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From: nobody@REPLAY.COM (Anonymous)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories
Subject: A ruined life (interrac., rape, preg)
Date: 14 Nov 1996 22:04:52 +0100
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A Ruined Life
By
"Muffy"
I have been reading postings on this newsgroup for quite some time. I can't
count the
number of times that I've read stories here where women are delighted to be
raped, and
ends up begging her attacker for more. I was raped, and my life was ruined
because of it. Here is my story.
I was seventeen years old when it happened, and up until that time I had
lived a charmed life. I wasn't exactly model material, but I'd call myself
pretty. I was five foot eight, with long light brown hair and blue eyes,
and a pretty decent figure: 36-24-28. I came from a good family, my father
is a lawyer, and my mother is a housewife. I 'm their only child, despite
being strict Catholics, they never managed to have any more children. I did
very well in school, in fact, I had skipped a grade, and the spring of my
rape I was just about to graduate from high school, and was getting ready to
go to college, where my boyfriend Biff attended.
Biff and I had met while he was still in high school. He was the star
quarterback for our football team, and I was the head of our cheerleading
squad. We had been dating for two years, and it was one of those typical
high-school things, with one exception - we never had sex. If anything,
Biff had been raised an even stricter Catholic than I had, and we were
saving ourselves for when we got married. I missed him terribly when he
went away to college, though he came home at least one weekend every month,
I still had a lot of time on my hands. So, I decided to volunteer at the
civic center, teaching illiterate adults how to read. It turned out to be
the worst decision of my life.
My home town was very upper middle class, so there weren't too many
adults who
couldn't read. In the end, the board of directors had to bus people in from
the city. We were all very impressed with ourselves at the center, as they
found 10 blacks who were willing to come into our lily-white town and allow
we junior-league types to teach them how to read. I was assigned to teach
Lamar. Lamar was a forty year old ex-convict. He'd been in for armed
robbery since he was twenty years old, and had just been released a few
months before, and was now living in a halfway house. He was only allowed
out to work under supervision at a local gym as a janitor, and to come to
the literacy class. Aside from the Nigerian boy who sang in the Up With
People concert my school had sponsored the year before, Lamar was the first
black man I had ever seen. He was a very big man, about 6'5", jet black,
and had to weight at least 220 lbs. He was very muscular, as he said,
"Ain't nuffin to do in de pen but wo'k ou' ". He scared me a little at
first, but soon my white liberalism took over, and I was comfortable being
around him. Lamar wasn't a very good student, though he did try hard. He
seemed anxious to learn how to read, because it was one of the conditions of
his getting out of the halfway-home. He would come up for review in just two
months, and if he couldn't read by then, he would have to wait another six
months before coming up for review again. So, the night before his first
review, I arranged for him to come to the center for a few hours of extra
counseling. I got the keys to the building, and Lamar was dropped of by his
parole officer at 5. He would come back to pick him up at 9. We began
work, and slowly the building emptied out till it was just us. We worked
straight through till 8, when I suggested a study break.
I got up to stretch, and walked over to the window. It was dark now,
and the parking lot was empty, except for my little convertible that Daddy
had given me for my birthday the month before. I stood there, fingering the
necklace that Biff had given me at the same time - a locket that had "Biff
and Muffy 4-eva" engraved on it, and daydreamed about the coming weekend,
when Biff would be home to take me to the prom.
Suddenly, Lamar grabbed my from behind, and dragged my away from the
window. He
clapped one huge black hand over my mouth, and using his huge black body,
forced me
down on the floor. Lamar ripped my dress off completely using his free
hand, and made
short work of my lace panties and bra. He lifted his hand from my mouth and
tied my
hands to the radiator using my torn dress. I lay there naked, helpless, as
this monstrous black buck gazed lustfully at my virgin body. He was wearing
dirty old jeans and a muscle shirt, and I could see the sweat glistening on
his huge arms and bald head. I trembled with fear as he slowly unzipped the
fly of his jeans. His enormous manhood sprang out of the fly, a black
snake, looking like it was a foot long, and enormously swollen. He was the
first naked man I had seen, but even I knew that he was huge. He grinned at
me, showing his gold teeth and said,
"Oh, bitch, you's gonna get a fuckin' now!" He leaned over and began
kissing me all over, his huge, black, and rubbery lips kissing the lips that
only Biff had kissed, sucking at my tits where NO man had ever kissed, and
pawing at my ... my ... womanly areas with his black paws.
"NO!!! You can't rape me!!! I'm a cheerleader and class valedictorian!!!
I understand the plight of the negro - you can't do this to me!!!" . He
only laughed at me and wiggled his grotesque prong in my horrified face.
"Oh yes, I's gonna fuck you good. You knows you wants it. You's been
askin' ole Lamar to make you his woman. Struttin' roun' me all de time,
wiggling yo' tits in my face. I ain't had a woman in twenny year' , and now
I's gonna fuck me a fine white bitch. Startin' wid' yo tits". With that,
he grabbed my breasts in his huge black hands and squashed them over his
massive erection, and began rubbing himself between my breasts. I could
feel the tip of his evil back member hit my chin. My mind raced, there was
nothing I could do! The civic center was completely empty, there was no
security guard, the whole place was set back about a mile from the road, I
could scream forever, and it wouldn't do me any good. I wasn't expected
back home till after nine, Lamar had an hour to have his evil way with me!
And it was obvious that he was going to do just that. He moaned and
groaned as he
breast-raped me. "Oh yeah ... ooooh, bitch, them tits of yo's sho' feel
good. Mmmm, them brothers in de pen wuz right, ain't nuffin like a white
bitch".
"No ... please Lamar, stop!!! Don't do this!!!", I pleaded with him. In
response, he came right in my face. I was such a virgin that I didn't even
know what that meant at the time. My parents hadn't let me take sex
education when it was offered at school, instead they had me take Father
O'Felcher's "Only when you're married" seminar at the parish church. As a
result, I thought he'd peed in my face! Some of it got in my mouth, and I
choked and gagged, trying to spit it out.
"Aww, cummon, bitch, you knows you likes it!", Lamar laughed, grabbing my
log hair and
using it to clean his prong. "And dat's jus' de beginnin' . I's gonna make
you Lamar's bitch, an' ruin you fo' sho' . Ain' never fucked me no white
bitch befo' , and I's gonna fuck me one now".
While he was talking, his black prick began to swell again. In less
than five minutes he was swollen huge and hard as a rock again. He saw me
staring at his black rod and laughed.
"Cain't wait to have it in you, huh bitch? I knows you wants me to fuck
you, I been
comin' heyah for months, watchin' you actin' like a dog-bitch in heat. You
needs a man to give you a good fuckin', and I's jus' de man to do de job.
Yeah, I's ready fo' you now, bitch. Well, heya's yo' dream come troo!".
He forced open my legs using his knee, and mounted me like a stallion.
Then, with one
enormous thrust he plunged all the way inside of me, tearing me apart, and
taking my
precious virginity.
"Mmmm-mmm! Oh, you sho' is nice an' tight! Diddint figger on gettin' me a
virgin white pussy!!", he groaned as he began to pump away inside of me.
"Yep, sho is a fine world when dey be givin' white bitches like you away fo'
free! Mmmm-mmm, work dat pussy,white ho'! ".
I could only lie there, awash in horror, my body being violated, my head
being smacked into the radiator with each of his powerful thrusts. I didn't
feel any pleasure, just agonizing pain and devestation as I lay there,
watching Lamar above me. He thrust into me over and over again, sweat
dripping off his huge black body and onto me, mixing with my tears of pain
and shame. His ugly black face was smeary with bliss, and his voice thick
as he moaned and gasped his pleasure as he raped me.
"Oh yeah ... Oh yeah ... bitch, you feels good! Mmm, damn good! I knews
you'd be a
good fuck! Mmm-mmm! It been a long time since I's fucked a woman, and
you's almost
wuth de wait. You's gonna give me a baby, ho'! Oh yeah ... ahhh ... oh
yeah ... oh bitch, here I comes!" And with that, he gave one last, final
thrust inside me, and spewed his hot black seed deep inside of me. This
time, I thought he'd peed inside me. Lamar collapsed on top of me, crushing
me with the weight of his huge, sweaty body.
I was overcome with shame. A black man had raped me and now I was no
longer pure!
Lamar lay on top of me for a few minutes, then got up. He looked at the
clock - it was nearly nine.
"Well, bitch I's gots to go now. De officer be pickin' me up. I sho
enjoyed de lessens. Course, I could read befo' dis, I jus' wanted to see
iffen I could fin' me a fine piece of white ass. Dey ain' let me near no
wimmin since I got out of de' joint. I wuz gettin desprit. Don' feel bad,
bitch. You's been fucked by Lamar, and you's my woman now. I bets I mades
a lil' black baby wid' you, dat'll be sumthin' to remember ole Lamar by! "
A car horn sounded, Lamar quickly pulled up his jeans, waved at me and
left. I
managed to get myself untied, found an old painting smock and wore that
home. I let
myself in the side door, and cleaned up before my parents could see me. I
wondered what he'd meant by a baby. After all, he hadn't FRENCH-kissed me,
so I couldn't be pregnant!
I never reported it. I was convinced that I had somehow encouraged Lamar
to rape me,and besides, if I'd told, Biff and everyone would know that I had
been taken by a huge black buck, and wasn't a virgin! That weekend, I
danced with Biff at the prom, feeling so ashamed as Biff, looking so blond
and handsome in his tux held me in his arms, never knowning that I, his
precious Muffy, had been ravished and lost my viriginity to a black man.
What would his fraternity brothers at Kappa Alpha think? I tried to forget
the rape, and went on with my life. The rape happened in early May, and I
graduated the first week in June. I was sick graduation day, throwing up
and all, but I managed to give my valedictorian speech, with Biff and my
parents gazing proudly at me in the first row. It wasn't until August that
the throwing up and weight gain made me reconsider my theories on human
conception. I went to a clinic in the city, and the nice Doctor there
explained it to me, and then told me that I was four months pregnant.
There was no way to forget the rape now. I was pregnant with my black
rapist's baby! I told my parents that I had been raped by a black man and
was going to give birth to his baby. They didn't believe me when I said
that I had been raped, and threw me out of the house. I moved to the city,
got on welfare, and took a one-room apartment in a terrible neighborhood. I
wrote Biff a Dear John letter - I couldn't bear his scorn, and knew my
parents wouldn't tell him that his precious Muffy was pregnant with a black
man's baby. I told him that I'd decided to help lepers in India instead of
going to college. He tracked me down in late October, and his eyes popped
out of his head when he saw my belly, bulging with a black man's child. I
heard a few months ago that he finished law school and married Bootsie
Berringer, my best friend in high school. As luck would have it, Lamar
worked in my neighborhood. I didn't see him till I was nearly seven months
along, and he flashed a gold-toothed grin when he saw that he had gotten me
pregnant. I lived alone in my one room apartment, watching my belly get
bigger and bigger, till nine months to the day Lamar raped me, I gave birth
to his black son.
I decided to keep our baby. I had convinced myself that I was ruined for
all other men -who would want a girl who had made a black man rape her? Who
would want a woman
who had gotten herself pregnant with an illegitmate baby, who would want a
stepson that was as black as the ace of spades? It wasn't the baby's fault,
I owed it to him to raise him, since I had caused him to be. I decided to
dedicate my whole life to raising Lamar's son. I didn't know what to name
him. Despite the fact that he was the result of a rape, I wanted him to be
proud of being black, so I gave him the only black name I knew - Lamar Jr.
Lamar came by when his son was about a month old. I didn't want to see him,
but decided that Lamar Jr. should know his papa and that Lamar Sr. had a
right to see his son.
This was five years ago. Lamar doesn't pay any child support - he still
works as a janitor, and has three young kids by other women besides me, plus
his two sons from before he went to jail - but he comes around every now
and again. I decided that Lamar Jr. needed a brother or sister, and since
no white man will have me now, Lamar fucks me when he comes around. We have
three more sons now, Jamal and Shamal (they're twins), and Deion. Plus,
Lamar brought his oldest son Laquan around one night after they'd been
drinking. Of course I ended up pregnant with his baby, Laquan Jr., my
youngest. I'm pregnant again now (it's Lamar's) and due to give birth in
about two weeks. I hope it's a girl. If it is I'll name her Lamara.
But remember, my life was ruined because of rape. Instead of being a
housewife,
married to a lawyer, and living in Greenwich, I'm now the pregnant welfare
mother of five, living in a Harlem shithole. Well, at least most of them
have the same daddy!
-- Junebug. If you liked this, post a message with "More, Junebug, More!"