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o The Bookshelf Directories offer a very wide variety of stories. o
o They have been submitted by people from all over the world. Also o
o from alt.sex.stories (Newsgroups). There is no particular order o
o other than offering them to you in alphabetical directories. o
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o All works are copyrighted to the author and may not be used for o
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o and should not be read by minors. o
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Felicia: A Love Story (MF, romance)
by "Krystoff Vagabond" kvagabond@lycos.com
***
The following story contains some explicit sexual material. Though
not blatantly pornographic, reader discretion is advised. Were
this a movie, it would probably gain an R rating. This story was
written as an exploration of character and while it might be
considered erotic, the intent was to delve into the minds of the
characters rather than to sexually arouse the reader. If you are
looking for that you should look elsewhere. However, if you are
offended by sexuality, you should look somewhere else as well.
This story is Copyright 2000, Krystoff Vagabond. It may be freely
redistributed as long as it remains completely intact and
unmodified (including these headers). I welcome comments and
criticism. Please send any thoughts you have on the story to
kvagabond@mailcity.com You may find other stories of mine at:
/~kvagabond Take a look and tell me what you
think.
-Krystoff
Felicia: A Love Story
After all these years, I still come back here. After all this
time, I still return once a year, and I will until the day I die.
Every year, the same day. September 17th, the most important day of
my life.
I still remember the first time I walked into this bar. I was a
young man then, but in all these years its still the same. It's
funny looking back and thinking about yourself when you were
young. It's funny to think of yourself in your twenties. So alive.
So vital. So full of hope. I was a young man then and I was on top
of the world. I look back now and I realize that I had not yet
begun to live. The things that mattered so much then seem to mean
so little now.
It was the first time I had been in St. Louis. I was there on
business. It was my first meeting with the Williams and Company
people. The most important thing in my life then was to get that
contract signed. And I knew I was going to get it signed. I could
feel it in my toes. I was only twenty seven then. I had only been
in business for myself for just over a year and the Williams and
Company contract was the biggest that I had seen in that time. I
was so prepared. I had researched the company for nearly two
months before I ever even contacted them. I had spent three weeks
preparing that contract. I had rehearsed my introduction thousands
of times on the train to St. Louis. "Hello Mr. Williams. So nice
to meet you, sir." "Hello Mr. Williams. I am very much looking
forward to doing business with you." "Hello, Mr. Williams. I can't
wait to show you how my services can increase your profits." I was
so prepared. I was so ready to take on the world. Back then,
Williams and Company was the most important thing there was in the
world to me. Today, "Williams" is just a name. I couldn't even
tell you what they did.
Felicia isn't a name. It's so much more. It's music. It's poetry.
It's the very definition of beauty. Nothing on earth could have
prepared me for the first moment I saw her. There were no words I
could have rehearsed. There was no paperwork I could have filed.
There were no reports that could have debriefed me. Nothing in my
twenty-seven years had prepared me for that moment. The moment she
stole my breath away. I haven't regained it since.
I 'd been traveling cheaply to keep my expenses down. The small
motel I was staying in didn't have its own bar so I had gone
across the street to get a drink. I so thought I needed one. Some
naive part of me had honestly believed that I'd sell Mr. Williams
on the retainer in just a few hours at that first meeting, and it
was no small disappointment when I didn't. I was crushed. Part of
me thought I was doomed that my entire operation was going to
fold, but I knew all I needed was a scotch to put me back on my
feet. That's all I thought I needed. But I was so wrong.
That moment. The first moment that I learned what beauty meant.
That image will be burned in my mind forever. Five tiny little
fingers. The most perfect fingers that god had ever created
wrapped around a small cocktail glass. That's all I saw at first.
Not breasts. Not legs. Not eyes. Not even a smile. Just five
little fingers wrapped around a glass. That was all I needed. Ten
seconds earlier I would sworn to God Almighty himself that there
was no such thing as love at first sight. Forty-seven years later
and I can tell you that there is really no other kind.
I didn't talk to her at first. I know it sounds silly, but for
the longest time, I just sat there in my booth, watching her sip
that strawberry daiquiri. It really never occurred to me to
approach her. The moment was just too perfect. I wanted it to last
forever. She was like a beautiful painting. A graceful ballet. I
would sooner have died than interrupt the performance. I would
have laid down my life before I marred that image.
I didn't die, and the moment didn't last forever. I honestly
don't know how long it lasted. It was probably several minutes. In
my mind, I remember it being days. Everything else had faded away.
Who made the first move? I don't remember approaching her; I
don't remember her walking over to me. I don't remember what we
spoke about. What I do remember is her voice. Soft as goose down.
Sweet as nectar. I remember being there for hours as I listened to
her talk. Listening to her voice. Just loving to hear her speak.
That night, I thought that I knew everything there was to know
about Felicia Martinez, but for the forty-three years that
followed, I don't think there was a single day that I didn't learn
something new.
Forty-three years. They seem like ten seconds compared to the
four that I have been through since. But then there are nights
like tonight where I think back and remember, and each second
seems to last an eternity.
I'm back at the motel and I open the door to my room. Room 317.
Our room. A bed the size of the one that I slept in when I was a
child. Wallpaper that faded and turned yellow decades ago. Two
chairs and a table that do not match. I see the crack in one of
the tiny windows that hasn't been repaired in the two years since
I first noticed it. Tonight, as it has been every September 17th
for the past forty-seven years, this room is the penthouse suite.
I close my eyes and I'm twenty-seven years old, a young man with
the most beautiful girl I have ever seen by my side. I lead her
into the small room and take her coat. She looks around nervously
as I watch her. "Don't worry," I say, a little unsure of myself.
She smiles that crooked little smile that I have always loved and
tells me she's not worried at all. I know she is because I am too.
I kiss her bare white shoulder very gently as I slide the strap
of her summer dress down. I feel her quiver at the touch of my
breath as she releases a small sigh. Again I reassure her that
everything will be all right as I take those small perfect fingers
in my hand. She squeezes and I squeeze back. I find her lips with
mine and we engage in our first kiss. My eyes close and I imagine
that we are falling together through the clouds. Hand in hand a
smile on both our faces, falling or soaring, like eagles; I'm not
sure which. But in the sky, the only people alive. This moment
forever.
We touch down and I open my eyes to find us lying side by side.
She opens her eyes when I pull away my lips. Our bodies entwined
in scandalous fashion, improper for a couple not yet married. Ten
times so for one who only met hours ago. I notice my hand upon her
breast and issue my apology as I draw it away. "It's okay," she
whispers to me as she tightens her grip behind my neck.
"But," I try to protest once more.
"Shhh7 it's okay," Felicia whispers again as she silences me with
another kiss.
I've seen a naked woman before. I was seventeen and Jimmy. Jimmy.
I can't remember his last name. Jimmy and I went to the peep show
after school. I remember being nervous. I remember being almost
frightened. I remember Jimmy laughing at me when my excitement got
the better of me and I ejaculated in my trousers. I remember my
confession to Father Delgado barely an hour later. I remember my
apologies and my prayers to God for forgiveness.
But here and now. Fornication. Premarital sin. And I know the
Lord cannot disapprove. Never had anything in my life felt so
right as holding Felicia's head against my chest. She sits up and
those tiny perfect fingers slowly fumble with each button on the
front of her dress. I have no words. I dare not even breathe. She
takes one last look into my eyes as I try to tell her she doesn't
have to do this. She closes her eyes and our gaze is broken as she
pulls her dress down and exposes her breasts.
"It's okay, It's okay" she keeps telling me. Reassuring me that
the pain is not too bad. Comforting me the way that I should be
comforting her. "It's okay," she says as I press our bodies
together. Her face betrays her pain. I brush her cheek and lift
away a tear. "I love you, Felicia" I say for the very first time,
and I feel her fingers run through the back of my hair as we make
love till morning.
I still feel her fingers running through my hair. Hair that I
haven't had for over twelve years. I close my eyes and I still see
those slender fingers and those milky white shoulders, I lie
alone, naked in a bed too small for me now and too small for the
two of us then. Alone, but still I feel her lying here with me.
You may find other stories of mine at:
/~kvagabond
Take a look and tell me what you think.
-Krystoff