Subject: Seinfeld sex story (mf, ff, semi-nc, parody)
Reply-To: noreply@all.com
Date: Thu Jan 30 00:35:07 1997
WARNING
The following story contains graphic descriptions of sexual acts between
consenting and semi-non-consenting adults. If these sorts of
descriptions offends you, why are you reading this newsgroup? Go away!!!
Post replies to this newsgroup
********************************
The Second Contest
A Smutty Seinfeld Story
Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer sat at their usual booths
at Monk's, their favorite diner.
"Gee, George, it's a shame about Susan," Jerry offered,
trying to sound sincere.
"Yeah, well ... yeah." George was still trying to cover up his
glee at escaping the marriage vows by his fiancee's untimely death.
"Still," Kramer said, sipping his soda loudly, "it's kind of a
good thing."
Elaine looked at him, shocked. "How can you say that? A
woman has died."
Kramer put his glass down with a bang. "I think it's kinda
obvious that Georgie-boy here needs to get a little more pussy
before he settles down."
"What?" Elaine was stunned.
Jerry just nodded. "I agree."
"Hey!" George said, outraged, "I'll have you know I've had
plenty of pussy in my life."
"I can't believe you're all sitting around here talking about
this in front of me," Elaine said, shocked.
"Oh, get over it," Jerry said. "You're worse than the rest of
us when it comes to talking about fucking."
Elaine glared at her former boyfriend, then calmed down. "I
guess you're right about that."
"Who cares about that?" George said, still angry. "Let's get
back to me. I've fucked a lot of women in my life! Dozens! A
hundred at least!"
"A hundred?" Jerry scoffed.
"OK, maybe a couple dozen," George said, a little humbled.
"Name 'em," Kramer shot back.
"Name 'em?" George said. "I can't name 'em. I can't
remember their names."
"OK, then, tell what you do remember about them," Jerry
said.
George thought. "Well, there was Susan, of course. Then
that one woman with the male roommate. Then the woman whose
grandmother's funeral I went to. And that antique store woman.
And the one who I wanted to think we were gay. And that woman I
dated, then Jerry dated. And that woman who got the nose job.
Boy, I had to screw her with my eyes closed."
"OK, that's seven," Jerry said. "Who else?"
George thought, then admitted. "That's it."
"Seven?" Elaine said, snickering. "That's it?"
"Hey," George said, getting angry, "it's not how many boats
are on your ocean, it's how big the waves are."
"What?" Elaine said.
"I think you mean, 'It's not the size of the boat, it's the
motion of the ocean."
"That makes no sense," George said. "It's not how many
boats .."
Elaine cut him off. "What are you trying to say?"
"I'm saying I'm a great fuck," George said, proudly.
"Ha!" Kramer said. "I'm the best fuck at this table."
"Gentlemen," Jerry said, scoffing. "I beg to differ. I'm the
best fuck here."
"Ha!" Elaine snorted. "You couldn't even make me cum in
all the times we fucked."
"That's because it was before I got good," Jerry countered.
"I've had plenty of women since we screwed, and they taught me a
thing or two about fucking."
"Well, there's only one way to settle this, you know," Elaine
said, sitting back, folding her arms.
"What's that?" Kramer asked.
"Another contest," she said.
"You mean, like when we saw who could go without
beating off the longest?" Jerry asked.
"Exactly," Elaine answered. "Except this time, I'm going to
have to be the judge, so I should get some of the money up front."
Jerry looked at Elaine in disbelief. "Are you saying ...?"
"Yup," she said, smiling. "I'm going to have to fuck all of
you."
George couldn't believe his ears. He's wanted to bang Elaine
ever since he met her, but he'd always been a little afraid of her.
"Are you serious?"
"Sure," she answered. "You guys all put up $500 each. I get
half, and the winner gets the other half. Deal?"
Jerry shrugged. "I'm game."
George nodded. "Count me in!"
"Giddyup!" Kramer shouted.
They shook hands on the deal.
"OK, how do we decide who goes first?" Jerry asked.
"Pick a number between one and 10," Elaine said.
"Two! No, Six!" George blurted out.
"Which one you want?" Jerry asked, angry.
"Seven!" That's it! I want seven!"
"I want two," Jerry said.
"Ten," Kramer said.
"It's two," Elaine said. "Jerry's first."
George pounded his head on the table. "That was my first
number!"
"OK, guess again."
"Two!" George blurted out.
"Ten," Kramer said.
"It's nine," Elaine said. "Kramer's second. George is last."
"You dope!" Jerry said, hitting George on the back of the
head. "She just picked two! Why did you think she'd pick it again!"
"Hey! I coulda happened!"
That night, Jerry sat on the couch in his apartment, reading
Penthouse. His cock was pressing against his pants, making his
Dockers a tent. He thought about whacking off, but he didn't want
to get the couch dirty. He was about to go into the bathroom to
masturbate when the door buzzer went off. He got up and pressed
the button. "Yeah?"
"It's Elaine"
"'Mon up." He buzzed her in, just like he did a thousand
times before. He stashed the magazine behind a sofa cushion and
sat down on the sofa, trying to cover his hard-on with a pillow. If
he could just sit still for a little while, the swelling would go down
and Elaine would never notice the difference.
Elaine walked in, wearing a trenchcoat. She shut the door
behind her. "You ready?" she said, in the same sultry voice she had
used on the tape recorder during one of Jerry's acts, the tape that
had turned Jerry, George and Kramer on.
"Ready for what?"
She shed the coat, letting in drop on the floor. She stood
there in a white teddy. The lace did little to hold back her shapely
boobs. Her darkened nipples pressed against the faint material.
Jerry was stunned. He had forgotten all about the contest.
He had seen Elaine naked before, of course, but he forgot how
fuckable she was.
His eyes traveled from her boobs down her flat stomach to
the white panties. He saw the junction of her thighs. She was as
hairy as he remembered, some of her pubic hairs spilling out from
the sides of the panties.
He could feel his dick stiffen even further. He shifted in his
seat, the rubbing of the pillow warning him that he was on the verge
of cumming, even though she hadn't touched him yet.
She strutted over to the sofa, sitting down next to him.
"Uh," Jerry said, feeling his dick, already close to exploding,
pressing against the pillow, "can we do this some other time."
She shook her head. "It's time. You go first. It's time to put
up or shut up."
She slid over, pressing her lips against his. He felt her
tongue slip between his lips as he tried desperately to keep from
cumming. She slid her hand under the pillow, feeling his hardened
cock through his pants.
Wow, she thought as she felt his hard cock. I'm really
turning him on.
He absent-mindedly rubbed up against her hand, trying
desperately not to cum. But she rubbed him through his trousers
and he came.
Elaine felt the dampness right away, and she pulled away,
shocked. "Did you cum?"
Jerry could only nod weakly.
She screwed up her face in a pout. "This is just like when
we were together. You always got your rocks off then left me lying
there with nothing to do but play with my pussy. You're such a
baby."
"I couldn't help it," Jerry whined. "I was reading a
Penthouse before you came in! I forgot you were coming over!"
She got up off the couch. "You forgot I was coming over to
fuck you? That's it! You're out of the contest!"
"No! You gotta give me another chance!"
She picked her coat up off the floor and put it on. "Forget
it, Seinfeld!" She said, storming out the door, slamming it behind her.
Jerry jumped up to ran after her, then looked down at the
mess in his pants. He ran to the bathroom to clean up before he got
any stains on his floor.
She knocked on Kramer's door, across the hall. Cosmo
Kramer answered, wearing a smoking jacket and puffing on a big
cigar.
"Good evening, Elaine," he said, just as suave as he could.
"I've been expecting you."
"Hiya, Kramer," she said. She wasn't particularly looking
forward to sleeping with Kramer because she had never found him
attractive. But she wanted the money.
"Please make yourself comfortable" Kramer said, smoothly.
"Can I get you a drink?"
"What do you have?" She sat down on the couch.
"I've got wine, champagne, Snapple, scotch ..."
"Give me some scotch," Elaine ordered.
"Okie-doke." He strolled over to his bar, then tossed a
couple of ice cubes in a glass and poured some scotch. He handed
her the glass, then tried to sit next to her on the couch, but missed
and ended up sitting on the floor.
"So, how do you want to do this?" she asked.
"However you want," he answered. "That's part of what
makes me a great lover. I do whatever the lady says."
"Really?"
"Oh, yeah," he answered.
"So," Elaine said, sitting back, "if I were to tell you to take
all your clothes off right now ..."
Kramer stumbled to his feet. He took off his robe, tossing it
over to the side, knocking over a lamp in the process. He fumbled
with the buttons of his pajama shirt, failing to undo them. Finally he
just ripped it off, revealing a hairy sunken chest. Then he yanked his
pants down, tripping over them as he struggled to get them off his
feet. Finally, he stood in front of Elaine.
She gasped as she took a look at his cock. She had always
known he must be big because he was a big man, but she never dreamed
that he was this big. His dick was nowhere near erect, but it was
already over 10 inches long! He was uncircumcised, so the head just
barely peeked out of the foreskin. It looked like a horse's dick to her.
This was the biggest cock she had ever seen!
"Oh my god," she moaned.
He posed for her, hands on his hips. "That's what everybody
says, baby. What do you want me to do now?"
She stood up and took off her coat. He nearly fell over
when he got a look at her
compact but voluptuous body. She hooked her fingers in her panty
strings, then slowly slid them over her waist. She let them drop to
the floor.
"On your knees," she said.
Kramer dropped, then walked over to where she stood, like
a dog.
"Lick my pussy," she ordered.
"Aye-aye," he answered. He slid his hands up her smooth
thighs, grabbing an asscheek in each hand. Then he buried his face
in her crotch.
"Ooooh," she moaned from the shock of sensation.
Kramer licked Elaine's pussy like a pro. He ran his tongue
along the inner lips, taking time to nibble on her clit. She had to
admit, even though Kramer looked like a doofus, he could eat
pussy.
"Yes, Kramer, eat my cunt. Lick me. Oooooh, it feels
sooooo gooood..." she moaned.
He took her to the brink of cumming, then backed off. She
looked up in surprise.
"What are you doing?"
He smiled as he positioned his massive cock at her cunt.
"It's showtime," he groaned.
He pushed the head past her lips. She had never felt so filled
before, and she knew he wasn't even all the way in yet.
"Slow, Kramer. Slow."
"Oooh, yeah." Kramer began fucking her in slow motions,
digging deeper and deeper with his dick, trying to bury as much of
his cock in her as he could. He was only three quarters in and felt
himself touching bottom.
Elaine grabbed his asscheeks, her fingernails digging in as
she pulled him in. "Fuck me, ooh, fuck me baby"
Kramer's head moved in spastic motions as he continued
fucking Elaine.
She was just getting into the groove of the fucking when
she felt Kramer explode in her cunt.
"Oooooh, yeah!" he bellowed. "Yes! Yes!"
She felt only a couple of blasts of cum in her before he
collapsed on her. His dick
softened and slipped out of her cunt quickly, leaving her unsatisfied.
"So," Kramer said, with a satisfied look on his face. "What
do you think of Kramer now?"
"Is that it?" Elaine said.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I haven't cum yet. What are you going to do about
that?"
"Do? What do you expect me to do? I just cum in there.
You don't expect me to eat you now, do you? And I'm not going to
finger-fuck you. That's disgusting."
She couldn't believe her ears. "You selfish bastard!"
"Hey," he said with a smug expression. "I'm Kramer. You're
bitching now, but tomorrow you'll be begging for more."
"Wrong, Dorkface. Tomorrow morning I'll be handing $750
to George. He can't possibly be a worse fuck than you are."
She gathered her things together and left, pissed off.
Elaine went to George's apartment. She rang the bell several
times, but nobody answered. He must be at work, she thought.
Fortunately, she had his spare key, just like he had hers in case of
an emergency. They were keymates. She let herself in, locking the
door behind her.
She went into the bedroom and doffed her trenchcoat. She
slid into the bed. I'll surprise the little bastard.
She stared at the ceiling, smiling. No matter how bad
George was, she was going to give him the prize money. That'd
show Jerry the premature ejaculator and Kramer the insensitive
prick.
Suddenly, she heard the key turn in the lock on the front
door.
She decided to strike a pose to turn George on. She got on
her knees and tossed her hair back, doing her best impression of
Cindy Crawford.
Into the bedroom door walked Susan, George's supposedly
dead fiancee'.
"Elaine?" she exclaimed.
"Susan?"
Susan was so happy to see someone she knew she didn't
question why Elaine was in George's bed in a teddy. She just rushed
forward and hugged her, nearly knocking the wind out of Elaine.
"My God, you wouldn't believe what happened to me."
Elaine was flabbergasted. "We ... we ... we all thought you
were dead! We went to your funeral!"
"That wasn't me. That was somebody else! The hospital
screwed up! And since my parents insisted on a closed casket,
nobody knew it was somebody else! I was in a coma. I just woke
up three days ago! I just gave my father a heart attack!. Where's
George?"
"He's ... uh ... he's ... uh ..."
Suddenly, Susan noticed Elaine's outfit. "And what the fuck
are you doing in his bed, half naked?"
"I can explain..." Elaine started weakly.
"You'll do more than explain, you bitch," she barked. "What
is this? I'm dead, and you move in on my fiance? You're going to
pay for this, you stuck-up little bitch!"
She grabbed the lace strings that held the top of Elaine's
nightie on, revealing her small but firm breasts. She reached out and
twisted the brunette's right nipple, painfully. "You're going to do
exactly what I say."
"What?"
"Quiet!" Susan suddenly slapped Elaine's mouth. "I haven't
had a decent fuck since George and I got engaged. I knew I was
making a mistake giving up women, but it wasn't until right now
that I realized what I wanted more than anything. A female slave. A
fuck-slave."
"You can't ..."
"I said quiet, you slut!" Susan slapped Elaine's mouth again,
harder. "You do not speak until I say so, understand?"
Elaine nodded, without a word.
"You're catching on, bitch." Susan said, a wicked smile on
her face. "Now, you do whatever I say, or you'll catch hell like
you've never caught it before." The blonde took off her blouse and
skirt, revealing a one-piece white silk slip. She sat on the edge of
the bed. "You will refer to me as Master. Do you understand?"
Elaine was on the edge of tears in fear. The almost-Amazon
blonde had always intimidated her a little, but now she was
petrified. She knew Susan could whip her in a fight, and badly.
"Yes, Master," she whimpered.
"Take the nightie off the rest of the way."
Elaine slipped off the rest of her lingerie. Her breasts
bounced slightly as she did that, the brown nipples hardening.
Susan licked her lips as she saw Elaine's pussy come into
view. She had always been a little attracted to the smaller woman,
but never did anything about it because she was with George. Now
that she could see Elaine was having some sort of sick affair with
George, it was payback time.
"Start playing with your tits," Susan ordered.
Elaine reached up and started fondling her breasts.
"Stroke them," Susan said, in a softer voice. "Tell me how
much you love it."
Elaine felt her breasts becoming more sensitive with each
stroke, "I love playing with my tits, Master. They feel soooo
goooood."
"Pull on the nipples," Susan cooed.
Elaine did as she was told, pulling the brown nubs, rolling
them between her fingers.
Susan couldn't resist feeling her own breasts through her
silken slip. "Tell me how it feels."
"My tits feel warm and goood," Elaine moaned. "My nipples
are soooo hard."
"You love to play with your tits, don't you, slave?"
"Yeeesssss, Master," Elaine said, totally getting into her
slave role.
"And you love it when someone licks them for you, don't
you?"
"Yeessss," Elaine moaned.
Susan leaned forward, pursing her lips into a small "O" as
she neared Elaine's left breast. Elaine gasped as she felt the lips
clamp onto the nipple. She felt Susan's tongue slide over her nipple,
sending a charge of pleasure through her body. The blonde then
moved her mouth to the other breast, trailing saliva across Elaine's
chest as she went.
Susan loved the feel of the nipples in her mouth. She rubbed
them with her tongue, making smacking noises as she nibbled on
them.
"Suck me, Master," Elaine said, stringing her fingers
through Susan's hair, trying to feed as much of her breasts into the
warm mouth as she could.
Susan pulled back then. "Get up, slave."
Elaine was slow to follow the order, so Susan slapped her
firm ass as she reluctantly got up from the bed.
Elaine winced from the pain as she stood, naked before her
master. Susan took in the delightful view -- Elaine's breast, still
moist from her mouth. Elaine's wide hips, which looked appetizing
on such a small woman. Her dark pussy hair, with contrasted with
the porcelain skin.
Susan stood and shed her slip.
"Come to me, slave," Susan growled,
Elaine approached slowly, uncertain of what was to happen.
"Kiss me, Elaine."
Elaine wrapped her arms around the taller woman's neck.
her breasts fitting neatly under Susan's own as they pressed into her
master's body.
Susan wrapped her arms around the smaller woman, feeling
the hard nipples against her skin.
Susan then raised one hand to Elaine's head and drew it to
her. They kissed, their lips parting as they met. Susan, firmly in
control, slid her tongue into her slave's mouth.
Elaine slid her hands all over her master's body, moaning
into Susan's mouth.
Susan pulled back a bit, breaking the kiss. Even though she
was the master, she could no longer hold back from doing the
things she wanted to do to Elaine.
Susan sat down in a chair across from the bed. She felt her
moistness of her own pussy as she sat. She hadn't been this excited
in ages.
Elaine watched as her master put her hand on her blonde
pussy and begin massaging the outer lips. Susan slid forward on the
seat, spreading her legs wide. She ran a hand down her stomach to
the thick patch of blonde hair, brushing her fingers across her outer
lips. She felt close to cumming, but she wanted to cum in Elaine's
mouth.
"Get your ass over here, slave," she moaned through gritted
teeth.
Elaine dropped to her knees and crawled to Susan.
"Good slave. Now look at my pussy."
Elaine did as she was told. She licked her lips in
anticipation.
Susan spread her cunt lips with her hand. "You want to lick
me, don't you?"
"Yes, Master."
Susan slid her index finger between the moist flaps of skin
into herself. Elaine saw the finger get damper and damper as her new
master
plunged the finger into herself.
Susan moved her finger all around, moving with a fucking
rhythm, her pussy making juicy sounds as she stuck it in. Elaine
couldn't look away. Susan reached up with her other hand and
began kneading her right tit. She felt ever closer to cumming, not
wanting to stop. But she forced herself to. "OK, slave," she moaned
as she dropped her hands to her sides. Make me cum. Lick your
master's pussy!"
Elaine dove in, her hair spreading across Susan's thighs as
she stuck her tongue into Susan's juicy depths. Elaine licked the
pussy juice like a little girl eating a popsicle. She couldn't get
enough.
Susan moaned as the slave's rough tongue slid over her
cunt. She threaded her hands in Elaine's dark hair, pushing the
smaller woman deeper into her. "Fuck me! Lick my cunt!"
Elaine grabbed Susan's ass, trying to get as much of her into
her mouth as she could. She felt the blonde pussy hair tickle her
nose as she continued to devour her master's twat.
Susan was close to cumming, and she knew nothing could
stop it now. Elaine was now using her tongue as a cock, driving
Susan over the edge. The master stiffened as the first waves of the
orgasm hit. Her legs flailed as she felt wave after wave of pleasure
shock her body.
"YESSSS!!!! "FUCK!!!!" Susan screamed as blast after
blast of pussy juice squirted into Elaine's open mouth.
Susan felt like she was dying again as all her energy left her
body as the orgasm faded. She didn't have the energy to move as
Elaine kept licking her pussy, trying to savor every last drop of her
juices.
"Have you ever fucked a woman before, slave?"
"Never, Master."
"Not bad for a beginner." Susan didn't want to let Elaine
know that was the best pussy licking she had ever had. "As a
reward, I'm going to let you cum now."
"Thank you, Master." Elaine jumped up eagerly.
Susan smiled. She wondered Elaine would be so eager if she
knew what she had planned.
"Get on the bed, slave. I'll be right back."
Elaine jumped on the bed as Susan went into the bathroom.
She emerged seconds later with a jar. Elaine was spread-eagle on
the bed, expecting to have her cunt licked.
"Get on all fours, slave."
"What?"
Susan slapped Elaine hard on the mouth. "I said, get on all
fours, you bitch!"
Elaine whimpered as she obeyed.
"Don't forget your place, slave. You are here to serve me.
You do what I say. And you will cum only when I want you to, and
how I want you to."
Susan picked her purse up and pulled out a eight-inch cock-
shaped vibrator. She took it everywhere she went. Especially since
she and George had been going out, since George only had a five-
inch dick.
Susan opened the jar of vasoline she had gotten from the
bathroom and slicked up the plastic dick. "You know what I'm
going to do, slave?"
"No?" Elaine whined, afraid to look up.
"I'm going to fuck you up the ass."
Elaine jumped up. "Now, wait. Fun is fun, but ..."
Susan dropped the dildo on the bed and slapped Elaine's ass
repeatedly in a frenzy, driving the brunette down onto the mattress.
"Stop! Ow! Stop! Please, don't!" Elaine cried, trying to
escape the stinging blows.
"Shut up! Sit still!" Susan was getting turned on as she saw
Elaine's rounded white asscheeks turn red with pain. She sat on the
smaller woman, pinning her to the bed.
Finally, Elaine quit struggling, but kept whimpering. "Don't
do this to me. Pleeeease?"
Susan got off Elaine, moving behind her. "You've never
been fucked up the ass, have you?"
Elaine shook her head.
Susan grabbed Elaine's hips and raised them until her ass
was in the air. "Don't be afraid, my love."
Elaine wiped the tears from her eyes at Susan's
unexpectedly gentle tone.
"I'll take your ass cherry gently, but I will fuck your ass,"
she said, firmly, like a teacher to a student. "From now on, you will
do what I say, and if I say I'm going to fuck your ass, I will fuck
your ass." She began to stroke Elaine's cunt with her hand, running
two fingers along the outer lips and dipping into her damp
honeypot.
Elaine began to breathe easier.
Susan then moved her face to Elaine's cunt as she began to
rub some of the pussy juice around Elaine's virgin asshole.
The smaller woman began to moan, feeling the double
sensations of Susan's talented tongue and the manipulations of her
ass.
Susan then took the lubed-up dildo and began to stroke the
entrance of Elaine's cunt with it. She slid the cock slowly into her
slave. Elaine let out short breaths as the rod sank into her. Susan
began easing her pussy-juice coated index finger into Elaine's ass at
the same time.
Susan began moving the finger around, slowly loosening up
Elaine's shitter.
Elaine was so focused on the cock in her pussy she didn't
feel the finger in her ass as it went deeper and deeper. "Fuck me,
Master," she cooed. "Fuuuck me with your cock. It's so haard."
When the finger in Elaine's ass slid out easily. Susan pulled
the plastic cock from her grasping cunt, and placed the head at the
tight shitter.
Elaine was too relaxed from the fucking to argue.
Susan began to push, and the dickhead popped inside, but
went no deeper.
"Ooooo...don't! Stop...it hurts!" Elaine begged.
"Shut up, slave!" Susan slapped Elaine's ass as she pushed harder
and harder, sliding the dick in with short strokes.
"But I've never done that ..." she whimpered.
"Relax your ass muscles," Susan commanded through
gritted teeth. "It'll go in easier if you just relax."
"Pleeeeease, stoooooop!" Elaine whined, trying desperately
to unclench her ass muscles. She felt like a steel rod was being
jammed up her butt.
Susan continued to push the dildo in, not paying attention to
Elaine's cries. She was getting off on the sight of the plastic dick
being swallowed by Elaine's unwilling ass. Finally, the dildo was in
as far as it would go.
Elaine kept screaming and crying. She felt like she was
about to be torn in two.
Feeling Elaine relax a little, Susan started thrusting,
savagely raping the defenseless ass with glee. She shoved two
fingers up Elaine's cunt, fucking her there in time with the dildo.
Elaine was still sobbing, and she felt the pain still, but it was
being replaced by a different feeling. She had never felt so full in her
life. She felt her orgasm starting to build.
"Fuck my ass! Deeper! Deeper! Ooooh, Master! Harder!
Haaaaaarder!!!!!"
Susan attacked Elaine's asshole with glee, shoving it in
faster and faster as Elaine humped back against the dildo. "I knew
you'd love it, you slut. Fuck that cock!"
Then Elaine came in a blast of cum, coating Susan's hand.
Elaine howled in pleasure as she was overcome with wave after
wave of pure pleasure. She collapsed on the bed, half unconscious,
with the dildo still sticking out her ass. Susan pulled it out, and lay
next to Elaine. The smaller woman cuddled up next to Susan,
sucking on her nipple like a baby.
"Good slave," Susan cooed.
The two were so satisfied they didn't hear the front door
open. George walked into the bedroom.
"Oh, my God! Susan!"
"George," Susan said, coldly.
"George?" Elaine said, exhausted,
"Elaine?" George shouted. Then he saw that the two of
them were naked, and had obviously fucked. "Oh my GOD!"
"George," Susan said, sitting up. "Get the fuck out of here."
"What? This is my apartment!"
"Not any more. I bought the building this morning and I'm
throwing you out. That's what you get for leaving me for dead in
that hospital, you jerk!"
"But ... but ..."
"Oh, and George," Elaine said, caressing Susan's breasts
from behind, "I've already found a winner in the best fuck contest,
so we don't need to fuck. I hope you'll understand."
"But ... but ..."
Elaine kissed Susan on the lips. "She's more man than you'll ever be."
Susan smiled. "Now get out of here before I call the police
and have you arrested for trespassing."
George's body slumped in defeat. He turned to go, then
turned around. "You know, since you two are naked anyway, what
say I take off my clothes and ..."
Susan picked up the phone next to the bed. "I'm calling the
police ..."
George turned and ran.
Susan turned to her lover. "You guys had a best fuck contest?"
Elaine nodded.
"Boy, you guys are weird."
********