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o The Bookshelf Directories offer a very wide variety of stories. o
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Computer Lab (MF)
By Richh (c) 1991
***
At the time I thought he didn't notice me Wishful thinking? Later I
found that just the opposite was true in his basement, he had made a
kind of voodoo shrine to me, and my picture was on his coat hangers,
plus, he wanted his TWO DOLLARS! I had been watching him for maybe two
months trying to decide what it was about him that made my hormones go
wild Yes, they would all line up and kick like the Rockettes.
When seated next to him I got so wet that I was worried about leaving a
stain on the chair later I realized that it was just my cigar-smoke that
had triggered the sprinkler above my desk... I had read about pheromone
in relation to animals, but never thought that people were subject to
the same influences Cause I'm just a silly little girl. I could never
make a connection like that Hee. Wanna see my underwear?
Why we frequently found ourselves in such close proximity was another
story Does this mean what I think it means...? The English department
where I taught English as a second language did not think a lowly
adjunct good word! Needed a computer.
In fact, they didn't even think I merited a desk or, hee hee, A POT TO
PEE IN! Silly ole me. In reality, I didn't need a computer, as
programming was just a hobby for me Yes, I think most English profs
would agree. "Computers...BAH! I just liked the idea of making a machine
my slave I, of course, prefer to make a slave my machine, but hey,
different strokes...
Thus we found ourselves seated in front of our respective IBM clones
nothing gets me going like erotica chock-full of computer references. If
she later mentions IMSAI, and misspells it, I will surely die. Altair?
S-100 bus? Oh the humanity! On an almost daily basis. With a little
detective work I asked him. Call me Samantha Spayed!
I found out that his name was Alex and he was an water polo instructor
in the computer science department. Even if he had been a sexual zilch
zero, I still would have probably noticed him, as we were the ONLY users
of the two PCs in a faculty lab filled with Macs and the only two that
wore leather bullet-bras over our halter-tops. God! How I hated those
machines what's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like
comp.sys.Amiga.Advocacy?
My prejudice God, how I hate serendipidists! Like most of my other
unattractive features was inherited, in my case of the clap from my
father. He has been working with computers for the last 30 years in
fact, he invented the transistor! Shocking. As a memento, he gave me his
original IMSA 8080 Oh God, she did it! still in working order. I had
been brought up to think that computers should not be 'cute' nor should
Sally Fields, but she's a button! .
Herman Goering, the director of the lab, must have picked up on my vibes
because it wasn't a cordless one, but one of those big white mongo plug-
in deals with the end that looks like a disc brake. And boy, was it
loud. as he would barely give me the time of day does anybody really
know what time it is? Does anybody really care. Lemme see, it's six to
four That is, until I hatched MY PLAN I would corner the world silver
market and then found the USFL! .
One day, finally overcoming my shyness is nice, but shyness can stop you
from doing all the things in life that you want to , I glanced over at
Alex TREBECK! Together, we would RULE THE WORLD!! Actually, I looked at
his hall monitor armband, notable for the penciled-in swastika and
realized that he was trying to pirate a ship! But if you're not the
Dread Pirate Roberts, then who is? an application for employment at
Denny's, which is silly, because if you just ask, they are required by
law to give you one. .
"If Herman Melville catches you, he will hang you by your barnacles and
huge, gaping blowhole thumbnails and tattoo Mac icons on strange parts
of your body. Honey, there ain't a part of me that's not strange. I'm
from Canada. "
Alex Winter laughed and said "There's madness afoot at the Circle-K this
eve." "Oh, Herman and I are good buddies what is...a euphemism for
'life mates'? I teach Pascal using Chisembop and 'Hooked on Phonics' the
Mac and I frequently have to ask him questions. Actually, I make up the
questions so I can stay on his good side his BACK!"
After the ice was broken, we began to skate talk every day. On about the
third day, I found out about HIS OFFICE He was...POPE! Since he was an
instructor, the university deemed I love when a word like this crops up.
Remember 'adjunct'? 'Merited'?? And now this. To give him an office.
It was a hasty retreat sheetrock affair of about 70 square feet and a
very large Steel case desk um, excuse me. It was a "hasty" office?
Well...you're the wordsmith. On the downside of five o'clock here at
WOGL, and I'm gonna be sending you home with a little Bay City Rollers
Action: S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y. NIGHT! It was located off the very room in
which I sat the very!
Despite these limitations, it had a door with a lock of angel-hair pasta
Scotch-taped to it, the meaning of which eludes me even now This was not
the point when I began to formulate MY 5-YEAR-PLAN, but I am sure that
it was an inspiration I sniffed again. My mistake. Per...
MY 5-YEAR-PLAN took its focus the day Alex and I were on the elevator
together First, I would arrest all the artists and philosophers. Then I
would make everyone wear gray and cut their hair like Moe Howard.
Then... It was the typical cattle car scene lots of shit on the floor
and a crazy cowboy or two getting their rocks off. We were jammed in
like sardines and the only redeeming factor that when pressed against
each other I realized that Alex was sporting a very big hard on blood
log After this revelation and a few later surreptitious glances, I
realized that he had a constant erection whenever we were together this
could only mean one thing! He liked girls. He seemed to have the same
chemical reaction to me as I did to him Yes, his vagina would moisten
and his nipples would press against his bra.
This discovery was the impetus keeps these words coming. You know,
impetus can be cured. Roll some stamps around his penis before you go to
bed, stamp AIR MAIL on his forehead and then... which led me to even
think about anything as risky as THE PLAN 9 From Outer Space by Edward
Woodie.
A few very innocent lunches, laced with a lot of heavy saltpeter sexual
DYNAMO tension, followed. As inconvenient as the location of his office
WAS, it turned out that we were both married. This came as not a really
big surprise, as I was fully cognizant aware, to you and me of my own
marital status no fool I! Although I forget sometimes and have to look
at the ring to remind me. I'm so silly. and since he was not a
kidnapper.
Although he does know just a few too many details about the Lindbergh
baby, and whenever he talks about it, he says "we". But I'm so silly...
the probabilities of drawing a seven when doubling hard fourteen against
a dealer's six drop dramatically if you scream, "Hit me, Lotus-Blossom!"
and pound your fist on the table were that he was married too.
Although I had anticipated the fact, it presented word problems
especially those annoying 'related rates" thingees. I mean, who cares
how fast the pool fills?! How will this come in handy at the
supermarket? I never claimed to be a romantic poet , but the idea of a
Grecian Urn seedy motel room didn't much appeal to the car thief in me.
His office therefore became the most likely location No doubt. As I
mentioned before, its only assets were the large desk and the locked
door Well, and the bondage table, the sling, the hydraulic winch, the
cross... The walls were toilet paper thin. Since I generally cum loudly
and frequently IN BED, after contemplation of course it helps that my
mantra is "fuck me," I decided I had better begin my homework thank God
all the odd answers were in the back.
While Herman beamed away zip-a-dee-do-dah, zip-a-dee-ay, my oh my--, I
began my research on the Mac. Discretion was the better part of valor?
Keyword says the key word and you win fifty dollars. Herman was very
protective of his little apples as he called his marble-sized testicles
The actual de programming was done at home thanks to a Mac on loan from
a friend Steve Jobs (When it comes to programming, I am very patient.
Yes, I believe most programmers share this quality.
In fact, I relish nothing more than the thought of compiling and linking
five megs of Clipper code on an 8080 ) Finally, after weeks of debugging
de-lousing, call it what you will , I was able to write and load a nifty
nifty! Hee. Aren't I just...such a girl! little program that would
render the Mac server useless for the hour or so I hoped I needed
Fabulous idea. Your co-workers will love you for it, especially if
they're in mid-compile, or haven't saved anything.
After what had seemed eons thousands of years , the day of execution
arrived I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
HIS! This was not exactly the type of program you could master Beta test
so I just VHS'ed it crossed my legs, snapping a co-worker's neck fingers
and hoped I could prove my love to my father death be not proud.
Although we were definitely running on the same track the slow one , I
didn't want Alex to suffer cardiac arrest so I slipped the nitro pill
under his tongue In preparation for what was to come The CULTURAL
REVOLUTION! , I strolled into his office humming the tune of My Favorite
Things from the Sound of Music OH THE HUMANITY! Hey, remember Julie
Andrew's hooters in "S.O.B"? I do.
They weren't big or pendulous but they were floppy. When I began to sing
my lyrics to the song, a broad grin crossed his face and he looked like
an idiot child, who loves nothing so much as wood (If this is beginning
to sound like a scene from an Indian movie, you're right, but stay
tuned. Oh I will, I WILL. Mississippi Masala?)
* Guys in tight bike pants, their crotches a-bulgin'
* Wet, hot, slick, hard skin, and secrets divulgin'
* A story 'bout Suzy-Q "Queen. Of. Hearts. Come on,
come ah-ahn,
* oh what a scene,
* These are a few of my favorite things
* Guys in blue denim denim boys. yummy, their lashes
a blazin' oh my!
* One with his pants off, his size is amazin'!
* A horse with a hard on suspended by strings * asterisk
* These are a few of my favorite things
* When the clap applause hits, when his pud drops,
and I need it bad
* I simply remember my favorite things, and then I
don't feel so sad.
* This line inserted in honor of Catherine the Great,
and the new Russian democracy! Nay!
After my vocal recount of MY favorite things there wasn't much
resistance (none, maybe? ya think? ) when I knelt down in front of him
and unzipped his jeans. Having waited for what seemed centuries hundreds
of years, I immediately began to savor the table of contents. As my
tongue rolled around the head of his penis, in a voice tempered with
both ecstasy ouch and panic, he murmured, "Jesus, Clarissa Harlowe! We
can't do this here. But Lovelace..."
Before the not to worry reassurance crossed my lips both of us heard a
shaken not stirred Herman pounding his pud fists on a nearby keyboard.
Putting two and two together Alex began laughing so uncontrollably that
I found it my civic duty to silence him Yes, I shot him. Retaking
appendage in mouth eek I began to suck it for all it was worth.
Not being slow on the uptake, Alex slid his hands into my blouse and
discovered I was not wearing a bra Hoo-er! In fact, since it was a
special occasion I had dispensed with all underwear I dress like this at
all joint sessions of congress, state dinners, and public executions
Taking this as his cue I broke, sank the eight ball, and blew that
popsicle stand , with a quick switch of positions we found ourselves
facing away from each other, preparing to duel on his large Steel case
desk.
He began by running his tongue along the curve of my small but well mal
formed breast, and down my ample belly. Bearing right at 68 degrees my
navel, he shortly found his tongue wading through my short and curlies
Oh how precious! I want to bite and kiss you. I sucked him deeper into
my mouth as his tongue hit my clit Axl Rose He had one hand twiddling! I
don't know you silly boy, I've never twiddled my clit between tongue
laps, while his tongue was exploring my wet cunt, darting in and out
dart-like, tracing my lips all the way back where he lightly nibbled
that very sensitive area between cunt and anus I like to call it North
Jersey, and then he gave my hole itself a gentle tooth brush but that is
the stuff of urban legends.
Ooh, it was a Reach The Big chill that shot up my spine caused me to
gasp and retch, sucking his pumping cock deeper into my eager mouth. His
tongue finally returned to my clit. God the walls were shaking the Earth
was quaking my mind was aching, and we were making it. them mean old
eyes...knocking me out with those American trout!
I could have continued with this game for a long, long time, but as if
out of nowhere a condom appeared oh thank you thank you my fairy condom
godmother! My heart, already pounding double time, started doing little
flips wreaking havoc with my artificial mistral valve My clitty, so
recently being ministered to by tongue, started pounding in anticipation
of what it knew was coming After three pounds she popped. I took the
packet from him and ripped it open nearly destroying the condom in the
process.
Now, with both of us sitting on the edge of that steel case, I gently
grasped his member [I just HAD to] we understand in one hand and
unrolled the sheath with my other if it hurt as I unraveled the skin
from his penis he never let on. And they say chivalry is dead. Piffle, I
say. I realized that the wrapper was still in my hand 20 more and I
could get a Bazooka Joe decoder ring As I reached across the desk to the
trash, I felt a hand on my back, and then another reaching around my
waist to my hot pussy at first this was disconcerting since Alex was
standing right in front of me... I knew what was coming soon...we'd
PADIDDLE! , and I reached back to help guide his flesh missile into my
anxious (but not hardened) target!
I thought you were sitting on the edge of the desk? So what target? MY
SPINE! Help wasn't needed however, and before my hand found its target,
his smart missile found mine, and with a grunt of satisfaction he
started his long, long journey home.
With a long slow push I felt myself filling up with...SEMPRINI? Then his
hand came around me and started to caress my clit man in the rowboat.
icky. Then finger twiddle, slow stroke out, fingers, fast push in. My
clamping him tight on each outstroke was driving us both to a frenzy
sub-par Hitchcock, but not without its good points, like when the camera
backs away from the woman's apartment and down the stairs. With each
beat of the penetration, the cycle of pleasure began all over again cool
beans. As if upon mutual pre-nuptial agreement, a soft languid cry
flowed from our lips and could have been heard if anyone had been
listening it sounded something like, "BARANGUS!" Serendipitously luckily
, a loud wail a great white one from Herman Melville was produced on the
opposite side of the wall how fortuitous!
I wish I could describe the sound of 12 Macs crashing simultaneously,
but it really isn't very interesting I believe you. Honest.
RICHH