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o                                                     o
o The Bookshelf Directories offer a very wide variety o
o of stories. They have been submitted by people from o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Always With Me - 1
by Secret DC Guy (secretdcguy@hotmail.com)

***

After getting caught watching his teenage babysitter 
masturbating, young Brian Shaffer is tricked into being 
used as her toy. When they are finally caught, his heart 
is broken. But things change when a new kid moves in 
next door. (Fb, preteen, ped, nc, 1st, mast, oral, voy, 
rom)

***

Author's Note: This story is for the exclusive use of 
the author. It may be reposted as on free websites or 
free sections of pay websites with the permission of the 
author. 

***

Chapter 1: The Kid Next Door

I really didn't know how to feel as the moving van 
pulled away from the house next door. I was barely six 
years old, having just turned that past Tuesday, June 
10, but I felt like the love of my life had left. True, 
she was older, but that didn't change how I felt about 
her. Julia Rossi was more than just my babysitter. 

We had had a great time together over the past year, 
genuinely in love. Admittedly, until last summer our 
relationship had been the standard babysitter/ward 
relationship. However, one night in August, after my 
parents got home from their monthly night out, I was 
sitting in my room unable to sleep. 

Julia and I had been rough-housing and cuddling all 
evening, so I was revved up. But, as often happened, 
going from an evening of immeasurable fun to sitting 
alone in my room made me feel bored and lonely, wishing 
I could still be cuddling with the beautiful 17 year old 
girl who took care of me.

Our bedrooms faced each other, and I wanted to see her 
again so much. It was a warm evening, so my window was 
open and my blinds up. Summers in northern Pennsylvania 
were much cooler in 1980, so we didn't have air 
conditioning in our house. Julia's window was open as 
well, so I looked across the narrow side yards hoping to 
see her one last time. I ended up getting to see much 
more than I would have expected.

When she came into her room, Julia was already wearing a 
long night shirt. It was really just a long beat-up t-
shirt, but she looked beautiful in it. Her straight dark 
brown hair fell below her shoulders contrasting with her 
light skin. She was really skinny and not particularly 
tall, but she had a really big chest. I didn't know why, 
but I knew that was a good thing. 

Some nights when my parents got home from a night out, 
always a bit drunk, my father would stare at Julia's 
chest with a big smile on his face. She either didn't 
notice, or pretended not to, and would leave after 
getting paid. My mother would always chide my dad about 
being so obvious, though always ending by telling him 
that he understood because Julia's chest had the same 
effect on her. 

At first Julia just walked around her room a little, 
fiddling with stuff here and there. Eventually, she 
picked up her hair brush and sat on her bed going 
through what I figured was her normal evening routine. 
After a few minutes of brushing her hair, she turned on 
her bedside light and turned off the overhead light. 

As she lay back on the bed, Julia picked up a thick 
paperback book that seemed really worn, as if a lot of 
people had read it before she did. After a few minutes 
of reading it intently, I saw her hand rubbing what 
looked like the top of her leg. She didn't appear to be 
paying attention to anything other than the book, as her 
hand slowly pulled the night shirt up so I could see her 
underwear. It wasn't the same cotton stuff my mom wore--
I saw hers in the laundry when I pulled my stuff out to 
fold. Instead they were pink and lacy. They contrasted 
with the beat-up t-shirt, but looked really pretty. 

As she continued to read, Julia's hand started to rub 
between the top of her legs. When I rubbed my wee-wee it 
felt really good, but I also knew girls didn't have wee-
wees. I wondered if they had something else that made 
them feel good. 

After a few more minutes, Julia's hand slid under her 
panties and began to move more deliberately. Her eyes 
closed and she put the book down. Suddenly, she stopped. 
She sat up fully and took off her shirt. Then rolling to 
her back she slipped off her underwear.

I was shocked, since I had never seen a girl without any 
clothes on before. Even my mother would keep her door 
closed if she were changing her clothing. Naked, Julia 
looked more beautiful than she had ever looked before. I 
especially noticed her chest, which looked as attractive 
as my father and mother made it out to be. Most 
surprisingly, though, I saw a patch of hair right above 
where her wee-wee would be, though of course she didn't 
have one. I had seen my dad naked and knew guys had hair 
there, but I didn't know girls did.

Julia lay fully back on her bed and started to touch 
herself just below the hair. Something down there must 
have made her feel good, because her eyes closed again 
and she her mouth opened. When I strained to hear if she 
were making any sounds, it sounded a little bit like she 
was crying. However, her face had a smile, so I knew it 
wasn't. 

After a few minutes her body started moving strangely. 
All of a sudden she grabbed a pillow with one hand and 
put it over her face. All the time she kept moving her 
other hand. Then suddenly she arched her back for what 
seemed like an hour, and collapsed back onto her bed.

At this point, I was so interested that I had my face 
pressed against the window screen. That wasn't such a 
good idea because when Julia sat back up, she looked 
straight into my eyes. A look of panic came over her 
face, and she rolled off the bed out of sight. In a few 
seconds, I saw her hand reach up on the bed and grab her 
night shirt and panties. 
Obviously, I had embarrassed Julia, something I felt bad 
about doing. I watched for another minute or two, but 
she didn't come back into sight. Sitting at the window, 
I felt something had changed, thought I didn't know what 
it was. I just knew that I needed to apologize because I 
didn't want her to stop being my babysitter. When she 
didn't come back, I lay back on my bed, and cried.

I don't know how long it was, but it felt like forever, 
when I heard Julia whispering between the houses. I 
knelt up on my bed and looked over at her. She said she 
had heard me crying and wanted to apologize for 
overreacting. Before I could say that I wanted to 
apologize too, she asked me if I thought she was pretty 
when she was naked. I told her that she was the most 
beautiful thing I had ever seen, trying to sound as 
sincere as I could. The smile that appeared on her face 
was unbelievable. She told me not to tell anyone what I 
had seen and she would give me a better view the next 
time she came over.

Two weeks later, my parents had just left the house, 
when Julia led me up to my room. It was the typical 
young boy room, with superhero posters on the wall. I 
had always been a bit ashamed to have Julia up there, as 
she was older, but she always said it was cute--just as 
cute as me.
Julia closed the door behind us, and then closed my 
blinds, saying that she didn't want anyone besides me to 
see her. When she took off all of her clothing, she told 
me to do the same. It felt weird being naked with a girl 
in the room, exciting and embarrassing at the same time. 
I kind of liked the feeling.

Seeing Julia in person made her look so much more 
beautiful than she had when I saw her from my window. As 
I stared at her, she smiled and told me to touch her 
where ever I wanted. Based on what I heard my father and 
mother say about her chest, I decided to start there. It 
made her smile. After a few minutes she told me to suck 
on her nipples, which seemed strange. Why would she want 
me to suck on a part of her body? Only a few years 
before, my parents had gotten me to stop sucking on my 
thumb.

After a few minutes of that, Julia took my hand and put 
it between her legs. Where her wee-wee would have been, 
she had a hole. It was wet and kind of slimy. I had only 
touched it for a second though, when she moved my hand 
to the top of the opening. There was a big bump, that 
she started rubbing my fingers against. When she let go 
of my hand, I kept going. She must have liked it because 
she started moaning, and telling me how great of a kid I 
was.

After a few minutes she asked me to do something that 
shocked me. After stroking my face and telling me that 
she loved me, she asked me to lick the bump. I was 
scared, knowing how slimy she felt down there, but 
knowing that Julia loved me made me want to do anything 
for her. So, cautiously, I got between her legs.

I was surprised. The slimy stuff actually tasted good. I 
couldn't describe it, but I enjoyed it a lot. Julia 
coached me in what to do, and after a few minutes she 
was rocking her hips and moaning. After a few more 
minutes, she started to scream, arched her back, then 
took in a deep breath and held it. When she calmed down, 
she sat up and kissed me on the lips.
We lay on my bed for a long time with Julia telling me 
that she could get into trouble if I told anyone about 
our new game. I promised I wouldn't. Then smiling, she 
said we could do it again.

We kept playing our game over the fall and winter, and I 
couldn't have been happier. Every time we finished, 
Julia told me she loved me, just not like my mom and dad 
loved me. She loved me like a girl loved a boy. I had no 
idea what that meant, but it made me feel special.

Disaster struck on New Year's Eve. My parents were 
supposed to be out late, so Julia was going to spend the 
night in our guest room. As soon as they were out of the 
driveway, we went up to my room. Because they were going 
to be out until after Julia and I were both asleep, we 
didn't even bother to close the door. 

We had played our game once and were in the middle of 
playing it again, when I heard my mother scream. Looking 
out into the hall, I saw her, my father, and a friend of 
my mother who was the only woman on the local police 
force. I don't know why they were home so early, but I 
could see anger in both of my parents' faces. Their 
friend on the other hand walked calmly to the bed and 
gently pulled me up. She handed me off to my mother and 
told my father to call Julia's parents. As my mother 
walked me out of the room and across the hall to hers, I 
could hear Julia crying.

I sat in my parents' room for several hours watching TV 
until I fell asleep. Before I did though, I heard a 
conversation going on downstairs. It was heated and once 
or twice I heard my father shouting. However, as the 
National Anthem played while whatever channel I was 
watching signed off the air, I drifted to sleep. 

Sometime in the night, I remember my father picking me 
up and carrying me back to my room. As I started to fall 
back to sleep, I heard my mother saying that she hope 
they could all pick up where they left off--whatever 
that meant.

The next morning, my mother and father sat down and gave 
me the 'good touch, bad touch' talk. I was really 
confused because they said that certain touching was 
only for a person you were in love with. But when I said 
that I loved Julia and Julia loved me, they just told me 
that what Julia did was wrong and that she would never 
hurt me again. I didn't feel hurt and said so. But my 
parents wouldn't listen. 

Finally, the conversation came down to the fact that 
Julia was more than 10 years older than me, and I didn't 
know what I was doing. That part had been true, but 
instead of telling them that Julia was teaching me, I 
just said I understood. 

When I asked if Julia would be babysitting me anymore, 
my mother hugged me and said no. When I started to cry, 
my mother just stroked my hair and told me everything 
would be OK. She said that it would take some time, but 
I would get over the pain Julia caused me. Apparently, 
she didn't understand why I was crying.

The next day, Julia was gone. Word around the 
neighborhood was that her father was moving for work and 
that she had gone ahead to get a full half-year at the 
new school. People said she was staying with an aunt or 
something. Some part of it must have been true, because 
a week later a 'For Sale' sign went up on her parents' 
house. It took a while for the house to sell, but then a 
month before school ended in June a 'Sold' sign went up. 

Now a week before school ended Julia's parents were 
gone. It hit me that I would really never see her again, 
when a house painter's van pulled up. They were there to 
cover up any trace of Julia that might be left.

***

The next week was a blur. At the same time the school 
year was ending, I watched workmen come in and out of 
the house next door. According to my mother, they were 
making some quick repairs, painting, and putting in new 
carpets before the new family moved in. My mother didn't 
know much about them other than the fact that they had 
one child about my age. As an only child, I thought that 
I might at least end up with a new person to play with. 
When I asked my mother if it was a boy or girl, she said 
that she didn't know.

Saturday morning, I sat in my window watching movers 
carrying boxes and furniture out of a large truck and 
into the house. I didn't see the kid, only a tough 
looking man directing the move. I figured it must be the 
new kid's father, but when I asked if I could go 
introduce myself, my father stopped me saying that I 
should let them get settled first. So I went back up to 
my room and spent the day watching the movers out of the 
front window of my room. 

It was about 5:30 when the moving van finally pulled 
away. The guy who had been organizing the move pulled a 
pickup truck into the driveway and went inside. After 
maybe an hour, he came back outside and sat on the porch 
drinking a beer and waiting. 

Finally, an hour later, as the evening shadows began to 
stretch over the neighborhood, a car pulled in behind 
the pickup truck. The father got up, and almost seemed 
to skip over to the car. While a woman got out of the 
driver's seat, the kid got out of the passenger's side 
back.

I strained my eyes trying to see what the kid looked 
like, and figure out if it was a boy or girl. At first 
it was hard to tell, as the kid had reddish blonde hair 
that was too long to be a boy's cut but too short to be 
a girl's. I had heard the cut referred to as a 'page 
boy'. However, when the kid pulled a baseball glove and 
a Baltimore Oriels cap out of the car, I guessed the kid 
was a boy. 

When I looked more closely it made sense, as he was also 
wearing a Washington Redskins shirt and beat up jeans. A 
smile came to my face as I thought that even though I 
lost Julia, I would have someone to do little boy things 
with. We could play catch, ride bicycles, and maybe walk 
along the railroad tracks if our parents weren't 
watching. I lost the love of my life, but at least I was 
going to get a new friend out of it. 

I must have been pretty obvious sitting in the window, 
staring down at the new kid because he saw me and waved. 
When I saw his face, my heart fluttered. He had the most 
angelic smile. I couldn't tell much more from up there, 
but I knew there was something special about this boy. I 
didn't want to be just fiends with him, I wanted more. I 
had no idea what that meant, but I knew being friends 
with him wouldn't be enough. I wanted to always be with 
him. I wanted to touch his face and even kiss him. 

When the thought of kissing him entered my mind, I 
panicked. I knew that boys were supposed to kiss girls, 
not other boys. There had to be something wrong with me. 
I didn't know what it was, but I knew I had to tell 
someone. I thought my mom might understand, so I waved 
back to the kid and ran downstairs to find her.
When I found her I cried, "Mom, there's something wrong 
with me."
She had been putting the supper plates in the 
dishwasher, but stopped and gazed at me with the most 
compassionate look. "What's wrong, Brian?" she asked.

"Mom, I saw the new kid, and I think he's beautiful. I 
even want to kiss him," I sobbed.

"Brian, it's hard to understand you when you're crying," 
she said coming over and hugging me. "But it sounds like 
you're feeling some grownup stuff. It's going to be 
fine. Feelings like that are natural. I never thought 
your father and I would have to have 'the talk' with you 
while you were so young. But Julia did some things to 
you that mean you'll have to grow up early. 

I can't say that these kinds of feelings are easy, but 
we just have to deal with them. You'll have them for the 
rest of your life, so you might as well learn about them 
now. Let's give you a bath and after a good night's 
sleep your father and I will talk with you tomorrow 
morning. Deal?"

I nodded my head and headed back up the stairs with my 
mother behind me. I didn't feel any better though. 

***

It was probably about 8:30 when my mother finally left 
my room. I didn't want to go to bed, but she insisted 
that it was past my bedtime. We finally made an unspoken 
agreement that she would turn the light off and leave, 
while I pretended to go to sleep. As soon as the door 
closed, I was at the side window looking between the 
houses. 

Just like I used to sit and watch the love of my life, I 
was now watching for the new kid. My feelings were 
confused, every time I thought about him, I got the same 
feeling I got when I thought about Julia. I wanted to 
hold him and cuddle with him. I knew boys shouldn't 
think about other boys like that, but I just had to see 
him again tonight.

Soon my waiting paid off. The new kid walked into the 
room wearing a robe. His hair looked wet, so I figured 
he had just gotten out of the bath as well. His smile 
was just as beautiful as it had been when he was down by 
the car. It made me feel warm inside.

Apparently, the new kid's parents didn't put him to bed 
anymore because his father and mother came into the room 
kissed him. After turning on his bedside lamp, they 
turned off the overhead-light. From my window I could 
see that his bed was along the wall directly across from 
my window. Next to it was a dresser, which the kid 
opened and got out a pair of pajamas. They were a simple 
t-shirt and shorts pair, but the pattern seemed strange. 
It almost looked like there were flowers on them. I 
didn't know any boys who like to wear flower patterns. 

My puzzlement turned to shock when the new kid let the 
robe drop to the ground. All of a sudden I was staring 
at the boy's back and butt, and my heart was beating 
faster. I had seen other boys naked in the showers in 
the swim club locker room, but this boy didn't look 
anything like them. I had heard my parents talking about 
people having heart attacks, and I figured I was about 
to have one. 

Without putting on his pajamas I saw him start to look 
around the room. Suddenly, the new kid turned around and 
saw me. I froze, knowing that I had been caught looking 
watching somebody through that window again. However, 
instead of looking embarrassed, the kid simply started 
to excitedly wave at me. 

My mind started to swirl. I want to jump between the 
houses to be with this kid, so that I could hug him and 
kiss him. I had never had a feeling like that before, 
not even for Julia. People had told me about crushes 
before, and I knew that this was my first. It might be 
on a boy, but I knew that somehow I needed to be with 
this kid forever.

I also felt something I had never felt before. For some 
reason my wee-wee began to feel tickly and get hard. It 
had done the latter before, but the tickly feeling was 
new. I felt compelled to look over the kid's body. As my 
eyes scanned down, I notice something. He didn't have a 
wee-wee.

The new kid was a girl!

I couldn't think about this anymore tonight. Within a 
few hours, I had replaced Julia, the love of my life, 
with a crush on a boy, only to find out the boy was a 
girl. My brain shut down. It was all that I could do to 
smile and wave back to the girl then flop back into my 
bed. I closed my eyes and almost immediately fell 
asleep. 

-- end chapter 1--

I always appreciate feedback. If you really like, really 
hate, or can see some improvements to my stories, send 
feedback to secretdcguy@hotmail.com