Author: Moderated by Gary Jordan
Title: The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2001, October
Part: 10 of 2001
Universe: The Silver Clitorides Awards
Summary: The Silver Clitorides Awards are a monthly adjunct to the
Golden Clitorides Awards. Their object is to promote good stories
and good authors.
Keywords: Stories, Links, Awards
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The October 2001 Silver Clitorides Awards Presentation:
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep...
By general invitation to all the authors, their friends and
family, and their fans, the campgrounds have filled up to near
capacity. The facilities range from primitive to civilized.
There are pup tents, family tents, pop-up campers, and
recreational vehicles. There are even a customized bus and a
charter bus (Oosh's fans, or so the rumor goes.)
In a central clearing, a bonfire blazes in the middle of a
cleared area. Barrels of water are off to one side for
firefighting if need be. The fire is at the hollow of a natural
bowl, and logs are set on the slopes to form a sort of
amphitheater. The logs are mostly occupied, although a steady
stream of people wanders back and forth to the bathrooms and
showers.
Authors and fans alike have been swapping ghost stories around
the bonfire while waiting for the final tally of the Silver
Clitoride voting. Some have been toasting marshmallows or making
smores. A flash of skin at the edge of the woods indicates that
not all of the revelers are around the fire. Indeed, one of the
RVs is a-rockin' (no one's a-knockin, but that could change at
any time with this group.)
Gary steps before the bonfire and yells for attention. In his
left hand, he holds a small silver trophy; his right holds a
certificate suitable for framing. It must be suitable - it's in
a pine frame with a matte border. Before he can yell a second
time, a trio of streakers bursts from the woods and passes
between him and the assembled throng. It does nothing to quiet
the hooting and hollering, but it does serve to bring attention
to the front. He holds the trophy over his head and the
cacaphony dies off until the sound of the flames and the crackle
of the fire can be heard.
Into that relative silence, Gary announces, "I have the results
of the voting. I know it's late and a lot of us are tired, so
I'll just read them off, and the winners can come up afterward
and pick up their trophies and certificates." He raises the
trophy higher and lifts the framed certificate as well.
Scattered clapping mixes with tired murmurs and slowly trails
off.
He lowers the trophy and frame. Reading a note taped to the back
of the frame, he says, "The Silver Cliteride for the Best Story
of the Month of August, 2001, goes to 'Til Death Do Us Part' by
Desdmona."
He waits patiently for the clapping and whistling to abate. It
isn't reduced by the streakers transitting once again, their
number swollen to five, but eventually it is low enough to
continue.
"The Silver Clitty for the Best Story of the Month of September,
2001, goes to 'Business Class' by Wiseguy." Once again the noise
level rises, encouraged by yet another passage of the eleven
streakers.
When he can again be heard, Gary observes, "I suppose we have our
own form of Dangling Chads" to much tittering and snickering.
"The Silver Clit for October goes to..." he pauses to sip from a
Diet Coke can held by his Muse's sockpuppet. "Where was I? Oh,
yes. The Month of October, 2001, belongs to 'War Secret' by
Oosh."
An entire section of the amphitheater erupts in cheering and
squeels of delight. Oosh's fans are legion and vocal. In the
firelight, someone (possibly Oosh herself) is being carried away.
In all fairness, lots of people are getting carried away,
especially the twenty or so naked runners now headed for the lake
for a little midnight skinny-dipping.
When the crowd once again achieves a level of composure, Gary
announces the final award. "In the most closely contested heat,
the Best Story of the Month of November, 2001, goes to 'The Way
to Pitsburgh' by Mat Twassel. A shift of a single vote could
have created a four-way tie. As it is, Mat's story was judged the
best of an excellent crop by his friends and fans."
Standing so close to the fire, Gary is giving serious thought to
joining the streakers in the lake. But he has one last duty to
perform. "Those of you who are leaving tonight, please drive
safely. Those who are staying in camp tonight, please stick
around in the morning long enough to police the area." He pauses
for the boos and catcalls. "In either case, I want to thank you
all for participating."
The October 2001 Silver Clitorides Awards Winner
War Secret /~oosh/warsec.html
by Oosh /~oosh/
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The October 2001 Silver Clitorides Awards FINALISTS:
Carl Naked in School /~gary/naked/Naked.htm
by Peregrinf
Howl at the Moon /~Desdmona/stories/hatm.html
by Desdmona /~desdmona/
The Ass Menagerie /~jimmyhat/33.html
by Jimmy Hat http://www.jimmy-hat.com/
War Secret /~oosh/warsec.html
by Oosh /~oosh/
The Package /~MariaGonzales/package.html
by Maria Gonzales /~MariaGonzales
The Tutoring Session /~Ann_Douglas/session.htm
by Ann Douglas /~Ann_Douglas/
Fuiste Polvo, Polvo Eres http://assm.asstr.org/Year2001/32967
by celia batau
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The October 2001 Silver Clitorides Awards Nominees:
Carl Naked in School /~gary/naked/Naked.htm
by Peregrinf
The Neighbour's Daughter /~henlar/
by Henrick Larsen /~henlar/
Howl at the Moon /~Desdmona/stories/hatm.html
by Desdmona /~desdmona/
Secret Admirer /~anoninsac/thesecretadmirer.htm
by Anoninsac /~anoninsac/
The Ass Menagerie /~jimmyhat/33.html
by Jimmy Hat http://www.jimmy-hat.com/
The Seduction of Charlotte, my Housekeeper's Daughter /files/Authors/normdeploom/
by Norm DePloom /files/Authors/normdeploom/
The Seduction of Laurie" http://assm.asstr.org/Year2001/32983
by Charlotte North
War Secret /~oosh/warsec.html
by Oosh /~oosh/
The Package /~MariaGonzales/package.html
by Maria Gonzales /~MariaGonzales
The Girl With a Bicycle /files/Authors/Wandering_lanes/
by Wandering Lanes /files/Authors/Wandering_lanes/
{Thigh Vs, Thigh}"Someone Wicked This Way Cums" /~ShonRichards/tpages/twicked.html
by Shon Richards /~ShonRichards/
The Tutoring Session /~Ann_Douglas/session.htm
by Ann Douglas /~Ann_Douglas/
Fuiste Polvo, Polvo Eres http://assm.asstr.org/Year2001/32967
by celia batau
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