis
because of the pain. This girl worked for over eight hours at a time.
Each morning, before she left for work, Peggy would give me shots of
novocain in my face to kill the pain. These usually wore off by midday
and I was forced to bear the anguish.
     Finally, one day Peggy told me that it was time to take the chains
off my arms but that I would have to continue to wear the one on my
ankle. She explained that I could grab her and hurt her -- Maybe even
kill her but she wanted to remind me that she was the only person who
knew where I was. If something happened to her, I would eventually
starve to death. I was so pleased at the prospect of having the use of
my hands again that I promised to behave. Before she released my hands
she rubbed a smelly white cream all over my arms and legs. After about
thirty minutes she removed the cream with a wet wash cloth and I was
shocked to see that all of my hair came off with the cream. I then
realized what the cream was but for fear that she wouldn't release my
hands, I kept my mouth shut and didn't complain. I knew that it would
grow back.
     Being able to dispense with that damn bedpan was probably the
greatest pleasure of my newly acquired freedom. My first act of liberty
was a trip to the bathroom and a long shower. The chain on my leg made
bathing awkward but I managed. On the way out I stopped at the mirror
to inspect my face and was truly shocked by what I saw. I looked like
I had just gone fifteen rounds with Joe Lewis and lost. My face was
extremely red and swollen but Peggy assured me that I would heal in a
few days and then my face would be as smooth as a baby's behind. I had
my doubts but time did prove her to be correct. I had enjoyed my
mustache for over five years and I looked funny without it. However, I
had to admit that it might be nice not to have to shave every morning.
     When I returned to the room, Peggy had changed my bed and laid out
what looked like some of her clothes across the end of the bed.
     "Are you moving back into this room to keep me company?" I asked
nodding to the female clothes.
     "No", she answered. "These are for you. I want you dressed in
skirts and blouses or a dress during the day and at night you are to
sleep in one of these pretty gowns." She opened my closet door so that
I could see inside. "As you can see, your male clothes have been
removed. I'm sorry that your female wardrobe is not yet complete but it
will grow. Your drawers are full of bras, panties, hose and slips. You
will use them! I'm a little disappointed that you will not be able to
use the pretty panties I got you because you can't get them on over the
chain. I'll figure a way later."
     I couldn't believer what I was hearing. This had gone too far and
I told her so. "There is no way you can force me to wear those clothes.
And, Furthermore, you are not giving me any more of those hormone shots.
This has gone far enough and I am not going to allow it to go any
further. Enough is enough! You have had your fun and you have punished
me for my indiscretion, but now it is over. I have a successful law
practice and it is time for me to get back to work. Your little games
have already probably cost me dozens of new clients and I'm so far
behind that it will take months to catch up."
     Peggy was standing near the door -- Just out of the range that my
chain would allow me to move. "You don't have a law practice anymore",
she said.
     "What are you talking about?"
     She reached into her purse and handed me a folded newspaper
clipping. "Read that."
     I almost fainted when I read the clipping. It was from the
obituaries section and it was my obituary. According to this, I was
dead. I sat on the bed to keep from falling. "Peggy, you are crazy! How
the hell did you manage this?"
     "It's not actually very difficult when you work in a hospital." She
handed me another sheet of paper. "Here is a copy of your death
certificate. You can keep it if you like. I've got several copies. As
you can see in the newspaper article, you were cremated and only close
family members were there, meaning just me. Your law partner insisted
on having a little memorial service for you but not too many people
showed up."
     "Peggy, you must be crazy. This is against the law." I still felt
like this was a dream and I would wake-up soon.
     "Your law partner paid me well for your share of the business. I'll
be able to buy you lots of pretty clothes and there is plenty of money
for any operation you might need. Do you want me to help you dress or
can you manage by yourself?"
     "I am not wearing those clothes!"
     "Suit yourself, dear. I'm going to prepare dinner and if you are
dressed, you will eat. If not, you are going to get fairly hungry."
     I missed dinner that night. I spent the entire next day trying to
figure a way to either remove the chain from my ankle or disconnect it
from the wall. I had no success. Feeling defeated, that evening for
dinner I wore a cotton dress in gingham black and white checks. It had
a white sailor collar with black piping. Dinner was delayed because I
had omitted the padded bra and slip. I soon corrected my mistake and
Peggy brought me a very tasty meal. She even joined me and we ate
together. The dress did fit nicely and, although I didn't tell Peggy,
it was quite comfortable.
     I can't say exactly when it was that I surrendered to Peggy's
efforts to feminize me. I put up what I thought was a good fight, but
one day it just didn't seem to matter any more. Maybe it was the day I
first noticed the small pert breast that were forming on my chest and
realized that other very feminine changes were taking place around my
hips and thighs. Most likely, however, it was the night I was visited
by Big Al. This is the part of my story that I had planned to leave out
but I have decided to tell it so that you can understand just how my
spirit was finally broken.
     One Saturday afternoon, Peggy came into my room to bring me some
new bras that she had just purchased. All of my old bras were padded and
she thought that I was ready for non-padded "B" cup. To my surprise, I
filled it fairly well. I know that I shouldn't admit this but I felt a
certain amount of pride when I saw how good the new bra looked, knowing
that the curves were all mine. My hair had become very long by this time
and all Peggy had ever done to it was brush it and put a clip on one
side to pull it back out of my face.
     "The new bra looks nice," Peggy said. "But we need to do something
with that hair. You ready for your first perm?"
     I don't know why I answered the way I did. Possibly I just wanted
to please her or maybe it was the feeling I got when I saw myself in the
new bra. I think it shocked her as much as it did me when I said, "OK."
     By four o'clock the last of the rollers were out. When Peggy
brushed my hair into a very feminine style and I looked at myself in the
mirror, I could see almost no trace of my old masculine self. I would
have never admitted it to her, but I liked it. The way it seemed to
bounce when I moved my head sent little chills through my body.
     "You look lovely," Peggy said. "Just one little finishing touch and
it will be perfect."
     She picked up something that I thought was some kind of curling
iron and moved it to the side of my head. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain
in my ear. When I looked toward the mirror I saw that she had pierced
my right ear. Maybe it was the pain that brought me back to my senses
but I suddenly felt like a fool for allowing her to destroy my manhood.
It was like I had been in a daze, infatuated by the image of the new
hair-do and suddenly the pain and realization of what was happening
brought me back to reality. Without thinking, I hit her with my open
hand across her face. She fell backward with a startled look on her
face.
     "Damn you!" She had tears in her eyes. "You were making such good
progress and now that macho garbage just had to surface. Look at
yourself in the mirror and be honest with yourself -- The man is gone.
The sooner you let go of the male inside, the easier it is going to be
for you. Tonight we get rid of Mr. Macho for good." She turned and
walked out, slamming the door behind.
     I had no notion of what she had in mind for me next and I did feel
a little guilty for hitting her but I refused to appologize. I really
didn't expect her to bring my dinner because usually when I was bad I
didn't eat. Television was dull so around ten o'clock I decided to get
ready for bed. I put on my raspberry nylon gown with the v-neckline
trimmed in lace. I don't know why I chose that one because it was one
of my most feminine gowns. For some reason, I just wanted to see how it
would look with the new haid-do.
      I was in bed when the door opened. Peggy came in with a huge man
that I had never seen before. It was embarrassing to have a man see me
in the sexy gown and feminine hair so I pulled the covers up as high as
I could.
     "Darling, this is Al," Peggy said. "He is the boy friend of one of
my transsexual girls I'm working with and he wants to talk with you."
     'Oh no,' I thought. 'She has brought this goon here to beat me up
for hitting her.'
     "She is going to be a real looker, Doc," Al said. "If we can
eliminate the attitude problem, you're going to have a winner here."
     "I'll leave you two alone to get better acquainted Peggy said. She
looked at me, smiled and said, "Now you be sweet dear."
     I was scared! When Peggy left, Al walked over to my bed. I pulled
the covers even higher, to just under my eyes. I was shaking all over.
     "What's your name, sweetheart?"
     Doing a poor job of hiding the fear in my voice, I said, "Mark."
     Al gently pulled the covers back ignoring my feeble efforts to hold
on to them. I was completely exposed and at that moment I wished so much
that I had not chosen such a feminine gown.
     "You look nice sweetheart but that name Mark just doesn't fit. We
need to call you something else like ...... maybe ... Linda. That's it.
We will call you Linda." He began to gently rub my arm. "It is a shame
to keep a pretty little thing like you chained. You be nice to me and
I will see what I can do to get the Doc to take this chain off."
     A ray of hope? Would he really help me? What did he mean by being
nice? I didn't want to turn down a chance for outside help but I was
more afraid right then than I had ever been before in my life.
     I didn't have to wait long to find out what he meant by 'being
nice'. He leaned over and kissed me right in the mouth. I was afraid to
struggle too much for fear that he would hurt me and, at the same time,
if I didn't, he might think I liked what he was doing. I just went limp.
He began to fondle my small breast as his tongue parted my lips and was
thrust deeply into my mouth. The kiss seemed to last forever. I could
feel my nipples becoming erect as he gently massaged them between his
fingers. His lips moved from mine to my breast and he began to suck. I
couldn't believe how good it felt and I experienced feelings of gult for
liking it. I don't remember doing it but when he pulled away, my hand
was on the back of his head.
     He stood up and quickly removed his clothes. God, was he big. He
looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger and I became so afraid of what would
happen next that I was trembling all over. I felt so helpless. I pleaded
with him to leave me alone. I didn't threaten like a man would, I begged
like a girl. Al just patted me on the shoulder and told me to relax and
he would be gentle. He sat me on the edge of the bed and sat down beside
me. As he began to kiss me again he took my hand and placed it on his
penis. With his hand on mine he forced me to move back and forth on his
large male shaft. His tongue was deep in my mouth and his other arm was
around my shoulders holding me like a vice.
     He then stood in front of me while I still sat on the bed. Very
gently, he began to run his fingers through my hair. That pulsating male
shaft of his was only inches from my face. He slowly pulled my face
forward until the dampness of his penis was touching my lips. I knew
what he wanted but I refused to open my mouth. With his left hand firmly
behind my head he used his right hand to pinch my nose. I couldn't
breath. When I opened my mouth to get a breath he plunged his maleness
deep into my throat. With his hands in my hair, he moved my head back
and forth. He would say, "suck" and pull my hair. Each time he would
pull it a little harder until finally I was sucking. I thought it would
never end but I knew what would happen when it did and I wasn't looking
forward to that either. I could feel the heat of his shaft in my mouth
and taste the juices of his manhood. I braced myself for the flood that
I knew was to come.
     It never came. He pulled out, kissed me lightly and laid me on my
back. He pushed my gown up around my waist and stood over me looking at
my nakedness. "Looks like the estrogen is working. You need to get the
Doc to remove that little thing. It will only get in your way." As he
slid a pillow under my fanny, he said, "You need to relax, Linda. This
might hurt at first but if you are tense it will hurt more." He picked
up his pants from the floor and removed a tube of lubricating jelly.
After spreading a liberal amount on his penis he rubbed it on my anus.
Using his finger he even applied generous amounts up inside me. His
finger slid in and out easily without pain.
     I begged him not to do this but he only smiled and said, "You'll
thank me someday, honey."
     He mounted me and placed the head of his penis against the opening
of my anus. He applied gentle pressure and I tried to relax but I
couldn't. He pushed harder and I felt my body being penetrated. The pain
was overwhelming. He silenced my cries with kisses. I felt as though my
flesh was being ripped apart. He continued a slow rhythmically in and
out motion. As the pain decreased slightly, he increased his speed which
seemed to keep the pain level constant. Even though I knew that this was
the most horrible thing that had ever happened to me, I could feel my
nipples growing hard and erect. Al's breathing became fast and heavy.
The speed and force of his thrusts increased and I found myself pushing
my pelvic up to meet his attacks. I felt the explosion deep inside my
body. I could feel his warm male juices as they surged from his body
into mine. Al relaxed and I felt the full weight of his body. He kissed
me one more time very passionately and this time I found that my tongue
was deep inside his mouth.
     He got up and began to silently dress. I lay on the bed feeling
embarrassed and confused. Al walked to the door and stopped. He turned
and said, "Linda, do yourself a favor. Forget all of that masculine
shit. It is too big a waste. You are all woman and believe me, you will
never be happy in the male role." With that he was gone and I never saw
Big Al again.
     I didn't see Peggy again that night. Sleep was out of the question
because my thoughts were in a turmoil. Big Al had hurt me, embarrassed
me and insulted my masculinity, yet, I had responded to him to a degree.
There were parts of our encounter that had excited me. Maybe Peggy was
right or maybe the estrogen had just changed me so much. I didn't have
the answer and sometime during the early morning I fell asleep.
     I awoke the next morning with Peggy shaking my shoulder. "How do
you feel," she asked.
     "Sore," I answered.
     "You look radiant She leaned over and kissed me. That was the first
time she had shown any affection since all of this began. She served me
a delicious breakfast and I didn't realize how hungry I was. We talked
in a surprisingly  civil manner. She asked me about my evening with Al
and to my own amazement I told her the entire story. I even told her
about my feelings, doubts and how I had responded to Al's touch. She
didn't laugh at me or say I told you so. She listened with an
understanding ear. She even checked my rectum to make sure that there
were no tears that needed treatment.
     From that day on, Peggy and I got along beautifully. I offered no
resistance to her attempts to feminize me. When she told me to do
something, I did it. If she thought I would look better with pierced
ears, they were pierced. When she thought that I would look good as a
blond, I became a blond. Somewhere along the way I began to enjoy my new
gender and I found myself looking forward to her next effort to make me
a complete female. My chain was removed and having the run of the house
helped me enjoy my feminity even more. I kept the house clean and had
dinner ready for her when she came home from the hospital. My breast had
developed and I was now wearing a "C" cup. The shape of my hips, butt
and thighs had changed into pleasent feminine curves. Even in jeans and
a sweatshirt, my femininity was not hidden. My hair was now down to my
shoulders, I was still blond and I was learning to care for and style
it.
     Peggy had been attempting to give me speech therapy. I was making
some progress but it was slow. I could raise my pitch and imitate a
feminine voice pattern fairly well at times but it was difficult to
maintain over a long conversations. There were times when I became very
discouraged with my efforts. Peggy said that the only thing that was
preventing me from leaving the house and having more normal social life
was my voice. Being free from my chain was wonderful and the house and
grounds were large but after a while it all just seemed like a bigger
prison.
     One evening, Peggy came home excited. "I have the solution to your
voice problems," She said. "I have spent the day with Dr. Toby Mayer
from California. He is in town for this week doing some work with
several of my transsexual girls and he can perform magic with the
voice."
     "Is he a speech therapist?" I asked.
     "No, he is a surgeon. There is a new procedure that was developed
by physicians in Japan and as far as I know, Dr. Mayer is the only
person in the US that is doing it. The operation is simple and the
results have been sensational."
     Words like surgeon and operation were frightening. I was not at all
sure I wanted to pursue this any further and I told Peggy so.
     Peggy just ignored my protest and continued, "This is not like the
old risky operation that required cutting the vocal cords. In this
process, cartilage that exist behind the cords is made into elongated
tissue and tied to the upper and lower extremities of the vocal cords.
This raises the pitch. The operation is done under local anesthesia. The
patient selects her pitch by counting aloud while the surgeon tightens
or loosens the cartilage until the desired pitch has been obtained. It
is virtually risk free and I have scheduled you for tomorrow morning at
eight o'clock."
     That was less than twelve hours away. I didn't know what to do. I
wasn't at all sure that I wanted to undergo an operation but I was tired
of trying to learn a new speech pattern.  Having my ears pierced was one
thing but having an operation in a hospital was rather frightening. I
was confused and I think Peggy planned it that way. She didn't want me
to have a lot of time to think about what was happening. So, early the
next morning, dressed in a simple shirtwaist dress with my hair pulled
back in a pony tail, Peggy discretely checked me into the hospital as
one of her patients. It was the first time I had been off our property
as a female and that was nearly as terrifying as the operation itself.
     By ten o'clock it was all over. Peggy had assisted Dr. Mayer with
the operation because she wanted to learn the procedure. In fact, it was
Peggy who decided when the pitch was precise and not me. I was told not
to try and talk for the next two weeks while everything healed. This
also worked to Peggy's advantage. She knew that I could offer no verbal
protest when she suggested that since I was already in the hospital, she
would do a little cosmetic reconstruction on my face. Nothing drastic
-- Maybe make my nose a little more petite and inject a little something
into my lips to make them more attractive.
     The next day I was put to sleep and rolled back into the operating
room. I've known Peggy much longer than you have but I'll bet that you
have already guessed that Peggy is one lady that gets her way and is
head strong about finishing what she starts. I guess I probably knew in
the back of my own mind that she couldn't be trusted to make only minor
changes to my face. At this point, maybe I wanted the changes. Maybe,
subconsciously, I realized that there was no turning back because of all
of the extensive changes that had already taken place in my mind and
body. Most likely I had acquired a desire for the same end result that
Peggy favored. I'm really not sure just what was going through my
thoughts that day.
     When I awoke that afternoon in the recovery room, I knew at once
that more than just my nose and lips had been altered. The pain was
intense and even though my nose was bandaged the major pain was not
located in my face. I slid my trembling hand to between my legs and even
though I felt bandages, I could tell that there were no male organs
beneath those bandages. My balls and penis were gone. I had finally paid
the ultimate price for my indiscretion. I was a total woman now and
there would be no turning back. Some who read this will understand what
I'm going to say next but others will not. I was pleased! In fact, I
felt intoxicated with excitement as I anticipated the new life that lay
before me.
     I have always felt that the hardest parts of being a man were the
stupid macho games we had to play. We pretend that we do not feel pain,
that we can handle all situations, that tenderness is sissy, that might
makes right and most of all, we must pretend that the fact that we are
never taught to love is unimportant. I do not have to pretend any more.
     Peggy and I still live together, although that may not always be
the case since I am now dating several men and one is getting rather
serious. Peggy has introduced me to all of our old friends as her late
husband's younger sister. She explains that I moved in with her after
Mark's death and we get along so well that I may just stay. I have a job
now. Believe it or not, in my old law practice as a legal aide. My
ex-partner thinks that I am Mark's sister and he has been trying get me
into his bed since the first week I worked for him. Last night he was
successful. Who knows -- maybe I will marry him someday. Wouldn't that
be ironical -- The law practice would be half mine again.
     
     The End  (for now)