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o o
o The Bookshelf Directories offer a very wide variety o
o of stories. They have been submitted by people from o
o all over the world. Also from alt.sex.stories (News o
o groups). There is no particular order other than o
o offering them to you in alphabetical directories. o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Always With Me - 3
by Secret DC Guy (secretdcguy@hotmail.com)
***
Brian and JJ's friendship continues to grow, but Brian
learns about some of his new friend's imperfections—and
some of his own. (FF, ped, rom, ws)
***
Author Note: Remember all rights are reserved for the
author who claims exclusive use. Permission to repost or
print for profit is not granted. Please contact the
author with any questions.
***
Chapter 3: What the Past Gives Us
I was sitting in bed, looking at a comic book, and
trying to find a way to get tired. My parents had
already left the room, and I didn't expect them back,
though I couldn't be sure. They'd been suspicious when I
told them that I wanted to sleep with my bedside light
on. I'm sure they thought I was going to stay up reading
all night or something. However, when I said that
talking about Julia earlier today made me scared, they
relented. It was a lie, but I'm not sure how they would
have reacted I'd said that JJ wanted to be able to look
over and see that I was there.
Suddenly, I heard a muffled shout, "Hey, Brian. Can you
hear me?"
Walking over to the window, I saw JJ across the way. She
had the screen up and was leaning out the window as far
as she could. She seemed excited again, and I was afraid
that she might just bounce out the window.
"Yeah, I can," I responded. "Please don't fall out."
"Oh, sorry," she said, pulling herself back inside.
"Isn't this great! We can talk any time we want. And
nobody can hear us!"
I wasn't so sure about nobody hearing us, but it was
really nice to have a friend I could talk to just about
whenever I wanted. After I agreed that it was great, I
felt the need to say something about how much fun I'd
had that day. I wanted to say how much I wanted to be
with her again. I even wanted to tell her that if I
could jump that far, I'd crawl right into bed with her.
However, before I could confess, JJ's face turned
serious. "Brian, would it scare you if you saw me
sitting in the window watching you sleep?"
The idea freaked me out, as the thought of waking up to
someone staring at me was as weird as anything I could
think of. However, before I could form any words about
how to say that, I found myself saying, "I can deal with
it. Why?"
"It's just that some nights I feel lonely. I don't know
why, but I think seeing you would make me feel better,"
JJ answered. She was no longer looking at me. Instead,
her eyes were focused on the small piece of lawn between
the houses. My heart melted.
"JJ, if you need to do it, I guess it's OK," I
responded, trying to give her a reassuring smile.
"Thanks, Brian," she said gazing at me and smiling.
Though beautiful, her face looked more wistful than
angelic. There even seemed to be a resigned sadness
buried behind it. "Make me another promise, Brian.
Sometimes I do something really embarrassing when I
sleep. Promise me you won't laugh and you'll still be my
friend."
I didn't want to tell her that I'd already seen her
drooling, but I thought she might be upset if I said so.
Instead, I just promised her that I would be her friend
no matter what. With that reassurance, the angelic smile
returned and she excused herself to bed. Suddenly
feeling tired, I slid back under my covers.
* * *
"Mom! Dad! It happened again!"
The shout woke me from a shallow sleep. I didn't look at
my clock, but judging by how quiet it was outside, I
knew it must be very late. Softly, I snuck over to my
window to see if JJ was OK. I tried to be as discreet as
possible, but she saw me immediately. I could tell she
was crying because her face was red and scrunched. She
started making some kind of motion with her hand that I
somehow realized meant I should turn off my light.
At first I was confused, since she said that seeing me
might make her feel better if something were wrong, but
then I remember that my mother used to make sure lights
were off before she looked out a window at night. She
said that if a room was dark, people couldn't see in the
window. I turned my bedside light off just in time for
the JJ's parents to enter the room. After cautiously
looking at the bed—something that seemed odd—they both
sat down and hugged JJ. For a few minutes none of them
moved.
Then I heard her mother's voice for the first time. "Was
there a dream this time?"
"I don't remember. I just woke up and it was happening,"
JJ impatiently replied.
"It's OK, JJ," her father reassured. "The doctor told us
this might keep happening. But remember he told us that
asking the questions might help figure out what will
help."
"I know, dad," JJ said as she started to cry again. "But
we moved up here so this would stop. I'm just afraid
that people are going to laugh at me just like they did
at our old home. I don't want to have no friends again."
"Don't worry," her mother said pulling her into a hug.
"Friends will come. What about that boy next door? You
seemed to get along."
"Brian's not a friend…" I felt crushed, as her words
trailed off. I was so hurt that I almost missed her
finish, "He promised me he'll always be with me. He
won't forget me like all my friends did."
Her father chuckled and joined the hug. "When he finds
out, I'm sure he'll understand."
"He will?" JJ asked, as she pulled back and looked in
her father's eyes, searching to see if that was a
promise.
"He's a good kid. I'm sure he will." Her father said. I
had to duck as he walked over to her window and closed
the blinds. I heard JJ say something in the background,
but her father firmly replied, "You can put them back up
when you're done."
About five minutes later, the blinds opened again. JJ
was alone in her room. I quickly turned my bedside lamp
back on and went to the window. She looked as if she
were trying to tell me something, but wanted to cry even
more. All I could think to do was to smile, wave, and
put out my arms like I wanted to hug her. It brought a
smile to JJ's face, not quite the angelic smile I loved,
but a deeply sincere one none the less. She quickly blew
me a kiss, waved, then headed back to bed.
* * *
Mondays were the one day I always got up early during
the summer. It was the first day of the work week, and
for some reason I thought it would be good luck to see
my dad off to work. Other days he'd be gone before I
awoke—bankers don't really keep bankers' hours. This
morning I kissed my father good-bye and waved as he got
into his car and rumbled down the street.
I was still sitting at the kitchen table eating
breakfast, when I heard a knock at the back door. My
mother was in the basement doing laundry, so I got up to
answer it. There in the morning sunshine was JJ standing
in a summer skirt and a t-shirt, beaming with her
angelic smile. She gave me a big hug, then stood back
and looked deeply into my eyes. It wasn't quite as if
she were searching my soul for something, rather it was
like she was looking into a box to make sure some
treasure was still there.
For a minute we didn't say anything, but eventually, JJ
told me that she wanted to tell me something really
important. I figured it had something to do with last
night because she was obviously very nervous. Wanting
put her at ease, I led her inside and had her sit
opposite me at the kitchen table. Even then, it seemed
she couldn't work up the nerve to tell me.
Then any chance of JJ telling me disappeared a few
minutes later. The knock had brought my mother back
upstairs. Smiling, she offered JJ some breakfast. After
protesting that she already eaten, JJ did accept a bowl
of strawberries. As we sat finishing our breakfast, my
mother asked us about our plans for the day. Since JJ
didn't really have any idea about what there was to do
in the neighborhood, my mother suggested that I walk her
around a bit. She'd leave the back door open for us, as
she was going over to help JJ's mother unpack.
Neither of us was allowed to cross the street by
ourselves, even though it was a pretty quiet street, so
we walked up the block one way. There really weren't any
kids up that side, but at the end of the long block,
there was a corner store. My mother had given us each a
dollar, so we each bought a can of coke and a candy bar.
We had thought about sitting on the stoop while we ate,
Mr. Johnson didn't mind when kids did that, but instead
we started walking back towards my house.
We intended to walk to the other end of the block, but
just after we had passed our houses we saw a group of
teenagers in front of us. All of a sudden they started
running towards us, one shouting "If it isn't Bri-Bri
Shafer with the new girl. Gonna get married and have
some babies?" I recognized the laugh and turned to JJ to
explain, but it was too late.
As soon as the boys started running towards us, JJ
dropped her coke can and screamed. Before I realized
what happened, she had bolted back down the street and
turned into her yard. I saw her take the steps two at
time then pound on the front door. I ran after her, but
was only halfway there when the door opened and she went
inside.
I stood stunned trying to figure out what happened, when
I heard a voice behind me. "Jeeze, Cousin.
What got into her?"
I turned around to see my cousin Tony with a group of
his friends. "I think you scared her," was all I could
say as I walked back up the street towards them.
Tony eyes fell to the ground. While he tried to
cultivate a tough guy image, he was really very caring,
and his friends were much the same. During the school
year they were into sports and girls, but on summer
days, they were a 'gang' protecting the neighborhood. It
really meant that they just hung out in one of their
yards and rode their bikes around a lot. While everyone
thought they could be doing better things with their
time, everyone appreciated that they kept an eye out for
the younger kids. Though they'd act like punks about it,
they would regularly walk kids home when it was getting
a bit too dark. In all, they were really good guys.
"Ah heck," Tony sighed. "I didn't mean to do that. I
just wanted to tease my favorite cousin a little.
Think she's OK?"
I wasn't sure whether she would be because I still had
no idea what really happened. I told Tony that I had
only met her yesterday, so I didn't know. Concerned, he
asked if I could walk him to her house so he could
apologize. As we turned towards her house, he got a
strange look on his face and said, "Damn, I can't
believe she dropped an entire can of Coke."
Looking down I saw a big wet spot on the ground. That
was odd because she had been drinking her Coke since we
left the store, and should have been mostly done by now.
In addition, there was a series of drips going down the
street. I looked up at Tony and said, "She must have
gotten it on her clothes or something. Look how the
drips go down the block."
Tony agreed that it was odd as we walked to JJ's house.
When we knocked at the door, my mother answered. Her
hair was messed and she was sweating. I couldn't
understand how helping JJ's mom unpack could make her
look so disheveled. My mother also was furious. I guess
she hadn't heard the whole story, so she lay into Tony
about scaring JJ. When Tony explained that he didn't
mean any harm, my mother calmed down, but still looked
very frustrated.
In a few minutes, JJ's mother came down the stairs. My
mother introduced Tony, who asked if he could apologize.
Mrs. Jenkins went back up for a few minutes, and then
invited us to come as well. JJ was willing to listen to
Tony; the only thing was that she wanted to talk through
a closed door, which seemed really strange to me.
When we got to the door, I knocked. From the other side,
JJ said, "Is that you, Brian."
"Yeah," I replied. "Me and my cousin Tony."
Tony jumped in. "Hi, JJ. I'm really sorry that I scared
you. I just wanted to tease, Brian a bit. You see we're
cousins, and I do that a lot."
"Yeah, he does," I replied, trying to convey that I
liked the attention Tony gave me.
"So you didn't mean anything about Brian and me having
babies?" JJ whimpered from the other side of the door.
"Jeeze," Tony sighed, looking exasperated. "I didn't
mean anything by that. I was just…" Tony didn't finish
what he was saying, and JJ didn't say anything from the
other side of the door. For me it was extremely awkward.
Finally, I asked, "So is everything all right?"
"Sure. I'm just really embarrassed," JJ quietly said.
Tony perked up a bit and tried to reassure JJ, "Come on.
It's happened to all of us. Do you know how many times
I've had the piss scared out of me?"
"It's happened to you too?" JJ asked.
"Yep, so you shouldn't feel bad about it," Tony
continued. "I mean, the spilling Coke all over yourself
is kinda new, but how about I buy you another one."
"Spilling my Coke?" JJ asked. She seemed surprised by
what Tony said.
"Yeah," I interjected. "We figured when it spilled and
got on your clothes because there were drips all down
the sidewalk."
JJ paused for a second, the said, "It would be great if
you got me another Coke. That's what I'm embarrassed
about."
"OK, then do you want to go get one now," I asked, ready
to get back to the day I'd been sharing with her.
"Umm... Actually… I feel kinda sick," JJ said quietly.
"Can I come over tomorrow?"
"Yeah," I said. I couldn't help but be disappointed.
"I'll make it up to you, Brian," JJ said. I couldn't see
her face, but she sounded very serious.
After exchanging good-byes with JJ, Tony and I went back
downstairs. Mrs. Jenkins and my mom were talking, both
seeming fidgety. As we headed for the door, my mom
hugged Mrs. Jenkins and said she'd be back over
tomorrow. On the porch I asked her why she didn't stay
to help unpack, but she said it would be hard to get
stuff done with JJ home and sick.
Out on the street, Tony said good-bye and went to join
his friends. With nothing left to do for the day, my
mother suggested we go to the mall, and then go for ice
cream. That sounded good to me.
* * *
After dinner and bath, I was waiting in my room with
blinds up and the lights off. I wanted to see JJ, but I
didn't want anyone to think that I was waiting to peep
in her window. Her blinds had been down all day and her
lights had never come on, so I couldn't tell if she were
in her room or not. However, I figured that she still
had unpacking to do and must have been at that all day.
Just about 8:30, I saw the light come on behind the
blinds.
"Just wear one, sweetheart. It'll make it easier," I
heard her father say.
"No!" JJ screamed. "It's embarrassing."
"Nobody's go to know, dear," her mother tried to add.
"Brian will!"
"I don't see how he will, honey," her mother said. "But
I thought you were going to tell him tomorrow anyway."
I could hear JJ crying in the background, "I'm scared,
mom. What if I tell him, and he doesn't like me
anymore?"
Her words cut. I know I hadn't known JJ long enough to
have her trust me yet, but I really couldn't think of
anything that would change my feelings for her. I
decided that no matter what she told me, I wouldn't
laugh or tease her. Whatever, she was going to tell me
was apparently very hard for her to talk about. I
wouldn't make it any harder.
JJ's room got quiet, though I'm sure I heard her mother
quietly comforting her as JJ softly whimpered. After
about half an hour, I could tell the big light went off
and the bedside light came on. A few minutes later, JJ
opened the blinds. It looked like she was going to call
for me, but when she saw me sitting in the window she
just waved and sat in hers. For a few minutes neither of
us said anything. Finally she asked if I were going to
be home the next day. After I said yes, she smiled and
said she would come over for breakfast. Then she waved
good night and went to bed.
I sat for a few more minutes watching her until she fell
asleep. At first, she looked her usual angelic self, but
soon enough her mouth opened and she started to drool. I
smiled, for some reason that made her perfect.
* * *
JJ must have thought that I got up every day at the same
time I had on Monday because when I came downstairs she
was sitting at the kitchen table eating an apple and
talking with my mother. Her baseball mitt was sitting on
the floor next to the table, and she was wearing her
Yankees hat and jersey. On the bottom she had a pair of
white pinstriped shorts that I guess were supposed to go
with the shirt, though they really didn't. When I sat
down next to JJ, she gave me a tentative smile, but then
leaned over and hugged me.
My mother beamed with a smile, then told us that we were
on our own today. She and Mrs. Jenkins were going to be
busy unpacking and didn't want to be disturbed. She had
already made cheese sandwiches for our lunch, and all we
needed to do was get them out of the fridge. She had
also put some chips on the counter and gave us some
money to get a candy bar.
We spent a good portion of the morning throwing a
baseball around and generally goofing off. It was
summer, so we really didn't have anything to do. About
noon, Tony and his friends came by to see if we were
around. After proper introductions, my cousin was true
to his word, and bought us Cokes at the corner store.
They sat with us for a while, I guess to make sure that
JJ was comfortable with them, but eventually they left
to go ride their bicycles to the other side of town.
We had already spent a good portion of the day together,
but JJ still hadn't told me what she had wanted to. It
bothered me a little, and I wondered if she really
didn't trust me. On the other hand, we were having a lot
of fun together. I really didn't want that to end. One
thing I was afraid was letting JJ get bored. Even though
we were on our own today, we were still limited to one
block. So we'd have to make our own fun. For some
reason, I thought the best thing to do would be to walk
home along the railroad tracks. At first, JJ seemed
uncertain, but eventually she agreed.
The walk along the tracks was uneventful until we got
close to houses. At one time, there had been a lot of
factories along the tracks, but today there were hardly
any, so it was rare for a train to come by. But they did
come, usually at the most unexpected times. Starting at
my house and continuing to the far end of the block was
a large open field. But before that the tracks were
lined with trees. We had just reached the field, when we
heard a train whistle blow.
I don't know why I didn't hear the train earlier, but it
was very close behind us. Even though the gravel
shoulder at the side of the tracks was wide, I knew we
needed to get off the tracks. I was the one closer to
the tracks, with JJ between me and a hill that descended
into the field. As I turned, I realized that she was
frozen in place, petrified that we were so close to the
train. Instead of trying to get her to move, I grabbed
her and pushed off. We ended up rolling down the hill
together.
When we got to the bottom, I stood up and looked around.
I had some scratches from rolling down the hill, so I
figured that JJ had a few too. However when the noise of
the train had passed, I noticed that JJ was crying.
Thinking she might be hurt badly, I crouched down in
front of her. It was then I realized what happened. Her
crotch was wet and I could smell pee. JJ had wet her
pants.
I must have looked shocked because JJ sprung up and
tried to run away. Before she could, I grabbed her hand
and stopped her. She faced me with tears streaming down
her face. "I'm so sorry," was all she could say.
I didn't know what else to do, so I hugged her and told
her it would be OK. Then she started to explain that
ever since people found out what Mike was doing to her,
she had been having problems. At night she would have
dreams and wet the bed. Whenever she got really scared,
she would pee her pants. She had seen doctors, but they
couldn't make it stop.
"I'm so embarrassed, Brian," she whimpered to me. "I was
going to tell you today, but I was having so much fun, I
didn't know when to say it."
"It's OK," I replied. Then I remembered what she had
said to her parents the night before, so I said, "I
still want to be your friend."
JJ started to cry, though this time I could tell that
she was crying with happiness. Throwing her arms around
my neck and jumping at me, she knocked me back onto the
hill, so I was sitting and she was kneeling on me. My
head was about the level of her chest, but somehow still
managed to look at each other's eyes. This close, I
could tell hers were a deep green like the emerald
pendant my mother wore every Saint Patrick's Day. They
were warm and welcoming, but distant at the same time.
Even at six years old, I could tell that this girl had
been hurt badly in her life.
I could also feel our bodies pressed together. The way
we were sitting, her privates pressed down on my wee-
wee. I could feel the damp warmth of her shorts pressed
against mine, and I could feel myself getting hard and
the tickle I had felt when I had seen JJ naked appeared.
JJ must have felt it as well, because she quietly asked
if "I could feel that too."
Without any prompting, she started gently rocking her
hips over mine. Looking up, I saw that her eyes were
closed and she was breathing heavily. I put my arms
around her and pulled her closer. Partly I wanted to
feel the rocking harder, but more so, I wanted to have
her close and to feel her body against mine. After a few
minutes of doing this in silence, she stop and tried to
pull away. I was scared that I had done something wrong,
but I didn't want to let go. When I hesitated, JJ said,
"Let go, there's more coming."
I knew immediately she what she meant. Normally, I would
have been disgusted by the thought, but right now it
didn't matter. So I told her to go ahead. Quietly she
said OK, and started to pee. I know I should have been
disgusted, but instead I enjoyed the feeling. Somehow it
felt like JJ was sharing her deepest secret with me in a
physical sense. The tickle on my wee-wee got more
intense. It must have done something for JJ too because
when she was peeing, she leaned down and gently kissed
me on the lips.
Unfortunately, the feeling must have disappeared when
she finished peeing, because she gently pushed my arms
from around her and said she needed to get cleaned up.
Taking my hand and pulling me up, we walked to her house
without saying a word. We tried the back door, but it
was locked. We decided to try the front door, but we
knew we would have to sneak around the house because JJ
didn't want anyone to see her wet shorts. She reminded
me that mine were wet too.
When we were on the front porch, JJ tried the front
door, but that was locked too. She went to look in a
window, as I was about to knock. However, before I
could, she grabbed my hand and put her finger over her
lips to tell me to be quiet. I didn't know why, but she
looked shocked. When she pointed through the window, I
understood why she was.
My mother and Mrs. Jenkins were sitting on the couch in
long t-shirts, which looked like they were supposed to
be night shirts but weren't quiet long enough. They were
cuddling and chatting, looking into each other's eyes,
like JJ and I had been doing just a few minutes earlier.
Mrs. Jenkins head was on my mother's shoulder at first,
but then all of a sudden, she turned over so she was
kneeling over my mother.
It was the exact same position that JJ had been in with
me. Then, just like what had happened between us, Mrs.
Jenkins leaned over and gently kissed my mother on the
lips. She pulled back and stood up.
Then taking my mother by the hand, Mrs. Jenkins led my
mom to the stairs. Smiling, they disappeared.
We stood in silence for a few minutes, completely
forgetting that our clothing was covered in JJ's pee.
Our shock wasn't broken until we heard Tony shout hello
as he and his friends rode their bikes past the house.
I'm not sure if they noticed anything was wrong, but we
had been brought back to reality. JJ asked if I had
anything she could wear. I nodded my head, and we went
back to my house.
When we got there, JJ went to the bathroom as I got new
shorts and underwear for myself. I didn't have any
girl's clothing, so I just grabbed the same for her. As
I got to the bathroom, I noticed that JJ had left the
door open. She was standing in the tub completely naked
cleaning herself with a wash cloth. When she saw me
staring at her, she told me to come in and close the
door. I was completely enamored by her beauty. My heart
began to beat faster, the tickle returned, and I felt
myself getting hard.
Something told me I should be embarrassed, but when JJ
told me to take off my clothing and get cleaned up with
her I did as she said. It was like a dream as I stepped
into the tub, not noticing anything in the world.
However, quickly I noticed that JJ was looking at me the
way I had looked at her. She was even squirming a
little.
I don't know why, but I suggested that we wash each
other. As if she were in a trance, JJ agreed. We started
with each other's backs, but inevitably stood face to
face washing each other's chests and stomachs. Our hands
gradually got lower until finally, I decided that I
needed to touch JJ down there.
However, when I moved my hand towards her, she froze and
I could tell she was peeing again. Quickly, I pulled my
hand away, and hugged her. She relaxed in a minute, and
quietly said she would wash me. However, when she
touched my wee-wee, I jumped back. Something about it
scared me. Flashbacks of being between Julia's legs came
back to me. I realized in an instant that Julia's game
was about her, and that I was just a toy she used to
make herself feel good. I freaked out, pushed JJ's hand
away, and started to cry. That made JJ cry too. For a
few minutes we just stood there naked in the bathtub
bawling.
After a while, JJ said, "I'm sorry. But I can't let you
touch me there. It scares me."
Sniffling, I told her it was the same for me. We cried
some more, but eventually washed ourselves and got
dressed.
Over lunch, we talked about what had happened. I felt
embarrassed, and could tell that JJ was as well.
However, something made us feel as if we needed to talk
about it. We told each other how hurt we were, by Julie
and Mike respectively. I began to feel better until JJ
said, "I really want you to touch me though."
I was shocked. I knew I wanted to touch her, but I never
thought that she might want me to do it. Instead, I
figured she was just going to let me do it. I guess I'd
seen it almost like what had happened between Julia and
me—one person making a decision to do something, the
other just going along with it. I realized how different
JJ and I were than what Julia and I had been. I asked JJ
if she wanted to touch me. I really wanted her to, so
when she said yes, I felt there was something special
between us. Eventually, we agreed that it was terrible
that we wanted to do something, but for some reason we
couldn't.
When we finished lunch, we went back outside and sat on
the steps of the back porch enjoying the summer sun.
After a few minutes JJ said, "Make me a promise, and
I'll make you one."
It seemed harmless enough, so I said yes.
"OK. Promise me you'll always be with me?" she asked.
"Already promised you that," I reminded her.
"Still promise it?"
"Yeah, of course."
I felt JJ's hands on my face. She turned my head so I
was looking into those deep green eyes. She said,
"Then I promise someday I'll be able to touch you." Then
she hugged me.
Not knowing what else to say, I whispered, "Then it's a
promise."
Pulling back, JJ said another thing that surprised me
even more, "Brian, can you call me Jenny?"
"Um… But I though you liked being called JJ?" I asked.
"By most people, yes. But I think I'd like you calling
me Jenny," she replied, smiling.
"OK, I'll call you Jenny then," I agreed.
"Good, it makes me feel more like a girl," Jenny said as
she gave me a kiss on the cheek.
As we sat there side by side, the softness of the kiss
remained. For some reason that reminded me that Jenny
and I had never talked about our mothers.
* end chapter 3--
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hate, or can see some improvements to my stories, send
feedback to secretdcguy@hotmail.com.
Read more of my work at
/~Secret_DC_Guy/.