Author: Moderated by Gary Jordan
Title: The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2004, March
Part: 3 of 2004
Universe: The Silver Clitorides Awards
Summary: The Silver Clitorides Awards are a monthly adjunct to the
Golden Clitorides Awards.  Their object is to promote good stories
and good authors.
Keywords: Stories, Links, Awards
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The March 2004 Silver Clitorides Awards Presentation

Gary stood just outside the door of the library reading room,
listening to the elfin redhead read to the attentive children.

"Once in this spacetime continuum, there were three siblings of a
porcine protoplasmic species who, having reached the age recognized
for majority in their civilization, decided to build habitats for
themselves. The wisest recommended the strongest materials then
recommended in the March 2004 issue of Galactic Mechanix,
Illustrated (Swimsuit Edition), but the other two denigrated his
suggestion, pointing out the esthetic nature of alternate
construction paradigms.

"The first of the porcine protoplasmic entities assembled his
habitat entirely of recycled organically derived materials, aligned
in graceful arcs and an early post-modern motif, and was ecstatic at
the artistic effect he achieved." I bet he was happier than a pig in
shit, Gary thought.

"But before long, there arrived in his vicinity a malfunctioning
fembot from Lupus III.  The fembot desired access to the habitat,
and called upon the porcine protoplasmic entity to dilate a portal.
'Not a hair on your ass' replied the entity. Whereupon the fembot
discharged a Mark IV Vortex gun, blowing the house down and
extinguishing the life of the porcine protoplasmic entity.

"The second of the porcine protoplasmic entities assembled his
habitat entirely of transparent panels of silica alloys, arrayed in
obtuse angles, and enjoyed pursuing his hobby of getting stoned, and
was euphoric at the effect he achieved.

"But before long, there arrived in his vicinity a malfunctioning
fembot from Lupus III.  The fembot desired access to the habitat,
and called upon the porcine protoplasmic entity to open a window.
'Not a hair on your ass' replied the entity. Whereupon the fembot
discharged a Mark IV Vortex gun, blowing the house into shards and
extinguishing the life of the porcine protoplasmic entity."

Unnoticed, Gary's Muse had stepped up behind him.  "What in the
world are you listening to?" she asked in Gary's ear, almost making
him miss the words "titanium steel and reinforced concrete."

"I'm gathering inspiration for this month's award presentation,"
Gary replied.  A child shushed them as the teacher got to the part
about the Vortex gun.

"So I take it from the topic that..." Muse was saying over the
revelation of the counterbattery fire from the Mark IX Disrupter.

Gary nodded.  "The winner of Silver Clitorides Award for the month
of March, 2004 goes to A Modern Fairy Tale by Girl Friday. So I'd
like to congratulate Friday and all the authors and finalists." 

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Story                       Author              Status
________________________________________________________
A Fall in Antioch           Smilodon            Finalist
/~smilodon/Fall_in_Antioch.htm

Jazz Ukulele                Holly Rennick       Nominee
/files/Authors/Holly_Rennick/Jazz_Ukulele.txt

Jason & Jennifer Naked In School Jeremy Spencer	Finalist
/~Jeremy_Spencer/niscomplete.html

Jenny's Bath                Wizard              Nominee
http://www.storiesonline.net/

A Modern Day Fairy Tale     Girl Friday         Winner
/~Girl_Friday/stories/mdft.html

Tired of Being the Nice Guy	MWTB                Nominee
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2004/47236

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