Author: Moderated by Gary Jordan Title: The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2002, September Part: 9 of 2002 Universe: The Silver Clitorides Awards Summary: The Silver Clitorides Awards are a monthly adjunct to the Golden Clitorides Awards. Their object is to promote good stories and good authors. Keywords: Stories, Links, Awards +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+ The September 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards Presentation: It was a much-subdued crowd gathered in La Taverna tonight. Authors and fans, gathered in response to a summons to the solution of a mystery. The mystery of Who Killed Kenny Gamera. Staring at each of the participants in turn, Gary announced, "One of us in this room is the perpetrator." An undercurrent of murmuring and nattering washed over the room. Leaning close to two of the whisperers, Gary overheard Selena Jardine sexily saying, "Murmur, murmur, murmur... murmur." DrSpin responded, "Nattér nattér. Nattér." It was just as he suspected. French. "It all comes down to Means, Opportunity, and Motive. Means... Opportunity..." Gary repeated slowly and with emphasis, "...and Motive." He paced in front of the gathered suspects. He stopped in front of celia batau, idly playing with her boning knives and scissors. "celia certainly had the means," he said, pointing. "hi, Gary!" celia responded. "have you changed your mind about learning to be a slave?" Gary moved to the next suspect with alacrity. Apparently, alacrity was uncomfortable with slavery, too. "As for motive, celia's 'Submission 113' was in competition with Kenny's 'A Pepsi.' He spun on his heel. "As was Selena Jardine's 'Red, Light'!" "Vous ne savez pas de quoi vous parlez," Selena responded. "Je faisais lécher mes ongles d'orteil ce jour-là." Beside her, DrSpin nodded as though he understood what she said. "So was 'Russian Radiance'," Gary pointed out, fixing DrSpin with a gimlet eye. Being neither broken, nor in need of a gimlet eye, Spin shrugged it off. It fell into his drink, which was not a gimlet, either. "Not much motive 'ere, Mate. Me 'n Dyson's already struck Gold. So's the French Sheila." Gary nodded. That still left DB Story, the secret grrl, and iambe. He whirled on DB Story, flanked by two impossibly perfect specimens of feminine pulchritude. "Where were you on the night of the seventh?" he interrogated. "He was with us," his companions replied together. "The third? Twenty-third? Nineteenth? Fifth?" Same answer each time. Sheesh. When did he find time to write? Gary turned to the secret grrl. "I suppose you have an alibi, too?" She nodded. Gary waited patiently. Finally, he was forced to ask, "Well? What is it?" "It's a secret," she responded. "Oh." Gary turned away. Oosh stood. "Surely, after dismissing all the other Silver Clitorides Finalists as suspects, you're not implying that Iambe killed Kenny?" Gary looked startled. "Of course not! She had no motive at all. After all, "Flagrante Delicto I: Velvet" is the winner of the Silver Clitorides Award for best story of the month of September, 2002. The assembled crowd broke out in chears. "Then who killed Kenny Gamera?" shouted one author. "Nobody. Kenny isn't dead. Congratulations Iambe, and all of the nominees and finalists for October. The September 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards Winner: Flagrante Delicto I: Velvet /~celestial_pen/velvet.html by iambe /~celestial_pen/ +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+ The September 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards Finalists: Flagrante Delicto I: Velvet /~celestial_pen/velvet.html by iambe /~celestial_pen/ Mandy http://home.att.net/~DB_Story/Mandy.html by DB Story http://home.att.net/~DB_Story/ A Pepsi http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/38071 by Kenny Gamera /files/Authors/Gamera/ Red, Light /~Selena_Jardine/RedLight.htm by Selena Jardine /~Selena_Jardine/ Seduces Me /~thesecretgrrl/stories/seducesme.html by the secret grrl /~thesecretgrrl/ Submission 113 http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/38298 by celia batau +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+ The September 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards Nominees: Before the Storm /~Ann_Douglas/before.htm by Ann Douglas /~Ann_Douglas/ Fall of the House of Whores http://assm1.asstr.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=Fall+House+Whores&index=subject by Mr. Slot /files/Authors/mr_slot/ Flagrante Delicto I: Velvet /~celestial_pen/velvet.html by iambe /~celestial_pen/ Friday Night at the Adult Bookstore http://www.cleansheets.com/fiction/kimera_09.25.02.shtml by Mike Kimera http://www.cleansheets.com/ Leah /~Simon/leah.html by Simon /~Simon/ A Little Naughtiness http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/38313 by Courtney Sweet http://erotic.stories.by.courtney-sweet.com/ Mandy http://home.att.net/~DB_Story/Mandy.html by DB Story http://home.att.net/~DB_Story/ Marilynn http://home.att.net/~DB_Story/Marilyn.html by DB Story http://home.att.net/~DB_Story/ Menage a Noir /~number_6/menage.html by Number 6 /~number_6/ A Pepsi http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/38071 by Kenny Gamera /files/Authors/Gamera/ Petunia /files/Authors/NightShade/Pet_all.txt by NightShade /files/Authors/NightShade Red, Light /~Selena_Jardine/RedLight.htm by Selena Jardine /~Selena_Jardine/ Russian Radiance http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/38263 by DrSpin http://assm1.asstr.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=drspin@newsguy.com&index=email Seduces Me /~thesecretgrrl/stories/seducesme.html by the secret grrl /~thesecretgrrl/ Submission 113 http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/38298 by celia batau +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+